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The Story Behind the film "Kindness Boomerang": Part I

• The Story Behind the film “Kindness Boomerang”: Part I

In the words of Margaret Mead: “ Never doubt that a small group of committed people can change the world; indeed it is the only thing that ever has .”

I’ve always believed in the good of others and the potential of each person to make a great difference in this world. Some call me naïve, some call me a dreamer, some call me foolish. They ask me how after reading the news headlines, witnessing the pain, tragedy and destruction that occurs on an every day basis brought about by the greed and hatred of fellow human beings, that I can even attempt to believe in the good of all people. To those people I say, YES there are bad actions, but there is no such thing as a bad person.

If you really look at each person as individual you will find that they too once believed in the good of others. But, you will also find that somewhere along the road of their life they got burned, they got hurt because of their belief and slowly but surely they became cynical and eventually they became afraid to believe. To insure that we protect ourselves, sometimes we create walls, masks, barriers. On the outside we have a rough exterior, sometimes to the point where we begin to believe that the facade is our reality. But, deep down in our heart the belief still flickers, it may not be as bright, we may not even see it, maybe we don’t want to see it.

Kindness is something we all know to be important, but we tend to forget it somewhere along the way. Until one day, when we feel as though things can’t get much worse, we bump into someone else and for no reason whatsoever they touch us with kindness. Tat small touch ignites the feeling hidden deep within us once again and we begin to feel something we haven’t felt in a long time and it feels so good. If we’re lucky we take a moment to notice these precious moments and allow those moments peel off a layer of cynicism, allowing some light to enter. Perhaps, the next steps we venture will be with a new perspective, one that makes us more aware of those around us, one that makes us even for a fleeting moment to believe once again in the good of others, to trust.

The Kindness Boomerang was my attempt to remind the child within each of us, the innocence we once had, to remember that change is possible – to remember that kindness is possible and within our very reach. Open your eyes, become aware of your surroundings and you will be surprised by the amazing opportunities that lay before you . Your act may propel others to follow because kindness, like the domino effect has the power to spread rapidly. Who knows perhaps the kindness you perform today will magically find its way back. So put your heart out there and touch the life of another with kindness.

Each scene was taken from a real life experience that I’ve had with complete strangers. Little do they know the effect and impact they have had on me. Go and create your own scenes, stand back and watch how magically one kindness leads to another. Over the next week I will share some of those stories with you and hope you share some of your own.

But most importantly remember that kindness is not about the big things, it’s about the small things that are right in front of us every moment. So get out there and seize the day – because there is no day but TODAY!

So, what “If everyone cared”? – let’s try it out and see where it takes us. I’m rooting for all of us!

Love the way you think!! I try to pay something forward each day…thanks for the inspiration! 🙂

Thank you so much for spreading your message. There is so much grief in the world, even without cruelty. We will always need each other to fan the flames of kindness that lies in our hearts.

I bumped into your website… Guess how? Yep, looking for words and acts of kindness. I found the “boomerang video”, and now I’ve got you “liked” on Facebook, bookmarked, and in the permanent links of my blog. You know? Sites, blogs and posts as these of yours are like a cup of spring water for the thirsty soul, that suddenly realizes its inner kindness can surely bloom again. And now, regarding the present post, I would like to remark that in my experience it is not so much the possibility of kindness “boomerang-ing” back to me what gives me the boost, but the very kind act and disposition itself. Anyway, great idea, great mission and… Well, what can I say? I’m totally there with you! 🙂

I just wondered if you have ever heard of Rachel’s Challenge? ”I have this theory that if one person can go out of their way to show compassion then it will start a chain reaction of the same.” ~Rachel Scott http://www.rachelschallenge.org/LearnMore/WhatIsRC.php (BTW – read her essay – Meet Rachel tab:-)

The concept of your film and now reading your words make me realize/feel that You and Rachel Joy Scott are kindred spirits…On the day that RC visited our school one of our teachers found your film and sent it to all faculty/staff – and many showed to students…I had the privilege and opportunity to show it to our RC Presenter, Larry Scott (Rachel’s Uncle), he was deeply moved and asked me to send to him (which I did and also to RC directly)…Also watching with Larry Scott was our Drama Director, D.J. (who heard about RC and brought it to the school)…as we are watching he says, “This looks a lot like the street my Salon was on.” Towards the end – as the camera makes a full circle he says, “That was it!” You filmed on the same street that he had previously owned a business – and we watched in Savannah, GA! I believe in “Everything Happens For A Reason” and sometimes we understand why…and sometimes we don’t…But From The Bottom Of My Heart I Want To Thank You! This film has touched my heart and I am going to share your “Making Of” story with my faculty tomorrow (and the link to watch again as well:-) “What goes around comes around – let’s make what goes around be something good!”

Donna! Your message truly just made my day and brought such a big smile to my face and warmth to my heart – Thank You! Unfortunately, I never heard of Rachel Challenge – but her philosophy is so much in sync with Life Vest Inside’s message and the way I strive to live my life.

I am so happy that one of the teachers managed to stumble upon the film and shared it with you. I greatly appreciate your support in passing it forward and sharing it with RC and others. I would normally say, “I can’t believe how amazing it is that his Salon was on!” But if there is anything I’ve learned from life experiences as well as working on this organization and interacting with people on a day to day basis, it’s that everything happens for a reason and we are all so connected in more ways than we know. I absolutely love uncovering the magical ways in which our lives connect so seamlessly – it’s like watching a work of art in action!

Once again, thank you for your encouraging words and support! I also wanted to let you know about the Educational Aspect of Life Vest Inside. I am visiting schools across the country, giving workshops and lectures about the organization. One of the workshops is based upon the film and it’s quite amazing. If your school is interested, I would absolutely love to address the student body. Feel free to reach out and I can give you more information. My email address: [email protected] . If not, feel free to give a call regardless:)

Together we will most certainly make something GREAT come around:)

With kindness and gratitude, Orly Wahba

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The Phenomenon of the Kindness Boomerang

• Posted on 22:02, September 17 2013
• | Updated 11 months ago

In a world often characterized by division and discord, the concept of a “kindness boomerang” offers a refreshing perspective. The term, coined by the non-profit organization Life Vest Inside, is beautifully illustrated in their viral video titled “Life Vest Inside – Kindness Boomerang – ‘One Day'”. This inspiring video, which has garnered over 37 million views, captures the essence of the kindness boomerang phenomenon, demonstrating how a single act of kindness can create a ripple effect, touching lives and making a significant impact.

The video begins with a simple act of kindness: a man helps a young boy retrieve his lost ball. This seemingly small gesture sets off a chain reaction, with each recipient of kindness turning around to help someone else. The acts of kindness vary, from helping a stranger carry heavy bags to comforting a distressed individual. Each act, regardless of its size, carries a profound impact, illustrating the power of the kindness boomerang.

The kindness boomerang concept is based on the belief that kindness, like a boomerang, comes back to you. The video beautifully encapsulates this idea, showing that the man who initiated the chain of kindness is eventually on the receiving end of a kind act himself. This powerful narrative underscores the message that no act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.

The video’s soundtrack, “One Day” by Matisyahu, complements the visual narrative perfectly. The lyrics speak of hope, unity, and the desire for a world where people choose peace over conflict. This aligns seamlessly with the kindness boomerang concept, reinforcing the idea that kindness has the power to unite us and make the world a better place.

The kindness boomerang phenomenon is not just a concept for a viral video; it’s a philosophy that can be applied in our daily lives. It encourages us to be kind without expecting anything in return, knowing that our actions can have a far-reaching impact. It’s about understanding that every act of kindness contributes to a larger narrative of compassion and empathy.

In conclusion, the “Life Vest Inside – Kindness Boomerang – ‘One Day'” video serves as a powerful reminder of the impact our actions can have. It shows us that kindness is not just a virtue but a powerful force that can transform lives. The kindness boomerang is a phenomenon that we should all strive to be a part of, for in a world where you can be anything, be kind. After all, as the video beautifully illustrates, what goes around comes around, especially when it comes to acts of kindness.

Be kind to everyone you meet, no matter who they are or how they are behaving.  You have no idea what another person is experiencing in the world inside their head and heart, and who knows… perhaps the Universe put you in their path so you could be a light that would lift them up.

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The Boomerang Effect of Kindness

See how far an act of goodness can go [video].

It doesn't take much to smile at a stranger, say thank you to the cashier or hold the door open for someone - these small acts of kindness can brighten up anyone's day and take minimal effort. Perpetuated moments of thoughtfulness and consideration exemplify the concept of paying it forward, resulting in a ripple effect of goodwill. Created by the nonprofit  Life Vest Inside , this inspiring video demonstrates how far the power of kindness can go, in the end boomeranging back to where it began. RELATED: Happiness, the Movie  Put Your Mind to Being Kind Think Good, Speak Good, Do Good 

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The Astonishing Power of Kindness

Try this single act to transform hate into harmony..

Posted December 8, 2021 | Reviewed by Jessica Schrader

• Kindness has ripple effects and can breed benevolence.
• Research shows that generous acts can result in dramatic health benefits.
• The butterfly effect of kindness demonstrates how a single act can have dramatic consequences.

“My religion is kindness.” –The Dalai Lama

We live at a time when families and neighbors have become polarized by dueling political views. Misinformation cements the chasm that divides us. The pandemic refuses to abate, leaving illness, death, and budding variants in its wake. An astounding 838 organized hate groups operate nationwide and use social media as their amplifiers.

In the context of such rabid dissension, what can a single person do to foster harmony, compassion, and joy? How does one live with this turmoil as a backdrop yet remain healthy and happy?

Here’s a proven recipe: Contribute a single act of kindness.

When I reflect on the transformative nature of kindness, this immediately comes to mind.

Years ago, when I was newly single and trying to create out of whole cloth a complicated Christmas season, I attempted to decorate a 10-foot tree in a valiant effort to convey to my children that despite the newly altered state of our family, life must go on. It was my hope that the holiday lights, garland, and bulbs would shore up our spirits.

The adorned tree was beautiful … briefly. In the wee hours of the morning, the alarm system alerted us of trouble. Our not-so-little tree had lost its balance and crashed to the floor smashing my family’s treasured ornaments, along with the gilded angel that had graced our treetop for three decades.

Yes, it was only a tree, but I cried. I saw the fallen tree and the shards of glass and glitter littering the floor as a metaphor for my broken marriage . I viewed it as emblematic of the many losses we had experienced that year.

Unduly distraught, I arrived home from work that day to find two heroes in my living room. There, perched high on a ladder wiring the fallen tree to the wall was Brendon Cox, a contractor who was working on home repairs, while his assistant Dave was perched on a chair, delicately trying to glue tiny fragments of the angel's face back into place. These two men intuitively understood the fallen tree represented something much greater, and they wanted to ameliorate my sadness by surprising me and restoring it.

My eyes filled with tears for a second time that day, but this time tears of joy. These two generous men could have been grouting tile or relaxing at home, but there they were, wire and superglue in hand, in a magnificent act of kindness.

This sweet memory has resonated throughout the years, reminding me of how compassion can transform despair and resurrect hope. Kindness is a powerful and life-changing force.

The ripple effect of kindness

There’s an interesting theory called the butterfly effect. It describes how the flap of a butterfly’s wing can lead to a cyclone in another part of the world. It is a mathematical construct that explains how small changes can have large consequences.

So it is with kindness. A single, simple kind act can have enormous consequences.

Studies show how kind acts radiate goodwill by incentivizing the benefactor to, in turn, generate kind acts. For example, a study in Science Daily showed that goodwill is contagious and that thoughtful acts have a domino effect. One person’s generosity will spread to three people. Those three people will each pay forward the kind act to three others, benefiting nine in all. Those nine will continue to multiply the kindness. This leads to a ripple effect and subsequent waves of kindness. It is not hard to see how a single act contributes to a kinder, gentler world.

No act is too small.

• When at a restaurant, ask for the name of your server. Write “thank you” using the person’s name when you leave a tip.
• Surprise someone who appears stressed and let them in front of you in the grocery or pharmacy line.
• When you have waited for an interminable amount of time to reach a customer call center only to find the representative unhelpful or curt, ask for the person’s name and say, “You must be really busy today. Thank you for taking the time to help me with this.”
• Remember compliments are free, and true compliments shine a bright light onto others. Use them with abundance.
• Surprise someone by sending a favorite book, poem, or small gift through the mail.
• Bring flowers to an elderly neighbor.
• Send a hand-written note of appreciation to someone who makes your life better.

Kindness begins by remembering we all struggle

It’s especially important to remember the powerful nature of kindness when someone’s aggressive or thoughtless action threatens to upend your day. Kindness begins with the understanding that we all struggle. So, whether you are navigating a personal slight—a curt customer service rep, a driver cutting you off in traffic, or unexpected sarcasm from an associate—rather than lashing out in response, remember this simple truth. It can be life-changing: Be kind, and remember everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.

We can never know what hardship those we encounter are experiencing—marital woes, a cancer diagnosis, a sick child, a financial setback. But what we can know with certainty is that any generous, forgiving act on our part will be met with gratitude and understanding, and our kind response to someone’s thoughtless act can transform that person’s day.

The boomerang effect

And there’s this surprising benefit—kindness boomerangs. Studies have found that your kind acts can make you healthier.

Here’s how it works: Good deeds produce oxytocin, commonly known as the love hormone . Oxytocin has significant and long-term benefits, as David Hamilton reports in his book The Five Side Effects of Kindness . Oxytocin protects the cardiovascular system, serves as an antioxidant eliminating free radical damage, and reduces systemic inflammation. Studies show that oxytocin also speeds wound healing, may slow the aging process, and is a mood elevator.

These findings are bolstered by a study published by the NIH National Library of Medicine that examined kind acts performed over seven consecutive days. The findings show that the initiator of the kind acts reports increased happiness . It further found that the happiness was boosted regardless of whether the benefactors were strangers, friends, or acquaintances. What mattered was only that they infused the world with good thoughts and good deeds.

Happy people are those who do for others

In summary, random acts of kindness, goodwill toward others, and generous deeds can lead to your being both healthier and happier. As Booker T. Washington said, “Those who are happiest are those who do the most for others.”

It has been six years since my Christmas tree fell. Yet I recall with great joy how my sadness was transformed into joy by two men who understood that the most important thing we can do in life is to let others know they are not alone. Their gift transformed my mishap into a blaze of loving-kindness that has resonated throughout the years.

Yes, it is the worst of times, but it is also the best of times, as they say.

Juxtaposed with the strife we're experiencing, scientists have worked tirelessly to give us access to lifesaving vaccines that are reliably combating a menacing disease. Corporations and individuals have stepped up and increased their charitable giving to those in need. When a record-breaking storm wreaked havoc in Texas earlier this year, strangers pitched in delivering generators, opening their homes, and delivering food. Shelters have been emptied as dogs and cats have been given loving homes.

So, during this season of light, go forth by remembering that, as Thich Nhat Hanh said, “Compassion is a verb.”

Southern Poverty Law Center report on organized hate groups

Science of spreading generosity https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/03/100308151049.htm

David Hamilton: The Five Side Effects of Kindness

https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/the-heart-and-science-of-kindness-2…

https://www.cnn.com/2021/02/18/us/neighbors-helping-texas-winter-storm-…

Gina Vild , the co-author of Two Most Important Days, How to Find Your Purpose, and Live a Happier Healthier Life, is a former Associate Dean and Chief Communications Officer at Harvard Medical School.

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Kindness Boomerang The Book

How to save the world (and yourself) through 365 daily acts..

Kindness Boomerang: How to Save the World (and Yourself) Through 365 Daily Acts is an awesome lesson-a-day book on the power of kindness, giving you a guide to incorporate kindness into your daily life . For each day of the year you’ll find an act of kindness, inspirational quote and short reflection from my own life about the power of paying it forward! The book provides tangible steps to change your outlook on life and is broken down into 12 categories of kindness that repeat throughout the book.   Learn more and see what others are saying about the book!

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With 25 Million Views of Her Kindness Boomerang Video

The author and Founder of the wellness organization Life Vest Inside offers a guide for kind living.

“The greatest mistake we can make is allowing the guilt of what we haven’t yet achieved consume us.” ~Orly Wahba

“instead of looking at the gap between where you are and where you want to be, stop for a moment and look behind you at how far you’ve come and the small goals you’ve achieved.” ~orly wahba, “when you open your heart you may be surprised to find a piece of yourself that you have lost sight of.” ~orly wahba, “a teacher is not simply a person who hands over facts and figures, but rather knowledge of life, of the endless possibilities awaiting his or her students.” ~orly wahba, “i see you.” three simple words we all crave to feel. ~orly wahba, “we all have something unique to give, to teach, to inspire, to instill.” ~orly wahba, “procrastination, fear, and uncertainty are what i like to call the enemies of progress, preventing us from pursuing our dreams and achieving the goals we set for ourselves.” ~orly wahba, “sometimes we need to take a step back to have the courage and strength to take the next steps forward.” ~orly wahba, “choices don’t simply dictate the lives we lead, they impact the lives of those who choose to follow us.” ~orly wahba, “it’s one thing to choose the right path when others have treaded that path before you; it’s another thing to create your own.” ~orly wahba, “when you’re faced with a choice, choose to inspire, choose to empower, choose to stand for those who have lost the will to stand for themselves.” ~orly wahba, “it’s once we see a person for who they are that we can begin falling in love with the qualities that make them unique.” ~orly wahba, “i’ve found that the more we learn to see the hidden gems within ourselves, in spite of our tendency for self-criticism, the easier it becomes to spot them in others.” ~orly wahba, “our differences are reasons to celebrate.” ~orly wahba.

Author and Founder of the wellness organization, Life Vest Inside, offers a guide to incorporating kindness into your daily life.

Author and Founder of the wellness organization, Life Vest Inside , offers a guide to incorporating kindness into your daily life.

Orly Wahba is an educator, entrepreneur, speaker and community activist passionate about motivating people to make the world a kinder place. Orly began her career as a Middle School educator empowering children to see their power to influence the world for good. In 2011, Orly founded Life Vest Inside, a non-profit organization with a mission to empower and unite the world with kindness.

Life Vest Inside gained international acclaim when Orly’s award-winning film Kindness Boomerang went viral. Orly has spoken at TED and has been featured on The Today Show.

What People Are Saying

Amanda Palmer

Orly has put together a little gift box of 365 reminders; each one a digestible, practical little to-do item that will spark a change in the world. Kindness Boomerang is a little book that will make a big change, a little bite-sized bible of reminders for those who want to stay on the path of compassion.

NY Times bestselling author of “Delivering Happiness” and CEO of Zappos.com, Inc.

Kindness Boomerang is filled with fun tips and ideas for finding happiness in everyday activities.

Peter Scolari

Emmy Award Winning Actor

Orly Wahba's book 'Kindness Boomerang' is more than good philosophy, it is a box of spiritual tools - it is full of heart and decent thoughts, good will, and makes available a ready course of action for any given day. This is the work of a beautiful and evolved human being. When I grow up, I hope to be more like Orly Wahba. Get this book! Change the world a little bit at a time, and you yourself can change...

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Kindness Boomerang

A common question I receive about my acts of kindness is, “Do you ever hear back from the people who receive your RAKs (random acts of kindness)?”

When I began my kindness journey six years ago, it was with intentional purpose to share the stories with others while also providing a way for kindness recipients to get an “insider’s view” of what led up to their specific kindness or why it had meaning to me. It’s a fun way to keep the conversation going, keep the kindness spreading, and also becomes a living journal of my adventures.

I also LOVE surprises and nothing beats the surprise of having someone reach out to let you know they received your kind act! It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, it can transform an ordinary day into a magical moment!

While I share several of these heartfelt “kindness boomerangs” in my new book, A Passion for Kindness , (which will be released in February – just around the corner!), I had another one happen on Christmas Day and it made my heart soar once again.

As many of you know, one of my favorite kindness days of the year is RAK Friday , where I go out in the crowds of Black Friday shoppers and do lots of little acts of kindness wherever I go. One of the RAKs I completed was jotting down a note of affirmation and encouragement and leaving it inside of a “Be Kind” purse at a local store.

I took a photo of the note, tucked it inside the bag, said a little prayer that whoever would find it would be blessed, and went on about my day.

This is the message I received on Christmas Day – a comment posted to my website:

The next day I received an email from the mom, Rita, that included these photos:

Rita shared that the purse was a gift from her childhood friend for her daughter, Maria, who is “known for her kindness to others.” It was such a thrill to hear how this RAK was discovered and to know another seed of kindness will scatter to others!

Have you received a surprise act of kindness this holiday season? I would love to hear your stories, too! Comment below and let’s keep the kindness going!

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The Happiness Boomerang Effect: When Positive Activities Backfire

Image: Taylor Nicole/Unsplash

This is part two of a two-part series exploring how positive activities, such as practicing kindness and gratitude, can improve (or undermine) individuals' happiness and physical health. Read part one here.

One of the most poignant scenes in season two of NBC’s This Is Us is when Kevin—a former high school star quarterback and homecoming king turned failing actor struggling with addiction—returns to his hometown to receive an honored alumni award. In his acceptance speech, Kevin begins to thank his coach and parents, but, as he considers the effort these mentors invested in him, Kevin realizes just how far he has fallen and how disgraceful his behavior has been. Envisioning his deceased father on stage with him, Kevin realizes he is far from the man his father dreamed he would become. He ultimately delivers a depressing monologue about his own lack of honor, and—spoiler alert—the episode becomes a catalyst for some dangerous, rock-bottom behavior.

How and why could a genuine expression of gratitude transform into something so unpleasant?

The benefits of engaging in “positive activities” to promote happiness are well-documented, as we described in part one of this two-part series on happiness. Positive activities are deliberate cognitive and behavioral strategies aimed at promoting happiness. Expressing gratitude, performing acts of kindness for others, or spending time savoring the moment are all positive activities that can increase happiness.

Unfortunately, the story is not as straightforward as we would hope. The science behind how positive activities work also yields insights about when striving to become happier may backfire.

Why do seemingly positive activities have negative consequences?

Research illustrates that happiness seekers are likely to be unsuccessful when practices like gratitude or kindness elicit negative, rather than positive, emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, or when they reduce, rather than boost, a sense of connectedness, competence, or control.

Consider gratitude as an example. Gratitude exercises may lead you to feel ashamed, incompetent, or inferior for having needed help in the first place or for not fulfilling the benefactor’s expectations, as we saw with Kevin’s speech. Writing a letter of gratitude to someone who supported you could make you feel guilty or embarrassed for not having thanked this benefactor sooner, or could make you feel deeply indebted as the burden of needing to reciprocate sinks in. Some of us have had the experience when the heartfelt sharing of gratitude was uncomfortable or awkward and hence caused us to feel less, rather than more, connected to the other person. These potential negative outcomes may cause those of us trying to become happier through gratitude activities to become paradoxically unhappier instead.

Another surprising example of a positive activity that can trigger negative emotions, thoughts, and behaviors is performing acts of kindness. Acts that are overly generous, like giving away one’s cellphone to a stranger, or excessively burdensome, like spending one’s entire weekend helping a neighbor move, may promote feelings of resentment, frustration, or anger. The giver may feel taken advantage of, exploited, or distressed.

The response of the recipient may also give rise to negative thoughts or behaviors that contribute to unhappiness. For example, the giver may feel low autonomy if her recipient expects or demands the kind act. Or the giver may feel incompetent if his kind act did not help the recipient as intended. If the recipient responds negatively—perhaps because she feels patronized or because the help is inappropriate or inadequate—the giver may feel even more discomfort and embarrassment, and a diminished sense of connectedness with the recipient. Additionally, the giver may be stung by negative thoughts about himself (“Was I foolish to try to help when nobody asked?”) or about the recipient (“I was just trying to lend a hand, but he was being a jerk about it.”).

The science behind how positive activities work also yields insights about when striving to become happier may backfire.

It is also possible that so-called positive activities may have deleterious effects not just on happiness seekers, but also on the people around them. Consider an older person who stubbornly declines a neighbor’s offer to help carry his grocery bags inside. This unwanted or ill-timed act of support may trigger feelings of guilt or vulnerability in the recipient. It is not that the neighbor intends to offend him but that the recipient resents the implication that help is necessary in the first place. The subtle, inadvertent presumption that an individual could not do this act on his or her own could elicit feelings of being burdensome or incompetent.

Interestingly, some research suggests that merely witnessing other people being the targets of kindness may invoke negative social comparisons. It is easy to imagine someone at work wondering, “Why is everyone so nice to my colleagues and not to me?”

Furthermore, gratitude expressions may not be received positively in all contexts. In East Asian cultures, an expression of gratitude may be viewed as burdensome (something one needs to reciprocate), and parents may feel insulted for being thanked for doing something they consider to be part of their parental duty.

Why do these seemingly positive activities have negative consequences?

It may be adaptive for certain practices to produce unpleasant feelings, particularly in the short term, in order to attain future rewards. In previous work , we have proposed that gratitude can stimulate self-improvement by engendering enough positive emotion (e.g., feeling uplifted and supported by others) to motivate the person to approach their goals, but also enough negative emotion (e.g., feeling guilty and indebted) to recognize the need to do so.

For example, a college student might think, “Now that I recognize how hard my parents worked to support me throughout my education, I want to prove myself worthy of their sacrifices by being the best student possible.” The student’s feelings of love for her parents, relief at being able to attend college, and hope for her future, paired with the subtle notion of guilt for her parents’ sacrifices and embarrassment at not having achieved her best grades, may compose just the right emotional medley to energize the student’s academic efforts.

In striving for greater happiness, it is crucial to keep in mind that the very behaviors that may sometimes undermine our efforts are those that we need to harness to increase our happiness.

Illustratively, in This Is Us, Kevin’s negative experience with his thank-you speech and his subsequent downward spiral prompts the realization that he needs to turn his life around; he enters a treatment facility and begins to redeem himself.

Future research may indeed find that small, brief “backfiring” effects are necessary for positive practices to produce gains in well-being in the long run. Ultimately, in light of the mounting evidence that small and simple self-administered positive activities can transform people into happier and more flourishing individuals, it is critical to focus more empirical attention on what may not be “positive” about such practices and habits.

With the above precautions in mind, we may be tempted to avoid using practices like gratitude and kindness altogether, lest our efforts to become happier boomerang and leave us more miserable than we were at the start. But, in striving for greater happiness, it is crucial to keep in mind that the very behaviors that may sometimes undermine our efforts, like writing a letter of gratitude to a mentor, are those that we need to harness to increase our happiness. Research suggests that selecting positive activities that fit best with us as individuals—with our personality, interests, and values—will maximize the chances that such efforts catalyze well-being rather than backfire.

This is part two of a two-part series exploring how positive activities, such as practicing kindness and gratitude, can improve (or undermine) individuals’ happiness and physical health. Read part one here.

Sonja Lyubomirsky

Founding Columnist

Sonja Lyubomirsky is a professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside, where she investigates how people can become happier. She’s written two books, The How of Happiness  and The Myths of Happiness .

Further Reading & Resources

• Fritz, M. M., & Lyubomirsky, S. (in press). Whither happiness? When, how, and why might positive activities undermine well-being. In J. P. Forgas & R. F. Baumeister (Eds.),  The social psychology of living well . New York, NY: Psychology Press. ( Link )
• Fritz, M., & Lyubomirsky, S. (2018). How and Why Positive Activities Can Make You Happier. Behavioral Scientist . ( Link )
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Kindness boomerang : how to save the world (and yourself) through 365 daily acts

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The Role of Kindness in the Modern World

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Essay on Kindness

500 words essay on kindness.

The world we live in today has been through a lot of things from world wars to epidemics, but one thing which remained constant throughout was resilience and kindness. Moreover, it was the spirit to fight back and help out each other. Kindness must be an essential and universal quality to make the world a better place. Through an essay on kindness, we will go through it in detail.

Importance of Kindness

Kindness towards nature, animals and other people has the ability to transform the world and make it a beautiful place for living. But, it is also important to remember that kindness towards you is also essential for personal growth.

Kindness is basically being polite, compassionate and thoughtful. Every religion and faith teaches its followers to be kind. Most importantly, kindness must not limit to humans but also to every living creature.

Even nature has its own way of showing kindness. For instance, the trees grow fruits for us and provide us with shade. One must not see kindness as a core value but as a fundamental behavioural element. When you are kind to your loved ones, you create a stable base.

As people are becoming more self-centred today, we must learn kindness. We must try to integrate it into ourselves. You might not know how a small act of kindness can bring about a change in someone’s life. So, be kind always.

Kindness Always Wins

There is no doubt that kindness always wins and it has been proven time and again by people. Sid is a greedy man who does not share his wealth with anyone, not even his family members.

He also does not pay his workers well. One day, he loses his bag of gold coins and loses his temper. Everyone helps him out to search for it but no one finds it. Finally, his worker’s little son finds the bag.

Upon checking the bag, he sees all the coins are there. But, his greed makes him play a trick on the poor worker. He claims that there were more coins in the bag and the worker stole them.

The issue goes to the court and the judge confirms from Sid whether his bag had more coins to which he agrees. So, the judge rules out that as Sid’s bag had more coins , the bag which the worker’s son found is not his.

Therefore, the bag gets handed to the worker as no one else claims it. Consequently, you see how the worker’s son act of kindness won and paid him well. On the other hand, how Sid’s greediness resulted in his loss only.

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Conclusion of the Essay on Kindness

It is essential for all of us to understand the value of kindness. Always remember, it does not cost anything to be kind. It may be a little compliment or it can be a grand gesture, no matter how big or small, kindness always matters. Therefore, try your best to be kind to everyone around you.

FAQ of Essay on Kindness

Question 1: Why is it important to be kind?

Answer 1: It is important to be kind because it makes one feel good about oneself. When you do things for other people and help them with anything, it makes you feel warm and that you have accomplished something. Moreover, you also get respect in return.

Question 2: Why is kindness so powerful?

Answer 2: Kindness has a lot of benefits which includes increased happiness and a healthy heart . It slows down the ageing process and also enhances relationships and connections, which will indirectly boost your health.

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