speech on death anniversary of principal

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Tribute to Founder Chairman

A Special Assembly was organized to pay homage to Late Shri. A.C. Maheshwari, Founder Chairman on his 15 th  Death Anniversary on 2 nd  September, 2016.  A speech was rendered by the Head-girl recalling his great affection for children and his contribution to the world of education. The students sang bhajans in his memory. Mrs.Indira Rani Singh, Director, Mr. Shrish Biyani, Coordinator, Mr. Bhagat Singh, Principal, and teachers paid floral tribute to our Founder Chairman.

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32+ remembrance messages for a death anniversary.

Anniversaries that mark the passing of a loved one can be difficult. Acknowledging these anniversaries by offering words of comfort on the anniversary of a death or providing remembrance messages to mark the death anniversary are simple ways to provide support to loved ones.

Alternatively, you may be the person who recently lost someone and are looking for remembrance quotes for a death anniversary of someone close to you. It can be difficult to put your own feelings into words, so reading the comforting words that others have written on the anniversary of a death can be helpful.

General anniversary of death quotes / remembrance quotes

Here are some general anniversary of death quotes and remembrance quotes for loved ones to help comfort you or someone you love during this difficult time. These quotes about a one year death anniversary are excellent choices if you're not sure what to say and need a quotation about a death anniversary by a poet or writer:

• “Death is never an end, but a To Be Continued…” – Renée Chae
• “The life of the dead is placed in the heart of the living” – Cicero
• “To live in the hearts of those we love is never to die” – Hazel Gaynor
• “While we are mourning the loss of our friend, others are rejoicing to meet him behind the veil” – John Taylor
• “Those we love and lose are always connected by heartstrings into infinity” – Terri Guillemets
• “To live in the hearts of those we love is never to die” – Thomas Campbell

“Love grows more tremendously full, swift, poignant, as the years multiply” – Zane Grey

• “What we once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes part of us” – Helen Keller

1 year death anniversary quotes

If you’re looking for ways you can support a loved one on the one year death anniversary or are looking for inspiration in writing death anniversary phrases, prayers or messages for friends, try out some of these templates. These templates are excellent for those looking for 1st anniversary death messages,

“It’s been one year since we lost [name]. I wanted to make sure you knew that you’re in my thoughts and in my heart during this time. I think of you and [name] often and I’m wishing you peace and strength.”

“While I know nothing can alleviate your loss, I do want you to know we are remembering [name] on this day. [He/she] was a wonderful and loving soul who we were blessed to have known.”

“Today marks one year since we lost [name] and we know you’re hurting just as we are. Without [him/her], our lives feel a little less brighter. Thinking of you and yours during this time. We love you.”

“Even though [name] would likely kick and scream at the thought of people sending messages on [his/her] death anniversary, I just wanted you to know that I’m thinking of both you and [him/her] during this day. I’ll be sure to have a drink in [his/her] honor and watch the sunset with you both in my thoughts.”

“Today I’m thinking of the time when [describe favorite memory] and how much that meant to me. This world is a little more cold without [name] in it and I can’t wait until I can see [him/her] again.”

Words for one year anniversary of the death of a parent

The bond between a parent and a child is special and difficult to quantify. Losing a parent is one of the most painful experiences one can go through, so being there for your friends and family if they’ve lost a mother is important. Sending the right death anniversary message for a mother can be tricky, so here’s some ideas to get you started.

Words for one year anniversary of the death of a mother

The following anniversary quotes are for the death of a mother. The 1st death anniversary message can be tricky to craft as the anniversary of a death is a really tough time. Whether you want to use popular quotes for anniversary of a death or are trying to mark the remembrance death anniversary with your own quotes or messages, this section is for you.

“[Friend’s name], I wanted you to know that you’re in my heart and mind on this anniversary of losing your mother. She was an amazing woman and an incredibly loving soul. Thinking of you always.”

“Your mother was one of the most important, influential, and strong women I’ve had the opportunity to meet. This world is lesser for the loss of her and we are thinking of you on this day.”

“Please know how much of an impact your mother had on the lives of all those around her. She was incredible and we miss her each and every day.”

“I’ve never met a more loving and perfect mom. You were lucky to have her and we were lucky to know her. You’re in our thoughts always.”

“Our family is holding your mother’s spirit in our hearts and minds today as we remember all the wonderful times we shared together.”

“I just remembered the time when [describe memory]. Your mom was famous for doing things like that! I’ll never forget her and am thinking of you and yours today.”

“We made [favorite dish] in honor of your beautiful mother today and are holding you in our hearts and minds. We love you and will always remember your mother and the impact she had on everyone around her.”

"Thinking of you on the anniversary of your mother's death. The anniversary of a death can be incredibly difficult and I want you to know I am here for you, thinking of you, and thinking of your beautiful mother."

Hopefully these anniversary quotes for the death of a mother resonated with you.

Words for one year anniversary of the death of a father

Death anniversary prayers and quotes are difficult to create, especially when you're trying to honor the death of a father. If you're not sure what to say on the anniversary of a death and someone's lost their father, these anniversary of a death quotes for the loss of a dad are for you. Remembering someone on their death anniversary is difficult, but you can support someone with these quotes.

“It’s been a year since we lost your wonderful father and what a year it has been. If he saw you today, we’re certain he would be immensely proud of you. We love you and are thinking of you today.”

“One year down, too many to go. I miss your father each and every day and am always thinking of him whenever I go to [special place]. We know he is smiling down at you always.”

“Your father was one of the most amazing men I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet. What an extraordinary life he lived. We are thinking of him and everything he accomplished on this day.”

“A year has felt almost like an eternity without your father here. We love him and miss him each and every day.”

“One year has passed and we are all thinking of your father and his warmth, kindness, and wonderful sense of humor today. Please know that you all are in our hearts and in our minds.”

“Tonight we are headed to [favorite bar / restaurant] in honor of your Dad! We will never forget you, [name]!”

"Today marks a year since losing my dad. Thank you all for your support during this past year and for keeping both him and my family in your thoughts today. Love you, Dad."

General one year death anniversary quotes

“You’re missed more and more each day. A year without you is almost too much to bear.” - Unknown

“It’s been a year since you passed and your presence is always missed.” - Unknown

“Remembering and honoring you on this day, one year after this world lost a precious soul.”

“A year without you has felt like an eternity. Missing you always.” - Unknown

“Those we love don’t go away, they walk beside us every day. Unseen, unheard, but always near; still loved, still missed and very dear” – Anonymous

"To live in the hearts of those we love is never to die” – Hazel Gaynor

"When a great man dies, for years the light he leaves behind him, lies on the paths of men.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Whichever quote or message you decide to send, your loved one will surely appreciate the gesture and thought. If you haven’t already, it’s a good idea to start up a memorial website so that you can start collecting memories and condolences from your friends and family. Memorial websites help others stay connected to each other after losing someone, even years later. It can be incredibly healing to see memories and messages from those you love after losing someone, especially if it’s been some time since you last spoke.

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There are plenty of ways to host a memorial service that aren’t your traditional formal event. A memorial service can be any event where you remember the life of a loved one, so feel free to get creative with it. If you’re

What to Say at a Celebration of Life Service

Celebrations of life are memorial services that are focused on celebrating the life of the deceased. This celebration can be considered a departure from traditional funeral services which generally hold a more somber and serio

12 Outdoor Funeral Ideas

Holding a funeral outdoors is a great way to abide by COVID-19 restrictions and suggestions while still being able to share a difficult time with your friends and family. Here are some creative (and often meaningful)

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1st death anniversary of our Founder Late S. Pritam Singh Serai

On the 1st death anniversary of our Founder Late S. Pritam Singh Serai, the Satluj family unveiled a bust, immortalising him at Satluj Public School, Sector 4, Panchkula.

He revolutionised education in North India by founding Satluj Public School in a one-room rented apartment in Sector 36, Chandigarh, in 1976, which has now grown to multiple campuses where thousands of students study.

Satluj is the Chandigarh region’s first private, independent school. He’s left behind a legacy for thousands of Satlujians (current and alumni) and teachers spread across the world.

We will always remember his comforting smile, loving eyes and wise sayings.

We miss you, Director Sir (as he was fondly called) and will always uphold your ideals!

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13 Supportive Things to Say on the Anniversary of Someone's Death

This is an important time to reach out, and your words can mean a lot. Whether it's first anniversary of someone's death or beyond, your support can help.

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A few kind words can make a huge difference to someone who has lost a loved one, and the need for support doesn't change as time goes by. It's not always easy to know what to say on the anniversary of a death, but we've got some tips and examples that can help you offer comfort and show you care.

What to Say on the First Anniversary of Someone's Death

The first year after someone dies is really hard. Every important holiday and milestone passes, and getting through that is a big accomplishment (whether it feels like it or not). If a friend or family member has gone through this difficult first year, it's nice to show they're still in your thoughts.

• I know it's been a year since Joan passed away, and I just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you.
• You're in my thoughts today more than ever. Let me know if you want to talk.
• I looked at the calendar today and realized the date. Just want you to know I'm here.
• In some ways, it doesn't feel like a year has passed, but in other ways, it does. Sending you so much love.
• This first year can feel so difficult, and I want you to know I'm here if you need anything at all — today and always.
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Don't stress if it feels a little awkward to bring up the loss. The person you're comforting knows it's been a year (or more), so you're not reminding them of anything by mentioning it. What you're doing is showing you are thinking of them during this time, and that can matter so much.

Comforting Words for Any Anniversary of a Loss

Whether it's been one year or many, the anniversary of someone's death matters a lot. Share a memory or just reach out and let your friend or loved one know you're thinking of them. 

• I'm remembering Jim and his wonderful laugh today.
• Today is an important day, and I'm thinking about you.
• Time keeps on moving, but love never fades. You matter to me, so please let me know if you need anything at all.
• It's the time of year when my thoughts turn to memories of Sarah and the beautiful person she was. Then I always think of you and how much you loved her. Sending you hugs.
• I can't know how you feel today, but I do know I care about you so much. Please reach out if you want to talk.
• Sending you a hug today.
• Remembering my dear friend today and the people who loved him.
• You're in my thoughts today.
• 55 Heartfelt Quotes for Missing Loved Ones at Christmas

As the years go by, what you say will depend on how the family and friends of the person commemorate the day. Some people mark it in a formal way with a toast or visit to the cemetery, and others prefer to remember their loved one privately. You can take your cues from how they talk about the person and what they do on this day.

What Not to Say on the Anniversary of a Death

Although reaching out is almost always a kind thing, there are some things it's better not to say on the anniversary of someone passing away:

• I know how hard this is. (Everyone experiences grief differently, so we don't know what they're feeling.)
• This is such a hard day for me. (Focus on the person you're talking to.)
• They're in a better place this year. (Even if they share your religious faith, this may not feel comforting.)

While it's usually good to be specific and share a memory or something that was special about the person, it's often better to keep it a little general on the anniversary of the death if you aren't sure how the other person is thinking about the day. A simple "I'm thinking of you" is always appropriate.

Remembering Is a Comfort

The fact that you're putting some thought into what to say on the anniversary of a death means you're already going to say the right thing. Just show you care and keep it simple. If the other person wants to talk more, let them know you're open and available. Your kindness will be a great comfort.

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Farewell Speech on the Retirement of Principal of an Institution

In this beautiful season of Christmas , where all hearts are filled with hope and joy; I stand here with mixed emotions. On the one side there is a sense of sadnes s that our Principal is leaving us. On the other hand there is this awesome responsibility I face that of stepping into her shoes. Both the leaving and the taking make this a moment a difficult one indeed.

At this time I recall the poem by P. B. Shelley titled Ozymandias. It talks about a king who made monuments and statues of himself. But as years passed by they were all destroyed and buried in the vast endless desert sands.

Unlike this king some others leave their legacy in the hearts of people which is never destroyed. Such a person has been our Principal. She has scripted love and enduring respect in the hearts of all those who came in touch with her. Unlike buried monuments of stone what she has authored in our hearts will live on.

And as spoken in a famous movie*,

“Look around you. There is not a life in this room that you have not touched , and each one of us is a better person because of you.”

Yes, one of the greatest lessons you have shown us is that you cared for all of us. Therefore you earned the trust and respect of all who came into contact with you.

The respect you showed to each one of us, your willingness and eagerness to involve us in taking major decisions are things that will be remembered. You were dedicated to your task, sincere to the core, simple in life, able to remain calm under pressure, and never yielding to anger.

You were not only able to improve results in all courses but also created a stress-free learning environment for students. You tried your best to improve the quality of faculty and encouraged their development through education and research.

Your student-friendly approach and your understanding of the background of each student showing extra concern for those having problems—both academic and personal—will be lovingly remembered for a long time to come. Your systematic approach to things and your emphasis on punctuality made working with you a pleasant experience.

With all my heart and with the blessings of all present here I wish you a contented and joyous retired life. May you find useful ways to engage yourself in the service of God and men in the days to come. I also request you to kindly accept the gift that we are giving as a mark of gratitude for all that you’ve done for our Institution.

Now let me highlight the area of my focus as the baton is being handed over to me today. I take up this huge responsibility of being the Principal of this great Institution with humble trust in God and the prayer that he will keep me faithful in all that I have been entrusted to do.

My utmost priority and effort will be to create a Campus here which will be admired for its academic excellence, co-curricular pursuits and discipline that will be a model for many other Institutions of this kind.

I seek your cooperation in this regard. I thank all of you and the Management especially for your faith in me and entrusting me with this great responsibility.

As you have extended your kind support in the past, continue the same with greater eagerness and enthusiasm. Together we can build upon the great legacy our dear Principal is leaving behind. Thank you.

You can read this speech on retirement on LinkedIn too.

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78 Heartfelt Death Anniversary Quotes and Remembrance Messages

An anniversary of a loved ones death is always tough. It can open old wounds and rekindle memories that we haven’t thought about for a long time.

After I lost my husband the first anniversary was one of the hardest I went through. Even after the funeral and a year had passed I thought I’d somewhat come to terms with grief but it still hit me so hard.

The pain of a loss never fully goes and is often at it’s rawest and most vivid on days like anniversaries. But whilst for some like me it’s a day that brings back unwanted grief, for others it’s a chance to celebrate someone’s passing .

And if appropriate then you may want to offer your condolences on the anniversary of a death of a loved one to their family or friends. It may even be a significant date like a birthday or holiday – these can be just as difficult as the death anniversary.

Whatever it is reaching out with a message or card can show they’re in your thoughts and you’re there for them.

If you aren’t sure what to write as a death anniversary message for a card or what to say to someone on the anniversary of a loved ones passing then try some of the examples below.

You will find the best quotes and sayings to offer your sympathies or great wording examples for commemorating and remembering the anniversary of losing someone special from your life.

Death Anniversary Quotes

These quotes provide a heartfelt and perceptive look at the effect that death and losing someone special has on people. They are perfectly suited for a death anniversary card or to be shared on Facebook to show you’re thinking of someone remembering a lost one.

• “Death is never an end, but a To Be Continued…” – Renée Chae
• “They that love beyond the world cannot be separated by it. Death cannot kill what never dies” – William Penn
• “The life of the dead is placed in the heart of the living” – Cicero
• “To live in the hearts of those we love is never to die” – Hazel Gaynor
• “Although it’s difficult today to see beyond the sorrow, May looking back in memory help comfort you tomorrow” – Unknown
• “Good men must die, but death cannot kill their names” – Proverb
• “While we are mourning the loss of our friend, others are rejoicing to meet him behind the veil” – John Taylor
• “Life is eternal, and love is immortal, and death is only a horizon; and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sigh” – Rossiter Worthington Raymond
• “Those we love and lose are always connected by heartstrings into infinity” – Terri Guillemets
• “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard” – A.A. Milne
• “To live in the hearts of those we love is never to die” – Thomas Campbell
• “Those we love don’t go away, they walk beside us every day. Unseen, unheard, but always near; still loved, still missed and very dear” – Anonymous
• “In your life you touched so many, in your death many lives were changed” – Melinda Jones
• “Loss can remind us that life itself is a gift” – Louise Hay and David Kessler
• “What we once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes part of us” – Helen Keller
• “Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy” – Unknown
• “The pain passes, but the beauty remains” – Pierre Auguste Renoir
• “Love grows more tremendously full, swift, poignant, as the years multiply” – Zane Grey
• “It’s not always the tears that measure the pain. Sometimes it’s the smile we fake.” – Unknown
• “When a great man dies, for years the light he leaves behind him, lies on the paths of men” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

One Year Death Anniversary Quotes

The 1st anniversary of a death is usually the hardest. Time is a great healer but a year is still very recent so those feelings of grief and despair will still be lingering. These quotes and sayings may help with coming to terms with a death or to offer a small amount of comfort to a friend/family member who is facing a 1st year anniversary of a loved ones departure.

• A year has gone by and I still miss you more than I can possibly say. Rest in peace
• Even after an entire year your loss hurts more than ever. I will never forget you
• As each day passes we miss you more and more. Rest in peace
• A year doesn’t seem like such a long time but without you here it has felt like eternity. Not a day goes by we don’t long to have you back
• Even after a year my heart aches for you. You were the light of my life and I shall always remember our time together
• You will always have a place in my heart and, a year, two or even eternity won’t see your memory fade. I love you my darling
• Those special memories we made help you to live on even though you’re gone. I will use today, the 1st anniversary of your passing, to remember what a truly wonderful person you were
• Time moves so slowly and even after a whole year I don’t think I’ve fully accepted you’re gone
• The pain of losing you will never fade. After a year I’m still lost without you
• “I remember the first day without you… I’ve never been the same” – Jennifer Ross
• 1 year to this day heaven gained a new angel and I lost my soulmate. You shall never be forgotten my love
• A year of grief and pain yet you’re still all I can think about. Rest in peace
• Since you left I’ve felt nothing but sorrow. I long to see you one last time and tell you how much I miss you
• On the one year anniversary of your death I will raise a glass to a true inspiration
• We mark a year of your passing with the same feelings as every other day – sadness that you’re gone and wishing we could tell you one last time how much we care for you

Death Anniversary Messages

Use these messages to send or say to someone on the anniversary of the passing of a loved one. They will appreciate you taking the time to think of them on what is likely to be an emotionally hard day.

• Sending you my warmest thoughts and hugs on this anniversary
• Hoping you find strength on such a difficult day. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to me if you need anything
• May the love and support of friends and family help you find the strength to get through today
• You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Stay strong
• Goodbyes hurt when the story is not finished and the book has been closed forever
• Wishing you heartfelt sympathies on such a trying day
• I hope you can find some peace and think of happier memories on a day like today
• Please accept my most heartfelt condolences on such a tough anniversary
• Grief is the last act of love we can give to those we loved. Where there is deep grief, there was great love
• You never stop loving someone, you just learn to live without them

Death Anniversary Sayings

• Sadly missed along life’s way, quietly remembered every day. No longer in our life to share, but in our hearts, you’re always there.
• The saddest moment is when the person who gave you the best memories, becomes a memory
• Remembering you is easy, I do it every day. Missing you is heartache, that never goes away
• A thousand words won’t bring you back. I know because I’ve tried; neither will a thousand tears, I know because I’ve cried
• Sadly missed along life’s way, quietly remembered every day. No longer in our life to share, but in our hearts, you’re always there
• Your memories are a treasure I keep in my heart, but they can’t answer the question, why did you have to depart

Death Anniversary Messages For Friends

Losing a close friend is so tragic . We never truly get over the important people we lose from our lives. So if you want to mark the anniversary of the death of a friend, or know someone who is also mourning a friends anniversary then these messages are a good way to reach or

• “While we are mourning the loss of our friend, others are rejoicing to meet him behind the veil”
• Sending all my love to you today. Be strong
• The hard part wasn’t losing you, it was learning to live without you
• Praying you find some comfort and peace on such a hard day
• When someone you love dies you never quite get over it. You just learn to slowly go on without them. But always keeping them tucked safely in your heart

Death Anniversary Quotes For Mother

The loss of a mother will be a time of tremendous pain and suffering. If you’ve lost your mom then you can use these messages to remember her life and all she meant to you and those around her. Commemorate her life with a touching mother death anniversary quote.

• You are forever in my thoughts mom, all these years later. Your memory is eternal and I miss you so much
• To my much missed mother – you were so special to me and even though time has passed it never diminishes your memory and spirit. They live on long after you. Rest in peace
• I feel your presence watching and guiding me mom. Even though your gone I know you’re still always there to help if I need it
• I find comfort in remembering the countless good times we had mom. Whenever I think of you I think of us smiling and laughing. I miss you more than words can say
• I have cried so many tears mom, it’s broken my heart to lose you. I miss you and hope you’re up in heaven keeping watch over me

Death Anniversary Messages For Father

The loss of a father is just as distressing as losing your mother. These messages will help to remember his life or comfort others who have lost their own dad.

• Your memory will live long in our hearts dad. Rest in peace
• To one of the most incredible men – you may be gone but you will never be forgotten
• I still pray for you every day and find comfort knowing that your soul is in heaven watching over me. Rest in peace daddy
• We remember your passing today dad and celebrate your life. You were a truly special man and one who left a hole that could never be filled
• Here’s to your father – I know he would be so proud if you

Death Anniversary Wishes For Brother

Many siblings have relationships that are stronger and deeper than we might imagine. So when you lose a brother it can be absolutely devastating. The quotes and messages below will help to commemorate your brother and remember his legacy.

• Another year has gone since we lost you and still find myself inconsolable. I miss you terribly but will never forget your memory and your life
• Today I remember my brother, who was the most amazing person. He will never be forgotten
• My love for you grows stronger every year and I cherish the memories I have of you like no other. I miss you terribly bro
• You we’re my big brother and the one I looked up to ahead of others. Losing you left a scar that will never heal
• We may have fought and got on each other’s nerves but I loved you more than words will say, bro. Rest in peace

Death Anniversary Quotes For Sister

Reach out to someone mourning the loss of their sister or commemorate your own sisters amazing life amidst the pain of missing her with these death anniversary quotes and messages.

• Today I remember my amazing sister. My sister was a wonderful person and today I will remember all the kindness and love she bought I my life. I miss her more every year
• To my dearest sister – every year I think it will get easier and every year it’s just as hard. You were so special I can’t let you go. I hope you’re up in heaven looking down on us. RIP sis
• All the amazing times I had with my sister become so vivid today. She was a one of a kind and I miss her with all my heart
• Your sister was truly special and we all miss her dearly. I hope your coping today and I’m here if you need me
• Until we meet again, Rest in peace baby sister

Death Anniversary Messages For the Loss of a Child

Possibly the most difficult loss to deal with is that of a child . As parents we should never outlive our children. So the anniversary of a son or daughters death can be amongst the most painful time imaginable for the parents. If you know of someone facing the anniversary of their child’s passing or are dealing with it yourself then use these quotes to comfort and offer your support.

• So long my baby. Everyday I miss you and it hurts like the first day you gained your wings
• Losing you was the hardest thing that’s ever happened my angel, and even after all these years the pain is still there. I’m forever thinking of you
• Words fail to express how much I miss you. My lonely comfort is the knowledge I will see you again. Until then your memory helps me through another year. Rest in peace angel
• I offer my most sincere condolences for your loss and the pain you must be feeling on this anniversary. Don’t think twice about reaching out if you need anything or just to talk
• Remember as much of the good times as you can and know your family and friends are here to support you today

How to Celebrate a Loved One’s Death Anniversary

Depending on how you feel about the anniversary of a loved ones death you may want to celebrate or commemorate it in some way. If so then the following ideas can help you honor their memory and allow you to deal with some of the grief.

• Visit their resting place : If your loved one was buried in a cemetery then visiting their grave and maybe bringing flowers or mementos that remind you of them is a traditional way to remember them on the anniversary of their passing.
• Create a memorial : Set up a memorial in your home using items such as photographs, candles or anything that reminds you of them. You could also create a scrapbook or memory box filled with special memories and items that help you remember them.
• Release balloons or lanterns : You could gather family and friends to release lanterns or balloons in honor of your loved one. Their closest friends or family would probably appreciate being included and part of whatever way you choose to commemorate them.
• Make a donation : if your loved one support a charity or there was an organisation close to their heart then you could make a donation in their honor as a way of doing some good in their name.
• Host a dinner or get-together : Bring friends and family together for a dinner or get together and share your fondest memories and stories of the deceased.
• Light a candle : a small but touching gesture is ti light a candle in honor of your loved one and let it burn throughout the day.
• Do something they loved : you might choose to do something that the deceased really loved doing. It could be listening to their favorite or visiting something special to them and you.

These are just a few ideas to help you find the right way to commemorate the anniversary of a death.

As an example I have an area in my garden that I’ve dedicated to my husband. It’s a small corner with a memorial plaque and bench. I like to spend time there on the anniversary of his passing, usually by myself. But later I have dinner with family and we remember how much we loved him and why joy he brought us.

Whatever brings you comfort and feels right on the day is how you should approach it though.

Tips on Coping with Grief

If you’re struggling with the grief that comes with the anniversary of a loved one’s death know that you aren’t alone. Most people, myself included, find these anniversaries very difficult. Here’s a few tips to get through that grief and pain:

• Acknowledge your feelings : remember that it’s okay to feel sad or overwhelmed on a death anniversary. Don’t try to suppress your feelings or be embarrassed about them.
• Allow yourself to grieve : Give yourself permission to grief in whatever way you feel comfortable with. That might be talking with friends or family, writing a journal or just spending some time on your own. Go with what feels right.
• Connect with others : being around other people can help. It may not be right for everyone but many find spending time with others who understand what you’re feeling and knew the deceased can help to feel supported.
• Take care of yourself : when we relive the pain and grief of losing someone so special to us it can negatively affect our emotional and physical well being. That’s why it’s important to care of yourself. Rest, sleep as much as you can, eat well and do the things that being you happiness.
• Seek professional help : lastly if you’re struggling to cope and your grief is impacting your life in a very negative way then consider seeing a therapist or professional who can help you through it.

Additional Resources

For more help in coping with a loved one’s death anniversary these resources can help:

• Cruse Bereavement Support – offer support and advice for anyone grieving or struggling with loss.
• Good Grief – helping children and families understand grief.
• Griefcast – a podcast that examines the human experience of grief and death but with comedians, so it’s lighter and funnier than it sounds.

Sally Collins is a writer and the founder and owner of Sympathy Message Ideas. Her passion is to help others deal with grief and provide assistance with talking to those grieving.  Learn more about Sally .

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Card Messages » Anniversary Messages » 82 Touching Death Anniversary Quotes and Messages

82 Touching Death Anniversary Quotes and Messages

The anniversary of someone’s passing is a hard time for all who knew them. Sometimes the pain of loss fades and an anniversary can bring it all back very quickly. Others like to use an anniversary to remember the passing of someone, perhaps visiting their grave and laying flowers.

Often it is supportive to send a card on the anniversary of someone’s death to let them know you are also thinking of them.

The most special people in our lives – fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters etc. – leave behind such strong memories that it is impossible to forget them. So commemorate their lives and remember them on the anniversary of their passing.

If you are struggling with what to say in a card for the anniversary of someone’s death, or you want to write a message and celebrate the passing of someone special from your own life, use the quotes and messages below.

Table of Contents

Death Anniversary Quotes

These quotes are both an insightful and touching take on death and its impact on people. They can be used in an anniversary card for someone’s passing or on social media like Facebook to let someone know you are thinking of them on what will be a tough day.

• “In your life you touched so many, in your death many lives were changed” – Melinda Jones
• “Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy” – Unknown
• “Sometimes I just look up, Smile, and say I know that was You” – Unknown
• “While we are mourning the loss of our friend, others are rejoicing to meet him behind the veil” – John Taylor
• “Although it’s difficult today to see beyond the sorrow, May looking back in memory help comfort you tomorrow” – Author Unknown
• “Those we love don’t go away, they walk beside us every day. Unseen, unheard, but always near; still loved, still missed and very dear” – Anonymous
• “They that love beyond the world cannot be separated by it. Death cannot kill what never dies” – William Penn
• “The life of the dead is placed in the heart of the living” – Cicero
• “To live in the hearts of those we love is never to die” – Thomas Campbell
• “Love grows more tremendously full, swift, poignant, as the years multiply” – Zane Grey
• “Death is nothing to us, since when we are, death has not come, and when death has come, we are not” – Epicurus
• “When he shall die, Take him and cut him out in little stars, And he will make the face of heaven so fine That all the world will be in love with night And pay no worship to the garish sun” – William Shakespeare
• “To live in the hearts of those we love is never to die” – Hazel Gaynor
• “A grave is braced not just by a tombstone but by angels as well” – Adabella Radici
• “It’s not always the tears that measure the pain. Sometimes it’s the smile we fake.” – Unknown
• “When a great man dies, for years the light he leaves behind him, lies on the paths of men” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
• “Good men must die, but death cannot kill their names” – Proverb
• “Those who have lived a good life do not fear death, but meet it calmly, and even long for it in the face of great suffering. But those who do not have a peaceful conscience, dread death as though life means nothing but physical torment. The challenge is to live our life so that we will be prepared for death when it comes” – Unknown
• “Life is eternal, and love is immortal, and death is only a horizon; and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sigh” – Rossiter Worthington Raymond

One Year Death Anniversary Quotes

An anniversary of a passing is tough at any time but the first year anniversary is one of the toughest. The pain is still raw and the memories at their most vivid. If you are wishing someone well on the anniversary of a death or remembering one of your own these quotes are a good way to try and make sense of it all.

• It’s already been a year and I still can’t believe you’re gone.
• I still miss you every day and even after a year I’m not strong enough to accept you’re really gone
• You are missed and more and more each day
• “I remember the first day without you… I’ve never been the same” – Jennifer Ross
• Every single second we spent together was was a wasted opportunity to tell you I love you
• Each year I think it will be easier and each year I miss you just as much
• A year has gone by but your memory will never fade. I love you and will forever hold you in my heart
• Time is supposed to be a healer but after a year it’s still as painful as the first day. You will live on in the wonderful memories I have
• I was blessed to know you and treasure the time we had together. It’s been a year now and I miss you so much. You will always be in my heart
• A year sounds like such a long time but without you it has gone in the blink of an eye. We all miss you more than words can say. Rest in peace

Death Anniversary Messages

These messages are written to let someone know you are thinking of them on the anniversary of the death of a loved one.

• The saddest moment is when the person who gave you the best memories, becomes a memory
• You never stop loving someone, you just learn to live without them
• Remembering you is easy I do it every day. Missing you is heartache that never goes away
• Grief is the last act of love we can give to those we loved. Where there is deep grief, there was great love.
• Goodbyes hurt when the story is not finished and the book has been closed forever
• Sadly missed along life’s way, quietly remembered every day. No longer in our life to share, but in our hearts, you’re always there.
• May knowing you’re in the hearts and thoughts of others help you and yours through this time of sorrow
• I know that no words will help or ease the pain but know that you are in our thoughts and prayers
• May you find strength in the love of family and in the warm embrace of friends
• I hope these words, however small, offer some comfort on what I know is a tough day. Wishing you peace and strength
• Wishing you the deepest sympathies on this anniversary

If you’ve lost a Dad then these messages are perfect for remembering his life and how important he was to you and everyone he knew. Commemorate his passing with one of these touching father death anniversary quotes.

• Your father’s memory may bring tears to your eyes today. I hope you’ll honour these memories with a smile someday
• You will forever remain alive in our hearts and memories Dad
• When I think of those I know and love I can’t think of one You tower aboveYou are better by far Than all the rest These four words say it all “Dad you’re the best”
• A thousand words won’t bring you back. I know because I’ve tried; neither will a thousand tears, I know because I’ve cried
• Sadly missed along life’s way, quietly remembered every day No longer in our life to share, but in our hearts, you’re always there
• Even though you’re not here I still feel your presence every day. I know you walk beside me and give me strength. I miss you so much Dad.
• To a wonderful father and special man – gone but never forgotten
• We will always remember our dad as the most special man in our lives. His strength and wisdom have helped shape us, and we miss him dearly
• I pray for you every day and know your soul is in heaven watching the vet us. I miss you Dad
• On the anniversary of your fathers passing honour the memory of a truly special man. He was one in a million. RIP

Like the loss of a father the loss of a mother is a profound and deeply painful time. Use these messages to remember your mom or comfort others remembering theirs.

• Everyday I miss you and it hurts like the first day you gained your wings
• I have wept, I have cried, I have grieved for you. My heart is in pain, I miss you so much mom
• Remembering you is easy, I do it everyday. Missing you is a heartache that never goes away. I miss you mom
• You are near even if I don’t see you. You are with me even if you’re far away. You are in my heart, my thoughts, my life, always
• I still see your face before me Your voice I long to hear I miss and love you dearly God knows I wish you were here Tears fall freely from my eyes Like a river filled with grief My only comfort now is that From pain you’ve found relief Missing you Mom
• I take comfort from knowing your always with me, watching, helping and guiding. I will always miss you mom
• Losing you was the hardest thing that’s ever happened and all these years later it still hurts. I’m forever thinking of you, mom
• Your memories are a treasure I keep in my heart. Good or bad times I can think of you and smile. I will see you again one day, my dearest mother
• Its not been long since you left us and I still miss you terribly. I hope you’re up there watching over us
• To my dearly departed mom – your spirit will never fade and the time we had be a constant reminder of how special you were to me

For Brother

Brothers and sisters form special bonds that go beyond friendship and so the loss of a brother is a tragedy for those family members affected. These death anniversary quotes for your brother will help you remember and commemorate your sibling and his memory.

• I can’t believe it’s another year since we lost you. Life won’t ever be the same, but I promise to always honour your memory and never forget you. RIP brother
• My heart breaks every time I think of. I can’t describe how much I miss you, brother. One day we’ll meet again, until then I remember you as the truly amazing person you were
• We all miss you more every year, but that unique bond we had as brother and sister makes it so much worse. I won’t forget you, bro – your little sister
• Through all the fights and squabbling you were still the person I looked up to the most. Rest in peace brother
• It’s been [number of years] since we lost you and the pain is still so strong. I treasure our memories like nothing else and remember them even more on anniversaries like this. Until we meet again, rest easy brother
• To the best brother anyone could have had – I miss you more than ever.
• Even though our time together was short I was lucky to have had such a special brother. I cherish you and all you did and will always remember you’re warmth and love
• Remembering my wonderful brother today. Never forgotten, always loved.

The anniversary of a sisters passing can be tough, but hopefully you can remember her life and all the times you had together with these sister anniversary quotes.

• Today I remember my amazing sister. She was a truly special person who’s love and generosity I miss more every year
• You were our everything and every year we remember what a terrible loss from our lives you’ve been.
• Sister dearest, I shall never forget you. We are connected by more than family or blood, but by a love greater than anything else. I miss you terribly.
• Another year without you and another year reminded of how wonderful you were. It never gets easier and nor should it – losing someone so special will always be heartbreaking. I just cherish the memories I have.
• Rest in peace baby sister. Until we meet again someday
• Remembering all the special times my sister and I had. She was like no one else and I miss her more than ever
• Your sister was an inspiring and generous person. Her legacy will live on and on the day we remember her passing I’m sure she would be proud of everything you’ve done.
• No words can express how much I want you back. I know I will be wth you again though. Rest in peace sister

For Friends

The loss of a good friend can be just as devastating as a family member. If you’ve lost a close friend or know someone who’s anniversary it is these messages can provide support.

• Many caring thoughts are with you today
• When someone you love dies you never quite get over it. You just learn to slowly go on without them. But always keeping them tucked safely in your heart
• The hard part wasn’t losing you. It was learning to live without you
• Because someone we love is in heaven there’s a little bit of heaven in our home
• “While we are mourning the loss of our friend, others are rejoicing to meet him behind the veil”

Related Posts:

• 45+ Birthday Wishes for your Brother: Touching…
• 40 Romantic Sayings and Touching Love Quotes
• 55+ Heart Touching Quotes for Friends to Show You Care
• What to Write in a Sympathy Card: Touching Message Examples

Sally Gibson is the founder of Someone Sent you a Greeting, a holiday/celebration website. Sally’s writing work has been mentioned in Woman’s World, Yahoo, Women’s Health, MSN and more. If you have any questions get in contact with one of the team via the about page .

14 thoughts on “82 Touching Death Anniversary Quotes and Messages”

What about Siblings? I think to myself parents are supposed to pass before their children. Spouses although this may sound heartless it is not meant to. Partners can be replaced. Even the passing of a friend can be tolerated because of other friends. But my only baby brother? Never. There really are no words…

There certainly should be something for siblings, as well, there should be something for loss of a child. I lost my only son, my youngest child, he was 16 … my daughters lost their baby brother. There are no words for those losses. There are no words for any loss. To go on about how you can replace spouses and friends, is not very fair. You cannot measure your pain with those of others. Those are very strong connections. You literally give yourself to a spouse, like you give to no other human being on earth. Your parents love you more than anyone else in the world, once they are gone, nobody will ever love you like that again. Both of my parents are gone, and I still miss them terribly. People have very different relationships with their friends, and some of those connections, are stronger than that of a sibling. I know that you are hurting very badly, and I’m going to assume by your words, that this happened not so long ago. Your little brother cannot be replaced, but, honestly, nobody can be replaced. I hope that you can find some comfort, in your family and friends. I wish for peace and comfort for your heart and mind. Take good care of you.

I agree 100% I lost my Husband 11/28/18 & My sister 11/17/20

Yes! What about siblings? I scrolled up and down the article thinking I missed it…

I agree wholeheartedly

There is a tribute to brothers and sisters in the above quotes… But I’m so sorry for you’re loss! No matter who we have lost on this earth, if it was someone close and dear to us, it hurts deeply! And God the Creator of Heaven and Earth is our ultimate comfort, for He knows our sorrow and cares deeply for each of us! Reach out to Him! 🌹

God has help My Life My God. My Rock. My support.. My God Can Do All Things?

To Emily and Solange,

My sister passed away just before her 54th birthday, in 1997. She was a mother to me, well before my mother left us. I am 5 years younger than her. The pain of her passing was as difficult as it was when my mother passed, but I didn’t have that shoulder to lean on.

I sat down and wrote a poem in her memory, ending it with “Your Brothers and Sister”. I have reread that poem, and though it imparts some sadness yet today, I read it with the same love that wrote it, her love, kindness, and giving as a person.

You two need to honor your sibling in the same manner, it helps.

Looking for the anniversary for “My wife..”

I think every type of significant loss should be acknowledged. Sadly, people often assume how much someone is grieving based on the type of relationship you had with that person (not how close you were), whether or not you were immediate family, how long you were married, whether or not you were married, etc. Sometimes you can have a stronger connection with a friend than a sibling. I’ve seen wives lose their husbands and the one who was married for one year is hurting just as much (sometimes more) as someone married for 30 years. I lost my boyfriend and his death anniversary was not even acknowledged. We were in a committed relationship and very much in love but people in general don’t take that nearly as seriously as someone who was married. I know people who were married for years that don’t love each other but it doesn’t matter. Those people get supported but the fiancé who loses their fiancé is not nearly as supported although the love could be much stronger. Another example is someone who loses their adopted child and there is no comparison in the amount of support they get from someone who loses their biological child. My point is that it’s not always a perfect formula and people should not assume. In my situation where no one took my loss nearly as seriously only increased my grief and hurt. Every loss is different and someone shouldn’t assume how the griever is feeling , how they should be feeling, and how close the relationship was. Support is essential for healing and I know what it’s like to get minimal support. It’s painful.

I had to read this twice because those would of been my words exactly. I too lost my committed boyfriend and we were very much in love. I received minimal support from several family members and I certainly would of gotten a lot more support from others if he was my husband. Today is his death anniversary and not one person acknowledged it. It is painful.

I agree there should be more for siblings. And even more importantly, for the loss of a child?

And grandchildren. I never thought in a million years that I would have to see one of my children bury not one… but TWO of her children.

Losing them was extremely hard. But what’s even worse is watching my daughter go through with burying her children.

What about babies. . .

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Whats your Grief

Coping with a Loved One's Death Anniversary: 30 Ideas

Holidays and Special Days / Holidays and Special Days : Eleanor Haley

For further articles on these topics:

My mother's death anniversary was this past week, October 23rd to be exact. As soon as the fall weather hit, I could feel it approaching. I will forever associate the colorful leaves, cool breeze, and crisp air of Autumn with the helplessness I felt seven years ago knowing my mother could slip from life at any moment.

This year, as with past years, I spent time thinking about how I would cope with the day, I even started a blog post about it. But then guess what happened. The day came and went, and I completely forgot about it.

On the morning of October 24th, I stepped out of my house, and as soon as the smell of fall hit me, I thought, holy crap, is it the day? When I looked at the date and realized it was actually the day after , I was shocked. How did this happen???

Yep...again. I did the same thing last year. So, apparently, this is how I dysfunctionally deal with my mom's deathiversary ( is deathiversary a word?) .  Boo...I don't like it.  For me, forgetting feels a lot worse than remembering the pain; which is why I'm writing this post today - to implore you to  not be like me.

Litsa and I have written many blog posts about dealing with grief on special days .  We helped you reframe Valentines Day,    we offered you 64 New Year's resolutions for grievers ,  we suggested a fun family activity for remembering loved ones on Easter ,  we came up with a list of ways to remember your loved one during the holiday season,   we've written 17 posts to help you cope with Mother's Day Grief (and counting) ,  and Litsa laid out a   rock star tutorial on Father's Day sulking.

We obviously advocate for finding constructive ways to acknowledge and cope with tough days; although I will totally support you in ignoring them if you so choose. But we highly recommend on days like the death anniversary that you find at least small ways to honor and remember your loved one.

You (and others close to the loss) can decide how. There is no right or wrong way. Some will want to fully feel the sadness and emotion of the day (what I like to call 'wallowing with a purpose'), some will want to stay positive, some will want to do a quick and casual acknowledgment, and some will want to spend the entire day focused on the deceased. Whatever you do, we recommend you think ahead, anticipate the hard parts, and make a plan.

30 ways to honor and remember your loved one on their death anniversary:

1.  Take flowers to the gravesite, a memorial site, or another place where you go to remember your loved one.

2. Look at old photos and home videos.  Do this alone and have a good cry or reminisce over photo albums with family and friends.

3.  Turn digital photos into a photo album on Shutterfly or Snapfish.

4.  Donate a few of your loved one's old belongings to a shelter or other charity.  If you don't want to give away any of their things, just make a charitable donation in their name.

5.  Volunteer with a charity or cause close to your loved one's heart.

6.  Plan a memorial service or candlelight vigil.

7.  Reach out to someone else grieving the loss via letter, card, phone call, or e-mail.

8.  Host a dinner party and invite those who knew your loved ones best.

9.  Cook your loved ones favorite dish, use one of their recipes to prepare a meal, or host a pot-luck and ask people to bring a dish your loved one liked.

10.  Light a candle in honor of your loved one.

11.  Visit or spend time in a place where you feel close to your loved one.

12.  Take the trip you had been planning or dreaming about.

13.  Read old notes, letters, or e-mails from your loved one.

14.  Treat yourself to a massage.

15.  Distract yourself by getting together with friends, going to the movies, or taking a short trip.

16.  Watch your loved one's favorite movie.

17.  Make a mix CD of music that reminds you of your loved one.

18.  Create a new ritual to celebrate the life of your loved one.  Choose a ritual that can be repeated in the years to come.

19.  Do something your loved one would have enjoyed.

20.  Build a memorial with portraits, personal items, and objects that remind you of your loved one.

21.  Spend time journaling about your loved one.

22.  Make a toast or say a prayer or blessing in their honor.

23.  Plant a tree in your loved one's name.

24.  Establish a scholarship in their name.

25. Celebrate the strengths you have developed as a result of your loved one's death.

26.  Search for joy and feel gratitude .

27. Make a keepsake box of things that remind you of your loved one.

28.  Finish a project your loved one was working on.

29.  Continue to work towards a cause your loved one was involved with.

30.  Tell a story about your loved one to a stranger.

We love when grievers help other grievers.  Comment below and share with us how you dealt or will be dealing with the anniversary of a loved one's death.  What did you find helpful?  How did you honor and remember them?

We've said it once, we'll say it again, you really ought to subscribe to receive posts straight to your e-mail inbox.  

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You can find What’s Your Grief? Lists to Help you Through Any Loss wherever you buy books:

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347 comments on "coping with a loved one's death anniversary: 30 ideas".

Sham   February 28, 2023 at 9:03 am Reply

My mothers anniversary is approaching soon . Thanks for this blog – it made me see that I was not alone feeling sadness as the days approaches. She passed on 15th March last year , 2021. I will do something special on the anniversary in remembering her . Cook her favourite meal .

Alison   January 22, 2023 at 4:43 pm Reply

It’s going to be a year this week You left us and the world is bleak, I don’t know what I’m going to do As I complete a year without you. No one knows I’m still so sad, I try and still I feel so bad I can’t be free from sadness still Even thought I think I will I haven’t got a brother spare To take your place or show they care I never had a sister, so You were my only one, you know. Now you sleep for evermore Where sadness can’t come back, for sure But Friday’s coming and I will Get through it though I miss you still Be there for me on this big day And hold my hand, don’t go away, Look after me cos I need you to I love you Matthew, I love you.

Jane   December 30, 2022 at 6:24 pm Reply

My moms one year death anniversary just passed and as much as I want everyone to remember what a great person she was I wasn’t able to do anything for her and it makes me even sadder. I emotionally wasn’t ready yet. It seems a year would be long enough but losing her so suddenly to covid and the way it all happened a year isn’t long enough and I’m still in shock about it all. She was my best friend. She’s the only one who couldve helped me navigate this type of grief I’m going through and she’s not here anymore. A bunch of my cousins got together and went put flowers at her grave and tell funny stories etc about her(she was the sweetest funniest kindest most positive person)after at lunch to celebrate her life. I couldn’t go, my sisters couldn’t go we are a wreck. Mom was our rock, the glue that held us all together, she was our whole world and it’s just getting harder. 🙁

Mom   October 3, 2022 at 3:56 pm Reply

My oldest son died after a brief battle with covid in 2021. He had tried so hard not to get sick, always wearing a mask and keeping his distance, but got it anyway. The time since then has been excruciating, from the shock, to the numbness, to the intense sadness. I talk to him a lot, which helps, and I used to sense when he was near (a cool touch on my arm, finding things like dimes in areas he used to be in). However, I don’t sense his presence like I used to, and I’m in tears off and on every day. Staying busy with work will distract me, visits to the cemetery let me unload a bit, but I’m “just not here” most of the time. I see the passing of days as bringing me another day closer to being with my son again. Such a good boy who grew up to be a fine man, always kind and giving. My heart feels broken forever

Son   February 19, 2024 at 10:32 am Reply

Mom, I love you so much and it hurts me to see you this way. I’m here with you every day but your depression has a hold on me. I would rather you enjoy your life than morn losing me. You are a good mother, always there for me but as much as I like the attention, I want you to be happy again more so. I know no one can take my place but consider adopting, fostering or simply housing a child in need. Let your strength as a parent help you help others in need. Find ways to cheer up please, as I would so much rather see you smiling again.

Sharon   October 1, 2022 at 11:20 pm Reply

Monday will be one year. My brother and I are going to lunch and to the cemetery. He’s adjusted much better than I have. I’ll try not to fall apart. I’m not sure what I’ll do with the rest of the day. I can’t believe it’s been a year. I don’t want it to be a year! It went way too fast and it shouldn’t be that long. But it is. I thought I’d be doing better by now. I’m starting counseling with Hospice this month. My heart goes out to all who are dealing with this.

Diane   September 1, 2023 at 5:03 pm Reply

My sons death anniversary is September 6th he would have been 32 this year. He loved the movie “the nightmare before Christmas” and had several characters from the movie tattooed on his arm. In October we decorate our yard with those characters to honor him.

Robin   September 28, 2022 at 8:07 am Reply

These are all ways to stay in grief. People have become in such need of constant attention. “Poor me someone I know died”. It’s a fact of life. All this honoring and attention getting behavior is a modern thing. Let these dead people rest in PEACE. Stop using their death for attention.

Litsa   March 8, 2023 at 6:21 pm Reply

Quite the opposite – it was a modern invention (1920s) not to continue honoring and memorializing the dead. Freud began saying what you say here – that it was not healthy. Modern western culture changed then to discourage people from mentioning and honoring the dead. But what more recent research has shown is that it is normal and natural for people to do so. Even Freud, later in his life and after losing his daughter, revised what he said to share he didn’t think this was actually the problem he earlier suggested. What research has found is that for many people these connections are actually what HELP them to move forward. It does not keep them stuck in grief, but rather allows them to know that their loved one’s memory can still be part of their new life that grows after the death. When people were pushed to severe these ties and memorials, that actually often made people more unwilling and fearful to move forward. So what we are now seeing a movement back to the type of remembering and grieving that was natural and accepted before the modern, western era changed it.

Lizzie   March 13, 2023 at 7:23 pm

Thank you Litsa for your helpful words, and the historical context you provide – and you did it in a kind and lovely manner – my mom would have loved knowing this!

Alex   August 28, 2022 at 12:17 pm Reply

Three years ago today around 4:00 pm e.s.t. My brother ended his life. I still miss him even after this time has passed. I wished him as a lonely child. A brother that I could play with. Once my wish came true, I foundly called my wish. I recalled the story at his wedding. Everyone at the wedding was in tears. Now I am as I write this. I have our favorite vodka shots and pickled herring we called roll mops ready as I have for the last two years. I will toast him for the memories we created. Then I will toast with his shot how much I miss me. I will eat the two pieces of herring alone. Wipe my tears and live on, Continuing my lonely pilgrimage without him. ❤️ him and miss him.

Walker   July 14, 2022 at 10:48 am Reply

It’s never easy to lose someone close to you, and our hearts go out to you during this difficult time. Whether it was expected or came as a shock, grieving is a process that takes time. There are no set rules on how to grieve, and there is no timeline for healing. Grief is a very personal experience, and everyone copes in different ways.

If you’re struggling to cope with your loss, know that you’re not alone. There are plenty of resources available to help you through this tough time

Alex   August 28, 2022 at 12:22 pm Reply

So Ture Walker. Thank you for sharing. Painful emotion only another individual can have empathy for and with you. Keep the memories close and let time help with the healing.

Connie   December 20, 2022 at 6:27 am

Thank you for sharing your story of your brother and his memory. What a beautiful way was to stay connected with him. Keeping him close and speaking of him often must brings you comfort. Reading your post has helped me know that I will be keeping my son and his memory alive with me and speak of him often.

Sue   July 13, 2022 at 8:30 am Reply

My Borther sadly passed away at the age of 50 on 11th July 2021. Monday was the first anniversary of him passing. My brother had liver cancer was given 3 – 6 months to live but only lived for 5 weeks. I lost one of the most important people in my life and the past year has been awful. Knowing the 1st year was upon us I knew I had to deal with that day how I wanted to. Family members said we should all be together but I just wanted that day with him. I have thrown myself into many things in the past year to remain distracted (enabling me t cope) but that day I cleared myself of any distraction. I took the day off work, I played his favourite music, when through all the photo’s and built up a photo album of his life. I cried, I smiled…yet I genuinely felt like I had spent the day with him. Going forward I plan to do exactly that each year – just me and him – in my mind and my heart. The following day I felt at peace with the fact I did just that and will continue to do so he’ll never to be forgotten, always be loved and remembered. R.I.P. Ian Putnam – Love you Bro, more than I can ever tell you.

Mandy   March 24, 2022 at 12:21 am Reply

It will be 5 years this weekend since my mom passed and the anniversary of her death is the hardest day of the year for me. She was terminally ill from cancer and had a physician assisted suicide. I knew the exact minute she would die for weeks and I can still hear the doctors footsteps in my mind. I was 6 months pregnant with a 2 year old and a 4 year old at home and had to compartmentalize my grief in order to be there for all of them. With 3 young kids, a pandemic, a move to a new town and the world in chaos I’ve never needed her more… and she’s not here. I’ll be spending the day by myself ugly crying, feeling sorry for myself, and eating chocolate bars ….then will pull it all together for another year until I do it all over again. It’s not pretty but it works for me!

Ari   December 18, 2021 at 12:14 pm Reply

I’d like to offer an alternative perspective: I WISH, completely and sincerely, that I could do exactly what you did–not even notice that awful anniversary until the day is passed.

I honour my late wife on her birthday, remember our anniversaries (marriage and “together”), talk about her with our kids and friends, keep many of our shared traditions at holidays. But I lost her to a sudden medical event one day, and there is NOTHING about THAT –ing day that I want to commemorate, honour, or in any way relive. It was an extended trauma, the horrible, horrible worst day of my life.

Every year I try to ignore it as hard as I can until it’s over. But it’s impossible, I can’t *not* be aware of what day it is. And when I think about it, I become aware of the time, and then I have to fight the desire to think about what was happening at every moment through that day. I’m continually trying to pull myself back into the present. I always feel relief when the clock ticks past midnight and it’s over.

Coming up on 5 years, so I’m open to anyone’s suggestions on how to power-ignore. It’s on a weekend this year, which may make it easier not to watch the clock. I already stay off Facebook for a few days around then.

Mike   January 27, 2022 at 10:42 am Reply

After 45 years of the most beautiful marriage, I lost my wife on Halloween. I will never commemorate or have anything to do with that awful day of the year again. I will however honor her on every other occasion that we happily shared together for so many years – birthday, wedding anniversary, Valentines, Mothers Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc. She is my everything, and for me there can be no peace or comfort without her. I lost her physical body, but her spirit and love dwell within me, and together we will continue to celebrate the special times together. Love never ends.

Cathy   December 13, 2022 at 9:15 am

Ari and Mike, I am so sorry for your losses. I lost my Dad suddenly in April of this year (2022) and I feel exactly the same way – I have no desire to “celebrate” his last day with us…I know it will be extremely difficult when the anniversary comes and right now I’m not sure how I will spend the day and days around it. But I will celebrate his birthdays, holidays and his and my Mom’s anniversary always. ❤️

Alex   August 28, 2022 at 12:28 pm Reply

Mike, I came across your post while writing mine today. No one can share this lonely pilgrimage you are on. Live on with the beautiful memories you both created. That is your wife’s greatest gift. Celebrate her. She lives in your heart forever.

Rachel   November 23, 2021 at 3:51 am Reply

I have a question regarding myself- My dad passed away on the holidays. Not just any of the holidays, the one year anniversary of my father’s passing was EXACTLY on New Year’s Eve, December 31, 2020, during COVID19. It was due to complications from surgery while making a full recovery from colon cancer- it had nothing to do with Corona Virus, he had tested negative twice- the doctors took him off the anesthesia when they were waking him up, he had massive heart failure and he never woke up. I never had closure with him, and worst of all, my dad never got to say goodbye to me and my mom. This past year was hell- my mom’s mother, my grandma who’s 80 years old and a MAGA person, disinherited us and labeled us as crazy people, on the 20th anniversary of September 11 of all days, and not only there’s the fact that my mom is now a new widow, I feel like my mom and I are the sisters Elinor and Marianne Dashwood in Sense and Sensibility, and we are both fatherless. It feels like this is my first holiday season being an orphan with my mom. I know this sounds like the worst case scenario right now, but I really don’t know what to do on how to celebrate and commemorate Christmas and New Year’s anymore. My amazing saint of a boyfriend who is a godsend for me, he believes it would be poor taste for me to spend Christmas and New Year’s of 2021 all alone with my mom. But I sadly feel like that Christmas is going to require me to be lonely and depressed this year because he has to work at the hospital on Christmas Day, and he’s already got plans for Christmas Eve with his family (he doesn’t have much family left either, only a few people left other than his mom and his brother- his dad passed away also from cancer when he was five). Plus, my mom had to cut out a lot of dead weight from my father’s past, because all of his friends from the science fiction conventions revealed to us they all hate my mom and think that both me and my mom are crazy and should be locked away after our first month of January in bereavement from losing my dad. Even my mom’s sister refuses to talk to us and she won’t stop shunning us. I have friends, but they don’t know my mom very well and my mom has absolutely no friends, she’s scared of meeting total strangers and trying to make friends from people she’s never met when she goes out in public such as going to church, etc. That said, what do you do when number 1- my father was cremated when he passed away, so he has no gravesite- number 2- my dad thought he was certain he’d live to see 60 years old in 2021, and he never made his final arrangements before his death in the final hours of 2020, and finally, the big one- what, or how, is there a way, for me to celebrate the new year 2022 and celebrate Christmas, my dad’s all-time favorite holiday for that matter because my dad was our Santa Claus to us- when my mom and I will be spending the holidays completely alone with absolutely nobody? Should we just spend the holiday crying until we get migraines, with no presents since we’re both living below poverty and very close to losing our home? How is Christmas possible for me and my mother this year, or the future for that matter?

Litsa   December 18, 2021 at 4:49 pm Reply

Rachel, I am so sorry for what you are going through. Please know that there is no right or wrong for how you spend the holidays – if alone with your mom feels right, that is what you should do. If you go to our categories we have a section called “holidays and special days” which has dozens of articles with ideas and tips that might be helpful for you. Though your dad doesn’t have a gravesite, anywhere that you feel close to him can be a place where you go in the same way you might visit a gravesite. It could be a restaurant, a beach or park or hike or other outdoor place he liked, or anywhere else that means something to you. Remember that Christmas is about the values that mean something to you – consider what those are and find small ways to capture that in your day. Whether that is comfort, generosity, faith, spirituality, service, family, friendship, or whatever else, know that it might not look the same as years past, but you can still try to include some of those things in small ways. I hope some of the other posts on the site prove useful.

Debbie Johnson-Clinton   October 18, 2021 at 10:41 am Reply

my mom died 5 years ago in my arms. I accepted her death my body has not . On the anniversary of her birthday and her passing my body trips out !!!! I was diagnosed with epilepsy , ms and als 8 weeks after mom died. I have fought so hard to get well but when the anniversary of her passing comes around my body goes into stress and shock mode I cannot control it no matter how hard i try . Its killing me . It is so bad i have to be sedated on the anniversary of her death and her birthday for 24 hours twice a year …………..I want this madness to end how do i get my body to accept her death ??????????

Sue   February 26, 2022 at 11:30 am Reply

Debbie i am sorry for your loss. I hope this helps. I lost my partner and was extremely shocked because it was so sudden and unexpected. He was so fit. I grieved intensely and had flashbacks and PTSD. I had counselling but felt i needed something more. I found out about this lady via a Bereavement friendship group. She did a talk. Her name is Maureen Fearon n she does Tapping n NLP. I trusted her to help and after a long session she marvellously helped me to “switch off” these flashbacks and it truly felt a miracle!! Shes a very kind lady and truly helped me! It was worth every penny and i would recommend her and also use her again without hesitation. Its possible to do via zoom and i hope she can help you and any others tht require help with troubling problems. Think how great it wd be to switch tht problem off Debbie! She also gives you coping mechanisms to top up if needed. She also told me about someone with possible Parkinsons that she was able to help. He is ok now and no longer shakes. I will say a prayer for you Debbie that you will get the help you need! Good luck take care Sue m xxx

Bobbie Hamfeldt   September 25, 2021 at 2:20 am Reply

On the anniversary of my son’s death, I purchase dozens of bouquets of sunflowers. I drive to a neighborhood that is low resourced and in need of cheering up. I leave a bouquet of sunflowers on each porch with a note attached saying that I’m honoring my son Erik. If I see people walking on the sidewalk I give them the sunflowers in person. I’ve engaged with so many people who are in shock that I’m not charging money and am just giving them away for free. The smiles I see and the “thank yous” I receive help heal the hole in my heart. I feel connected to my boy who I feel is smiling down on me. It’s exactly the kind of thing he used to do when he was alive and I feel so close to him. ♥️💫

Nina G   March 24, 2022 at 10:23 pm Reply

Omg! That is so beautiful.

Alex   August 28, 2022 at 12:33 pm Reply

What beautiful way to remember your son. I lost my brother today three years ago. I can only try to understand the pain your moving and living through after your son’s death. There are no words to comfort you. Keep living on and remembering your son. He must be smiling watching over you.

Susanne K.   September 21, 2021 at 11:56 am Reply

One of the things that has helped me most is designing rocks (sometimes elaborate sometimes simple) in his honor, sometimes keeping them and sometimes placing them outside near a river, the ocean, off a hiking trail. I say something about him on the rock, or I say something to him. Either way it feels therapeutic to get my thoughts out there into the world, maybe for other people to find and read, and then they will think of him too. I feel like when people think of him, even if they didn’t know him, it keeps little pieces of his soul alive here. Silly maybe, but it helps me.

Nessa   June 8, 2021 at 4:02 pm Reply

It’s the first anniversary of my beloved partners passing tomorrow the 9th of June. I have a helium balloon which says I love you on it and I’m going to write him a message saying how much I love and miss him and let it go. I did the same for our anniversary, valentines day and what would of been his 50th birthday last month. It makes me feel closer to him.

Sarah   April 29, 2021 at 3:34 am Reply

My mum died one year ago on 7th May 2020 – she was only 74 and died alone in hospital. Due to lockdown restrictions she was not given the care she needed to bring her back to health and the hospital would not let our family discharge her so we could get a second opinion. They put her on end of life care by misusing emergency covid procedures and I feel she died before her time.

I have got her an angel with an inscription to place at her memorial stone.

THOSE WE LOVE DON’T GO AWAY, THEY WALK BESIDE US EVERYDAY. UNSEEN, UNHEARD BUT ALWAYS NEAR. STILL LOVED, STILL MISSED AND VERY DEAR.

Jane   December 30, 2022 at 6:16 pm Reply

I’m sorry for your loss I just wanted to say I could have wrote what this. I lost my mom too. It’s just soul crushing and such an awful way to lose them. I hope you’re doing ok.

Karen   April 18, 2021 at 8:55 pm Reply

Tomorrow will be the 5 year anniversary of the last day I spent with my dad. I thank God I got to spend the time with him. He got up and I made him pancakes. We sat on the front porch with my mom. We took some selfies. We talked about what the name of the road was they lived on. He ate hot dogs for dinner. Soon after he got sick and was taken to the hospital. That next morning At 4:20 am he would pass away with most of his family by his side. I held his hand almost not stop for 4 hours and cried as he passed. He kept squeezing my hand. Each year my grief is worse 2 days leading up to the anniversary, the anniversary and the day after.

Mary   February 24, 2021 at 6:58 am Reply

I lost my brother, two years in April. It was sudden, and that is called “complicated grief.” No prolonged illness, nursing home. Less time to say good bye, and how much he meant to me, and the family.

Hold your loved ones lose to you, and treat them well, if you can. You never know, when they will depart.

Alex   August 28, 2022 at 1:10 pm Reply

Mary, I came across your post while writing and posting mine. This Complicated Grief you composed is an insightful description of the empty, painful, lonely journey we are dealing with our loss. Thank you for posting.

Lynda Zutski   January 19, 2021 at 8:02 pm Reply

My mom will be gone 5 years on January 27th & I am hoping I can go to her gravesite. I feel with covid & all the dreaded things that has happened in the world the past 10 months I’m more overwhelmed with grief over her passing. The last time I went to her grave for Christmas I just broke down. It’s been extremely hard not having her here. She was always a pillar of strength & I think I need that right now.

Isabelle Siegel   January 22, 2021 at 11:03 am Reply

Lynda, I’m so sorry to hear that you’re experiencing such pain. It’s absolutely normal for grief to feel worse right now. I highly recommend you give this article a read: https://whatsyourgrief.com/crisis-grief-feels-worse/ Please know that, no matter what, you are not alone. All the best.

ERNESTO VILLEGAS   January 13, 2021 at 8:54 pm Reply

Well, no one is permanent in the world. My lost is the same as yours, so I sympathized everyone specially those who are still in state of agony, I know how you feel. 6 days from now is my wife’s 1st death anniversary. I know and understand that everything has a purpose. She left us with our 2 kids, our elder son is just 5 years old and the younger one is turning 2yrsold next month.

God knows how we really feel during our darkest moment. He knows what we are going through. It seems lonely, sad but everything is going right. We need to come out from the box and be brave and be with GOD along the way. We will gonna the light in the days to come, and we out better and stronger.

Dom   November 29, 2020 at 9:47 pm Reply

My grandfather died on. December 8, 2019 at 1pm due to an Aneurysm Burst.

December 8, 2020 will be the first anniversary of his death. I want to have a family gathering and invite 10-15 people, but due to COVID-19, we probably will not have a gathering or only 1 or 2 will come. Plan for the 8th is to send prayers, have a mass for my grandfather, visit his grave, and order and cook lots of food and have a great meal. We live in the Phillipines so death anniversaries are usually done with our own traditions.

IsabelleS   November 30, 2020 at 11:01 am Reply

Dom, I’m so very sorry for your loss. I’m glad that you are finding ways to honor his life and the anniversary of his death even during the pandemic. All the best to you!

Anastasia   July 28, 2020 at 2:49 pm Reply

My mother doesn’t even have a headstone and her ashes were stolen from me, her only child. I have just 4 photos of her, and no letters, videos, etc. Her important belongings, heirlooms and things she made (she was a crafter & artist so there were many) were taken/stolen as well. It’s so difficult to not have these things, and be unable to do so many of your suggestions. Her death anniversary – and my life – would be a whole lot easier if I was given back some of these things, but that’s unlikely to ever happen. I’m now unable to cook so cannot even make her recipes either. Sorry to be a downer but what do people in my situation do?

mar   February 17, 2021 at 10:52 pm Reply

wtf this made me so mad. not you, i feel for you, but hearing about ashes being stolen makes me angry for no good reason.

if you have hobbies of your own, you can incorporate your mother’s memory into it. for example, if you do music, you can dedicate a song to her.

i’m so sorry for you loss, and i hope all is well.

Tina   December 15, 2021 at 9:57 am Reply

That is devastating! My situation is not the same but I thought to share. I have a loved one who died and there is also no headstone to visit and I don’t have ashes. I finally planted a tree because I needed somewhere to memorialize my loved one and somewhere to visit in my grief. It helped me to see my loved one’s name somewhere (on a plaque) and to have somewhere to go to pay respects or sit with my grief. I hope something will help comfort you with all of your loss.

Betty   May 9, 2023 at 1:33 am Reply

Will be praying for you, that for as long as you are alive, her memory will be all you need in your heart. For me, keeping the Lord in my heart, has helped me after losing my daughter almost 21 years ago. I still think of her every day. She was 28 years old with severe cerebral palsy. Only word she could say was momma.

Jamie   July 10, 2020 at 7:28 am Reply

One year today I lost my mom. Followed by my deceased best friend’s cat for whom I gad been caring as my own. Followed by having to move out. Followed by Covid 19. Followed by the loss of my 2 boy cats, who had been the light in my life, in the spring. There’s nothing left. Probably doing it wrong but this went on FB today : A year ago today, my world ended. Then it got worse. I am alone and lost and terrified. And that is how it will always be. I’m tired of arguing. Tired of listening to advice. Tired of trying. Tired of pretending. If you’re looking for a happy upbeat person look somewhere else. I have nothing left to give you. I’ll still be here, joking and pretending to care. There will be cat pictures. But my heart is no longer in anything. Sorry. Have a great weekend.

Vicki Volpe   August 5, 2020 at 9:56 am Reply

Jamie, I felt so bad for you as you I read your story. my father will be gone a year on 8/17/20. He was the best father any one could ask for. He was the glue of our family. He found out he had lung cancer (never smoked a day in his life) and died 5 weeks later. I promised him that I would live everyday the best i can in his memory. Life can be really cruel and I am sorry you are having such a hard time. Think of your mother and how she would feel that you are not going on with your life in the best way you can. If you ever want to talk via email please let me know. I care about people that are having like you that seem to be really having a very hard time. “i Care”

Nevaeh   October 6, 2020 at 9:01 pm Reply

June 12 is the same day i lost my god mom and for me it was not easy because i started acting out but i turned it all around when my grand mom died i thought i owed it to both of them to turn my life around and now i’m still not doing so good but i’m doing ok

IsabelleS   October 7, 2020 at 11:04 am

Hi Nevaeh, I am so sorry for the multiple losses you have experienced. I want you to know that I see the efforts you are making to turn your life around and I am proud of how far you have come. I hope this website brings you some comfort.

Tina   December 15, 2021 at 9:59 am Reply

There is no doing it/grief wrong. <3

Traci   June 12, 2020 at 12:22 pm Reply

I have a dumb question. I am approaching Mom’s anniversary this month and Dad passed 3 months ago. I am trying to figure out ‘the day’. For example Mom died June 25, 2019. When I was looking at it monthly, gone 6 mos, 7 mos, etc it wasn’t always on the 25th. Yes 6/25/2020 is the day we lost her but when looking at it monthly do you count it every 4 weeks or on the 25th of every month?

Tina   December 15, 2021 at 10:03 am Reply

I used the date as the anniversary (so if it was January 31, I would use the 31st as the month marker but at first, I counted the weeks that went by too as however many weeks it had been). I probably counted both week and month anniversaries for the first 6 months to year. I think you can do whatever works best for you.

Angelica   May 2, 2020 at 7:23 am Reply

Today is exactly a month since my mother passed away.I am all alone since then due to the lockdown. I had to take care of everything and go home without her. I couldn’t eat for a week,when I wake up I cry whenever I realize she’s not here anymore.My sister is in another country and could not go home due to the pandemic lockdowns.It was a difficult time really and I feel bad that we could not give her a proper memorial service that she deserves. I still talk to her at home,I know she is still around. Honestly it gets harder everyday,because you forget about her being sick.Before I’m comforted with fact that she’s no longer suffering but now as the days go by, I just miss her,her comforting voice,her presence.I do not know how to face Mother’s day but I know I have to. I’m starting to question if I have really accepted that she’s no longer here. I can’t focus on anything,there are days that are alright and there are days like today when sadness just takes over everything and you just hope that it will get easier.

Anthony Pucci   February 28, 2020 at 4:15 pm Reply

Today February 28, 2020 is exactly one year since my fiance passed away. We were together for 11 years and so much in love. We were planning on starting a family and getting married. Well at least that is what I wanted but I never got a chance to ask her because she passed away. Her heart gave out on her and she was only 32 years old. I wish it would have been me instead of her. She was such a bright light on this dark planet that we live on. She could make you laugh no matter what mood you were in. I cried for 3 weeks straight, all day and all night. I didn’t even know that was possible for someone to cry that much. I miss her so much and I don’t know how I will ever be able to move on. I try and keep myself busy but that is only putting a band-aid on it. This hurt will be with me till the day that I die. Hopefully that is sooner than later. Life is a very difficult thing to deal with. I will always love you and I will never forget about you!!

RIP Krystal Hope

Selasi Akakpo   February 22, 2020 at 2:04 pm Reply

I lost the love of my life on 23rd february, 2019. My world was turned upside down ever since. She was my best friend, my mother, my sister and my wife. I visited the psychologist to help make meaning of life but my situation my pain was no better. Frankly life is meaningless in the longrun. Had it not been our 2young innocent children, l would have love to join my beloved wherever she is. As her departure anniversary comes tomorrow, my prayer is that she feels happier where she is till we meet again if there is any existence after this life. …….Still the One. Forever in my heart.

Dawn   February 8, 2020 at 11:15 pm Reply

I lost my twin boys jack and Connor on feb20 and feb21 2006. I was almost 24 weeks pregnant with the two boys when I gave birth prematurely . I could never had any other children . Every year I feel pain hard on my heart on their birthday. I wish I could hold them everyday. I feel so jealous of mothers with living children especially around this time of year . I especially wish this hole in my heart would mend . Everyone in my life somehow forgot about this pain of how I lost my boys so many years ago and just go on with their lives on feb 20th every year without a thought of my boys and my sadness anymore . Funny how this date that is so significant for me is just another day for everyone else. Thanks for letting me vent . Just feeling terribly sad .

Fern julia   January 10, 2020 at 6:56 am Reply

I am coming up to our daughters 1st year feb 18th which was family day my 22 yr old daughter lost her fight after 41 days in the hospital and 7 long years; her demons took over. She was a victim of human trafficking and then became an addict she tried to get clean but it was stronger then her. She overdosed but we got her back after 22 days in a coma; then the hospital pushed her;feeding tube through her stomach and then she had to have brain surgery it was all to much for her fragile body could handle, so every parents worse nightmare I had to hold her in my arms while they Unplugged the machines and I heard her last heart beat, my heart stopped with her. Now we are trying to go and figure what we should do on the 1st Ann

Anvitha   December 5, 2019 at 5:56 am Reply

Hi..i don’t know if this will ever reduce my anguish and pain i am going through past one year..i lost my younger brother on 25/12/18..and we got to know about it only on 27/12/18 and was already far away from all of us physically..he was alone in the attic for two whole days and we were so helpless, away from him and unable to reach him..it was a nightmare for the entire family until we could trace him out..mental depression over a breakup at the age of 24years took him away from us..he curbed to the loneliness..but he tried everything he could to come out of it before taking such a drastic step..its almost an year since the unforgettable and unforgivable incident..i feel angry with him for leaving us alone but the love we have for him overcomes any other strong emotion..i would give everything i have and everything i don’t have to have with him us again..christmas is no more beautiful to any of us..i can’t talk to my parents about him as they feel sad if i am in pain..work helps to keep me going but nothing helps me when i am alone..there is no single day when i forgot him..i would like to do something special for him on his death anniversary..i want to distribute goods to all the kids in an orphanage in his name and i hope all the prayers will reach him

Eve   December 6, 2019 at 6:15 pm Reply

Hi i understand your pain. I lost my little brother 10th of December 2018, and we found out it two days later. It was so devastating. I would like to talk with you more. My e-mail is elleuqe85@gmail

Jeanette   December 23, 2019 at 1:54 am Reply

I also lost my younger brother 12/25/2018 , feels like I lost my brother and my parents because our lives have forever changed. I empathize your pain as we have so much in common.

Jay   November 23, 2019 at 2:39 pm Reply

A balloon release helped.

neill   October 24, 2019 at 3:22 am Reply

October I dread, I lost my dad and sister to cancer and today is the 24th my birthday and its the day my dad was taken. I was overwhelmed with dreams last night and woke up in a terrible state. I don’t seem to be able to cope 🙁

Brenda   October 21, 2019 at 5:03 pm Reply

Hi! I don’t know how I came across this site, but I am ecstatic! . I wish this was a private group on Facebook so we could chat & listen more often. I dread October through January. October for some reason reminds me of what’s near. My fave Holidays: Halloween, my Birthday, Thanksgiving & Xmas. I lost my Mother in 2005. She died 5 days before my birthday in November. There is something about October that sets me up for sadness each time. It’s her fault that she isn’t here with me, with us. Her addiction made her love “Cocaine” more than she loved her 32 year old daughter, 27 year old son & 13 year old baby girl. A day doesn’t go by that I don’t think of her. Some days are better than others. If I think about her too much I get those knots in my stomach. She died 5 days before my Birthday and I am turning the same age she was when she died. All I can hear echoing is the number 47. Every year has been hard, but this one…..,

Helen   October 18, 2019 at 4:30 pm Reply

The one year anniversary is coming of my husband’s suicide. I can feel the tightness in my chest when I think about it; increasing in intensity as each day gets me closer and closer. In some ways it feels like a million years and experiences ago. And sometimes the time feels like the blink of an eye and I am standing in that garage looking at him and wondering why he would do this. I have experienced the worst and the best since that day. Government agencies refusing to help right to perfect strangers saying exactly what I needed to hear at exactly the right moment. I see from these posts that I shouldn’t expect anything to change in the future. Sad, but comforting.

Anka   January 20, 2021 at 6:41 am Reply

I lost my friend M almost six years ago. March 2015 she was killed by a man I can never, ever forgive, and her loss sparked so much tragedy and heartache.

She was a beautiful soul. I am older now than she was when she died, and I’ve had to leave my home state for work. I’m in the air force and while I was looking at train fares for her anniversary today I realised I might not even make it home. I have a deployment coming up that could keep me away.

I have never missed an anniversary before, and while I knew this might happen joining defence (missing important dates like anniversaries and Christmases etc) it really struck me all of a sudden. I grieved for her like I haven’t in a long long time. I think about her every day, but talking about her is easy now. She was and is so important to me, and today felt like losing her all over again. I know that grieving never really stops, we just learn to live around it, but the feeling hit me so hard and fast I felt physically winded.

Isabelle Siegel   January 22, 2021 at 10:56 am

Anka, I’m truly so sorry for your loss. It’s normal and okay to have good and bad days. You’re right: Grieving never really stops, you just learn to live around it. You may want to check out this article: https://whatsyourgrief.com/grief-recovery-is-not-a-thing/ All the best to you.

Edward Vendetti   October 18, 2019 at 3:50 pm Reply

My husband passed away 02/12/19 and this will be his first birthday 11/05. My plan is to release balloons first thing the morning of his birthday. I am then off to work for half a day. In the afternoon I am getting a new tattoo in his honor with both our initials joined by a heart. After that I will treat myself to dinner at one of our favorite restaurant. Once home I will have his favorite ice cream cake sing happy birthday and surely cry. After I dry up lol I will open the card I got him read it aloud and then open the present I got him which I will wear (beaded bracelet) that I know he would love. I will always celebrate my Jorge and know he is always with me and that we will he reunited when my number is called… much love to all… stay strong and courageous ????

Linette   September 29, 2019 at 11:49 pm Reply

October 1st 1983 it will be 36 Years since my Father shot himself. I was only 6years old and I am still very hurt,alone and angry. I have had nightmares of those hours that lead up to him taking his life. My mother has gotten rid of everything of his even his ashes. I have tired to speak to her about my grief or share Memories of my father and all she does is get angry with me and tell me that I should already be over this. Never wants to talk to me about him. I do feel alone. And others dont want to hear or see me in pain. And i am a little ashamed to go to a therapist. Every October is so very hard for me that i have internalized my pain for so Long that the whole month of October i am very sick or really depressed and just last year i had such a painful mirgrain only on one side of my entire head that no medicine helped. I do enjoy and thank this site to try to help me with ways of celebrating his life

Lisa   October 1, 2019 at 6:33 am Reply

Linette, I’m so sorry about the loss of your father to suicide. My father also died by suicide earlier this year. The trauma of his loss has been incredible – and the resulting loneliness has been both unexpected and terribly sad. I guess it’s impossible for those who haven’t experienced this kind of loss to understand. While initially not at all in my comfort zone, I’ve found great help in seeking all available sources of care – trauma counseling, suicide bereavement support groups, and online suicide bereavement resources. It’s been empowering for me to do what I need to do to begin to heal. Please know, as you remember your father’s anniversary today, that you are not alone, and that others do care and support you in your grief. I hope you find what you need to honor your grief today.

SARAH MCPHERSON   September 20, 2019 at 4:35 pm Reply

hello, September 25th, 2018 , my husband went to the store to buy cigrettes and he never came home. he was murdered in the parking lot as he was getting into his jeep to come home. as the first anniversary of his death approaches, nothing is easier emotionally, i still think he will call or come thru the door. i miss him terribly.

Karen Decker   September 23, 2019 at 8:17 pm Reply

Hi Sarah, My daughter was killed in a car accident on September 25 2016. I cant believe it’s been 3 years, and I still think she will walk through the door in the morning. She left a special piece of her behind, my grandson. As much as I love him he cannot replace my daughter. Having him does help me through the rough times . I’m sorry for your loss and I wish there were words to make it better but infortunately there are none. You have to remember the good and bad times and know you will in time find it easier to deal with the anniversary. I haven’t reach that time yet but I will honor her on the 25th.

Samantha   September 16, 2019 at 11:19 pm Reply

On this day 9 years ago at 117am my beautiful 6 year old boy was pronounced dead! It wasn’t his time, he was misdiagnosed & mistreated & it resulted in his untimely & painful death! I used to release green & black balloons (he was a Ben 10 fanatic) but now I buy a White Rose for every year he has been gone, I have it wrapped in green & black paper & ribbon, my aunt bought me a beautiful candle with a poem inscription about my son & I light this & burn it all day in his memory! Nothing ever changes the way I feel on this day, there is anger, sadness & lots of pain

morosky.co.uk   August 23, 2019 at 6:58 am Reply

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Marlene Manto   August 11, 2019 at 5:43 pm Reply

On 19th September 2017 my husband was killed in a glider accident. That date is coming up again for the second time, and again, I have a plan. I don’t know how I got through the first year without him but I know I depended on friends and family to help me through each day. On 19th September 2018 (one year anniversary) I invited them all to come to my house for ‘Memory Day’. Yes, that’s what I call it. In the morning we distributed my husband’s ashes out on the ocean, and in the afternoon we had a party! I felt ‘safe’ with all these wonderful people around me, and I took the opportunity to stand up and publicly thank each one for staying by my side.

Well, 19th September 2019 and the second anniversary will be here soon and this time I have decided to travel to the other side of the world (Berlin) to mark ‘Memory Day’ with my husband’s family there. Again, I will feel ‘safe’ being surrounded by the people who loved him, and I’m sure, who care for me too.

As for Memory Day next year? I will consider this after the second one passes but I know it will definitely be marked, and I will have friends and family around me to help me get through the day. I can’t imagine ever letting the day slide by without noticing as my life was changed forever, but I also don’t want the day remembered only in sadness. I want to celebrate the life my husband lived, and acknowledge that he will always be remembered.

Patricia R. Reid   October 18, 2019 at 6:03 pm Reply

I love your idea. Nov. 13, 2019 will be third anniversary of when Paul took his last breath. I have been numb ever since. I just returned from a retreat to write about grief and loss, and today I feel stronger and ready to commemorate that day in a special way. Thank you.

Christy Spencer   July 22, 2019 at 8:29 pm Reply

On July 28, 2019, it will be a year since I lost my Mom to dementia. This past year has been a rollercoaster ride for me in every way. It was six months before I felt “normal”, again. After a year in an “emotional” hell, I am at peace with her not being here with me on Earth. Also, when I thought my life was over, out of nowhere came something I thought I would never experience, again. Happiness! I now know how truly precious life is and am determined to live it to the fullest. R.E.M. said the “Sweetness Follows” and I’m happy to say that it does!

Ayana   July 8, 2019 at 10:35 am Reply

Hi everyone, today is the first anniversary of my fathers passing. My dad was battling kidney disease, which brought on a whole heap of other ailments to my dad’s health. I have been struggling with the fact that he is really and truly gone, and the fact that a whole year had passed made it even harder. I was planning to visit his grave site, but honestly I have been making every excuse not to go. I think the first year is the hardest, and I pray it gets easier to cope as the years go by.

Rachel   September 22, 2019 at 9:42 pm Reply

I am coming up (Nov 4 2019) of the year anniversary of my dads passing. It was very sudden, no warning 36 hours and he was gone. I feel your pain about the first year being awful. I feel like the first 6 months I did not even know myself, if that makes sense. I thought it was get easier, and maybe some days it is but overall I don’t feel like it is.

I am sorry for your loss, and I too hope it gets easier as the years go by.

Darlene   July 7, 2019 at 12:53 pm Reply

I lost my daughter to cancer. I know she is in a better place, free of pain but my pain has overtaken my life. My heart is breaking. Sometimes I feel like I can’t breathe. I live alone and my every thought is of my precious girl. The anniversary of her passing is July 27. I don’t know how I am going to make it through it. Pray for me and pray that my girl will somehow show me a sign she’s OK.

Moira Hill   July 23, 2019 at 4:37 pm Reply

Hi Darlene, Ive just found thus site and read your post about losing your precious daughter. My heart goes out to you. I lost my son in January and I’m struggling but I just know that one day you will feel more at peace. I’m praying for you to see a sign that she is happy in heaven now. I truly believe loved ones stay close. God bless.

Irene   July 25, 2019 at 1:58 am Reply

Hi Darlene, Im sorry for your loss. I lost my twin daughter Natalie on July 26, 2017. Her 2 yr anniversary is coming up, I live alone and find it hard to cope. Maybe we can email each other to help us cope [email protected] my name is Irene. Anyone on here have any coping ideas?

Anissa   July 3, 2019 at 9:07 am Reply

Today is the 1 year anniversary of my grandmother’s death. The emotions are hitting me in waves. I helped my mom take care of my grandmother for 6 years. The pain hits differently when you watch someone decline, build your life around their medication schedule, then that dedication is completely gone. I know that death is apart of life, but seeing my mom get very depressed this morning, made me feel so helpless.

Mary   May 8, 2019 at 10:27 pm Reply

Shortly after my mother’s passing a woman I worked with approached me. Her kind words of support were appreciated, even when she admitted to me, “It’s been 10 years since my mother died and I still miss her… still grieve her.” I’m sure she meant that you never really get over the death of your mother, but to me, it wasn’t that I wanted to get over anything, I just wanted to feel something different, like a sense of peace and stability. I felt like the best of who I was left with her, so I grieved her and I grieved who I was when she was here. No one ever tells you that when someone you love dies, a large part of yourself goes with them. My mother, Carolyn was a remarkable woman who loved her family, dearly and deeply. She saw the best in her kids and was our source of encouragement. Even now, years after her passing, she still sends me her love through others, like an expected hug from a friend or the kind words from someone you work with or even a stranger. She’s still here with us, inspiring us to be happy and to live each day in gratitude. June 13th of this year will be 10 years. I will spend it laughing with those I love and be truly appreciative for a gift I never asked for but was given to me and my siblings. I will spend the day encouraging family, friends and strangers that they matter and that we can share in our losses and celebrate too. Blessings to you all

Nina   November 20, 2020 at 8:22 pm Reply

Thank you for writing about your mother’s death anniversary. Next week will be the 5th year of my mother passing. I still cry almost every day thinking about her. From the description of your mom, she sounds similar to my mother. My mother died at 1:19 am. I answered the phone call from the hospital. This year her death falls on the same day as last time (Sunday). Despite my husband being with me, I dread that 1:19 am time. Perhaps I I will sleep on the couch so I don’t have to relive that awful moment in time.

Jan   April 17, 2019 at 1:06 pm Reply

I have been doing many of these things year round. My mom died 5 yrs ago in Jan., my dad 1 yr Feb. 12 and my nephew died almost 1 yr. ago in May. I wear my dad’s watch and wedding ring, many of his old t-shirts. Wear mom’s rings and other jewelry. Visit the cemetery often – leave flowers. Sit in mom & dad’s room often (they lived with me). My sister and I talk about them all the time. For my nephew’s birthday, we toasted him and speak of him often. Grief is a real, I can’t come up with a G-rated word. I feel as if I will never get over the loneliness and isolation I feel. My heart will never stop breaking. I pray for direction, but it doesn’t come. I have been to groups and that was a bust. I’ve been to therapy and doesn’t help. My sympathy to everyone who is experiencing what I am feeling.

Ron   February 20, 2019 at 10:06 am Reply

Evelyn, is it possible that you forgetting your mother’s anniversary on the day of the event was your mother’s gift to you and possibly her way of trying to comfort your by not having you worry about it? Maybe she wants you to make less of it and move on with your life.

The one year anniversary of my own daughter’s passing is coming up next week. I will never forget her and she knows that. For me, trying to cope with that still is difficult and am actually trying to downplay it more than memorialize her, for my own good. I think a person should do whatever helps them best get through it. I don’t view it as “forgetting”, I see it more as not making it harder than it has to be.

Megan   February 7, 2019 at 7:14 pm Reply

My mom passed away a decade ago tomorrow. A decade. I grew up, from 16 to 26. I’m a functioning adult, with a job, a nice, healthy relationship, friends, and responsibilities. But it doesn’t change the fact that 10 years ago, my mom did her last dose of crack/cocaine and left me here to figure this out every year. For some reason, the decade part of this is the hardest. Ugh, I’m glad I found this site. Thank you.

Lanette D Sweeney   September 20, 2019 at 12:44 am Reply

I’m so sorry your mother left you that way. Addiction hijacks our loved ones. My son died of a meth and heroin overdose three years ago and I am trying to focus on the memories of him before the addiction swallowed him. Whether or not you have those memories of your mother, it sounds like you’re doing well. Be proud of yourself. Some grief is like walking around with a sword in your heart… forever… yet somehow learning to breathe around it. I wish you well.

Marlize   February 7, 2019 at 5:45 am Reply

My grandmother passed away tomorrow one year ago. We found out on 5 Jan 2018 she has pancreas cancer. Mom and I were devastated so we made plans to take my twins to see her all the way from Australia to South Africa to see her and to spend time with her and to meet my twins for the first time in real life. It was a longggg flight and so emotional not knowing what she would look like cause her eyes turned yellow and she lost so much weight so we prepared ourselves. This was the hardest 4 weeks of my life and special at the same time as the twins turned two and she got to celebrate with us and we got many photos of her with them and us. After that she went backwards quickly. I can’t talk about my grandmother to anyone without bawling my eyes out. One year later still feels like yesterday. I miss her so much my heart is still so hurt. When we got back home it still didn’t feel real as it felt like she is still in her home making tea or go visit her sisters. Till today I want to give her a quick call but then reality sinks in ;( I love my mom and grandmother the same way they are both so special to me I also can’t talk to my mom about how I miss my gran because I know she misses her too and we will cry and I don’t want to upset my mom. Mom will call me telling me she misses her and I try to be strong and say something positive but it makes me so sad. As I am typing this I am bawling my eyes out. We want to do something special for her heaven day but we can’t do half of this list as we are in another country and I don’t want to watch her videos or look at photos cause I will cry that feels like for hours. I don’t even know what her fav food was ;( I have so much guilt as I was so busy with my life that I wish I asked her what her fav meal was. I know she loved her classic music and opera which I come to love even more everyday. I feel so much better commenting on this as I can’t to to someone else I am so sensitive to talking about my dear nan. I hope I can figure out what we can do to celebrate her special day…

graceh marine   December 1, 2018 at 12:43 am Reply

When I was in phils I always do something for my mom’s birthday I buy her sea foods or cake,she like chocolate cake and ice cream even my mom is not present her memories always there for me,that’s how I honor my mom and show here I celebrate her every coz we do things together when she alive it makes me happy when she smile it reminds me to her kindneaa,gentle,calmness what would I do,I always thankful for her each and her memories leave with me,when I miss her I let it out my feeling being sad I do things that I don’t feel sad I do things like her when I cook it reminds me how gentle she is and always caring person…I would buy snacks that she hide for me and sister lol,when mom have a stick on her hands because she said if we won’t she gonna spank us but my mom couldn’t do it because we were acting silly and we we’re running around the tree and my mom got tired and laugh with us because she couldn’t catch us lol,my son and I celebrate my mom’s birthday we send balloon on the air and I bring to the class cup cake to celebrate mom’s birthday,Everytime I cook food it reminds I tell her let’s eat mom lol and smile??? I have awesome memories with mom love you mom…. Thank you this site

Robin   November 2, 2018 at 10:08 pm Reply

So I did a quick search of “tomorrow is the anniversary of my father’s death and I don’t know what to do”. It will be four years tomorrow. That was after a three -year battle with lung cancer. I miss my Dad. He was 83. It was me, my mom and dad and my brother. There were and still are issues with my brother and soon after my Dad died the relationship between me and my mother fractured. It’s not that the anniversary sneaks up on me. Like you the crisp air and changing colors of the trees along with the Jewish holidays get the ball rolling for me. This past week has been particularly difficult. The assault on the Tree of Life Synagogue in Pittsburgh was not only painful because it is my hometown, the temple was my father’s and although I do not practice, I remember being there as a child. That coupled with the phone call the day after that my aunt (my Dad’s sister) was failing in the nursing home just blocks away from the tragedy rocked me. I spent time with her the day after that and got the call on Halloween morning that she had passed. She will be buried the day after my father’s anniversary. I didn’t think so much of how I would spend the day. And all of a sudden I had an anxiety attack. And then I realized that the past three anniversaries I had spent at work. I would do my job, but i am lucky that I have the kind of job that I could post on Facebook and cry in my office. Come home, light a candle, have a glass of wine and sing his favorite karaoke songs. But tomorrow is different. There is a long , long day that I have to get through before I can light his candle at dusk, sing at the top of my lungs and drink a couple glasses of wine without sounding like a crazy person in my city neighborhood 🙂 Well..I guess I will prepare for the funeral on Sunday. Nails. I’m overdue for a salon dye job just as I was 4 years ago…so drag there….I’ve gained weight, so I need to buy something to wear. I will make my donations in my Aunt and Dad’s names to the Tree of Life. I will take a moment to be grateful. If only for the fact that they weren’t here to see what happened in their childhood neighborhood. Thank you so much just for the opportunity to post something and get the feelings out. So exhausted and hoping I sleep. But, I am sure I will be reading your posts tomorrow. There is still the hell of all of the holidays…….. Peace and light to you and all of your readers.

Wendy Blanchard   October 19, 2018 at 11:15 am Reply

Thank you for this. Your website has been incredibly helpful. I like the no nonsense way the articles are written. We lost our Aysha girl 5 years ago today to suicide at the age of 17. This anniversary is particularly hard. It seems unfathomable that she has been gone that long and I wonder how we have been able to go on. The answer is we don’t have a choice. But we are forever different and this has become a part of who we are, just as she was.

Kym Nash   October 17, 2018 at 12:11 am Reply

THANKS FOR THE LIST My Nan died of a smoking illness nearly 10 years ago and i’m happy with myself for coping the past 10 long hard years,she died when i was 7 and theres 2 days in the year when i feel sad and upset about her and that’s my birthday and her death date ( April 11th),i also kick my myself due to i was having a dinner at my dad’s parents at the time of my nan’s death and none of my family like mum & grandfather (nan’s husband) told me about it until 2 days after the death for 3 years i blamed my mum for her death and then for 7 years i’ve blamed myself as i never got to say goodbye,everytime i look at the pictures of her and me in my grandfathers house,it makes me swell up in tears and i have flashbacks to the funeral,my mum’s Dad nearly a year ago died and i wasn’t affected when he died until i saw the flowers outside his house where i burst into tears in the middle of the street after looking at the flowers for 10 minutes and then i started whacking myself in the head to try and keep it together and it made my mum upset but then i kept her together during the funeral,me & death/grief are a bad mix especially as i have anger issues & autism,when i feel sad about my nan’s death i listen to a song called MY LOVE MY LIFE BY LILLY JAMES,MERYL STREEP & AMANDA SEYFRIED FROM MAMMA MIA 2 AS IT HELPS ME COPE

Caroline   October 9, 2018 at 10:47 pm Reply

One year ago, my brother was finally reaching a positive overcoming point in his depression battle. He was on new medicine, and actually went for a walk at the track because he was feeling so good. Exactly one year ago, I was so optimistic of the future and living in this bubble of never having suffered an unexpected death of an immediate family member. On October 10, 2017 between 730-745am I received a phone call that changed my very existence forever. I looked down at my phone at the red light on my way to work, to see my mom calling. I answered. “He’s dead. Andrew is dead.” Words that replay in my memory like the worst broken record I’ve ever heard. How could this be? Are you serious? How could my 33 year old brother really be dead ? He struggled with depression and substance abuse for years, but how NOW when he finally was getting help could this happen? I am broken. I thought I would die when I got that call. I did not see any way to live without my brother. Yet, here we are a year later, and somehow I am still living & breathing & working & being a mom & soccer coach, and my life is still rolling forward despite what I thought. I still google looking for encouragement regularly, but the pain now really is more bearable than what I felt a year ago. I guess what I’m trying to say, is just keep on keeping on and do the best you can do everyday in spite of your grief and pain. I am learning it really is a process and with time the stabbing knife eases its grasp. No I will never talk to my brother again, but just look how he has manipulated a storm into giving me a day off tomorrow for his death anniversary. I know his spirit is with me, and somehow life with continue forward.

Renee   September 26, 2018 at 12:01 am Reply

My mother was in a fatal car accident when I was 8, (October 1st 1997) I am now 29 and my “anniversary death date” reaction has changed significantly. I used to drink in my early 20’s – people always assumed it was my way if forgetting. It wasn’t. It was alcohol made me forget the social allowances and allowed me to remember. People want you to move on and “remember the good time” but that isn’t always the case. When you’re young and lose a parent forgetting is inevitable . Things become hazy and you can’t remember the details. Well, for me, alcohol brought to surface some of the memories I had forgotten. Talking with a buzz was much easier to open the hatch. It made me remember…. but after going through years of that unhealthy solution, I don’t any more. The people around me know know about my mother and how I feel. Now, I take these unfortunate days and make the best. I call my grandma, i speak to people who feel the same loss and like about how I fiddle with my shirt in uncomfortable situations just like my mom did. I make her favorite dish, I look through her purse with old grocery receipts, pictures, and chapstick in it. That’s what makes me happy. Being reminded how human she was and how much she loved siblings and I. It’s hard and it’s a long road. It took me over 15 years to realize what I was doing was only toxic for myself. We are all just pawns in the universe and we should be thankful that we had our parents for as long as we did. They helped mold us into who we are. I hope each and every child from parent-loss can come to the same to conclusion, I just hope it doesn’t take you as long as me.

Roxana   September 24, 2018 at 4:09 am Reply

Thank you for sharing this post! Today is the first anniversary since my mom past away. I looked at old pictures, listened to a voice memo (recorded a week before she passed) and ended everything by writing her a letter, updating her of everything that happened in the last year, from her funeral to today. It is hard for me to express my feelings, but writing the letter allowed me to organize my thoughts and gave a clear passage to my grief and sadness. Reading everybody else’s comments, it gave me hope, strength and I allowed myself to grief. To cry and miss her. I was scared of looking at old pictures and the pictures I took the day she passed, to be depressed again. After I did my new ritual, I felt closer to her. Everybody here is so inspiring and gives me hope and peace knowing I’m not alone in this process. I miss her so much, being an only child too. I will probably bake her favourite cake for her birthday. Thank you all!

Rick   August 3, 2018 at 8:46 am Reply

My wife lost her mom 1 year ago today. My wife is an only child & her mom was a single parent since my wife was 5. They were more like sisters, or best friends than mother & child. She feels totally alone in that there is no one who had that same type of relationship with her mom & so no one can understand her pain. Today our plan is to park a weekend get away bag, and just go. Go any place or direction but towards the grave site. I found this site while looking for a different designation than ‘anniversary of her death’. Has anyone come up with a more pleasant phrase. “Deathday” sounds like a bad horror movie & Deathiversary, just don’t work for me either… no unkindness meant to those who use it. I’m just another person lost in this journey to love my best friend & better half, who is struggling not feel totally alone.

Kristi   November 5, 2018 at 8:55 pm Reply

I’ve heard other folks refer to their loved one’s anniversary day as their “Heaven Day”. We’re approaching the 1 year anniversary of my Dad’s death. Somehow these words bring comfort. Another thought is to have my family pick out special fake flowers, one for each. And then to use sharpies and write a message to my Dad on the underside of each flower petal. Then place it on his gravestone. You can buy a sealer spray in any craft store to preserve the same. This idea could be done on any special day like a b-day etc.

Shawn   July 7, 2018 at 5:57 pm Reply

My mom passed away this time last year in July. Her and my Dad both died violently. I’m trying to cope with this. This is crazy I’m an only child. Well at least they’re together in heaven. God bless all of you.

Cathlyn   May 3, 2018 at 6:23 pm Reply

It is very interested to see a few different posts of parents whose child has died on May 3. My Caleb died May 3 2015. He was three years old. Today has not been as bad as the last two weeks. I think the anticipation hurts more than the actually day. Maybe seeing May 3 is a confirmation that everything is ok.

Nancy   May 1, 2018 at 9:53 pm Reply

This is some wonderful ideas. I lost my mom Jan 3, 2018. She had end stage copd. She was an absolutely wonderful, kind person who would help anyone. She worked so hard to raise 6 kids, run a home , work full time and deal with my dad and take care of my ill gma who lived with us for 10 yrs. I’m a hospice nurse. And losing my own mother has committed me even more to help those in need. I can speak from personal experience on losing a close loved one. She had her last exacerbation of copd in July 2017. And ended up on a ventilator. She made this choice. I asked her mom what do you want done? And she wanted them to save her. Her first and only great grandchild was expected in 2 weeks. My grandson. She wanted to see him and have more time with us. I knew as a hospice nurse her days were numbered. But as her daughter I didn’t want to fully believe it. I wanted to believe she had more time and maybe just maybe couple more yrs. Christmas was amazing and we had to have it at the nursing home where she was staying while my siblings who lived with her were being trained on taking care of her. I live 3 hrs away. They were almost ready to send her home when she passed. It was a matter of maybe couple weeks? I think she went so that my siblings wouldn’t have to deal with her dying on them. The guilt they would of felt would of been horrible and she couldn’t live with that. She just stopped breathing one morning before my brother got there. The pain I feel is indescribable. The loss unimaginable. It was helpful to read others stories here about their loss of their wonderful loved ones too. This to shall pass. Yes in some ways, It will. But the loss we feel never will pass. We will just learn to live with it and move forward in our lives. They will always be with us and they will continue to live thru us thru our love and our memories. My children and I are going to make a scrap book called memories of maw. And share pics and diff stories of good times with her. I feel this is therapeutic for all of us. And a way to not forget precious stories and memories about her. May god bless you all

This is some wonderful ideas. I lost my mom Jan 3, 2018. She had end stage copd. She was an absolutely wonderful, kind person who would help anyone. She worked so hard to raise 6 kids, run a home , work full time and deal with my dad and take care of my ill gma who lived with us for 10+ yrs. I’m a hospice nurse. And losing my own mother has committed me even more to help those in need. I can speak from personal experience on losing a close loved one. She had her last exacerbation of copd in July 2017. And ended up on a ventilator. She made this choice. I asked her mom what do you want done? And she wanted them to save her. Her first and only great grandchild was expected in 2 weeks. My grandson. She wanted to see him and have more time with us. I knew as a hospice nurse her days were numbered. But as her daughter I didn’t want to fully believe it. I wanted to believe she had more time and maybe just maybe couple more yrs. Christmas was amazing and we had to have it at the nursing home where she was staying while my siblings who lived with her were being trained on taking care of her. I live 3 hrs away. They were almost ready to send her home when she passed. It was a matter of maybe couple weeks? I think she went so that my siblings wouldn’t have to deal with her dying on them. The guilt they would of felt would of been horrible and she couldn’t live with that. She just stopped breathing one morning before my brother got there. The pain I feel is indescribable. The loss unimaginable. It was helpful to read others stories here about their loss of their wonderful loved ones too. This to shall pass. Yes in some ways, It will. But the loss we feel never will pass. We will just learn to live with it and move forward in our lives. They will always be with us and they will continue to live thru us thru our love and our memories. My children and I are going to make a scrap book called memories of maw. And share pics and diff stories of good times with her. I feel this is therapeutic for all of us. And a way to not forget precious stories and memories about her. May god bless you all

Queen   May 1, 2018 at 11:35 am Reply

My siblings and I will be celebrating out mother’s 10 year homegoing anniversary. We were/are very close to our beloved angel Princess & each other. She didn’t speak of many regrets, but not taking a formal family picture was one of them. I/we are looking forward to honoring her desire this June, as it will be the first time in 10 years that we will all be together. I know it will be extremely emotional, but I also feel great sense of solace knowing that there are only 5 other people who know exactly the depth of love we have for a woman we are honored to call “mother.” We are also having a celebration of life, and a re-commitment to family ceremony. We will share special memories, her favorite sayings, food, and love on each other. She is missed beyond measure but lives on through each of my siblings, our children and myself. Our loss was devastating but boy am I thankful to continue learning from her many lessons. I cherish her with every fiber of my being. God speed each and everyone in this club I wish we did not have to be apart of.

Peter Thom   April 5, 2018 at 11:51 am Reply

Great article 🙂 One service that we found very helpful was Celestial Rise, they send cremated ashes to the edge of Space – which sounds all out there and fancy, but it wasn’t really about that. We had the ashes of my father for a while, with no great ideas what to do with them. As Dad’s anniversary came round a friend recommended Celestial Rise, saying you can make your own day and own way to say goodbye. Basically we were able to invite our family and friends, plus some of Dad’s old friends to a brilliant get together, where we told stories about Dad, lit candles and then let Dad go – watching him float up to the stars in this giant balloon. It was amazing and such a nice way to let him go, to do something nice with the ashes – and has helped me and the family move on a little. Worth a look to see if it’s for you – http://www.celestialrise.com

Erika   March 22, 2018 at 10:10 pm Reply

It’ll be 5 years May 3rd since my first born, my t year old son passed away of wilms tumor. A childhood kidney cancer. Not a day goes by that I dont struggle to hide my pain for my other 2 kids. Especially my daughter. Shes 6. She just lost her father October 11th…3 days after my sons 10th birthday. We have kept each other strong through many hard days. She’s my strength and I try my hardest to be hers. Life will never be the same without him here with us. We find some peace knowing he has his dad with him now. But the pain for us is still so fresh. I am not sure what to do for his anniversary. In a way I want to be alone amd just cry all day. But I know thats not what he would want. Another part of me wants to find a way to raise $ to give to the hospital that cared for him for the year he fought his battle. I have about 5 weeks to figure it out. ? Praying I find the strength to get through that day.

Chris   February 8, 2018 at 2:27 pm Reply

16 Years ago today my father passed. In 8 months, Oct 7th, will be the day my mother passed 16 years ago as well. They both past of 2 different cancers 16 years ago, 8 months apart. How time doesn’t stop….. Usually July 1st is the hardest day of the year, their anniversary. As I look back on 16 without my parents I wonder to myself how I ever made it! (I can see my mother laughing at me now, she had an incredible sense of humor.) Many people do not understand when I say, “My parents taught me more in their deaths than in life.” When growing up, my parents taught me so much from manners to working hard to being good to family. Losing both mom and dad in 8 months, you can imagine what the first 2 years were like. But something happened, I started seeing my parents differently. As I never am in short supply of witty comeback’s or sarcastic remarks, (like my mother), something would fly out of my mouth and I would think to myself, “mom would have liked that.” And sadness didn’t take over me……. A smile would come to my face. That’s when I embraced all they taught me. Working harder, raising my son with my parents on my mind more, enjoying the thought that my father was fishing on God’s pond and my mom reading the Heaven’s version of Readers Digest. Don’t get me wrong, it never goes “away”….. Some days you deal with it better than others. My mom would always say, “this too shall pass.” Well, it doesn’t ever pass, but sometimes I want the thought of them around without the sadness. I am grateful for all they taught me and grateful for keeping them close when it was the hardest to enough them this close without the sadness. There’s a wisdom I have come to know, though it could be said I paid a dear price for such wisdom, my parents. However, at 50 the wisdom I have come to embrace is the closeness with them after the initial grieving process. Allow yourself to grief Allow yourself to cry Allow yourself to let your lost loved ones live through you Allow yourself closeness with them again…. with smiles

Auto injury treatment   January 11, 2018 at 6:48 am Reply

Really original article,keep up the good writing.

Mona   January 8, 2018 at 11:48 pm Reply

These posts have really helped me. I lost my mom February 20, 2017. I can’t believe that it has almost been a year. Her birthday is this week and I don’t know what to do for her. I want to honor her, but I also want to pretend like she is still here. The pain of not having her is so much more painful then I could ever imagine. I am not alone. She has touched alot of people and I don’t want to make this any harder for anyone. I have never wanted to go back in time until now. I feel like an orphan even though I am a grown woman. I just want my mommy. When I think of all the difficult times my mom had before she passed away, I get so sad and frustrated. She deserved a fun and full life. I pray she is in heaven as happy as can be. I love and miss her more then I could ever express. I hope everyone that has lost someone, feels thier love and presence.

Dawn   February 18, 2018 at 7:28 pm Reply

I was just reading through posts and saw yours. I lost my mom February 23, 2017, just 3 days after you lost yours. That day is coming soon and my heart is still aching. I miss my mom so much and don’t know how I make it through each day, but I did because it’s been almost a year… and has not been the same since that day last year. Peace to you this wee…..

Brian Cudnik   February 21, 2018 at 9:35 pm

I was looking through Mona and your comments and it caught my attention…Mona’s mom passed February 20, 2017, yours passed February 23, 2017; my beloved mom died one year ago today, February 21, 2017. And us guys can be just as devastated by the loss, we just do not tend to talk about it/express it as openly as the ladies. But I cried more in the past year than any other year since childhood. The pain is still real but I am managing a bit better one day at a time. Now my mother in law is in hospice care and it is bringing back the memories of events around my mom’s passing, but the big difference is that my mom’s was sudden and semi-unexpected. Today went surprisingly well, I took off from work to spend the day reflecting and all, and it was good. Interesting also that Billy Graham should pass on the one year anniversary of my Mom’s passing.

Jennifer   November 29, 2017 at 11:32 pm Reply

Hello guys,

I lost my mom from congestive heart failure, we didn’t know anything about it until she had a heart attack. She passed away at age 61, (I’m 35). Numb, in denial I guess you can say. She passed away December 21st, 2016. I have a bunch of “should of” things I need to deal with. My mother and me were like sisters, we would talk to each other almost every day. She was my best friend. I am now very lost, I’m trying to “ignore” the fact she is passed because I have to keep strong for my 2 kids. My daughter is having a really hard time about it. She was super close to her also. She said, “I feel like I lost my other mother.” it took my breath away to hear a 10 year old say that. Honestly I don’t really know why I am telling my story. She hated winter and she died the first day of winter. Her grandmother(nanny) died December 21 also (years back). it’s so weird to see someone you are so close to just disappear out of your life in physical form. I have her ashes on my mantel, I also have a necklace (don’t wear much, because it is so big and heavy). But now, My 10 year old daughter has asked me for a necklace with grand maw’s ashes in it. I don’t know if I should do it or not…. would it be creepy? They were super, super close and I know she wants something to have of hers. All of grandmas clothes are gone. I can’t give her much of anything, I don’t have much to give. I just know this first year has sucked. Her Birthday was November 18th… I slept almost the whole day to keep from thinking about it or crying. Because of that experience December 21st is going to be super hard. To make things worse, we had her memorial the day after Christmas….so December and Christmas is a downer for me. My main worry is helping my daughter through this. I don’t know what to do about her. I wish I could make my daughter whole again. I know I can’t, a really big part of her is gone, so how do I help her cope with it? She wants something tangible for her to touch and feel that helps her be near grand ma. What do y’all think… suggestions would be greatly appreciated, also should I get her a small heart necklace to put a tiny bit of grand ma in there so my daughter will feel close to her?

Annie   December 1, 2017 at 7:04 am Reply

It is not creepy at all to give your daughter a necklace with some of your mother’s ashes. Honestly, it is probably something she will cherish for the rest of her life. My mother died unexpectedly as well at 56 on Dec 2, 2016, and I was 31. I used to sleep with the angel statue I have with her ashes in it. I have learned not to fight the grief. Your body needs to get it out. This doesn’t mean I plan on wasting the whole day being sad, but rather I can be sad and still go on with my day- as she would want me to. On her birthday I made her favorite meal. I’m not sure how I will be honoring her tomorrow, but I know I will not be fighting my feelings of sadness. Take care Jennifer!

Jasmine   December 14, 2017 at 4:44 pm Reply

Hi Jennifer, My father, at the young age of 49 passed away last year on December 20th, 2016. I was 17 at the time, now 18, and still have a hard time dealing with the loss of such an influential man in my life. My mother is now left with my 3 siblings and I, to struggle through the bad days and cherish the happy ones. I don’t think giving your daughter the necklace would resemble anything ‘creepy’. She asked for it with the obvious intent of having a piece of her grandmother with her. Having a younger brother around her age, my family and I did everything we could to ensure he felt loved, specifically choosing to give him my fathers university graduation ring. Best of luck finding strength this month.

Emily   January 21, 2018 at 11:18 am Reply

We had jewelry made with the ashes of my children’s dad. They are very special pieces. My 16yo wears her necklace nearly everyday.

Beth Bishop   November 15, 2017 at 2:24 am Reply

Fantastic Post! I totally agree and have given the same advice to many of my friends who have asked the same question. Drawing on the right side of the brain is great. My mom read it when I was young and a budding artist to help guide me. Thanks for your terrific information.

Meg   November 6, 2017 at 9:48 pm Reply

In two days, November 8th will mark one year since my mom died of colon cancer at only 58 years old. She was fighting for 18 months and I took care of her while she was in hospice at my aunts home . It’s been really hard the past couple weeks waiting for the anniversary and reliving the last few weeks of her life in my head. Although I know she is no longer in pain, I can’t help but want her here with me. It was always her and me growing up and I still need her guidance, I have more growing up to do. Although I have extended family here for me now and I’m very grateful they are there, my home is gone. My person to turn to gone. I just miss her so much. I appreciate the ideas of what I can do to honor her. All I can hope for is to feel her with me more.

Beth Bishop   October 2, 2017 at 7:29 am Reply

hi! great idea but im a bit confused so after you finish tieing the first 3 knots and you close the opening in-between them, do you go and tie the next 3 and repeat the process or do you continue as if you were closing the holes in between? and also how do you finish it off Thanks x

been thru it a few times   September 8, 2017 at 11:37 am Reply

I was widowed at age 34, left with two young kids. Have lost parents and only sibling since then. Have lost many friends and coworkers. RATHER than weep and ‘celebrate’ the anniversary of DEATH and relive that familiar pain, for me, it was most helpful to get a grip on ‘death being a part of Life’ and focus on what’s here on earth which is ALIVE speto love and enjoy. Living is what we HAVE. We have God-given gifts to share with others…time spent in pity past a couple of years is time for professional grief counseling. No one enjoys being depressed. Granted, a tragic death is one harder to deal with than expected (elderly parent) but a loss is a loss. THINKING OF OTHERS’ needs is far more rewarding and productive! I know my first loved one’s advice would be ‘Hey, have a good life and enjoy!’ and he would not be ‘honored’ by yearly death anniversary parties. just sayin’ that was him.

Nickoi Scott   August 17, 2017 at 10:40 pm Reply

My boyfriend of 5 years died on June 24, 2017 which also happened to be his birthday in a car crash. He was 25years old. We live in Jamaica which isn’t a large country. However we live on opposite sides of the country because of work. That Saturday morning I didn’t get a text from him a Ying how much he loved me and I didn’t send one because I was in a hurry for work. At about 9am the security officer called me and when I went outside there was Omar with a single white rose in his hands and a big grin on his face. They drove 3 hours to come see me. On their way back home his friend crashed. I was so excited to see him that I forgot to remind him as usual to wear his seat belt. October 15th would’ve been our anniversary. I still cry everyday. Still unable to cope. There was no one on the earth like him. We had plans to get married and start a family. All I can do that help me cope is looking back at photos and reminiscing on our memories. And watching videos we made. I miss him dearly. He was my best friend, comforter, doctor, my everything.

Kim Jelley   October 1, 2017 at 9:23 am Reply

I have a similar story to yours in that the love of life of ten years passed away suddenly on April 3, 2016. I know the pain your feeling and continue to feel the effects of grief everyday… some things that have helped me are reading books about grief, seeing a therapist who specializes in grief work, placing photos in my house of him(I even carry a photo of him in my pocket book everywhere I go) . For me seeing his picture comforts me and helps me to feel like I’m not so alone. Even though there are days where It hurts to look at his beautiful face in that frame. Grief is a nightmare but it is something we can survive. Honoring your boyfriend and allowing your self to feel the pain and devastation is the best advice I can give you. The pain will never go away but it will soften and at times it will return with full affect. We are survivors, and it’s important to focus on one day at a time, not overwhelm ourselves with the weeks, months and years to come without our loved one. I hope this post has helped you and hope it gives you the courage to hold on as you walk through your grief journey. Reach out if you need to.

Amy   July 29, 2017 at 7:21 am Reply

I lost my Grandma on 11th September in 2016 by cancer when they found the cancer it was to late to treat her it was already spreading to the rest of her body and making her very ill. As it came to the last stages it was so hard to look after her my grandma wasn’t the same grandma the has raised me the last 8 years. now this September on the 11th is the one year anniversary of her death. Life is not the same without her here by my side and supporting me on every decision i make. Its like there a massive hole in my heart and my heart is broken for ever and ever and is never going to be the same without my Nan by my side to comfort me when i’m down or need someone to talk to. my nan may be gone but she will be NEVER forgotten always her by my side and in my heart for EVER and EVER.

Kim   August 12, 2017 at 10:34 am Reply

Thank you for your suggestions. Tomorrow will be six years since losing my husband. What a journey! I have also lost my mom, dad, and brother. I think by doing something to honor him also helps me forgive myself. The guilt of the should ofs and could ofs seem to wash away, at least for that moment. Now just have to decide what to do this year.

Lisa Capone   June 6, 2017 at 2:19 pm Reply

Tomorrow, June 7, 2017, is the one year anniversary of my father’s passing from Alzheimer’s. Today was the day that my mother got the phone call from the nursing home saying that my father had stopped breathing when they were bathing him and they had to call an ambulance to take him to the hospital. Later that day at the hospital, we had to make the agonizing decision as a family to withhold medications and just keep him comfortable with palliative care until he passed. They weren’t sure how long it would take for him to pass. The next morning, at 10:10 a.m., I got the phone call from the hospital saying my dad had passed. My mother has had a very rough year without him and as a result has lost a lot of weight and went into a depression. I’ve noticed recently that she has turned a corner and gotten a little better. I was thinking of maybe planting something in their backyard that will come back every year. My father loved gardening and had quite the green thumb, but I’m not really looking forward to tomorrow.

Lynda   May 3, 2017 at 3:52 pm Reply

Thanks for this post. Your suggestions were awesome. Tomorrow, May 4th, will be the one year “angel-versary” of my husband’s sudden death from a heart attack. We’ve decided to do random acts of service throughout the day to remember him. He loved serving others in small ways. We figured that would be the best way to remember him.

Tonya Brown   May 3, 2017 at 3:21 pm Reply

I’m on my way right now to Virginia to have a 21 gun solute for my dads funeral on Friday morning. I lost my father in law two days after thanksgiving 2016 my daughter had our first grandson on April 8th and my dad died the day before his sons 37th birthday. I am so numb…. I HATE THIS FEELING. I WANT HIM BACK.

Theo.   February 13, 2017 at 10:08 am Reply

10th February marks two years of my sweet wonderful wife,there’s not a single day I didn’t remember her since she died,she died from a swollen neck after only one week she got that swollen neck,and it just killing my soul. my life is a struggle without her,writing this makes me cry now,and I’m gonna celebrate her death to the fullest. . thanks for your blog ,it’s helpful.

Rhonda Westfall   February 9, 2017 at 9:15 am Reply

Life keeps going on and I thought after my only child died in sleep,that it should all stop. I can feel your pain, after I read the bottom of your page. Your faith in God and his son Jesus is very important. They will help with you’re pain. If your brother was suppose to be here, God would see to that. Living your life with a broken heart is something that only you know the pain. But God knows. And if you ask him in Jesus name,he can help you carry on and when time on earth is over, you get to see him again. Keep the faith.

Rhonda Westfall   February 4, 2017 at 3:41 pm Reply

There is a ” Go fund me ” online that you can do pictures and tell your story. Ask some of your dearest friends to help you in doing a yard sale in your son’s name. They may have others that might want to give them things to sell also. If you would like to contact me, please do so. I lost my only child. He was 20. It has been 3 years ago. I know that pain.

ANGIE   February 4, 2017 at 4:11 am Reply

MY 19 YEAR OLD SON DIED IN A FATAL MOTORCYCLE ACCIDENT ON MARCH 1, 2016. NEXT MONTH WILL BE THE FIRST YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF MY SON MARTINS PASSING. I CAME ACROSS THIS WEBSITE I READ SOME OF YOUR IDEAS BUT WAS WONDERING IF YOU OR ANYONE WHO READS MY POST CAN GIVE ME IDEAS ON WHAT KIND OF FUNDRAISERS I CAN HAVE TO RAISE MONEY TO PAY FOR MY SONS MARKER. I HAD JUST GOT HIRED AND STARTED WORKING FOR A RETAIL STORE IN FEBRUARY 2016 THEN A FEW WEEKS AFTER MY SON PASSED AWAY AND I HAVE’NT BEEN ABLE TO RETURN TO WORK. THANK YOU

Ginger Lane   April 28, 2017 at 3:16 am Reply

Here’s what I would do. Over the years when I’ve had a need that I couldn’t afford, I would trade. You could possibly trade working for them part time, making them something crafty for their business or just ask them if you can pay a small amount and get it when it’s paid.

Claudia   May 7, 2017 at 12:08 am Reply

My brother passed away in a motorcycle accident too. His 1 year anniversary is in June. You should set up a go fund me account to try and get donations to help you out.

Chrissy   December 9, 2016 at 10:20 pm Reply

On Monday it will be one month that my mother became an angel. She left us after a three and a half year battle with pancreatic cancer. My mother was such a fighter. I find that my days are getting harder instead of easier. My family and I have tried to do the things she would normally do (Thankgiving). It has been difficult. Her favorite holiday was Christmas so I set up a little tree. Her one month is Monday and I am planning on letting balloons go. Thank you so much for this blog.

Jamila   October 8, 2016 at 4:33 pm Reply

December 20th 2016 will be the first anniversary of my mum’s death. Her bday will be on nov 2nd. I miss her so much and feel like i can’t go on. I dread the days ahead. I really don’t know how to prepare for this. This blog has helped me a lot tho. I thank you all for your contibutions

Vicki McClifty   October 8, 2016 at 2:48 am Reply

It was 4 years this September since I lost our 23 year old son very suddenly. Finally i felt like celebrating his life on his anniversary with my husband and our 4 children. We planned ahead – I made all his favourite dishes, we watched old home videos, we shared funny stories and made a toast to our son between us. I set up the table and chairs to include him in the celebrations and it really felt like he was there with us ? The day was beautiful however the grief hit me strongly a day after between his anniversary and his birthday 3 weeks later. Seems you can’t avoid those deep despairing feelings of loss. This year I accepted them as just how things will be always knowing September will always be so very emotional for me. That’s ok with me now ? I’m just starting to pick myself up again the last couple of days. That is definitely an improvement on 2015 where the last 6 months of the year were terrible and the two years prior when every day was so very painful. Now I’m ok and I’m getting ready for Christmas- the never ending grief roller coaster ?? if we can survive the loss of a child we can survive anything…. I certainly now know where my priorities lie and now I’m so passionate about helping others who have travelled a similar path. Carrying through my son’s mission (his tattoo read:) pursuit of happiness with diligence which he proudly displayed on his body. Now I’m making his life purpose count. ??

Dianne   July 31, 2017 at 9:30 am Reply

Vicki, thanks for sharing this. My son was murdered during a burglary of his home while he slept in bed. He was 27 yrs old and his birthday was 3 weeks later as well. It will be 10 months on 8/1/17. I am having a really rough week this week as it is now one year since I last saw him, saw his smile and got to hug him while he was alive. I know people talk about the year of ” firsts” and I am past most of them but fail to see that the “seconds , thirds and forever mores” will be much easier. Hope they are right. Thanks for listening

Casey   August 15, 2019 at 12:28 pm

Diane, my sincerest condolences on the loss of your son in such a horrific way. I myself lost my daughter 8/22/18 and she was also murdered in her bed. She was kidnapped, tied up, raped, and strangled. We just recently finished with the trial for the man who did this to her and thankfully he is going to prison for life without the possibility of parole but it does not change the wake of hurt and pain left behind by such an evil act.

I hope that you were able to find who did this to your son as well.

I was on here though just looking for ideas to hold a traditional memorial service for my daughter as the anniversary of her death is fast approaching.

Thanks, and Bleassings

Jo   August 31, 2016 at 3:47 am Reply

My name is Jo, and I lost my twin sister 14 years ago. Even though life moves on and so many thanks have changed, I have always struggled with the anniversary of her death. The date looms from about the month before and I usually end up in a flood of tears at some point. After 14 years, I realised I HAD to do something about it. Counselling didn’t work for me. I spoke to my local doctor who suggested trying Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. I wanted to try that but something that was specific to grief. I found a great book CBT when dealing with grief and it really helped me. Im not saying that it will help everyone, but I have always struggled around the anniversary of her death and our birthday which I celebrate without her now. The book helps you to deal with those really painful memories and strong thoughts that are associated with your loved one’s passing. Hope this helps.

Litsa   September 4, 2016 at 12:27 pm Reply

Thanks so much for sharing your experience with CBT. It can definitely be very helpful when it comes to overwhelming and consuming thoughts that are making it hard to function or have a bond with your loved one.

Kira Mahoney   April 29, 2017 at 1:30 pm Reply

I lost my twin 7 years ago and I’m still having a really hard time with the loss. Can you give me the name is that book ?

Jo   May 2, 2017 at 4:03 am

Hi Kira, thanks for your message. So sorry to hear about your twin. The anniversary is always hard and now you’re 7 years in, you know it does get easier, but the pain is still there. Its 15 years this month for me, and I’ve been a lot better than I used to be. On the anniversary day (15th May), I will still fall into a black hole of grief again reliving the day she past away in my head. The book I used is stored away now in boxes as I am decorating at home, but I will dig it out for you and let you know the details. take care Jo.

Jo   May 4, 2017 at 4:05 am

Kira, The book is called “Overcoming Grief – A self-help guide using Cognitive Behavioural Techniques” by Sue Morris. It might not be what you need – but give it a go. It did help me. Jo.

Vicki Bee   August 30, 2016 at 1:29 pm Reply

This is what I’ll be doing this year too. I’ve only been able to attend one Reading of the Names. It’s so painful listening to them read 2,996 names that I’ve only been able to do it once. I think it’s rude if I go and only listen to the name of my loved one and then leave. I can’t do that, I have to stay the whole 3 hours.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXnCVpWg3DQ

I wish I could go to sleep on September 10 and wake up September 12. Barring that possibility, I listen to the names reading.

Ebony   August 3, 2016 at 1:07 am Reply

I am so sorry to hear of your mother’s passing… I love that you have turned your grief into something positive and generous, for others – and are helping them through their own grief… 🙂 I lost my twin brother to suicide, 9 months ago. It is our 24th birthday coming up on the 31st of august. Although it is not the anniversary of his death – but our birth, I can’t possibly bear to imagine how to get through this day coming up. I am more or less, dreading this day. Every year we have always celebrated together, so I have no idea how I am supposed to celebrate this day – when all I feel is such a terrible, deep sadness and loss of his presence. I have never felt so much pain, lonliness and a loss for words at how to speak of this amazing human. If you have any ideas or tips of what to do on this day coming up – I will welcome them warmly. Reading this post helped me realise I am not alone… But I still feel completely lost at what to do, to prepare for this day.

Karen   July 27, 2016 at 6:40 pm Reply

Well, this is the hardest pain that I have ever felt. My mom pasted on June 29 of 2016- her services was July 8th, 90 days before my wedding. Words can not describe the pain. The motherless club was one that I knew that I would join some day but not this soon and not before my wedding. I had kept my mom clueless about the wedding because I wanted to surprise her and see her face when she saw the venue and decorations. She did have a chance to see my dress and she really liked it. She was so happy for me and I was secretly going to do something special at the wedding- now I can barely think straight. My fiancé is trying his best to be there and do the rest of the planning, We were suppose to send out our wedding invitations the day of my mother service. My sister was planning my bridal shower, all of this seems so pointless and trivial. The pain is beyond compare. I have a voice mail from my mom that I listen to. I must admit that I am angry at God for taking my mom. I always called her my ” my first love”. I feel like the world does not have the same color and that food taste different,. I still wake up thinking ” wow did that really happen”.

Missing my first love

Agnes   July 27, 2016 at 8:07 pm Reply

Karen I lost my Mother on May 31, 2015. I know what your going through, email me I would love to have a grief buddy. [email protected]

Saddy   July 22, 2016 at 9:58 am Reply

I need help here i don’t know what to do last year I was pregnant at my 20 weeks of pregnancy my son was born so he’s birthday will be on July 30th but since he was to early he died right after one hour so I have no idea what to do I want to do something for him. He’s my baby angel please any ideas will help thank you

Winnie   July 11, 2016 at 4:14 pm Reply

Post your comment…my dad’s 1st anniversary will be this coming Sunday 17th July, I was trying to figure out what I could no but I couldn’t come up with anything thanks for this site…. Terrible year it was….

Mona Villarrubia   May 26, 2016 at 5:59 pm Reply

My son took his own life so his deathiversary is a day we just try to survive. On the other hand we celebrate his birthday every year with a gathering at his favorite pub with cousins uncles aunts and friends. We face-time his brother in new york as we toast him with guinness and bailey’s in a “car bomb” and we sing happy birthday. This was the 9th anniversary and it has become a joyful gathering where we start planning for our summer vacation as an extended family.

John   May 3, 2017 at 5:19 am Reply

I’m so sorry for your loss, My Son also took his own life on May 3rd 2015. I would be lying if I said it gets easier.

bill pickett   May 25, 2016 at 6:57 pm Reply

the second word in this commentary should read-you’re, it is read “if (you are)

Litsa   May 25, 2016 at 7:12 pm Reply

Thanks Bill, we’re typo queens 🙂

Rachel Lopez   May 20, 2016 at 11:06 am Reply

This July 13th will be the 1 yr anniversary that my husband passed I’ve been dreading this day but yet there’s nothing more than I love to do but remember him with the ones he loved and anyone that would like to be apart of it. I’ve been trying to think of ideas and I found on the internet sky lanterns I think that’s what I want to do. His birthday will be 2 weeks later so the month of July is hard for me and our kids. Since he passed his family has not spoke to me or my kids they find it better for them to place blame and not include me or my CHILDERN in there life I think it’s very sad cause my husband would be very upset that they have treated us HIS family very bad. I wish they would be part of what I’d like to do but in his honor I’m going to carry on and do something for him with my family and childern. I cremated him and have him here at home with us so having his favorite food for dinner and skylanyers is what I plan to do

Lauren Olson   March 18, 2016 at 10:00 pm Reply

As I sit her and read all the post’s from different people it make me feel like I’m getting better, I lost my “soulmate” and the love of my life on April 2nd 2015, I have a large family and they all try to help me get through this but, I have such a HEAVY heart as I approach the anniversary of his death. I continue to have him on my mind at least 20-30 times a day “no kidding” it seems everything I see reminds of something we did or shared or even wanted to do.etc.I have planted a beautiful little tree in his honor of his birthday, released balloons with the family 1 for each year of his life. My son built a bench to sit by the tree for fathers day, so we have done many of the things already but, as I sat and read through the suggestions of things to do to commemorate his memory I found something that is very fitting, he was always very neat and kept all his things in order his side of the closet was always perfect, me not so much. I really felt bad about that later, when he was gone and my part of the closet was still a mess! so that’s what I’m going to do!! I know I will feel his presence <3

Amanda   March 16, 2016 at 9:24 am Reply

Hello, we are trying to come up with idea for the 1 year mark on losing our daughter, Makinley Rain was 13years old, and fought hard for 21 months with leukemia. We want to do something big for her remembrance. Do y’all have any suggestions

Nancy   March 8, 2016 at 7:57 pm Reply

I lost my daughter on March 14th 2015, she fought cancer for 15 years. She was so strong and so positive and life without her is very difficult. She was only 47, and should have had many more years, but her suffering is over and she is with God. I struggle to keep positive for her children and do the best I can, although I know I will never measure up to her. I am trying to plan something to celebrate her life and appreciate all the suggestions I can get. Thank you for this site.

Sharyl   March 3, 2016 at 11:42 pm Reply

Sophia, I lost my mom a year ago today too. March 3rd, 2015. I can’t believe how difficult it’s been and sometimes I still don’t think it’s true. I shared the fact that this was the one year anniversary with some of my coworkers just to acknowledge it in some way. I’m going to have a glass of wine, light a candle, say a prayer, and cry little bit before I go to bed.

Sophia   February 29, 2016 at 4:54 pm Reply

My birthday is March 2, that is the day one year ago that the doctors lost my father but were able to revive him. I spent my entire birthday at the hospital completely lost. That was the day I was told his body was deteriorating and we needed to start saying our good byes. March 3, 2016 was the day my father earned his angel wings. The day my father watched me take my first breath, exactly 34 years later I watched him taking some of his last breaths of air. These two days I’ve been dreading for almost a year now. I will be honest, I just want to lock my self in my room have a tantrum all by myself. I think the world should stop just so I can grieve. Now I know that’s not possible, I have children so I have to get up take them to school and then go to work. I’m not sure how I ha going to handle these two days. Everyone wants me to celebrate my birthday, for the past year now I’ve made it very clear. I NO LONGER HAVE A BIRTHDAY. To me, there is nothing to celebrate. 🙁

tracy russell   February 29, 2016 at 5:45 pm Reply

Sophia, your post struck a chord with me. I had my first birthday without my lovely Dad last May. I didn’t lose Dad on or around my birthday so I can only imagine how completely torn you feel. I had friends who tried to tell me I had to celebrate my birthday but, like you, there is nothing to celebrate. I was firm with my friends (to the point of being harsh) & told them the day was special because Dad made it special every year with little things he did for me & without him there is no birthday. You do whatever you feel. For me, I pretended it wasn’t my birthday, went home from work & cried my eyes out. Sending you love, you WILL get through those awful 2 days x

Michael Cole   February 8, 2016 at 2:18 pm Reply

Starting this year, each year on the anniversary of my wife’s passing, I will donate blood. When we first started dating, she had been impressed that I was a regular blood donor.

Beth L   January 27, 2016 at 6:23 pm Reply

February 8th is the anniversary of my father’s death. He was not an easy man to have as a father – exacting, smart, funny yet not one to easily share his feelings. I believe I was special to him and he sure was a special man to me. He was kind but quiet about it, he was giving but would never openly acknowledge it. At his wake, I heard literally a hundred stories about how my father helped in one way or another. He would make fun of my trusting and giving nature but after hearing these stories, I realize he was more trusting and giving than I have ever been.

My father…measure twice, cut once. Be kind but never overly ingratiating. Give to others but do so because it’s only through the grace of God that we are not in the same position. Until the last six weeks of his life, he was not especially giving of his love in an open way except with animals. What is the saying…the true measure of a man is how he treats those less fortunate and animals.

On our way to the grave site, a stranger stopped walking and saluted as we passed (the hearse had a Marine sticker in honor of my father’s service). I thank this man, this stranger, for celebrating and recognizing the greatness of my father. I don’t have to measure twice. He was and will forever be a hero in my eyes.

My father would be laughing right now, saying I’m overly sentimental – that he was nothing special. He was special to me, my mother, my siblings, my animals and to so many others. I miss him every day but as I read other posts, I am also extremely grateful that we had in him in our lives for as long as we did – so many others have lost someone special way too soon. I feel blessed for having him as a father, a teacher and a guiding force in my life.

Victorina   January 27, 2016 at 12:40 am Reply

June 29, 2016 is my grandfathers 1-yr anniversary since his passing. It has been so hard for me. He passed away from a stage four stomach cancer… I miss him so much. But I would like to do something with my family to remember him by. Since it’ll be the 1st year, what do you suggest?

Debbie L.   January 26, 2016 at 10:34 pm Reply

Thank you for this posting of ideas. In May, will be one year since my husband’s, John, home going. I am wanting to do something for him, for me, his siblings for a remembrance. He didn’t like flowers, but had some wonderful hobbies to get some ideas from. Hunting, fishing, and amateur radio. In our headstone, already, are a couple of our older hand-held radios and a 1/2 wave antenna permanently mounted. I am going to take some old antlers he used for rattling, and a little fishing pole and find a way to secure them. As a hunter, he was very adamantly against trophy hunting and was more concerned about filling our freezer. Same thing with fishing. Luckily, where he is at is pretty isolated so very little chance of vandelism. He died two days after his birthday, so I want to have a get together for his birthday with his favorite foods and desserts. He didn’t like traditional birthday cakes and always requested banana pudding and pineapple upside down cake. I think I can do that. When we gather, it will be around a fire pit and it will be easier for his family to think on and remember all the good things they did together.

John   January 10, 2016 at 6:12 am Reply

My wife Jo suddenly and unexpectedly passed away13 weeks ago. She was 64 years old. In March we will be married 46 years. I’ve been going through a horrific time dealing with it. I’ve especially been extremely afraid and concerned that I’m not feeling her presence with me. This only adds to the painful loneliness I’ve been experiencing. Along with all this I am currently in the hospital with pneumonia and have been for a week now. The other day I was sitting in my hospital room thinking about my soul mate I recently lost. I was startled when I heard music coming from the hallway. I walked to the doorway and there was this lady playing a harp for the room across the hall. I’m thinking harp music, associated with Angels and Heaven maybe this is a sign from my wife. I listened my eyes tearing up until she was finished, it was beautiful. She saw me and approached me. I explained to her about my wife and how I thought my wife may have sent her to me. She asked if I would like her to play something for me and I said yes please. She randomly took a sheet of music from the many she had and began to play. Before she was finished I recognized the song and began to shake uncontrollably. I said to her I know that song, it’s called A Time For Us, the theme song from the1968 movie Romeo and Juliet. She said yes you’re right. Tears running down my face I said to her “that was my wife’s and my favorite song and movie. We were seniors in high school and associated ourselves with the movie. The movie came out October 8, 1968. We went on a date to see it that Friday which was October 11, 1968. My wife passed away on October 11, 2015. Coincidence, I don’t think so. She sent me a sign and connected our beginning together and the end of us in this world. Needless to say, I thanked the lady, went back in my hospital room and cried for an hour.

S B   January 3, 2016 at 2:28 am Reply

Monday 4 January will mark the one-year passing of my best friend, my mom. I have been incredibly teary since Christmas, with New Year’s Eve being the worst of it. My husband and I had planned a day trip to the beach (two hour drive each way) because that’s where I feel closest to her. However, all of the emotions of the past week have left me feeling exhausted and overwhelmed…now a day trip seems too much to manage. However, the thought of just staying home is causing my anxiety to ramp up. I want desperately to acknowledge her that day–and be away from here–but am at a loss as to how to do that. Also, her 75th birthday is three weeks later, on the 25th. I love all the ideas in this post, but can’t find any that “fit.” What do I do???

sharon   December 31, 2015 at 1:10 pm Reply

I have a FaceBook page that I started called “Random Acts of Remembrance”.. this isnt an ad or plug for my page-I don’t get anything for it. lol..I started it to remember my Mom by doing kid things for others in her memory. Each Mothers Day, birthday or other anniversary I try to do little acts of kindness or remembering. Sometimes I leave bubbles in the park for kids, on the 4th of July I took lighted balloons and glow sticks and left them in baskets for people to take and enjoy-in memory of fun times I had with my mom or my brother who also passed away. It was awesome to see lighted balloons all over the park at night. We’ve had a lot of loss this year, my nieces husband tragically died, I think when it warms up I will take some bait to a good fishing spot and leave it for a random fisherman because Mike so loved to fish. Anyway, I started the FB page hoping maybe others will find ways to celebrate or remember their lost loved one and share it if they so choose. It’s kind of like a FB page of love for those who have gone before us. <3…

Litsa   January 2, 2016 at 11:08 pm Reply

What a great idea, Sharon. Thanks for sharing!

Brande   December 28, 2015 at 1:49 pm Reply

Tomorrow is the one year anniversary of my mothers passing from cancer. My sisters, grandma, and I were around her holding her hand when she took her last breath. My sisters and I plan on making waffles in the morning, it was a tradition mom did on the weekends. We also plan on having a twilight marathon because she loved to do that. We also plan on digging out a bunch of old photos and making photo albums together. We are all pretty young.. 21, 18, 15, and 13 years old. So this is the most we can all handle doing. She was the glue to our family. We are all still pretty lost.

Stephanie Slukich   November 29, 2022 at 8:42 pm Reply

During this time of year it feels of constant dread. Last year in 2021 I experienced the loss of my first pet, my father, and a close boss. The loss of my first dog was in November and looking at pictures of him was easier and would bring some tears to my eyes, the loss of my father is approaching in December and planning on doing something only feels like false promises to myself since for his own birthday I could only find myself wanting to sulk in bed and cry when looking at photos. His loss was so impactful on me since the man he was growing up was not the same man who passed. I have grieved for the version of him who was gone for years. I consistently try to question what am I truly going to do when it’s his deathaversary. Do as I did the day he died and put up Christmas decorating and remind myself it’s another Christmas without him. We shared so many memories growing up the constant reminder of having my son grow up without his grandfather shatters me. The death of my boss will be more of checking in on others and listen to songs that we would sing to in the OR.

DIXON JAMES   December 19, 2015 at 3:31 am Reply

Life must go on even if one’s loved ones are passed on from this life to another. Christians believe in eternal life and others have other beliefs about life after death. So there is life after death which means the dead are never DEAD! They do exist in spirit. So why grieve? Stay focused on what your loved ones would expect you to achieve in life and go for it in that way you show gratitude to the deceased ( although absent in body). Reminding oneself of the past is NOT a good practice because we force ourselves into grieving again and again. There is an end for everything and we must learn to accept reality and move on with our lives.

Litsa   December 19, 2015 at 8:04 pm Reply

Hi Dixon, I have to disagree. Grief is not about believing in an afterlife or not, it is about acknowledging the pain of wanting to be with someone who is no longer with us. You seem to assume grief is a bad thing, when I would suggest it is not- when we have loved someone deeply continuing to remember them, even when it is sad at moments, is not a problem. The past is an important part of the present and the future- we dont move on, we move forward with a continued memory of and connection to our loved one. We have a post about grief and belief in an afterlife that you may want to check out here: https://www.whatsyourgrief.com/grief-and-faith-grief-belief/

You may also want to read this post on continuing bonds: https://www.whatsyourgrief.com/continuing-bonds-shifting-the-grief-paradigm/

Tamara   November 25, 2015 at 1:12 pm Reply

My 13-year old daughter passed away unexpectedly just three weeks ago. I found your website as I was looking for some meaningful way to recognize the monthly anniversaries (a year seems way to far away right now; just getting through each day is still a huge challenge). I like the idea of candle lighting and think that I will start this monthly tradition with my husband and our two boys. Thank you so much for sharing your ideas.

Sue   November 3, 2015 at 10:08 pm Reply

Tuesday is the ninth anniversary of the loss of my husband. Each year my 3adult children and their families get together and celebrate “dead day.” Each year we do something to remember and honor their father/my husband and I’m out of ideas. That’s how I found this website. There is comfort in hearing other people’s stories and knowing that others can truly relate to what one is going through. These are some of the things we have done to celebrate his life. Had his favorite quote mounted on a paper weight for each of my kids; each child selected a piece of his jewelry; planted a tree in his honor; created stepping stones for our garden; made at t-shirt quilt; dedicated brick pavers with his name at a sports addition at his high school; that’s about it. Need some more hands on ideas. Thank you for this site. There is very little out there for helping someone to heal

Litsa   November 4, 2015 at 10:56 pm Reply

Ah, those are such great ideas Sue – thanks for sharing. Not sure if you saw this post about preserving handwriting, but it has some interesting ideas – https://www.whatsyourgrief.com/9-creative-ways-to-preserve-handwriting/

We also have a lot of posts about using photography. Are you familiar with Dear Photograph? Doing that might be a neat, hand-on thing to do as a family: https://www.whatsyourgrief.com/dear-photograph-old-memories-new-time/

Adele lammie   October 26, 2015 at 10:19 am Reply

Hi was looking for someone to help Sadly last year I lost my young brother who I spent very much of my time with him we were really close but me being a mum myself I dnt understand why my mum has kept my brothers death or even what happnend or where is body is laid to rest a secret from me and my dad so when it comes to paying our respect to my brother ware totally lost for what we can do if anyone could good we

Sue   October 2, 2015 at 11:37 pm Reply

Eleanor, I was googling when I came across your blog. Tomorrow will be the 1st anniversary if my husbands death. Then in two weeks the 2nd anniversary of my son’s death to suicide. And next week would have been the 28th wedding anniversary for my husband and me. So October pretty much stinks. I have planned for months to spend the day along, watching our wedding video, listening to our CD’ s etc. My friends wanted me to spend the day with them. Our kids are all grown and live in other states. No family here. Am I wrong for wanting to be alone. Is it “dis-honouring” him?I need to grieve and I’m not a “public” person.

Litsa   October 2, 2015 at 11:56 pm Reply

Sue, it is definitely NOT wrong to want to be alone. You need to do what feels right for you. If you communicate that with your friends hopefully they will understand. If they are very focused on ‘helping’ you by doing something with you, you may be able to refocus the effort by making plans to get together on a different day.

Your comment made me think of a post I wrote a while back that you might appreciate. https://www.whatsyourgrief.com/fathers-day-sulking-without-apology/

Eleanor   October 5, 2015 at 2:32 pm Reply

I do not think it is ‘dishonoring’ him at all to spend the day as planned. You decided to spend the day in the way that you did because it allowed you to be close to his memory and to spend time in reflection. You know your own limitations and what would you find most meaningful and fulfilling. I absolutely think you should stick to your plan and whatever you find comfort in, you can catch up with your friends the next day.

Trudy   September 21, 2015 at 7:56 pm Reply

I have been reading all of the posts and my heart goes out to everyone. The ones who have lost children, my heart aches for you. I lost both of my parents this past December in 2014, 19 days apart. My mom had Alzheimers and my dad passed 19 days later of a broken heart. Every one has started talking about the holidays will be here before long and I find myself tearing up. My mom was buried the day before my birthday and my dad the day before Christmas Eve. Last Christmas I was just numb. I am really hoping I can pull myself together this year and remember the Christmas’ past just spending time with them. I want to smile and laugh!

tracy russell   September 22, 2015 at 2:24 am Reply

Trudy, my heart breaks for you. I lost my Dad last September very suddenly which is bad enough but to lose both parents & in such a short space of time is truly devastating. I am so, so sorry for your loss. The thing that stuck out for me in your post is that you want to laugh & smile. The fact that you want to is a massive achievement! Maybe around Christmas time you could do something your parents would love? Maybe a family ritual you did every year? This is your journey so you need to do what is right for you. My heart goes out to you x

Dionne   September 14, 2015 at 4:57 pm Reply

Tuesday 9/22/15 will mark the 2nd anniversary of my 22 year old son’s death as a passenger in a car accident. He often went camping with his uncle. He was always the first to ask to start a fire in the fireplace, as soon as the season called for it. OK, let’s just call it what it is. Kendall was a pyro. And honestly, he got it from me. ;0) We will be gathering in my brother’s forest-like back yard and making a Kamp fire for Kendall. We all feel that if we gather in his name and light a fire…he’ll be there. I miss him so. He was the daughter I never had, “my buddy”.

Mary Archibald   September 14, 2015 at 4:49 pm Reply

My Daughter Danielle ,22, passed away suddenly,unnecessarily,and to my dis-belief and horror…I burst through her bedroom door,and found her on her bed,but it was too late,this was on 8-3-15…I screamed call 911 to my Mom and tried C.P.R…til the Medics arrived,I’m SO bereaved and still in a state of shock and tormenting horror of if I might have knocked on her door sooner that day,this very well have could of been prevented,I’m racked with grief and some guilt about why didn’t i knock on her door this day,as I would randomly,here and there because we were on different schedules and though we lived together,we wouldn’t see each other that much because of our differing ways we slept and did our usual things…nothing seemed out of sorts that day,I found out through the coroner,she had Oxycontin in her system that mixed wrong with her regular medications she took,and it threw her into a “fall out” state,if you will….it is very difficult to even be typing this,as I haven’t yet fully digested all this horror,It wasnt an overdose of the Oxycontin,either,it all mixed terribly wrong and overcame my girl….I don’t have a clue how I would do most of the list of things,because I’m so bereft,it hurts so badly right now,mostly I cry for her….At 30 day mark,I took my Mother (who lives here,too) and we went to our 1st Grief Group,called The Compassionate Friends…they are a Nation Wide group and if anyone reads this would like to go to a meeting in their area,you may look them up on your computer,for one in your area….I just don’t know to go about these things that will be coming up,I feel like she didn’t get to live,so why should I celebrate? It’s too early,much too early for me….others who are able,that is wonderful,but for me,It will be so hard to try most of your suggestions,it’s been such a short amount of time,I can light a candle,i know at least that….I’m pretty lost right now being without her,and it was SO sudden…She Loved Her Life,as many of our loved one’s did,it’s all too sad for me at this point,but your suggestions are very honorable…Something may come,someday? I do hope,I do……I haven’t much Family,we were pretty much everything to each other,I do have my Son inPA….maybe when her Birthday comes around :'( …we can do something,I live in South Carolina…..I’m just baffled as one of the people who also posted said they were going 100 m.p.h….seems so am I ….thank-You for the tips though.

Susan   September 14, 2015 at 4:10 pm Reply

October 26, 2013 was the day my world forever changed, when my mom left this world and left me all alone (not really, but it feels like it sometimes). I think we get ourselves worked up for the day coming up and it’s not nearly as bad as we expect. I, with you, will also always relate the fall with her passing and will never enjoy it like I used to. It’s a hard life without her! ?

fran   September 14, 2015 at 2:56 pm Reply

sadly my daughter died at 27 on the fourth of july 2010. we cant hardly forget when she passed at 6A:09 pm that night. so we buy some of those oriental lanterns and release them into the sky when we are done with out fireworks as a way to remember her.

Mydra & Joaquin   August 24, 2015 at 12:53 pm Reply

My boyfriend, Rey passed away on October 29, 2014. He was my best friend, my first boyfriend, my first kiss, and he is also the father of our son Joaquin. I don’t know really what Im looking for. I just want our son to always remember his father and the love he had for him. He was 21 months old when his dad passed and even though Joaquin may not fully comprehend the idea of Rey being gone forever it motivates me to ensure he understands his father loved him. He still points at the moon and tell her good night like his Dada used to tell him to do. Thank you ladies for your support, I was too depressed before to care enough to find a way to cope. But with his 1 year anniversary(I hate that word!) coming up I want to remember Rey and I want Joaquin to remember too! God Bless

Tiffany   August 23, 2015 at 7:47 pm Reply

What can you do for a birthday memorial for a 2 year old who passed away at 5 1/2 month’s old.

Tracy Russell   August 19, 2015 at 8:48 am Reply

Hi, I am coming up for the first anniversary of losing my lovely Dad on 8th September (a date that is ingrained into my brain). I still remember every minute detail from that day when I got the call to say he was gone. It was so sudden. I had spoken to Dad that morning and he was fine. Anyway, I’m finding that I’m having strange feelings lately. Apart from still not believing Dad has gone and feeling like the wind is knocked out me; I am quite snappy, acting completely irrationally and the dreams about my Dad are so vivid – more vivid than before. The few times I have dreamt about Dad he has always been just out of my reach but lately, it’s like he is right there and I can see him so clearly – into his eyes and even the few wrinkles that he had, down to his salt and pepper hair. I like to think this is my Dad telling me that he knows I’m struggling and he’s here. Mum and I are dreading “the day” as it creeps closer. We’ll be together on the 8th September but we have no plans on how to get through it. I like the suggestions mentioned in the blog and any others would be welcome. Thanks Tracy

Patrice   August 18, 2015 at 9:42 pm Reply

All great ideas that can help grieving people heal.

If I may plug myself regarding #4. …I create Memory Owls from a loved ones special clothing. You can see them here; https://www.etsy.com/listing/244342054/your-custom-9-memory-owl-to-love?ref=shop_home_active_1

All the best in the process.

Chelsea   July 31, 2015 at 2:10 am Reply

As of August 19th 2015, my best friend, Matthew, will have been gone for 12 years. He would be 19 years old. On August 19th, I go to the park by my house and watch a little league baseball game, Matt loved, and I mean LOVED baseball. That kid probably had more baseball cards and new more about his favorite teams (the Chicago Cubs and Milwaukee Brewers) than some long time collectors I know. I haven’t been to his grave in the 12 years since he was buried there, but I want to, and one of these years I’ll do it. I’ll bring votive candles and incense sticks, and I’ll show him the signed baseball I got from my 7th grade field trip to a Brewers vs. Cubs game. If he were still alive I’d have just given it to him long ago. I also tend to read the poems that I love and that would be on my “I miss Matthew” playlist if only they were set to music. Then, I revamp my efforts, my promises to him and myself,

1. He will not be forgotten 2. I will try to live the way he would have wanted me to 3. I will remember the joy more than the pain 4. I will support the awareness of, and research for the conditions which led to his death at every opportunity, whether that means charity marches, signing petitions, participating wholeheartedly in awareness weeks, writing/speaking about them and the importance of coming up with more effective and affordable treatment options. 5. In short, I will do all I can, in any and all small ways I can, to help create a world in which a child in the same situation will not only be expected to live beyond 7 yrs, but to adulthood and beyond. So that, what we (Matt’s family and friends) went through in 2003 never has to happen again.

Jason   July 29, 2015 at 9:51 pm Reply

My mother passed away on June 16th 2015 from cancer. Today is the 30th of July her birthday 🙁 I am 26yrs of age and the youngest in the family. We will be gathering today as a family to have a cake for our mother in her honour. She would have been 56yrs old, I cry everyday and this is the first time I am talking to someone about this. My boss at work gave me this website to help me through work. I am amazed on the posts and replies. I love you mum always and forever!

Tracy Russell   July 30, 2015 at 4:35 am Reply

Hi Jason, I read your post this morning with tears in my eyes. I am so sorry for your loss. I like what you did for your Mum’s birthday. You will be amazed at the strength you will find to keep going and I promise you will find the strength. I have found a lot of comfort in this site since I lost my lovely Dad last year. I don’t need to tell you that you will miss your Mum forever but you will find yourself smiling when you think of her instead of crying. It’s still so early and raw for you. Give yourself time and grieve at your own pace. Keep talking about your Mum to your loved ones. She is still with you and always will be. Thinking of you. Tracy

Adam   July 2, 2015 at 3:28 pm Reply

Brandy Posted on March 8, 2015 at 11:59 am “Today is my only son, Jr, 2nd birthday (out of 4 kids) if he hadn’t been still born at full term…”

Brandy, I am so sorry for what you are going through and I pray that the things you are doing are helping you cope. I am writing to you because your post hit me very hard and also slightly concerned me. While I don’t know your specific loss, I do know loss. A lot of it. The first and most important thing to understand is that guys aren’t ‘wired’ the same way women are. Please hear me out… My wife and I have been through this on many different occasions. I know how horrible this sounds, but your husband may not need to grieve openly. He may not want to grieve at all. I strongly suggest you don’t try to push him. Guys must prioritize their feelings. If they do not, it can become very dangerous. While women are generally powerful floods of emotion capable of experiencing and managing a wide range of feelings all at once, many men compartmentalize everything. We must keep our best feelings on the forefront so that they will be the emotions that directly affect everything we do. If we dwell on sorrow, our lives will be driven by sorrow. Because of this, many of us tend to take these terrible things and lock them away. They are not buried, building and waiting to explode, they are simply placed on a shelf where we don’t need to think about them. This does not mean that we don’t care! Sometimes, when we are all alone, we may pull out the little box, open it up, and let a few tears fall. Then we close it, put the lock back on, and put it back on its shelf. I am begging you not to try to push your husband to open up. If he does it on his own, then he is ready for it and will be able to control it… But, I fear, if you succeed in convincing him to grieve in such an outward manner, you may start him on a downward spiral of anger, hate, fear and other intense emotions that guys are not designed to handle in such magnitude. This could cause severe problems for your family. PLEASE, just let him be dad. Do what you need to do for you and your daughters, but don’t push him. He will deal with it in the way that is best for him.

Very Sincerely, Adam

Litsa   July 4, 2015 at 9:03 am Reply

Adam, thanks for taking the time to comment! You and Brandy get at such a difficult topic when grieving, which is how we grieve together. People have so many different grief styles and it can be a huge strain on a relationship when people are not meeting each other’s grief expectations. It isn’t ideal for either person in a relationship not to communicate what they need from another person and, at the same time, it is not ideal for one person to push or impose their grief style on the other person. These can be difficult waters to negotiate, especially when everyone is struggling moe than usual because of their grief. This post discusses gender and different grief styles and may be useful.

Grandma   March 26, 2016 at 1:57 pm Reply

Adam… Thank you for the very insightful post you wrote. Two years ago April 1st, 2014 my daughter, her husband, myself and her grandfather experienced the same type of loss. I was there with my daughter and son in law when my dear grandson was born. He lived for 1 hour and 2 minutes and then he was taken from us. As far as the advice you gave I believe you were spot on because I have experienced the same type of reaction… But with my daughter. She doesn’t want to discuss it, if you mention it she gets angry or will cut me off and say ” Don’t talk about it”. It’s hard for me to rationalize that she has put it in a box and has closed it where as I have still very raw emotions about it and still cry and knowing that date is coming up is bringing it to the surface. Everyone does grieve in a different way and there are support groups out there that can help you deal with all the emotions that come from a loss. A loss of any type is hard, but a loss of a child is gut wrenching… It is not the natural order of how things are meant to be. Because my daughter is dealing with it in a different way than I am I am in a support group so I can be with other people that are grieving the same way i am. You have to take care of yourself and your feelings and that’s all you can do. Grief and loss is so, so difficult but I have learned as well you can’t push someone to grieve or deal with a loss the same way you do… We all do it in our own way in our own time. It’s difficult when you are not on the same page but you just have to learn to accept it. I would strongly suggest a support group or some type of professional help or if you are involved in a church to talk to a priest/pastor.. Whatever. I hope the situation gets easier with time. I will be thinking of your little angel next Friday as I think of our family’s little angel as well!

Tracy Russell   May 19, 2015 at 11:07 am Reply

Hi, I have only just found this blog via Pinterest (thank you Pinterest!) and I have to say it’s brilliant. I only lost my beloved Dad in September 2014 and it was so sudden I didn’t even get a call to say he was unwell, it was a call to say he was gone so you can imagine the pain my Mum and I have gone through every day since 8th September. I’ve had counselling which has helped but I still have those “manic days” where I go at 100 mph because I’m afraid to stop. Anyway, I’m babbling again! I just wanted to say how comforting this blog is and I have found myself doing some of the things your have suggested for my Dad’s birthday, which was in Feb (he would’ve been 70). It’s comforting to know I’m not going as mad as I thought. Thank you again, Tracy

Litsa   May 19, 2015 at 10:37 pm Reply

Thank you so much for taking the time to comment! I am so sorry for your loss, but glad you have found some help on our site. Knowing our site is of some help to others is what keeps us writing!

Jo   May 13, 2015 at 11:13 am Reply

Thanks Eleanor. I think you are right in what you say with regard to reconciling or making peace with what happened. Im not entirely sure how to do that and Im interested in researching ways of managing the painful memories and how I can try and have some control over them. It is difficult avoid to bad dreams, as we have no control over those – but the daytime flashbacks is something that maybe I can try and work on. Anyway, its something to think about. You are right – its nearly Summer, although in London UK we can’t always guarantee it haha.. Jo 🙂

Jo   May 12, 2015 at 5:10 am Reply

Thank you for putting this blog together… My twin sister has been gone 13 years this week. She died just before our 32nd birthday of cancer. Life has changed so much since she left us.. but I still say good night to her photo every evening. The emotions around her anniversary always creep up on me, no matter how much I try to prepare myself for it every year. It comes over me like a huge wave of emotion, which includes nightmares when I sleep and flashbacks during the day of her final weeks of this brutal disease. I guess my question is, why does my brain only allow me to remember the horror.. not the fun, the laughter? Nicola had a wonderful life until her breast cancer came.. we were close and would laugh all the time. Yet when I sleep.. and when the anniversary approaches.. these bad images seem to takeover… I wish I could stop them. It is comforting to know I’m not alone after reading your blog.. Time is a great healer I really believe that….. and I say that to all the people who have recently lost someone.. but the anniversaries are always tough.

Eleanor   May 13, 2015 at 10:16 am Reply

You’re right, time is a great healer but as you’ve said here, there are still things that hurt even 13 years later. Litsa and I were just discussing the other night how the twin bond is one so close neither of us can truly understand it – I’m sure you feel pain for this loss that others can’t fully comprehend. I’m sorry you still live with the awful memories at times. Maybe there’s something about these events you need to reconcile or make peace with, and maybe it’s that they are just awful memories that will be difficult to ever forget. Thank you for offering your perspective and I hope this time of year hasn’t been too rough on you. At least summer is around the corner 🙂

Christina   April 27, 2015 at 9:31 am Reply

Hi I lost my daughter Emily May 1of last year to cancer…she was only 15 months old. My heart aches for her everyday. Most of her short life was spent in and out of hospitals for weekly periods at a time. Most of the time just her and I and I find it a struggle to cope with life without her now. I went from her constantly by my side to nothingness. The anniversary of her death is coming up very soon and I don’t know what to do….it feels as if it were just yesterday that we sat in the hospital holding her telling her how much we love her as she took her last breaths. I remember it clear as day and it just rips me apart.

Eleanor   April 27, 2015 at 1:21 pm Reply

Oh Christina,

I can hear in your words how painful your grief is on a daily basis. I’m sure it does feel like she was here just yesterday, as I’m sure this last year has been a blur. I encourage you to go extremely easy on yourself as the year mark of her death approaches. What do you need to do to get through the day? How can you take care of yourself? Is there a small way you want to spend time in quiet reflection with her memory or honor her? If it’s all you can do to get out of bed, that’s okay – I’m sure you honor her every day and will continue to do so forever. To the extent that you can, surround yourself with whatever you find comforting.

We’ll keep your family in our thoughts,

Toni   April 25, 2015 at 3:42 pm Reply

First of all I want to extend my condolences to Eleanor & Litsa and everyone whose taken the time to share their story of grief. I wanted to respond to Claire’s comment above but couldn’t get that to work. Today is the 10th anniversary of when I lost my Mom & I agree that time doesn’t heal everything, rather it just shows you that you can get through it & carry on, even if the wounds are still there. My Mom’s passing was sudden & unexpected and I barely remember the first year after. All I know is that each anniversary I make a shepherd’s pie which was the meal we cooked together that night, look at pictures & video of her, and then I write in a journal, which allows me to cry and “talk” with her. Like you said Eleanor, the biggest fear is that somehow you will forget them so I think it’s important to not only honor them but reassure yourself that they are still a part of you. I used to carry a huge burden of guilt – I should have known something was wrong, I could have done more for her when she was here, etc but I realize she wouldn’t want me to feel this way. Sometimes I’ve written Mother’s Day cards & just seal them and keep them in a box. When I get lost in missing her I remember to feel fortunate for the time I did have & to have shared such a special relationship with her, otherwise it wouldn’t still hurt so much. I think loss can not be defined by a title (ie Mother, Father, brother, friend, etc) but rather is based on the relationship you had with that person, which could even be your next door neighbor. I appreciate your ideas above. After the first couple years I didn’t gather anyone together as I didn’t want to make them feel like they had to be sad, since they may not feel the same level of loss that I do. I usually get a few messages from friends/family letting me know they’re thinking of me and my Mom & missing her which makes me feel better that I know she’s not forgotten. She was a single mother and did the best job she could raising my brother & I and if I can demonstrate the same strength she had, I know she’d be proud of me. Thank you for hosting a site that shows we are not alone.

Ryan   April 16, 2015 at 12:54 pm Reply

Sunday, April 19, 2015 will be 8 years that my mother passed away. I was 12 years old at the time. At the time it was very hard for me to process and make sense of her loss. Up until recently (I am 20 years old now) I am just discovering the impact that had on my emotional well-being. However, with the help of friends and family I have always felt loved and never alone. Going through that experience, I became angry and doubted most religions because of that anger. I’m not a Christian (although there is nothing wrong with being one) but I ended up find solace in Buddhism, which teaches that everything is temporary and everything that happens on this earth is an opportunity for growth, which is what I’ve chosen to view this as. I’ve also realized that our loved ones who have passed would not want us to dwell on the pain of their passing, but to remember the love they shared and make our lives the best we can. I was looking for a way to remember my mother and came across this list and I plan on doing a few of these things on Sunday. I plan on planting a tree or flower (haven’t decided yet as I live in an apartment) and spending Sunday with her side of my family going through home videos and childhood pictures. I wanted to thank the author of this list, it has given me new ways to honor my mothers life and the life she has given me.

Litsa   April 16, 2015 at 3:40 pm Reply

Ryan, I can TOTALLY relate. I was 18 when I lost my dad and I found huge comfort in Buddhism. I was a philosophy major in college and I was not interested on counseling or support groups, but Buddhist philosophy helped me so much. I actually wrote about that here on the blog a while ago- you might appreciate it: https://www.whatsyourgrief.com/grief-and-buddhism-comfort-in-impermanence/

Debbie   April 9, 2015 at 12:06 am Reply

Hi, April 24, 2015 will be 13 years since my son Dean passed away. Every year on his Death anniversary we buy balloons and write a note to him. We go in our back yard and let them go to Heaven after each one of us says something to him outloud. We also pray. We watch the balloons till they are out of our sight. In the beginning I could barely get the words out without sobbing but now I am able to do it ( still makes me feel like I have a knife in my heart) but I get my words out to my son. On his first birthday after he had passed ( he would have been 22) I had a birthday party for him with food and a cake and all of his closest friends at our house. I had pictures out of him and we all ate, drank and shared stores of Dean. It seemed to be a comfort for his friends and our family as well. I also try to buy a plant on his death anniversary and plant it in our yard every year. All of this brings me comfort and some peace.

Marcella   March 21, 2015 at 2:53 am Reply

I am really struggling! My son died two days after Mother’s day last year. He was 25 and not a day goes by that my heart doesn’t squeeze tight at the very memory of him. We were very tight and had spent the whole day together. It was a wonderful memory. He was so healthy and happy and truly loved life. Everyone who knew him, loved him so much! He was the only one that died in the car wreck. No one else even got hurt. It is just so unfair. I have 2 daughters and I know that they are in pain as well, we talk about him and all of his funny ways. I am DREADING the 1 year anniversary of that day so bad! Everyone has so many ideas and suggestions for it, but nothing feels right. I want to honor him and let him know that I am alright at the same time. But it is a lie. There are days that are unbearable still. If he were here, he would know just what I should do and say to be ok, and I keep trying to think like him and find his strength…….but I can’t. I go to work and do what I am supposed to do…. But NOTHING is the same. How am I going to get thru that day? I do want to celebrate his life, but his death is still so raw!

Eleanor   March 23, 2015 at 9:00 am Reply

It sounds like you are really conflicted between your feelings of pain and your desire to honor your son’s life in a way that is worthy of his memory. I think the first thing you should do is acknowledge that the day might be really hard and you might feel really awful. You don’t have to put a brave face on or be better off than you are right now. Your grief is a reflection of your love for your son and in a way you are honoring him by grieving him. Over time it will get easier to find the perfect way to honor his memory and to do things that feel more constructive.

For this year, what is realistic? Are you the type of person who prefers to be alone on tough days or surrounded by others? What makes sense for you? Maybe this year you honor him by spending the day privately or with your kids doing something small. You could visit a place where you feel close to him or make his favorite dish for dinner, go through old photos, or just watch movies together. Perhaps you have a small group (your daughters?) over and everyone brings a letter written to him about why this year has been hard and what you miss about him and you read them out loud. I guess the main thing I’m trying to emphasize is that you don’t have to do anything big and you don’t have to have it all together for it to be right. This year is going to be the hardest one to get through, so go easy on yourself.

Naina   March 18, 2015 at 11:15 pm Reply

Hello everyone… It was nice to read everyone’s comments and the ideas given. My uncle died last year on March 27th 2014 and as his death anniversary approaches it brings back the saddest memories :'( he was just a dad to me and I wanted to do so much for him but I couldn’t because he left me. And I wasn’t by his side when he died it kills me till now why I was not there. These ideas make me feel I shoulddo something good to make him happy. Thanks for this. God bless u all with your losses.

C Smith   March 15, 2015 at 9:54 pm Reply

Lovely article. We are quickly approaching the 1 year anniversary of my husbands death. I have known all along that I did not want to be home when this date arrived, so several months ago I sat down with our kids and asked them what they wanted to do. We decided on a destination and so we will spend the week of their Dads passing in a place that we had always planned to go as a family. We will be joined on this adventure (we always called our yearly excursions to our favorite mountain town adventures) by a couple who is closer to us than our families. They have been by our side during every major event our entire married life (wedding, births, hospital stays and death) so I invited them to share in this one too. In the back of my mind I am considering making this a yearly experience, every year during this specific week we spend time as a family, having a new adventure. To me that seems like a nice tribute to the man I love and a good way to deal with him not being here to join us. There are many other things I would like to do to honor his memory but those will come with time.

Maddy   March 11, 2015 at 2:30 am Reply

Thank you so much, this really helped me! I had no idea about what I could/should do to commemorate my moms death. Today is the first year anniversary of my moms death. I am now 16 and birthdays, holidays, etc. are really tough to deal with. My dad and sister don’t like talking about her death, but it feels wrong to ignore that she was ever here. I mourned on my own, using a lot of your suggestions. I am really scared that I will forget my memories of my time with my mom, any suggestions? Also, do you think it would be okay to split up her ashes when we spread them? We want to spread some at her favorite beach and some at a river in our old home town, but we aren’t sure if this is disrepectful or something.

Brandy   March 8, 2015 at 11:59 am Reply

Today is my only son, Jr, 2nd birthday (out of 4 kids) if he hadnt been still born at full term. My 2 older kids have had a hard time dealing with their grief and my husband has been worse. His grief or lack of has had a horrible effect upon the rest of us. My daughters and I like to talk about Jr every once in a while when something reminds us of him. But when we have tried to talk in front of my huaband he gets upset/angry and creates a very bad atmosphere for all. So we have learned to respect hes not ready to openly talk about him. Many times this makes me as a mom very worried about my daughters and how not making their brother apart of our life daily if necessary that they will never fully release and grieve properly. I know from experience when you don’t fully grieve you become depressed, sad, feel lonely, and even anger may build. I do not want this for our kids. My mom made a specific point to help us last year while my daughters and i were visiting by giving us balloons to write on and release and celebrating his birthday with a small cake. The girls seemed so free at that time to talk and ask questions. I wish we could do this or something like it every year, but with my husband. I know its too late for advice for today, but if anyone has any suggestions for us thru out the year instead of only one day out the year that would be much aappreciated!

Janey   February 24, 2015 at 4:54 pm Reply

My beloved friend lorna died 7th march last year. She was diagnosed with cancer three weeks previously but had decided not to tell anyone except her parents and husband as she had been told she had 9 months to live. When her husband called me with the news she had passed I was in shock. I was so angrey with cancer, I still am. How dare cancer take my friend of 35 years. We grew up, went through school, holidays together, weddings births of our kids etc etc. I miss her so much. She was cremated and her ashes have not been scattered yet and I live 3 hours from her husband and so I need suggestions what to do on the anniversary. Thanks in advance

Pam   February 18, 2015 at 11:59 am Reply

Hi Eleanor – I just found your wonderful site. I am a trauma therapist and as you can imagine I work with folks everyday who have experienced many kinds of grief. I only joined your site a couple of days ago and already have found so much useful. I really appreciated how to get through holidays. The rock star tutorial on Father’s Day sulking will be especially helpful information. Anyway, thanks for hosting such a remarkable site. I am sure to suggest the site to many.

Eleanor   February 19, 2015 at 10:28 am Reply

Thank you so much for your support! I’m glad you’ve found the site helpful.

Theresa   February 15, 2015 at 2:19 pm Reply

Go to your child’s class room and share with his classmates, memories they have cherished of him . This one I made up but to me it sounds extra special. Have the teacher do up pictures by the children to give to you about what they loved about your precious child as keepsakes for you.

Litsa   February 16, 2015 at 2:43 am Reply

Ah that is a lovely idea, and could help a teacher or school counselor support children who are struggling with the loss.

Jonathan   February 15, 2015 at 12:40 pm Reply

My 78 year old grandfather or ”papa” like what me and my family called him died on this month on the 27th. He was also born on this month. He was born on the same street where he died. New Orleans, AMA, LA CrookedR Lane. I miss him so much he loved to see me on trips from Savannah where I live.

Litsa   February 16, 2015 at 2:47 am Reply

Jonathan, I am so sorry for your loss, but glad you found our little corner of the internet 🙂 I am sure his birthday and the anniversary of his death coming up in the same month is tough- I hope you find what works for you to honor him. Take care!!

Kelly   February 8, 2015 at 8:08 pm Reply

Thank you for this list and everyone for your suggestions. The end of this month will be the 1 year mark of losing my best friend (one of the most important and influential people in my life), and I’m still searching for ideas. For her birthday I (with help) did a random act of kindness for each year of her life and invited others to join in. It turned out to be a wonderful day of celebration. For this anniversary I know I want/need to do something low-key and full of honor, remembrance, and permission to myself to keep healing and moving forward. I just don’t know what yet. I don’t live near friends or family who knew her, so I feel a little like I’m on my own… Which is ok–just need to figure out how I want that day to look. I won’t lie. It kind of exhausts me to think about it.

Rhonda   February 9, 2015 at 8:48 am Reply

I suggest praying and not to worry after you pray. Something will come to you when God is ready. It will be a great day if you give it to God.

Beth   February 3, 2015 at 5:02 pm Reply

My Dad died 22 years ago and I’d like to start some remembrance rituals with my sons (three and one) on the anniversary and your list has really helped me. Thank you. Beth

Litsa   February 3, 2015 at 11:04 pm Reply

So glad you found this list helpful. Please let us know what you decide to do! Also, I am not sure if you saw this post, but we have a post specifically on ideas for children who didn’t know or who can’t remember the person who died. You can find it here .

Claire   February 3, 2015 at 12:04 am Reply

Being Motherless:

I’ve journeyed all of my first’s (the first year of Xmas & New Year, Mother’s Day, special events, anniversaries, birthdays, etc. following a death). The support of family and close friends has been phenomenal. Despite it all, as I approach the first anniversary, I am feeling lost as to how I will remember, honor, and celebrate 365 days without my Mother. So here I am. I don’t feel like I have crossed a finish line or won any kind of trophy, and I certainly don’t feel like I have achieved any sort of closure. I definitely don’t feel as though time has healed anything, because all that I feel time has done. I still carry my grief with me. It is a part of me now. My grief is made of irreparable loss, of pain, of memories flashing lights of Red Cross ambulance (I still got the same effect on me). If I learned anything, it is that no one can be prepared for a major death, and time can’t fix everything. All time does is allow you to find a way to accommodate grief, like a sudden and permanent limp that doesn’t stop you completely but will forever alter the way you move through the world. Now I know why you always asked me to be strong… because you know that one day I would need the strength to bear your loss. I miss you mom.

Eleanor   February 3, 2015 at 4:16 pm Reply

I’m not sure anyone could have put it any better. Especially your closing thought “Now I know why you always asked me to be strong…because you know that one day I would need the strength to bear your loss”. Closure, time, getting over grief; these are all myths only very few people realize it until they’ve actually experienced the realities for themselves. I’m so sorry for your pain and your grief. My heart goes out to you.

Rhonda   February 3, 2015 at 6:46 pm

I am also motherless. No grandchildren. My mother will have no grandchildren either. It takes a lot of faith in God and daily efforts to become closer to God to seek peace and grace to continue each day. I have a book “Jesus Calling” by Sarah Young. I get up and read it first thing and thank God for what I do have. He has a plan. I know how you feel being motherless. Love, Rhonda

Eleanor   February 3, 2015 at 4:17 pm Reply

Also Claire, have you tried journaling about what you’ve been going through? You have a way with words and I can attest from my own experience that writing can be immensely healing. Just a thought.

Claire   February 3, 2015 at 12:01 am Reply

March 17 will be my mom first death anniversary…Her hospitalization and death has been one of the most painful times in my life. It’s hard not to tear up when I think of Mom. Words cannot express how much she means to me. She taught me so much by witnessing unconditional love, and her beautiful example of enduring strength in suffering. Her faith in God was unshakeable, and her sense of hope undiminishing.

Bailey   January 29, 2015 at 7:21 pm Reply

It’s been 7 months since my brother passed away. My 3 year old daughter and his 3 year old son. Love to look at his pictures and argue about who he is my daughter says that’s my uncle and my nephew says that my daddy lol. My husband and I are in the processing of buying a bigger home so we can start having my niece and nephew over to stay. I would love a way of honoring my brother in my home do you have any ideas? He was a big hunter and a sherriffs officer. Thank you

Eleanor   February 3, 2015 at 4:30 pm Reply

I’m sure we could come up with something. An important question first though, do you want to do something that would include the children or is this just something you would like to do/have in general?

Nida   January 21, 2015 at 1:26 pm Reply

Next week, January 29, 2015 will be one year since I lost my father to cancer. He left this world just a couple months away from my high school graduation. Him being there would be my greatest accomplishment ever. He saw me in spirit but I wish he was there in human. My mother has been strong too, being on dialysis three times a week and still raising myself and my 6 year old nephew. Me and my older brother do our best to provide for our mother on whatever she needs and wants. I take her out on road trips, buy her favorite foods and talk about all the memories we had with my dad. Some tears will be shed yes, but if I just keep praying and asking God for guidence and wisdom, I know for a fact he is smiling down on us.

R.I.P. Mr. Clean We Love You Always (September 27, 1939)-(January 29, 2014)

Melissa   January 6, 2015 at 6:28 am Reply

I lost my only child, my 15 and a half year old daughter Kaitlin on 5/20/08, it will be 7 years in the spring. Shortly after Kaitlin died I bought a helium tank an balloons at Wal-Mart, her best friend and I would fill them up and than write letters to her in heaven, sending them up to her. On what would have been her 16th birthday I bought a couple of the big mylar balloons took a sharpie pen and filled them front and back and let them go, letters to heaven, to my girl who I had so many things I still wanted to say to her, so I did, and still do. Every birthday and on the day she went home to God I send my precious angel letters to heaven and I figure she floats around up there reading them knowing that she still is and always be the best part of my life, always and forever my Kaitlin Lee.

Eleanor   January 6, 2015 at 12:17 pm Reply

Thank you for sharing this Melissa. That’s a beautiful way to honor and remember your daughter.

Laura   December 25, 2014 at 4:22 pm Reply

I just stumbled on this blog, and it really could not have come at a better time. I love the balloon release idea and I may just invite some close friends over to reminisce about my angel. I bought a gold urn necklace (memorialurnjewelry.com) a few months ago, and knowing that I hold her close to my heart is very comforting. Thanks for the support and the shared experiences.

Sarah   December 8, 2014 at 1:06 pm Reply

Its almost a year since I lost my Mom and I am still heavily greiving. You dont just lose a person. You lose everything you had together and everything you were suppose to have. The hardest part is that my daughter, who adored her Grandma, was only two years and a few months old. And I am also dealing with the reasons why she was sick in the first place. My Mother deserves to be memorialized in a great meaningful way. Which is how I ended up on this site. Im thinking a candle vigil would be really nice along with some words about her. Her story should be told. Anyway, thankyou for putting the effort and time in trying to help others cope.

Jonathan   December 2, 2014 at 11:19 am Reply

I really love a lot of the suggestions. Today is the one anniversary since my mom passed on December 2, 2013. I’m definitely going to use some of these ideas. Seeing this post and responses makes feel less alone. I was my mom’s only child, so seeing this makes me feel like there are other people that understand what I’m going through.

Skylar   December 1, 2014 at 6:50 pm Reply

Tomorrow is my moms birthday. I have to go to work all day and be strong, when all I feel like I need to do is go back to my hometown and “talk with her” in my head. My husband is working all day. My father isn’t flying home until 1030. I am fearing being alone. Hoping that writing it down on an online forum can make it all go away.

You are all wonderful and blessed people. <3

libby   November 17, 2014 at 4:20 am Reply

At these times I picture myself with a bottle of pills, lilo & falling into sleep by her grave.

Eleanor   November 17, 2014 at 9:52 am Reply

I don’t know you or the circumstances of your loss, but I understand your pain is deep. First of all I must ask you if you are having thoughts of giving up, or if you feel like there is no reason to live, to please seek immediate help. If you have a counselor or therapist call them right away, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK, or you can even walk into your local ER.

Honestly, I understand your statement because I have heard many grievers say after their loved one died that they just didn’t care about anything anymore. When your in such deep pain it is difficult to see a reason to live; but I promise you this deep deep pain will pass and the same grievers who have said they once felt such desperate despair also say that after making it through the darkness things did become easier.

I know these times, the anniversaries and the holidays, are the times when it seems like things couldn’t possibly get any worse. But we really need you to get through these days because, as I think many grievers who’ve felt similar to you might even attest, someday you will feel okay. It will never be the same and you will always grieve, but year by year these anniversaries become easier to handle and hopefully in time those memories that are so extremely painful right now might bring you some comfort and help you to continue your relationship with Lilo.

Please Libby, again don’t give up and if you feel like you might harm yourself, talk to someone. We are always here to do what we can to help locate resources in your local community. Please reach out to us if you need assistance.

Sincerely, Eleanor

nora cerna   November 14, 2014 at 12:10 am Reply

2013-Was the happiest time and the saddest time if my life on, May 16 I got married to my wonderful husband Miguel and on December 6 my my wonderful mommy Shirley died I am grateful I have the wonderful Lord in my life and my mom did its coming upon her 1st year aanniversary of going to be with the Lord I will do some of these things and I want to say everytime we do something our loved one taught us they are there everytime we hear their voices or see their pictures they are there with us may God bless us all with better tomorrows God bless nora cerna♡♡♡♥♥♥♥

Maria   November 11, 2014 at 1:41 pm Reply

Set the table for your loved one and let them have dinner with you 🙂

Jake   November 9, 2014 at 10:49 pm Reply

These suggestions really helped out on the anniversary do my grandfathers passing; he passed on October 28, 2013. On the one year anniversary I did what we always used to do, go to dunkin donuts where I felt like he was right there with me. After my best friend and I went to a hockey game(where we saved a spot for him). This site is so helpful I just wanted to say thank you

Jack   November 1, 2014 at 7:34 pm Reply

Wow Eleanor thank you for this blog. I stumbled on to it while being undecided about visiting my friends grave on his birthday or anniversary. He pasted away to suicide this past summer which it still hasnt unbelievable to me. And even tho we weren’t as close as I wished we could be it was so hard watching his family and friends break down one by one and seeing his little brother just holding it all in trying to be strong. I dont think any one knew what was going on and I miss him like a dear brother. I plan on using some of ur ideas like the candle and flowers. Thank you again

Nina   October 21, 2014 at 10:59 pm Reply

Tomorrow is my husband’s birthday. We are having a birthday party for him at his favorite ice cream parlor. On the anniversary of his death, my grandchildren come over to my house. We do a candlelight ceremony and then release balloons with notes to him. Their other grandmother passed away a year later within 4 days of my husband’s passing so I always get them balloons to send to her also.

Eileen   October 21, 2014 at 12:04 am Reply

When the Anniv. Of my husbands first date came. Instead of staying stuck I had a stone bench built outside the Boys and GIRLS Club. One my husband attended as a boy. I also had a party and raised money for the next three years for a local fund given to patients undergoing, radiation and chemo treatments in their battle against this cancer. This past year ,Oct 14,2014, hurt so much more. Maybe it is just becoming more real, and permanent ? A bigger party scheduled for same fund for year 5!

Pam Proctor   October 20, 2014 at 8:02 pm Reply

https://joschremp.blogspot.com/search?updated-min=2014-01-01T00:00:00-08:00&updated-max=2015-01-01T00:00:00-08:00&max-results=1 We started a blog as soon after the death of my mom as we could. My daughter actually started it. It is a great read if I do say so myself! We have not added much to it at all, I feel that there are things that could be added now though. We are coming up on the one year anniversary. Loved your ideas, we had done a lot of them already, but there are a lot of great thing there. Thanx for the blog posting!!!

Kathy Hayes   October 20, 2014 at 5:29 pm Reply

Just last week was the first anniversary of the loss of one of my longest dearest friends, and next February will be the first anniversary of my daughters accident and death. For my friend, I spent the day remembering him. For my daughter, I’ll do the same and some of your suggestions here. Thank you for these, I like to plan ahead, I will be getting my first tattoo (and probably only) that day. My daughter loved Halloween and in this year of ‘firsts’ I find myself dreading certain days that were special for her. I’m finding that diving in with an open heart is my path for grieving, and will be going to a party in a great costume, to honor her love of the day. I appreciate some of the other ideas that readers have posted as well. Thank you!

Eleanor   November 7, 2014 at 2:05 pm Reply

Sorry I’m just now responding to this. What will your tattoo be???

Karen   September 29, 2014 at 9:36 pm Reply

I lost both my parent’s two month’s apart. September 13th my mom November 14th my dad. I dealt with my grief this way everytime i would start to feel the pain, I’d go buy flower’s- angel’s things I new they liked. An i’d place them on there grave. I put a small white pickett fence. An I even hung a birdfeeder my mom loved to watch the bird’s. It helped tremendously for me. An as time goes by I can stand back and say What a beautiful resting place. A big cross stands on my dad side there grave is marked with solar light’s. So whenever i come home at night as I drive by I always say goodnight.

Andi   September 29, 2014 at 6:07 pm Reply

Thank you so much for this blog/site. The list of ideas are fantastic, I will certainly be picking some to help me through, I am finding myself in floods of grief at the thought of getting through tomorrow 30th September, its 10 years since loosing mum. This anniversary seems more difficult. I feel guilty at all the achievements and things we have done and she has not been here with us to see for herself. 10 years have flown by I cant believe we are at this landmark so soon. God bless you dearest mum love you always xxx

Karen   September 16, 2014 at 1:54 am Reply

Thank you very much for this list. The first anniversary of my mother’s passing is coming up and I’m not sure what to do – but I feel I need to do something. My dad and I are still struggling with her loss so it’s going to be a really tough day. It’s hard to believe a year has gone by as it feels like just the other day we were by her bed in hospital. Thanks very much for your help x

Eleanor   September 16, 2014 at 12:33 pm Reply

Karen, I’m sorry about your mother’s death. As painful as that first year is, I know even at the end of it you feel like it was just yesterday she was here. If you aren’t feeling up for anything big, sometimes the smallest things can feel nice. Let us know how it goes.

Krystal   September 14, 2014 at 12:26 pm Reply

Hi Eleanor,

The one year anniversary of my mom’s death is coming up in 2 days, and I’m dreading it. It’s been looming since September began. My mom was 59, and she died from cancer. My mom was a 19-year cancer survivor but eventually her body could not fight anymore, even though her mind was fighting cancer until the very end. Thank you for your suggestions as to what to do on this day. I’m not sure yet what I will do but I think it will involve a lot of crying and alone time. I will visit her gravesite for sure. The real reason why I decided to leave a response, is because my mom’s name is Evelyn too and I saw Renee’s response and felt the same way as her – that it is not a common name and it seemed strange at first to see her name written in big letters on your blog. It is a beautiful name. I think it’s beautiful that you named your daughter after her. When I have children, I want my first-born girl to be named after her as well. Thank you for your help and support through your blog.

Eleanor   September 16, 2014 at 1:18 pm Reply

I am thinking of you and your family today. I am sorry about your mother’s death. I hate cancer. As twisted as it may sound, I do feel a sort of kinship to girls grieving for mothers named Evelyn. That sounded really weird, but it’s true. Take care of yourself today.

Rhonda   September 13, 2014 at 12:34 pm Reply

Mon would be my son’s birthday had he not gone to be with God last Oct.2013. First one. I beg for all the prayers I can get. He died in his sleep of a heart condition we knew nothing about. I am thankful for the times I had with him, but for some reason, I am having a hard time today. Grief has become me today as I sit in my pj’s and hope the day ends so Mon can come and go. Thanks for listening.

Stitchy_Doll   September 5, 2014 at 9:56 pm Reply

Thanks for the interesting read. A year ago today my Uncle Pete passed away, he had aggressive brain cancer. He was a man of good manners, fantastic music taste, and most of all a great sense of humor. He left behind three young daughters, and my Aunt. We all to this day question why, such a beautiful loving person deserved this. It’s been a hard journey for all involved. But I believe he is still lingering spiritually. May he rest in peace.

Eleanor   September 5, 2014 at 10:53 pm Reply

I’m sorry about the death of your uncle. He sounds like he was a fun guy to be around and it definitely sounds like he’s still with you and the rest of his family in memory and spirit.

Marilyn   August 18, 2014 at 9:56 pm Reply

I’m glad I found this site. My dear nephew Jason was killed Aug. 28, 2013 at around 5:30 am , shot several times in the back, one bullet went up the back of his vest hit his aorta, he died just after returning fire as he went down, saving the lives of his team. His mother and father ( my brother) are broken. I feel their pain….your ideas will help them and me, I live in another state…I will place a thin blue line flag on my house and store in town, in his memory and honor. God Bless all the loved ones who suffer the loss of a loved one.

Stephanie   August 9, 2014 at 11:13 am Reply

I stumbled upon your page while looking for ideas of how to celebrate the anniversary of my dad’s passing. This Monday will be one year since he left his body after a long and painful fight to stay alive. I dread that Monday may become a sad day for me where I’ll just want to hide away from everything. I realized last night that wouldn’t be fair to my kids and it’s certainly not how my dad would want me to spend the day. Trying to find ways to remember him with thoughts of happiness without letting the pain of missing him over come me.

Nikki   August 7, 2014 at 1:41 am Reply

Tomorrow will be one year since my sister has passed away. I keep hearing “it gets easier” but when? I still have so many unanswered questions about her death I feel like I can’t move on. My family wants to celebrate tomorrow and not be depressed because my sister wouldn’t have wanted that, but how do you celebrate at a time like this? I just want to curl up in a ball and hide under my blankets and cry!

Karen   July 26, 2014 at 11:51 pm Reply

I lost both my parents last year, they died 5 weeks, to the day, apart. Today is one year since my mother passed away from colon cancer and I still can’t believe she’s gone. I hope that next year I’ll be able to do something more meaningful but this year I had dinner with friends. I don’t feel strong enough to do things that remind me of my parents. I was in a deep depression for 9 months and just recently starting to feel normal again. To make this anniversary worse, I was supposed to cook dinner with my boyfriend of 6 years but he decided he would rather have beers with a friend. He didn’t even bother to tell me…..I waited for him for an hour and 45 minutes before he finally called. When I cried on the phone he said I “love drama” and I was ” making a big deal out of nothing”. Thank God for my friends, they stepped in when I needed them. My advice to anyone would be to surround yourself with those who love and support you. That’s what I plan on doing going forward.

Heidi   July 2, 2014 at 5:40 pm Reply

My husband Chas died 1 year ago today of bone cancer at home. It was 3:40 pm when he finally was lifted from a very hard death….I am trying to shake it off today. I find myself reliving every part of it. I read all the above comments with great gratitude for sharing. It is helping as I write this.

Litsa   July 5, 2014 at 11:48 am Reply

Oh Heidi, I am so sorry the anniversary was such a difficult day. I think people often underestimate that losing someone, especially after an illness, is a trauma. With that can come the common experience of reliving the loss and the pain of the illness. We have a lot of resources and ideas on this site for journaling, art and creative expression, etc than may help in processing some of these tough memories and emotions. If you find these do not get easier with time you may want to consider seeing a therapist who specializes in grief and trauma. Glad you found some comfort in the words here- hope you will continue to visit our site!

Bell   June 18, 2014 at 3:36 am Reply

Hello,today is the first year mark of when my boyfriends twin brother passed away. He took his own life, he had mental health problems and we have to believe it was the only way he could find peace. This entry has given me some lovely ideas to help them through. His parents are not good at talking about stuff and our not coping well. I just hope I can be strong for them, I don’t think it hits you how hard the day is going to be until it’s here xx

Denise   June 6, 2014 at 3:14 am Reply

Thank you very much for your article. Today is the one year anniversary of my wonderful mothers passing. I was with her until her very last breath holding her hand. For today I felt I wanted to do something but couldn’t think of what. I found your article as I looked for the connection with others about this confusion of not knowing quite how to handle such a painful “anniversary”. Her birthday is this month too. Your article was comforting.

I have taken the day off work, lit some candles, bought a bouquet of flowers, put on her favorite music and eaten an ice cream for breakfast! (she loved ice cream). I had been doing a little better (i.e. a couple of good days a week) but during these days leading up to the one year a lot of the feelings of disbelief came back and reliving the anxiety of the days preceding her passing. I know there is no way around the pain of a day like today and I wanted to share with others who are also going through this incredibly painful first year.

Thank you for having this blog site.

Autumn   May 15, 2014 at 12:08 pm Reply

Hello. I came across this post while looking to coping devices to help myself with the death- anniversary of my mom. It’s hard to believe its already been a year without her. Mother’s day was sunday and i think some of these helped me too. my mom died a year ago tomorrow. I was 14. I’ve dealt with major depression and suicidal thoughts since then.(i am currently on medication & going to therapy) I just wanted to thank you for writing this. It really helped me. one of hardest things i think about grief is realization. Sometimes there will be days when I come home from school.. And i open the door to my house (even though shes never been at the new house) for some reason i think shes gonna be there. but then it all comes rushing back to me. Like maybe i get great news and ill be SO excited that ill say i cant wait to tell my mom. but my moms not here. These ideas really seem to help. The thing im going to do is write out all my feelings or whatever i want onto paper and then rip it up and put it into a ballon and let it go. thats also a good idea.

Shannon   May 12, 2014 at 1:10 pm Reply

I stumbled across this blog as I try to figure out how to cope with the 1 year anniversary of my father’s sudden death. The anniversary of the last time I saw him, his death, and Father’s Day are all within a two week period. I feel like I have been plugging along and doing alright despite my grief during this past year, but feelings I didn’t realize were there are coming to the surface as I approach this heartbreaking anniversary. I’m just not sure how to get through each day without dissolving in tears multiple times, and my anxiety is sky high.

Bonnie   May 1, 2014 at 9:22 am Reply

Thank you very much for this post and to all those who commented as well. I have learned many good ideas for dealing with the 10 year anniversary of my father’s death, today May 1. Kate, like your father, mine enjoyed being outdoors as well. So I think that will be one of the things I will do, as well as watch an old, black and white, favorite movie of his, and cook his famous (and really yummy!) casserole. I miss you, Dad!!

Eleanor   April 30, 2014 at 9:08 pm Reply

You’re right, crying is good and remembering fondly and experiencing joy is good. I hope you have a peaceful day and good weather for your hike.

Kate   April 30, 2014 at 3:34 pm Reply

Hi everyone,

Hearing your stories is so inspiring to me. My father passed away four years ago tomorrow night. Even though it’s been four years, it’s still very hard. I find myself slacking in school work, not wanting to work and hardly wanting to socialize.

But I can say with each year, it gets better. I slack a little less, talk more and do things to remember him. Usually every year on May 1st &/or 2nd I go on a hike, to a mountain or hilltop because he loved the outdoors. His ashes were spread in a river between two mountains in Montana.

I’ve also gotten tattoos in remembrance of him, on the anniversary. This year, I will be going to the mountain or hilltop and just spend some time with him there.

Thank you all for your comments, remember to do something that brings joy to your anniversary day, even if some tears fall it’s okay.

Litsa   April 22, 2014 at 12:27 am Reply

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your son. I have to say, I have always liked benches. Personally I think there is something so comforting about having a place to sit and feel close to those we’ve lost, and a bench is perfect for that. You can have a plaque engraved and put on the bench, so you could still incorporate words to him. Please let us know what you decide to do.

Eleanor   April 13, 2014 at 12:10 pm Reply

These are all great ideas. I am always a huge fan of a bench, maybe with a special quote or lyric engraved on it. Maybe some other readers have thoughts.

Valinda   April 13, 2014 at 1:10 am Reply

I lost my beautiful son last May 5th to suicide. He was 22, a good kind soul, had earned his Eagle Scout, was about to finish heating and havc school and was hoping to get married soon. I would not still be living if I didn’t have a daughter and husband…who are terribly sad as well.

I’ve only been to his grave once…it’s 50 miles away, but I wanted him to be buried in the family cemetery with his grandparents who loved him so much.

We still have not decided on what we want to do for his grave. He has a small marker, but I want it removed. Still dirt covers his precious place of burial.

I want to do something special…out of the ordinary for hom and am struggling with ideas…..some include a bench, a guitar , a turtle a race car , an eagle….and most importantly something from me, his mom, embracing hotheads headstone with loving words. Can any of you help me refine..polish up these ideas? They all have special meanings.

Jackie   April 12, 2014 at 8:01 am Reply

Hi Eleanor….thank you so much for this article. Today is 24 years since my beloved younger brother’s suicide and I am really struggling. I wonder why I have done better in prior years? Not sure, but I am in alot of pain this morning. I am grateful for your words, though.

Eleanor   April 9, 2014 at 9:04 am Reply

Ahhh my sister-in-law is from Penfield. If your worried about their reactions I think an e-mail might be the way to go. This way they have the time and space to think about it and get back you. Hopefully they will be receptive. Let us know what you end up doing.

Gwen   April 8, 2014 at 8:41 pm Reply

Dear Eleanor,

Thank you so much for your advice and words of encouragement, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it. I like the idea of maybe putting it down in an email or text, since I am sort of a chicken about what my brothers’ reactions might be. I wholeheartedly agree the most important thing is us being together.

I grew up in Penfield, NY. Born and raised in Rochester, NY until I graduated from high school.

Thanks again for your guidance,

Eleanor   April 8, 2014 at 8:54 am Reply

I can relate to being too far from your mothers grave, my mother is buried outside of Syracuse NY and the best I can do is visit her on the rare occasion I visit my sister who still lives there. BTW – where did you grow up in New York? I think the things you have thought of all sound good (Booooo to the Condo association though). I actually think your casino idea sounds great, but understand your reservation about your brothers. If they think this is too celebratory then I think the tree is probably the way to go.

Honestly though the only way to make a plan that works for everyone is to open up the lines of communications,perhaps starting an e-mail chain with everyone included (or even a closed Facebook Group or good old fashioned phone call). Suggest a few ideas but emphasize that your flexible and the most important thing is finding a way for everyone to be together. If your brothers want to stay low key then another idea would be to plan a dinner, maybe with everyone bringing/making one of her favorite dishes or a dish that reminds you of her (even if it’s take out!). You can have people bring photos or memories of her or just set these out on your own.

I have five brothers and sisters so I know how tough it can sometimes be to get on the same page, especially when everyone grieves differently. Let me tell you, I tried to do something the year after my mother died and no one was really with me. They were grieving differently and weren’t open to being open. I was so frustrated at the time but I understand now that I can’t expect others to feel the same way I do. That’s why I think the important thing is emphasizing that you just want to be together, no matter how big or small. I’m guessing just knowing the family was together would put a smile on your mother’s face.

Let us know how it goes. Eleanor

Eleanor   April 7, 2014 at 10:14 pm Reply

I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow. Please don’t worry about focusing on yourself right now. It’s okay, normal, and expected. The important thing is for you to find peace and find ways to incorporate your mother’s memory into your every day life. This is one day of many where you want to honor her and remember her in a positive way, but it is hard and it is emotional and it takes time. You will get there.

Gwen   April 5, 2014 at 10:25 am Reply

I lost my mom as of a year ago on April 24th. She was/is mine and my brothers’ hero. Raising us from young children, on her own when my father passed away. She was the heart of our family and we all feel so broken from the loss. I struggle with how to honor her on the anniversary of her passing. I want to include my brothers (if they choose to join me for the day), I am looking into having a tree planted in a local park. I think that’s more for me. I inquired about planting a tree at her condo complex that she loved, but that was declined but the condo association. My mom enjoyed playing the slot machines, I thought about offering my brothers each a small amount of money so that we all might go gamble at a casino a few hours away on that day. I also thought about an Irish pub in the area because she always loved the Irish music, culture, etc. I worry that they may frown on these ideas because they may consider them to much like a celebration or fun. I know it’s important to honor and celebrate her life and that she would want that for us, but I don’t know how to do it or approach my family with it. I feel like what is most important is that we are together as a family on this day. What makes it a little more difficult is that we did a memorial service at my mom’s church locally but then in the summer we all traveled to our childhood home in upstate NY and did a second service where we buried her ashes with my father. These were her wishes and I was priviledged to honor them. I just feel now like we don’t have as much of a connection being that it isn’t feasible to travel to NY for her anniversary to visit the grave site and we didn’t retain any of her cremains in any of our homes. I am open to any suggestions. As the day gets closer, my heart grows heavier and heavier, a large part of me just wants to curl up and cry all day on that day, but as I am the eldest, I feel I have to find a way that will memorialize my mom in a more positive way and stay strong for my brothers. I already appreciate just having the chance to put this all down into words and welcome any suggestions or advice. Thank you. Gwen

melissa   April 4, 2014 at 11:13 pm Reply

Thank you Eleanor for the advise. I think of her grave site as the last place that I “left her.” She is not there!!!! I don’t know yet, how I am going to deal with this. The next few days are a reminder of how she spent the last few days of her life. I (and my mama) am a God loving and trusting person in him, but my moms death is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. ME, ME , ME…. I feel as if I am making this about me!!!! It is about memorializing my Mama!!!…. I don’t know how to do this!!!

Eleanor   April 4, 2014 at 9:35 pm Reply

If you don’t feel like doing anything ‘celebratory’, that’s okay. You don’t have to make a big production out of the day, I would actually say most don’t. Don’t feel selfish, you have the right to grieve in any way you want. It is very normal to dread this day, the passage of time can sometimes make us feel even more sad because it puts more distance between us and the physical presence of our loved one. I would say go easy on yourself, take your time, but start to try and find some method of coping with these more difficult feelings. Understanding you don’t want to make a big production on the day, perhaps a good way to honor your mother and positive step towards dealing with your grief would be to try and visit your mothers grave site. You could go on your own or together with your father and others who loved your mother, prepare yourself to feel emotional and accept that this is okay. This is just a thought, if you want to keep brainstorming ideas let me know what direction you were hoping to go in on the day.

Nita Gregory   April 4, 2014 at 1:09 am Reply

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your son, I lost my daughter Rachelle on March 23rd 2013 just shy of her 32nd birthday, I just celebrated the first anniversary of her passing, it was hard but I did things that reminded me of her, I donated to the local Humane Society in her name as she loved animals, I did a jigsaw puzzle that she enjoyed doing, I bought a helium balloon wrote her a poem and sent it to her. Her birthday is on April 8th and we will be celebrating at her favorite restaurant and sharing memories of her life. I understand the pain you are feeling the loss of a child is so painful. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

melissa   April 3, 2014 at 11:24 pm Reply

My heart grieves for your loss!! I can’t say I know what you are going through, because I have not lost a child. But I just want to tell you that I too will be grieving on April 8… It is the 1 year anniversary of my so, so, beloved Mama! I will be thinking of you and be keeping you in my prayers. The Lord is with you!

melissa   April 3, 2014 at 11:12 pm Reply

I feel lost! The one year anniversary of my Mama’s going to be with the Lord is on April 8. I don’t know what to do on this day. I am grateful and Thankful to have had her as my mom and in this life, but I don’t know if I am in the celebrating mood to honor her wonderful life. I feel selfish! I am fortunate and thankful to still have my father, who adored and Loved my mama (his wife of over 50 years). But I still am having a hard time facing her death, I haven’t been able to even go to her grave site. I am not crazy… or in denial… I just don’t know how to handle these feelings of lose, and I am having a hard time with the fact that it is going on 1 year. To me, it feels like forever. Please give me advise. Thank you!

Litsa   April 2, 2014 at 9:39 pm Reply

Hey Ariana,

I am so sorry to hear about the death of your great grandma! It depends what kind of thing you want to do. Since you mentioned your outfit, there are limitations of a uniform, but if you want to show off your pink you could consider pink headbands, nail polish, and socks, if that is allowed.

This will sound crazy, but I have found a lot of comfort in baking in memory of people I have loved and lost. Baking my grandmothers cookies, baking my dad’s favorite cake, etc. If there is some food that reminds you of your grandmother you could make it (or, heck, buy it!).

There is a ton of great memorial jewelry that might be another great way to honor your grandmother. If you go on etsy.com you can find a ton of great options and probably have time to have custom options made before April 30th.

You also could do something in her memory. You could volunteer somewhere that your grandmother cared about. If you wanted to do something at school, you could do something in her memory to raise awareness about breast cancer. You could hand out breast cancer candy with information about breast cancer so people know about it. Someone I was very close to died of an overdose. I wanted to do something for overdose awareness day, and also really struggled with what to do. I wrote a post about it, which you can check out here in case there is any inspiration! https://whatsyourgrief.com/putting-good-world-overdose-awareness-day-memorial/

Hope something here was at least a little helpful! If I come up with any other ideas I’ll let you know!

ariana   April 2, 2014 at 7:50 pm Reply

The 1 year anniversary of my great grandma Nana’s death is coming up and I need help! She died from her 3rd time with breast cancer and I want to do something! I attend a uniform school, so I can’t show up on April 30th in a pink outfit! Please help me! Ps-she is not buried yet, she is cremated but her husband was in the navy before he died when I was a baby and she needs to be buried on top of him.

Eleanor   April 2, 2014 at 12:37 pm Reply

I’m so sorry about the death of your son. I imagine you still have so many tough days and the anniversary can be one of the most real and raw no matter how many years have past. You have been through 2 of these anniversaries already, what have you done in the past? What did work and what didn’t? Have you ever tried any specific remembrances on this day? Are you feeling up to something like this this year or are you just trying to make it through? I know nothing can take away the pain of this day, but perhaps we can pinpoint what will bring you the most meaning and comfort.

karen   March 31, 2014 at 7:25 pm Reply

The third anniversary of losing my 15 year old son to suicide is coming up, April 8th and I am having a really hard time having to face this day! I don’t know what to do……… My grief over what happened still haunts me terribly. Any advise on how to cope with this dreadful day Ann or others. Lost mom

Eleanor   March 31, 2014 at 3:50 pm Reply

Thank your counselor for connecting us! I’m sorry about your parents deaths, I can’t image dealing with two sudden losses one right after another. I hope some of the information we have is helpful here and if there is anything specific you ever want us to address, just let us know.

Angela   March 31, 2014 at 2:29 pm Reply

Thank you so much for this! My counselor just told me about this site. April 23 will be 10 years for my Dad, August was 12 for my Mom and i still have problems with their loss everyday!!! My Mom was truly my best friend and we lost her suddenly and i was Daddy’s little girl and he died in a freak accident at work.

Katherine Lawrence   March 25, 2014 at 12:21 pm Reply

Thank you so much for this. I lost my brother little over a year ago and this helped.

Theresa   January 12, 2017 at 8:49 pm Reply

My sister our father pass on her husdand birthday. The problem I’m having is my sister husband has pass also What to do

Renee   March 24, 2014 at 7:42 pm Reply

It’s so not a common name at ALL + this was the 1st time I ever googled 1st year anniversary of mothers death in my life…in such a grief stricken moment + all of a sudden her name is flashing before my eyes on the 1st link I clicked? I wailed crying in such a cathartic way that I felt it was a sure sign of comfort from her. But it didn’t end there. The next morning I checked my Twitter + only one new follow had followed me for that entire day. The name that was flashing before my eyes again was EVY in the companies logo. I was blown away? That’s what everyone called my mother. If there really are ADC’s (after death communications) through electronics as they say; it felt like much more than a coincidence on both fronts. Thanks again.

Eleanor   March 24, 2014 at 5:41 pm Reply

Wow Renee, that does seem like more than a coincidence! Especially because it’s not the most common name. Evelyn was my mother’s name and it is also my eldest daughters, who I was pregnant with when my mom died. I’m sorry about your mother’s death, the one year anniversary is tough.

Anyway, thanks for your comment…that gives me chills as well.

Renee   March 24, 2014 at 5:35 pm Reply

Hello, who was Evelyn? You’re mother? My mom’s one year anniversary is on April 1st, and this past Saturday I was so grief-stricken with missing her that I Googled 1 year anniversary of mothers death + your article was the first one that came up I believe, so I clicked on it. I was astonished to see the name EVELYN in big bold letters half way down the article.

My mothers name was Evelyn, and I was blown away by the mere coincidence of seeing her name flash before me in print that I truly believe it was some sort of sign. Thanks

AC Broughton   March 24, 2014 at 11:08 am Reply

Thank you so much.

Eleanor   March 22, 2014 at 2:45 pm Reply

Our thoughts are with you tomorrow (Sunday). I’m sorry about your mother’s illness and subsequent passing. I am sure you have missed her quite a lot over this last year. It sounds like you have a pretty good plan for the anniversary and I hope the day is one of peace. We’re here for you for as long as you need us; we know, anniversaries, birthday’s, etc are always a big deal.

AC Broughton   March 21, 2014 at 4:10 pm Reply

Thank you for this post and for the community. Sunday is my mom’s birthday (she would have been 70) and April 12 is the one-year anniversary of her death from ALS. This time last year I spent 5 weeks at her home caring for her until she died. We filled the house with daffodils for her birthday because that was her favorite flower, so I have some on the table. On April 12 I plan to have a nice meal of her favorite foods, use her favorite table cloth, look at photos of her and tell stories about her. Someone gave me a Yarhzeit candle so I will light that and say a prayer. I know that these anniversaries are a big deal even though I feel like most people want me to be “over it.” This community really helps to validate that it is a big deal. I appreciate it very much.

Patti   March 11, 2014 at 7:41 pm Reply

Thanks for this post. On St Patrick’s day it will be the one year anniversary of my mother’s death. She was sick for a long time and lived with my family. She died at our home surrounded by her family. I only have 2 brothers left. The eldest died the year before from cancer. The rest of us don’t see each other much-didn’t before. With the 1 year anniversary coming up I’m fighting feelings of grief, loneliness, defeat, no sense of purpose and overwhelming sadness. My hubby wants to take the day off and spend it with me, but I have no idea what I want to do if anything! Thank you for the ideas and none I choose are wrong!

Alayne   March 10, 2014 at 6:31 pm Reply

Thank you! I’ve dealt with my own grief in my own ways, be it good or bad. I guess helpful or not, would be the right way to put it.

I came searching today because an old friend is going to hit the 1 year mark of his wife’s passing tomorrow. I want to try to help him. She was diagnosed with brain cancer shortly after their first and only child was born. He worked full time, took care of her, the house the child…you name it, for about 20 years. That baby just got accepted in to medical school last week!

So, thank you for your help, insight and list. I have a few things now that I will talk about that can hopefully ease him through tomorrow and the future.

Peace and prayers to all.

Nita Gregory   March 10, 2014 at 4:12 pm Reply

My Daughter passed away last year on March 23rd, at the age of 31, her one year anniversary is coming up soon, an I really appreciate the list you have, it has given me some great ideas. She was not only my daughter but my best friend. Thank you!!!

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JM   January 23, 2014 at 8:57 pm Reply

Thank you so much. I appreciate the time that you put into gathering the helpful comments. It is wonderful to have such a great resource available to help transition through the difficult times. Thank you again.

Eleanor   January 23, 2014 at 12:44 pm Reply

So I asked this over on Facebook and got a few good suggestions.

“We have a walk every year…we have shirts that the students can purchase and a bake sale…all money goes into a scholarship for kids who can’t afford to go to Camp in the Fall with our fourth grade class. His family always attends.”

“My son’s first birthday, since his death, passed recently. We had a quiet dinner at home. We wrote notes to him which we taped on helium balloons (1 for each of us). We each held a cupcake w a candle and stood outside in a circle. We sang Happy Birthday then blew out our candles and released our balloons. Not too Eco-friendly, I know, but it worked for us.”

“We all had dinner and as soon as it got dark we released the Japanese floating lanterns. It was out own version of sending candles to heaven.”

This was a really good questions and I think I am going to get started on an actual post addressing this.

Eleanor   January 21, 2014 at 11:22 am Reply

This is a good question. I’m going to think about this for a few and get back to you. In the mean time I’ve also asked our readers over on Facebook for some suggestions to see if anyone has done anything special that turned out well.

JM   January 18, 2014 at 4:44 pm Reply

Do you have any suggestions for new traditions for honoring the anniversary of a child’s death? Specifically to support healthy grief for the siblings?

Debbie   January 12, 2014 at 12:48 pm Reply

Thanks so much! I am off to research – will let you know what I end up with 🙂

Litsa   January 12, 2014 at 11:00 am Reply

Hi Debbie, it is so thoughtful you are trying to find something perfect for the memorial. We have a post on things to send instead of flowers for a funeral, and there may be some helpful ideas there https://whatsyourgrief.com/what-to-send-instead-of-flowers/

On that list is a memorial ‘guestbook’ and I always think something like that is very nice. You could order the one we have listed, or create your own. Each page allows people there to share their favorite memory of the person, a message to their family, etc. If you created one yourself, it could include whatever you want- favorite memory, things her mom taught people that still carry on, etc. This way you could fill out a page, then at the memorial everyone there could take time to fill out a page.

Also, there is a lot of neat memorial jewelry online. Etsy is a great place to look for really unique, customizable options.

Let us know what you end up deciding to do!

Debbie   January 11, 2014 at 8:10 pm Reply

Hi, I am going to a “one year memory gathering” for my best friend’s Mum…my best friend is hosting. We’re not sure what we’ll be doing yet, there will be about 10 people there, a mix of ages. I’d like to do something nice for my friend too, but she already has photo collages, flowers, all the usual stuff…I want to do something to let her know I care, and that I haven’t forgotten her Mum. Any ideas? Thanks 🙂

Eleanor   January 10, 2014 at 2:21 pm Reply

Mary, good idea. I am sorry about your sons death. I hope you and your daughters find comfort in one another on Saturday. Have you come up with an idea of what to incorporate into the day?

Mary   January 9, 2014 at 8:45 am Reply

It will be the first year of my son going to heaven,I have 8daughters we are getting together this Saturday in celebration ,I am trying to think of some thing to are that we can add to every year I his honor

Eleanor   January 5, 2014 at 9:47 am Reply

I’m sorry Kym, it sounds like you’ve been dealing with a lot all on your own. If you don’t have to part with the rest of her belongings, then don’t. It sounds like you’ve given away what you could at this point, and that’s a job well done. I know it can be so frustrating to hear people say over and over – “let me know what I can do” or “I’m here if you need anything”. Sometimes its hard to know exactly what you need and even harder to actually ask. We wrote this post about identifying needs and asking for help that might be helpful -https://whatsyourgrief.com/support-system-superlatives-a-journaling-exercise/ I hope something on our site is helpful.

Eleanor   January 5, 2014 at 9:39 am Reply

I’m so sorry about your uncle. I’m sure his death has been devastating to your family. I do hope some of the suggestions were helpful, but of course your uncle was a special man who will inspire unique ways of being remembered. I hope your memorial service goes well. Let us know if there’s anything more specific we can help with.

Kym   January 5, 2014 at 3:37 am Reply

This information was very helpful, on February 6, 2014 it will be the 2nd Anniversary for my beloved mother. I have no siblings and I have been on an emotional roller coaster. I have shared some of my mother’s belongings with her close friends and donated some to my church. We shared a home together and I can’t seem to depart with the rest Family is not close. I’ve heard, just let me know what I can do and I will be there so many times

Kelsey   January 4, 2014 at 12:01 am Reply

My uncle was recently murdered and it’s been the most terrible experience of my life. I hate having to look for these kinds of ideas but I know that they’ll help. He was such a unique person that I feel some of these do not apply to honoring him to the fullest. Although I have found some to be very helpful and I might just use them at his memorial service next month. Thank you.

Eleanor   December 15, 2013 at 1:31 pm Reply

Chris, I’m so sorry. I think it’s okay to avoid your home for this one day out of the year. Only 10 and 1/2 hours to go!! (if your on the east coast)

chris   December 15, 2013 at 12:40 pm Reply

Todays the day. I am currently out with friends and afraid to go home. I was at home five years again when I got the terrible phone call. Not sure if it is healthy to avoid my home.

Abby   November 24, 2013 at 9:29 am Reply

Thank you for this blog. In a couple of days its going to be my sons first anniversary as an angel in Heaven. I feel that i have lost him few days ago. The pain is unbearable. I am making a gathering to all his friends, teachers and everyone he touched with his warm smile and loving kind heart.

I planned to sell cookies ( to donate to Dana-Farber Cancer Institute, where he was treated. Also there will be tattooing, but i don’t know what other things I can do.

I will get helium balloons in red, and release them at the time he became an angel.

I will also try to play a slide show of him. His friends will colour rocks and put them around the tree his school planted by his name. the tree is in the school play ground.

please let me know if you have anymore ideas to make it a special event.

Eleanor   October 29, 2013 at 11:04 am Reply

Louisa, I’m so ridiculously glad do hear you’ve found a few of our suggestions helpful. It sounds like bull (but it’s not!) Litsa and I truly feel validated knowing even one person has found something on this blog beneficial. Thank you so much for forwarding to others and thanks for coming back.

Eleanor   October 29, 2013 at 11:02 am Reply

Oh Ann, I’m so sorry about your son’s death. When is the anniversary of his passing? Come back and ask for an ideas reminder, we’ll make sure to come up with some good ones!

Emily   January 8, 2017 at 7:15 pm Reply

It’s nice to know other parents dealing with the same thing I just found this blog today, the anniversary of my daughters death January 8th and I understand that pain of losing a child. Just reading these comments has given me much comfort today 🙂 thank you ❤️

Eleanor   October 29, 2013 at 10:59 am Reply

That is SO sweet of your husband. How thoughtful! Plus 10 points for him. Thank you for your condolences, after 7 years I’ve realized I’ll never stop grieving for my mother but now it takes the shape of things like you said – watching certain movies, laughing, joking.

Silvie Argiro Pantsios   November 24, 2016 at 1:57 am Reply

Today marked 10 years since my mom passed, November 23rd. Her name was also Evelyn! I just feel like I had to comment, your post definitely helped.

Celeste   October 28, 2013 at 6:08 pm Reply

Today is my grandmother’s birthday, and I didn’t even realize that I was doing what we lovingly refer to as “channelling Gradndma” last night. I spent some time rearranging furniture and organizing my space, which is something she would always do, I think as a way of clearing her mind. When I brought this up to my husband, he suggested that maybe we turn this into an actual tradition, since it seems to be something that I just naturally do anyway. What a thoughtful thing for him to suggest! Being able to celebrate one of her idiosyncracies is exactly what I needed.

My sister and I watch certain movies on our mom’s remembrance days. And we gossip. It helps us feel closer to her. 😉

Also, I am so sorry about your mom’s passing. I hope you are doing well and are surrounded by wonderfully supportive people.

Ann Mullen   October 28, 2013 at 12:54 pm Reply

I have forgotten those kinds of days, too. But I have forgotten birthdays etc since I was a kid. I have had a hard time dealing with the suicide of my son 11 years ago. I appreciate the ideas, but by next year, I’m afraid I will have forgotten them, too.

Terri Mullen Collins   April 20, 2016 at 9:40 pm Reply

I was married to a wonderful man named Donnie Mullen. Died the same way. I’m blessed to have his 2 amazing sons, Stephen and Bruce Mullen.

Marzelle   July 21, 2016 at 9:07 am Reply

Hi Ann Mullen,

I too lost my mom to suicide now 17 years ago yesterday and the pain and the trauma comes back to haunt me every year, so none of these suggestions will work for me. Its a deep sadness no one can explain.

Louisa Hill   October 28, 2013 at 12:38 pm Reply

Thank you so much for this list. It’s been two years since my husband has been gone. So glad I discovered your blog. I’ve used most of your suggestions for anniversaries, birthdays, holidays, Memorial Day and Veteran’s Day and for just any day that I choose. All of the suggestions have really helped me to get through each day. I always forward your blog to others who are grieving or helping those who are grieving. Thank you.

James   February 10, 2016 at 11:29 pm Reply

Thank you so very much and I sorry to hear about your lose. In about a half hour it will mark the first year without my mother. Thank you.

rebecca   February 26, 2016 at 11:12 am

I just happened to this site, my mom’s 1yr is 3/1 and my dad isn’t good company. yalls comments made me not feel alone.

Agnes Kozlowski   May 30, 2016 at 4:20 pm

Tomorrow will mark one year since my Mother died. This blog helped me to plan for Mom tomorrow. Thank you

Shera   September 22, 2016 at 2:33 am

Thanks for this post, it makes me feel so much less alone. 9/28 marks a year that my birth mother has been gone. I don’t know how I’m going to feel or be on that day. But good to know Im not alone.

Aibon   February 8, 2017 at 11:50 pm Reply

My older brother killed himself two years ago today and my life has been ruined since. Never gets easier only more painful Thank you

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• 28th Foundation Anniversary Message

GLIMPSES OF THE PAST

Looking back to the year 1994. It all started not just as a dream but as a “holy burden” of a heart to provide basic and quality education and committed service, regardless of economic status in life, deserves a quality education.” For many are the plans in man’s heart; but it is the Lord’s purpose that will prevail” Proverbs 19:21. Thus, the Harrell Horne Learning Center came into reality, starting in a small model 36 two-bedroom whose location is just a stone's throw from the main thoroughfare of the Bahayang Pag-Asa subdivision known as Avenida Rizal. It is in this modest location where the vision became a reality. It is where suffering, disappointments become bearable. Wherein this vision, where hope generates, endurance, determination coupled with audacious, full of conviction, that whatever the heart calls it will happen and become a reality, where sight is the function of the eyes, but vision is the function of the heart, no matter what challenges!

Amidst challenges, The Harrell Horne Integrated School, from a small classroom slowly transformed having the hardest climb, with its peaks and valleys along the journey of uncertainties. The imagination of having a building to house the growing number of students and the clamor of parents served as the anchor to move on and dream the impossible. In the year 1998, the first academic four-storey building was erected and followed by the preschool building on a separate compound. A dream come true to build a haven for little children to have their place where they freely moved around. In 2006 another building was erected and the first admin building to house all the business offices and laboratories. Harrell Horne had set a milestone within her ten years of existence and slowly became a school of preference not only in the Bacoor area but also in the nearby municipalities. With the desire to provide quality education without sacrificing quality for the sake of cost, Harrell Horne braved the challenge of putting up a branch in Hinigaran, Negros Occidental in the year 2016, having given a great deal of thought that managing a school in a distant place posed a challenge where quality education provided in Cavite must also be provided in the branch.

HHIS dynamism became a trendsetter of a 21st century learning in the area having modest buildings and facilities became a byword in one year as a school where students were not only smart but equally excellent as well. The virtue of patience and determination made Harrell Horne carve a name as the Home of Champions both in the Cavite and Hinigaran branch. It was inspired by Prof. Herman Harrell Horne's philosophy, as an idealist and a great teacher, that man’s total formation cannot be achieved without constant reference to Christ and the gospel spirit of love, service, and wisdom. The first ten years of the Harrellian Education was indeed a feat, achieved its peaks where the upward graph manifesting what God has given birth for a purpose as He planned, where the substance of things hope to accomplish, the evidence of things we can see even when others cannot. With the strong support of our parents, the commitment and hard work of the entire management and staff, and with God as our fortress and refuge when the sailing is rough, the talents, skills, and abilities of our students have been recognized, allowing them to bring out their talents and abilities making them confident individuals, making them shine and their total well-being are developed.

The partnership with our parents as our co-partners is another factor in the fulfillment of our vision and mission. One of the greatest achievements of Harrell Horne Integrated School was in the year 2006, when Hope in Motion was conceived and selected students were allowed to travel to Singapore and America as ministry ambassadors of youth, partnering with "Church Strengthening Ministry" based in Houston and Oklahoma, Texas. Students had the opportunity to showcase their talents in singing and acting before different youth centers, care facilities, and event halls, where fellow Filipinos in the US were delighted to see Filipino children perform. It was a remarkable experience, and the full support of their parents is laudable. It was a lifetime experience for them to attend the biggest camp ever at Falls Creek in Oklahoma, where ten thousand youth and children attended and wowed them as they performed on stage.

Since its foundation up to the present HHIS amidst challenges, steadfastly an overcomer, a steadfast commitment, true to her mission and vision, the resilient spirit, the strong belief that values and character are the strong foundation to attain success. The victories in the various competitions in both academic or sports and other curricular activities are a manifestation that Harrellian lives are destined to bring God’s glory. The formation and trainings given to teachers for professional and spiritual development as well as the yearly parenting development program for parents and the regular spiritual formation of students both on their mental health and spiritual nurturing are the very core and heart of Harrellian education.

Harrell Horne Integrated School's 27th anniversary is a test of courage on how to face challenges and crises. The coronavirus shattered dreams and plans of many. The pandemic became the boulder in the road for development; various schools closed down, companies struggled, and other organizations globally, and HHIS is not exempted. To quote Martin Luther King” If you can’t fly then run, If you cannot run, then walk, If you can’t walk, then crawl, but by all means, keep moving.

As the year 2021 started, Cavite province and Batangas were devastated by the sudden eruption of Taal volcano; classes had been halted for a month. Harrell Horne took part in the relief effort to reach out to those victims of Taal. But not long after classes resumed, the world was shocked by the great lockdown and pandemic. The spirit of resilience and flexibility made us survive for we walk by faith and not by sight.

We are celebrating our 28th founding anniversary with high hopes that we will SOAR in the fulfillment and steadfast covenant to our Creator and all our stakeholders. We will strengthen our faith, not grow weary. We will overcome difficulties and challenges, for God did not give us the spirit of fear but courage to move on. We will appreciate all the blessings, the talents, and abilities of our students and our teachers for us to shine and rise for God’s glory.

_____________

School Director's Message during the Celebration of the  28th Foundation Anniversary  of Harrell Horne Integrated School

His love never fails and true to His promise in Jeremiah 29:11 “ For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a bright future.To all our parents who journey with us for more than a decade my sincere gratitude for believing and trusting Harrell Horne for the Basic Education of your children. To all our hardworking teachers and Staff, your committed service to the School is highly appreciated and valued.

To all students and Harrell Horne Alumni, the school take so much Pride of your achievement not only in your chosen career but as a person who are grateful to God who is the giver of everything. Indeed your creed become alive of the lives you are having and how you put in mind the lessons you’ve learned not only in your academics but the true value of a person of worth.

The pandemic and the crisis we’ve been through proves that Harrellians are like eagles, courageous to face challenges and able to adjust and be flexible in every situation and the strength to move on and look forward to what is ahead. Your loyalty to God and acknowledge that your existence is a grace from HIM. Your dedication to your family and to your studies. Our school like the eagle soars and have the commitment that what we have started will bring the fulfilment of your dreams and our vision mission in every lives of every Harrellian students.This pandemic simply manifest how we glide the storms of life and adjust ourselves to all the difficulties we have encountered. Thus, our 28th Foundation anniversary is our voice that we as Harrellians don’t know the word defeat. Every mistakes we made is an opportunity for learning to start again. Harrellians, we will SOAR, we will Strengthened our faith , We will overcome difficulties, We will appreciate all the blessings big and small and acknowledge ones talents and abilities for God’s glory! We will RISE and Shine and will not grow weary because our God is our fortress and refuge.Dear parents, students friends as we journey to our 28th year of existence let us all be forward looking that everything will come to pass and we will all be refreshed and spread our wings in the fulfilment of our vision to fly high and reach our every dreams .God bless us all and Harrell Horne Integrated School! Mabuhay!

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Latest Articles

• Triumph and Gratitude: Celebrating Excellence at Herman Harrell Horne School
• HHIS Joins Brigada Eskwela Kick-off for SY 2022-2023
• Literary Festival 2021
• HHIS Christmas Party 2020

Director's Corner

• Message to the Graduates of School Year 2020-2021
• Advent Message 2020

Announcements

• SY 2023-2024: Years of Innovation and Possibilities
• HHIS 29th Anniversary Foundation
• Admission Procedure for School Year 2022-2023
• 28 Years of Harrellian Quality Education
• Admission Procedure SY 2021-2022

Parents' Testimonials

• Parent's Testimonial (Mr. & Mrs. Ornedo)
• Parents' Testimonial (Mr. and Mrs. George Lebosada)
• Parent Testimonial (Lyndee Amor Agmata)
• Parent Testimonial (Mr. & Mrs. Dacuycuy)
• Parent Testimonial (Mrs. Agmata)
• Parent Testimonial (Mr. and Mrs. Estrellita Tan Gallito)
• Parent Testimonial (Mr. & Mrs. Steve Rina Rey)
• Parent Testimonial (Mr. & Mrs. Picar)
• Parents Testimonies (Engr.Bogart And Hermie Baguilat)

• Anniversary Gift Lists
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• 7th Anniversary (Copper & Wool)
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• 9th Anniversary (Pottery & Leather)
• 10th Anniversary (Tin)
• 11th Anniversary - 14th Anniversary
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• 16th Anniversary - 19th Anniversary
• 20th Anniversary (China)
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• 23rd Anniversary (Silver Plated)
• 24th Anniversary (Musical Instruments)
• 25th Anniversary (Silver)
• 26th Anniversary (Pictures)
• 30th Anniversary (Pearl)
• 33rd Anniversary (Amethyst)
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• 50th Anniversary (Gold)
• 55th Anniversary (Emerald)
• 60th Anniversary (Diamonds)
• 65th Anniversary (Diamonds)
• 75th Anniversary (Diamond)
• Anniversary Gifts Store
• Anniversary Cards
• Free Printables
• Invitations
• Anniversary Party
• Vow Renewal Ideas

Free Anniversary Speeches

If your Anniversary Party is coming soon …

And you have been given the great honor of saying a few words

… then we have just the help you need.

• Lots of free printable Anniversary Speeches that you can customize
• And also help to structure you own speech to wow your guests.
• Plus Anniversary Speech Samples that you can personalize

Anniversary Speech Structure

Just like every great story your speech needs a

• middle 
• and an end.

Anniversary Speech Introduction

Your beginning or introduction will need to grab your guests attention.

This could in the way of a question ...

What is love?

What makes a Happy Marriage?

Where have the last … years gone?

Or it could be in the way of a quote

They say “Time flies when you are having fun” and that could not be truer for the past … years that I have spent as … husband (or wife)

“If I know what love is, it is because of you” Herman Hesse

You could paraphrase that quote to be more personal and start with If I know what love is, it is because of ….., I have loved him with all my heart since the day I met him at…

Or you could tell a joke, just be mindful of your audience!

Or start by telling everyone how you met.

Anniversary Speech Samples

Your middle is the main part of your speech

And it needs to lead on from your introduction.

If you started with a question, look at answering it.

What is love? According to Websters dictionary Love is a feeling of strong or constant affection for a person  and I know that I have been lucky to love …. for … years.

Then go on to explain why you love them – their kindness, silliness or whatever it is. Share a story about when you knew you loved them or a time when they were amazing.

What makes a Happy Marriage? If you ever need an answer to that question just take a look at Mom and Dad. The little looks they give each other, the way they support each other through everything that life throws at them and how much they enjoy each other’s company. And then go on to share a story about them both.

You can end with a quote…

And to quote Robert Browning “Grow old with me, the best is yet to be”

“Real love stories never have endings” and I look forward to being in love with you for eternity.

Or end with a thank you…

I would like to end with a thank you to Mom and Dad for being such a great example and for the love and help they have given all of us.

Don’t forget to end with a toast!

I would like to thank … for putting up with me and my snoring for the past … years. You are my love, my rock and I am your number 1 fan.

Perfect Your Anniversary Speech

To give the best anniversary speech you will need to

• Practise – lots!
• Perfect until you have nailed it.

Timing with all speeches is so important and one way to make sure you have yours spot on is to either record yourself, time yourself and video yourself. The camera on your mobile will be fine for this.

You can then play it back and either add extra bits to your speech or take things out.

Also, see if you can say your speech to a few people so you can check if your jokes work and also get feedback from them.

Free Printable Anniversary Speeches

Below you will find speech samples which you can use for your Anniversary.

• For your Wife or Girlfriend
• For your Husband or Boyfriend
• For your Parents and Grandparents
• 50th Anniversary Speeches
• And for your friends

In each sample there are gaps for you to add your own names and also spaces for you to tell your own stories and customize them for you.

Wedding Anniversary Speech Samples

Anniversary speech for your wife or girlfriend.

Thank you to all of you for being with us today to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary, it means so much to both of us that you have been part of our lives and we love each and every one of you.

And for me, I need to say an even bigger thank you, to one very important lady… my wife….

For the past 25 years you have been my rock, my inspiration, you have lifted me through the bad times and cheered me on to great ones.

You are my one true love

And I am very lucky.

I won the lottery the day I met you and knew from the moment I saw you at … that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you.

But how do you get a great woman like ….. to take notice of a kind of geeky/scruffy/sporty guy.

I would love to say it was through my charm, my looks and great wit.

But the truth is it was more my friend ….

*Tell story of how you met

Thank you …. For introducing us and vouching for me! We all need friends like that in our lives.

-           Toast to friend who introduced you

From then till now we have been blessed with 5 great children, 6 hamsters and have lived surrounded by family and friends.

Through that time my love for …….. has grown.

I am in awe of her ability to make a home where ever we live.

Her incredible tapestry, painting, writing or swing at golf. (Choose your wife’s hobby)

And her love of …….

She is an incredible woman and I would like to raise a toast to ……. Thank you.

Anniversary Speech For Your Husband or Boyfriend

A massive thank you to everyone for coming tonight to celebrate our 40th Anniversary, thank you for being part of our lives, you make ours richer by being you and we hope in some way we add to yours.

But wow, 40 years that’s quite a time and it has gone in a flash.

And all of this would not have been possible if 40 years ago I hadn’t married …… and if he hadn’t been such an easy man to love.

Although neither of us are perfect, we have our own strange little ways which I won’t be sharing with you tonight!

He is without doubt my perfect husband.

He is perfect for me, which reminds me of a quote I heard years ago…

A Perfect Marriage Is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on Each Other

Thank you ….. for being you

For laughing with me and at me. From the time when …. (add a fun story of the two of you)

For being a great dad to …. And ……

(add a sweet story showing him as a great dad)

And for being a perfect husband for me.

Looking forward to our next adventures.

I would like to raise a toast to ….. Happy Anniversary my love.

Anniversary Speech For Parents and Grandparents

Good evening everyone, I am ……. and honored to be with you all this evening and proud to be the son/daughter of …….. and ……….

This evening we celebrate their Golden Anniversary, 50 years of being Mr and Mrs

And wow what an amazing 50 years it has been.

They met … (tell the story – maybe quote their friends who were there at the time)

And luckily for me they fell in love and were married on …..

They have supported each other through …. (tell story of them helping each other)

And have enjoyed (share stories of hobbies, vacations and fun times they have both enjoyed)

I am lucky to have such great parents, they have shown me over the years what love is and have been selfless in their love for me and my brothers and sisters.

List why they are a great couple

They are a great example of what a strong and Happy Marriage is.

Thank you and raise a toast to your parents.

Anniversary Speech For Friends

Good evening everyone, I am …………. I have known ……….. and …………… for . years and feel that gives me an insight in to how they have such a Happy marriage.

For those of you that don’t know …….. and …………. met on (date) at (place) where ……… was looking as beautiful as she does this evening and …….. was looking his usual charming self.

Quote from husband about when they first met

Quote from wife about when they first met

As you can see they were both thinking the same thing from that first moment. (this can be said more as a joke if the quotes don’t say the same thing)

They are the perfect match.

 They both love ……

And enjoy spending time together and with their family.

Their children are here this evening and I know that they couldn’t be prouder of the people you have grown in to.

And I am proud to have them as friends.

They have shown me over the years what a great marriage is and tonight I would like us all to raise a toast to …. And wish them a very Happy Anniversary.

Short Anniversary Speech Ideas

If you would prefer to give a short Anniversary speech then that is perfectly fine, it really doesn't have to be a long-winding journey through all the years of marriage.

Instead a short and punchy speech that covers all the essentials works really well. Plus your guests may appreciate it too!

As with all speeches lets stick with the plan

• A beginning - this is the why we are here today
• A middle - a description of the best couple in all the world
• The end - let's all raise our glasses and join together to wish Jo and Sam a very Happy Anniversary.

Let's start by getting everyone's attention, you could clap, ding your glass, ring a bell or set off a horn.

Next explain that you want to say a few words.

Hi everyone, you will be pleased to know that I won't take up much of your time today *pause for your guests to cheer* but I wanted to thank you all for joining us today to celebrate Jo and Sam's 20th Anniversary and to say a few words.  

The past twenty years has flown by and through that time they have shown us how great they are together.

Being the most wonderful parents to .....

And the best friends to each other and to us all.

I am sure you will all agree that they are one of the loveliest couple's and the love that they have together is great to see. 

So please join me in raising a glass and wishing Jo and Sam the happiest Anniversary.

Jo and Sam, followed by everyone joining in the toast.

Anniversary Speeches for Milestone Anniversaries

When it comes to a big Anniversary you may want to do a longer speech or include specific quotes to that particular year.

We have put together some ideas to help you plan

• 25th Anniversary Poems to inspire you
• 50th Anniversary Speech Ideas
• 50th Wedding Anniversary Quotes
• 60th Anniversary Toasts

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Anniversary Party Food Ideas For All Budgets

Anniversary party food is not just about the wedding anniversary cake! Here are lots of anniversary party menu ideas to help feed your guests stress free.

Best Anniversary Party Ideas

Wedding Anniversary party ideas, decorations and party supplies to help your celebrations

Backyard Anniversary Party Ideas: Celebrate in Style

Lots of backyard Anniversary party ideas to suit all budgets and size of backard.

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Funeral Speech Examples for a Heartfelt Eulogy

We hope our funeral speech examples will inspire you to write a heartfelt eulogy to honour your loved one.

Delivering a funeral speech can be a daunting task.  Quite apart from the challenge of speaking in front of people while in a highly charged emotional state, the task of actually writing the funeral speech can be overwhelming. 

We are here to help you tackle this important job especially if you are in a state of shock from the grief of losing your loved one.

Further down the page there are links to example eulogies for all loved ones, friends or colleagues to give you inspiration.

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Guidelines for Writing Funeral Speeches:

First of all, we have put together the following simple guidelines to help you to think of things to say: 

• Speak from the heart and say how you feel about the person
• Describe the person's qualities
• Talk about their career, jobs, hobbies and passions
• Talk about their relationships with family, friends and colleagues
• Mention things that you inherited or learned from them
• Perhaps mention some people who will be at the funeral
• Mention a couple of funny stories if appropriate
• Keep it real and don't be afraid of mentioning their less good points - you don't have to put them on a pedestal
• Thank people for coming to the funeral and for their support

Next, read the following two pages to give you step by step instructions on writing the eulogy and giving the speech:  

'How to write a eulogy'  

'How to give a eulogy' 

Eulogy Sample Speeches

All the following links are sample eulogies written about real people.  The ones for a father were written by myself and my brother when my Dad died.  The one for a mother was written by my mother (founder of this website) about her own Mum.  

Many of the others have been written for us by guest writers about their own lost loved ones.  

We hope they will give you some ideas for writing your own moving tribute.  

Eulogy Examples for a Father

Eulogy for a Father-in-Law

Eulogy for a Mother

Eulogy for a Mother by a Daughter

Eulogy for a Mother in Law

Eulogy for a Husband

Eulogy for a Wife

Eulogy for a Grandmother

Eulogy for a Grandfather

Eulogy for an Aunt

Eulogies for an Uncle

Two Eulogies for a Brother

One More Eulogy for a Brother

Eulogy for a Sister

Eulogy for a Best Friend

A Humorous Eulogy for a Friend

Eulogy for a Mentor

Eulogy for a Friend

Printable Eulogy Templates

Finally, to help you with your task of writing your funeral speech, we have some printable templates as a guide to write eulogies for adults and for children. 

Print them out and then fill in the information and stories for your own departed loved one.  

Free Eulogy Templates

Related Pages: 

Planning a Funeral - Step by Step

Funeral Music

How to Deal with Grief

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100+ Death Anniversary Messages and Quotes

Deaths are an inseparable part of the cycle of life, yet they remain traumatic and haunting for us. The passing of a family member or close friend creates a grief that can hardly be washed away even after many years. While nothing can compensate for the great loss, expressing love for the deceased on their death anniversaries can provide relief. Death anniversary quotes and remembrance messages can convey how much we miss the person we lost and how deeply we yearn for them. Below are some death anniversary messages to express these emotions.

Death Anniversary Messages

• 1st Anniversary
• Grandmother
• Grandfather

There is not a day when I do not think of you. You are forever alive in my heart.

You were and always will be the love of my life. And someday, my soul will find yours. RIP.

No amount of time can heal the sorrow of your passing away. May God bless your soul.

Your memories will never fade from my heart. Hope to see you in heaven. Rest peacefully.

Life is fleeting, indeed. To think that it was yesterday that we first met. See you on the other side.

Regardless of how many years it has been, I still miss you the same. The pain will never leave me alone, I swear.

Losing you is my biggest regret and I miss you every day.

It’s hard to accept the fact that you aren’t here anymore. Not a day goes by that you don’t cross my mind.

He was one of the greatest persons I’ve ever known, and I pray for the peace of his departed soul.

Life seems to have lost its charm without the warmth and light you brought. But I find peace thinking that you’re up there somewhere, watching over me.

You had touched countless lives in your lifetime, and even after your death, you live through your good deeds. We miss you always!

All these days of mourning but the pain still remains fresh. Sending my admiration to his soul.

Your absence keeps haunting me at every step, mom. I hope I can reunite with you in heaven.

It’s your death anniversary, daddy. Losing you left me with a void, and you are irreplaceable, dad. Miss you.

You left here alone, and I cannot wait to reunite with you, darling, sending you love on your death anniversary.

You had left this world for long years ago, but your memories are still fresh in our minds. May you rest peacefully in heaven.

Even though you are no longer here, you often cross my mind. I hope you are in a better place.

___ years ago, ____ ( name), you left us. But even to this day, you live on in our memories. Some day we shall meet again.

The loss of a loved one leaves us with an aching hole that never quite fills up.

Having to part ways with you was heartbreaking. But there is comfort in the fact that someday we shall meet again.

Not having you around hits hard on this day of the year. I miss you, cry for you, and mention you in all my prayers. Rest in peace, (name).

Lighting candles in your memory doesn’t ease the pain. But it gives me hope that someday my soul will meet yours. I know that you’re close.

1st Death Anniversary Messages

One year has passed and yet I can’t get over the pain of losing you. Rest in peace.

Even though a year has passed, your memories are still fresh in my mind. You’ll always be remembered fondly.

The past year has been the longest, toughest and saddest 365 days for me as you were not by my side. May the afterlife be kind to you.

An entire year has passed since you decided to leave us and move on to the next life. I do hope that you’re in a better place.

Having to live a life without you in it has been difficult. In loving memories, you shall continue to stay with us forevermore.

1 year has passed since you left dear earth, but my heart is still wounded for you. I pray for your soul to be in peace forever.

Perhaps you’re among the stars tonight as they shine a little brighter. On your 1st death anniversary, we remember the light you held inside.

Today marks a year of holding onto your memories with all my heart. I’d do anything to get a glimpse of you again. God bless your soul, (name).

Related: RIP Messages and Quotes

Milestone Death Anniversary Quotes

The pain never ceases away, and we always remember them. Praying for ___ on his/her ___th death anniversary.

As it’s been __ years that he/she has left us, all I still pray is he/she is having a good time up in heaven.

I hope you know how much I miss you around here. ___, hope heaven is treating you right. Love you and miss you so much.

The earth had lost one of its angels on this day, and I can’t help but grieve the loss of such a beautiful mind.

I feel the emptiness of his/her absence every day, but it is especially this day when my heart becomes inconsolable. May he/she sleep peacefully.

On this day, I cherish the virtuous life he/she has lived and the memories he/she has given us. May his/her soul find rest.

Remembering ___ with pride and honor on his/her ___th death anniversary. May he/she find the reward of leading such a kind life and happily dwell in heaven.

(number of years) without your physical presence, but your spirit continues to live on in my heart. Your legacy is mine to protect.

Death Anniversary Messages for Father

In loving memory of my Father, who was the most honest, kindest and loving man I have ever known, may his soul forever be in peace.

Dad, I miss having you around- nothing feels right without you. On your death anniversary sending you love.

Dearest father, not a day goes by that I don’t feel your absence. I miss hearing you recollect memories from your childhood. And I miss your invaluable advice.

Dad, life has been tough, but you taught me one thing— never give up. I’m trying to become someone you’d be proud of. And I pray for you every single day.

Dear Father, nothing can fill up the space you left behind in our hearts years ago. I wish I could have one more chance to be with you!

Your dad was such an amazing human being; I hope He is up in heaven and so damn proud of the human you are today.

Read More: Death Anniversary Messages for Father

Death Anniversary Messages for Mother

Mum, I cannot express the unimaginable hollowness I feel every day. I hope you are doing well in heaven, Mum. Thanks for looking out for me from above.

My mother was an amazing woman, and truth to be told, I look for her in every caring woman I meet. Love you, Mum. I hope you’re doing well on the other side.

I would trade the world to see you once again, mom. May your soul rest in peace.

Dear Mom, no matter how many years have passed since you left us, I still grieve over your death. I miss you and your memories are always with me.

Mother, life only gets harder by another day without your presence. On this day of your death anniversary, I pray for peace to be with you.

The hollow of your death becomes even more unbearable with each passing day, mom. I wish you were here.

Read More: Death Anniversary Messages for Mother

Death Anniversary Quotes For Grandmother

I console myself by saying that you are an angel, and angels belong in heaven. But I still can’t tolerate not having you here, grandma.

You may not be with us anymore, but I can feel your love and blessings all around me. I hope your soul finds peace, grandma.

Words can’t express how much I miss you, grandma. My world will never be the same without you.

Several years ago today, another angel ascended to heaven. Missing your warm hugs and endless stories, my dear grandmother.

In loving memory of my loving grandmother, who left us years ago. Her legacy of love and strength lives on in our hearts.

I miss your warm smile and your tight hugs, grandma. Life is so tough without your support and guidance.

I mention you in each of my prayers, grandma. I wish you knew how much I love you.

Death Anniversary Quotes for Grandfather

Praying for you is all I’m left with, Grandpa. Praying on your death anniversary that you are doing fine up there. Love you so much.

May God offer you eternal peace, Grandfather. The family feels incomplete without you. Love you and miss you every second.

It still feels unreal that you are not around. Dear Grandad, I miss you so much every day. May God offer you peace in heaven.

Remembering you on your death anniversary and every day, grandfather. Love you and miss you so much.

It’s been years without you here, but it still hurts so much. I hope you are offered happiness, comfort, and peace in heaven.

You were incredibly special to me, Grandpa. Your death anniversary is the most painful day for me; it shattered my heart into a million pieces. May you rest in peace.

Related: Christian Condolence Messages

Death Anniversary Messages for a Friend

You had come into my life as a blessing, but I could not hold onto it for long. My dear friend, I can never forget you. Rest in peace!

My friend, years will pass away, but you will be evergreen in my memory’s gleeful smiles and loud laughs. May peace be forever with you.

We can never measure your loss but know that your friend was a great human being. May God bless him/her with heaven.

You were a lovely soul. On this day, I miss you. I miss you, my friend. I miss you.

Pretty much everyone had a very high opinion of my friend. It is tragic that he had to depart. Let us all pray for his departed soul.

Coming to terms with the fact that my friend is no longer here has been exceedingly difficult. I hope he’s doing well in heaven.

Dear friend, you never left me- I bore you in my heart and will meet you one day up in heaven.

Death Anniversary Messages for Husband

Your departure has created a void in my heart that can’t ever be fulfilled. I miss you in every moment.

My love, losing you was hard but living without you every day is the hardest. My soul still seeks for you, but it knows that you are in peace, wherever you are!

Remembering my loving husband, who had shown me unconditional love and always treated me with kindness, may his soul rest in peace.

He was the love of my life. He was my husband. And my protector. My one and only. And no one can ever replace him. I miss you.

Providence was indeed kind to me, for I had the good grace of meeting someone like you. You were everything I had hoped for and so much more. Thank you, husband.

Without you, I have become a body without a soul. Hope you are watching over me from heaven.

Numerous years have passed, but the love between us has conquered the boundary of time. Missing you today and always, my beloved husband.

Death Anniversary Messages for Wife

I would call myself lucky because I had you as my wife. Love you so much, honey. I hope heaven is treating you right.

My lovely wife, not a day goes by when my heart doesn’t shatter at your absence in my life. I pray that you have found eternal peace in heaven.

Dear, I believe love is beyond life and death, so our connection would be eternal. I’m sure you’re still looking down upon me, my guardian angel!

My wife was the sweetest woman in all of the time. To this day, I grieve her loss. I hope she is in a better place.

Have you ever heard of people who are too good to be true? My wife was someone like that. Even though she is no longer in this world; she will always stay alive in my fondest memories.

Your wife was a great woman of virtue and best qualities. On her death anniversary, sending you lots of strength.

Related: Happy Anniversary in Heaven

Death Anniversary Messages for Brother

No days go by without thinking of you, brother. It’s your death anniversary again, and I miss you so much.

Brother, the flutes of fate continue to play a sad note, even on this day. All of us miss you and your antics a lot.

Dear brother, you were one of the few people I looked up to as a role model. And even though you aren’t here anymore, it is my fervent wish to meet you for one last time.

Dear brother, you were too young, too gentle and too kind to leave the earth so soon! May you be safe in heaven now.

Brother, I think about you a little more on your death anniversary every year. {PUT YEAR} years have passed but I still yearn for your presence by me!

Your brother was a brother of mine as well, and on his death anniversary, I wish him good up in heaven.

Days pass, but my love for you will never fade, brother. Have a good afterlife, and hope will join you one day.

Today marks another year since my brother’s passing. His courage and love continue to motivate me daily. He will remain alive forever in our hearts.

I cherish the bittersweet memories with my brother on this day. Many years may have passed, but the bond we shared remains strong.

Death Anniversary Messages for Sister

Even death can’t weaken the bond we share, sister. I’ll always carry your memories in my heart.

My dear sister, never in my worst nightmares had I thought that I would have to live without you! My heart still aches for you.

In loving memory of my sister, who had held this family together with her everlasting love and care, we miss you so much!

You know how some people inspire you to become a better person. You were that kind of person. And even though you aren’t here anymore, I can feel you in my heart every time I look up at the sky.

You will continue to live in my memory until I can hug you in the afterlife. Rest in peace, sister.

My heartaches by the thought of not having you beside me anymore, sister. I miss you so much!

My heart bleeds every year on your death anniversary. You were a piece of my heart, and I lost it. I pray for your happiness in your afterlife.

Beloved sis, your death anniversary is the most difficult day of my life. With your death, I lost not just you but also my reason for living. May the Lord reward you in heaven.

Death Anniversary Quotes

“To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.” – Thomas Campbell

“Death leaves a heartache no one can heal. Love leaves a memory no one can steal.” – Irish Sayings

“When someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure.” – Unknown

“Nothing can ever take away the love a heart holds dear. Fond memories linger every day and remembrance keeps them near.” – Unknown

“Remembering you is easy, I do it every day, but missing you is a heartache that never goes away.” – Unknown

“There are no goodbyes for us. Wherever you are you will always be in my heart.” – Gandhi

“To me, fair friend, you never can be old, For as you were when first your eye I eyed, Such seems your beauty still.” – William Shakespeare

“Death ends a life, not a relationship.” – Jack Lemmon

“Those we love don’t go away, they walk beside us every day. Unseen, unheard, but always near, still loved, still missed, and very dear.” – Unknown

“Hope on her death anniversary and every day, the angels treat her well up in heaven. Lots of love.”

“May God maintains her in His loving arms and takes care of her up in the heavens- that’s my only prayer on her death anniversary.”

“Anyone who ever knew him was bound to respect him. He will be deeply missed.”

“What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.” – Helen Keller

“Death is but crossing the world, as friends do the seas; they live in one another still.” – William Penn

Remembrance Messages Death Anniversary

You may be out of my sight, but you’re never far from my thoughts. On this anniversary of your passing, my heart aches all the more.

I lost you forever on this day. I can’t bear the thought of never seeing you again. I hope you are forgiven and enter heaven. Your presence is greatly remembered.

Your absence this year didn’t stop the seasons from changing. But as the pages of life turn, your chapter remains my favorite. May you find peace.

It’s been (number of years), yet your memory remains as vivid as the day you left. On your death anniversary, I reflect on our beautiful moments together.

On this occasion of today, I solemnly remember the love of my life, who left me years ago. His love continues to surround me and my family with warmth, blessing our hearts.

Your death anniversary always makes my heart bleed and cry. I mourn your death and cherish the memories that we made together. Pray for your mercy and a blissful afterlife.

The fleeting nature of life means that your loved ones won’t always be there for you. All that you had envisioned will not come to pass somewhere along the line. You will see your loved ones depart right in front of your eyes. Somehow you will learn to smile through the pain, and before you know it, the days will go by. As the calendar pages move forward, the death anniversaries of your loved ones— friends and family— will appear. And that is the perfect occasion to let everyone know how much you miss them. They continue to live inside of you in your memories, and that you shall love them forevermore.

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Professional Eulogy Writing

Eulogy writing guide, funeral speeches for a work colleague, tribute speech to dad from daughter, funeral speech writing advice, example funeral speech for a work colleague.

• March 9, 2024

Table of Contents

1. Begin with an introduction

Tailoring heartfelt eulogies for spiritual stewards, crafting a legacy of reverence and emotional connection, echoes of sincere respect: client experiences, 2. share a short background, 3. convey their personality, 4. share memorable anecdotes, 5. offer personal condolences, 6. end on a positive note, example funeral speech for a work colleague 1, example funeral speech for a work colleague 2, example funeral speech for a work colleague 3, eulogy assistant: voices of spiritual honor, frequently asked questions.

Losing a work colleague can be a challenging experience for any professional. It's not just the emptiness left behind due to their absence in the workplace, but also the loss of their unique contributions to the team, their friendship, and their energy. Amidst this grief, it's crucial to find the right words to celebrate their life and honour the contributions they made in their professional life. Writing a funeral speech for a work colleague may not be an easy task, but it's an essential way to pay tribute to their memory and to help the grieving process among the team members.

In this article, we'll guide you through the process of writing a heartfelt funeral speech for a work colleague, and provide a realistic example that you can use as a starting point. Follow these steps, and conclude the article by discovering how using Eulogy Assistant can simplify the process and help you craft the perfect eulogy.

Start your speech by introducing yourself, your role within the company, and your relationship with the deceased. Express how honoured you feel to have the opportunity to share their memory with everyone present.

Talk about how long the deceased had been working at the company and the various positions they held. Highlight their key accomplishments and their contributions to the team.

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Work colleagues possess both professional skills and distinctive personal traits. Talk about the qualities that made the deceased unique to their work environment. Were they always optimistic, a great problem solver, or known for their exceptional kindness? Try to pinpoint their distinguishing characteristics and mention how they affected others.

Illustrate your speech with specific examples from the deceased's work life. These can be anecdotes that reflect their personality, achievements or even funny moments that bring a smile to the audience. Choose stories that highlight the person's spirit and contributions in the workplace.

Express your own feelings of grief and empathy for the family. Encourage everyone present to be supportive of the deceased's loved ones in these trying times. Acknowledge the pain that everyone is experiencing and remind them that they're not alone.

Conclude the speech by expressing gratitude for the time spent working alongside the departed colleague. Offer some hopeful words, focusing on the great memories shared and the positive impact that the deceased had on the lives of their co-workers.

Distinguished guests, esteemed colleagues, and friends,

Today, we gather not just as coworkers but as a community united in grief and remembrance, to pay tribute to a person who was an integral part of our professional family and a cherished friend, [Colleague's Name]. As I stand before you, I am filled with a profound sense of loss, but also with a deep appreciation for the time we were privileged to share with [him/her]. In this speech, I hope to honor [his/her] memory, celebrate [his/her] life, and share with you the impact [he/she] had on us all.

[Colleague's Name] joined our team on [Date of Joining], and from that first day, [he/she] brought with [him/her] a breath of fresh air. [His/Her] passion for [mention their professional role or expertise] was evident in everything [he/she] did. [He/She] wasn’t just doing a job; [he/she] was fulfilling a calling, a purpose that drove [him/her] to excel and to inspire those around [him/her].

I remember a particular instance [share a specific memory or story that highlights the colleague’s professional qualities or contributions]. This moment speaks volumes about [Colleague's Name]'s character – [his/her] dedication, [his/her] integrity, and [his/her] unwavering commitment to excellence. [He/She] was not just our colleague; [he/she] was our mentor, our motivator, and our benchmark.

Beyond [his/her] professional prowess, [Colleague's Name] was known for [his/her] [positive personal quality, e.g., 'kindness', 'sense of humor', 'compassion']. [He/She] had an innate ability to connect with people, to understand their needs, and to extend a helping hand. [His/Her] office was not just a workspace; it was a sanctuary for many of us, a place where we were always welcomed with a warm smile and an open heart.

One of the most admirable aspects of [Colleague's Name] was [his/her] ability to bring out the best in others. [He/She] believed in teamwork, in the power of collaboration, and in the strength of unity. [He/She] was the glue that held our team together, the one who could turn challenges into opportunities and differences into synergies.

[Colleague's Name] also had a remarkable sense of humor, a quality that made the stresses of our daily work seem a little lighter. [He/She] could defuse tension with a witty remark, and [his/her] laughter was often the best remedy for a long, hard day. [Share a light-hearted anecdote that demonstrates their humor]. In these moments of laughter and joy, [he/she] showed us the importance of not taking life too seriously.

In [his/her] personal life, [Colleague's Name] was a [role in the family, e.g., 'devoted parent', 'caring sibling']. [He/She] cherished [his/her] family above all else and provided them with endless love and support. [His/Her] [children/spouse/siblings/parents], [Names, if applicable], were the center of [his/her] universe, and [he/she] reveled in every moment spent with them.

Despite the many roles [he/she] played, [Colleague's Name] was also deeply committed to [a cause or hobby]. [His/Her] involvement in [specific activities or causes] was not just a pastime; it was a testament to [his/her] belief in [a specific value or mission].

The sudden loss of [Colleague's Name] is a stark reminder of the fragility of life. It challenges us to find meaning in the midst of our grief and to seek comfort in the memories we shared. [His/Her] death leaves a void that cannot be filled, yet [his/her] life leaves a legacy that cannot be forgotten.

In [his/her] [age, e.g., 'thirty years'], [Colleague's Name] lived more fully than many who are granted much longer on this earth. [His/Her] impact was profound, and [his/her] spirit, indomitable. Though [his/her] time with us was cut short, the breadth of [his/her] influence and the depth of [his/her] presence were immense.

Esteemed family, friends, and colleagues,

Today, we gather to honor and remember my mother, [Mother's Name], whose life was a beautiful blend of compassion, dedication, and love. As her daughter, it is with a heavy heart yet a deep sense of pride that I stand before you to pay tribute to a woman who was not only an exceptional nurse but also an extraordinary mother.

Born on [Date of Birth] in [Place of Birth], my mother's early life was marked by a nurturing spirit and a desire to help others. This inherent compassion led her to a career in nursing, a profession where she excelled not just in skill, but in empathy and kindness. Her journey in nursing began at [Name of Nursing School or University], where she quickly distinguished herself through her commitment and her unwavering care for her patients.

Throughout her career, [Mother's Name] touched countless lives through her work in [mention specific areas of nursing she worked in, such as pediatrics, emergency care, or a specific hospital or clinic]. She had a remarkable ability to connect with her patients, offering not just medical care but also comfort and understanding. Her colleagues often spoke of her as an inspiration, a nurse who personified the very essence of the profession.

I remember [share a specific story or memory that highlights your mother's dedication to nursing]. This moment encapsulates her selfless nature and her profound impact on those she cared for. Her dedication to her profession was a beacon of hope and healing to many.

At home, [Mother's Name] brought the same level of care and love she showed to her patients. She was the heart of our family, providing not only physical care but emotional support. Her strength, resilience, and unconditional love were the pillars upon which our family was built. She taught us the importance of compassion, the value of hard work, and the joy found in caring for others.

Balancing a demanding career with motherhood was no small feat, yet she did so with grace and poise. She was there for every important moment, every challenge, and every achievement, guiding us with her wisdom and her gentle yet firm hand. [Share a personal anecdote or memory that reflects this balance and her role as a mother].

One of the most striking qualities of my mother was her ability to remain positive and uplifted, even in the face of adversity. She faced challenges with courage and always managed to find a reason to smile. Her optimistic outlook and her ability to find joy in every situation were infectious and brought light to our lives.

As we remember [Mother's Name] today, we not only reflect on her as a nurse and a mother but as a beacon of compassion and humanity. Her legacy is not just in the lives she healed or the family she raised, but in the example she set for each of us – an example of kindness, dedication, and love.

In her final days, [Mother's Name] demonstrated the same dignity and strength that she lived her life. She faced her illness with courage, and even in her weakest moments, she was concerned about the welfare of others. This selflessness was the hallmark of her life and character.

Today, as we bid farewell to my beloved mother, I am reminded of [a quote, poem, or saying that was significant to your mother or reflects her life]. These words beautifully capture the essence of her spirit – a spirit characterized by unending compassion and a deep-seated desire to make the world a better place.

[Mother's Name], your journey with us may have ended, but your spirit, your love, and your legacy will continue to inspire and guide us. You were a healer in every sense of the word, and your memory will forever be etched in our hearts.

As we say our final goodbye, we do so with gratitude for the love you shared, the lives you touched, and the incredible example you set for us all. Rest in peace, dear mother. You will always be remembered, cherished, and deeply missed.

Thank you, [Mother's Name], for everything. Your legacy of love and compassion will live on through us.

Here's a realistic example of a funeral speech for a work colleague:

Good morning, my name is John Doe, and I have the honour of serving as the Regional Manager at ABC Corporation. Today, we gather to celebrate the life and memory of our dear friend and colleague, Jane Smith. Jane was not only a valued member of our team but was also a caring and supportive friend to many of us.

Jane joined ABC Corporation 15 years ago and quickly moved up within the organization due to her dedication and professionalism. She played a crucial role in winning key projects for the company, and her positive energy and enthusiasm were contagious.

In the workplace, Jane was known for her incredible problem-solving abilities and her unwavering kindness. Her infectious laugh and genuine presence will be sorely missed by all who had the pleasure of working with her.

I'll never forget the time when Jane took it upon herself to organize an elaborate surprise birthday party for our boss. She somehow managed to keep it a secret from everyone, including the birthday person, until the last possible moment. This thoughtful gesture is just one example of her ability to go above and beyond for those around her.

On behalf of our entire team, I would like to express our deepest condolences to Jane's family during this incredibly difficult time. The loss of Jane leaves a void in our hearts, but we will never forget the impact she had on our lives.

As we say goodbye to our beloved colleague, let us be grateful for the time we had together and let her memory live on in the friendships and connections we forge at work.

In the serene moments of paying tribute to a spiritual steward, the act of weaving your deep respect and cherished memories into words can feel as intimate as capturing the essence of a sacred prayer. Eulogy Assistant is here to guide you through this poignant journey, masterfully blending dignified homage with heartfelt emotion, turning revered memories into lasting tributes.

Our team, proficient in the art of compassionate eulogy creation, is committed to assisting you in articulating a eulogy that resonates with the serene wisdom and impactful presence of your spiritual mentor. With Eulogy Assistant , we offer more than a service; it's a partnership founded on empathy and deep understanding, dedicated to memorializing a life of spiritual guidance and inspiration.

At Eulogy Assistant , we emphasize the importance of collaboration in crafting an eulogy that resonates deeply and authentically. Working side by side with you, we seamlessly blend your personal recollections and heartfelt sentiments with our professional skill, creating a tribute that honors with genuineness and establishes deep emotional bonds.

Our approach is founded on authentic dialogue and shared creative exploration. Your personal stories and insights are vital in developing a narrative that genuinely reflects the spirit of your spiritual mentor's legacy. This process goes beyond mere storytelling; it's about capturing the nuances of their spiritual journey and the breadth of their influence.

Together, our goal is to create a narrative that authentically embodies your spiritual mentor – a eulogy that transcends typical tributes, enriched with respect, personal connection, and heartfelt emotion. Our combined efforts lead to a eulogy that is a harmonious blend of words, mirroring the deep respect and affection your spiritual guide has inspired.

The heart of our service is clearly reflected in the testimonials from those we've had the honor of assisting. These heartfelt expressions of thanks and acknowledgment from individuals who turned to us in their time of need are the most sincere testament to our dedication.

"Approaching the task of honoring my spiritual mentor was profound, yet Eulogy Assistant was a source of unshakeable support, helping me craft a eulogy that truly celebrated their spirit and teachings," says Elizabeth, expressing her deep gratitude.

Michael shares, "In my time of mourning, the empathetic and expert guidance from Eulogy Assistant was a comforting solace. They assisted me in crafting a eulogy that was not just words, but a heartfelt and touching tribute to my spiritual guide."

These accounts underscore our commitment to crafting eulogies that are not just formal speeches, but heartfelt commemorations of honor, respect, and lasting memory. We are privileged to guide you in this journey, celebrating the unique legacies of those who have profoundly influenced our lives, and crafting eulogies that are lasting tributes to their spiritual stewardship.

Join us in shaping narratives that are deeply personal, reverent, and truly reflective of the inspirational spiritual mentors who have guided our paths.

What is a Funeral Speech for a Work Colleague?

A funeral speech for a work colleague is a tribute given at their funeral or memorial service, focusing on their contributions at work and the personal connections shared with them.

How Do I Start Writing a Funeral Speech for a Colleague?

Begin by reflecting on your relationship with the colleague, their role and contributions at work, and any memorable interactions or experiences shared with them.

What Key Elements Should Be Included in a Funeral Speech for a Colleague?

Include anecdotes about their professional life, their personality at work, the impact they had on the team, and any shared experiences that were meaningful.

How Long Should a Funeral Speech for a Colleague Be?

A funeral speech for a colleague should typically last around 3-5 minutes, long enough to express meaningful sentiments while being considerate of the audience's time.

Can I Share a Personal Story About My Colleague?

Yes, sharing personal stories that reflect their character and your relationship with them can add depth and personal touch to the speech.

Is It Appropriate to Mention Their Professional Achievements?

Mentioning their professional achievements is appropriate and can highlight their dedication, skills, and contributions to the workplace.

How Can I Balance Personal Feelings with Professional Tone?

Balance personal feelings by sharing heartfelt stories while maintaining a professional tone that respects the work environment and relationship.

How Do I Address the Loss of My Colleague to the Audience?

Address the loss by acknowledging the collective grief of the team and the valuable presence the colleague had in the workplace.

Can I Include Humor in the Funeral Speech?

If it’s reflective of your colleague's personality and appropriate for the setting, including light humor can be a fitting way to remember them.

How Should I Conclude the Funeral Speech?

Conclude with a final expression of gratitude or farewell, a reflection on what your colleague meant to you and the team, or a hope for their legacy to continue.

Should I Speak About the Impact of Their Passing on the Team?

Discussing the impact of their passing on the team can be appropriate, as it acknowledges the void they leave and the significance of their role.

Is It Okay to Share How My Colleague Influenced My Work?

Sharing how they influenced your work can be a meaningful tribute to the professional guidance or inspiration they provided.

How Do I Handle My Emotions While Delivering the Speech?

Allow yourself to express emotions but try to maintain composure. If you become overwhelmed, it's okay to pause for a moment.

Can I Mention Our Shared Projects or Achievements?

Mentioning shared projects or achievements can be a good way to highlight collaborative efforts and the successes you achieved together.

What Tone is Suitable for a Funeral Speech for a Colleague?

A respectful, sincere, and considerate tone is suitable, acknowledging the professional relationship while also expressing personal sentiments.

How Do I Make the Speech Relatable to Other Colleagues?

Focus on experiences or qualities of your colleague that others can relate to, creating a sense of shared remembrance.

Can I Use a Quote or Saying That Reflects My Colleague’s Work Ethic?

Including a relevant quote or saying can add depth to your speech, especially if it resonates with your colleague's approach to work or life.

Should I Address My Colleague’s Family in the Speech?

If appropriate, acknowledging the family, expressing condolences, and sharing how much the colleague was valued at work can be meaningful.

What Should I Avoid Saying in the Funeral Speech?

Avoid controversial topics, personal grievances, or any humor that could be misinterpreted in the solemnity of the occasion.

Can I Encourage Others to Share Their Memories of the Colleague?

Encouraging others to share their memories can be a thoughtful way to collectively honor and remember the colleague’s life and contributions.

How Do I Prepare for Delivering the Funeral Speech?

Prepare by writing down your thoughts, practicing the speech, and considering the shared experiences and sentiments you wish to convey.

In conclusion, writing a funeral speech for a work colleague is a great honour and responsibility. By following these steps and using the realistic example provided, you'll be able to create a heartfelt and moving tribute.

Looking For Examples? Here Are Some of The Best Eulogies

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Speech on Annual Day by Principal

Welcome to the exciting world of Annual Day celebrations! As the principal, this is a special day to celebrate your school’s achievements. It’s a chance to showcase talent, appreciate hard work, and create unforgettable memories.

Are you ready to embrace this joyous occasion? Let’s explore the essence of Annual Day and the principal’s role in making it a grand success.

1-minute Speech on Annual Day by Principal

Good evening everyone, esteemed Chief Guest, respected teachers, parents, and my dear students.

I, as the Principal of this esteemed institution, am greatly honored to welcome you all to our Annual Day. This day is not just about celebrations and festivities. It is a day of reflection, a day when we celebrate the achievements of our students and reflect on the progress we’ve made in the past year.

Every day, our students arrive at school ready to learn, eager and full of enthusiasm. Their energy and passion for knowledge never cease to amaze me. They embody the spirit of learning and growth. Today, we celebrate their hard work and dedication to education.

Our teachers are the backbone of this institution. Their commitment and dedication to teaching is unparalleled. They go above and beyond their call of duty to ensure our students get the best education possible. I am deeply grateful for their invaluable contributions.

Parents, your support and cooperation have been instrumental in our journey. Your belief in us has helped us achieve our goals and set new benchmarks. We value your trust and assure you that we will continue to strive for excellence in education.

In the end, I would like to congratulate all the students who have won awards today. This is a testament to your hard work and dedication. Keep up the good work and continue to make us proud.

Thank you, everyone, for being a part of this celebration. Let us continue to work together to make our school a center of excellence and our students, the leaders of tomorrow.

Thank you and have a wonderful evening.

2-minute Speech on Annual Day by Principal

Ladies and Gentlemen, Esteemed Guests, Passionate Teachers and Dear Students,

It is with great pleasure that I stand before you today as your Principal, to celebrate our school’s Annual Day. This is not just a day, but a celebration of the yearlong achievements, and a time to bask in the glory of our triumphs. I am delighted to welcome you all to this special occasion.

The Annual Day holds a special place in our hearts as it is a testament to the hard work, perseverance, and dedication we have put in throughout the year. It’s a reflection of the vibrant educational and co-curricular accomplishments we’ve achieved together. The commendable performances of our students in academics, sports, and extracurricular activities are a testimony to our school’s holistic development approach.

Our teachers have been the backbone of this comprehensive and multifaceted growth. They have been the guiding stars, leading our students towards knowledge, wisdom, and a promising future. Their commitment and relentless efforts have always brought the best out of our students. I would like to take this opportunity to express my profound gratitude towards our diligent teaching staff.

But the Annual Day is not just about celebrating achievements, it’s also about setting new goals, and marching towards them with unwavering determination. We are committed to nurturing young minds, to inspire them to think, learn, achieve, and eventually become successful and responsible individuals. In the coming academic year, we will further our efforts to provide our students with an environment that is more conducive to learning and growth.

We have made significant progress in integrating technology into our pedagogical methods. We believe that the judicious use of technology can greatly enhance our learning experience, and we will continue to strive to make our classrooms more interactive and lively.

I believe that our school is not just a place for formal education, but a space where students grow and evolve as individuals. It is a place where their inner potential is nurtured, and where they learn the values of respect, integrity, and responsibility. In the coming years, we will emphasize more on character building, along with academic and non-academic achievements.

As I look forward to the next academic year, I am filled with hope and aspiration. I am confident that our students will continue to strive for excellence, make the most of the opportunities presented to them, and make us proud with their accomplishments.

In conclusion, I would like to extend my sincere thanks to all the parents who have supported us in our journey. Your trust and cooperation have been instrumental in our success. Together, we can shape the future of our children, and equip them with the skills and knowledge necessary to excel in this ever-changing world.

Finally, to our brilliant students, remember that each one of you is unique and has the potential to achieve greatness. Keep learning, keep growing, and keep striving for excellence.

Thank you, and once again, welcome to our Annual Day celebration. Let’s revel in the spirit of achievement and look forward to an exciting future, filled with endless possibilities.

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The Funeral Speech

The funeral or memorial speech is an integral part of most funeral and memorial services.  Funeral speeches include formal eulogies or tributes as well as informal reflections, remembrances and comments.  Funerals, Homegoings and Celebration of Life services include a mix of these funeral speeches to ensure that all close family and friends are given a chance to reflect on their relationship with the deceased, and offer comfort to mourners.  It is considered an honor to be asked to deliver a heartwarming funeral speech.

There are several types of funeral speeches.

Eulogies -- This is the most common funeral speech.  A eulogy is usually the main speech that praises and offers testimonial to the deceased's life.  Eulogies typically are from 5 - 15 minutes.

Tributes -- Sometime tributes are interchangeable with eulogies.  Often, tributes are usual shorter and slightly more informal than a eulogy and are given in addition the formal eulogy.  Tributes gives other close friends and relative a chance to reflect on relationship with the deceased.  May include very personal memories or funny stories about the deceased.

Reflections / Remembrances / Informal Comments . -- Can be co-workers, close friends, typically relationships other than family members.  Usually limited to 2 minutes.

Here are a few tips for composing a funeral speech.

Take time to prepare -- Whether you are just giving informal comments or a formal eulogy, you want to take time to prepare what you plan to say.       

Write down specific memories, or qualities of the deceased that you may want to share.  See our articles on "how to write a eulogy" and our eulogy writing checklist .  Also check out our collection of eulogy examples or maybe look for a sample funeral speech on the internet.

Print your speech, or use note cards so that you can refer to it if you forget what you are going to say.  Use a large font for so that it's easy to read.  Consider putting it in outline form, so that it can be easier to read.

Try to speak in a natural and conversational tone.

Practice your speech

Be mindful of the length of your speech.  If asked to give eulogy funeral speech -- try to keep it between 5 - 15 minutes.  If asked to give reflections or just "say a few words" try to limit to 2 minutes, as there are often several other people who may have been asked to speak

If composing original tribute is too difficult, you may choose to recite a existing poem, favorite passage or scripture.  See our articles on funeral readings , funeral and memorial poems , bible verses for funerals and funeral quotes .

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7 Short Memorial Tribute Samples for Funerals

Updated 04/19/2024

Published 04/29/2020

Belinda McLeod, BA in Secondary Education

Contributing writer

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You’ve been asked to speak at a funeral. You have a basic idea of how to write a tribute speech , but you need some inspiration. Perhaps you are struggling to put into words how exceptional your mom was.

Maybe every time you try to write about the characteristics of your sister, the words sound generic and hollow. It could be that you haven’t written anything but emails since high school or college, and you are uncomfortable putting your thoughts into words.

Let us help. Here are some short tribute samples. We’ll try to give you examples of how to begin, portions from the middle of a speech, and how to conclude your tribute. We hope that reading these short excerpts will inspire you to be able to write a speech for someone close to you.

Post-planning tip:   If you are the executor for a deceased loved one, handling a loved one's unfinished business can be overwhelming without a way to organize your process. We have a post-loss checklist  that will help you ensure that your loved one's family, estate, and other affairs are taken care of.

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For a parent, for a sibling, for a partner or spouse, for a friend, for another close family member, for a mentor , for a colleague, how to choose the right words.

"Good afternoon. I am Peter, Mary’s oldest son. My sister Patricia and I would like to welcome you to the memorial service of our mom. I’m going to be honest. I’m a high school teacher, so I am used to public speaking. But presenting this tribute will be the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. Please give me grace as I struggle through my thoughts and ideas and try to articulate what an amazing woman my mom was.

Instead of giving you a list of adjectives to describe my mom, I would like to tell you a few of our favorite stories about her and let you draw your own conclusions. 

First, you probably didn’t know this, but my mom has been quietly working with the homeless population for years. She didn’t talk about it. In fact, she never said anything to my sister or me about her work. Instead, she would quietly prepare bags of snacks and toiletries every Sunday evening, and then several times throughout that week, she would distribute the packages to the homeless communities downtown. I see the looks of surprise on some of your faces, and you probably are asking yourself how you didn’t know this about my mom. That’s just the type of person she was—selfless and humble."

Tip: You can set up a memorial fundraiser to help with funeral expenses or donate to your loved one's favorite charity using our online memorials .

"Shawna had such an exuberant spirit. I see many of you nodding your heads because you know this may be the understatement of the century. 

Even though I was two years ahead of Shawna in school, people in my class would ask if I was Shawna’s brother. It used to infuriate me, but I understand why it happened. Shawna made a point to learn everyone’s name. Not only that, but she would also learn everyone’s siblings’ names, how long they had lived in the area, and whether they liked chocolate or strawberry ice cream. 

Shawna was a natural-born public relations director. She loved people, and people loved her. It’s no surprise there’s not an empty seat in the church today. This packed house means a lot to my parents and me. We can’t tell you how much we have appreciated all the messages we have received in the last week. Your support has been overwhelming."

"Finally, besides being grateful for my amazing children and close friends, I am thankful for the treasure trove of memories that I have of my life with Michael. Even though I feel as if my right arm has been removed, I know that someday I may again laugh when I remember some of his god-awful jokes.

Eventually, I will be able to use his Graceland coffee cup without breaking down into tears. There will come a point when I will be able to look back at our lifetime of memories together and smile. Until then, I would love for you to share your memories of Michael with me. It comforts me to know that there are others out there thinking of and mourning for this great man."

Tip:  For a special reminder of your partner and your memories together, consider a custom urn  or  cremation diamond .

"The first thing I noticed about Carol was her big mane of red, curly hair. It didn’t take long to discover that her hair matched her personality. And it’s that personality that I would like to celebrate with you today.

Let’s start by remembering her laugh. I always knew where Carol was when I entered a restaurant for a lunch date with her and our high school friends. I only had to pause at the entrance of the dining room and listen for her loud, contagious laugh. I never had to wait long to hear it because Carol was always the life of the party."

"My mom has shared a lot of stories about Uncle Ralph through the years. My favorite stories were about his adventures when he was a young adult—before he married Aunt Rita. 

Apparently, Ralph had an adventurous spirit back in the late 1960s. He spent his summers hitchhiking across the country, with his old Boy Scout pack slung across his back. Ralph was able to get rides from other hippies, truck drivers, ranchers, and once a cult leader.

He slept under the stars in the Sierra Nevada mountains and woke up once to see a bear rummaging through his pack. I wasn’t around back then, but I’ve seen photos of Ralph from this time. He was almost unrecognizable. The Uncle Ralph that I knew was a clean-cut Presbyterian minister. "

"Today I would like to pay tribute to a great woman and mentor, Julia Price. Julia was born to a Missouri farm couple in 1958. Her parents, Sam and Glenda Smith, had struggled to conceive, and when Julia finally arrived to complete their family, they were delighted. They treated their daughter as a princess, and she loved them with her whole heart.

Although she didn’t want to leave home, her parents convinced her to enroll in the University of Missouri after she graduated from high school as valedictorian. There, she studied journalism and became the first female editor of the college newspaper. She loved her new-found career, and when she graduated, she received an offer from major newspapers in St. Louis and Chicago. 

She began her career covering city hall in Chicago. You know she met a lot of interesting characters from this experience—many of whom are currently serving time in prison. Regardless, she remained unintimidated by these high-profile public servants and worked hard to make sure the local population knew what was going on behind closed doors."

"It is my honor to speak today about Bill. Although I wish I were talking at his retirement party instead of his funeral , we all know that life isn’t fair sometimes. It’s not fair that Bill was taken from his wife Carol after only 27 years together. It’s not fair that Bill wasn’t able to live long enough to see his first granddaughter born next spring. And it’s not fair that our office will be without Bill’s booming voice and contagious laugh. Things won’t ever be the same.

No one worked harder than Bill. He knew every aspect of the business, which is not a surprise since he started in the warehouse when he was 23 years old. He worked his way up to warehouse supervisor, and then distribution manager, and finally, one of the vice presidents of the company." 

We hope these short eulogy samples will help you get over your writer’s block. But don’t beat yourself up if you really struggle to write a fitting tribute to your loved one or colleague. You are undertaking a difficult and important task. 

• Give yourself plenty of time to write your speech. Begin jotting down ideas as soon as you are asked. You may want to speak to others who knew the deceased to learn stories and gather ideas. 
• Write out a draft of your tribute, using as many specific examples and stories as possible. Avoid making general statements about the person’s personality without having a particular memory to share. 
• Also, remember that a funeral is not the appropriate place to share someone’s secrets. It’s not the time to make a bombshell announcement or reveal a life-long secret.  
• Finally, once you have your draft, share it with several other people. Ask for suggestions and be open-minded with their edits. 

Writing a tribute is a lot of work, but it is a great honor to be asked to speak at a loved one’s memorial service.

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100+ Remembrance Death Anniversary Messages

When someone we love is gone, the pain sticks around. And when the calendar hits that day they left us, it's like the ache gets a bit heavier. That's when finding the right words matters. We've got over 100   death anniversary messages   for remembrance and death anniversaries. These words are here to bring some comfort, helping you express what can be tough to put into words on this solemn day. Take a look, and maybe you'll find something that speaks to the lasting grief we carry.

Death Anniversary Message for a Mother

Losing mom is an indescribable sorrow - a   custom gift   that God gave us, a unique presence that brought irreplaceable warmth to our lives. In moments of remembrance, expressing the depth of our emotions via quotes for anniversary of a death becomes really essential. 

• On this solemn day, I remember the warmth of your embrace and the kindness in your eyes. Your enduring love continues to lead me, Mom.
• To the woman who gave me life and filled it with love, your absence is deeply felt, but your spirit lives on in the memories we shared.
• Mom, your laughter echoed through our home, and today, in your absence, it's the sweetest melody in my heart.
• Mom, your legacy of strength and compassion lives on in the lessons you taught. Today, my heart is filled with gratitude as I remember you.

Anniversary of a Death Quotes for Mother

• In the garden of my memories, your love blooms eternal. Missing you profoundly on this day, Mom.
• Though time passes, the ache of losing you remains. Today, we honor your memory with love that transcends earthly bounds.
• On this day of remembrance, I find solace in the beautiful moments we shared and the love that still surrounds us.
• Mom, your love was a guiding light, and though you're not physically here, your influence continues to illuminate my path.
• In the quiet moments, I hear your words of wisdom and feel your comforting presence. Your memory is a treasure I hold dear.
• On this day, I honor the beautiful soul you were and the lasting impact you made on my life. Missing you, Mom.
• Your love was a sanctuary, and on this anniversary, I reflect on the sanctuary you provided. Forever grateful, forever missed.
• In the tapestry of my life, your presence is a thread of enduring love. Remembering you today with a heart full of both joy and sorrow.

Quotes for Anniversary of A Death for Mother

• Mom, your nurturing spirit and unconditional love remain etched in my heart. I recall you with love and cherished memories.
• Though the years may pass, the void your absence created remains. Today, I honor your memory with love and gratitude.
• Mom, your legacy of love continues to shape our family. On this day, we hold you close in our hearts.
• Your love was a compass, guiding me through life's journeys. On this anniversary, I navigate with the lessons you left behind.
• In the quiet moments of reflection, I feel your love surrounding me. The memory of you brings comfort and strength.
• To the one who was not just a mother but a lifelong friend, your absence is felt deeply. Cherishing the beautiful memories we created together.

Even though Mom isn't here, knowing a   custom memorial gift   is meant for her would have made her really happy. It's these little things that keep us connected, even if she's not with us. 

Custom Memorial Gift with Remembrance Messages Death Anniversary

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Personalized 25th anniversary gifts, personalized canvas photos, personalized anniversary pillow, personalized anniversary sweatshirts, anniversary of death quotes for dad.

What to say when someone dies ? Losing the strong pillar of the whole family, like a father, leaves a deep void. On the anniversary of his passing, emotions run high as we reflect on the impact of his presence through death anniversary messages.

• In every heartbeat, in every whisper of the wind, Dad's memory lives on.
• Through the years pass, your presence is felt in the love you left behind, Dad.
• In the garden of memories, Dad's laughter blooms eternal, brightening our days.
• A year may have passed, but your love and guidance continue to shape our journey, Dad.
• Dad, your legacy is woven into the fabric of our lives, reminding us that love never truly fades.

Remembrance Death Anniversary Quotes for Dad

• On this anniversary, we celebrate the enduring impact of Dad's wisdom and warmth.
• Dad, your spirit echoes in the laughter of grandchildren, a timeless melody of love.
• As the sun sets on another year without you, we find solace in the beautiful memories you gifted us.
• In the tapestry of time, Dad's presence is a thread of enduring love and cherished moments.
• On this day, we honor the man who taught us that love is the strongest bond that death cannot sever.
• Dad's absence is a poignant reminder that love surpasses the boundaries of time and space.
• In the quiet moments, we hear Dad's whispers of encouragement, guiding us forward.
• Though you're not physically here, Dad, your love surrounds us like a warm embrace.
• In the book of our lives, each chapter is marked by the indelible ink of Dad's influence.

Death Anniversary Phrases

• The anniversary of Dad's passing is a bittersweet melody, a reminder of the love that remains.
• The anniversary of Dad's departure is a testament to the enduring power of his love in our lives.
• With every passing day, we find new ways to honor and carry forward Dad's legacy of love.
• Dad's memory is a beacon of light that continues to shine, guiding us through the shadows of grief.

Even though they may no longer be with us in person, commemorating a loved one with a   personalized memorial T-shirt   and expressing death anniversary phrases is a heartfelt way to keep their memory alive.

Custom Memorial T-shirt with Death Anniversary Prayer Quotes

Quotes for Anniversary of a Death of Siblings

When siblings aren't around, home feels spacious yet filled with memories. The anniversary of a sibling's passing brings a mix of emotions – from missing them to cherishing shared moments. Here are death anniversary messages to dive into your inside mind. 

• In every memory, your presence lingers, reminding me of the bond we shared.
• Though you're no longer here, your spirit continues to guide me every day.
• Your absence is deeply felt, yet your love remains etched in my heart.
• Forever in my thoughts, forever in my heart, my dear sibling.
• On this anniversary of your passing, I honor the beautiful soul you were.
• In the garden of memories, I find solace in the flowers of our shared moments.
• Your laughter echoes in my mind, bringing both joy and longing.

Anniversary of Death Message for Siblings

• Even though you're no longer with us, your legacy of love and kindness continues to thrive.
• The pain of your absence is softened by the cherished memories we created together.
• In the tapestry of life, your thread will forever be woven into mine.
• Your presence may be missed, but your impact on my life remains immeasurable.
• Today, I light a candle in remembrance of the light you brought into my life.
• Gone from sight but never from my heart, my beloved sibling.
• The bond we shared transcends time and space, keeping you close always.
• In the silence of the night, I feel your spirit comforting me, like a guardian angel.
• The experience of your loss has imparted upon me the importance of cherishing every moment and holding dear ones close.
• Though you're no longer by my side, I carry your love with me wherever I go.
• On this anniversary, I find comfort in knowing that you're at peace, watching over me from above.

Death Anniversary Message for Sibings

Death Anniversary Messages for Grandparents

Grandparents leave us with a treasure trove of wisdom and cherished memories. As we remember them, expressing our emotions through death anniversary quotes, and even   memorial gift ideas   as well, becomes a heartfelt tribute to the lasting impact they had on our lives. 

• Remembering Grandma and Grandpa on this day, their love and wisdom continue to inspire us. 
• To our cherished grandparents in heaven, your laughter and warmth are missed every day. 
• On this anniversary of your departure, Grandpa, your legacy of kindness and resilience lives on in our hearts. 
• Grandma, your recipes, and the love you poured into them are etched in our memories. Today, we honor you with gratitude. 
• Grandparents are the storytellers of our childhood. On this day, we recall the tales of love you shared with us. 
• Today, we light a candle in memory of Grandma, whose warmth and grace brightened our lives. 

Death Anniversary Quotes for Grandparents

• Grandparents are the anchors in a stormy sea of life. Your guidance, Grandma and Grandpa, remains our compass. 
• In loving memory of Grandpa, whose humor and playful spirit brought joy to every family gathering. 
• Grandma, your lullabies and bedtime stories were the magic that made childhood special. We cherish those moments today. 
• Grandparents' love is a beacon that guides us through life. On this day, we honor the light you brought into our world. 
• Grandpa, your woodworking skills crafted more than just furniture; they created lasting memories in our hearts. 
• Today, we celebrate the legacy of Grandma, whose delicious homemade meals were a taste of love that lingers on. 
• In honor of our departed grandparents, whose love and teachings remain the foundation of our family.

Anniversary of Death Quotes

• In memory of Grandpa, whose strong embrace and words of wisdom still echo in our hearts. 
• Grandpa, your gardening skills and the beautiful blooms you nurtured are a reminder of your everlasting presence.
• Grandma, your sewing needles wove not just fabrics but a tapestry of love that we hold close on this anniversary. 
• Today marks another year without your physical presence, Grandpa, but your spirit continues to guide us with love and strength. 
• On this day, we remember Grandma's gentle hugs and the comfort they brought to our lives. 

How about a   unique memorial canvas   hung on the wall to refill the absence of such beloved grand ones? Check this out:

Memorial Canvas with Quotes for Anniversary of A Death

Death Anniversary Quotes for Friend

Thinking about the day our bestie went away is never easy. The anniversary of a friend's passing brings a flood of memories and the realization of the void they left behind. Finding the right death anniversary messages becomes a way to honor the special bond we shared

• In the garden of memories, your laughter blooms, forever cherished on this day.
• Friendship isn't measured by time; it's measured by the lasting impact you left in my heart.
• Though you're not here to celebrate, your spirit dances in the memories we shared.
• On this day, I light a candle of remembrance for the friend whose light still guides my way.
• A friend like you is a melody that echoes through the silence of your absence.
• Your friendship was a gift, and your memory is a treasure that time can't diminish.
• In the book of life, your chapter may have ended, but your story continues to inspire.
• On this anniversary of your departure, I feel the warmth of your friendship in every tear.
• The stars above hold the reflections of the friendship we once had – bright, eternal.

Quotes on Death Anniversary

• Though time passes, your presence in my heart remains timeless.
• In the album of my memories, your pictures tell a story of a friendship that defies distance.
• Your absence is deeply felt, but your friendship continues to shape the moments of my life.
• Today, I celebrate the beautiful friendship that even death couldn't steal away.
• As the years go by, your laughter echoes in the chambers of my heart, timeless and pure.
• In the symphony of life, your friendship was the melody that still plays on this day.
• The calendar may mark your absence, but the calendar can't measure the love I still feel.
• On this day of remembrance, I honor the friend whose impact is etched in the fabric of my being.
• Your memory is a lighthouse in the storm, guiding me through the waves of missing you.

Death Anniversary Prayer Quotes for Husband or Wife

Losing the love of our life, our better half, is a journey that cuts deep into our core. How do we navigate through the anniversary of our husband or wife's passing, finding comfort and expressing the emotions that come with such a profound loss? Are those death anniversary messages that can help?

• On this anniversary of your departure, I pray for peace to fill the void your absence has left, and for your soul to find eternal serenity.

Sayings for Anniversary of Death for Husband or Wife

• In the quiet moments of today, I lift my prayers to heaven, asking for comfort and strength, missing you on this anniversary.
• As we mark another year without you, I send my heartfelt prayers, hoping you've found eternal tranquility. Your memory remains a compass, steering me through the journey of my life.
• Lord, embrace my beloved on this anniversary. Let the angels sing melodies of peace, and may their soul find eternal rest.
• On the anniversary of your passing, I offer a prayer of gratitude for the love we shared. May your spirit continue to watch over us from above.
• In the silence of remembrance, I send a prayer to the heavens, asking for the warmth of your love to surround us on this anniversary.
• God, on this day of remembering, I pray for my beloved's soul to be cradled in eternal peace. Grant us strength to carry the love they left behind.
• Lord, on this solemn day, I entrust my beloved into your care. May they find everlasting joy, and may our love continue to transcend time.

Words of Comfort on Anniversary of Death for Husband and Wife

• In my prayers today, I ask for the assurance that your spirit is at peace. Your love remains alive in my heart, and I miss you on this anniversary.
• On this day of reflection, I offer a prayer for the one I love. May your journey beyond be filled with the same love and light you brought into my life.
• Lord, I pray for the soul of my dearly departed on this anniversary. May they find eternal rest, and may the memories of our shared moments bring solace.
• In my quiet moments of remembrance, I send a prayer to the heavens, hoping that your spirit is surrounded by the beauty and peace you deserve.
• God, grant my beloved peace on this anniversary. May their soul bask in the eternal love that continues to echo through the memories we shared.
• On this day, I offer a prayer for the one who holds a forever place in my heart. May your soul find eternal comfort, and your memory bring smiles amid the tears.
• On this anniversary, I offer a prayer for my beloved. May the angels sing songs of serenity, and may their soul rest in the gentle embrace of eternity.
• Lord, as we mark another year without them, I pray for the strength to cherish the love we had and the faith that we will meet again in eternity.

What to Say on The Anniversary of A Death of Husband of Wife?

• In my prayers today, I express gratitude for the time we had together and seek comfort in the belief that your spirit is now at peace.
• As the years pass, my prayer is a simple one – may your soul find eternal bliss, and may your memory continue to be a source of comfort.

Conclusion 

Don't feel like you can't share your thoughts with those who've left us. When it comes to remembering their anniversaries, it's okay if finding the right words seems tough. But with these death anniversary messages, we've got a way to connect our feelings with the ones we miss. These aren't just words; they're a reminder that love goes on, even if they're not here. So, as we finish up, know that sharing your feelings and memories is a way to heal, and these words of comfort on anniversary of death are here to bring some comfort as you remember.

• 1. Death Anniversary Message for a Mother
• 2. Anniversary of Death Quotes for Dad
• 3. Quotes for Anniversary of a Death of Siblings
• 4. Death Anniversary Messages for Grandparents
• 5. Death Anniversary Quotes for Friend
• 6. Death Anniversary Prayer Quotes for Husband or Wife
• 7. Conclusion  

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