what is a personal memoir essay

How to Write a Memoir: Examples and a Step-by-Step Guide

Zining Mok  |  January 29, 2024  |  26 Comments

If you’ve thought about putting your life to the page, you may have wondered how to write a memoir. We start the road to writing a memoir when we realize that a story in our lives demands to be told. As Maya Angelou once wrote, “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”

How to write a memoir? At first glance, it looks easy enough—easier, in any case, than writing fiction. After all, there is no need to make up a story or characters, and the protagonist is none other than you.

Still, memoir writing carries its own unique challenges, as well as unique possibilities that only come from telling your own true story. Let’s dive into how to write a memoir by looking closely at the craft of memoir writing, starting with a key question: exactly what is a memoir?

How to Write a Memoir: Contents

What is a Memoir?

• Memoir vs Autobiography

Memoir Examples

Short memoir examples.

• How to Write a Memoir: A Step-by-Step Guide

A memoir is a branch of creative nonfiction , a genre defined by the writer Lee Gutkind as “true stories, well told.” The etymology of the word “memoir,” which comes to us from the French, tells us of the human urge to put experience to paper, to remember. Indeed, a memoir is “ something written to be kept in mind .”

A memoir is defined by Lee Gutkind as “true stories, well told.”

For a piece of writing to be called a memoir, it has to be:

• Nonfictional
• Based on the raw material of your life and your memories
• Written from your personal perspective

At this point, memoirs are beginning to sound an awful lot like autobiographies. However, a quick comparison of Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love , and The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin , for example, tells us that memoirs and autobiographies could not be more distinct.

Next, let’s look at the characteristics of a memoir and what sets memoirs and autobiographies apart. Discussing memoir vs. autobiography will not only reveal crucial insights into the process of writing a memoir, but also help us to refine our answer to the question, “What is a memoir?”

Memoir vs. Autobiography

While both use personal life as writing material, there are five key differences between memoir and autobiography:

1. Structure

Since autobiographies tell the comprehensive story of one’s life, they are more or less chronological. writing a memoir, however, involves carefully curating a list of personal experiences to serve a larger idea or story, such as grief, coming-of-age, and self-discovery. As such, memoirs do not have to unfold in chronological order.

While autobiographies attempt to provide a comprehensive account, memoirs focus only on specific periods in the writer’s life. The difference between autobiographies and memoirs can be likened to that between a CV and a one-page resume, which includes only select experiences.

The difference between autobiographies and memoirs can be likened to that between a CV and a one-page resume, which includes only select experiences.

Autobiographies prioritize events; memoirs prioritize the writer’s personal experience of those events. Experience includes not just the event you might have undergone, but also your feelings, thoughts, and reflections. Memoir’s insistence on experience allows the writer to go beyond the expectations of formal writing. This means that memoirists can also use fiction-writing techniques , such as scene-setting and dialogue , to capture their stories with flair.

4. Philosophy

Another key difference between the two genres stems from the autobiography’s emphasis on facts and the memoir’s reliance on memory. Due to memory’s unreliability, memoirs ask the reader to focus less on facts and more on emotional truth. In addition, memoir writers often work the fallibility of memory into the narrative itself by directly questioning the accuracy of their own memories.

Memoirs ask the reader to focus less on facts and more on emotional truth.

5. Audience

While readers pick up autobiographies to learn about prominent individuals, they read memoirs to experience a story built around specific themes . Memoirs, as such, tend to be more relatable, personal, and intimate. Really, what this means is that memoirs can be written by anybody!

Ready to be inspired yet? Let’s now turn to some memoir examples that have received widespread recognition and captured our imaginations!

If you’re looking to lose yourself in a book, the following memoir examples are great places to begin:

• The Year of Magical Thinking , which chronicles Joan Didion’s year of mourning her husband’s death, is certainly one of the most powerful books on grief. Written in two short months, Didion’s prose is urgent yet lucid, compelling from the first page to the last. A few years later, the writer would publish Blue Nights , another devastating account of grief, only this time she would be mourning her daughter.
• Patti Smith’s Just Kids is a classic coming-of-age memoir that follows the author’s move to New York and her romance and friendship with the artist Robert Maplethorpe. In its pages, Smith captures the energy of downtown New York in the late sixties and seventies effortlessly.
• When Breath Becomes Air begins when Paul Kalanithi, a young neurosurgeon, is diagnosed with terminal cancer. Exquisite and poignant, this memoir grapples with some of the most difficult human experiences, including fatherhood, mortality, and the search for meaning.
• A memoir of relationship abuse, Carmen Maria Machado’s In the Dream House is candid and innovative in form. Machado writes about thorny and turbulent subjects with clarity, even wit. While intensely personal, In the Dream House is also one of most insightful pieces of cultural criticism.
• Twenty-five years after leaving for Canada, Michael Ondaatje returns to his native Sri Lanka to sort out his family’s past. The result is Running in the Family , the writer’s dazzling attempt to reconstruct fragments of experiences and family legends into a portrait of his parents’ and grandparents’ lives. (Importantly, Running in the Family was sold to readers as a fictional memoir; its explicit acknowledgement of fictionalization prevented it from encountering the kind of backlash that James Frey would receive for fabricating key facts in A Million Little Pieces , which he had sold as a memoir . )
• Of the many memoirs published in recent years, Tara Westover’s Educated is perhaps one of the most internationally-recognized. A story about the struggle for self-determination, Educated recounts the writer’s childhood in a survivalist family and her subsequent attempts to make a life for herself. All in all, powerful, thought-provoking, and near impossible to put down.

While book-length memoirs are engaging reads, the prospect of writing a whole book can be intimidating. Fortunately, there are plenty of short, essay-length memoir examples that are just as compelling.

While memoirists often write book-length works, you might also consider writing a memoir that’s essay-length. Here are some short memoir examples that tell complete, lived stories, in far fewer words:

• “ The Book of My Life ” offers a portrait of a professor that the writer, Aleksandar Hemon, once had as a child in communist Sarajevo. This memoir was collected into Hemon’s The Book of My Lives , a collection of essays about the writer’s personal history in wartime Yugoslavia and subsequent move to the US.
• “The first time I cheated on my husband, my mother had been dead for exactly one week.” So begins Cheryl Strayed’s “ The Love of My Life ,” an essay that the writer eventually expanded into the best-selling memoir, Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail .
• In “ What We Hunger For ,” Roxane Gay weaves personal experience and a discussion of The Hunger Games into a powerful meditation on strength, trauma, and hope. “What We Hunger For” can also be found in Gay’s essay collection, Bad Feminist .
• A humorous memoir structured around David Sedaris and his family’s memories of pets, “ The Youth in Asia ” is ultimately a story about grief, mortality and loss. This essay is excerpted from the memoir Me Talk Pretty One Day , and a recorded version can be found here .

So far, we’ve 1) answered the question “What is a memoir?” 2) discussed differences between memoirs vs. autobiographies, 3) taken a closer look at book- and essay-length memoir examples. Next, we’ll turn the question of how to write a memoir.

How to Write a Memoir: A-Step-by-Step Guide

1. how to write a memoir: generate memoir ideas.

how to start a memoir? As with anything, starting is the hardest. If you’ve yet to decide what to write about, check out the “ I Remember ” writing prompt. Inspired by Joe Brainard’s memoir I Remember , this prompt is a great way to generate a list of memories. From there, choose one memory that feels the most emotionally charged and begin writing your memoir. It’s that simple! If you’re in need of more prompts, our Facebook group is also a great resource.

2. How to Write a Memoir: Begin drafting

My most effective advice is to resist the urge to start from “the beginning.” Instead, begin with the event that you can’t stop thinking about, or with the detail that, for some reason, just sticks. The key to drafting is gaining momentum . Beginning with an emotionally charged event or detail gives us the drive we need to start writing.

3. How to Write a Memoir: Aim for a “ shitty first draft ”

Now that you have momentum, maintain it. Attempting to perfect your language as you draft makes it difficult to maintain our impulses to write. It can also create self-doubt and writers’ block. Remember that most, if not all, writers, no matter how famous, write shitty first drafts.

Attempting to perfect your language as you draft makes it difficult to maintain our impulses to write.

4. How to Write a Memoir: Set your draft aside

Once you have a first draft, set it aside and fight the urge to read it for at least a week. Stephen King recommends sticking first drafts in your drawer for at least six weeks. This period allows writers to develop the critical distance we need to revise and edit the draft that we’ve worked so hard to write.

5. How to Write a Memoir: Reread your draft

While reading your draft, note what works and what doesn’t, then make a revision plan. While rereading, ask yourself:

• What’s underdeveloped, and what’s superfluous.
• Does the structure work?
• What story are you telling?

6. How to Write a Memoir: Revise your memoir and repeat steps 4 & 5 until satisfied

Every piece of good writing is the product of a series of rigorous revisions. Depending on what kind of writer you are and how you define a draft,” you may need three, seven, or perhaps even ten drafts. There’s no “magic number” of drafts to aim for, so trust your intuition. Many writers say that a story is never, truly done; there only comes a point when they’re finished with it. If you find yourself stuck in the revision process, get a fresh pair of eyes to look at your writing.

7. How to Write a Memoir: Edit, edit, edit!

Once you’re satisfied with the story, begin to edit the finer things (e.g. language, metaphor , and details). Clean up your word choice and omit needless words , and check to make sure you haven’t made any of these common writing mistakes . Be sure to also know the difference between revising and editing —you’ll be doing both. Then, once your memoir is ready, send it out !

Learn How to Write a Memoir at Writers.com

Writing a memoir for the first time can be intimidating. But, keep in mind that anyone can learn how to write a memoir. Trust the value of your own experiences: it’s not about the stories you tell, but how you tell them. Most importantly, don’t give up!

Anyone can learn how to write a memoir.

If you’re looking for additional feedback, as well as additional instruction on how to write a memoir, check out our schedule of nonfiction classes . Now, get started writing your memoir!

26 Comments

Thank you for this website. It’s very engaging. I have been writing a memoir for over three years, somewhat haphazardly, based on the first half of my life and its encounters with ignorance (religious restrictions, alcohol, and inability to reach out for help). Three cities were involved: Boston as a youngster growing up and going to college, then Washington DC and Chicago North Shore as a married woman with four children. I am satisfied with some chapters and not with others. Editing exposes repetition and hopefully discards boring excess. Reaching for something better is always worth the struggle. I am 90, continue to be a recital pianist, a portrait painter, and a writer. Hubby has been dead for nine years. Together we lept a few of life’s chasms and I still miss him. But so far, my occupations keep my brain working fairly well, especially since I don’t smoke or drink (for the past 50 years).

Hi Mary Ellen,

It sounds like a fantastic life for a memoir! Thank you for sharing, and best of luck finishing your book. Let us know when it’s published!

Best, The writers.com Team

Hello Mary Ellen,

I am contacting you because your last name (Lavelle) is my middle name!

Being interested in genealogy I have learned that this was my great grandfathers wife’s name (Mary Lavelle), and that her family emigrated here about 1850 from County Mayo, Ireland. That is also where my fathers family came from.

Is your family background similar?

Hope to hear back from you.

Richard Lavelle Bourke

Hi Mary Ellen: Have you finished your memoir yet? I just came across your post and am seriously impressed that you are still writing. I discovered it again at age 77 and don’t know what I would do with myself if I couldn’t write. All the best to you!! Sharon [email protected]

I am up to my eyeballs with a research project and report for a non-profit. And some paid research for an international organization. But as today is my 90th birthday, it is time to retire and write a memoir.

So I would like to join a list to keep track of future courses related to memoir / creative non-fiction writing.

Hi Frederick,

Happy birthday! And happy retirement as well. I’ve added your name and email to our reminder list for memoir courses–when we post one on our calendar, we’ll send you an email.

We’ll be posting more memoir courses in the near future, likely for the months of January and February 2022. We hope to see you in one!

Very interesting and informative, I am writing memoirs from my long often adventurous and well travelled life, have had one very short story published. Your advice on several topics will be extremely helpful. I write under my schoolboy nickname Barnaby Rudge.

[…] How to Write a Memoir: Examples and a Step-by-Step Guide […]

I am writing my memoir from my memory when I was 5 years old and now having left my birthplace I left after graduation as a doctor I moved to UK where I have been living. In between I have spent 1 year in Canada during my training year as paediatrician. I also spent nearly 2 years with British Army in the hospital as paediatrician in Germany. I moved back to UK to work as specialist paediatrician in a very busy general hospital outside London for the next 22 years. Then I retired from NHS in 2012. I worked another 5 years in Canada until 2018. I am fully retired now

I have the whole convoluted story of my loss and horrid aftermath in my head (and heart) but have no clue WHERE, in my story to begin. In the middle of the tragedy? What led up to it? Where my life is now, post-loss, and then write back and forth? Any suggestions?

My friend Laura who referred me to this site said “Start”! I say to you “Start”!

Hi Dee, that has been a challenge for me.i dont know where to start?

What was the most painful? Embarrassing? Delicious? Unexpected? Who helped you? Who hurt you? Pick one story and let that lead you to others.

I really enjoyed this writing about memoir. I ve just finished my own about my journey out of my city then out of my country to Egypt to study, Never Say Can’t, God Can Do It. Infact memoir writing helps to live the life you are writing about again and to appreciate good people you came across during the journey. Many thanks for sharing what memoir is about.

I am a survivor of gun violence, having witnessed my adult son being shot 13 times by police in 2014. I have struggled with writing my memoir because I have a grandson who was 18-months old at the time of the tragedy and was also present, as was his biological mother and other family members. We all struggle with PTSD because of this atrocity. My grandson’s biological mother was instrumental in what happened and I am struggling to write the story in such a way as to not cast blame – thus my dilemma in writing the memoir. My grandson was later adopted by a local family in an open adoption and is still a big part of my life. I have considered just writing it and waiting until my grandson is old enough to understand all the family dynamics that were involved. Any advice on how I might handle this challenge in writing would be much appreciated.

I decided to use a ghost writer, and I’m only part way in the process and it’s worth every penny!

Hi. I am 44 years old and have had a roller coaster life .. right as a young kid seeing his father struggle to financial hassles, facing legal battles at a young age and then health issues leading to a recent kidney transplant. I have been working on writing a memoir sharing my life story and titled it “A memoir of growth and gratitude” Is it a good idea to write a memoir and share my story with the world?

Thank you… this was very helpful. I’m writing about the troubling issues of my mental health, and how my life was seriously impacted by that. I am 68 years old.

[…] Writers.com: How to Write a Memoir […]

[…] Writers.com: “How to Write a Memoir” […]

I am so grateful that I found this site! I am inspired and encouraged to start my memoir because of the site’s content and the brave people that have posted in the comments.

Finding this site is going into my gratitude journey 🙂

We’re grateful you found us too, Nichol! 🙂

Firstly, I would like to thank you for all the info pertaining to memoirs. I believe am on the right track, am at the editing stage and really have to use an extra pair of eyes. I’m more motivated now to push it out and complete it. Thanks for the tips it was very helpful, I have a little more confidence it seeing the completion.

Well, I’m super excited to begin my memoir. It’s hard trying to rely on memories alone, but I’m going to give it a shot!

Thanks to everyone who posted comments, all of which have inspired me to get on it.

Best of luck to everyone! Jody V.

I was thrilled to find this material on How to Write A Memoir. When I briefly told someone about some of my past experiences and how I came to the United States in the company of my younger brother in a program with a curious name, I was encouraged by that person and others to write my life history.

Based on the name of that curious program through which our parents sent us to the United States so we could leave the place of our birth, and be away from potentially difficult situations in our country.

As I began to write my history I took as much time as possible to describe all the different steps that were taken. At this time – I have been working on this project for 5 years and am still moving ahead. The information I received through your material has further encouraged me to move along. I am very pleased to have found this important material. Thank you!

Wow! This is such an informative post packed with tangible guidance. I poured my heart into a book. I’ve been a professional creative for years to include as a writer, mainly in the ad game and content. No editor. I wasn’t trying to make it as an author. Looking back, I think it’s all the stuff I needed to say. Therapy. Which does not, in and of itself, make for a coherent book. The level of writing garnering praise, but the book itself was a hot mess. So, this is helpful. I really put myself out there, which I’ve done in many areas, but the crickets response really got to me this time. I bought “Educated” as you recommended. Do you have any blog posts on memoirs that have something to say to the world, finding that “something” to say? It feels like that’s theme, but perhaps something more granular. Thanks for this fantastic post. If I had the moola, I would sign up for a class. Your time is and effort is appreciated. Typos likely on comments! LOL

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Write a Great Memoir: How to Start (and Actually Finish) Your First Draft

by Joe Bunting | 1 comment

Free Book Planning Course!  Sign up for our 3-part book planning course and make your book writing easy . It expires soon, though, so don’t wait.  Sign up here before the deadline!

When I first started writing my memoir, Crowdsourcing Paris , about a real-life adventure I experienced with my wife and ten-month-old son, I thought it was going to be easy.

After all, by that point in my career, I had already written four books, two of which became bestsellers. I’ve got this, I thought. Simple.

It wasn’t. By the time Crowdsourcing Paris was published and became a #1 New Release on Amazon, it was more than five years later. During that time, I made just about every mistake, but I also learned a process that will reliably help anyone to start and finish writing a great memoir.

My memoir, Crowdsourcing Paris , as a #1 New Release on Amazon!

In this guide, I want to talk about how you can start writing your memoir, how you can actually finish it, and how you can make sure it’s good .

If you read this article from start to finish, it will save you hundreds of hours and result in a much better finished memoir.

Hot tip : Throughout this guide, I will be referencing my memoir Crowdsourcing Paris as an example. To get the most out of this guide and the memoir writing process in general, get a copy of the book to use as an example. Order your copy here »

But Wait! What Is a Memoir? (Memoir Definition)

How do you know if you're writing a memoir? Here's a quick memoir definition:

A memoir is a book length account or autobiography about a real life situation or event. It usually includes a pivotal experience in your life journey.

A key point to make is that memoir is a  true story . You don't have to get every piece of dialogue perfect, but you do have to try to tell the personal story or experience as best as you remember.

If you're looking to fictionalize your real life account you're writing a novel, not a memoir (and specifically a roman à clef novel ).

For more on the difference between a novel and a memoir, check out this coaching video:

How to Get Started With Your Memoir: 10 Steps Before You Start Writing

This guide is broken into sections: what to do before you start writing and how to write your first draft.

When most people decide to write a memoir, they just start writing. They write about the first life experience they can think of.

That’s sort of what I did too. I just started writing about my trip to Paris, beginning with how I first decided to go as a way to become a “real writer.” It turned out to be the biggest mistake I made.

If you want to finish your memoir, and even more, write a good memoir, just starting with the first memory you can think of will make things much harder for you.

Instead, get started with a memoir plan.

What’s a memoir plan? There are ten elements. Let’s break it down.

Get the memoir plan in a downloadable worksheet. Click to download your memoir plan »

1. Write Your Memoir Premise in One Sentence

The first part of a memoir plan is your premise. A premise is a one-sentence summary of your book idea.

You might be wondering, how can I summarize my entire life in a single sentence?

The answer is, you can’t. Memoir isn’t a full autobiography. It’s not meant to be a historical account of your entire life story. Instead, it should share one specific situation and what you learned from that situation.

Every memoir premise should contain three things:

• A Character. For your memoir, that character will always be you . For the purposes of your premise, though, it’s a good idea to practice thinking of yourself as the main character of your story. So describe yourself in third person and use one descriptive adjective, e.g. a cautious writer.
• A Situation. Memoirs are about a specific event, situation, or experience. For example, Marion Roach Smith’s bestselling memoir was about the discovery that her mother had Alzheimer’s, which at the time was a fairly unknown illness. My memoir, Crowdsourcing Paris , begins on the first day of my trip to Paris and ends on the day I left. You can’t write about everything, at least in this book. But you can write about one thing well, and save all the other ideas for the next book.
• A Lesson. What life lesson did you learn from this situation? How did your life change inexorably after going through this situation? Again, here you can’t write about everything you’ve ever learned. Choose ONE life lesson or emotional truth and focus on it.

Want to see how a premise actually looks? Here’s an example from my memoir Crowdsourcing Paris :

When a Cautious Writer is forced by his audience to do uncomfortable adventures in Paris he learns the best stories come when you get out of your comfort zone.

One thing to note: a premise is not a book description. My book description, which you can see here , is totally different from the premise. It’s more suspenseful and also less detailed in some ways. That’s because the purpose of a premise isn’t to sell books.

What is the premise of your memoir? Share it in the comments below!

2. Set a Deadline to Finish Your First Draft

Or if you’ve already finished a draft, set a deadline to finish your next draft.

This is crucial to do now , before you do anything else. Why? Because there are parts of the memoir plan that you can spend months, even years on. But while planning is helpful, it can easily become a distraction if you don’t get to the writing part of the process.

That’s why you want to put a time limit on your planning by setting a deadline.

How long should the deadline be?

Stephen King says you should write a first draft in no longer than a season. So ninety days.

In my 100 Day Book program, we’ve helped hundreds of memoir writers finish their book in just 100 days. To me, that’s a good amount of time to finish a first draft.

However, I wouldn’t take any longer than 100 days. Writing a book requires a level of focus that’s difficult to achieve over a long period of time. If you set your deadline for longer than 100 days, you might never finish.

Also set weekly milestones.

In addition to your final deadline, I recommend breaking up the writing process into weekly milestones.

If you’re going to write a 65,000-word memoir over 100 days, let’s say, then divide 65,000 by the number of weeks (about 14) to get your weekly word count goal: about 4,600 words per week.

That will give you a sense of how much progress you’re making each week, so you won’t be in a huge rush to finish right at the end of your deadline. After all, no one can pull an all-nighter and finish a book! Create a writing habit that will enable you to actually finish your book.

Keep track of your word count deadlines.

By the way, this is one reason I love Scrivener , my favorite book writing software , because it allows you to set a target deadline and word count. Then Scrivener automatically calculates how much you need to write every day to reach your deadline.

It’s a great way to keep track of your deadline and how much more you have to write. Check out my review of Scrivener to learn more.

3. Create Consequences to Make Quitting Hard

I’ve learned from experience that a deadline alone isn’t enough. You also have to give your deadline teeth .

Writing a book is hard. To make sure that you show up to the page and do the work you need to finish, you need to make it harder to not write.

How? By creating consequences.

I learned this from a friend of mine, writer and book marketing expert Tim Grahl .

“If you really want to finish your book,” he told me, “write a check for $1,000 to a charity you hate. Then give that check to a friend with instructions to send it if you don’t hit your deadline.”

“I don’t need to do that,” I told him. “I’m a pro. I have discipline.” But a month later, after I still hadn’t made any progress on my memoir, I finally decided to take his advice.

This was during the 2016 U.S. presidential election. So I wrote a $1,000 check to the presidential candidate that I most disliked (who shall remain nameless!), and gave it to a friend with instructions to send the check if I didn’t hit my final deadline.

I also created smaller consequences for the weekly deadlines, which I highly recommend. Here’s how it works:

Consequence #1 : Small consequence, preferably related to a guilty pleasure that might keep you from writing. For example, giving up a game on your phone or watching TV until you finish your book.

Consequence #2 : Giving up a guilty pleasure. For example, giving up ice cream, soda, or alcohol until you finish your book.

Consequence #3 : Send the $1,000 check to the charity you hate.

Each of these would happen if I missed three weekly deadlines. If I missed the final deadline, then just the $1,000 check would get sent.

After I put in each of these consequences, I was the most focused and productive I’ve ever been in my life. I finished my book in just nine weeks and never missed a deadline.

If you actually want to finish your memoir, give this process a try. I think you’ll be surprised by how well it works for you.

4. Decide What Kind of Story You’re Telling

Now that you’ve set your deadline, start thinking about what kind of book you’re writing. What is your story really about?

“Memoir is about something you know after something you’ve been through,” says Marion Roach Smith, author of The Memoir Project .

I think there are seven types of stories that most memoirs are about.

• Coming of Age. A story about a young person finding their place in the world. A great example is 7 Story Mountain  by Thomas Merton.
• Education. An education story , according to Kim Kessler and Story Grid, is about a naive character who, through the course of the story, comes to a bigger understanding of the world that gives meaning to their existing life. My memoir, Crowdsourcing Paris , is a great example of an education memoir.
• Love. A love story is about a romantic relationship, either the story of a breakup or of two characters coming together. Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert is a great example of a love story memoir, as it tells the story of her divorce and then re-discovering herself and love as she travels the world.
• Adventure/Action. All adventure stories are about life and death situations. Also, most travel memoirs are adventure stories. Wild by Cheryl Strayed is a great example, and Crowdsourcing Paris is also an adventure story. (You can apply the principles from our How to Write Adventure guide here , too!)
• Performance. Performance memoirs are about a big competition or a competitive pursuit. Julie and Julia , Julie Powell’s memoir about cooking her way through Julia Child’s recipes, is a good example of a performance memoir. Outlaw Platoon , about the longest-serving Ranger platoon in Afghanistan, is another great performance story.
• Thriller. Memoirs about abuse or even an illness could fall into the crime, horror, or thriller arena. (Our full guide on How to Write a Thriller is here .)
• Society. What is wrong with society? And how can you rebel against the status quo? Society stories are very common as memoirs. I would also argue that most humor memoirs are society stories, since they talk about one person’s funny, transgressive view on society. Anything by David Sedaris, for example, is a society memoir.

For more on all of these genres, check out Story Grid’s article How to Use Story Grid to Write a Memoir .

Three Stories

Note that I included my memoir in two categories. That’s because most books, including memoirs, are actually a combination of three stories. You have:

• An external story. For example, Crowdsourcing Paris is an adventure story.
• An internal story . As I said, Crowdsourcing Paris is an education story.
• A subplot . Usually the subplot is another external story, in my case, a love story.

What three stories are you telling in your memoir?

5. Visualize Your Intention

One of the things that I’ve learned as I’ve coached hundreds of writers to finish their books is that if you visualize the following you are much more likely to follow through and accomplish your writing goals:

• Where you're going to write
• When you're going to write
• How much you're going to write

Here I want you to actively visualize yourself at your favorite writing spot accomplishing the word count goal that you set in step two.

For example, when I was writing Crowdsourcing Paris , I would imagine myself sitting at this one café that was eight doors down from my office. I liked it because it had a little bit of a French feel. Then I would imagine myself there from eight in the morning until about ten.

Finally, I would actively visualize myself watching the word count tracker go from 999 to 1,000 words, which was my goal every day. Just that process of imagining my intention was so helpful.

What is your intention? Where, when, and how much will you write? Imagine yourself actually sitting there in the place you’re going to write your memoir.

6. Who Will Be On Your Team?

No one can write a book alone. I learned this the hard way, and the result was that it took me five years to finish my memoir.

For every other book that I had written, I had other people holding me accountable. Without my team, I know that I would never have written those books. But when I tried to write my memoir, I thought, I can do this on my own. I don’t need accountability, encouragement, and support. I’ve got this.

To figure out who you need to help you finish your memoir, create three different lists of people:

• Other writers. These are people who you can process, with who know the process of writing a book. Some will be a little bit ahead of you, so that when you get stuck, they can encourage you and say, “I’ve been there. You’re going to get through it. Keep working.”
• Readers. Or if you don’t have readers, friends and family. These will be the people who give you feedback on your finished book before it’s published, e.g. beta readers.
• Professional editors. But you also need professional feedback. I recommend listing two different editors here, a content editor to give feedback on the book as a whole (for example, I recommend a Write Practice Certified Coach), and a proofreader or line editor to help polish the final draft. (Having professional editing software is smart too. We like ProWritingAid. Check out our ProWritingAid review .)

Just remember: it takes a team to finish a book. Don’t try to do it on your own.

And if you don’t have relationships with other writers who can be on your team, check out The Write Practice Pro. This is the community I post my writing in to get feedback. Many of my best writing friends came directly from this community. You can learn more about The Write Practice Pro here .

7. What Other Books Will Inspire You?

“Books are made from books,” said Cormac McCarthy. Great writers learn how to write great books by reading other great books, and so should you.

I recommend finding three to five other memoirs that can inspire you during the writing process.

I recommend two criteria for the books you choose:

• Commercially successful. If you want your book to be commercially successful, choose other books that have done well in the marketplace.
• Similar story type. Try to find books that are the same story type that you learned in step four.

For my memoir, I had four main sources of inspiration.

Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert; The Innocents Abroad by Mark Twain; A Moveable Feast by Ernest Hemingway; and Midnight in Paris , the film by Woody Allen.

I referred back to these sources all the time. For example, when I was stuck on the climactic scene in the memoir, I watched one scene in A Midnight in Paris twenty times until I could quote the dialogue. I still didn’t come up with the solution until the next day, but understanding how other writers solved the problems I was facing helped me figure out my own solutions for my story.

8. Who Is Your Reader Avatar?

Who is your book going to be for? Or who is the one person you’ll think of when you write your book? When the writing gets hard and you want to quit, who will be most disappointed if you never finish your book?

I learned this idea from J.R.R. Tolkien, who wrote his novel The Hobbit for his three boys as a bedtime story. Every day he would work on his pages, and every night he would go home and read them to his sons. And this gave him an amazing way to get feedback. He knew whether they laughed at one part or got bored at another.

This helped him make his story better, but I also imagine it gave him a tremendous amount of motivation.

This Can Be You, Sort Of

I don’t think your reader avatar should be you. When it comes to your own writing, you are the least objective person.

There’s one caveat: you can be your own reader avatar IF you’re writing to a version of yourself at a different time. For example, I have friends who have imagined they were writing to a younger version of themselves.

Who will you write your memoir for?

9. Publishing and Marketing

How will you publish your book? Will you go the traditional route or will you self-publish? Who is your target market (check your reader avatar for help)? What will you do to promote and market your book? Do you have an author website ?

It might be strange to start planning for the publishing and marketing of your book before you ever start writing it, but what I’ve discovered is that when you think through the entire writing process, from the initial idea all the way through the publishing and marketing process, you are much more likely to finish your book.

In fact, in my 100 Day Book program, I found that people who finished this planning process were 52 percent more likely to finish their book.

Spend some time thinking about your publishing and marketing plans. Just thinking about it will help you when you start writing.

Start Building Your Audience Before You Need It

In the current publishing climate, most memoir agents and publishers want you to have some kind of relationship with an audience before they will consider your book.

Start building an audience before you need it. The first step to building an audience, and the first step to publishing in general, is building an author website. If you don’t have a website yet, you can find our full author website guide here .

(Building a website doesn’t have to be intimidating or time-consuming if you have the right guide.)

10. Outline Your Memoir

The final step of the planning process is your memoir outline . This could be the subject of a whole article itself. Here, I’ve learned so much from Story Grid, but if you don’t have time to read the book and listen to over 100 podcast episodes, here’s a quick and dirty process for you.

But First, for the Pantsers

There are two types of writers: the plotters and the pansters . Plotters like to outline. Pantsers think outlining crushes their creative freedom and hate it.

If you identify with the pantsers, that’s okay. Don’t worry too much about this step. I would still recommend writing something in this section of your memoir plan, even if you only know a few moments that will happen in the book, even recording a series of events might help as you plan.

And for you plotters, outline to your heart’s content, as long as you’ve already set your deadline!

Outlining Tips

When you’re ready to start outlining, here are a few tips:

• Begin by writing down all the big moments in your life that line up with your premise. Your premise is the foundation of your story. Anything outside of that premise should be cut.
• S eparate your life events into three acts. One of the most common story structures in writing is the three-act story structure. Act 1 should contain about 25 percent of your story, Act 2 about 50 percent of your story, and Act 3 about 25 percent.
• Act 1 should begin as late into the story as possible. In Crowdsourcing Paris , like most travel memoirs, I began the story the day I arrived in Paris.
• Use flashbacks, but carefully. Since I began Crowdsourcing Paris so late into the action, I used flashbacks to provide some details about what happened to lead up to the trip. Flashbacks can be overused, though, so only include full scenes and don’t info dump with flashbacks.
• Start big. The first scene in your book should be a good representation of what your book is about. So if you’re writing an adventure story (see Step 4), then you should have a life or death moment as the first scene. If you’re writing a love story, you should have a moment of love or love lost.
• End Act 1 with a decision. It is you, and specifically your decisions , that drive the action of your memoir. So what important decision did you make that will drive us into Act 2?
• Start Act 2 with your subplot. In Step 4, I said most books are made up of three stories. Your subplot is an important part of your book, and in most great stories, your subplot begins in Act 2.
• Act 2 begins with a period of “fun and games.” Save the Cat , one of my favorite books for writers, says that after the tension you built with the big decision in Act 1, the first few scenes in Act 2 should be fun and feel good, with things going relatively well for the protagonist.
• Center your second act on the “all is lost” moment. Great stories are about a character who comes to the end of him or herself. The all is lost moment is my favorite to write, because it’s where the character (in this case you ) has the most opportunity to grow. What is YOUR “all is lost” moment?
• Act 3 contains your final climactic moment. For Crowdsourcing Paris , this was the moment when I thought I was going to die. In a love story memoir, it might be when you finally work things out and commit to your partner.
• Act 3 is also where you show the big lesson of the memoir. Emphasis on show. Back in Step 1, you identified the lesson of your memoir. Act 3 is when you finally demonstrate what you’ve learned throughout the memoir in one major event.
• A tip for the final scene: end your memoir with the subplot. This gives a sense of completion to your story and works as a great final moment.

Use the tips above to create a rough outline of your memoir. Keep in mind, when you start writing, things might completely change. That’s okay! The point with your plan isn’t to be perfect. It’s to think through your story from beginning to end so that you’ll be prepared when you get to that point in the writing process.

Want to make this process as easy as possible? Get the memoir plan in a downloadable worksheet. Click to download your memoir plan »

That’s the end of the planning stage of this guide. Now let’s talk about how to write your first draft.

How to Write the First Draft of Your Memoir

If you’ve followed the steps above to create a memoir plan, you’ve done the important work. Writing a memoir, like writing any book, is hard. But it will actually be harder to not be successful if you’ve followed all the steps in the memoir plan.

But once you’ve created the “perfect” plan, it’s time to do the dirty work of writing a first draft.

In part two of our guide, you’ll learn how to write and finish a first draft.

1. Forget Perfection and Write Badly.

First drafts are messy. In fact, Anne Lamott calls them “shitty first drafts” because they are almost always terrible.

Even though I know that, though, any time I’m working on a new writing project, I still get it into my head that my first draft should be a masterpiece.

It usually takes me staring at a blank screen for a few hours before I admit defeat and just start writing.

If you’re reading this, don’t do that! Instead, start by writing badly.

Besides, when you’ve done the hard planning work, what you write will probably be a lot better than you think.

2. Willpower Doesn’t Work. Neither Does Inspiration. Instead, Use the “3 Minute Timer Trick.”

My biggest mistake when I began Crowdsourcing Paris was to think I had the willpower I needed as a professional writer and author of four books to finish the book on my own. Even worse, I thought I would be so inspired that the book would basically write itself.

I didn’t. It took not making much progress on my book for more than a year to realize I needed help.

The best thing you can do to help you focus on the writing process for your second draft is what we talked about in Step 4: Creating a Consequence.

But if you still need help, try my “3 Minute Timer Trick.” Here’s how it works:

• Set a timer for three minutes. Why three minutes? Because for me, I’m so distractible I can’t focus for more than three minutes. I think anyone can focus for three minutes though, even me.
• Write as fast as you can. Don’t think, just write!
• When the timer ends, write down your total word count in a separate document (see image below). Then subtract from the previous word count to calculate how many words you wrote during that session.
• Also write down any distractions during those three minutes. Did the phone ring? Did you have a tough urge to scroll through Facebook or play a game on your phone? Write it down.
• Then, repeat the process by starting the timer again. Can you beat your word count?

This process is surprisingly helpful, especially when you don’t feel like writing. After all, you might not have it in you to write for an hour, but anyone can write for three minutes.

And the amazing thing is that once you’ve started, you might find it much easier to keep going.

Other Tools for Writers

By the way, if you’re looking for the tools I use and other pro writers I know use, check out our Best Tools for Creative Writers guide here .

3. Make Your Weekly Deadlines.

You can’t finish your book in an all-nighter. That being said, you can finish a chapter of your book in an all-nighter.

That’s why it’s so important to have the weekly deadlines we talked about in Part 1, Step 2 of this guide.

By breaking up the writing process into a series of weekly deadlines, you give yourself an achievable framework to finish your book. And with the consequences you set in Step 3 of your memoir plan, you give your deadlines the teeth they need to hold you accountable.

And as I mentioned above, Scrivener is especially helpful for keeping track of deadlines (among other things). If you haven’t yet, check out my review of Scrivener here .

4. Keep Your Team Updated.

Having a hard time? It’s normal. Talk to your team about it.

It seems like when you’re writing a book, everything in the universe conspires against you. You get into a car accident, you get sick, you get into a massive fight with your spouse or family member, you get assigned a new project at your day job.

Writing a book would be hard enough on its own, but when you have the rest of your life to deal with, it can become almost impossible.

Without your team, which we talked about in Step 6 of your book plan, it would be.

For me, I would never have been able to finish one book, let alone the twelve that I’ve now finished, without the support, encouragement, and accountability of the other writers whom I call friends, the readers who believe in me, and most of all, my wife.

Remember: No book is finished alone. When things get hard, talk about it with your team.

And if you need a team, consider joining mine. The Write Practice Pro is a supportive encouraging community of writers and editors. It’s where I get feedback on my writing, and you can get it here too. Learn more about the community here.

5. Finally, Trust the Process.

When I walk writers through the first draft writing process, inevitably, around day sixty, they start to lose faith.

• They think their book is the all-time worst book ever written.
• They get a new idea they want to work on instead.
• They decide the dream to write a book and become a writer was foolish.
• They want to quit.

A few do quit at this point.

But the ones who keep going discover that in just a few weeks they’ve figured out most of the problems in their book, they’re on their last pages, and they’re almost finished.

It happens every time, even to me.

If you take nothing else from this post, please hear this: keep going. Never quit. If you follow this process from start to finish, you’re going to make it, and it’s going to be awesome.

I’m so excited for you.

How to Finish Your Memoir

More than half of this guide is about the planning process. That’s because if you start well, you’ll finish well.

If you create the right plan, then all that’s left is doing the hard, messy work of writing.

Without the right plan, it’s SO easy to get lost along the way.

That’s why I hope you’ll download my Memoir Plan Worksheet. Getting lost in the writing process is inevitable. This plan will become your map when it happens. Click to download the Memoir Plan Worksheet.

More than anything, though, I hope you’ll never quit. It took me five years to write Crowdsourcing Paris , but during that time I matured and grew so much as a writer and a person, all because I didn’t quit.

Even if it takes you five years, the life lessons you’ll learn as you write your book will be worth it.

And if you’re interested in a real-life adventure story set in Paris, I’d be honored if you’d read Crowdsourcing Paris . I think you’ll love it.

Good luck and happy writing.

More Writing Resources:

• How to Write a Memoir Outline: 7 Essential Steps For Your Memoir Outline
• 7 Steps to a Powerful Memoir
• The Memoir Project by Marion Roach Smith
• Crowdsourcing Paris by J.H. Bunting

Are you going to commit to writing a memoir (and never quitting, no matter what)? Let me know in the comments .

Summarize your memoir idea in the form of a one-sentence premise. Make sure it contains all three elements:

• A character
• A situation

Take fifteen minutes to craft your premise. When you’re finished, share your memoir premise in the Pro Practice Workshop for feedback. And if you share, please be sure to give feedback to three other writers. Not a member? Join us .

Joe Bunting

Joe Bunting is an author and the leader of The Write Practice community. He is also the author of the new book Crowdsourcing Paris , a real life adventure story set in France. It was a #1 New Release on Amazon. Follow him on Instagram (@jhbunting).

Want best-seller coaching? Book Joe here.

Work with Joe Bunting?

WSJ Bestselling author, founder of The Write Practice, and book coach with 14+ years experience. Joe Bunting specializes in working with Action, Adventure, Fantasy, Historical Fiction, How To, Literary Fiction, Memoir, Mystery, Nonfiction, Science Fiction, and Self Help books. Sound like a good fit for you?

One of my book chapters has been accepted for publication, but I lack confidence in the accuracy of what I have written. I have completed the chapter, but I would appreciate your assistance in improving its quality.

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• 3 Rules to Write World-Changing Memoir - The Write Practice - […] Here are my three “rules” about how to write a memoir: […]
• 4 Essentials for Writing Memoir That Resonates With Readers - The Write Practice - […] How do you write memoir and tell a story that is compelling to you, but might not be to…
• 19 Tips on Writing Memoir from The Memoir Project by Marion Roach Smith - The Write Practice - […] Marion Roach Smith has solid advice on how to write your own stories. Let me share nineteen tips on…
• The One Secret to a Deeper Memoir - The Write Practice - […] if you’re wondering how to write a memoir, what if you interviewed people–friends, family, community members–about the events on…
• How to Unlock the Power of the Present Tense in Memoir - The Write Practice - […] Writing memoir in the present tense suits grief in ways that the past tense simply cannot provide. […]
• Read Memoirs to Understand Character Motivation - […] about you? Do you want to know how to write a memoir? Check out our complete guide, Write a…
• How to Satisfy Your Reader With a Great Ending - The Write Practice - […] you’re figuring out how to write a memoir or a novel, creating an ending that is satisfying for the…
• How to Write About Your Family… Without Getting Disowned - […] this it true, through writing my own memoir, I have come to find that we can handle these situations…
• Write a Great Memoir: How to Start (and Actually Finish) Your First Draft – Books, Literature & Writing - […] “When you’re getting started writing a memoir, don’t just start writing about the first thing you remember.Tweet thisTweet […]
• 10 Memoir Writing Prompts to Get You Started - […] to take the next step and learn how to write a memoir? Check out my complete guide, Write a…
• How to Write a Short Memoir Story : The Write Practice - […] Then, when you’re ready to write a full memoir, check out our complete guide, Write a Great Memoir: How…

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Purdue Online Writing Lab Purdue OWL® College of Liberal Arts

The Personal Memoir

Welcome to the Purdue OWL

This page is brought to you by the OWL at Purdue University. When printing this page, you must include the entire legal notice.

Copyright ©1995-2018 by The Writing Lab & The OWL at Purdue and Purdue University. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, reproduced, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed without permission. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our terms and conditions of fair use.

Because the personal memoir is more demanding than the personal essay, for both writer and reader, it doesn’t fit into introductory courses as well as the personal essay. An intermediate level course is a good place to introduce the memoir. However, if the instructor takes the time to explain and introduce the memoir form, it can be adapted for introductory courses.

Difference Between the Personal Essay and the Memoir

While the personal essay can be about almost anything, the memoir tends to discuss past events. Memoir is similar to the personal essay, except that the memoir tends to focus more on striking or life-changing events. The personal essay can be a relatively light reflection about what’s going on in your life right now.

Where the personal essay explores, free from any need to interpret, the memoir interprets, analyzes, and seeks the deeper meaning beneath the surface experience of particular events. The memoir continually asks the following questions:

• Why was this event of particular significance?
• What did it mean?
• Why is it important?

In this sense, the memoir is heavier than the personal essay, and it mines the past to shed light on the present. The memoir seeks to make sense of an individual life. The questions that are left unanswered in Wole Soyinka’s essay from the personal essay resource, Why do I Fast? are answered in the memoir.

Generating Ideas for Personal Memoirs

Moore’s memoir exercise from The Truth of the Matter: Art and Craft in Creative Nonfiction is useful in both beginning and intermediate courses:

“Make a list of six to ten events or circumstances in your own life, or the lives of those very close to you, that still provoke your curiosity. Mine your own life for the events and circumstances that still raise questions in your mind. Once you have the list (and this list should be private - don’t share it with others - and don’t hold back because you think someone else will be looking), pick one of the questions on the list that you are willing to explore.“

The potential questions Moore asks in this exercise are meant to be answered in the memoir. While the memoir tries to make sense of experience, it also shares something in common with the personal essay - the exploration of the question, and the process of trying to arrive at an answer, is at least as important as the answer or resolution you may arrive at.

Writing the memoir is not a simple Q & A with yourself; rather, the complicated process of trying to seek the answers is what makes the memoir engaging to write, and read. Here is an example from Carlos Fuentes’ How I Started to Write :

Fuentes is constantly questioning and answering, interpreting and analyzing his experience, trying to make sense of why and how he did what he did in order to become a writer. He seeks answers and tries to make sense of his life by interpreting his own experience, the cultural and political life of his time, the meaning of language and literary influence, and by stepping over imagined nationalist borders.

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Last updated on Apr 14, 2023

How to Write a Memoir: Turn Your Personal Story Into a Successful Book

Writing a memoir can be a meaningful way to reflect on your life's journey and share your unique perspective with people around you. But creating a powerful (and marketable) book from your life's memories — one that can be enjoyed by readers across the world — is no easy task. 

In this article, we'll explore the essential ingredients that make up an impactful and commercially viable memoir and provide you with tips to craft your own.

Here’s how to write a memoir in 6 steps: 

1. Figure out who you’re writing for

2. narrow down your memoir’s focus, 3. distill the story into a logline , 4. choose the key moments to share, 5. don’t skimp on the details and dialogue, 6. portray yourself honestly.

Before you take on the challenge of writing a memoir, make sure you have a clear goal and direction by defining the following:

• What story you’re telling (if you’re telling “the story of your life,” then you may be looking at an autobiography , not a memoir),
• What the purpose of your memoir is,
• Which audience you’re writing it for.

Some authors write a memoir as a way to pass on some wisdom, to process certain parts of their lives, or just as a legacy piece for friends and family to look back on shared memories. Others have stronger literary ambitions, hoping to get a publishing deal through a literary agent , or self-publishing it to reach a wide audience. 

Whatever your motivation, we’d recommend approaching it as though you were to publish it. You’ll end up with a book that’s more polished, impactful, and accessible 一 even if it’ll only ever reach your Aunt Jasmine.

🔍 How do you know whether your book idea is marketable? Acclaimed ghostwriter Katy Weitz suggests researching memoir examples from several subcategories to determine whether there’s a readership for a story like yours.

Know your target reader

If you’re not sure where to start it doesn’t hurt to figure out your target audience 一 the age group, gender, and interests of the people you’re writing it for. A memoir targeted at business execs is a very different proposition from one written to appeal to Irish-American baseball fans. 

If you want a little help in asking the right questions to define your audience, download our author market research checklist below. 

FREE RESOURCE

Market Research Checklist

Find your ultimate target audience with our checklist.

Now that you know who you’re writing for, you need to clearly define which (yummy) slice of your life you want to share with them. 

When writing a memoir, there's always the temptation to cover broad periods of your life, from that time in first grade when Mrs. Taylor laughed at your painting, to your third divorce, and everything in between. But remember, this is not a biography. You should try to choose specific experiences or aspects of your life that form a red thread or a central theme. The narrower the focus, the better your memoir will resonate with others. 

For example, a memoir could be about the time you hiked the Appalachian Trail, became a Jiu-Jitsu master, or volunteered in a refugee camp. Naturally, anecdotes from other parts of your life may intertwine with your main narrative, but there needs to be a focused center to your book.

Not only will a narrower slice of life help you concentrate your efforts, it will also make it easier to shift the focus from your personal story to specific, relatable things you experienced , making it easier for readers to care and take something away from the book.

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A broader theme readers can relate to

Unless you’re a celebrity, you can’t expect people to just want to read your memoir 一 you have to give them a reason to carve time out of their busy schedule and sit with your book. People are drawn to stories that they can relate to or that teach them something about themselves and the world. 

So, before you get to writing, identify the broader themes behind your personal experiences and center the book around them. For example, a story about hiking the Appalachian Trail could be a story about spiritual growth. A book about learning Jiu-Jitsu may be about building confidence and overcoming fear. A memoir about working with refugees could be about cultivating empathy and overcoming structural inequality. 

These are themes that people from different ages, gender, and cultures can relate to. They will make your memoir much more universal. Figure out what readers can learn from your experiences, whether that’s something about resilience, trauma, parenting, self-discovery, or other, and center your book around that .    

💡 Listen to 3-time memoir author Paul Bradley Carr explain the importance of nailing your memoir’s focus from the get-go in this advice-packed Reedsy Live.

At this point, you’re probably fired up and stretching your fingers to start writing. But there are a few more steps to take to ensure you’re set up for success. 

Memory lane isn’t a straight path — it’s a winding road with many off-ramps and distractions. So before you start drafting, make a note of where you’re going by encapsulating your memoir in a sentence or two. Ask yourself: if I were to pitch it to a stranger on an elevator, how would I summarize it? The purpose of this exercise is to help you weave the main themes into a clear narrative arc, which is essential to turn your life into a captivating story. 

Here are some example loglines from famous memoirs for inspiration: 

Take some time with your logline and whittle your story down to its purest form. If it helps, start by writing what you think the back cover blurb will be. Then boil it down further and further, until you can finally pitch it in just a few sentences.

The logline is the North Star that will guide you as you start to collect the moments of your life to include in the book. 

Now that you have a direction and some central themes, it’s time to pick the best tales from your buffet of life experiences. It’s natural to look back at your life chronologically and select memories in a linear fashion, but really, what’s important is to pick the most meaningful moments, whether big or small, that propel your memoir forward.

For example, Trevor Noah’s Born a Crime is a collection of stories about growing up as a mixed-raced child in Apartheid South Africa. The book shares how Noah questioned his mother’s religious beliefs, spoke multiple languages to bridge cultural differences, made and sold CDs to escape poverty, and more. Each story is a different window into his world and how it shaped him, but all of them build on the book’s central themes of faith, identity, and resilience.

Look for moments of high emotion

When you’re mining your memory for stories, look for those with moments of high emotion and meaning. Whether it was a funny, sad, or embarrassing memory, the ones that shaped who you are and how you see the world tend to be the most emotionally charged.

To discern the gems from mediocre stories, consider working with a professional editor and take advantage of their editorial wisdom. 

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Now close your eyes, and dig deep into your memories to repaint your stories on the blank page as colorfully (and accurately) as possible. 

To make your memoir deeply engaging, experiment with different storytelling techniques and use sensory details, actions, and dialogue, as opposed to explicitly stating what you did or how you felt. This falls into the classic writing advice of ‘ Show, don’t tell .’

When revisiting your memories, be thorough in your research and try to collect as many details as possible: 

• Read back your journal entries (if you kept one) to see how you felt in the moment.
• Get your hands on photos or videos from that period in your life (either digital or analog.)
• Interview your family members, friends, and other people relevant to your story.
• Revisit locations and settings from the past that you plan on writing about.
• Look up anything that can be verified or fact-checked (e.g. dates, social media posts, or world news.)

Once you've collected the raw material, organize these memories in a way that makes sense for you. Being systematic in your research will pay serious dividends when you actually start working on your manuscript.

You’re allowed some creative license with dialogue

One thing that is particularly important to get right is dialogue. Obviously, you don't have to write dialogue exactly as it happened — our memories are fallible after all. However, you do need to accurately capture the essence of what was said (and how). As long as you’re faithful to what happened (or at least honest about how you experienced it) you can take some liberties with the precise wording. 

To write believable dialogue, take inspiration from your favorite writers, or take our free course below for tips. 

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😱 Inevitably, when you write about other people there’s always a risk of portraying them in a way they don’t appreciate. As general advice, tell them you’re writing this story, or prepare to lose some relationships. And if you’re really pushing some boundaries, discuss it with your lawyer! 

Next, it’s time to look inwards and flesh out a compelling and relatable protagonist: you!  

The best memoirs read like novels, which means they hinge on the protagonist’s voice and personality 一 their quirks, values, and goals, and how they rise to life’s challenges. Just as in a novel, your memoir needs a relatable protagonist that undergoes some change.

It takes a good dose of courage to portray yourself as a multidimensional character 一 one with both strengths and weaknesses, one who sometimes wins and sometimes loses. 

Do background work on yourself

To infuse a dose of humanity to your own character, you’ll have to do the background work as if you were a character in a novel. Take note of everything from your physical appearance, cultural background, psychological traits, and more. This exercise will help you bring to surface details about your personality that you’d otherwise look over, and depict a much more well-rounded protagonist. To facilitate the process, use our free character development template which will guide you with specific prompts and questions.  

Reedsy’s Character Development Template

A story is only as strong as its characters. Fill this out to develop yours.

Define your character’s arc

Additionally, it's helpful to define your own character's arc 一 how you’ve matured through the life experiences highlighted in the memoir. There are specific steps you can follow to define your personal hero's journey , but among other questions, you’ll have to answer: 

• What inciting incident set you on a journey?
• What were the obstacles you encountered?
• Which mentors helped you along the way?
• What were the lessons you needed to learn?
• How have you changed as a result?

These questions will help you strengthen your memoir’s narrative, hooking the readers in like the best novels do. 

To give an example, Cheryl Strayed's journey in Wild begins after the death of her beloved mother and other family problems, which lead her on a path of self-destruction, culminating in a divorce and addiction to heroin. Having reached the bottom, she decides to hike the Pacific Crest Trail for three months in order to find herself. The path is filled with challenges 一 from her hiking inexperience, to losing her boots, to fellow hikers warning her that it's not safe to go on alone. Through resilience (and some help) she is able to overcome her physical and emotional challenges, find forgiveness and rediscover her inner strength. 

Take inspiration from Wild and other memoirs, and deconstruct how your own experiences might fit into these all-important story elements. 

You now have all the ingredients: a specific memoir topic that touches on universal themes (as summarized by your logline), a selection of vivid and relevant memories, and a multidimensional character with an interesting story arc. It’s time to put it all together by outlining the structure of your memoir, which is exactly what we’ll cover in our next post.

15 responses

CourtneySymons says:

11/01/2018 – 15:26

This was exactly the article I needed today! I've just begun a new career path as a ghostwriter and am finding it difficult to find learning resources (conferences, courses, books, networks of ghostwriters, etc.). If any readers have advice on where I should be looking or who I should be talking to, I would be forever grateful! Thanks so much!

M. Thomas Maxwell says:

11/01/2018 – 15:28

I had no intention of writing a book but encouraged by my grandson I embarked on a story telling venture that led to Grandfather's Journal, www.captaintommaxwell.com. It truly is a series of life stories shared with my grandson. Published by Westbow press in 2015 I used many Reedsy tips and am very pleased with the results.I have since encouraged others to consider doing the same. It took over a year and was a pleasant experience.

Don Karp says:

11/01/2018 – 16:06

As a self-published memoir writer, I read this with appreciation. I do not agree with all that's said here. For example, "2. Do Your Research." Of course certain events--those experienced publicly by a large number of people--need to be accurate. But even the word, "memoir," says it's about memory, not accuracy. This is one of the major differences from an autobiography which does require research. I looked up the dictionary definition and got confirmation on this. Perhaps you need to re-examine this and get it right?

↪️ Reedsy replied:

11/01/2018 – 17:00

I would agree that memoirs are indeed based on memory — and in some way that's why historians are often forced to question the reliability of memoirs as a primary source. I would say, however, that modern readers to expect memoirs to be as factually-correct as possible. Editors at publishers will go to great pains to ensure that — or face a public backlash. If you say anything in a memoir that can be disproved by a basic google search will seriously compromise your relationship with a reader. The other benefit with research is that it can do a lot to jog your memories. Unreliable recollections can often be set straight once you remind yourself of certain facts. Thanks for commenting!

↪️ Don Karp replied:

11/01/2018 – 17:28

Thanks for your response. This brings up two points for me. First, what is more powerful, a memory of an experience or the actual experience? Different people interpret the same experience differently. Second, what do you propose to do with the dictionary definition of "memoir?" Since the word is based on memory and not research, perhaps you can suggest some alternate word form?

↪️ The Red Lounge For Writers replied:

05/12/2018 – 08:14

I think looking at the idea of the 'voice of innocence' and the 'voice of experience' could really help with this distinction between fact and memory. As writers of memoir, we are expected to write what we remember. We can do this using the voice of innocence, and use the voice of experience to write about the factual context.

Stu Mountjoy says:

11/01/2018 – 21:48

A group I used to attend, on a Friday, started people off with the basic exercise of writing a story about one thing that happened to you, and I did one about a race at school. I am always impressed by the first page I read of Alan Alder's bio (actor in M*A*S*H TV series) - "Hi I'm Alan Alder, and when I was six, my mother tried to kill my father." - wow.

31/01/2018 – 10:15

Alda's a great writer — "Things I Overheard While Talking to Myself" is such a fantastic name for a memoir too.

Robbie Cheadle says:

31/01/2018 – 04:48

A very useful and interesting post on writing a memoir.

31/01/2018 – 10:14

I'm glad you like it Robbie :)

The Red Lounge For Writers says:

05/12/2018 – 08:10

All great advice. Memoir is probably my favourite genre to read, and some of my favourite books are memoirs. I'm of the opinion that everyone has a story to tell; it's just a matter of figuring out how to do it really well.

James Soil says:

15/07/2019 – 13:16

Thank you very much I just finished my Memoir titled Addicted it will be out this summer after reading this article I feel much better about it I pretty much did what the article says.

Izaura Nicolette says:

04/08/2019 – 04:50

Self-published Author, Izaura Nicolette. 'Within The Mountains: A Mormon Reform School Experience.' Published January, 2019. Seeking legit Publishing House or Agent. I still have not received any royalties due to publishers being fraudulent. I want to speak publicly about my memoir. Hundreds to thousands can back me up. This is a true story. I hold too close to my heart. Hoping to heal by sharing this experience, and opening door for many others.

Magzley says:

08/08/2019 – 02:14

Can I *breathe* life into my story instead?

Cassandra Janzen says:

20/12/2019 – 04:35

Very helpful, thank you!

Comments are currently closed.

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How to Write a Memoir Essay

October 12, 2023

What is a Memoir Essay?

A memoir essay is a form of autobiographical writing that focuses on a specific aspect of the author’s life. Unlike a traditional autobiography, which typically covers the author’s entire life, a memoir essay hones in on a particular event, time period, or theme. It is a deeply personal and reflective piece that allows the writer to delve into their memories, thoughts, and emotions surrounding their chosen subject.

In a memoir essay, the author aims to not only recount the events that took place but also provide insight into the impact and meaning of those experiences. It is a unique opportunity for self-discovery and exploration, while also offering readers a glimpse into the author’s world. The beauty of a memoir essay lies in its ability to weave together personal anecdotes, vivid descriptions, and introspective reflections to create a compelling narrative.

Writing a memoir essay can be both challenging and rewarding. It requires careful selection of memories, thoughtful introspection, and skillful storytelling. The process allows the writer to make sense of their past, gain a deeper understanding of themselves, and share their unique story with others.

Choosing a Topic for Your Memoir Essay

Selecting the right topic is crucial to write a good memoir essay. It sets the foundation for what you will explore and reveal in your personal narrative. When choosing a topic, it’s essential to reflect on your significant life experiences and consider what stories or themes hold the most meaning for you.

One approach is to think about moments or events that have had a profound impact on your life. Consider times of triumph or adversity, moments of exploration or self-discovery, relationships that have shaped you, or challenges you have overcome. These experiences can provide a rich foundation for your memoir essay.

Another option is to focus on a specific theme or aspect of your life. You might explore topics such as identity, family dynamics, cultural heritage, career milestones, or personal beliefs. By centering your essay around a theme, you can weave together various memories and reflections to create a cohesive narrative.

It’s also important to consider your target audience. Who do you want to connect with through your memoir essay? Understanding your audience’s interests and experiences can help you choose a topic that will resonate with them.

Ultimately, the topic should be one that excites you and allows for introspection and self-discovery. Choose a topic that ignites your passion and offers a story worth sharing.

Possible Memoir Essay Topics

• Childhood Memories
• Family Dynamics
• Life-altering Events
• Overcoming Societal Expectations
• Love and Loss
• Self-discovery and Transformation
• Lessons from Nature
• Journey from Darkness to Light
• Triumphing Over Adversities
• Life’s Defining Moments

Outlining the Structure of Your Memoir Essay

Writing a memoir essay allows you to share your personal experiences, reflections, and insights with others. However, before you start pouring your thoughts onto the page, it’s essential to outline the structure of your essay. This not only provides a clear roadmap for your writing but also helps you maintain a cohesive and engaging narrative.

First, consider the opening. Begin with a captivating introduction that hooks the reader and establishes the theme or central message of your memoir. This is your chance to grab their attention and set the tone for the rest of the essay.

Next, move on to the body paragraphs. Divide your essay into sections that chronologically or thematically explore different aspects of your life or experiences. Use vivid descriptions, anecdotes, and dialogue to bring your memories to life. It’s crucial to maintain a logical flow and transition smoothly between different ideas or events.

As you approach the conclusion, summarize the key points you’ve discussed and reflect on the significance of your experiences. What lessons have you learned? How have you grown or changed as a result? Wrap up your memoir essay by leaving the reader with a memorable takeaway or a thought-provoking question.

Remember, the structure of your memoir essay should support your storytelling and allow for a genuine and authentic exploration of your experiences. By outlining your essay’s structure, you’ll have a solid foundation to create a compelling and impactful memoir that resonates with your readers.

How to Write an Introduction for Your Memoir Essay

The introduction of your memoir essay sets the stage for your story and captivates your readers from the very beginning. It is your opportunity to grab their attention, establish the tone, and introduce the central theme of your memoir.

To create a compelling introduction, consider starting with a hook that intrigues your readers. This can be a surprising fact, a thought-provoking question, or a vivid description that immediately draws them in. Your goal is to make them curious and interested in what you have to say.

Next, provide a brief overview of what your memoir essay will explore. Give your readers a glimpse into the key experiences or aspects of your life that you will be sharing. However, avoid giving away too much detail. Leave room for anticipation and curiosity to keep them engaged.

Additionally, consider how you want to establish the tone of your memoir. Will it be reflective, humorous, or nostalgic? Choose your words and phrasing carefully to convey the right emotions and set the right atmosphere for your story.

Finally, end your introduction with a clear and concise thesis statement. This statement should express the central theme or message that your memoir will convey. It serves as a roadmap for your essay and guides your readers in understanding the purpose and significance of your memoir.

By crafting a strong and captivating introduction for your memoir essay, you will draw readers in and make them eager to dive into the rich and personal journey that awaits them.

Write the Main Body of Your Memoir Essay

When developing the main body of your memoir essay, it’s essential to structure your thoughts and experiences in a clear and engaging manner. Here are some tips to help you effectively organize and develop the main body of your essay:

• Chronological Structure: Consider organizing your memoir essay in chronological order, following the sequence of events as they occurred in your life. This allows for a natural flow and a clear timeline that helps readers understand your personal journey.
• Thematic Structure: Alternatively, you can focus on specific themes or lessons that emerged from your experiences. This approach allows for a more focused exploration of different aspects of your life, even if they did not occur in a linear order.
• Use Vivid Details: Use sensory details, descriptive language, and engaging storytelling techniques to bring your memories to life. Transport your readers to the settings, evoke emotions, and create a vivid picture of the events and people in your life.
• Show, Don’t Tell: Instead of simply stating facts, show your readers the experiences through engaging storytelling. Use dialogue, scenes, and anecdotes to make your memoir more dynamic and immersive.
• Reflections and Insights: Share your reflections on the events and experiences in your memoir. Offer deeper insights, lessons learned, and personal growth that came from these moments. Invite readers to reflect on their own lives and connect with your journey.

By organizing your main body in a logical and engaging manner, using vivid details, and offering thoughtful reflections, you can write a compelling memoir essay that captivates your readers and leaves a lasting impact.

Reflecting on Lessons Learned in Your Memoir Essay

One of the powerful aspects of a memoir essay is the opportunity to reflect on the lessons learned from your personal experiences. These reflections provide deeper insights and meaning to your story, leaving a lasting impact on your readers. Here are some tips for effectively reflecting on lessons learned in your memoir essay:

• Summarize Key Points: In the conclusion of your essay, summarize the key events and experiences you have shared throughout your memoir. Briefly remind readers of the significant moments that shaped your journey.
• Identify Core Themes: Reflect on the core themes and messages that emerged from your experiences. What did you learn about resilience, love, identity, or perseverance? Identify the overarching lessons that you want to convey.
• Offer Personal Insights: Share your personal insights and reflections on how these lessons have influenced your life. Were there specific turning points or moments of epiphany? How have these experiences shaped your beliefs, values, or actions?
• Connect to the Reader: Make your reflections relatable to your readers. Explore how the lessons you learned can resonate with their own lives and experiences. This allows them to connect with your story on a deeper level.
• Offer a Call to Action: Encourage readers to reflect on their own lives and consider how the lessons from your memoir can apply to their own journeys. Pose thought-provoking questions or suggest actions they can take to apply these insights.

By reflecting on the lessons learned in your memoir essay, you give your readers a chance to contemplate their own lives and find inspiration in your personal growth. These reflections add depth and impact to your storytelling, making your memoir essay truly memorable.

Crafting a Strong Conclusion for Your Memoir Essay

The conclusion of your memoir essay is your final opportunity to leave a lasting impression on your readers. It is where you tie together the threads of your story and offer a sense of closure and reflection. Here are some tips to help you craft a strong conclusion for your memoir essay:

• Summarize the Journey: Remind your readers of the key moments and experiences you shared throughout your essay. Briefly summarize the significant events and emotions that shaped your personal journey.
• Revisit the Central Theme: Reiterate the central theme or message of your memoir. Emphasize the lessons learned, personal growth, or insights gained from your experiences. This helps reinforce the purpose and impact of your story.
• Reflect on Transformation: Reflect on how you have transformed as a result of the events and experiences you shared. Share the growth, self-discovery, or newfound perspectives that have shaped your life.
• Leave a Lasting Impression: Use powerful and evocative language to leave a lasting impact on your readers. Craft a memorable phrase or thought that lingers in their minds even after they finish reading your essay.
• Offer a Call to Action or Reflection: Encourage your readers to take action or reflect on their own lives. Pose thought-provoking questions, suggest further exploration, or challenge them to apply the lessons from your memoir to their own experiences.

By crafting a strong conclusion, you ensure that your memoir essay resonates with your readers long after they have finished reading it. It leaves them with a sense of closure, inspiration, and a deeper understanding of the transformative power of personal storytelling.

Editing and Proofreading Your Memoir Essay

Editing and proofreading are crucial steps in the writing process that can greatly enhance the quality and impact of your memoir essay. Here are some tips to help you effectively edit and proofread your work:

• Take a Break: After completing your initial draft, take a break before starting the editing process. This allows you to approach your essay with fresh eyes and a clear mind.
• Review for Structure and Flow: Read through your essay to ensure it has a logical structure and flows smoothly. Check that your paragraphs and sections transition seamlessly, guiding readers through your story.
• Trim and Refine: Eliminate any unnecessary or repetitive information. Trim down long sentences and paragraphs to make your writing concise and impactful. Consider the pacing and ensure that each word contributes to the overall story.
• Check for Clarity and Consistency: Ensure that your ideas and thoughts are expressed clearly. Identify any confusing or vague passages and revise them to improve clarity. Check for consistency in tense, tone, and voice throughout your essay.
• Proofread for Errors: Carefully proofread your essay for spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors. Pay attention to common mistakes such as subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and punctuation marks. Consider using spell-checking tools or having someone else review your work for an objective perspective.
• Seek Feedback: Share your memoir essay with a trusted friend, family member, or writing partner. Their feedback can provide valuable insights and help you identify areas for improvement.

By dedicating time to edit and proofread your memoir essay, you ensure that it is polished, coherent, and error-free. These final touches enhance the reader’s experience and allow your story to shine.

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4.2.1: Memoir or Personal Narrative- Learning Lessons from the Personal

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Figure \(4.1\) Personal narratives and memoirs give the narrator’s perspective on a life experience. Here, a Florida family is having a makeshift meal together at a shelter set up during Hurricane Charley in 2004 for people who had to evacuate their homes. How do you imagine the parents and children are feeling and getting along during this time? What might the children, now adults, say about their memories of the hurricane? Family relationships and living through natural disasters are frequent subjects of personal writing. (credit: “Photograph by Mark Wolfe” by Mark Wolfe/Wikimedia Commons, Public Domain)

Chapter Outline

• 4.2.1.1: Exploring the Past to Understand the Present
• 4.2.1.2: Trailblazer
• 4.2.1.3: Glance at Genre- Conflict, Detail, and Revelation

Introduction

Since pen was first put to paper, authors have been recording their personal experiences in order to perpetuate them, share meaningful lessons learned, or simply entertain an audience. Indeed, even as far back as Roman ruler Julius Caesar (100–44 BCE), who wrote accounts of his epic battles, authors have written to preserve history, seek acclaim for accomplishments, and pass down wisdom. Writing about your own life can feel alternately satisfying, terrifying, and exhilarating. It allows you to share meaningful personal experiences, to reflect on them, and to connect on a new level with your audience. Personal writing can reveal more than just events you’ve experienced—it tells your audience who you are as you relate personal experiences to convey humor, compassion, fears, and beliefs.

Language Lens Icon

A personal narrative is a form of nonfiction writing in which the author recounts an event or incident from their life. A memoir is a type of nonfiction writing in which the author tells a first-person version of a time period or an event in their life. Because the two genres, or forms of writing, share more similarities than differences, they are covered here together. Personal writing, whether a narrative or a memoir, is an opportunity to share your lived experiences with readers. A personal narrative tells a story and often includes memories and anecdotes (short, amusing, or interesting stories about something that happened in real life) to relate events and ideas. Like all good writing, personal narratives have an overarching theme (message you want to impart to your readers) and a purpose beyond the story itself. Although personal narratives usually follow the traditional narrative arc of exposition, rising action, climax, falling action, and resolution, personal writing has several unique features. Unlike some forms of academic writing, personal writing welcomes the use of first-person point of view (narrator participates in events), and narratives and memoirs often have a narrow focus.

The key to effective personal writing is to know your audience and purpose. You may write to relay an event, to teach a lesson, or to explore an idea. You may write to help provide relief from stages of deep emotion (a process called catharsis ), to evoke an emotional response, or simply to entertain readers. Above all, a personal narrative or memoir tells about an individual's experience or a series of events in a way that emotionally engages readers. The more clearly and vividly you share your experience, the more likely readers will be moved.

This chapter presents an excerpt from American writer Mark Twain’s Life on the Mississippi (1883), a memoir about his years as a steamboat pilot on the Mississippi River. Studying this text and Twain’s use of the components of personal narrative will help you understand how authors create meaningful accounts of personal events. Later in the chapter, you too will create a personal narrative about an important event in your life.4

How to Write a Memoir: Tips and Advice for Capturing Your Life Story

What is a memoir.

Memoirs are one of the most interesting and engaging forms of writing, and one that can bring history to life in a way that no other writing can.

A memoir is a type of autobiographical writing, where the author reflects on their life experiences, usually focusing on a specific period of time or event. Writing a memoir can be a wonderful way to preserve memories, share a story, and explore significant moments of our lives. It can also be a great way to document personal growth, explore family relationships, and reflect on our experiences.

Memoirs are different from biographies in that they are written by the individual themselves, and not by someone else. This makes memoirs more personal and intimate, as they are based on the author’s own experiences. In a memoir, the author may choose to share their thoughts, feelings, and insights about the events they are writing about.

Memoirs are often written in a narrative style, and can take on different forms such as a narrative nonfiction, essay, poem, or even a play. They can also be written in a variety of genres, including historical, literary, contemporary, and even personal. Memoirs can be written as short stories or as full-length books.

When writing a memoir, it is important to keep in mind that your story is unique to you, and it should be told in your own voice. You should also consider how you want to structure your memoir, and choose the form and genre that best fits your story.

When writing a memoir, it is important to focus on the details, as this will help to bring your story to life. You should also be mindful of what you choose to include and exclude from your memoir. It is important to be honest and open with your story, and to provide an accurate reflection of events.

No matter what form your memoir takes, it should be an honest and thoughtful reflection of your life. Writing a memoir can be emotionally and mentally draining, but it can also be a rewarding experience. The process of writing a memoir can help us to gain insight into our lives, and to better understand our experiences.

Writing a memoir can be a great way to preserve memories, share a story, and explore significant moments of our lives. It can also be a great way to document personal growth, explore family relationships, and reflect on our experiences. Whether you are writing a short story or a full-length book, a memoir can be a wonderful way to capture your life story and share it with others.

What’s the difference between a memoir and a biography?

Writing memoirs and biographies can be a great way to document the stories of our lives and the lives of others. However, there is a big difference between the two genres. It’s important to understand the distinction between a memoir and a biography to ensure you’re writing the right type of story.

At first glance, it can be difficult to tell the difference between a memoir and a biography. After all, both genres are about a person’s life story. However, there are important distinctions between the two.

A memoir is a personal story written by the person who experienced the events. It’s a narrative that focuses on a specific period or theme in the author’s life. It’s an opportunity to reflect and explore the emotions and thoughts associated with the experience. It’s a subjective story that often includes details of the author’s thoughts, feelings, and opinions.

On the other hand, a biography is an objective look at a person’s life written by someone else. It’s a factual account that focuses on the major events and accomplishments of the subject’s life. It’s usually written in third person and often includes interviews and research. The goal of a biography is to provide an accurate and comprehensive portrayal of the subject’s life.

Another key difference between the two is the audience. A memoir is intended to be read by the author’s family and friends. It’s a way to share their personal story with those closest to them. Biographies, however, are written for a much broader audience. They are intended to be read by anyone interested in learning more about the subject.

Finally, the length of each story is typically different. Memoirs are usually shorter than biographies, as they are focused on a specific period or theme. Biographies, on the other hand, can be much longer, as they typically cover the entire life of the subject.

In short, a memoir and a biography are both stories about a person’s life, but they are very different types of stories. A memoir is a personal story written by the person who experienced the events, while a biography is an objective look at a person’s life written by someone else. A memoir is intended to be read by the author’s family and friends, while biographies are written for a much broader audience. Finally, a memoir is usually shorter than a biography, as it typically focuses on a specific period or theme.

Understanding the difference between a memoir and a biography is essential for anyone looking to write a life story. It’s important to know which type of story you’re writing to ensure you’re telling the right type of story.

Why is it important to preserve stories in the first place?

Preserving memories and stories is an incredibly important component of family life. When we can look back and remember the stories of our loved ones, we are able to feel connected to them in a deeper way and understand how their experiences shaped our lives, our families, and our relationships. Memories and stories help us to recognize the impact of our loved ones in our lives and to keep them alive in our hearts.

The memories and stories we share are what make us unique. They are the keys to unlocking our family’s history and giving us a better understanding of our ancestors, our past, and our present. Our memories and stories can be used to teach future generations about our values and traditions, and to bridge the gap between the past and the present. Preserving these memories and stories is a way to honor our family’s legacy and keep it alive.

Preserving memories and stories can also be a way to build stronger relationships. When we share our memories and stories with our loved ones, we are able to connect with them in a more meaningful way. We are able to create a shared understanding of our family’s history and deepen the bond we have with each other. As we share our stories and memories, we are able to learn more about our loved ones and really get to know them in a more personal way.

Finally, preserving memories and stories can be a way to cope with loss. When a loved one passes away, it can be difficult to accept their absence. Sharing the memories and stories of our loved one can be a way to cope with the grief we feel and to remember them in a positive way. By looking back at the memories and stories we shared, we can remember the joy they brought to our lives and use that as a source of comfort.

Preserving memories and stories is an incredibly important part of family life. It allows us to connect with our loved ones in a deeper way, to learn more about our family’s history and traditions, and to cope with the pain of loss. When we are able to look back at the memories and stories we shared, we are able to honor our family’s legacy and keep our loved ones alive in our hearts.

Now that you know why it’s important to write a memoir, it’s time to learn how to write a good memoir.

Why Should You Write a Memoir?

Writing a memoir book is an incredibly rewarding experience. It allows you to document your life story, your struggles, and your successes in a way that no other form of writing can. A memoir is also a great way to share your story with others and to provide insight and perspective into your life.

The process of writing a memoir can be a therapeutic one. It gives you the opportunity to reflect on your life and to examine your experiences. Writing a memoir can help you to sort through your emotions, to understand yourself better, and to gain a better understanding of your life and how it has shaped you.

Writing a memoir can also be a way to connect with other people. As you share your story, you may find that other people can relate to your experiences. This can be incredibly comforting, as it can make you feel less alone. It can also be inspiring, as you may find that others have gone through similar experiences and have come out the other side.

Writing a memoir can also give you a sense of closure. By putting your story down on paper, you can process your emotions and gain a better understanding of yourself and your life. Writing a memoir can be an incredibly cathartic experience, as you can look back on the events that shaped you and the lessons you have learned.

Writing a memoir can also be a way to honor your life and the people who have shaped it. By writing your story, you can pay tribute to the people who have helped you and the experiences that have made you who you are. You can also use your memoir to inspire others and to share your experiences and wisdom.

Finally, writing a memoir can be an incredibly creative experience. You can use your writing to explore different topics and to express yourself in unique and meaningful ways. Writing a memoir can be a way to express yourself fully and to express your feelings and thoughts in a creative and powerful way.

As you can see, writing a memoir can be an incredibly rewarding and fulfilling experience. It can help you to process your emotions, to connect with others, to gain closure, to honor your life, and to express yourself creatively. Writing a memoir can be a way to tell your story and to share your experiences and wisdom with others.

How to Write A Memoir

Learning how to write a personal memoir can be a daunting task, but with the right advice and tips, it can be an enjoyable process. In this section, we’ll explore tips for writing memoirs, how to write a successful memoir, from selecting the most important events in your life to publishing your book and promoting it to your readers. We’ll take you through all the steps required to learn how to write a book about yourself.

Identifying Your Story: How to Select the Most Memorable Events in Your Life

Before you get started learning how to write your memoir, you must first identify what your story is about. It’s important to contemplate exactly what to write in a memoir. Consider the most significant moments in your life – the highs and lows, the people and places, and the thoughts and feelings that have shaped your personal narrative. Think about the moments that had an impact on you and the ones that you want to share with your readers. When you have a clear idea of what your story is about, you can start to shape it into a compelling narrative.

Getting Started: Tips for Overcoming Writer’s Block and Learning How to Write A Personal Memoir

Once you have identified the key events in your life that you want to write about, it’s time to get started. But sometimes, the task of writing can seem overwhelming, and you may find yourself stuck in writer’s block. To get past this, try breaking down your memoir into smaller sections, such as individual chapters, and tackling them one at a time. You can also try free writing, where you write a stream-of-consciousness about your topic for a set period of time. Other tips for overcoming writer’s block include taking a break, doing something creative, reading a book, or talking to a friend. Follow these steps and you’ll be confident in how to write a book about yourself.

Crafting Your Narrative: Tips for Creating a Compelling Story – How to Write A Memoir Essay

Once you have started writing, you need to create a narrative that will engage your readers and keep them interested in your story. To do this, make sure you include vivid descriptions of the places and people in your life, as well as your thoughts and feelings. Aim for an honest and authentic tone that will draw readers in and make them feel connected to your story.

Editing and Revising Your Memoir: How to Make Sure Your Story is Authentic and Engaging

No matter how good your first draft is, when you’re learning how to write a memoir it’s important to edit and revise your memoir before you publish it. Editing will help you refine your story and make sure it is as compelling and engaging as possible. As you go through the editing process, make sure you check the facts, remove any unnecessary details, and rework any awkward passages. You should also read it aloud to make sure it flows naturally and read it from a reader’s perspective to make sure it is as enjoyable as possible.

Publishing Your Memoir: How to Self-Publish and Find a Traditional Publisher

Once you have edited and revised your memoir, it’s time to publish it. You can choose to self-publish or find a traditional publisher. To self-publish, you will need to format your book, design a cover, and upload it to a platform such as Amazon. If you choose to find a publisher, you will need to write a query letter and submit your book for consideration. When searching for a publisher, make sure to research the publisher’s guidelines to make sure your book is a good fit.

Marketing Your Memoir: Tips for Promoting Your Book

Once your personal memoir is published, you need to promote it to your readers. To do this, you should create a website and social media accounts, reach out to book bloggers and influencers, and make sure your book is available in online bookstores. You should also send out press releases and book reviews, attend book festivals and readings, and start a blog or podcast to promote your book.

Writing Exercises to Help You Develop Your Memoir: Practice Writing Techniques to Flesh Out Your Story

Writing exercises can be a great way to help you develop your memoir. These exercises can range from free writing and stream-of-consciousness writing to character sketches and outlining important events. Practicing these exercises will help you to flesh out your story and make it more compelling and engaging.

Writing About Difficult Times: Tips for Writing About Painful Experiences in Your Memoir

Writing about difficult times in your life can be both daunting and cathartic when you’re learning how to write a memoir. When writing about these experiences, it’s important to keep your focus on the story and how it has shaped your life. Don’t worry about the details being perfect, but aim for an honest and authentic representation of your experience. It’s also important to remember to take breaks and to seek emotional support if you need it.

Writing for an Audience: Tips for Writing a Memoir That Your Readers Will Enjoy

When you’re learning how to write a memoir, it’s important to keep your readers in mind. You want to make sure that your story is both engaging and enjoyable for your readers. To do this, you should use vivid descriptions, include interesting characters and dialogue, and use an honest and authentic tone. You should also make sure that your story has a clear beginning, middle, and end, and that you use the right balance of fact and fiction to make it believable.

Conclusion:

By following these tips, you can create a successful memoir that your readers will enjoy. Writing a memoir can be a rewarding process, so make sure you have fun with it and take the time to craft a story that you are proud of.

The task can still be daunting despite having a guide on how to write a book about your life. You’ll need to commit the time and energy to see it through. Unfortunately, it may take even longer if you’re not a natural storyteller.

But you don’t have to be. The writers at StorySavor can tell your story for you.

If you’re interested in preserving your life story, consider working with a professional biography writer. We’ll ensure your story is impactful and truly reflects who you are.

Schedule a call today to learn more about our services and how we can help you share your story with the world.

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What Is a Memoir? Definition & 15+ Examples

Ever wondered how your life would read if it were a book? Welcome to the world of memoirs, the literary realm where life imitates art and personal tales echo universal truths.

Unraveling the threads of human experience, memoirs invite us into the intimate corners of a person’s world, offering a lens into their most transformative moments. They’re not just about recounting facts but about painting vibrant pictures of the human journey.

Buckle up for an exploration of memoirs and the remarkable ways they thread together the individual and the universal, the specific and the profound.

Table of Contents

Defining Memoir

A memoir is a form of creative nonfiction that enables an author to tell their personal story or share experiences in an artful and engaging manner. Generally derived from the French word “mémoire” (meaning memory or reminiscence), memoirs differ from autobiographies in that they focus on specific events or periods of the author’s life instead of presenting an extensive, chronological account.

Memoirs are highly subjective, allowing writers to examine their own lives through the lens of personal experiences and emotions. This leads to a more intimate portrayal of their stories, potentially resonating with readers on a deeper level.

Typically, memoirs tackle themes of identity , relationships , growth , and change , often borrowing stylistic elements from fiction.

Memoir vs. Autobiography vs. Biography

When you’re exploring the world of personal writing, it’s essential to understand the distinctions between memoir, autobiography, and biography. Each type of writing delves into a person’s life but with different approaches and intentions.

A memoir focuses on a specific aspect or time period in the author’s life, offering a personal and emotional glimpse into their experiences. As a memoir writer, you will share your unique perspective, allowing your readers to connect and empathize with your journey. Memoirs tend to be more emotional and reflective than autobiographies and biographies.

An autobiography is a comprehensive account of the author’s entire life, written by the subject themselves. As an autobiography writer, your task is to provide a factual and chronological account of your life, from birth to the present or at a specific point in time.

Unlike memoirs and biographies, autobiographies emphasize the personal perspective of the subject, offering a unique firsthand account of their life story.

A biography is a detailed account of another person’s life written by someone other than the subject. When writing a biography, your focus is on researching and presenting the facts of your subject’s life, often using sources like interviews, letters, and archives.

As a biographer, you aim to create an accurate, engaging, and informative representation of your subject’s life story. Biographies tend to be less personal and emotional than memoirs and autobiographies, focusing mainly on facts and events.

To summarize:

History of Memoir

Memoir, as a form of writing, has a long and varied history. It allows you to delve into the thoughts, experiences, and emotions of the writer, offering an intimate perspective on their life and the events that shaped them.

One of the earliest known memoirs is Julius Caesar’s “Commentaries on the Gallic War,” written in 50 BCE . As a politician and general, Caesar documented his military campaigns, giving insight into the strategies and decisions that led to his conquests. This work set a precedent for future memoirists, who would also detail their exploits in politics, war, and other arenas.

In the 19th century , the genre evolved to focus more on individual experiences and self-reflection. Henry David Thoreau’s “Walden” (1854) is a notable example, as it chronicles his two-year experiment in simple living in a cabin near Walden Pond. Thoreau’s exploration of his connection with nature and society is a testament to the power of memoir in revealing one’s innermost thoughts and motivations.

The 20th century brought even more diversity to the genre with the likes of Ernest Hemingway’s “A Moveable Feast” (1964), a posthumous collection of the author’s memories of his time among the expatriate community in 1920s Paris.

Tripping on the intersecting lives of fellow writers such as Ezra Pound and Gertrude Stein , the memoir paints a vivid picture of the Jazz Age’s artistic milieu.

Another influential work from this period is George Orwell’s “Homage to Catalonia” (1938), which documents his experiences fighting on the Republican side during the Spanish Civil War. The combination of Orwell’s journalistic skills and personal involvement in the conflict results in a gripping account that highlights the complexities of a divided Spain and the ideological struggles that defined the 1930s.

As you can discern, memoirs offer unique insights into the lives of extraordinary individuals. By reading these diverse accounts, you gain a deeper understanding of the world’s rich tapestry of experiences, which has shaped the course of human history.

Functions of Memoir

Memoir is a reflection of personal history.

A memoir allows you to share your life experiences and memories. In doing so, you reflect on your personal history and the events that have shaped who you are today. This process of reflection can lead to a greater understanding and appreciation of your past and your role in it, as well as the lessons learned and wisdom gained.

Memoir Has Therapeutic Effects

Writing a memoir often has therapeutic effects on the author. It can serve as a means for processing painful or unresolved experiences, allowing you to gain new insights and perspectives on your life. Through this process, you may find a sense of healing and personal growth that you may not have achieved otherwise.

Memoir Educates

A memoir can educate readers about different times, cultures, and ways of life. By sharing your personal experiences and memories, you can provide a unique window into a world that others may not have had the opportunity to experience themselves. Your memoir can engage readers in a way that traditional education methods may not, making your story an invaluable learning resource.

Memoir Inspires

Your memoir can inspire others to persevere and overcome challenges in their own lives. By sharing your resilience, determination, and growth, you may help readers find the strength and motivation to face their struggles and pursue their dreams. Your life experiences may also inspire others to take action, change their perspectives, or pursue new opportunities.

Memoir Preserves Legacy

Writing a memoir is a way to preserve your legacy and ensure your story lives on for future generations. Through your memoir, you can pass down your experiences, values, and beliefs, allowing readers to learn from your life and appreciate the inheritance of wisdom and knowledge you have provided.

Memoir Encourages Dialogue

By sharing your memoir, you invite readers into an open dialogue about the shared human experience. This dialogue can foster understanding, stimulate discussion, and promote introspection among readers, encouraging them to engage in meaningful conversations about their own lives and experiences.

Memoir Cultivates Empathy

Reading a memoir exposes you to the thoughts, feelings, and emotions of the author. By delving into someone else’s life, you develop a better understanding of their experiences and an increased ability to empathize with others. This heightened empathy can lead you to connect more deeply with those around you, fostering a sense of compassion and humanity.

Memoir Reveals Truth

Memoir writing often reveals personal truths and realities that may have remained hidden or misunderstood. By sharing your story, you expose your vulnerabilities, triumphs, and fears, inviting readers to embrace your authentic self.

Through the process of writing and sharing your memoir, you allow others to gain insights into your life and discover the genuine experiences that lie beneath the surface.

Characteristics of Memoir

Memoir is personal.

A memoir is a personal account of your life experiences and memories. It allows you to delve into your own history, exploring the events, emotions, and characters that have shaped your journey. These memories can be vividly detailed, giving readers a sense of intimacy and connection with your story.

Memoir Is Reflective

In a memoir, you not only recount your memories but also reflect on their meaning. This involves examining your beliefs, emotions, and reactions and considering how your experiences have shaped your character and choices.

Reflective writing helps readers understand the significance of your memoir, providing depth and insight into your life.

Memoir Is Truthful

Honesty is an essential aspect of a memoir. Your goal is to convey the truth of your experiences, thoughts, and feelings, not to create a fictional story. While memories may be imperfect, strive to be as accurate and genuine as possible. This transparency lends credibility to your memoir and deepens the reader’s connection with your story.

Memoir Is Focused

A memoir should have a clear, focused theme or central idea. This could be a particular phase of your life, a significant relationship, or a life-changing event. By concentrating on a specific aspect of your life, you can create a cohesive narrative that engages and informs readers.

Memoir Has a Narrative Arc

While a memoir is based on your memories and experiences, it should still follow a narrative structure. A narrative arc includes a beginning , middle , and end , with a clear progression of events, conflicts, and resolutions. This helps to propel your story forward, keeping readers invested in your journey.

Memoir Is Detailed

To create a vivid and captivating memoir, include specific sensory details that evoke memories and emotions. Consider sights, smells, sounds, tastes, and textures when recounting your experiences. These details not only paint a rich, immersive picture but also make your story more relatable and memorable for readers.

Memoir Is Evocative

A successful memoir elicits reactions and emotions from the reader, creating a deep connection to your story. Use vivid language and authentic emotions to convey the essence of your experiences, allowing readers to feel what you felt and empathize with your journey.

Memoir Offers Insight

As you recount your experiences, consider the lessons you’ve learned and the insights you’ve gained. By sharing your unique perspective and personal revelations, you offer readers a valuable window into your world, encouraging them to reflect on their own lives and experiences.

Memoir Is Immersive

Your memoir should draw readers into your world, allowing them to experience your life as you lived it. Provide context for your memories, such as historical or cultural backdrop, so that readers better understand your experiences. By fully immersing your readers in your world, your memoir becomes a more enriching and engaging experience.

Memoir Is Transformative

A powerful memoir not only recounts your memories and emotions but also illustrates your growth and transformation. Address the impact of your experiences and the ways in which they have shaped your beliefs, values, or identity. This journey of personal growth resonates with readers, making your memoir a transformative reading experience.

Elements of Memoir

Personal perspective.

In a memoir, you share your personal experiences and perspectives. This form of writing allows you to delve into your memories and connect with your readers on a deeper level. You need to be open about your thoughts, feelings, and perceptions in order to create an engaging and authentic story.

Narrative Structure

Your memoir should have a clear narrative structure with a beginning , middle , and end . This will help your readers follow your story and understand the progression of your experiences. Use chronological order, or experiment with non-linear timelines, flashbacks, or parallel storylines to add depth to your narrative.

Reflection and Insight

Reflection is key in a memoir. You should examine the meaning behind your experiences and the lessons you learned from them. By exploring your memories, you can gain insight into your past and present self. This process of self-discovery can be enlightening for both you and your readers.

A memoir requires honesty and transparency. Be open about your feelings, thoughts, and actions, even if it makes you vulnerable. By being truthful, you will create a strong connection with your readers and allow them to empathize with your experiences.

Vivid Details

In your writing, include vivid details to capture the essence of your experiences. Use descriptive language to paint a clear picture of the events and settings of your story. By doing this, you will allow your readers to immerse themselves in your world fully.

Dialogue plays a crucial role in bringing your memoir to life. Use authentic conversations to enhance your narrative and reveal aspects of your relationships with other characters. Ensure that your dialogue sounds natural and reflects the emotions and personalities of the characters involved.

A strong theme can give your memoir a sense of purpose and direction. Identify the central theme or overarching message you want to convey through your story. This could be related to personal growth, relationships, overcoming adversity, or other aspects of your life.

Character Development

Your characters should be well-developed and multidimensional. Show the complexities of their personalities, emotions, and motivations. Focus on both their strengths and weaknesses, and demonstrate how they evolved over time. Remember to treat yourself as a character as well, and display your growth throughout the memoir.

Set the stage for your narrative by describing the settings in which your experiences took place. Provide clear, detailed descriptions that help your readers visualize the locations and understand their importance in your story.

Conflict drives any compelling narrative, and your memoir should be no exception. Address the conflicts you faced, whether they were internal or external. Show how you confronted these challenges, and illustrate the impact they had on your life.

Structure of Memoir

Introduction.

When writing a memoir, you should start with an engaging introduction that sets the stage for your narrative and draws readers in. Use descriptive language and vivid imagery to establish the setting, characters, and context.

In the exposition, provide background information about your life, including key moments and characters. This helps readers understand your story and connects them to your experiences. Organize your exposition around themes or milestones to maintain a consistent narrative.

Inciting Incident

Identify the inciting incident — the event or situation that prompts you to tell your story. This event should hook the reader’s interest and set your memoir in motion, revealing the purpose behind your narrative.

Rising Action

During the rising action, build tension and drama by recounting events that lead up to the climax. Develop your characters and their relationships, share memorable anecdotes, and explore the emotional impact of these experiences on your life.

Reach the climax, or turning point, in your memoir. This moment should be emotionally charged, presenting a conflict or challenge that you must overcome. The climax is a critical part of the narrative, as it demonstrates personal growth and transformation.

Falling Action

Detail the events that follow the climax in the falling action. Show the consequences of your choices and explore how you grapple with the aftermath of the climax. This section should begin to wrap up your narrative while illustrating the lessons learned.

In the resolution, wrap up the main storyline and resolve any lingering conflicts or questions. Reflect on the journey you’ve shared, and explain how your experiences have shaped the person you are today.

Take time to reflect on the impact of your memoir and the lessons you’ve learned. Delve into your feelings and thoughts, and share how your life has changed as a result of your experiences.

Epilogue (optional)

An optional epilogue can be included to provide an update on your life or the lives of the characters in your memoir. It offers a sense of closure and allows readers to see how your story continues to unfold.

Themes of Memoir

Coming of age.

In this memoir theme, you write about your transformation from childhood to adulthood, focusing on pivotal moments that shaped your character and beliefs. You can explore various experiences, friendships, and learnings that helped you grow into the person you are today.

The theme of identity allows you to delve deep into your personal history, exploring how your cultural, ethnic, or religious background has shaped your life. This theme often tackles your struggles and milestones, as well as your acceptance and pride regarding your unique identity.

Survival-themed memoirs explore stories of resilience, whether in the face of adversity, trauma, or challenges. You can share your experiences of overcoming obstacles and the lessons learned through perseverance and determination.

Healing and Recovery

Memoirs with a healing and recovery theme display a journey toward inner peace and overcoming struggles with physical or emotional challenges. You can delve into your experiences navigating the healing process with honesty and vulnerability.

Love and Relationships

This theme focuses on the different relationships that have played a significant role in your life. You can write about romantic encounters, friendships, and family bonds you’ve shared over the years, along with the triumphs and tribulations that come with forming connections.

Journey and Transformation

Journey and transformation memoirs chronicle significant life changes and experiences that contributed to your growth. You can explore personal discoveries, epiphanies, or impactful events that transformed your view of the world or yourself.

Struggle and Resilience

By writing about personal struggles and resilience, you can share honest and raw accounts of the challenges you’ve faced and how you’ve overcome them. You can reveal the resilience and inner strength that carried you through difficult times.

Search for Meaning or Purpose

In this theme, you can express your inner quest to find meaning or purpose in life. You can share your philosophical reflections, spiritual awakenings, or life-changing lessons learned through personal search or exploration.

Cultural or Social Commentary

Cultural or social commentary memoirs give you the opportunity to discuss your personal experiences in a broader societal context. You can address issues of cultural identity, social norms, or broader historical events that affected you and your community.

Loss and Grief

A memoir about loss and grief provides an opportunity to explore the emotions and struggles you’ve faced in times of sorrow. You can share your journey of grief, the memories of your loved ones, and the impact they had on your life.

Types of Memoir

Personal memoir.

In a personal memoir, you focus on your own life experiences and emotions. You dive into specific moments, relationships, and challenges that have shaped your identity. Personal memoirs often reveal intimate details about a person’s life and thoughts as they recount those events.

Portrait Memoir

A portrait memoir focuses on the life of someone else. You, as the writer, can observe and reflect on the person’s experiences and give an account of their life, allowing readers to have a better understanding of that individual. It can be about someone you know closely or an admired figure you studied.

Coming-Of-Age Memoir

A coming-of-age memoir revolves around your journey from childhood to adulthood. It usually deals with major life events and transformations you face during adolescence. These memoirs often provide insights into the societal and cultural aspects of the time that influenced your growth and development.

Spiritual Quest Memoir

A spiritual quest memoir details your journey exploring spirituality and seeking meaningful answers to life’s biggest questions. It usually entails experiences with religious practices, beliefs, or spiritual teachers and the lessons learned from those encounters.

Travel Memoir

Travel memoirs are all about your adventures in different places. They involve your experiences and reflections while exploring new locations, cultures, and ways of living. These memoirs often provide vivid descriptions of the places you’ve visited, allowing readers to feel like they’re experiencing those journeys alongside you.

Confessional Memoir

A confessional memoir is characterized by its raw honesty and openness about your inner thoughts and darkest secrets. You share your emotions and vulnerabilities, allowing readers to connect with your personal challenges and triumphs. It can be therapeutic for the writer and provide comfort for the reader who may relate to those experiences.

Political Memoir

A political memoir covers your life in connection to your political career or beliefs. It focuses on your role in shaping or observing pivotal political events and movements during your lifetime. These memoirs offer a unique behind-the-scenes perspective on historical events and the individuals involved.

Public or Celebrity Memoir

Public or celebrity memoirs are written by or about well-known figures, exploring their lives and the experiences that led to their rise to fame or prominence. These memoirs often reveal previously untold stories and personal insights that help paint a more complete picture of the public figure.

Examples of Memoirs in Different Formats

Memoirs in books, film and television, graphic memoirs, memoirs in music, importance of memoir, memoir is a gateway to empathy.

Reading memoirs allows you to walk in another person’s shoes and glimpse their life experiences. By delving into their stories, you can develop empathy and better understand the challenges and emotions they have faced.

Memoir Provides Insight

Memoirs offer insights into the author’s thought processes, choices, and motivations. As you read, you may gain valuable lessons and inspiration that can be applied to your own life or the lives of those around you.

Memoir Acts as A Historical Record

Memoirs serve as personal accounts of historical events, providing a unique perspective that may not be captured in textbooks or mainstream media. They help preserve a piece of history, enriching your understanding of the world and its past.

Memoir Demonstrates Resilience

Memoirs often detail an individual’s journey through adversity and the triumphs they achieved along the way. These stories can inspire you to face your own challenges with courage and determination.

A Memoir Has Therapeutic Value

Writing or reading a memoir can be a cathartic process, allowing you to examine your own emotions, relationships, and experiences. This can lead to personal growth and healing.

Memoir Contributes to Cultural Preservation

Memoirs help preserve and pass on cultural heritage by documenting customs, traditions, and folklore. By reading and sharing memoirs, you can contribute to keeping these cultural aspects alive for future generations.

Memoir Builds Connection

Reading about someone’s life experiences can create a bond between you and the author, fostering a sense of connection. This can lead to increased empathy and understanding, not only towards the author but towards others as well.

Memoir Spurs Social Change

Memoirs can raise awareness of important issues and injustices, prompting readers to reconsider their own beliefs and take action. By sharing your story, you may inspire others to make a difference in their own communities.

Memoir Is an Exploration of Self

Writing a memoir requires reflection and introspection, leading to a deeper understanding of who you are, your values, and your experiences. As a reader, you may also identify with aspects of the author’s life, prompting self-discovery and personal growth.

Writing Your Own Memoir

Choosing a theme and focus.

When you start your memoir, it’s essential to identify a central theme or focus. Consider your life experiences and the key moments that have shaped you. It might be a period of personal transformation, a specific relationship, or a significant event.

With this theme in mind, narrow down the scope of your memoir to include only the most relevant experiences that directly contribute to your narrative. This will give your memoir a clear direction and make it more engaging for the reader.

Developing Your Writing Style

As an author, you need to find the best writing style to convey your memoir. An effective way to develop your writing style is by reading other memoirs and analyzing their narrative techniques. You can then experiment with different approaches, such as writing in the present or past tense, using first or third-person perspectives, and incorporating descriptive language.

Pay attention to the rhythm and pacing of your story as well. Maintaining a balance between introspective reflection and vivid descriptions of your experiences is crucial in keeping your readers engaged and invested in your memoir.

Publishing and Sharing

Once you’ve completed your memoir, it’s time to consider how you want to share it with the world. You have a few options for publishing, such as traditional publishing, self-publishing, or even posting your work online through a blog or website.

If you choose traditional publishing , you might need to find a literary agent to represent your work and submit it to publishers on your behalf. Do some research on the publishing industry and the types of memoirs that are currently successful, as this will give you an idea of what publishers are looking for in new authors.

Self-publishing , on the other hand, allows you more control over the creative process and content of your memoir. Platforms like Amazon’s Kindle Direct Publishing make it easy to publish your work, set your own pricing, and retain full rights to your story. This option may involve additional effort with formatting and marketing, but it also allows you to reach a wide audience quickly.

Sharing your memoir through a personal blog or website is another great way to connect with readers while maintaining creative control. You can build an online presence and interact directly with your audience, gathering feedback and fostering a community around your work.

Frequently Asked Questions

Do memoirs have to be written in the first person.

Yes, memoirs are typically written in the first person. As a memoir is a personal account of your own experiences, using the first-person perspective (I, me, my) help you convey the story more intimately to your readers.

This approach allows the readers to see events from your perspective and understand your emotions and thoughts throughout the journey.

What is the difference between a memoir and a personal essay?

While both memoirs and personal essays offer a deep dive into the author’s personal perspectives, they differ considerably in terms of their scope and depth.

A memoir typically focuses on a specific period, event, or theme in an individual’s life, spanning a larger timeframe and delving deeply into the author’s personal experiences. It’s story-driven and emphasizes the growth or transformation the author has undergone through these experiences.

In contrast, a personal essay generally has a broader scope, covering an array of topics, ideas, or reflections. It tends to be shorter in length and may focus on exploring a single idea, thought, or concept.

Unlike a memoir, a personal essay may not necessarily share a personal narrative. It could lean more towards being opinion-based or analytical, offering a distinctive viewpoint or critical analysis on a particular subject.

How truthful does a memoir need to be?

The process of writing a memoir calls for a commitment to truth, although minor discrepancies or narrative adjustments are generally accepted. The crucial aspect is to preserve the essential truth of your experiences and emotions.

In striving for accuracy, it’s important to adhere to the facts as you remember them without amplifying events or experiences for dramatic effect.

Honesty plays a pivotal role, requiring you to delve into your feelings, thoughts, and motivations during the incidents you’re describing. This earnest portrayal of your emotions imparts authenticity to your memoir, making it more relatable.

The memoir’s perspective should reflect that it’s grounded in your personal recollections and interpretations of events. However, it’s critical to understand and respect that others might remember or perceive the same events differently.

As we conclude this exploration into the world of memoirs, it’s clear to see the unique and powerful role they play in literature. With their potent blend of personal experience and broader insights, memoirs not only offer readers an intimate look into someone else’s life but also provide a mirror for them to reflect on their own experiences.

Whether you’re an aspiring writer, an avid reader, or simply a lover of stories, understanding memoirs enriches our grasp of the human experience in all its complexity. They remind us that every life is a narrative worth telling, full of lessons, growth, and profound moments that shape us. From the personal to the universal, memoirs are an enduring testament to our shared journey through life.

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Aerielle Ezra

CRAFT: What’s the Difference Between Memoir and Personal Essay? by Suzanne Farrell Smith

January 11, 2022.

It’s the most common question my creative nonfiction students ask. We know memoir and personal essay overlap. Both tell true stories from the author’s life with intimacy and honesty. And both are crafted with literary devices: scene, dialogue, sensory detail… That’s what makes creative nonfiction compelling. We love true stories and we love to be entertained.

So where do they differ? To answer, I draw from several resources on writing creative nonfiction and illustrate with two Hippocampus pieces. By my measure, memoir and personal essay differ along four lines: focus, mining, voice, and sense.

• Focus on Self vs. Focus on Relating

The memoirist focuses on the self and what has changed over time. Readers may identify— I went through something similar or I changed in the same way —but the memoirist’s driving force is self-exploration.

In the memoir essay “Fits and Starts,” Matthew Zanoni Müller tells a short, significant story about an afternoon in childhood as a relatively new immigrant to the United States. Müller’s friend, David, coaxes him out of the house and into the world. While Müller’s descriptions of David and others are important to the story, we really only know Müller. We are inside his child mind, being pushed, gently, along with him, step by step.

The personal essayist focuses on the self, too, but seeks to relate. Where, in culture, place, and time, does her story fit in? Which of her questions do others ask? Accordingly, we talk about personal essay’s “universal theme.” The writer paints herself against the backdrop of humanity.

Linda Anne Silver announces the universal with her title, “The Capacity of a Human.” In the wake of her daughter’s death, Silver searches for a new normal that incorporates profound grief. With her husband, she travels around Lake Superior, and along the way gains insight from novelists, fellow travelers, parents of children who’ve died in mass tragedies, and the lake itself.

• Memory Mining vs. Experiential Mining

My boys love the game Minecraft, gathering materials to build underwater palaces and schools in the sky. Where you mine determines what you find. The same goes for writing. The memoirist “relies almost solely on memory,” writes Sue William Silverman in “The Meandering River.” He mines his mind, perhaps consults artifacts from his past.

In Müller’s memoir, all the important details, the who-and-what and beginning-middle-end, come from the author’s memory. “Mostly we’d play with cars,” he recalls, “arranging them in a long line and driving them slowly down the hallway toward the bedroom, moving each one forward an inch at a time.” Müller remembers how playtime mirrored the halting way he adapted to the U.S. “ Autoschlange , I called it, and my friend understood what it meant, because his father was German too.”

The personal essayist mines her memory, too, but also mines the landscape of her evolving life. She collects data and processes in-the-moment interactions.

Silver writes, “I examine things and snap photos, acting as a tourist.” We understand she is not just examining flora, fauna, and food, but also the circumstances, the places hope might surface. She draws from the novel Grief is the Thing with Feathers to understand “the crow of grief had moved in with us when Allison was first diagnosed.” She sets herself apart from “[t]he parents of Newtown or Manchester or Aleppo” while associating with all parents who’ve lost a child. She even researches on the page: “I try Googling, ‘Ontario stone piles,’ on my phone, but there’s no signal here.”

• Voices vs. Voice

Memoir contains multiple voices, including, at minimum, the voices of the past self and present self (what Sue William Silverman calls “song of innocence” and “song of experience”). Voices speak to readers, who reply. Someone who knows a memoirist might say, I had no idea that happened to you .

Müller’s memoir is entirely from his young self’s point of view. That big world he was persuaded to explore? A car, a grocery store, David’s house… places that, to a child in a new country, loomed large. “I was happy,” Müller’s child-voice writes, “because I knew that … soon we’d come back down and around the block and I’d be home again.” Moments later, as his child voice considers turning back, his adult voice offers meaning: “I didn’t want to compromise the heroic feelings I had just earned.”

In personal essay, one voice dominates. The narrator is a current version of the author who opines, worries, delights, fears. Friends might listen and say, I had no idea you felt that way .

Silver wrestles with herself. “Our daughter’s death feels like a failure,” she admits, “as if we weren’t paying attention when danger stalked.” She notices beauty for the first time since the death, then wonders how she’ll ever find it again. She questions, doubts, and guesses, seemingly in real time. There’s no divide between innocence and experience: the song is both.

• Past Sense vs. Present Sense

Memoir conveys a sense of the past, even if the events happened recently. The author has emerged and looks back to articulate meaning. Whether written in past or present tense, what’s palpable is the past sense . The author asks, what happened?

Müller signals the past sense with his opening line: “The first couple years we were in America…” It’s a before-time story, one that proved pivotal in some way. The author can examine the past because his life is different now. To underscore, Müller uses the past real conditional tense: “We’d play under the shadows of the cherry trees.” Memoirists use this tense to convey the general past in a way that feels both fresh and wistful.

In personal essay, there’s a sense things aren’t buttoned up. The author writes not to articulate meaning, but to find meaning in the first place. Personal essay feels open, like a thought experiment. The author asks, what is happening?

Silver’s first paragraph lists inspirations for her trip, ending with, “the need comes after our fifty-year-old daughter dies on a midsummer’s morning and we are numb: wanting to flee the sadness, not knowing how to move forward.” She’s in limbo: “I don’t know the answer, don’t know how I should grieve.” She repeatedly questions. About a missed chance to see the northern lights, she wonders, “Had we seen them, I might have latched on to the experience as a sign of—what? Hope? Resolution? Transformation?”

It’s true that memoir and personal essay often blend. New, hybrid forms emerge. Undefinable forms. So why draw lines between them?

I tell my students that understanding is power; when you get into your writing workshop, sharpen your tools, practice your craft moves, shape your piece . If we know what makes a memoir, we can push that much deeper into our past, search for the particular nerve that will animate our past selves, give us ah-ha insights. And if we know what makes a personal essay, we can reach that much wider into the tangle of free-floating human stories, search for, maybe even find, connections that change everything.

References and Resources:

• Faulkner, Sandra L., and Sheila Squillante. Writing the Personal: Getting Your Stories onto the Page . Rotterdam, The Netherlands: Brill | Sense, 2016.
• Miller, Brenda, and Suzanne Paola. Tell It Slant: Writing and Shaping Creative Nonfiction. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill, 2005.
• Müller, Matthew Zanoni. “ Fits and Starts .” Hippocampus Magazine (December 2013).
• Silver, Linda Anne. “ The Capacity of a Human .” Hippocampus Magazine (May 2020).
• Silverman, Sue William. “The Meandering River.” The Writer’s Chronicle (September 2008).

Meet the Contributor

  2 comments for “ CRAFT: What’s the Difference Between Memoir and Personal Essay? by Suzanne Farrell Smith ”

This was so helpful, I even took notes! Thank you for writing this.

As fabulous as ever, Suzanne. Love, Aunt Mary

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Memoir coach and author Marion Roach

Welcome to The Memoir Project, the portal to your writing life.

How to Write A Memoir in Essays

Sorting the Stories — Memoir as Essay Collection

by Linda Styles Berkery

When I told a friend that I was taking a memoir-writing class, she replied, “Your life just isn’t that interesting.” Obviously she was thinking autobiography , not understanding memoir . I ignored her comment and continued to write about the small threads of wisdom I’ve learned.

After many edits, additions, and subtractions, I had built a wardrobe. I had a collection of fourteen personal essays—each one told through the lens of a dress. A Little Black Dress —learning compassion as illustrated by growing up in a funeral home. Memory Gown —naming mistakes as illustrated by a trip to the ER. Red Mini —seeing individuals as illustrated by teaching third grade. Ordinary dresses can bring out profound lessons.

Since all the writing pieces were in essay format, I adjusted Marion Roach Smith’s famous writing math, It’s about X as illustrated by Y to be told in a Z , and made a chart. To my Z factor, (essays) I added color and noted the dress: a turquoise paisley print, a navy maternity dress, an orange Hawaiian muumuu, a yellow sundress from 1941, a blue velvet jumper.

Each essay could stand alone, yet a book kept coming to mind. It was not enough to say I have a collection of “dress stories” of different length and various moods. I had more work to do. Although my structure would not be typical of a book length memoir (Act 1, Act 2, Act 3), even memoir as an essay collection must have an overall arc—a roof overhead, not just dress threads running through. Yes, memoir can be an essay collection, but it still needs structure and order.

I printed each story individually and laid them across my living room carpet. I knew which essay to put first and which would be last, but the other twelve? Originally I was tempted to group them. These three relate to my father’s WWII stories—put them together. Two had childhood dresses. My husband was mentioned in this group. But nothing really worked until my wonderful editor, Robyn Ringler, passed along tips she had learned from her own writing coach.

“Mix them up,” Robyn suggested. “Vary the word count. Don’t try to force the order, but pay attention to the emotions and lessons in the stories. Then, after you collect everything in the order you think might work, read the last paragraph of one story and the first paragraph of the following story and see if that works. You might need to do that process a few times.”

Robyn was right. I did arrange the essays a few times. But since these were, after all, dress stories, I got creative. If I had a photo of the dress, or a scrap of material from the dress, I stapled it to the printed page. Clearing a closet rod, I hung each essay from fourteen skirt hangers and started arranging them for a book. (Don’t try this at home.) I moved them and moved them until I could see a lovely rainbow arc for the entire collection.

When I was finally comfortable with the flow, I released my dress stories from their hangers and returned to the computer to cut and paste the individual essays into one long document. More edits. Moving paragraphs. Breaking up stories into parts. Adding just a bit more here and there. Writing an introduction and a final note to the reader. Two years after I wrote the first “dress story” for a memoir class, the book was published as Reflections: A Wardrobe of Life Lessons. Memoir, like a classic great dress, never goes out of style.

From the Introduction:

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.

—Helen Hayes

At ten, I wasn’t the moody middle child wanting to be noticed, as much as the one who always seemed to notice. I was the sorter of stories, the keeper of traditions. Reaching up, or out, or down, I saw invisible threads that joined people together. I still do. Now, at seventy, I’m connecting more strands. And dresses are coaching my memory.

Three hard white suitcases live under my bed. I yank out the middle one and plop it on the blue star quilt. I’m not loading it up for a trip; it’s already full. I know what’s inside: dresses, scraps of fabric from dresses, and old photos. Clicking on the double locks feels like opening a black box of flight recordings. Messages vibrate from crinkles and creases, stains and frills. Memories rise from cotton, velvet, and silk—fibers from my journey through life.

Wisdom remains on the fold of one dress. I smooth a wrinkle and kindness appears. When I trace my pinky over white lace, I remember letting go. Hope is in there too, along with judgment, loss, compassion, forgiveness…a wardrobe of memories just waiting to be unpacked. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.” I agree. But sometimes a life lesson can also be worn as a dress.

  Excerpt from a middle essay:  Navy Maternity

My first maternity outfit was a long-sleeved navy blue dress from Sears that I bought for my father’s wake and funeral. I wore it again on Father’s Day and then buried it under the lilac bush in my childhood backyard, watering the ground with my tears. The words from a homily echoed in my head. Ritualize where you are now . That’s what I was doing—dressing a wound by burying a dress…

The moment I stepped out of that dress, I felt different. Lighter. Aware. I was carrying a new life—had been all along—but now I could finally breathe. I glanced in the mirror and saw myself as a mother-to-be. I shoved the dress in the bag and tossed it in the car. The dress was easy to remove, but not the grief. Shifting my focus to new life, I decided to take one small step.

The following week, on my final day of teaching elementary school, I drove to my childhood home only two blocks away. I pulled the navy maternity dress from the white plastic bag. My mother was at work. But I didn’t need her. I knew where my father’s garden tools were kept. I grabbed a shovel and began digging in the dirt near the lilac bush—Dad’s favorite bush. It didn’t take long to scoop a hole big enough to bury a death dress…

Excerpt from the final essay: Dressing for a Reunion

At the Hyatt Regency Hotel near Dulles Airport, I’m wearing the same tri-colored dress that I wore for my 50 th  high school reunion in 2016—it’s mostly blue, with bands of black and white. I call it my past-present-future dress. The dress is making an encore appearance in 2017 at a different reunion tonight.  Can it really be called a reunion if we’ve never met?  My husband tells me to hurry. We exit the elevator and enter a full dining room. The celebration begins.

Arms reach across the table to shake my hand. A shoulder nudges close. I feel a tap on my back. Legs move toward me. Fingers clasp. Another arm extends around my waist. Then hugs, so many embraces and tears. I am aware of my middle-ness. I am a quiet middle child, in the middle of a loud story. I am in the middle of history, in the middle of generations, in the middle of Danish fishermen and American flyers. I’m standing in the middle of memory and expectation because I did what middle children do best—I made connections…

Author’s bio: Linda Styles Berkery holds an M.A. from Russell Sage College. Linda taught third grade, led retreats and worked in parish ministry. Her writings on faith/life have been published in various magazines, blogs and books. Her new book is Reflections: A Wardrobe of Life Lessons. 

HOW TO WIN A COPY OF THE BOOK I hope you enjoy Writing Lessons. Featuring well-published writers of our favorite genre, each installment takes on one short topic addressing how to write memoir. It’s my way of saying thanks for coming by. Love the author featured above? Did you learn something in the how-to? Then you’ve got to read the book. And you can. I am giving away one copy, and all you have to do to win is leave a comment below about something you learned from the writing lesson or the excerpt. I’ll draw winners at random (using the tool at random dot org) after entries close at midnight on May 15, 2019. Good luck!

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Related posts:

• Writing Lessons: Picking Small Topics To Write About
• Writing Lessons: Finding Time to Write
• Writing Lessons: How to Write About A Difficult Subject, by Bette Lynch Husted

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Reader interactions.

Amy Laundrie says

April 14, 2019 at 7:37 am

I found this extremely helpful. I’m a columnist for “The Wisconsin Dells Events” and am searching for a way to connect my “Slice of Life” columns into a second memoir. My first, “Laugh, Cry, Reflect: Stories From a Joyful Heart” includes pieces on nature, my pet ducklings, antidotes about my teaching career, and family stories. I appreciate the tips on how memoirists should make sure the last paragraph of one piece ties in with the first paragraph of the next and I think using dresses as a uniting metaphor was brilliant. I’m eager to read your book.

April 14, 2019 at 10:50 am

Dear Amy, I appreciate your kind words. I had a lot of fun using dresses as a thread through the essays. I would love to read your own slices of life columns. Marion has helped all of us go small. Linda

Susan Davies says

April 14, 2019 at 8:05 am

I love this concept! I have been so stuck in my writing, feeling overwhelmed. I had contemplated this approach but was so unsure….this lesson just gave me that push! Wish me luck! Thank you for your lessons! I enjoy them so much!

April 14, 2019 at 10:54 am

Susan, This is great news. I found all the writing lessons to be so helpful in my own work and I am honored that sharing my experience can help nudge you today. It is so good to give back. My editor, Robyn Ringler shared these tips from her own writing teacher so we are helping each other to gain movement. Linda

Laura McKowen says

April 14, 2019 at 8:09 am

Your content is so very helpful, Marion. About nine months ago, I read your book, and then I was on one of your calls. What I learned helped me focus, organize, and finish my manuscript for my first book, a memoir about sobriety. I sent it to my publisher last week. :) Thank you!

April 14, 2019 at 10:57 am

Marion’s content has always been so helpful to me too. Congratulations on completing your story.

David Sofi says

April 14, 2019 at 8:10 am

Excellent lesson and piece by Ms. Berkery. Especially resonating was the bit about Robyn’s advice from her writing coach. I will have that posted on my Writing Wall. I also tingled with her modification of The Algorithm (That is my personal emphasis of Marion’s lesson, it is so insightful and meaningful.)

Linda Berkery says

April 14, 2019 at 8:31 am

Marion’s writing math made each essay possible and I held it in mind throughout the entire book. Robyn RIngler’s advice pulled the entire collection together. Thank you for your comments.

Careen says

April 14, 2019 at 8:14 am

I want this book! Not only for its content, but because it illustrates the principles Marion puts forth.

April 14, 2019 at 11:34 am

Careen, I hope you continue to find help from the writing lessons and the wisdom from Marion. I surely did. Linda

Ginger Hudock says

April 14, 2019 at 8:16 am

This was wonderful post! The book would be something I could relate to because my age (61) and the metaphor of dresses. This is a great and doable way to structure a book as a series of essays. It seems much more doable for me. I am comfortable writing blog posts and magazine articles, but the thought of a long book is overwhelming sometimes.

April 14, 2019 at 11:01 am

Ginger, I am with you on the thoughts of a long book. It seemed too much for me. I was so happy to find that a series of essays was a reachable goal and Marion gave good feedback when I shared that I was attempting to do just that – she reminded me that I still needed an overall arc in order to print them together as a book. I hope you continue.

April 14, 2019 at 8:30 am

Breaking up the writing into smaller, more manageable pieces seems to tame the bigger writing project, sticking to the algorithm in each section. I loved seeing the process of finding the structure of the book, which is my biggest challenge.

April 14, 2019 at 11:40 am

Dear Beth, Smaller pieces worked so well for this collection. And yes, with each essay I made sure to follow the writing math. I kept asking myself what is this about ? Although told through the lens of a dress, it wasn’t about the dress… it was about a universal theme. Thank you for your thoughts. Linda

April 14, 2019 at 8:35 am

I can’t tell you how often I used Marion’s book and notes from her course as I was completing this book. Such good advice.

Elizabeth says

April 14, 2019 at 8:38 am

I flipped through my closet in my mind – many ideas there for essays, including the ban on trousers for women in my high school in the sixties, and the godawful bloomers for gym class. Thank you!

April 14, 2019 at 11:09 am

Oh Elizabeth, Our minds must run similar. There is a story about those gym “dresses” from my first P E class at Russell Sage College. And oh yes, a mini dress from my teaching days, when women were not allowed to wear pants, but COULD wear a mini dress three inches above the knees. Keep flipping through your closet in your mind. Clothing is so rich to draw out the memoir essays. Thank you for your post. Linda

Ruth Crates says

April 14, 2019 at 8:59 am

I continue to look for a way to write my memoirs. Essays might be a good fit for me. I love how Linda used an unlikely subject…. dresses – to relate her life experiences. If I don’t win the book, I will buy it…I loved the exerpt about burying her grief. We can all relate to that.

April 14, 2019 at 4:30 pm

Dear Ruth, I do hope that you will continue to write memoir. I found that essays were a perfect length. Mine ranged from about 800 to 1200 words in the book. Some had several parts but each one could be read alone which helped me continue. I am happy whenever someone considers the book, the proceeds are going to assist a local thrift store, called ReStyle, from Unity House in Troy. When we have some book signings we are also inviting readers to donate a gently used dress. So my unlikely thread of dresses is really being put to good use. Linda

April 14, 2019 at 4:34 pm

Isn’t it amazing how an idea can take off in so many directions! A wonderful way to help others.

April 14, 2019 at 4:40 pm

If you are in the Albany-Troy area look for several benefit book signings on the Facebook page: Reflections: A Wardrobe of Life Lessons

Cynthia C says

April 14, 2019 at 9:04 am

Incredibly helpful hearing about the writing process! I love reading how these authors make decisions about how the final product will look.

April 14, 2019 at 4:36 pm

Cynthia, I always loved reading the writing lessons from Marion’s posts. I was fascinated with the whole process of structure. Linda

Cassandra Hamilton says

April 14, 2019 at 9:41 am

Great post. I appreciate Linda Styles Berkery sharing her process. By breaking her subject into essays she was able to work ideas in smaller sections. I like how when she focused on the larger piece, the book, she turned to a visceral and visual method: hanging up her essays, each represented by a dress, to sort and rearrange until she felt they were right. I would think the photos of the dresses also evoked in her thoughts and feelings and helped her to pack her writing with vivid descriptions. I’m inspired with her process and how she cleverly teased us with snippets of her new work. Thank you!

April 14, 2019 at 4:44 pm

Dear Cassandra, Thanks for your comments. You are right about the visual part. It really helped me to organize the flow of the essays and the overall arc of the book. (And at one point when I realized that I didn’t have a green dress – it brought up a life lesson from an old memoir of a green gym dress!) Linda

Cheryl Hilderbrand says

April 14, 2019 at 10:08 am

Since the excerpts offered here resonated so strongly, I can’t wait to read the rest of the book. Is it just women our age who grew up with dresses who are so emotionally connected to fabric, and tucks, and gathers? A quilt made from childhood dresses keeps me warm, but I worry that I should put it away so that it’s scrapbook, memory-spurring nature can be preserved. The advice from Ms. Berkery’s editor was something I needed to hear . Thank you Marion, Linda, and Robyn.

April 14, 2019 at 4:49 pm

Dear Cheryl, I do think that dresses meant a lot more to us than they do to the next generation. My own adult daughters rarely wear dresses, but they still have emotional and memories attached to clothing. My husband saved his race t-shirts and had them made into a quilt! He no longer runs, only walks due to an injury, but that quilt hangs over his couch reminding him of all those races. Robyn Ringler’s insights (my editor for the book) were so valuable in getting this collection to print. I am glad to pass her advice along. Linda

Jen Chambers says

April 14, 2019 at 10:17 am

I find this very helpful- it solidifies a concept that I’ve been working on for some time of using essays as memoir in my own work. Using a literal thread to hold the narrative together made a great metaphor here. I am intrigued by the structural ideas and hope to get the book!

April 14, 2019 at 5:18 pm

Dear Jen, Thank you for your comments. I hope you continue to use essays as memoir. It really helped me to keep going.. I could focus on one essay at a time. Indeed I kept them in separate folders on my computer until I recognized how to make “dress stories” into a literary closet collection. Best regards,’ Linda

Debbie Morris says

April 14, 2019 at 10:28 am

I’ve had an idea brewing for years now, and this style has opened up a completely new way to join them yet keep them separate. I thoroughly enjoy the teachings here as well as that wonderfully inspiring sampling of essays. I feel energized, thank you!

April 14, 2019 at 6:03 pm

Dear Debbie, Thanks for the comments. I hope this idea keeps brewing and maybe finds a similar outlet. Linda

Barbara Womack says

April 14, 2019 at 10:38 am

I love this concept and have been inspired to use a similar approach in my own (somewhat stalled) writing.

I can’t wait to read this book!

April 14, 2019 at 6:06 pm

Dear Barbara, I am glad to hear about your writing. I wish you well on the journey and am happy that you found this approach to be helpful. Linda

Ann Hutton says

April 14, 2019 at 10:44 am

Excellent! I’m sharing this with a memoir writing group I facilitate. Meanwhile, I call out a “Yes!” to visually laying out your pages to really SEE what you’ve got and how it might fit together. Once I taped 260 pages to three walls in an empty office in order to look at the structure of a memoir manuscript. That’s when I realized that I did indeed have a beginning, middle, and ending! And looking for repetitions or other glaring mistakes was easier this way, rather than trying to read through pages on a computer screen.

Many thanks!

LInda Berkery says

April 14, 2019 at 6:11 pm

Dear Ann, Wow that must have been some wall sight! Yes, I think we sometimes need a visual way to keep us moving forward. Glad that worked for you and thank you for the comments. Best to your writing group. If you send me a personal message on Facebook page for the book. I will send you my “chart” with all the essays. My editor used that page for a talk she was giving on memoir writing. Linda

Merrie Skaggs says

April 14, 2019 at 10:49 am

Linda’s wardrobe structure is brilliant. I learned that I might be able to include an essay I wrote about my dad in my memoir. Also, Linda’s words spoke to me on several levels, or with various threads as she might say. I am still in the unraveling stage of my memoir writing and relish the connections since I am a Marion disciple, have seen my 70th birthday, and taught third grade. I learned much from your charming writing and the lessons you shared. Thank you, Linda, and thank you to our guru Marion. I’m not going to wait to win your book; I plan to buy it, read it, and learn from it now. “. . .bury a death dress. . .” My heart strings are still vibrating.

Linda Styles Berkery says

April 14, 2019 at 11:13 am

Dear Merrie, I am so happy to meet another over 70 writer of memoir. My father’s journey through his WWII experience rescued in the North Sea by Danish fishermen and as a POW is another thread through the collection. The proceeds from this book are also being used to help ReStyle, the thrift store run by Unity House in Troy, NY – my hometown. So buying the book supports a great cause. Thank you. Linda

Carol Gyzander says

April 14, 2019 at 11:00 am

I love the connecting device of the dresses! The first essay excerpt was interesting, but then I found myself curious about how it would be used in the next…and the next…

April 14, 2019 at 4:53 pm

Carol, I am so glad that you found yourself curious about the dresses used and the lessons they told. Sometimes I found myself pondering how a certain dress or saved piece of fabric could bring out so many memoires. What was going on? – You start writing and then you find more and more life experiences coloring the page. Linda

Jan Duffy says

April 14, 2019 at 11:15 am

Thank you Marion for another excellent post. The idea of basing a series of personal essays on a collection of dresses is so good. As I was reading the excerpts I felt as though I was Linda’s alter ego, experiencing every emotion that she did. Good work, I hope I can be as successful in my writing endeavors.

marion says

April 14, 2019 at 2:31 pm

Dear Jan, You are most welcome. Isn’t this a lovely, helpful post? Linda did an excellent job with this and with the book. I am delighted to see you here. Please come back soon. Best, Marion

Thank you Jan and Marion for your kind remarks. Several readers have commented that they felt they were standing right with me as they read. So we touched universal topics – close to our hearts. Linda

Karen Elizabeth Lee says

April 14, 2019 at 11:42 am

Thank you for writing this piece. I have been struggling with structure for my memoir for almost a year! writing short pieces as that is how it seems to be unfolding but then questioning myself – “Is this the right or acceptable format?” “Can I do it this way?” Your insight gives me the courage to follow this path – the essay path – to see where it will lead me! thank you.

April 14, 2019 at 4:57 pm

Dear Karen, I never started out to write a book or a collection. I just began with one essay of a brown plaid dress – a short piece for a writing assignment. I casually remarked, “I could probably write a lot more essays through the lens of a dress…” and I received such encouragement to continue. See where the short pieces lead you. Perhaps you have a collection rather than a traditional memoir book. Blessings for your good work. I am happy that this piece could encourage you. Linda

Cheryl A Kesling says

April 14, 2019 at 2:19 pm

Thank you, Linda, for sharing your story. I’m a 72-year-old struggling writer working on a memoir since 2014. It seems life keeps flying in front of me to the point of building a wall too high to see over. I’ve journaled, keeping track of unimaginable tragic moments and survival. I’ve written words on paper for a critique group but never seems to hit the mark, or at least to my satisfaction. Maybe I’m too hard on myself. Your memoir essay structure is something I’ve been thinking about for a long time but I know that each essay needs a reason or a lesson learned, and that is been my problem. Knowing what lessons I’ve learned is hard to put on paper when one holds back emotions. I’m sure reading your book would be helpful. Maybe making a chart as you did from Marion’s math and color coding for different periods ( as told in a Z- the essay) and using one metaphorical object to push the essays along is the answer for me as well. Thank you again.

April 14, 2019 at 5:06 pm

Dear Cheryl, Thank you for your heartfelt comments. Some essays (lessons) needed space and time before I could write about them. We all tend to be hard on ourselves. Keep writing. and Keep journaling. I found that going back to journals and circling some key memoires allowed me to move toward an essay. But journal writing is different than writing for print and I had to allow some pieces to stay in a journal and not try to force them to be an essay. But making the chart using X, Y, and Z was the most important formula I learned from Marion.

Etty Indriati says

April 14, 2019 at 3:11 pm

I love the excerpt of Linda’s book as it reflects the “what it is about” in Marion’s online course The Memoir Project that I took; and Linda cleverly wrote her book into chapters of personal essays. It makes me want to read the whole book! It is also inspires me to not giving up writing a memoir.

April 14, 2019 at 5:09 pm

Dear Etty, Marion’s outline is a wonderful way to start. I hope you can read the whole book and please don’t give up writing memoir in whatever form it takes. I think reflecting through writing is a blessing. Thank you for the comments. Linda

iliana says

April 14, 2019 at 7:23 pm

Linda, thanks so much for sharing aspects of your writing process! Cut and paste, and I really mean printing the pages, cutting where needed and rearranging, gluing them on another blank page, was my graduate advisor’s way of writing and editing articles, reports and proposals. That’s how I wrote my thesis too, hands on, feeling it. Looking at a dress as a metaphor, so clever! Looking forward to reading your book :)

April 14, 2019 at 7:36 pm

Seems like I did something like that old fashioned cut and paste on my TYPED thesis back in the day. Thanks for your kind remarks. Linda

KRISTA L RUSKIN says

April 14, 2019 at 7:28 pm

OMG. I’ve been struggling with not having lived “an important life” and yet wanting to write a memoir for my kids. My father died when I was 31. I often wished I had received more lessons from him and had them for my kids. In recording my own, 20 years later, on the upside of my life lessons, I’m hoping they see the possibilities for their lives even in The dark days. The idea of writing bits and and pieces of varying length and letting them tell me how to structure the book is liberating. Thank you!

April 15, 2019 at 9:00 pm

Dear Krista, I am happy that you can see your life as memoir worthy as it surely is. My father died when I was 26 and yet his influence is strongly felt in this collection. I wish you all the best for your writing. Linda

Lisa Sonora says

April 15, 2019 at 8:43 am

So many take aways here!

I haven’t read all of the comments, but skimmed, so hope to offer something not shared yet.

First, that you ignored your friends comment about writing about your life.

Then… using Marion’s algorithm for each of the essays (described in the second paragraph) —brilliant!

I too, am a student of Marion, and have been so STUCK on trying to figure out the algorithm for my memoir.

Your piece gave me the idea to look closer at the individual pieces within the book and trying to name what those are really about.

I just love the image of you hanging up your essays like dressed in the wardrobe, and laughed out loud at “don’t try this at home”. Because, yeah, I would try that at home — it make sense to give the writing some physical form that relates to the subject to help see it differently.

Congrats on the publication of your book, Lynda — I cannot wait to read it!

April 15, 2019 at 9:07 pm

Dear Lisa, Thank you for such great comments. Yes, hanging up those dress stories was crazy but a fun way to really see them in place. And it was wonderfully refreshing too. We often need to trust our own instincts sometimes more than the voices of dear but sometimes bossy friends! Best to you for your own writing. Linda

Cathy Baker says

April 15, 2019 at 8:47 am

I love everything about this post as I’m working on a book with mini-memoirs on our building my future writing studio, Tiny House on the Hill. After reading this post, I might consider having fewer chapters with a higher word count. I always learn so much from you, Marion, as well as those you coach. Thank you!

April 15, 2019 at 9:09 pm

I love the idea of mini-memoirs! Great! Thanks for your comments. I have also learned so much from Marion and her writing posts. Linda

Tammy Roth says

April 15, 2019 at 11:51 am

I’m always looking for clever ideas of arranging memoir topics and this is just brilliant. Thank you for sharing the process.

April 15, 2019 at 9:14 pm

Dear Tammy, Arranging those memoir essays was made easier using Robyn’s advice along with Marion’s wisdom. I was honored to share the process with so many interesting writers. Thank you for your comments. Linda

April 16, 2019 at 8:35 pm

Oh my! This came at the most perfect time. I am trying to write a memoir and it keeps running through my mind that I should try doing it in essays. I lost my son to suicide, so it’s about grief, hope, and faith. I loved what Robyn shared with you about connecting the last paragraph of one to the beginning of the next. The excerpts are wonderful. I can’t wait to read the book. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.

April 16, 2019 at 9:01 pm

Dear Faith, I am glad that Robyn ‘s idea might help you find your way through a collection of essays. She suggested the last paragraph and the first one should flow for the reader but they can still stand alone as individual essays. I wish you blessings in your writing. Linda

Naomi Johnson says

April 16, 2019 at 10:51 pm

I LOVED the wonderful advice from her editor, while she was still working out the overarching structure: “pay attention to the emotions and lessons in the stories . . .. Then . . . read the last paragraph of one story and the first paragraph of the following story and see if that works.”

Lovely, indeed!

April 17, 2019 at 7:00 pm

Thank you for your comments. Robyn Ringler and Marion offer such valuable suggestions. And I am grateful. Linda

Melanie says

April 17, 2019 at 2:49 pm

I’m in the process of structuring my next book now. I was right there, with descriptions of white suitcases containing “…fabrics from my journey through life.” I could hear the crinkle of crinoline, and I was reminded of one of my absolute favorite couplets by Joni Mitchell: “Everything comes and goes, marked by lovers and styles of clothes…” As I enjoyed all the other places the piece had taken me, I asked myself, “Do I have milestones (like these dresses) that mark the milestones of my life?” And I realized, I DO! I am a songwriter, so of COURSE, every milestone has a song! Thanks, Marion & Linda for such beautiful and inspiring work.

April 17, 2019 at 5:23 pm

You are most welcome, Melanie. Please come back soon. Best, Marion

April 17, 2019 at 7:06 pm

Thank you for your comments and the great quote! Love it. And nice for me too as my maiden name was Styles. I am glad that you found yourself asking questions about your own milestones.

Teresa Reimer says

April 20, 2019 at 9:12 pm

What a wonderful idea to hang each story and it’s inspiration on a clothes hanger. Organization and expanding on the theme! Can’t get much better than that.

April 22, 2019 at 6:15 pm

Teresa Thanks for your comments. Yes it was definitely different but fun! Linda

Donna P says

April 29, 2019 at 11:36 am

Dear Linda,

Your ideas, along with Marion’s brilliant advice, strike a real chord with me. I, too, have been struggling with the concept of essays within a memoir. Due to health issues, I have not given my book as much attention lately. I’m going to paste this article to my forehead to keep it top of mind! Truly inspirational at a time when I really needed it. Thanks to you and to Marion. I will definitely buy the book.

April 29, 2019 at 12:34 pm

Dear Donna, Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Marion’s advice really helped me stay focused on each individual essay. And I am so happy to know that sharing my experience making a collection of essays could help you move your own writing along. Best to you for your writing. Linda

Gail Gaspar says

Essays in the form of a wardrobe of dresses, yes. I am wondering if my memoir will take the form of essays unified by a theme (I adore metaphors) and you have illustrated how it can done. As a coach, I am happy you listened to your inner voice and not to the friend who remarked, “Your life just isn’t that interesting.” I appreciate how you show, don’t tell, about what each dress represents. The image of your dress stories hanging in your closet is an excellent reminder of how creative and expansive the writing process can be – when we allow it.

Laurie says

May 1, 2019 at 3:10 pm

Marion – This is my first visit to your blog and site. So much info! Thank you! I too am working on a memoir that right now is a collection of stories. This truly resonated with me as I am stuck as to how to pull them together into a book. Linda – your insights and suggestions couldn’t have been more on target. I have already printed them out and moved them about – but I think I need to write a few more – and then piece them together – reading the last para / first para – and adding bits as you suggested. I LOVED reading the excerpt of the book – what a wonderful way to tie the stories together by the dresses. As a writer – I loved that creative idea to tie it all together – and as a reader – each except you shared – I could apply to my own life and my own past closet of dresses! Well done! I would be tickled to win the book and read more!

May 1, 2019 at 5:47 pm

Dear Laurie, Thank you for your thoughtful remarks. Finding Marion’s blog and site is certainly a real gift. I was fortunate to take a class when she was teaching in Troy before everything went online. But look how many more people can be reached. I am delighted that you could relate to the dress stories and find memories arriving from your own closet. I loved making the book a collection/ wardrobe of stories. All the best to you with your own memoir. Linda

May 2, 2019 at 11:52 am

What a lovely way to seamlessly piece together a book! I’m in awe of your process and inspired by the concept! I’ve always struggled to let go of certain garments because of the memories associated with them. Now I understand why: Not only does each one offer a memory, but you’ve proven each one tells a story. I can’t wait to visit your story-closet and read more!

May 2, 2019 at 8:59 pm

Dear Susan, Thank you for your kind remarks. I hope you do visit my “story-closet” as well as peek at some life lessons from your own wardrobe. Linda

Maggie Yoest says

May 3, 2019 at 10:57 am

I am new to memoir writing and have been encouraged by Susan and Marion. Hopefully, as I stay with this, some of the fear will dissipate and the courage to share myself and my view will grow. Thank you both!

May 3, 2019 at 4:00 pm

Maggie, I hope you continue with memoir. Marion is a wonderful guide. Linda

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18 Essay-Length Short Memoirs to Read Online on Your Lunch Break

Emily Polson

Emily Polson is a freelance writer and publishing assistant at Simon & Schuster. Originally from central Iowa, she studied English and creative writing at Belhaven University in Jackson, Mississippi, before moving to a small Basque village to teach English to trilingual teenagers. Now living in Brooklyn, she can often be found meandering through Prospect Park listening to a good audiobook. Twitter: @emilycpolson | https://emilycpolson.wordpress.com/

View All posts by Emily Polson

I love memoirs and essays, so the genre of essay-length short memoirs is one of my favorites. I love delving into the details of other people’s lives. The length allows me to read broadly on a whim with minimal commitment. In roughly 5–30 minutes, I can consume a complete morsel of literature, which always leaves me happier than the same amount of time spent doom-scrolling through my various social news feeds.

What are short memoirs? 

What exactly are short memoirs? I define them as essay-length works that weave together life experiences around a central theme. You see examples of short memoirs all the time on sites like Buzzfeed and The New York Times . Others are stand-alone pieces published in essay collections.

Memoir essays were my gateway into reading full-length memoirs. It was not until I took a college class on creative nonfiction that I realized memoirs were not just autobiographies of people with exciting lives. Anyone with any amount of life experience can write a memoir—no dramatic childhood or odd-defying life accomplishments required. A short memoir might be an account of a single, life-changing event, or it may be reflection on a period of growth or transition.

Of course, when a young adult tells people she likes writing creative nonfiction—not journalism or technical writing—she hears a lot of, “You’re too young to write a memoir!” and “What could someone your age possibly have to write about?!” As Flannery O’Connor put it, however, “The fact is that anybody who has survived his childhood has enough information about life to last him the rest of his days. If you can’t make something out of a little experience, you probably won’t be able to make it out of a lot. The writer’s business is to contemplate experience, not to be merged in it.”

Memoir essay examples

As the lit magazine Creative Nonfiction puts it, personal essays are just “True stories, well told.” And everyone has life stories worth telling.

Here are a few of my favorite memoir examples that are essay length.

SHORT MEMOIRS ABOUT GROWING UP

Scaachi koul, “there’s no recipe for growing up”.

In this delightful essay, Koul talks about trying to learn the secrets of her mother’s Kashmiri cooking after growing up a first-generation American. The story is full of vivid descriptions and anecdotal details that capture something so specific it transcends to the realm of universal. It’s smart, it’s funny, and it’ll break your heart a little as Koul describes “trying to find my mom at the bottom of a 20-quart pot.”

ASHLEY C. FORD, “THE YEAR I GREW WILDLY WHILE MEN LOOKED ON”

This memoir essay is for all the girls who went through puberty early in a world that sexualizes children’s bodies. Ford weaves together her experiences of feeling at odds with her body, of being seen as a “distraction” to adult men, of being Black and fatherless and hungry for love. She writes, “It was evident that who I was inside, who I wanted to be, didn’t match the intentions of my body. Outside, there was no little girl to be loved innocently. My body was a barrier.”

Kaveh Akbar, “How I Found Poetry in Childhood Prayer”

Akbar writes intense, searing poetry, but this personal essay contextualizes one of his sweetest poems, “Learning to Pray,” which is cradled in the middle of it. He describes how he fell in love with the movement, the language, and the ceremony of his Muslim family’s nightly prayers. Even though he didn’t (and doesn’t) speak Arabic, Akbar points to the musicality of these phonetically-learned hymns as “the bedrock upon which I’ve built my understanding of poetry as a craft and as a meditative practice.” Reading this essay made me want to reread his debut poetry collection, Calling a Wolf a Wolf , all over again.

JIA TOLENTINO, “LOSING RELIGION AND FINDING ECSTASY IN HOUSTON”

New Yorker staff writer Jia Tolentino grew up attending a Houston megachurch she referred to as “the Repentagon.” In this personal essay, she describes vivid childhood memories of her time there, discussing how some of the very things she learned from the church contributed to her growing ambivalence toward it and its often hypocritical congregants. “Christianity formed my deepest instincts,” she writes, “and I have been walking away from it for half my life.” As the essay title suggests, this walking away coincided with her early experiences taking MDMA, which offered an uncanny similarity to her experience of religious devotion.

funny short memoirs

Patricia lockwood, “insane after coronavirus”.

Author Patricia Lockwood caught COVID-19 in early March 2020. In addition to her physical symptoms, she chronicled the bizarre delusions she experienced while society also collectively operated under the delusion that this whole thing would blow over quickly. Lockwood has a preternatural ability to inject humor into any situation, even the dire ones, by highlighting choice absurdities. This is a rare piece of pandemic writing that will make you laugh instead of cry–unless it makes you cry from laughing.

Harrison Scott Key,  “My Dad Tried to Kill Me with an Alligator”

This personal essay is a tongue-in-cheek story about the author’s run-in with an alligator on the Pearl River in Mississippi. Looking back on the event as an adult, Key considers his father’s tendencies in light of his own, now that he himself is a dad. He explores this relationship further in his book-length memoir, The World’s Largest Man , but this humorous essay stands on its own. (I also had the pleasure of hearing him read this aloud during my school’s homecoming weekend, as Key is an alumnus of my alma mater.)

David Sedaris, “Me Talk Pretty One Day”

Sedaris’s humor is in a league of its own, and he’s at his best in the title essay from Me Talk Pretty One Day . In it, he manages to capture the linguistic hilarities that ensue when you combine a sarcastic, middle-aged French student with a snarky French teacher.

SAMANTHA IRBY, “THE WORST FRIEND DATE I EVER HAD”

Samantha Irby is one of my favorite humorists writing today, and this short memoir essay about the difficulty of making friends as an adult is a great introduction to her. Be prepared for secondhand cringe when you reach the infamous moment she asks a waiter, “Are you familiar with my work?” After reading this essay, you’ll want to be, so check out Wow, No Thank You . next.

Bill Bryson, “Coming Home”

Bryson has the sly, subtle humor that only comes from Americans who have spent considerable time living among dry-humored Brits. In “Coming Home,” he talks about the strange sensation of returning to America after spending his first twenty years of adulthood in England. This personal essay is the first in a book-length work called I’m a Stranger Here Myself , in which Bryson revisits American things that feel like novelties to outsiders and the odd former expat like himself.

Thought-provoking Short memoirs

Tommy orange, “how native american is native american enough”.

Many people claim some percentage of Indigenous ancestry, but how much is enough to “count”? Novelist Tommy Orange–author of There There –deconstructs this concept, discussing his relationship to his Native father, his Certificate of Degree of Indian Blood, and his son, who will not be considered “Native enough” to join him as an enrolled member of the Cheyenne and Arapaho Tribes. “ How come math isn’t taught with stakes?” he asks in this short memoir full of lingering questions that will challenge the way you think about heritage. 

Christine Hyung-Oak Lee, “I Had a Stroke at 33”

Lee’s story is interesting not just because she had a stroke at such a young age, but because of how she recounts an experience that was characterized by forgetting. She says that after her stroke, “For a month, every moment of the day was like the moment upon wakening before you figure out where you are, what time it is.” With this personal essay, she draws readers into that fragmented headspace, then weaves something coherent and beautiful from it.

Kyoko Mori, “A Difficult Balance: Am I a Writer or a Teacher?”

In this refreshing essay, Mori discusses balancing “the double calling” of being a writer and a teacher. She admits that teaching felt antithetical to her sense of self when she started out in a classroom of apathetic college freshmen. When she found her way into teaching an MFA program, however, she discovered that fostering a sanctuary for others’ words and ideas felt closer to a “calling.” While in some ways this makes the balance of shifting personas easier, she says it creates a different kind of dread: “Teaching, if it becomes more than a job, might swallow me whole and leave nothing for my life as a writer.” This memoir essay is honest, well-structured, and layered with plenty of anecdotal details to draw in the reader.

Alex Tizon, “My Family’s Slave”

In this heartbreaking essay, Tizon pays tribute to the memory of Lola, the domestic slave who raised him and his siblings. His family brought her with them when they emigrated to America from the Philippines. He talks about the circumstances that led to Lola’s enslavement, the injustice she endured throughout her life, and his own horror at realizing the truth about her role in his family as he grew up. While the story is sad enough to make you cry, there are small moments of hope and redemption. Alex discusses what he tried to do for Lola as an adult and how, upon her death, he traveled to her family’s village to return her ashes.

Classic short memoirs

James baldwin, “notes of a native son”.

This memoir essay comes from Baldwin’s collection of the same name. In it, he focuses on his relationship with his father, who died when Baldwin was 19. He also wrestles with growing up black in a time of segregation, touching on the historical treatment of black soldiers and the Harlem Riot of 1943. His vivid descriptions and honest narration draw you into his transition between frustration, hatred, confusion, despair, and resilience.

JOAN DIDION,  “GOODBYE TO ALL THAT”

Didion is one of the foremost literary memoirists of the twentieth century, combining journalistic precision with self-aware introspection. In “Goodbye to All That,” Didion recounts moving to New York as a naïve 20-year-old and leaving as a disillusioned 28-year-old. She captures the mystical awe with which outsiders view the Big Apple, reflecting on her youthful perspective that life was still limitless, “that something extraordinary would happen any minute, any day, any month.”  This essay concludes her masterful collection,   Slouching Towards Bethlehem .

Tim O’Brien, “The Things They Carried”

This is the title essay from O’Brien’s collection, The Things They Carried . It’s technically labeled a work of fiction, but because the themes and anecdotes are pulled from O’Brien’s own experience in the Vietnam War, it blurs the lines between fact and fiction enough to be included here. (I’m admittedly predisposed to this classification because a college writing professor of mine included it on our creative nonfiction syllabus.) The essay paints an intimate portrait of a group of soldiers by listing the things they each carry with them, both physical and metaphorical. It contains one of my favorite lines in all of literature: “They all carried ghosts.”

Multi-Media Short Memoirs

Allie brosh, “richard”.

In this blog post/webcomic, Allie Brosh tells the hilarious story about the time as a child that she, 1) realized neighbors exist, and 2) repeatedly snuck into her neighbor’s house, took his things, and ultimately kidnapped his cat. Her signature comic style drives home the humor in a way that will split your sides. The essay is an excerpt from Brosh’s second book, Solutions and Other Problems , but the web version includes bonus photos and backstory. For even more Allie classics, check out “Adventures in Depression” and “Depression Part Two.”

George Watsky, “Ask Me What I’m Doing Tonight”

Watsky is a rapper and spoken word poet who built his following on YouTube. Before he made it big, however, he spent five years performing for groups of college students across the Midwest. “Ask Me What I’m Doing Tonight!” traces that soul-crushing monotony while telling a compelling story about trying to connect with people despite such transience. It’s the most interesting essay about boredom you’ll ever read, or in this case watch—he filmed a short film version of the essay for his YouTube channel. Like his music, Watsky’s personal essays are vulnerable, honest, and crude, and the whole collection, How to Ruin Everything , is worth reading.

If you’re looking for even more short memoirs, keep an eye on these pages from Literary Hub , Buzzfeed , and Creative Nonfiction . You can also delve into these 25 nonfiction essays you can read online and these 100 must-read essay collections . Also be sure to check out the “Our Reading Lives” tag right here on Book Riot, where you’ll find short memoirs like “Searching for Little Free Libraries as a Way to Say Goodbye” and “How I Overcame My Fear of Reading Contemporary Poets.”

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The Memoir in Essays: A Reading List

Elizabeth kadetsky on the multiple ways we can look at the self.

While the personal essay has enjoyed continued popularity, a book-length collection of linked essays, centered on an author’s self or life, is less common than a traditional memoir or novel. A truly successful essay collection can reveal the author processing experiences at many different points in time and through many different lenses. As a writer, I’ve always been drawn to the essay as a form, for its concision, for its ability to highlight an intriguing gap between author and narrator that lends an inherent tension and self-questioning. A collection of essays treating the same or related inquiries multiplies this effect.

The distance afforded by those multivalent lenses can allow an author to regard one’s younger self as a different character, a different persona. This can create an unease or uncertainty that is exciting, and also very relatable to the reader. An author’s ability to forgive that earlier version of herself is especially prevalent in the memoir-in-essays, perhaps because of the extended time period covered as a writer composes essays across years or even decades.

We are lucky enough to be in the middle of a renaissance. Several recent and upcoming memoirs-in-essays use the inquisitive essay form to tell life stories from different vantage points and make the reader question and revel in unreliable narrators and new perspectives. The more traditional memoir focuses on seeking and attaining redemption. The nonlinear structure of an essay collection reveals that there is never easy redemption, never clear resolution: bad things happen for no reason; overcoming one trial does not lessen the need to adapt in the next.

These new, enchanting and powerful collections are a welcome reminder that in our collective state of unrest and unknown futures, there is a comfort in knowing that there is an inherent uncertainty in having the answers.

Emily Arnason Casey, Made Holy: Essays (University of Georgia Press)

In beautiful, scenic prose, Emily Arnason Casey probes her middle American childhood from the stance of different venues, times of life, and primary characters—a family cabin and repository for memories both happy and sad; a little sister who grew up and wasn’t a sidekick anymore; a mother who didn’t reveal the family propensity to alcoholism until it was too late; an aunt who succumbed to the illness’s lure. In a spiral-like structure that keeps returning to a central and unanswerable question—how, and why, must this family battle the draws and effects of alcohol addiction—Arnason Casey tells a poignant story of a “normal” family that through its quirks and desires must find a path to survival. The author finds solace in nostalgia and a way forward by examining the errors of the past and by embracing, as a mother, the promise of the future generation. Her probing and compulsive need to question reminds us that alcoholism has no simple etiology, and that its cures are as individual as they are elusive.

Sonja Livingston, The Virgin of Prince Street: Expeditions into Devotion } (University of Nebraska Press)

At a time of dwindling religiosity, Livingston finds herself wishing for greater connection to her Catholic roots while also exploring the physical space of the church in upstate New York that made memories for her as a child. Because of religious attrition, the church that she grew up in becomes the gathering space for dozens of rescued saint statues deaccessioned from other churches nearby. Livingston embarks upon a quest to find a missing Virgin Mary statue, that moves not in straight lines but elliptically, following a parallel physical and emotional journey that is an exploration into faith, Catholicism, and a desire for spiritual connection on modern terms. In examining the sustained power of a central icon of the Catholic church and an object of personal, sentimental attachment, Livingston’s linked essays highlight the irresolvable paradox of modern religiosity—that the seeker must follow an uncharted middle pathway when the old texts and their tropes, their patriarchy and their strictures, necessarily fall away.

Amy Long, Codependence (Cleveland State University Poetry Center)

In this haunting and troubling book, Long revisits scenes and anecdotes from her  boyfriend’s heroin addiction and her subsequent dependence on opioids for chronic pain. Formal experiments such as essays disguised as lists, prescription forms, and medical reports are interspersed among scene-driven recollections from different points in time: the author’s first introduction to the drug; the allure of an older addict; attempts at recovery. The grounding presence of the author’s supportive mother is offset by the narrative’s tragic other constant—the euphoria and escape offered by the drug. By eschewing a linear narrative structure, Long illustrates the difficulty of achieving recovery and puts lie to the myth that addiction is a logical disease that naturally ends with a cure. In its very form, this memoir undermines the narrative so prevalent in media treatments of this illness—that in order to trounce the beast, the individual suffering from addiction need only attend a recovery program. Having written about and witnessed my own sister’s decades’ long struggle to overcome opioid addiction, I was drawn to Long’s wisdom in portraying addiction not as a problem to be solved so much as a complexity to be observed and penetrated.

Sejal Shah, This Is One Way to Dance (University of Georgia Press)

The Indian-American author continually revisits her troubled relationship to her American identity through layered essays treating her bifurcated Indian and American past. Exploring her family’s immersion in Gujarati subculture when she was a child growing up in Rochester, New York; her experience as one of few people of color in her MFA creative writing program; and many family weddings in which she must confront her presumed future as a desi bride, Shah questions her place in both American culture and the thriving American-Gujarati subculture. By placing dates at the ends of the essays, it is suggested that her complicated and lifelong conflicts about race and cultural identity can be told chronologically. But, as she explains in her introduction, many essays had multiple end dates after having been revised and reconsidered as time moved forward. The multiple end dates elegantly upend the notion that a rational, hypothesis-thesis-synthesis structure can encompass the complexities of identity and belonging. Shah’s choice to write non-narratively about her conflicts of identity provide insight for anyone raised with a dual or multiple cultural identity—anyone who may, at different points of time, feel a greater allegiance to one culture, another, or a never straightforward amalgam of many. Who we understand ourselves to be, Shah’s book tells the reader in subtle ways, is not a fact so much as a moving target, an unending query.

Sue William Silverman, How to Survive Death and Other Inconveniences (University of Nebraska Press)

Silverman is the author of three previous memoirs. In How to Survive Death and Other Inconveniences , she tells her life story through the lens of an obsession with death and the desire to come to terms with the inevitable but often avoided reality that in the end we are mortal. The essays begin with a chronological life story of growing up in New Jersey and encountering American culture’s death-avoidance, but then take a swerve when several brief but elusive mentions accrue into an account of a rape at a young age and a discovery that her memory of the event connects to her fixation on death. A chronological structure gives way to a thematic plot, in which Silverman seeks to confront her topic through reporting, immersion, and reflection—for instance by visiting a morgue, exploring mythological figures associated with death, and recollecting a family funeral. The sophisticated writing and structure make the whole greater than the sum of its many fascinating and worthy parts. Silverman’s essays continually reveal the irrational functioning of memory and how it connects our pasts to our worldviews. Honoring subconscious logic, How to Survive Death and Other Inconveniences makes the gambit that the mysteries of the self are both keys to understanding and uncertainties to be celebrated. We become who we are without being fully conscious of our choices—probing those choices won’t give us easy answers, but the discoveries along the way will be illuminating and well worth the necessary befuddlements.

__________________________________

Elizabeth Kadetsky’s memoir , The Memory Eaters, is available now from University of Massachusetts Press.

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Course Syllabus

Memoir and Personal Essay: Beyond the Basics

Tackle a big writing project in this class intended for writers who are ready to take their writing to the next level..

This class is designed for those who have already explored the basics of personal writing and wish to move on to a larger project or more challenging forms. You can choose one of two paths, working either on sections of a memoir or on personal essays in a variety of styles. You will learn how to structure chapters or essays, how to incorporate research into personal writing, how to develop character, how to use descriptive language effectively, and more. We will examine personal essays and memoir chapters from published authors to analyze their writing techniques, and discuss ways to use those techniques in our own writing. If you wish to submit work that does not strictly fit the assignments given you can arrange to do so with the instructor.

How it works:  

Each week provides:

• discussions of assigned readings and other general writing topics with peers and the instructor
• written lectures and a selection of readings

Some weeks also include:

• writing exercises
• opportunities to submit a full-length essay for instructor and/or peer review (up to 2,500 words and typically in weeks 3, 6, and 9)
• optional video conferences that are open to all students in Week 2 (and which will be available afterwards as a recording for those who cannot participate)

Aside from the live conference, there is no need to be online at any particular time of day. To create a better classroom experience for all, you are expected to participate weekly in class discussions to receive instructor feedback on your work.

Week 1: Planning Your Writing Project

We will set firm goals for the course, outlining the work you will complete during the 10 weeks, and your ultimate objective for this writing once it is completed. Those who do not already have an extended project in mind will choose one; those who have already started working on a project will plan their next steps. You will consider how your work fits into the larger writing market, but also learn when to leave the market behind and focus exclusively on the art.

Week 2: Intertwining Narratives

Combining or counterpointing two different narratives or streams of thought can allow you to emphasize elements of both storylines that would not otherwise be apparent, or to create an extended metaphor by choosing to compare two seemingly unrelated elements. This can result in juxtapositions that the reader finds surprising, moving, and thought-provoking. The lecture and readings for this week will explore techniques for writing an essay that braids together two or more storylines, and for incorporating intertwined storylines into the memoir.

Week 3: Writing with Multiple Storylines

You will submit a writing sample to the instructor, either a memoir excerpt or a personal essay that uses the “braided storylines” technique from Week 2, with the option of participating in peer critiques. We will take a close look at some of the class readings to analyze the authors’ writing techniques, and continue to discuss the topics from Week 2 as they relate to our own writing.

Week 4: Conducting Research

Research adds depth to a memoir, and allows a personal essay to move beyond the purely personal. Even an ordinary story can become interesting when it is artfully combined with the right research. During this week we will discuss ways to obtain information that will embellish a piece of personal writing, and how to gracefully incorporate that information into your prose. 

Week 5: Non-Narrative Elements

Most memoirs and personal essays are based on a personal narrative. While a good story is essential to creating a compelling piece of nonfiction, non-narrative components such as reflections, informational passages, dialogue, and so on are also important in creating an interesting piece of writing. This week you will explore techniques for integrating these components into your writing projects.

Week 6: Writing with Research

You will submit a writing sample to the instructor, either a memoir excerpt or a personal essay that uses the research and non-narrative techniques from Weeks 4 and 5, with the option to participate in peer critiques. We will take a close look at some of the class readings to analyze the authors’ writing techniques, and continue to discuss the topics from the preceding weeks as they relate to your own writing.

Week 7: Revision

Revision is an essential part of the writing process, but one that some writers find tedious. During this week we’ll discuss strategies for revision, both by yourself and with a writing partner, and ways to remain invested in your project during the long revision process. 

Week 8: Non-Chronological Structure

The traditional way to tell a story is to start at the beginning and go to the end, but rearranging the events of a narrative allows you to highlight certain connections between events that happen at different times, and also to manipulate the reader’s understanding of a series of events. This week we will explore techniques for writing an essay that uses an unusual chronological structure, and strategies for moving back and forth in time in the context of the memoir.

Week 9: Writing Out of Order

You will submit writing to the instructor, either a memoir excerpt or a personal essay that uses the non-chronological techniques from Week 8, with the option of participating in a peer critique. We will take a close look at some of the class readings to analyze the authors’ writing techniques, and continue to discuss the topics from Week 8 as they relate to your own writing.

Week 10: Preparing for Publication

After all the planning and polishing, structuring and revision, you want to share your writing with the world. During this week we will discuss the steps and best practices for submitting work to agents, literary journals, and magazines.

• Legacy Projects

30+ Memoir Topic Ideas + Tips for Choosing One

Updated 11/19/2021

Published 06/26/2020

Sam Tetrault, BA in English

Contributing writer

Cake values integrity and transparency. We follow a strict editorial process to provide you with the best content possible. We also may earn commission from purchases made through affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. Learn more in our affiliate disclosure .

A memoir is a personal account of your life, an experience, or anything that shapes you into the person you are today. There are a lot of examples of some of the best memoirs out there, but have you ever considered writing your own?

Jump ahead to these sections: 

Personal memoir topic ideas, tips for choosing the best memoir topic, tips for starting your memoir.

There are no rules when it comes to writing your own memoir. You can choose any topic you’d like, and there are no restrictions on how you write your life story . This is a great writing exercise for students, older adults, and everyone in between. 

By taking the time to write about an experience that matters to you, you also do a lot of self-reflection. This could shine a light on how you want to be remembered, your legacy, and any changes you’d like to make in your life. 

There are so many important things you’ll recognize only once you begin writing. Instead of waiting for inspiration to strike, here are 30+ memoir topic ideas and tips for choosing the right one for you. 

If you're interested in unique ways to continue the legacy of a loved one, you can consider a custom urn from a store like Foreverence  or even have a memorial diamond made from ashes with a company like  Eterneva .

A personal memoir is something that’s meaningful for you. This could be an interesting event, a life-changing moment, or even just a bit of internal reflection. Again, there are no rules. Let these ideas be your guide. 

Ideas for middle school and high school students

A memoir is an excellent writing exercise for students in middle school and high school. Though these students might not have a lot of life experience, they still have unique perspectives on the world. Capturing these ideas in writing is worth its weight in gold. 

1. A major life event

We all experience major life events, even as children. What major life event defines your life, and how can you grow from it? It could be a transition from middle school to high school, a parent’s divorce, or even a vacation. These are the memories that define who we are. 

2. Your favorite place

Where do you find the most comfort? Is it at home in your bedroom or outside somewhere special? Why does this space have so much meaning for you, and how do you spend your time here? Share an experience you’ve had here.

3. Your best day

Best days might not come around all that often, but they sure are memorable when they do. Share one of the best days you’ve ever had, who you were with, and what you did. What made this moment so special?

4. Favorite food

Food is one of the things that bind people together. What food speaks the most to you, and why does it have such an important place in your heart? What does food mean within your family?

5. Favorite teacher

Teachers impact the way we think, and their role transcends the classroom. Who was your most memorable teacher? What stood out about them, and how do you work hard to make them proud?

6. Favorite book

Everyone has a book they’ve read that stuck with them. Humans share who they are through stories. Like the memoir itself, this book plays a role in who you’ve become. What book is your favorite, and what does it mean to you?

7. Most prized possession

This topic is like show-and-tell in written form. What item do you hold in the highest esteem? Is it a beloved shirt or a prize from a sporting event? Where do you keep this item, what does it look like, and what place does it hold in your heart?

8. Your favorite class or subject

No matter your feelings about school, there are bound to be some classes or subjects that stood out to you. What inspired you about these lessons? What have you learned, and how will you use these teachings moving forward?

Who are your closest friends? When did you become friends, and what keeps you close? Exploring these relationships in a memoir is a wonderful tribute to those who matter the most. 

10. Favorite holiday

Holidays have a lot of meaning around the world. Which holidays matter the most to you? What do these say about your family, culture, and personality? What is your favorite way to celebrate?

Ideas for college students

College students are at a defining moment in their lives. They have a lot of responsibility, but they’re not quite on their own in the “real world” just yet. This is the perfect transition point for some reflection through a memoir. 

11. Major or focus

In college, most students define a major or area of study. What major did you choose, and what significance does this have for you? Where do you see yourself in a few years using this major?

12. First love or friendship

We’ll never forget our earliest relationships. Share a time when you fell in love or had a close friendship. What did this relationship mean to you? How did you feel in the moment, and how do you feel now?

13. Obituary

While this might sound odd, a common writing exercise is to write your own obituary. An obituary or death announcement is a way to share your legacy on the world. Though you hope to have many happy years ahead, what do you want to include in your obituary ?

What is your most memorable travel experience? From spring break with friends to family holidays in nearby cities, the places we experience often define us. What have you learned from your journeys both near and far?

15. Hometown

If you’re no longer in your hometown, reflect on what this means to you. Was your hometown somewhere to escape from or to? How has moving away for college affected your relationship with this place?

Describe an experience of loss. Whether you lost someone you love, a pet, or even just a favorite sweater, we all experience these feelings in our own ways. What does loss mean to you?

17. Grandparents

Talking to our grandparents is one of the best ways to bridge gaps between generations. Talk to your grandparents about their experience in college or at your age. How does this compare to your own experience?

18. First job

What was your first job like? When did you receive your first paycheck, and what did this experience mean to you? If you’ve never worked a “real” job, what do you imagine it will be like? Describe a volunteer, academic, or professional experience. 

19. Future you

Write a memoir from the perspective of your future self. Where do you see yourself in 10 years? 20 years? How will this version of yourself look different? What will they have accomplished?

20. Failure

Though difficult to write about, it’s important to reflect on our weaknesses just as much as our strengths. Have you ever failed in your life? How did you move on from this, and what did you learn along the way?

Ideas for older adults

As someone with more life experience, there’s a lot of room to reflect as an older adult. Here are some ideas to get those creative juices flowing as you drift down memory lane. 

How exactly do you want to be remembered by friends and family? What have you accomplished that you’re most proud of, and how will this affect your legacy?

What is your favorite hobby? Describe your experience learning this hobby and becoming a part of the culture. How does it affect your day-to-day life?

23. Life’s passion

While most people have a variety of passions, try to define a single, key passion that defines your life. Limiting it to one helps you focus on what matters most. 

24. Historical event

Have you witnessed any historical events? Things like national disasters, wars, rights movements, and so on are all once-in-a-lifetime experiences. How did they affect you, and what is your perspective on these happenings?

25. Paradigm shift

Was there ever a moment where your point of view changed drastically? Did it stem from someone, something, or a single experience? Describe this moment. 

26. Trip abroad

If you’ve traveled abroad, write about your experience in a new place and surrounded by an unfamiliar culture. What do you remember the most? What lessons did you take with you back home?

What is your relationship with change? Is it something you welcome with open arms or run from? Evaluate how your relationship with change has adapted over time. 

28. Built a home

What does “home” mean to you? Is it the place you grew up or somewhere you built for yourself? Define what home means to you and how you’ve built your own home life. 

While your career isn’t everything, it does say something about you and the life you lead. How has your career affected your life, and what doors has it opened or closed?

30. Life story

Finally, consider sharing your entire life story. If you’re not sure where to start, try the beginning. Each of us has a story to tell, no matter how big or small. 

There are no one-size-fits-all questions for sparking your memoir topic. Follow these tips below to find the right fit for you. 

Writing time and experience

Before you begin, consider how much time you have to dedicate to writing. While writing your life story might be a great goal, this should only be attempted if you have the time to follow through. Otherwise, choose something with shorter writing requirements like sharing an experience. 

Brainstorm before you begin

If you’re not sure where to start, simply start brainstorming or journaling. Often you’ll find the answer in what you write here. What are you drawn to most naturally? Where do your thoughts focus the most? This is where your story lies. 

Choose multiple topics

There are no rules that you only have to stick to one memoir topic. You could write a series of essays that discuss many of the topics above. There is no need to worry about them fitting together perfectly. Life isn’t a highlight’s reel. It’s raw and imperfect, and that’s okay.

Sometimes, the hardest part about starting a memoir is just that: getting started. While you need to have a solid overarching story, you also need to make a strong impression on readers early on. Like all forms of writing and craftsmanship, this process can be intimidating. 

The good news is it’s okay to be messy, to make mistakes, and to figure it out as you go. For inspiration, follow these tips for starting your memoir. 

Start with action

While it’s tempting to start your memoir off with backstory or context, this doesn’t necessarily draw readers into the story. Instead, begin in the middle of the action. There will always be time for context and further explanations later. 

Engage your audience in the work from the first moment, grabbing the reader’s attention. Whether you begin at an important decision-making moment, on a trip abroad, or wrapped in a moment of passion, make every inch of the page count. 

Treat your reader like a friend

Spilling your truth on the page is no easy feat. Because a memoir is your own story, it’s normal to feel anxiety about letting these feelings out from deep inside. One helpful tip for starting your memoir is to treat the reader like a trusted friend. 

This is someone you confide in regularly, and you know you can trust them. They won’t meet you with judgment or confusion. They’re just present in the moment, listening to what you have to share. When you place your trust in the reader, they feel that trust as well. 

Borrow from fiction writers

While you don’t want to borrow elements of stories, borrow writing techniques from your favorite fiction writers. Who said nonfiction had to read like a textbook? The best memoirs all tell a story creatively, relying on traditional fiction techniques to paint the narrative. 

Just like with fiction, create a structure for your story. This includes a strong opening, middle, climax, and resolution. Even a truthful memoir needs a clear course for readers to follow. Take inspiration from other memoirs, fictional stories, and the tales that inspire you. What can you learn from other authors?

Write for yourself

Most importantly, write for yourself. Writing your own memoir can be a healing process. When you write your own stories, even if they’re never shared, you let go of this weight inside ourselves. 

While you shouldn’t look exclusively inward, don’t focus so much on the reader that you lose sight of yourself. Invite your reader into these real-life moments. Let them exist inside them for a little while, even if it’s only on borrowed time.

Above all, write the story you have to tell. Everyone has something inside of them that wants to be let out. Your memoir is an opportunity to share that truth with a blank page, even if this is something you don’t share with others. 

Start Writing Your Memoir

There’s nothing holding you back from writing your memoir. As long as you’re willing to put the words to paper, you can get started today. You don’t need any formal training or writing experience to get started. Memoirs are written by people from all backgrounds and walks of life. 

You don’t need to worry about your story being “good enough” or “exciting enough.” A true story is a worthy story, no matter how it’s told. Let these 30+ topics above be your guide. From there, the page is yours to explore.

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Home — Essay Types — Memoir Essay

Memoir Essay Examples

Selecting the right topic is the cornerstone of a compelling memoir essay. It's the initial step in crafting a narrative that resonates with readers and leaves a lasting impression. The chosen topic serves as the foundation upon which your entire memoir is built, setting the tone and direction for your storytelling journey. To better illustrate this point, let's examine some memoir essay examples in our base of essays.

When you carefully consider your memoir essay topics, you're essentially inviting readers into your world, allowing them to connect with your personal experiences, emotions, and insights. The more relatable the topic, the deeper the connection you can establish with your audience. After all, the power of memoir lies in its ability to evoke empathy and understanding.

To gain a better understanding of this concept, we can turn to some well-known memoirs, such as "The Glass Castle" by Jeannette Walls and "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert, as memoir essay examples. "The Glass Castle" revolves around her unconventional upbringing and the struggles of her impoverished family, illustrating how the right topic can engage readers and make a memoir not just a personal narrative but a shared human experience.

Finding Inspiration for Memoir Essay Topics

So, where can you find inspiration for your memoir essay topics? The answer lies in your own life experiences, and there are countless facets to explore.

I. Start by reflecting on significant life events, such as your childhood memories. Think about the moments that shaped you, the adventures that left a lasting impression, and the challenges that forced you to grow. These events often hold the key to compelling memoir essay ideas, as they offer glimpses into your personal journey.

• A Life-Altering Event and Its Profound Impact
• Exploring the Impact of Milestones in Life
• Personal Crisis Leading to Transformation
• Influence of Key Moments on Life's Path
• Lessons from Milestones: Successes and Failures

II. Additionally, consider your milestones and achievements. Successes and accomplishments, both big and small, can be fertile ground for memoirs. Whether it's graduating from college, starting a business, or completing a marathon, these moments represent your growth and perseverance.

• Reflecting on the Marathon: Perseverance and Transformation
• Transitioning from College to the Real World
• Entrepreneurial Ventures: Navigating Challenges in Business
• Shaping Character Through Personal Achievement
• Personal Growth Through Accomplishments

Personal challenges and growth experiences also make for engaging topics. Everyone faces adversity at some point in their lives, and sharing how you navigated through these trials can inspire and connect with readers who have undergone similar struggles.

Of course, here are the essay topic examples marked up as a list:

• My Journey Through Personal Challenges and Triumph
• My Most Memorable Experiences in Life
• Navigating Personal Struggles for Personal Growth
• Triumphing Over Life's Obstacles: Stories of Resilience
• Lessons from Adversity: Building Empathy and Connection Through Shared Struggles

Lastly, your career and professional experiences are a goldmine of stories. Share your successes, the challenges you've faced, and the valuable lessons you've learned along the way. Your career journey can offer valuable insights and inspiration to others pursuing their own professional paths.

• Lessons Learned from My Professional Journey
• How Past Experiences Influence Our Present
• Overcoming Challenges and Thriving in My Career
• Shaping Growth Through Career Path and Mentorship
• Inspiring Others with Insights from My Professional Odyssey

By delving into these various aspects of your life, you can uncover memoir topics that are not only deeply personal but also universally relatable, creating a narrative that resonates with readers on a profound level.

A memoir essay, with its vulnerability, introspection, and focus on key life lessons, differs from a standard personal essay or autobiography. Unlike chronological autobiographies, memoir essays thoughtfully reflect on specific meaningful experiences. By candidly revisiting impactful moments, memoir essayists gain self-awareness, find meaning in hardship, preserve family histories, and share life-changing epiphanies. 

Great memoir essays , illustrated by memoir essay examples , balance vivid scenic recreation, raw emotional insights, and universal truths. Evocative sensory details transport readers to pivotal moments, while introspective narration reveals the inner turmoil, growth, and realizations that recollection brings. The most compelling memoirs extract wisdom from lived experience, inviting readers to reflect on their own journeys.

In the process of studying and crafting your memoir essay, it’s crucial to delve deep into understanding and portraying personal experiences with authenticity and emotional depth. By unlocking free profile essay examples , you can gain insights into different approaches to storytelling and character exploration, enriching your memoir with new dimensions and perspectives.

Memoir Essay’s Central Theme 

Identifying your memoir essay’s central theme or message provides focus for both writing and reflection. Set aside time for deep thought about the big life moments you could explore within your memoir essay and what universal insights they hold.

Common memoir themes include overcoming adversity, grief and loss, achievement, parenthood, sexual identity, family dynamics, disillusionment, recovery from trauma or addiction, spiritual awakening, and more. For example, a parent’s memoir may center on personal growth through raising a special needs child. A memoir of grief could find meaning in love and legacy after loss.

Once you land on a specific theme, use it as a touchstone while shaping your memoir’s scenes, tone, and takeaways. Let it guide your writing toward impactful self-revelation.

Memoir Essay’s Structure

An intentional structure connects your memoir’s scenes into a cohesive narrative arc. Chronological organization works well for linear stories, while a braided narrative with interwoven timelines suits winding journeys. 

Some memoirs, as in memoir essay examples for college students, utilize frame narratives that “bookend” the story, like Sidonie-Gabrielle Colette’s childhood recollections in My Mother’s House. Others divide chapters into thematic segments, like cancer survivor Kathy Kamen’s shifting outlooks in The Medicine Wheel.

Play with different structures until you find one that mirrors your narrative’s emotional cadence. Outline essential scenes like epiphanies, darkest moments, turning points, and resolutions to build your blueprint. A strong structure elevates your memoir’s impact.

Memoir Essay’s Voice and Tone

An authentic narrative voice and complementary tone shape how readers connect with your memoir. Your voice should fit the story, while your tone reflects the narrator’s perspective. 

For example, a humorous, ironic tone could capture the absurdities of childhood. A somber, reflective tone may suit a memoir of loss. Word choice profoundly affects tone, so select descriptors deliberately based on the desired mood and emotions.

Beyond tone, stylistic devices like metaphor and imagery convey voice. Is your narrator contemplative? Sarcastic? Lyrics? Fragmented sentences or analytical asides also contribute nuance. Remember your voice makes the memoir uniquely yours.

Bringing Scenes and Characters to Life 

Transport readers right into your memoir’s most pivotal scenes using vivid sensory description. Share sights, sounds, smells, textures, and tastes that set the scene and make it relatable. Zoom in on resonant images and telling details that reveal deeper meaning and character insight.  

Dialogue and anecdotes also help dramatize events and portray relationships. Let important conversations and interactions unfold naturally to illuminate the interpersonal dynamics, motivations, and emotions at play. Specific, evocative details turn recalled moments into immersive scenes.

Polishing Memoir Essays

Refine your first draft by revisiting your memoir’s central theme and emotional impact. Strengthen the narrative arc and deepen insights through targeted revision:

• Read sections aloud to polish language and flow.  
• Ask trusted readers for constructive feedback.
• Develop motifs and metaphors that underscore themes.
• Enhance scenes with more vivid sensory descriptions. 
• Adjust structure and pacing as needed.
• Clarify the narrative perspective and voice.

Revision is key to crafting a memoir that resonates. It takes raw recollections and molds them into universally relatable experiences suffused with meaning.

Free Memoir Essay Examples

We hope these free memoir essay examples inspire you to embrace the power of storytelling and to celebrate the uniqueness of every life’s narrative. Explore the pages of these memoirs to witness the resilience of the human spirit, the complexities of relationships, and the transformative power of personal reflection. These examples of memoir essays are a testament to the richness of the human experience and the artistry of memoir writing.

College Memoir Essay Examples

These insightful essays provide a glimpse into the diverse and transformative experiences of college life. Explore these stories of growth, challenges, and self-discovery as students share their personal narratives, shedding light on the unique journey that is higher education. Whether you’re a student seeking inspiration or simply curious about the college experience, these essays offer valuable insights and perspectives.

How to Write a Memoir Essays

Tips in memoir essay infographics.

Checklist for Writing a Memoir Essay

• Before You Start

✓ Choose a Specific Topic: select a meaningful and impactful life experience to write about.

✓ Identify Your Message: determine the central theme or message you want to convey through your memoir essay.

✓ Gather Memories: brainstorm and collect memories, details, and emotions related to your chosen experience.

✓ Narrow Your Focus: decide on the specific aspect or moment within your experience that you’ll explore in-depth.

• Structuring Your Memoir Essay

✓ Create a Three-Part Structure: plan for a clear beginning, middle, and end in your essay.

✓ Craft an Engaging Introduction: start with a compelling hook that introduces the topic and grabs the reader’s attention.

✓ Develop the Body: explore your chosen experience in detail, utilizing vivid descriptions, emotions, and reflections.

✓ Conclude Thoughtfully: wrap up your essay by tying together loose ends and leaving readers with something to ponder.

✓ Reflect and Connect: consider the broader implications of your memoir, connecting your personal experience to universal truths or lessons.

• Writing Your Memoir Essay

✓ Write Clearly and Concisely: use clear and concise language to convey your story and message effectively.

✓ Use Sensory Details: incorporate sensory details to bring your experiences to life for the reader.

✓ Be Honest and Authentic: share both strengths and vulnerabilities to make your memoir more relatable and authentic.

✓ Embrace Vulnerability: don’t shy away from sharing your emotions and vulnerabilities, as they add depth to your narrative.

✓ Revise and Edit: carefully revise and edit your work for clarity, coherence, and overall polish.

• Additional Resources

✓ Refer to Memoir Examples for College Students: seek inspiration and guidance from memoir examples tailored to college students’ experiences.

✓ Explore how to start a memoir essay examples: study various ways to begin your memoir essay effectively, drawing from examples.

Using this checklist can help you stay organized and focused while writing your memoir essay, ensuring that you craft a compelling and meaningful narrative.

While delving into the intricacies of writing a memoir essay, it’s essential to embrace the complexities of your narrative, weaving together the threads of your experiences with insight and reflection. However, expanding your understanding of different essay formats can further refine your writing craft. Specifically, by crafting a problem-solution essay , you can develop a keen eye for identifying and articulating challenges within your stories, while also presenting thoughtful, engaging resolutions. This skill not only enhances the depth and structure of your memoir but also equips you with a versatile approach to writing that can be applied across various genres. Engage with this dynamic essay format to enrich your storytelling toolkit and bring a new level of sophistication to your memoir.

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What is a memoir essay?

This type of writing is often mixed up with autobiography essays. However, it is not the same as it represents a first-person narrative that describes a certain part of a person's life. The topics and ideas are always chosen by the author. In terms of comparing a personal essay vs memoir, it is necessary to understand that memoir still keeps to a certain chronology even if describing a single day.

How to write memoir essays?

Even though it is not a fiction story, memoir essay writing still uses various metaphors or literary devices that increase an emotional effect. You can see our memoir essay examples that show how it is done in practice. The structure has a strong temporal effect and an overly emotional tone, which is acceptable for memoir writing. Remember to end your writing with an important argumentation that will make readers think.

How to start writing a memoir essay?

To begin writing a memoir essay, start by identifying a compelling personal story or theme from your life. Reflect on its significance and outline the key moments. Then, create an engaging opening that hooks readers, drawing them into your narrative. Finally, let your story unfold with honesty, reflection, and vivid detail.

How to write a memoir essay structure?

A memoir essay typically follows a chronological or thematic structure. Start with an engaging introduction, introduce the central theme or event, and provide vivid details. Progress through the narrative, building tension or insight. Conclude by reflecting on the significance of your story, offering lessons, or leaving readers with a thought-provoking idea.

How does a memoir essay differ from other types of writing?

Memoir essays differ by their introspective nature, centering on personal experiences and lessons learned. They often incorporate vivid descriptions and emotional depth to engage readers on a personal level.

What are some common themes explored in memoir essays?

Common memoir themes include overcoming adversity, family dynamics, personal growth, grief, identity, and transformative moments. These themes provide a framework for exploring life's complexities.

What is the ultimate goal of a memoir essay?

The primary goal of a memoir essay is to share a personal story while offering universal insights or lessons that resonate with readers. It aims to create a meaningful and reflective narrative.

How much personal detail should I include?

Be judiciously vulnerable. Share telling details that lend insight, but avoid oversharing or exposing others’ privacy. Strive for candid self-revelation in service of the larger theme.

How do I conclude in a meaningful way?

Offer closing reflections on your memoir’s central insights, tying together the theme and narrative arc. Look ahead to the future or revisit where the journey began. End on an uplifting or poignant note.

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Letter by Letter, Steve Gleason Typed His Memoir With His Eyes

The former N.F.L. player has been living with A.L.S. for more than a decade. Sharing “the most lacerating and vulnerable times” in “A Life Impossible” was worth the physical and emotional toll, he says.

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Describe your ideal reading experience (when, where, what, how).

I have always loved to read, and I read nearly anywhere. Journalists used to get a kick out of the fact that in the midst of the chaotic joy of the [New Orleans] Saints locker room, I would lie on the floor reading books.

These days, while I’m not so good at flipping pages, I still tear through books. I listen on Audible, or read on Kindle, and for the books I’d like to pass on, I buy the book for the shelves in our house.

The ideal reading experience? For me, there is nothing more glorious than sitting outside under the shade of an oak tree with my wife, Michel, or our 12-year-old son, Rivers, listening on Audible or hearing them read the hard copy. (Rivers and I just finished the young readers adaptation of “The Boys in the Boat,” by Daniel James Brown.) Our 5-year-old daughter, Gray, is just learning to read, so I look forward to continuing this tradition in nature, my sanctuary, for many years.

What book do you turn to during hard times?

Viktor Frankl’s “Man’s Search for Meaning.” There were a couple years, as I was losing the ability to move, talk and breathe, that I felt so lonely, ashamed and weary that I was ready to give up and die. His words helped me choose life.

What did it take to write a nearly 300-page book?

In a word … everything. I type with my eyes, letter by letter, so to write this, it took a physical toll to write for several hours each day for two years. It took patience and discipline. People often talk about “writer’s block,” but I think I experienced something of the opposite thousands of times over the past couple years. Ordinary writers may have a wonderful idea to get on the page, then they quickly write it down. But I type so slowly that the wonderful idea that was so vivid and clear eventually slipped into the fog as I trudged and typed.

It also took an emotional toll. To relive the most lacerating and vulnerable times of my life, then to share those experiences in a raw, truthful human way, rather than a heroic way, took an extraordinary amount of trust. It’s clear to me that sharing our shortcomings and weaknesses with each other is our greatest strength. Our salvation.

Why do you describe yourself as afraid to finish it?

There were multiple reasons. Unlike most authors, I’m not able to quickly scroll through a chapter to revise or edit. I have bragged on social media, “I get more done in one day than most people get done in 15 minutes!” So, during the end of the writing process, there was fear that I would lose the input I needed to tell our story fully and truthfully.

Michel and I took some enormous risks in openly and transparently sharing our journey as a couple enduring the dark traumas of life with A.L.S. When you read the searing experience that we have been through, you may feel kind of like you’re overhearing conversations that you shouldn’t be hearing. But these difficult, truthful and compassionate conversations were our redemption, and our healing. I also took some personal risks in sharing my fairly unconventional views on religion and spirituality.

I think the most frightening aspect may be that once published, my life story would become solid, static and fixed. That is so crazy to me, because, as a lifelong explorer, my perspectives, philosophical outlooks, and beliefs are dynamic and fluid.

Galleys for your book opened with a quote from Shakespeare, “Tears water our growth.” How did you come across it? Why that quote?

I know this will come as a shock, but not everything I read on the internet is true! While this quote was attributed to Shakespeare, we did a little digging and there is no record of him ever saying or writing this, even though it’s constantly attributed to him. Although, in “As You Like It,” he does write: “Sweet are the uses of adversity. …” [The quote is now attributed to Author Unknown.]

What kind of reader were you as a child? Do any childhood books and authors stick with you?

My mom was a language arts teacher, so she would read to me nearly every night and I was a voracious reader growing up. The book that stands out from my youth is “Ender’s Game,” a novel by Orson Scott Card. In sixth grade I found this book in the Bookmobile, a big yellow van that I remember with great nostalgia. I can’t say exactly why, but I also read it a couple years after I was diagnosed with A.L.S.

I sense that in both my adolescence and the crazy unknowns of life where I was losing the ability to move, talk and breathe, I resonated with two themes in “Ender’s Game” — feeling isolation, and working to discover my own identity.

I’m reminded of a profound truth in a quote from Ender: “In the moment when I truly understand my enemy, understand him well enough to defeat him, then in that very moment I also love him.” In embracing this paradox, I find strength and compassion in the midst of adversity.

What book has had the greatest impact on you?

Wow, this is an impossible question to answer, but I enjoy dancing with the impossible. It would be “21 Lessons for the 21st Century ,” by Yuval Noah Harari . I read this in early 2019, my ninth season with A.L.S. In “21 Lessons,” Harari explores the profound challenges facing humanity, including technological disruption, political polarization and existential risks. With such rapid change, life will become ever more chaotic.

Harari mentions multiple times that the realest thing in the world is suffering. He goes on to say that suffering is a product of patterns in our own minds, and offers a tool that has helped him alleviate suffering and be more resilient — meditation. I now train my mind in meditation for two to three hours a day. I didn’t realize it then, but as I started meditation, I was embarking on a practice of a lifetime.

What’s the last great book you read?

When I was diagnosed, one of the first questions I asked in a journal entry was, “Can I discover peace of mind, even if this disease destroys my body?” That inquiry has been a guiding light for me the past 13 years. “The Good Life: Lessons From the World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness,” by Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz, has real-life stories I could relate to, providing insights which have helped illuminate the path for me to live longer, and be grateful and content.

The last book that made you cry?

“I Wish for You,” by David Wax and illustrated by Brett Blumenthal. During spring break, as our daughter nestled beside me in bed, our caregiver, Jenni, read from the book. It lists about a dozen of the most important character traits and values that I aspire to embody and instill in our kids. Witnessing Gray following along with her tiny finger, I was overwhelmed by the miraculousness of the moment. Despite being 10 years past my expiration date, here I was, sharing a cherished reading experience.

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Leslie Jamison's new memoir Splinters examines motherhood and the end of her marriage

Leslie Jamison has been reading a lot of Helen Garner lately.

The American writer and associate professor at Columbia University is writing the introduction to Garner's three-volume collection of diaries ahead of their release in the US next year.

"I'm a huge Helen Garner fan, but I'm just reading her diaries for the first time," says Jamison, who visits Australia next week as part of Melbourne Writers Festival.

"One of the things that I love in her diaries is these moments where she reckons with the anxiety that telling more personal or domestic stories doesn't matter as much."

It's an anxiety Jamison also grapples with, as a woman writing from her personal experience — whether of heart surgery and abortion in her bestselling debut essay collection The Empathy Exams; her alcoholism and recovery in first memoir The Recovering; or the tiny moments of wonder and drudgery of being a mother to a newborn in her raw new memoir Splinters, which comes out in Australia next week.

"The same person who wrote The Children's Bach wrote This House of Grief," Jamison continues, citing Garner's interior second novel about messy interpersonal relationships, and her non-fiction book about the trial of Robert Farquharson , who murdered his children by driving into a dam in 2005.

"One can pay attention to the everyday and the ordinary and find profound truth there, and also pay attention to the extraordinary or the dramatic or the newsworthy and find a great truth there. These zones of interest or insight aren't actually in opposition."

Jamison, who has been compared to Joan Didion and Susan Sontag, similarly finds profound truth in both the everyday and the extraordinary.

She approaches her subjects — who range from fans of the "world's loneliest whale" to people suffering from a medically disputed skin condition, to herself, her friends, lovers and family – with what feels like radical empathy . A tattoo on Jamison's arm , written in Latin, translates to: "I am human: nothing human is alien to me."

Kindred books

Jamison first came across Garner when a friend recommended she read the Australian author's 1977 semi-autobiographical "grunge lit" debut novel Monkey Grip, while she was writing Splinters.

In Monkey Grip, a fictionalised Garner raises her daughter in the bohemian share houses of 70s Melbourne, at the same time as she tries to extricate herself from an increasingly destructive relationship with a heroin addict.

In Splinters, Jamison charts her early experiences of motherhood, at the same time as her marriage is ending. But it's not only a memoir of motherhood and romantic relationships as Jamison starts dating again: It's also a memoir about being an artist and art's place in our lives, friendships between women, and teaching.

"I do think of it [Monkey Grip] as a kind of kindred book [to Splinters]. It's almost like meeting a friend later in life who you feel such a strong soul communion with," Jamison says.

The books ask similar questions, she explains: "How is one trying to be a mother and an artist? How does a work of literature try to find meaning and great profundity in many, many ordinary moments of living?

"What does the collision look like between the deep hungers for romantic partnership and love and the different kind of love that attaches itself to a child? How can romantic love hold that desire to save somebody?"

Dislodging the cocktail-party version of her divorce

In Splinters, the person Jamison realises she is not able to "save" is her then-husband and the father of her daughter, the writer Charles Bock. Bock's first wife died in 2011, of leukaemia, an experience Bock drew upon for his second novel Alice & Oliver.

Jamison met Bock in 2014, the year she published The Empathy Exams. Six months later, the couple eloped to marry at a chapel in Las Vegas, and they had their daughter, Ione Bird, in 2018, before splitting up in 2019.

Jamison soon started taking notes for Splinters, while living in a sublet next to a fire station with her daughter.

She wasn't interested in writing an autopsy – or the "cocktail-party version" — of the story of her marriage.

"I'm always fighting the impulse to tell a reductive version of the story that maybe leans so hard into what was hard that it forgets what was good, or leans so hard into what's good that it forgets about what's hard," she says.

"I feel like the truth always lives in letting it be all the ways at once."

Instead, Jamison wrote about falling in love with Bock; about his wit, loyalty, laugh and sharp gaze; as well as about his anger; and the distance in their relationship in the first year of their daughter's life.

"All the ways at once" sums up Splinters: the Jamison depicted is at once a mother, an artist, a partner, an ex, a teacher, a friend, and asks how it's possible to be all those things at the same time, even when they're in opposition to each other.

'Not just my own fodder'

But Jamison is not only writing about herself. Writing about other people — whether in essays that mix reportage and personal stories or in works of memoir — has forced the writer to wrestle with how she portrays other people on the page.

She usually shares her writing with the people depicted well before publication, to listen and make changes based on their feedback.

"I believe that practice is what's right for me, and what I believe in, and how I live with what I do," she says.

But it's knottier when it comes to representing her own daughter, who won't be able to have those conversations with her mother for many years.

Jamison navigated the ethical questions by only writing about her daughter up until the age of two (Ione Bird is now six years old).

"The fact that she was young, so young, made it feel less of an invasion of a sort of developed human's life and privacy," Jamison explains.

But she also wanted her daughter to be a very distinct character in the book.

"Before I became a parent, I hadn't spent that much time around babies and very small children," she says.

"I just did not understand the extent to which babies and toddlers have very distinct and actually quite fascinating personalities and subjectivities at very young ages."

While she doesn't rule out writing about motherhood again, Jamison plans to approach writing about her daughter in the future carefully.

"Writing about her over the remaining stretch of her childhood is something that I think I will do much more sparingly and with a great deal of respect for her privacy and for her experiences being hers and not just my own fodder," she says.

"Perhaps some of the writing about her as a child, I'll have to hold onto it until she and I can go through [it together] too. And I imagine I'll probably grant her a bit more veto power than I do to some of the other folks in my life."

Not another Didion

Jamison is part of a tradition of women writers grappling with how to be an artist and a mother at the same time.

She says she's honoured to be likened to her influences, including Joan Didion, but is all too aware of the differences in their writing.

"I think Didion's voice has a kind of coldness or a chill or an aloofness to it, but my voice strives for something close to the opposite," she explains.

Jamison's writing — especially in Splinters — can instead be compared to that of contemporaries who also apply an artist's gaze to the experience of motherhood: from Kate Zambreno (To Write as If Already Dead) to Sheila Heti (Motherhood) and Maggie Nelson (The Argonauts).

But, like domestic life, motherhood is often dismissed as a subject for literary non-fiction.

"There's so much of a sense of, 'well, why do you think your life matters so much? Why do you think your trauma is so extraordinary?' As if one has to think one's trauma is extraordinary in order to write about one's life," she says.

"Just because somebody is interested in themselves doesn't mean they're not interested in the world.

"In my own experience, of being a human among humans, it's often the people who are most curious about themselves who are actually also most genuinely curious about other people."

She says that literary and experimental works exploring motherhood — like that of Jamison and her peers — are helping to change these ideas.

"To bring those traits of writing that we associate with the literary to the zone of motherhood has done a lot of work to position motherhood really where it should always have been: a zone of literary concern, just like any other aspect of experience."

Splinters by Leslie Jamison is published by Allen & Unwin.

Melbourne Writers Festival runs from May 6–12.

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