baby name essay

My Parents Gave Me the Most Common Baby Name, So I Was Determined to Find a Unique One for My Son

I wanted him to be an original, and definitely not a first-name-last-initial.

Since there were always multiple Jessicas wherever I went, my name was basically reduced to my first name and my last initial. I didn’t want the same fate for my kids, so I’ve always known that I wanted to give my children rare names.

During my first pregnancy, I bought four baby name books and lugged a different one on the New York City subway each day, along with a highlighter and Post-It notes for marking the ones that stood out to me. On my lunch break, I scoured Nameberry.com . I immediately checked any contenders into SSA's name tool, which tracks the 1,000 most popular baby names each year and determines whether they’re trending up or down. No matter how much we liked a name, if it was in the top ten, we nixed it.

My husband, RJ, and I agreed on Lyla (current rank: 118) if we had a girl. Boy names were a struggle. RJ liked Chase, but I wasn’t a fan because it made me think of Chevy Chase. I wanted Emmett, but RJ cringed at the thought of naming his son after Emmitt Smith, the Dallas Cowboys running back who beat his beloved Buffalo Bills in the Super Bowl. We like the baby-naming trend of using last names as first names for boys, like Connor, Blake, Colton and Cooper, but none felt right.

One day during the end of my second trimester, as I flipped through a Pottery Barn catalog, an image caught my eye: a little boy’s train-themed bedroom with the name “Ryder” embroidered on the bedding. Something stirred within me, and I thought, that’s a cool name .

“What do you think about the name ‘Ryder’ for a boy?” I shouted to my husband in the other room.

“I love it!”

I worried that once a name hit a Pottery Barn catalog, it would be too popular, but we had never met a Ryder before. Even better, it hadn’t cracked the top 100 yet. To make it even more uncommon, we wanted to use the less-traditional spelling with an “i” (Rider) instead of the slightly more conventional “y” (Ryder). The more we paired it with my husband’s surname, we knew it was the one.

Yet, every other day, I’d question if we were going to seem too trendy or too hip, or if our spelling was too weird.

“Are you sure you like it?” I’d ask RJ.

But my husband was unwavering.

When we told our final choices to our parents, my opinionated, tell-it-like-it-is mother approved of both Lyla and Rider. She thought they were cute, which gave me more confidence. But then we told my father-in-law. After a puff on his cigar and thinking of the Ryder truck rental company, he suggested we “just name the kid U-Haul.”

I knew the eponym would have mixed reviews, so a small part of me just hoped to avoid the whole situation by having a girl. (Good plan, I know.)

But in the delivery room, as soon as the doctor handed me the baby, I called out, “It’s a boy!” Then RJ said, “It’s Rider!” As soon as I met him, I knew his name fit him perfectly.

RJ couldn’t wait to announce the news on Facebook and post a photo. Everyone left positive comments except for a few older people who confusingly asked, “ That’s his name?”

As I started venturing out with him as a newborn, I’d occasionally brace myself for a bewildered expression from older strangers in the supermarket when they asked what my baby’s name was. I almost wished they wouldn’t ask his name, because their double-take made me uncomfortable. Sometimes after those awkward encounters, I’d wonder if we made a mistake choosing something so offbeat. I’d peer into the stroller and imagine him with our other name options. They felt amiss. I reminded myself that we didn’t name him to make other people feel comfortable, but for our son to make his own way in the world. I was self-conscious back then because his name choice was a reflection of me. Now, at 6, it’s his name. It fits him, just like all names magically seem to do.

Choosing a name is the first and longest-lasting decision we make for our children. Of course, it causes anxiety. But it’s just a prelude to all the choices we’ll have to make for them — and the judgments we’ll receive. No matter what choice you make in any area of parenting, there will always be someone with a different opinion.

Now Rider has three younger brothers, so my husband and I’ve had plenty of practice choosing baby names. None of those processes were as stress-inducing as the first one, but I still made sure our choices weren’t in the top 100 at the time. We named our boys Everett (currently ranking at 90, but it was 114 the year he was born), Dermot (an Irish name that hasn’t even made it onto the Social Security list yet) and Reed (currently at 450). When we named them, I wasn’t concerned about what other people would think of our selections. Like all areas of parenting and life, the more experience and confidence you have, the easier it gets.

One day, Rider will ask how we came up with his name. We’ll tell him the story — and share the other little connections, too. After we named him, my dad started calling him “Midnight Rider,” a song by one of his favorite bands, The Allman Brothers. I’d never heard the song before, but I loved hearing my father give my son a nickname. I had grown up with my dad telling me that the Allman Brothers’ song “Jessica” was one reason he chose my name.

We’ll also tell him that the name “Rider” was a nod to the beginning of my romance with my husband. We met while training for a triathlon, and he asked me out on our first date after a bike ride.

Other than a character on Nickelodeon’s Paw Patrol , which has made the name recognizable to the preschool set, our family has yet to meet another Rider. Although he doesn’t have any other Riders in his first-grade class or soccer team, when that changes, he’ll find ways to be unique, just like I did. Whatever the method and reasoning behind naming him were, it led us to the right one.

Perhaps what matters most, at least today, is that he loves his name. He likes it so much that when his teacher was looking for suggestions of what to call the class fish, he raised his hand and, with a big grin, said, “Rider!”

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MSU Extension

Hello, my name is…. the importance of giving your child a good name.

Kylie Rymanowicz, Michigan State University Extension - January 08, 2015

Is your child lazy? Shy? Aggressive? Or are they creative, thoughtful or determined? Why the words we use to describe our children matter and how we can give them a good name.

One of the biggest milestones in having a baby is selecting the perfect name. Parents recognize a child’s name becomes part of their identity and you only get one shot to pick a good one. As a result, parents often contemplate for months, trying on different names to see which one will suit their little bundle. Cornelius might be too big, Ira too small, but Charlie is just right!

However, a parent’s duty to give their child a good name does not end when it is printed on a birth certificate. The act of giving your child a good name continues throughout their upbringing and these names will be just as important.

In a world full of words, we use language to identify, classify and connect. Words are also used to label, define and compare as we use them to describe ourselves and the people around us. Have you ever stopped to think how the words we use to define others might affect how we treat them or how they feel about themselves? Children, being the little sponges they are, soak up what they hear about themselves. They pick up each and every word we throw out to describe them. What words are you using to define them?

Often times, we use words that have negative emotional associations to describe behavior we do not like in our children, such as being stubborn. Take a minute and think about a child described as stubborn – what comes to mind? Maybe you think of a child that will not leave the toy aisle at the grocery store or simply will not touch their peas at dinner, no matter how much pleading his parents do. But if you take away that prepackaged idea of what stubborn looks like, you remember a child’s behavior can mean and look like many different things. Stubborn can mean persistent, tenacious or determined. The same word could just as easily be used to describe the child who refuses to give into peer pressure to bully someone, or one who refuses to quit even if she is struggling with multiplication tables in school. How quickly our emotional feelings shift when we move from describing a child as determined instead of stubborn.

In addition to using words with emotional associations, we also often use words that are polarized, or feel either negative or positive. For instance, one immediately has an idea of what someone described as “snobby” will be like, just as we do for someone called “sweet.” When we use these polarized words to describe children, we are often giving them a label of absolutes. We are saying rude behavior equals a rude child, 100 percent of the time with no exceptions. As a result, one instance of rude behavior is now taken to represent a child’s entire personality.

Saying that a child should not be described through these negative words does not mean that children never display these negative behaviors or traits. They all do at some point or another and those behaviors should not be considered acceptable. However, it is important to remember that the behavior is negative, not the child . The action is “bad,” not the child .

Criticizing a behavior is different than criticizing a child. When we criticize a behavior, we are showing disapproval for a specific action but when we criticize a child, we are expressing disapproval for being—we show that we don’t approve of whom they are. When we give a child a name like “selfish” for not wanting to share their Halloween candy, we are not describing a selfish act; we are describing a selfish child. When we criticize children for being instead of doing, we are writing a bad name on a nametag that they will carry with them wherever they go.

So, how do we change our negative descriptions to positive ones? Michigan State University Extension has some tips on how to give your children great names!

• Pay attention. The first step is paying attention. Notice what words you use to describe your child, whether you say them aloud or not. Challenge yourself to make list and think about whether they are good names.
• Switch them up. Take those negative names and swap them out for positive ones. Point out your child’s strengths, notice their good behavior and give them good names just for being themselves. When your child begins an art project and ends with scraps of paper, scissors, tape and glue strewn about the entire kitchen, do you describe them as messy or as creative and artistic? Is your little one who hides behind you at family gatherings hesitant to socialize called shy or is she merely calm, contemplative or insightful?
• Let your child pick their own name. Encourage your child to figure out who they are, what personality traits they possess and to come up with good names for themselves.

Words are important. They are powerful. The words that we use, whether privately or publicly, to describe and define our children can and will affect how we view and treat them, as well as how they view and treat themselves. You have the power to give your child a positive, supportive and empowering inner voice. It all starts with a good name .

For more articles on child development, academic success, parenting and life skill development, visit the Michigan State University Extension website.

This article was published by Michigan State University Extension . For more information, visit https://extension.msu.edu . To have a digest of information delivered straight to your email inbox, visit https://extension.msu.edu/newsletters . To contact an expert in your area, visit https://extension.msu.edu/experts , or call 888-MSUE4MI (888-678-3464).

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There's a story behind every baby name. Here are yours

Becky Harlan

Diana Opong

"We couldn't agree on a name for the full 41 weeks of my pregnancy," says Diana Opong, host of the Life Kit episode on choosing a baby name, "and so we waited until she was born to look at her face and decide. A day after she entered the world we chose the name Vivica." Photograph by Jessica Peterson; Collage by Becky Harlan/NPR hide caption

"We couldn't agree on a name for the full 41 weeks of my pregnancy," says Diana Opong, host of the Life Kit episode on choosing a baby name, "and so we waited until she was born to look at her face and decide. A day after she entered the world we chose the name Vivica."

Naming a child is an art form. It can also feel overwhelming.

The circle of influence can be vast — maybe you looked back into your family tree for inspiration, scoured the Social Security website to avoid any impending trends or fended off input from relatives. It's a lot to wade through. That's why Life Kit published an episode earlier this week with a helpful framework for baby naming .

We also asked the Life Kit audience to share what inspired their children's names. Some had a name picked out as soon as they knew a baby was coming, others had their baby earth side for a whole month before deciding. One parent shared a list of 10 criteria their children's names had to meet. No matter the selection story, kids have a way of making their names their own.

Baby Names Are Overwhelming. Here's How To Narrow Your List

Here are a few of your stories:

"I remember not being able to decide between Will and Forrest while in labor. I told the doctor and she said she delivered three Wills in the last few days. So it was easily decided ... Forrest " — Michele Englehart

"It took us all nine months to come up with a name for our daughter. There's so much feedback when it comes to naming a human — friends, family and my silly brain. We wanted something short and sweet and gender-fluid as our times are a changin'. Her name is Leo Nova Shear , and she is a Cancer. We love her so much and can't wait to see her grow." — Emerson Aalto

There's Never A 'Right' Time For A Baby — But These Questions Can Help You Decide

"Nearing the middle of my wife's second pregnancy we were discussing, even arguing, about potential names for our new daughter. The two we were reviewing were Caitlyn and Colleen. It went back and forth a few times, and in the heat of the moment, I put the beginning of one name and the end of the other together – without consciously realizing it.

The new word my brain had formed was our daughter's name: Caileen . She is now 22 and has never known the joy of looking for and finding her name on a bicycle license plate in the Disney Store, but today's children are being named by Bills and Marys and Johns and Lisas. We are choosing names to help signify and honor our children's uniqueness." — David

"Our third daughter, Eden Bea , was born in 2020. We chose Eden, meaning delight , as a reminder of the delight she would be after a difficult year for our family. Bea was chosen after her great grandmother Beatrice, who is her last living great grandparent." — Emily Anderson

Kids Are Anxious And Scared During The Pandemic. Here's How Parents Can Help

"For our daughter, we scoured maps of countries we have never visited. Mariel , Cuba had a nice ring to it and we chose that for her name. Ernest Hemmingway thought so too! His daughter is Mariel Hemmingway.

For baby number three, I turned to a mom's group online, and a woman in Wisconsin proposed the name Lucius Augusto . I said it out loud and my husband looked up. It was perfect! An internet stranger named our son." — Sarah Soriano

What Is Postpartum Depression? Recognizing The Signs And Getting Help

"There's so much that goes into a name, so when I selected my three children's names, I stuck to the following rules:

• Can't be in the top 100 most popular names for babies.
• No intentionally unusual spellings.
• Girl names can't end with an "a" or an "ee" sound, because all girls end with names like that down here in Texas.
• No geographical locations. 
• Boy names can't end with a hard "n" sound, for the same reasons listed above for the girls.
• Family names are preferred.
• No overtly religious names.
• If a friend names their baby that name, it's dead to me.
• We never know the sex of the baby before having the baby, so we go into the birth with two names for each sex, then try on the name with the baby for the first 24 hours.
• No nicknames or truncated versions. 

So what did we name our kids?

Dante Angel (Dante after the classic literature piece. And I know! It's overtly religious, but Angel is my husband's middle name.); Maxine Margaret (the names of my paternal and maternal grandmothers); Oscar Drexel (two saints — St. Oscar Romero and St. Katharine Drexel)" — Amanda Ingersoll Villanueva

We'd love to hear from you. Leave us a voicemail at 202-216-9823, or email us at [email protected] .

For more Life Kit, subscribe to our newsletter .

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I'm a baby name consultant. Here's how I help new parents choose the perfect names

I have been completely obsessed with baby names for as long as I can remember. When I was 8 or 9, my sister and I would write in our diaries, but instead of writing about feelings or crushes, we wrote down ... lists and lists of baby names we liked.

Now, I make everybody talk with me about baby names. I think about names when I’m going to bed — call it my version of meditation. We do a beach family reunion every year, and every year, it’s like, “OK, who’s pregnant? Let’s talk baby names.”

A few years ago, I began to see articles here and there about baby name consultants. I couldn’t believe it was a real job — I used to list it as my dream job in the game MASH. I’d already done some unofficial consultations for friends, which allowed me to put my years of baby name knowledge to use, and I got some really good feedback.

I decided to launch my own business, Naming Bebe, around January 2022, when I was on maternity leave with my daughter. It started pretty small, as a fun hobby alongside my job as a nurse practitioner when I returned to work. But then I started sharing consultations on TikTok. And this year? Oh my gosh, I can’t keep up. I haven’t watered my plants in months.

What’s in a baby name?

People feel immense pressure to choose the right name these days. The generation of people having babies now — let’s say they were born in the '80s and '90s, for the most part, and that was when you had a lot of duplicates and even triplets in the same class, like the Jennifers and Matthews. A lot of people don’t want their kid to have the same name as two or three other kids in class.

I talk to people a lot about popularity — that’s a big concern. But I give them the numbers and explain that popular names aren’t used with the same frequency as they used to be. And I think that settles people’s fears.

People feel like the name they choose starts their child’s reputation, almost like it could be predictive of who they could become, so I think that’s part of the pressure, too. And nobody wants their kid to be made fun of for their name, so that’s another component.

Culturally, there’s more emphasis on being unique and standing out than there used to be. A lot of parents identify with that, and that’s why unique names have become more popular. It makes me think of the personalization of the wedding industry — you have to choose just the right bridesmaid gifts, get the customized welcome sign. It’s a reflection of your style. Just like how you decorate your home, and how you dress. Names come with a vibe and an aesthetic and people want that aesthetic to match their own personal style.

Names come with a vibe and an aesthetic and people want that aesthetic to match their own personal style.

And now, with social media, a lot of people are announcing their baby’s name to more people than they would have prior to social media, when it would have just been your inner circle of friends and family. So there’s a desire to put forward this beautiful name that stands out, that you haven’t seen a million times on your feed. And, I don’t want to say it’s like you’re branding a baby, but there’s more excitement with it now. People are having more fun with it. Kicking around ideas with a baby name consultant is a fun experimental aspect of preparing for a baby . On the flip side, I’ve had a handful of people come to me with name regret , wanting to change their baby’s name. That’s always kind of sad — as a parent, postpartum is already hard enough, and if you don’t feel good about your baby’s name, you may feel completely preoccupied by it. Several of those people have said, “I wish I said the name out loud before I used it.” And after the baby’s born, they just feel like it’s not right.

What does a baby name consultant do?

People book one of my packages (starting at $250) through my website, and I send them a questionnaire to better understand their naming preferences.

It has questions like: What are your top contenders right now? Why don’t they feel right? What are the names that you like, but your partner has vetoed, and vice versa? Are any names off limits? Do you have any preferences around the phonetics of the name? As in, you don’t want it to end in a certain sound, or you want a certain number of syllables. Maybe your last name starts with an S and you don’t want the first name to end in an S. Some people like alliteration; some people don’t . What are your preferences around popularity?

Some people keep it brief. Some people write me a novel. People can get very specific — I had somebody who wanted a component of figurative language built into the name, so either assonance, consonance or alliteration, something that gave the name a poetic element to it. I encourage people to give me as much information as possible.

And then I get to work. I do have a big repository of baby names in my head at this point, but I also have baby-name books I still reference. I use the Social Security Administration site for popularity data. I do a lot of Googling, and I have a few other tricks up my sleeve. Recently I had a client who wanted a middle name that had some significance to places she and her partner had lived, like Berlin. So I was researching like crazy trying to find names that were connected to these places that they had lived in — looking at street names, monument names, flora and fauna that are notable in each area. I can really go down some rabbit holes.

I send them everything in a video or a Google doc. Each name has a short analysis — its popularity, its meaning, why I think it would be a good fit for them. And I also give them feedback on their name list; that’s a big piece for a lot of people. Especially because people often don’t share their chosen name with anybody before they have the baby. Because if you start telling friends and family, you’re going to get 50 different opinions. But then you start to get in your head — is this a good name?! — and you want an objective opinion. So that’s what I try to provide.

Of course there are names that I don’t like. But I’d still suggest them if I feel like they’re the right fit. I try not to let my biases play into the consultation, and I really try to come up with a list that meets the parents’ criteria and what they’re going for. Not every list is going to be the list I would choose. Sometimes parents ask for my honest opinion and in that case, I’m happy to give it!

I would tell parents who are worried about choosing a good name to do their research. Figure out the things that are really important to you, but don’t overthink it. There are a hundred thousand ideas out there, a hundred thousand opinions. Stick to your gut, and don’t let outside influence sway you too much. I think that’s what is creating a lot of this anxiety or hesitation with names today — seeing a negative opinion about that name and then overthinking everything. Try not to let that outside noise affect you too much.

People ask me if I ever get sick of talking about baby names. What a ludicrous question! That was actually a fear of mine when I first started this, but so far, so good! It’s not monotonous work; everybody is coming to you with a new challenge. There are so many names out there; there are always going to be new trends to keep up with. I’m really still in a pinch-me phase. My 8-year-old self would faint if she saw me now! 

As told to Rheana Murray

Colleen Slagen is a baby name consultant, nurse practitioner and mom of two in the Boston area. Learn more at NamingBebe.com .

Why the Choice of Your Child's Name Matters So Much

Naming a child is the first and most far-reaching act of parenting..

Posted October 5, 2020 | Reviewed by Ekua Hagan

Bestowing a name upon a child is one of the first acts of parenting and it is also one of the most far-reaching. I have no doubt that most parents agonize over this obligation and take it quite seriously. However, when you see the whimsical names sometimes chosen for children because of a fleeting parental infatuation with a celebrity or because it sounds like fun to have a new baby with a splashy moniker, it seems as if parents occasionally lose sight of the fact that a name is something that a person must contend with throughout an entire lifetime.

Common Names Are More Advantageous Than Unusual Names

It has long been known that grade-school children with highly unusual names or names with negative associations tend to be less popular than kids with more desirable names , and later in life unattractive or unpopular names lead to more rejection by potential romantic partners in online dating sites.

This is probably related in some way to the fact that people tend to be more strongly attracted to others whose names are similar to their own . Since by definition most people have common names (e.g., 95% of the American population carry just 1% of the first names that are available), odds are that we will be drawn to others who also have common first names.

We even behave more altruistically toward strangers with whom we share a name than we do with strangers having dissimilar names!

Internationally, popular names are less common in frontier areas where there is a premium placed on independence and where social mobility is more easily achieved. Uncommon names are also more likely to be given to babies born during economic recessions , possibly as a way of embracing uniqueness as a strategy for helping the child stand out from his or her peers during fiercely competitive times.

However, given some of the findings discussed earlier, this strategy may very well backfire.

Unfortunately, names can trigger implicit biases against disadvantaged minority groups. For example, a study of 130 elementary school teachers revealed lower expectations for the behavior of children with African-American-sounding names compared to children with Caucasian-sounding-names, and African-American kids with the most unique names are the ones most likely to be socially and academically discriminated against. Along these same lines, an African-American-sounding name on a resume can lead to as many as 50% fewer callbacks from help-wanted ads.

One’s name can be linked to one’s fate in life in other peculiar ways. For example, Germans with noble-sounding surnames such as Kaiser, König, or Fürst (i.e., emperor, king, and prince, respectively) as opposed to more mundane names such as Koch, Bauer, or Becker (cook, farmer, baker) are more likely to rise to management positions in German companies.

Naming and the Management of Self-Identity and Group Identity

Unsurprisingly, names can play an important role in maintaining and advertising one’s self- identity , as illustrated by the recent trend of transgender individuals renaming themselves in order to accurately reflect their gender identity .

By way of a quite different example from the 17th- and 18th-century Southeastern United States, consider the escaped slaves who frequently sought refuge in Native American Seminole communities. Over time, these “Black Seminoles” became fully integrated into their new communities, but they maintained the African naming traditions that had been inherited from their West African ancestors.

The common American practice of using “Old Country” names for children, as when Irish-Americans favor names such as “Sean” or “Bridget,” and the Jewish naming tradition of linking a secular name either phonetically or meaningfully with a Hebrew name, can be thought of as efforts to maintain a link, no matter how tenuous, to one’s ethnic heritage.

The Importance of "Namesaking"

One of the most durable ways in which names have been used to mold identity and to advertise kinship and group membership is naming a child after a parent or other relative—usually referred to as “namesaking.” It has been suggested that the desire to have children may be an attempt to symbolically extend one’s own life into the future , and there is evidence that people who are forced to think about their own mortality not only express a stronger desire for children but are also more likely to express a desire to name future offspring after themselves .

A few things that we know about namesaking are that boys are namesaked more often than girls and that patrilineal namesaking (naming kids after someone on the father’s side of the family) is more common than matrilineal namesaking (naming kids after the mother’s side), especially for boys. Middle names are the most frequent method of namesaking , and first-born males are the children who are most likely to be namesaked . Curiously, adopted children are more likely to be namesaked than non-adopted kids.

In a study of namesaking patterns in 322 American families , I discovered that birth order appears to be an important variable in the namesaking of boys, but that it is virtually irrelevant for girls. Specifically, first-born males are significantly more likely to be namesaked than second-born males, who in turn are more likely to be namesaked than later-born males. In this study, there was no effect of birth order on the naming of female children. (It should be noted that a later study with a much smaller sample failed to replicate this effect.) My study also discovered a tendency for second-born children to be namesaked more frequently (58.6% of the time) if the first-born child had been a girl rather than a boy (namesaked 44.4% of the time).

Parents who are namesakes themselves are more likely to namesake their own children and namesaked children like their names about as much as non-namesaked children like theirs.

Sometimes, parents namesake their children without consciously being aware that they are doing so. This can happen when something called “semihomonymous” namesaking occurs. In semihomonymous namesaking , a child is given a name that resembles the parent’s name without being identical to it, as when the names both start with the same first letter or contain the same number of syllables. While some parents are undoubtedly aware of what they are doing when they invoke this style of namesaking, many reported that they chose their child’s name simply because it “just sounded right ."

Children who are namesaked appear to acquire more advantages than disadvantages from the arrangement, but there can be situations in which boys named after their fathers and explicitly carry the suffix “Jr” are more vulnerable to abuse or psychiatric problems , possibly because of unrealistically high expectations for the son on the part of the father. Nevertheless, naming children after the father does indeed seem to be an effective strategy for strengthening the bond between fathers and their kids.

Frank McAndrew, Ph.D., is the Cornelia H. Dudley Professor of Psychology at Knox College.

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10 Things to Consider When Naming Your Baby

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Welcome, future parents! If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve got a little bundle of joy on the way.

One of the most exciting parts of parenthood is choosing a name for your baby.

It’s no small task, given that it’s a title your child will carry for their lifetime.

Things to Consider When Naming Your Baby”

Embarking on the journey of naming your baby? Fasten your seatbelts as we’re about to take a detour to explore these ten crucial points a bit more.

1. Your Baby’s Name and Their Identity

Names aren’t just words. They’re a powerful form of self-expression and a badge of identity that your child will wear for life.

So, as you flip through those baby name books or scroll through endless online lists, remember that you’re not merely picking out a name.

You’re helping to shape your child’s identity. It’s a big responsibility, but hey, no pressure!

2. Family and Tradition

The roots of a family tree are often rich with names that have been passed down through generations.

These names carry with them stories, memories, and a wealth of familial love. Maybe there’s a Great-Grandpa Arthur who was a war hero, or an Aunt Matilda who was known for her kindness.

Honoring them by naming your baby after them can be a wonderful way to keep their memory alive.

Similarly, names that reflect your cultural heritage can be a fantastic way to celebrate your roots and pass on traditions.

So, break out that old family tree and start exploring!

3. The Sound and Compatibility

The sound of a name can make a world of difference. Picture this – you’re at the park, calling out to your child. Does their name sing in the air or does it fall flat?

Does it flow well with your surname, creating a harmonious melody, or does it clash?

These might seem like trivial considerations, but they’re more important than you might think. The sound and compatibility of a name can greatly influence its charm.

4. Initials and Nicknames

Initials and nicknames are like the fun sidekicks to a name. They can be cute, cool, or just plain convenient.

But be careful about the unintentional words they might spell out. You wouldn’t want your child’s initials to be the butt of jokes at school, would you?

And as for nicknames, well, they’re almost inevitable. So, choose a name that lends itself to a nickname you’d love.

5. Uniqueness and Popularity

In the world of baby names, uniqueness and popularity are like two ends of a see-saw.

Unique names can make your child stand out and give them a sense of individuality. But remember, being too unique might be a burden on your child.

On the flip side, popular names are often timeless and widely loved. However, your child might end up being one of five Sophias or Noahs in their class.

So, it’s all about striking a balance.

6. Spelling and Pronunciation

Imagine having to spell out your name every single time at Starbucks or constantly correcting people’s pronunciation.

A bit of a hassle, right?

While an unconventionally spelled name can be appealing and distinctive, think about the potential inconvenience it may cause your child.

If you’re going for a unique spelling, make sure it’s worth the effort.

7. Meaning and Origin

Names carry meanings, both literal and symbolic. They often reflect the hopes and dreams parents have for their children.

So, take the time to delve into the history and meaning of your chosen name. It can add a beautiful layer of depth and make the name even more special.

8. Future-Proofing

Remember, your baby won’t be a baby forever. They’ll grow up, become an adult, and their name should grow with them.

Will the name age well?

Will it suit them in a professional setting?

It might be cute to have a little “Bunny”, but how will it fare when they’re a grown-up? It’s always a good idea to future-proof your baby’s name.

9. Public Perception

Like it or not, names can lead to stereotyping. Names that are perceived positively in one culture or community might be seen differently in another.

So, consider the various contexts in which your child’s name will be used. It might be helpful to ask friends or family members from different backgrounds for their perceptions.

10 Legal Restrictions

Some regions have restrictions on what you can name your child.

There might be limits on the number of characters, the use of numerals, symbols, or offensive language.

So, before you set your heart on a name, make sure it falls within legal boundaries in your country or state.

Conclusion: The Joy of Naming Your Baby

In the end, naming your baby is a deeply personal journey. It’s about love, identity, and hope for your child’s future.

While there are many things to consider, the most important is that the name resonates with you and feels right for your baby.

So, take a deep breath, let your heart guide you, and enjoy the incredible experience of naming your little one.

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Frequently Asked Questions

What are some popular baby names right now.

The popularity of baby names changes over time and can vary by region. Websites like BabyCenter and the Social Security Administration (for the U.S.) frequently update their lists of popular baby names.

Can I change my baby’s name if I regret the one I chose?

Yes, it’s possible to change your baby’s name after it’s been officially registered, although the process and rules can vary by location. It’s best to be sure about the name beforehand to avoid any hassle.

Is it okay to keep a baby’s name secret until birth?

Absolutely! The choice is entirely up to you. Some parents prefer the surprise element, while others might want to avoid receiving too many opinions. It’s your baby, your choice!

Should both parents agree on the baby’s name?

Ideally, yes. Both parents should feel comfortable and happy with the chosen name. Remember, it’s a team effort!

What if a family member or friend uses the name I’ve chosen for my baby?

It can be a bit disappointing, but it doesn’t mean you can’t use the name. If it bothers you, consider having a heart-to-heart talk with them.

Can I use a name from a different culture?

Names from different cultures can be beautiful, but they should be used respectfully. Research the name thoroughly to understand its meaning, origin, and cultural significance.

About the Author

ParentsPlusKids.com is the go-to resource for new moms and dads who are trying to survive motherhood and fatherhood.

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I’m a baby name consultant — consider these 3 things before giving your child a unique name.

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This is how you play the name game.

Baby name consultant Kayla Naab is sharing the three factors parents should consider if they want to saddle their child with a unique name — usability, integration, and connotation.

Parents looking to eschew Liam , Noah, Oliver, Olivia, Emma, Charlotte and the other top monikers on the Social Security Administration’s most popular baby name list should say the prospective names aloud in a variety of tones, use them in a sentence, and write them down alongside the names of their family members.

“Write the full name with your surname, write it in a sentence or a list, and address a message to this name,” Naab writes in a Business Insider essay published last week . “Assess whether it felt cool, easy, weird, or normal to use the name in a basic way.”

Parents should also ponder potential jokes or insults that could be made with the child’s name, Naab counsels.

For example, Amy Schumer and husband Chris Fischer changed the name of their 4-year-old son from Gene Attell Fischer to Gene David Fischer after he was born.

“We realized that we, by accident, named our son ‘Genital,'” Schumer, 42, admitted in 2020 .

Naab notes that a name should instill confidence in children and build their character — and it has to age well as they age.

“I encourage parents to consider every context, from school papers and roll calls to job interviews and the workplace,” Naab advises in Business Insider. “How would this name look on a social profile, a wedding invitation, an announcement for a promotion, or on the banner for a birthday party? Plug the name into real life.”

Naab says parents should contemplate if the name evokes any negative feelings, imagery, or pop culture references or any unfortunate nicknames and acronyms.

For their part, the experts at babynames.com said trends to watch for in 2024 include names inspired by adjectives such as Rugged, Heavenly, Powerful, and colors, including Azure and Indigo.

Gender-neutral names like Dallas, Jupiter, Aspen, Story, Navy, and Hollis are also gaining steam.

But if Rugged and Powerful aren’t feelin’ it — they do have options.

A 2022 report found that “Issac” and “Chole” — which are likely misspellings of “Isaac” and “Chloe” — are among the names formally changed more often than others.

“Choosing a unique name for your baby can be a great way to help them stand out, anoint them with something special and meaningful, and disrupt the status quo,” Naab points out in her Business Insider essay. “However, it’s really important to consider the lives your child might live and anticipate how your chosen name will impact their experience.”

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11 Questions To Ask Yourself When Choosing A Baby Name

Senior Reporter, HuffPost Life

Choosing a name for your baby can feel like a high-stakes process. After all, you’re just forming an indelible part of his or her identity, so no pressure or anything.

From sound and spelling to family significance and popularity, there are many factors to consider when it comes to baby names. We spoke to baby name experts to find out what considerations they like to bring up with expectant parents.

“A name is one of the first gifts parents give a child, so I recommend they select it the way one would select any gift ― for the enjoyment and good use of the recipient,” said Sherri Suzanne, a baby name consultant and the founder of My Name for Life .

Whatever parents want to choose is up to them, but it doesn’t hurt to let some ideas marinate. Here are some guidelines and questions worth considering when selecting a baby name.

1. What’s my style?

The first thing expectant parents will want to figure out is if they gravitate toward names that are unusual and interesting or classic and popular.

“I ask my clients to begin by observing name styles even before they need to choose ― listen in stores, restaurants and parks as parents call to their children,” Suzanne said. “I ask parents to pay attention to their own visceral reaction to name styles and ask, ‘Am I drawn to contemporary names like Beckett and Harper? Do I feel more comfortable with familiar classics like Elizabeth or William?’”

Linda Rosenkrantz and Pamela Redmond Satran of Nameberry said parents should ask themselves if they want a name that has won universal approval or one that is more unusual. “Ask, ‘Have I considered the disadvantages of both ― having a name that might be shared with several classmates, or one that is difficult to recognize, spell and pronounce?’” the Nameberry founders wrote in an email. “The sweet spot is familiar but not epidemic, distinctive but not outlandish.”

2. Just how popular is this name I like?

Parents can find out just how trendy a name is by checking the Social Security Administration website , which tracks the popularity of baby names going back to the 1880s. You can even see the top 100 names in every state and how many babies were given each name in recent years.

When analyzing name popularity, it’s also important to ask yourself, “Is uniqueness important to me? And why?”

“A name is one of the first gifts parents give a child, so I recommend they select it the way one would select any gift ― for the enjoyment and good use of the recipient.” - Sherri Suzanne, founder, My Name for Life

“Parents today put a huge amount of pressure on themselves to find a unique and distinctive name. Cut yourself some slack and remember that ‘popular’ just means ‘well liked,’” said Laura Wattenberg, the founder of the Baby Name Wizard . “Ruling out every name on the popularity chart is like going to a restaurant and asking the waiter to bring you the dishes nobody ever orders. Chances are, there’s a reason nobody makes those choices. At the least, super-rare names tend to be divisive, like licorice or anchovies.”

She emphasized that the world is full of successful people with incredibly common names. Americans tend to be more creative with their name choices these days, so no popular baby name today is quite as common as a favored name was decades ago.

3. Do I like saying this name?

If you’ve ever seen parents out in public with their children, odds are you’ve heard a child’s name said over and over again. Ask yourself how the name you’re considering sounds when you say it repeatedly in all sorts of tones ― in a disciplinarian way, in a summoning way and so forth.

“Fashion trends, family traditions and meaning are all good criteria for choosing a name. But parents shouldn’t forget to pick a name they love and enjoy saying,” said Suzanne. “After all, they’ll be saying their child’s name a lot. ”

4. Does the name carry strong associations that are difficult to shed?

“In an effort to make a child stand out, sometimes we make it harder for them to fit in,” Suzanne noted. Choosing a name that has a strong association ― positive or negative ― with a famous figure can hinder your child’s ability to make a name for herself or himself.

“Imagine this introduction — ` Hi, I’m Abraham Lincoln. Yes, my parents were history buffs’ — every day of your life,” she said, adding that parents should do a simple Google search before committing to a name so that they can avoid ones that carry baggage. But don’t get too carried away, as there are famous people with practically every name.

“With the proliferation of pop culture through the internet and Instagram these days, it’s in our face,” said Jennifer Moss, the founder and CEO of BabyNames.com . “There are names like Oprah or Khloe that have a very specific association.”

With that in mind, you should focus on the public association with a name and make sure it doesn’t have a negative connotation. There’s also the matter of personal associations. “Sometimes you’ll think, `N o that was the name of my ex-boyfriend, so I don’t want to use that,’” Moss added.

5. Are there goals or guidelines I should keep in mind when naming my child?

It can be useful to stay within a few parameters when it comes time to pick a baby’s name. Some parents want to observe religious traditions, honor a family member or pay tribute to their cultural heritage.

“Sometimes what feel like limitations are helpful when sorting through the vast number of names available to parents,” said Suzanne.

Moss said the popularity of ancestry databases and DNA analysis means people have access to lots of family records and therefore new-old name ideas. “I really believe that’s partly why those old-fashioned names or granny names are trending again,” she said, noting that old family last names can offer the opportunity to honor a whole branch of a family tree.

6. Is it too diminutive?

“You’re not just naming a baby. You’re also naming an adult. So think about how the name would grow with the child throughout their life,” Moss said, adding that names like Pixie or Birdie, which seem cute for a toddler, may not be helpful for a grown woman who wants to command the boardroom.

“You’re not just naming a baby. You’re also naming an adult. So think about how the name would grow with the child throughout their life.” - Jennifer Moss, founder and CEO, BabyNames.com

“Consider using those sorts of names as nicknames but also give them a formal name that can grow with the child,” she said.

Wattenberg suggested asking yourself, “Who am I picturing when I imagine this name in action?”

“Naming a baby is an exercise in hypotheticals and imagination. After all, we’re naming someone we’ve never met. But our imaginations sometimes lead us astray. Are you imagining a baby or picturing the name at all stages of life? Are you imagining your child being a lot like you or embodying your dreams?” she said.

“Remember that kids will take their own paths, and be sure that the name suits a geek as well as a jock, an engineer as well as an artist,” she continued. “Or perhaps, are you actually picturing yourself sending out birth announcements and impressing your friends with your name choice?”

7. Do my partner and I agree?

It’s common for expectant parents to have disagreements about their baby’s name. They both bring their good and bad name experiences into the process and may have family names or traditions that are difficult for the other to embrace.

In some cases, the easy answer is to let one parent have the final say on the name choice while the other is in charge of a different decision, said Suzanne.

“For more difficult disagreements, I recommend parents start by asking whether the disagreement is stylistic or emotional,” she said. “ If the disagreement is about name style ― let’s say one parent favors a traditional name while the other fears being ordinary ― I might suggest a rarely used classic name that feels familiar yet is unlikely to be duplicated in any classroom.”

If the disagreement is more emotional (like choosing whose late grandparent to honor), Suzanne suggested choosing a neutral first name and a compound middle name to pay tribute to both.

8. Will my child introduce himself or herself with confidence?

“Names that are deliberately provocative or form jokes, rhymes, puns or phrases with a surname can turn a simple introduction into a dreaded event,” Suzanne said. “Avoid names that become lifelong punchlines by lifting name candidates off the page and testing them in real-world scenarios. Listen for hidden chuckles that are not evident in print — ` Hi, I’m Rowan Cohen’ or ` I’d like you to meet Carly Marleigh’ or ‘This is Wolf Hunter.’”

She also advised against inventing obscure and convoluted spellings just for the sake of being different. Instead, parents may want to consider if the name is user-friendly.

Moss recommended looking at the name from the perspective of the child. “What you love and think is cute might not necessarily be workable for them,” she said.

9. What is the name’s meaning?

The meaning of a name can have two senses ― the literal definition and the personal significance related to family history or something else.

While the literal sense can be important, the Nameberry founders advise against getting too invested in that aspect. “We don’t think you should be overly concerned with if a name means ‘bold warrior’ in ancient German when it’s clunky in the U.S. today,” Rosenkrantz and Satran said.

“It just takes a moment to ensure that initials do not create an unpleasant word — like ASS — that may someday appear as a user name.” - Suzanne

10. Have I checked for hidden pitfalls of the digital age?

Millennial parents have been open about choosing baby names based on domain name availability and securing their children’s social media handles and email addresses at birth.

While you don’t have to go that far, Suzanne said it’s still important to consider the digital age in your choice. “ The common email naming convention of first initial plus last name can yield some unintended embarrassing results. Cadence Ruddy becomes [email protected], and Max Oron becomes [email protected],” she explained.

“It just takes a moment to ensure that initials do not create an unpleasant word ― like ASS ― that may someday appear as a user name,” she added. “Note that not every word that’s formed is a dealbreaker, but part of examining a name nowadays is knowing how it may appear in contemporary uses.”

11. Am I leading with joy?

Wattenberg advised taking a joy-focused approach to choosing a name ― and continuing to love the name you choose.

“Rather than narrowing down your options by finding every possible fault, narrow up by focusing on what you love about each name,” she said. “Focus on the joy, and you’re less likely to second-guess yourself. Better yet, you’ll have a ready answer when your child asks why you chose her name.”

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From ‘Alma’ to ‘Zuri,’ Parents Are Looking for Positive Baby Names

They’re searching the heavens, and through family history, for strong monikers in a pandemic.

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By Jancee Dunn

The coronavirus pandemic, stretching into another year, has left few corners of everyday life untouched. For the most recent crop of new parents, the pandemic has been the backdrop of their entire birth process — for some, it’s even changed how they chose the names of their babies.

Sierra Armstrong, who works in the service industry in New Orleans, said that she and her partner have named their newborn daughter Kamryn.

The Scottish root of the name, originally spelled Cameron, “means ‘crooked nose,’” Armstrong said. “But I saw somewhere that in the U.S., it means ‘a gift from God,’ and I loved that.”

The virus nudged the name to the top of her list. “Because life is a gift,” she said. “The whole world is in flux, and I’m glad I’m healthy and whole and, so far, haven’t gotten Covid. When you are able to get up each day, and continue on, that’s a gift itself.”

Baby-naming experts are reporting decided shifts in the name selection process.

Pamela Redmond, chief executive of the baby-naming website Nameberry , reported a jump in name searches on the site during the pandemic. There were about 4 million more page views during the nine-month period after the start of the pandemic in March, compared with the nine-month period before it began.

Redmond found that names derived from optimistic meanings — like hope, light and happiness — have been “trending upwards since the beginning of the pandemic,” she said. “Parents are attracted to these positive meanings right now, reflecting the optimism a new baby brings to your life, even when times are dark.”

Views of the name Zora, for example, which means “dawn” and suggests new beginnings, are up 40 percent, Redmond said; while Alma (“soul” in Spanish) is up 37 percent. Lucius, which connotes “light,” is up 24 percent. Other risers include Vivienne (from the Latin root Vivus, meaning “alive” or “lively”), Aurora (Roman goddess of the sunrise), Felix (“happy”), Frida (“peaceful”) and Zuri (“good” in Swahili).

Place names such as Cairo and Milan are also on the rise, Redmond said, perhaps reflecting a longing to travel during lockdown.

The Social Security Administration’s most current list of the country’s top 1,000 baby names dates from 2019, so we have yet to see how these searches translate into baby naming en masse. But the experts I spoke to agreed that new parents are searching for names that represent optimism and strength.

Jennifer Moss, founder and chief executive of BabyNames.com and co-host of “The Baby Names Podcast,” is seeing “a huge influx of gods and goddess names — Persephone, Adonis, Achilles, Athena. These are just jumping on the charts, and they’ve never been there before.” The name Anahita, the ancient Iranian goddess of fertility, is similarly gaining, Redmond added.

With mythological names, Moss suggested, “people want to instill strength in their children, because we’re all feeling scared and powerless right now over this virus we can’t control. How better to arm your child for the uncertain future than to give them the name of a god or goddess who has power over the universe?”

Biblical names, which had been dropping off Moss’s charts in past years in favor of more creative monikers, have also surged. “For comfort in hard times, people turn to faith,” she said. “We’re seeing Gabriel, Elijah, Esther, Lilith and even Naomi, which hasn’t trended in a long time.”

Some parents-to-be have been so distracted by the pandemic that they’ve skipped the deliberation and quickly picked a name. Amanda Austin of Erie, Pa., owner of an e-commerce store specializing in dollhouse miniatures, came up with her daughter’s name on a whim. “It was in March, when the whole world was shutting down,” she said. “Covid terrified me. My husband and his dad own a construction company and Pennsylvania had banned construction work.”

The name “Annette” popped suddenly into her mind. “I shared it with my husband and he loved it,” Austin said. “His reaction is a far cry from my other daughter’s naming process, where we went back and forth for months. I think we had so much going on with the pandemic that we didn’t have the mental bandwidth to dig deeper.” The name also reminded the couple of the 1950s, a “less complicated” time.

Baby names are “like a mirror; they reflect what’s happening in culture,” said Jonah Berger, a marketing professor at the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania and author of “The Catalyst: How to Change Anyone’s Mind.” “Given the current mood, I wouldn’t be surprised if traditional names get a bump.”

Family names, such as those of grandparents, have long been popular. But SJ Strum, a baby name expert in the United Kingdom, is seeing more people name their babies after living relatives like a sister or parent: “I hear, ‘I’ve missed my family so much that even though my mum’s name is not one I’ve considered before, I’m thinking of it now.’”

Abbie and Julia Ensign, YouTube personalities from Lindon, Utah, said that they will be giving their baby boy, who is due Jan. 23, two middle names: one for each of two yet-to-be-revealed family members. “Julia has been doing family history in her pandemic free time and chose a name that will link him to one of the great Ensigns in my wife’s family tree, while his other middle name comes from one of my family members,” Abbie said.

Choosing a child’s name can be a nerve-racking endeavor, no matter the cultural climate. When I was pregnant, my husband and I spent months compiling lists. Those would be winnowed down as family members would helpfully point out, once offered a candidate, that they knew a person with that name who had acute halitosis or a lifelong gambling problem and subsequent ruination.

For my daughter, I wanted a name that was unusual, but not as unusual as mine — a version of J.C., my father’s name.

After much deliberation, we settled on Sylvie for our daughter (French, from the Latin “of the forest”).

No matter how much research you put into a name, your child’s life experiences are largely out of your control. At the moment, certain baby names have fallen decidedly out of fashion since the pandemic began. As you might imagine, anything that sounds like “Covid” is facing tough headwinds; Redmond noted that “Cove,” for example, has been dropping on Nameberry’s charts.

Similarly, parents are currently avoiding the name “Lachlan,” Strum said, “because it sounds too much like ‘lockdown.’”

“Donald” is also sinking, Moss added. “Near 2000, it was number 217, and it’s not on our charts in 2020 — and we do the top 1,000 names.”

And for the time being, we can probably forget “Corona.” “Very pretty, Latin for ‘crown,’” Moss said. “Not happening.”

Jancee Dunn is the author of “How Not To Hate Your Husband After Kids.”

Name of the Day

Popular names, popularity visualizations, popular features.

We picked our baby's name because it wasn't popular. Now it's 'trendy,' and I'm angry AF.

• My husband and I knew we were having only one child, so we took choosing a name very seriously.
• I wanted our son to have a Spanish-language name to represent his heritage.
• When we chose the name Rio, it wasn't popular, but it's slowly becoming trendy.

Picking a baby's name is one of the most stressful things parents-to-be can do. A name stays with your child for the rest of their lives and can affect their adult employability.

Knowing we would have only one child , my husband and I took naming seriously. Early in my pregnancy, we came up with guidelines for our child's name — the main one being that we didn't want the moniker to be in the 1,000 most popular baby names .

Finding the perfect Spanish-language name

As someone who grew up in an immigrant household , I remember feeling sad as a kid because I would never see "Irina" on a keychain when my family went to theme parks. But as an adult, I now appreciate my unique name and how it perfectly encompasses my two cultures. Irina is a common name in my Russian mom's culture, and my last name came from my Cuban dad .

Additionally, I wanted our child to have a Spanish-language name to represent that side of my family because teaching him about his Latin heritage was one of my priorities as a parent.

As I entered my second trimester of pregnancy in October 2019, I started to have insomnia almost daily. During one of these nights, Google searching led me to the name Rio, and I instantly fell in love. And as soon as my husband woke up that morning, he did too.

The name perfectly fit into our naming criteria. It's the Spanish word for river, has a pop-culture reference (we love the character River Tam from the short-lived series "Firefly"), and is short, so nickname-free. But most importantly, it was No. 2,000 in popularity at the time, according to BabyNames.com .

Related stories

We kept the name a secret for the next five months, so it felt extra special — and we avoided others' opinions on our choice. When we finally told the world that our child was born in March 2020, we were still in love with the name Rio and our baby.

But recently, something unexpected happened: Our baby's name has become more popular.

Our baby's name grew in popularity over the past 4 years

Currently sitting at No. 561 on BabyNames.com (up from 677 just two months ago), our once unique name is no longer as rare as it was when we picked it.

Lately, I've heard from friends and acquaintances that they know someone who just named their new baby Rio. It especially hit me after a friend who loves "The Real Housewives of New York City" texted me that not one but two of the wives had a child named Rio — two! I couldn't believe it.

Half a year after I found out about the "RHONY" connection, I'm still struggling with feelings of anger over the popularization of my baby's name. One of the biggest reasons we chose this name was that it wasn't popular, and now it's becoming trendy. I can only imagine how the influence of a popular TV show will increase the name's popularity further.

And I'm a bit heartbroken, too.

We idealized our baby's name for so long, and now it feels tainted. It doesn't quite feel like the name we chose — though I wouldn't change anything. My Rio is such a Rio.

But considering how much thought and care we put into the name and how proud we were of its uniqueness, I'm having a difficult time with its increase in popularity. I don't want to be trendy. I never did.

I'm sure that I'm not the only parent to have changed feelings about their child's name after the fact, so it'll all be OK. But I still wish that this naming trend will be over soon.

Watch: Betting odds predict the most popular names for Prince William and Kate's new baby

• Main content

My Daughter Is 5 Years Old, and I Regret My Baby Name Choice

I knew pretty soon after my daughter was born that I regretted what my husband and I named her. I figured, eventually, I'd fall back in love with the name and get over any misgivings, but now, five years later, I still think we picked the wrong moniker for our little girl .

We chose our daughter's name as a family. More accurately, my two older daughters insisted we give her a name they'd overheard at the park. I was OK with the idea, but not overly thrilled. I said I'd consider it. Once my girls latched onto this name, however, it was impossible to change their minds, and I ended up giving in.

I tend to call her by her middle name quite a bit, which makes me happy.

My hesitation has always had to do with how popular the baby name has become. Think of the top five baby names for girls , and you'll know what it is within a small margin of error (to protect her privacy, I won't share it here). Everywhere I go, I hear other parents calling their daughters the same name, and it kind of irritates me. My daughter is special, and the fact that she shares a name with so many other girls just doesn't feel right. The other reason I have never really warmed to the name is that there are so many nicknames associated with it. I can't control what her friends and teachers call her to the point that I honestly don't even try anymore.

I'm not sure there will ever come a day when I don't feel a twinge of regret over the name we picked . If I haven't shed all my doubts in five years, what are the chances I will suddenly fall madly, deeply in love with the name? I figure what's more important is that I am madly, deeply in love with my child. Her sisters are also very proud when they tell the story of how they chose their sister's moniker, which always makes me smile and feel better.

The bottom line is that it is what it is at this point. I'm not going to change her name and confuse her or make it seem like we're in the witness protection program or something. Instead, I tend to call her by her middle name quite a bit, which makes me happy. And she likes her name, which I have decided trumps any regrets I may harbor. She is and always will be my special girl, and a name won't change that (no matter how many times I hear it at the park).

• Personal Essay

The Complex Art of Naming a Baby

“Be guided by euphonic quality only,” an Atlantic contributor write in 1888.

This is an edition of The Wonder Reader, a newsletter in which our editors recommend a set of stories to spark your curiosity and fill you with delight. Sign up here to get it every Saturday morning.

In 1888, an Atlantic contributor made the case for a “science of names.” “Parents … are strangely careless and unscientific in giving names to children,” the contributor complained. “They forget that not only from the social point of view it is very advantageous to have one’s name remembered, but that from the business point of view notoriety is capital, and must be obtained by persistent and ingenious advertising.” Indeed, the contributor argued, a good name will give a child “a start in life equivalent to a cash capital of at least fifteen thousand dollars.” One way to ensure this head start? “Be guided by euphonic quality only.” (A combined dactyl and spondee are apparently best.)

Although not all of this contributor’s guidance can or should still apply today, the importance of a name to a child’s identity has stayed front of mind for many parents. A name can determine whether a child fits in or stands out—and many parents differ on which of those outcomes is preferable. Today’s reading list explores some recent trends in naming.

The Age of the Unique Baby Name

By Joe Pinsker

Parents used to want kids to fit in. Now they want them to stand out.

The Rise of Gender-Neutral Names Isn’t What It Seems

By Sarah Zhang

The desire of parents to be truly original has had a perhaps unintended effect.

The People Who Use Their Parents’ First Name

By Jacob Stern

“Morning, Carol! Morning, Mike!”

Still Curious?

• The woman naming their babies after themselves : Female “Juniors” are rare. But for certain mothers, passing down their name is a no-brainer.
• A patriarchal tradition that just won’t budge : Straight, married couples in the U.S. still almost always give kids the father’s last name. Why?

Other Diversions

• Killer whales are not our friends.
• When the unnatural becomes natural
• Somehow, airline customer service is getting even worse.

Our 1888 Atlantic contributor might not be too approving of the age of the unique baby name. “Avoid odd, or eccentric, or poetic combinations,” they wrote. “It is true that an odd name may be remembered, but the associations with it will not be pleasing.”

It’s 2022 and People Are Still Confused That My Kids Have Their Mother’s Last Name

T he woman from the Social Security office had a lot of questions. I dutifully answered them, using my shoulder to clamp the big hospital phone to my ear so I could use both hands to adjust my one-day-old son’s latch. She asked me my name, birthdate, place of birth, marital status, Social Security number. Then she asked me all of these same questions about my husband. Then she asked for the baby’s time and date of birth, his sex, and to carefully spell his first and middle names.

She did not ask me for his last name, despite the fact that my husband and I had different last names. Half-dazed and exhausted, I didn’t notice this until her tone went from business-casual to chirpy and congratulatory and I realized she was about to end the call.

“Wait!” I said. “I didn’t tell you the baby’s last name!”

“Oh, I have it,” she replied, and spelled out my husband’s last name.

“No, actually, it’s Hirsch. H-I-R-S-C-H,” I said, emphasizing the “c” as was my habit.

“I thought you said you were married.”

“I am,” I said.

She replied, “Then Baby gets Dad’s last name.”

Read More: My Kids Can’t Get Vaccinated Yet, and I’m Barely Keeping It Together

This is the assumption I’ve been pushing back against since my first son was born nine years ago: that babies must take their fathers’ last name. It’s true that patrilineal baby-naming dominates in America. Researchers have found that heterosexual married couples give the baby the father’s name more than 95% of the time . But tradition wasn’t a good enough reason to convince me that the children I grew in my own body shouldn’t have my name. After all, it’s (mostly) women who do the hard work of pregnancy and childbirth. We also do the vast majority of the actual parenting (in the American Time Use Survey , mothers record spending more than twice as much time physically caring for young children as fathers). So why shouldn’t we pass on our names as well?

Luckily, my kids’ father agreed. We considered hyphenating, but that seemed like a one-generation solution before the number of names became unwieldy. Besides, he was never a fan of his last name, which was stamped onto his family’s documents on Ellis Island, and not the name they actually boarded the boat with, whereas my name was very important to me.

Read More: How the Pandemic Could Finally End the Mommy Wars

My paternal grandfather, John Hirsch, had traced our genealogy back to the 1600s in Germany and Sweden. Some of my earliest memories are of sitting on the floor of his study, paging through the big binders of horizontally laid family trees. I loved looking at the names of my ancestors: Florence Mae, Winifred Alleyne, Henning Joseph. My great-grandmother was a descendant of Johnny Appleseed’s half-brother. We were also connected to the Edwards family, descendants of a Welsh pirate and, arguably, the owners of a few dozen acres of land in lower Manhattan they would certainly never get back.

This didn’t feel like history to me. It felt like who I was, who I am, and an important part of what I wanted to pass on to my children, and their children, and so on. I grew up in a family with three daughters, so if the name was going to survive another generation, one of us girls would have to buck tradition. I wanted it to be me.

I finally managed to persuade the lady from the Social Security office to record “Hirsch” as the baby’s last name and, no, she didn’t need to talk to my husband first. But this was just the first of many exchanges that have reminded me that a woman passing on her name demands an explanation, while a man doing the same does not.

Read More: ‘Of Course She’s Not O.K.’ The Conversation That Changed How I Thought About Early Motherhood

Most often, this looks like benign confusion. People see my kids’ names and call their dad “Mr. Hirsch.” I get asked for my birth name and then get strange looks when I reply, “Hirsch.” For years, I got invitations and holiday cards addressed to “The HisLastName Family,” even though 75% of the people in my home were Hirsches. Or people just want to know why the kids have my last name and not their father’s (a question I’d guess men who pass on their names never have to answer). I know people make assumptions based on what they’re used to, but sometimes the comments reflect not just surprise but an underlying belief that the man is, by definition, the most important person in the family. People say things like, “You’re lucky the father let you do that,” as if I wouldn’t be an equal partner in the decision.

And of course people online have very strong feelings about how I’ve chosen to name my children. Despite the fact that my kids’ names have nothing to do with them and affect them in no way, dozens of people (mostly men) have taken time to share their outrage with me, call me names, accuse me of being a bad mother or of destroying incentives for men to marry, and threaten me for denying a man of his birthright to pass on his name. I’ve seen so many variations of people asking, “Why would you give the kids your father’s last name instead of your husband’s?” that, at times, I begun to feel invisible. It’s not just my father’s name. It’s my name. Couldn’t they see that erasing a woman’s ownership of her own name is a symptom of the same disease I’m trying to remedy?

This devaluation of mothers doesn’t exist only online. Mothers who work full time make an average of 75 cents for every dollar working fathers make . And in the early months of the pandemic, a Lerner Center for Public Health Promotion survey showed that 80% of U.S. adults who were not working due to caregiving responsibilities for kids not in school or daycare were women. Attempts to pass more social supports for working parents, like paid family and medical leave , subsidized daycare and universal preschool, have stalled, and it’s mothers who will be shouldering the bulk of these burdens, giving up our jobs along with our names.

Read More: Sharing Personal Stories Won’t Move the Needle on Paid Family Leave. Talking About Money Might

I think of these facts every time someone asks, out of curiosity or anger, why my children have my name, but every time I hear my children’s names spoken aloud or I write them down on one of the endless forms that materialize when you become a parent, I feel proud that their name is my name. My grandfather died before my first son was born but lived long enough to hear that I was expecting and that the baby would be a Hirsch, like him. Like me. It makes me happy to know that the name will live on, like the genealogy books that are now in my father’s study and will someday be in mine and then my sons’.

And perhaps the name will go on after them as well, if they choose to have children of their own. Unless, of course, they opt to give their children their partners’ names, a decision I would fully support. That’s another thing I would be proud to pass on.

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Between 1909 and 2022 there were 83 births of Essay in the countries below, which represents an average of 1 birth of children bearing the first name Essay per year on average throughout this period. On the last available year for each country, we count 2 births .

Information about the first name Essay

• Names of French cities Essay

Anagrams of the first name Essay

An anagram is a word that contains the same letters of another word. Here is the list of first names which are an anagram of Essay : Essya , Eyass , Sesay , Yessa

Essay in Japanese *

Essay in sign language, essay in binary language, origin and meaning of name essay.

• Since late 16th century, borrowed from Middle French essay, essai (“essay”), meaning coined by Montaigne in the same time, from the same words in earlier meanings 'experiment; assay; attempt', from Old French essay, essai, assay, assai, from Latin exagium (“weight; weighing, testing on the balance”), from exigere + -ium.
• From Middle French essayer, essaier, from Old French essaiier, essayer, essaier, assaiier, assayer, assaier, from essay, essai, assay, assai (“attempt; assay; experiment”) as above.
• essay (plural essays)
• (authorship) A written composition of moderate length, exploring a particular issue or subject.
• (obsolete) A test, experiment; an assay.
• (now rare) An attempt.
• (philately, finance) A proposed design for a postage stamp or a banknote.
• (Received Pronunciation, General American) IPA(key): /ˈɛs.eɪ/ (1), IPA(key): /ɛˈseɪ/ (2-4)
• Rhymes: -ɛseɪ
• Homophone: ese
• (UK, US) IPA(key): /ɛˈseɪ/
• essay (third-person singular simple present essays, present participle essaying, simple past and past participle essayed)
• (dated, transitive) To try.
• (intransitive) To move forth, as into battle.
• Sayes, Seays, Sesay, eyass
• essay n (definite singular essayet, indefinite plural essay or essayer, definite plural essaya or essayene)
• an essay, a written composition of moderate length exploring a particular subject

• Borrowed from English essay (“essay”), from Middle French essai (“essay; attempt, assay”), from Old French essai, from Latin exagium (whence the neuter gender).
• essay n (plural essays, diminutive essaytje n)
• IPA(key): /ɛˈseː/, /ˈɛ.seː/
• Hyphenation: es‧say
• Rhymes: -eː
• → Indonesian: esai

• Essay m or n (strong, genitive Essays, plural Essays)
• essay, usually on scientific, cultural or sociological subjects for publication in a newspaper or magazine
• essayistisch
• Aufsatz (umbrella term for all sorts of essays)

• essay n (definite singular essayet, indefinite plural essay, definite plural essaya)
• Borrowed from English essay, from Middle French essai.
• essaysamling

Popularity of the name Essay

Number of essay births per year.

Total births of Essay by country

Total births of essay by country (last available year), comments on the name essay, personalities with the first name essay, film actors and actresses with the first name essay, rankings of first name essay by country.

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Mom Admits Regret After Giving Son an 'Adult Name' That Didn't Fit Her 'Squishy Baby' (Exclusive)

The little boy's name wasn't meshing with his "squishy little baby" presence

• A mom of four who welcomed her first baby boy said she felt uneasy about his name in a way she didn't with her previous kids
• Heather opened up about the possibility of having name regret in a now-viral TikTok video
• While some commenters tried shaming the mom for how she felt, many others shared similar stories about naming their own children

What's in a name? A lot if you've just welcomed a little one into the family.

Heather, known as @_heatherel_ on TikTok, recently shared a video in which she opened up about having some complicated feelings about naming her baby boy Reed.

"Since the beginning, I'm not convinced I like his name ... even though I like his name," she explained in the video.

"I'm having a hard time figuring out if I really don't like the name or if I'm having a hard time connecting it to him because he's a little squishy baby."

Speaking with PEOPLE about her musings gone viral, Heather says she "started wondering" about the name after welcoming her little boy home.

"I started wondering if I had made the right choice around the time we got home and settled. I knew I loved the name, but I was having a hard time connecting it to such a tiny little human!" she tells PEOPLE.

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Heather's husband tried to reassure her, telling her he felt sure about the name.

"He has been 100 percent sure of the name since the day we chose it!" she shares. "In fact, it was his name suggestion and he compared every other option to it."

Heather asked at the end of her video if other moms could relate. Commenters swarmed in with a combination of nickname suggestions and reassurance that the mom would feel like the name fit her little one in time.

"I have gotten quite a few really good ideas and adorable nicknames," Heather shares. "Stan the Man — which uses his middle name — Reeder Rabbit, and Reedy Petey have been the favorites!"

Heather was grateful for moms who "let me know I wasn't alone."

"Many other parents had similar reservations for their own children. In most cases, it just took some time to get used to, which is what I believe will be the case for me."

Heather notes some people have said there's no shame in changing the name if her heart isn't set on it.

"There is a sentimental meaning to the name, so I wouldn't legally change it. He was my first boy after three girls, so part of me wonders if it was still just the shock of having a son," she says.

"On my platform, I share my journey in motherhood as a working mom, and have been fortunate to build a welcoming and engaging community of other parents. In this case, I was met with almost all positive and encouraging words and suggestions."

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Baby Reindeer’s Alleged Real-Life Stalker Threatens Legal Action Over Netflix Show: ‘I’m the Victim’

Baby Reindeer is Netflix’s No. 1 show at the moment, but the woman who allegedly inspired the series is not happy about its success.

In a recent interview with the Daily Mail , the woman — whose name was not given — said that she is considering legal action against Richard Gadd , who created and stars in the Netflix series.

“He’s using Baby Reindeer to stalk me now,” the woman claimed. “I’m the victim. He’s written a bloody show about me.”

Based on Gadd’s one-man stage show of the same name, Baby Reindeer follows a struggling comedian named Donny Dunn (Gadd) as he interacts with Martha Scott ( Jessica Gunning ), a former lawyer who begins stalking him. The series was inspired by Gadd’s own experience of allegedly being stalked and sexually assaulted in his 20s.

Related: Which TV Shows Are Renewed, Which Are Canceled in 2024-2025?

Gadd, now 34, has asked fans of the TV show to stop trying to find the real person that inspired Gunning’s character, but not everyone has listened. The woman told the Daily Mail that she has been the target of “death threats and abuse from Richard Gadd supporters” since the series premiered earlier this month.

While Gadd claims to have changed identifying details about his real-life stalker, the woman who spoke to the Daily Mail claims that his script amounts to “bullying an older woman on television for fame and fortune.”

The woman also took issue with the title Baby Reindeer , which comes from a pet name Martha uses for Donny in the series. Martha tells Donny that he reminds her of a baby reindeer toy she had as a child because of his “big lips, huge eyes and the cutest wee bum.”

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“I’ve never owned a toy baby reindeer and I wouldn’t have had any conversation with Richard Gadd about a childhood toy either,” the woman told the Daily Mail . “Richard Gadd has got ‘main character syndrome.’ He always thinks he’s at the center of things. I’m not writing shows about him or promoting them in the media, am I? If he wanted me to be properly anonymous, he could have done so. Gadd should leave me alone.”

Related: TV Shows Inspired by True Crime

Baby Reindeer fans have also tried to identify the real person who raped Gadd. In the show, the character is named Darrien O’Connor and played by the actor Tom Goodman-Hill . After misguided internet sleuths incorrectly pointed to theater director Sean Foley as the inspiration for Darrien, Gadd asked viewers to stop their investigations.

“People I love, have worked with, and admire (including Sean Foley) are unfairly getting caught up in speculation,” Gadd wrote via his Instagram Story earlier this month. “Please don’t speculate on who any of the real life people could be. That’s not the point of our show.”

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Europapa or Baby Lasagna? Contestants to look out for at Eurovision 2024

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Grape-accented zendaya leads garden-themed looks at met gala.

Zendaya wore a dark blue gown adorned with grape clusters and Lana Del Rey donned a dramatic headpiece with tree branches, two of the head-turning looks at this year's garden-themed Met Gala on Monday.

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Today’s ‘quordle’ hints and answers for monday, may 6.

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POLAND - 2023/08/01: In this photo illustration, a Quordle logo seen displayed on a smartphone. ... [+] (Photo Illustration by Mateusz Slodkowski/SOPA Images/LightRocket via Getty Images)

Looking for Sunday’s Quordle hints and answers? You can find them here:

Hey, folks! Hints and the answers for today’s Quordle words are just ahead.

How To Play Quordle

For any newcomers joining us, here’s how to play Quordle : Just start typing in words. You have four five-letter words to guess and nine attempts to find them all. The catch is that you play all four words simultaneously.

If you get a letter in the right place for any of the four words, it will light up in green. If a word contains a letter from one of your guesses but it’s in the wrong place, it will appear in yellow. You could always check out the practice games before taking on the daily puzzle.

Here are some hints for today’s Quordle game, followed by the answers:

Apple iPhone 16 New Design And Performance Upgrades Revealed In Leak

Apple confirms widespread iphone changes coming to millions of ipads, 299 tesla model 3 too good lease makes it competitive with honda civic despite lower price, what are today’s quordle hints.

• Word 1 (top left) hint — spoil clean clothing with a dirty mark
• Word 2 (top right) hint — Robin Williams’ character in Aladdin
• Word 3 (bottom left) hint — a stage of a video game
• Word 4 (bottom right) hint — a race divided into stages that sees one runner pass a baton to the next
• One of the words has a pair of repeated letters. Another word has two pairs of repeated letters
• Today’s words start with S, G, L and R

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Today’s words are...

That’s all there is to it for today’s Quordle clues and answers. Be sure to check my blog for hints and the solution for Tuesday’s game if you need them.

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Peter Andre and wife Emily MacDonagh finally reveal baby daughter's name

The 51-year-old Mysterious Girl singer and TV star confirms his wife chose the name for their newest arrival in a post on Instagram this morning.

Thursday 2 May 2024 12:35, UK

Peter Andre and his wife Emily MacDonagh have announced they have named their new baby girl Arabella Rose Andrea.

The singer and TV star confirmed his wife chose the name for their newest arrival in a post on Instagram this morning - a month after she was born.

He wrote: "I think you've chosen a beautiful name @dr_emily_official. Arabella Rose Andrea.

"I LOVE it. and I love her... and you of course."

The post included two images - one of Arabella sleeping while wrapped in a white blanket, and another of her tiny feet.

"A name I suggested to you both. Such a beautiful name. Little Bella. Perfect," wrote one person in response.

Andre has four other children. They include seven-year-old son, Theo, and daughter, Amelia, 10, whom he shares with MacDonagh.

He also has an 18-year-old son Junior and daughter Princess, 16 - whom he shares with his ex-wife, Katie Price .

Keep up with all the latest news from the UK and around the world by following Sky News

Andre married MacDonagh, a doctor, in 2015 and the couple welcomed their third child on 2 April.

They had spoken about struggling to decide on a name at the time.

Announcing his daughter's arrival last month, Andre wrote on Instagram: "Baby has been spoilt with cuddles from Junior, Princess, Amelia and Theo who are all in love with their new little sister. As parents, we couldn't be happier.

"Only thing is... She has no name yet. Help!"

Andre asked fans in the caption if they had any ideas and hundreds of people responded.

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Weeks later he updated followers, writing: "The love I have for our baby is one thing. The love I have for Emily is another love altogether.

"What an incredible mum she is and what a truly beautiful gift she has given us. We all love bubba so much. And she STILL has no name."

The couple announced their pregnancy news in October last year.

Read more from Sky News: Olivia Rodrigo Manchester gigs cancelled Beyonce among celebs added to dictionary

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Andre is known for hits including Mysterious Girl, Flava and Insania in the 1990s and 2000s, as well as appearances on I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! And Strictly Come Dancing.

Discussing nostalgia and looking back at changes in the music industry, Andre told Sky News in an interview this week : "If you look at the 80s, specifically, superstars were superstars.

"If Madonna was on the radio, you knew it was Madonna. If Michael Jackson came on the radio, you knew it was Michael Jackson.

"Now there are great songs out there, but you don't know who's who unless you're in with what's going on on social media. So, it's a different time."

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