how to write a personal statement 250 words

250 Word Personal Statement Sample

by Talha Omer, MBA, M.Eng., Harvard & Cornell Grad

In personal statement samples by word limits.

A personal statement is an integral part of any university application. Some programs have strict word limits in place, while others do not have any word limits. Here is an example of a 250-word limit personal statement that was admitted to top programs in the US and Canada.

250 Word Personal Statement Example

When I was ten, my eight-year-old cousin went through a tragedy. She was trapped for 3 hours in her burning house. As a result of the trauma, she began experiencing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). I saw her torment, oscillating between sudden lapse of amnesia to complete withdrawal. She couldn’t sleep, often waking up in the middle of the night with night sweats and nightmares.

Nothing has etched itself deeper into my memory than watching her lose control of her mind. Her road to recovery was made possible only due to regular visits to the psychiatrist. She showed improvement, albeit slowly. I often wondered what special abilities the psychiatrist possessed that enabled him to remove her misery when no one couldn’t.

Later, in high school, I frequently volunteered at a mental health institute. Here, I came across patients who were suffering from PTSD. These patients’ history charts displayed a variety of symptoms. The following year, I wrote a report about PTSD and conducted extensive research. My work raised many questions regarding the individuality of people’s symptoms.

For hours, I read literature to answer my questions. However, these questions inevitably lead to new ones, creating a cycle. Finally, I realized that our mind is a complex entity that responds to extreme stress by deranging its standard response mechanism to cope. To find holistic answers, I wish to pursue a master’s degree in psychiatry, studying the human mind’s intricacies and removing patients from the misery they have no control over.

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100 Word Personal Statement Sample

A personal statement is an integral part of any university application. Some programs have strict word limits in place, while others do not have any word limits. Here is an example of a 100-word limit personal statement that was admitted to top programs in the US and...

150 Word Personal Statement Sample

A personal statement is an integral part of any university application. Some programs have strict word limits in place, while others do not have any word limits. Here is an example of a 150-word limit personal statement that was admitted to top programs in the US and...

800 Word Personal Statement Sample

A personal statement is an integral part of any university application. Some programs have strict word limits in place, while others do not have any word limits. Here is an example of a 800-word limit personal statement that was admitted to top programs in the US and...

1000 Word Personal Statement Sample

A personal statement is an integral part of any university application. Some programs have strict word limits in place, while others do not have any word limits. Here is an example of a 1000-word limit personal statement that was admitted to top programs in the US and...

700 Word Personal Statement Sample

A personal statement is an integral part of any university application. Some programs have strict word limits in place, while others do not have any word limits. Here is an example of a 700-word limit personal statement that was admitted to top programs in the US and...

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How to Write a Strong Personal Statement

• Ruth Gotian
• Ushma S. Neill

A few adjustments can get your application noticed.

Whether applying for a summer internship, a professional development opportunity, such as a Fulbright, an executive MBA program, or a senior leadership development course, a personal statement threads the ideas of your CV, and is longer and has a different tone and purpose than a traditional cover letter. A few adjustments to your personal statement can get your application noticed by the reviewer.

• Make sure you’re writing what they want to hear. Most organizations that offer a fellowship or internship are using the experience as a pipeline: It’s smart to spend 10 weeks and $15,000 on someone before committing five years and $300,000. Rarely are the organizations being charitable or altruistic, so align your stated goals with theirs
• Know when to bury the lead, and when to get to the point. It’s hard to paint a picture and explain your motivations in 200 words, but if you have two pages, give the reader a story arc or ease into your point by setting the scene.
• Recognize that the reviewer will be reading your statement subjectively, meaning you’re being assessed on unknowable criteria. Most people on evaluation committees are reading for whether or not you’re interesting. Stated differently, do they want to go out to dinner with you to hear more? Write it so that the person reading it wants to hear more.
• Address the elephant in the room (if there is one). Maybe your grades weren’t great in core courses, or perhaps you’ve never worked in the field you’re applying to. Make sure to address the deficiency rather than hoping the reader ignores it because they won’t. A few sentences suffice. Deficiencies do not need to be the cornerstone of the application.

At multiple points in your life, you will need to take action to transition from where you are to where you want to be. This process is layered and time-consuming, and getting yourself to stand out among the masses is an arduous but not impossible task. Having a polished resume that explains what you’ve done is the common first step. But, when an application asks for it, a personal statement can add color and depth to your list of accomplishments. It moves you from a one-dimensional indistinguishable candidate to someone with drive, interest, and nuance.

• Ruth Gotian is the chief learning officer and assistant professor of education in anesthesiology at Weill Cornell Medicine in New York City and the author of  The Success Factor . She was named the world’s #1 emerging management thinker by Thinkers50. You can access her free list of conversation starters . RuthGotian
• Ushma S. Neill is the Vice President, Scientific Education & Training at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in New York City. She runs several summer internships and is involved with the NYC Marshall Scholar Selection Committee. ushmaneill

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College Personal Statement: Examples (250 Words) & Guide

One day, out of nowhere, you suddenly need to know how to write a 250-word personal statement for a college application. Such pressure would give even great essayists writer’s block. And what exactly are you required to compose?

Our specialists will write a custom essay specially for you!

A personal statement is just an essay with a topic that focuses on the writer specifically. In all the best examples, college admissions committees are given real insights into applicants.

That is to say: Unfortunately, this article can’t give you a personal statement template because each is unique. However, our experts found some great college personal statement examples (250 words and 500 words). Below, you’ll see them and how to write a successful personal statement with our guidance.

• 🧔 What Is It?

🏁 Starting Off

💡 writing tips.

• 🎓 Graduate School
• ⚖️ Law School
• 🏥 Medical School

🧔 What Is a Personal Statement?

Many high school students think they have never written a 250-word personal statement before. But most of them are mistaken. Why is this? You have probably written plenty of personal essays as a high school student. Though, they differ from what you’ll have to deal with for your college application.

A personal statement should reveal information about its author (in other words, you). You cannot stay indifferent, discussing any topic within this task.

For example:

Just in 1 hour! We will write you a plagiarism-free paper in hardly more than 1 hour

A personal statement on literature should go beyond your opinion of your favorite book. (Definitely do not write a report !) Instead, it should indicate what your favorite book means to you . Similarly, if you’ve chosen to write about your favorite sport, you must write about how and why you feel about it. See the pattern?

Most of all:

Don’t forget that you are the star of your personal statement—no matter what, you are the topic.

🔑 Keys to 250-Word Personal Statement

Before getting into the details about what makes a college application special, let’s review essay writing fundamentals. These rules should guide you every time you sit down to compose your statement:

• Planning your writing is essential. Don’t throw an essay together at the last minute. Think about what you’re going to write, outline your personal statement, and then execute it.
• Be sure to use a solid writing structure , especially if you have a freeform essay prompt. Many college admissions essay prompts are freeform, but don’t let your personal statement format be freeform. However, this shouldn’t be a problem because you already know the best personal statement format! Always use a properly structured essay format with a clear introduction, thesis statement, body, and conclusion (like the 5-paragraph essay).
• The foundation of all good writing is rewriting—so don’t submit the first draft! You’re not a professional writer, but even acclaimed writers always need to edit and rewrite to perfect their prose. If you don’t have multiple drafts of your personal statement for college, you are in trouble. You even may want to use a reworder in order to make your text perfect.
• Make sure your essay addresses the prompt. The first and only impression most college applicants get to make is through their application essays. A strong personal statement should always address the prompt directly. If the admissions committee thinks you’ve adapted old writing for your application, they might think you don’t know how to follow directions.
• Get the reader’s attention by showing what makes you unique and a great applicant. Put yourself in the position of the college admissions staff. They read tons of essays. Accordingly, you should focus on grabbing the attention of the reader, but in the right way. Don’t lie, exaggerate, or try to be memorable for the wrong reason. Instead, find ways to emphasize the unique traits about yourself that would make you an ideal college student.
• …so start writing early and don’t procrastinate ! Rushed writing is typically bad writing. When you have the time to write (and rewrite), the finished product will be superior. If you know that you have an application essay due next month, try producing a draft today.
• … so don’t waste your reader’s time. This is the most important rule of writing. When an essay has to be 500 words in length, for example, make sure that you’ve chosen an appropriate topic. If you can only write 250 words on a subject and the rest is filler, your readers will feel like their time was wasted.

If you can follow this small handful of rules, you will be ahead of most college applicants. Remember, getting into college is a competition, so it is vital to learn how to write a strong personal statement.

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🌟 How to Write a 250-Word Personal Statement

So you’re finally ready to write your personal statement? You’ve Googled “write personal statement sample” and “how to start a college personal statement,” so now you know how to start a personal statement, right?

Not so fast:

Have you brainstormed? Have you written an outline? Have you developed the perfect thesis statement? If you haven’t performed these crucial steps, then you aren’t ready.

Here are a few more tips to ensure you get your personal statement started off on the right foot:

• Think about a similar writing process.

Ponder the following. A college application essay is just a persuasive essay in which you are trying to persuade your reader that you would make an excellent college student. Of course, you want to be more subtle, but the purpose of a personal statement for a college application is persuasion.

Get an originally-written paper according to your instructions!

• Read personal statement examples.

Many prestigious universities publish a handful of sample personal statements from successful applicants. These are the best sorts of personal statement examples, but you should be careful to avoid copying topics or language. Instead, pay attention to similarities to better understand the best format for a personal statement.

• Don’t goof up the simple formatting issues.

Nowadays, the physical formatting of your personal statement matters less than ever because so much text is directly submitted through the web. In case you need to send it as a Word document file, use a standard font like 12 point Arial or Times New Roman. Do not make tiny or huge margins.

Nonetheless, you may want to add a heading that includes your name. This way, you’ll be sure that you are given credit for your extraordinary personal statement—even if your printed essay is misplaced. Most importantly, check any formatting requirements and apply them before writing one word.

• Pay attention to the strengths of a school or program to which you are applying .

If you are applying to a college with strength in agriculture, you should write an essay that shows how well you understand crops or livestock. If you’re going to an engineering school, you should highlight your dexterity with calculations. In the case of a military academy, the last thing you want to do is describe how much you hate following rules.

Armed with these guidelines for a 250-word personal statement for college, you should be able to start writing an excellent essay to get into any school.

There are many tips for writing the best college application essay , and here are a few of the most vital.

• First : Remember the purpose of writing a personal statement for a college application.

The answer is to get into the colleges to which you are applying. You’re not writing to express yourself, though good personal essay examples typically do that. Instead, you need to impress a university staff member, reading dozens of papers every day for a month.

• Second : Select a topic that contributes to your success.

Since the goal is to get admitted to a college, you need to put your best foot forward. Try to choose a topic that highlights one of your most positive attributes.

Suppose you can write about a topic that clarifies what a great college student you will be—it’s excellent! Try to use your personal statement to show your incredible drive and resilient character inside the classroom and out. But again, don’t lie or exaggerate.

• Third: Write about activities that define your personality.

If possible, write about activities that are on your application elsewhere, but are not well described. In case you were a class president, you might want to mention that.

However, if you started a unique club that did charity work, tutoring, or anything else benefiting the community, this would be a superior topic. Class presidents are popular students, while students who create positive change in their communities are rare gems.

• Lastly: Never waste your reader’s time .

Follow the general rules given earlier in this article, but pay special attention to this one. The admissions staff that reads these college essays must read many application packets daily. They want to feel like every paper they read is worthy of their attention.

For this reason, never include filler in an admission essay. If there are any wasted words in your college personal statement (whether 500-word or 250-word one), cut them immediately.

🕵️ Specific Personal Statement Secrets

What if you’ve already been admitted to your dreams’ college? And now, your goal is to get into the graduate program. Or you’ve studied hard, done well in college, and decided to go to law school. Last but certainly not least, you may be applying to medical school.

You’ll need a personal statement that will get you in the school or program for all these cases. Below, we’ve gathered some tips for these particular instances.

🎓 Graduate School Personal Statement

Many students have to settle for safety schools when attending college. Still, graduate and professional institutions can provide a second chance to achieve your academic dreams.

Before you dust off the college application essay that got you into your current university, you should consider that graduate students’ standards are higher. You have to work a lot to get your Master’s degree or a Ph.D.

Here are a few tips that you should follow if you want to get into your dreams’ graduate program.

• Pick graduate programs to apply to that suit your strengths from your undergraduate education. This isn’t exactly a writing tip, but it is a tip that makes your writing much more manageable. When you sit down to write your grad school application essays, it can be relatively easy if your résumé screams that you are a perfect fit.
• Try to find and read more than one successful graduate school personal statement sample . If you are an overachieving undergraduate student, like many future grad students are, you may have strong relationships with your teaching assistants, instructors, and even professors. Many of these people may have graduate school 250-word personal statement examples from their graduate school applications. Many of them would be happy to share them with you if you promise to be nice. After reading a successful personal statement or two, you may see what is expected of a grad school applicant.
• Don’t be afraid to reach out to the graduate program or your future graduate advisors ahead of time. Graduate school is not like undergraduate programs—you will probably work very closely with a professor. Accordingly, you should email or even phone them before you apply. The content of your conversations will shape your personal statement. For example, you may know the professor you want to work with also wants to work with you. Then you should include that information in your personal statement.
• Get help from current or past grad students! Again, if you are an overachieving undergraduate, make sure to use your professional contacts to write the best essays possible. Some constructive criticism on your application materials could be just what you need to get admitted.

These tips are just the beginning of writing one of the best grad school essays that will be submitted to your graduate program of choice.

Above all else:

Remember to follow all the norms within your field. Every discipline and subject in graduate school has slightly different standards . Only use those tips applicable to your domain.

⚖️ Law School Personal Statement

Don’t make a boneheaded mistake with your law school personal statement! Following the rules outlined above is just a start. You’ll also need to read a few law school personal statements and pay attention to these specific features in the application process.

• Make sure to use crystal clear language. Practicing law is all about communicating logically and persuasively. These three elements of communication are the fundamentals of being a successful lawyer. If your essay does not demonstrate these qualities, you will probably not be admitted to law school.
• Don’t focus too much on your love of the legal professions or process. It is a little known fact that most lawyers never enter a courtroom in the average year. Trial lawyers make up a small percentage of lawyers. Most are corporate lawyers who use their expertise to advise their firms and write and analyze contracts. And of course, many individuals with law degrees use their legal knowledge, training, and skills for totally unrelated professions. Accordingly, you should focus on writing an essay that describes the positive attributes. Show what makes you well suited to learning and writing about law, rather than your long-term professional goals.
• If you do talk about the implications of a legal profession or its importance to you, be careful! If you insist on writing about your imagined future as a judge or your deep and eternal love of the law, make sure your writing does not contain inaccuracies. Remember, the people reading your law school personal statements are probably lawyers—and they almost certainly have better understandings of the law than you. If your law school personal statement contains any legal content, perhaps have a lawyer read it.

🏥 Medical School Personal Statement

Medical doctors, optometrists, and dentists each have their special schools with their stringent standards. As such, read some sample essays and follow these tips to ensure your success.

• If you are applying to medical school, be sure you apply to a program that might accept you. Be realistic when assessing your résumé, transcript, and MCAT scores. The medical schools you are applying to should be within reach. If you can match your desired schools’ qualifications, your medical school personal statement will be much easier to write. (However, one nice feature of med school personal statements is that you can often write an AMCAS personal statement and use it for multiple programs.)
• Demonstrate your skills as both a scholar and a scientist . Medical school in the 21st century is equal parts book smarts and scientific knowhow. If you have laboratory research experience, make sure to share it. If you’ve had scientific publications, they need to be a focus of your personal statement.

Thank you for reading! We hope all these tips were helpful, and now you can nail your college personal statement. Share the article with other people who may find it useful for their essay writing.

Further reading:

• Scholarship Essay Examples about Yourself
• How to Write a Scholarship Essay about Why You Deserve It
• Financial Assistance Essay: Useful Tips to Make It Rock
• How to Write an Essay Describing Your Financial Need
• Why I Want to be a Pharmacist Essay: Step-by-step Guide
• Why I Want to Be a Teacher Essay Writing Guide
• College Application Essay Writing Mistakes to Avoid

✏️ Personal Statement for College FAQ

Nearly any college or scholarship application procedure includes writing a specific paper. It may be a motivation letter, a personal statement, or an application essay, etc. A student should describe their background, provide relevant information about experience and goals, prove their motivation.

Applying for a scholarship implies writing a personal statement or a similar paper. If you want to succeed in it, look at multiple examples or even templates available online. Your main task is to highlight your strength and motivation.

For a college application, a standard format includes the following key points:

• Introduction (name, age, place of residence);
• Educational background (all levels + related courses);
• The desired program you’re applying for;
• Justification of your choice, your motivation;
• Relevant additional details about you.

A personal statement might look a little different, depending on the type of application. For grad school, college, masters, jobs – each one might have its peculiarities. The common principle is that it should be well-structured, contain relevant details about your background, and prove your strong motivation.

🔗 References

• How to Write a Great College Essay, Step-by-Step: Alex Heimbach, PrepScholar
• 10 Top Personal Statement Writing Tips: Studential
• Editing the Essay, Part One: Kim Cooper, for the Writing Center at Harvard University
• Popular College Application Essay Topics (and How to Answer Them): The Princeton Review
• Paragraph Structure: University of Maryland, Global Campus
• College Essay Examples, How to Write Your Story: US News
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College Personal Statement Examples (250 or 500 Words): Writing Guide

Congrats! You’ve passed the test! Now you need to write a personal statement section about your unique traits.

The primary question you have now sounds somewhat like “How to organize my personal statement to get enrolled?”

The good news is waiting for you on this page!

We have all the answers you need about the strategy of a personal statement: outline, tips, and good personal statement outline examples are here.

• 📍 Personal Statement Definition
• 📑 Personal Statement Outline
• 📏 Personal Statement Length
• ⛔ Personal Statement Mistakes
• ✔️ Personal Statement Examples: 250 Words
• ✔️ Personal Statement Examples: 500 Words

📍 Definition of a Personal Statement

Alright, it’s time to learn what exactly a personal statement is.

The personal statement is your chance to present yourself in the most flattering light to the application committee members or your potential institution/employer. It’s time to impress with your achievements, personality, and skills.

Note that there are several formats of presenting yourself while applying to an institution or a job:

• admission essay
• application essay
• personal statement
• statement of purpose

In fact, these concepts express the same idea: to sell yourself most advantageously. However, there are minor peculiarities. We’ll look upon them in the next paragraph!

Personal Statement VS Statement of Purpose

First of all, the personal statement is slightly less formal than the statement of purpose .

The next difference between them reflects in the contents:

A personal statement demonstrates your eagerness and motivation to get enrolled in a particular place. It has to show who you are.

A statement of purpose tells about your future goals and intentions: what benefit can you bring to an organization?

📑 Personal Statement for College Outline

The primary goal of a successful application essay is to highlight you among other candidates. For accomplishing that goal, the first essential is a well-organized personal statement outline.

This section will be meticulously studying the peculiarities of an outline of a personal statement for college.

How to Organize a Personal Statement

Before writing a personal statement outline, you should set up the primary goal of your application essay .

What result do you expect by writing it?

Most likely, you want your college application to bring you to the freshmen community eventually.

To get it, you have to include all the significant achievements. Thus, the next step is to brainstorm the ideas to choose from later.

Make up a list of the important things to mention in your application writing:

• Academic background details,
• Nuances of preparation and training process,
• Skills, researches, and awards,
• Your motivation.

This is just the beginning. Now let’s go deeper into the details of the structure.

Although a personal statement is not a regular academic essay, it has to follow a particular plan. It will be pretty similar to the outline of standard persuasive writing:

Once you’ve managed to write your draft, you’ll get a clue how to title your personal statement.

Personal Statement Intro

Imagine meeting someone for the first time. First impressions are very lasting, right? Especially when it comes to creating a personal statement. The key idea is: if your introduction hits home, the reader is yours. After reading a genuinely engaging intro, one wants to figure out what else you will tell.

However, a merely great intro is not enough to reach the goal. Keep in mind that the rest of your personal statement has to be strong too.

If you want to figure out how to organize a personal statement introduction, follow us. There are some crucial things to know.

Here is the recipe for a great intro:

• A hook for your readers’ attention: let it be a fact about you that sounds intriguing and engaging.
• Perform a brief but consistent introduction of yourself as a person. Who are you? What are the main traits that describe you as a personality and professional?
• Provide a piece of information concerning your background that is relatable for the position.
• Make sure each constituent in your intro connects well to another one, and the flow is smooth.

How to End an Application Essay / Personal Statement

It’s time to wind up, and you have some difficulties with how to end your application essay?

No reasons to worry!

Stay here, and you’ll learn about the ending of the personal statement for the college.

The final touch of the college admission paper is a firm conclusion. By saying ‘strong,’ we mean such one that leaves your admissions officer impressed and filled up with a desire to get you enrolled.

You can end your writing with the summary of facts mentioned before. It is crucial to link it all with the position you’re applying for.

• Write out all the significant facts about your background and goals.
• Say it in other words and add some information that is not brand new but specifies what you’ve said before.
• Let your readers know about plans in case you get enrolled. How will your life change?
• Organize your conclusion in a well-curated structure and proofread it.

📏 How Long Is a Personal Statement?

Whether you want to enter medical school in the UK or apply for law school in Canada, the rules are the same almost everywhere. To avoid dropping out of the format, you have to know how long a personal statement is.

What Is the Typical Recommended Length of a Personal Statement?

So, how long should a college application essay be?

• It should include approximately 350-500 words (2600-3000 symbols) or 1-2 pages in regular font and size. The most optimum option would be 1,5 pages with a clear-cut structure and distinguished paragraphs.

Remember, if you violate these prescriptions, your application might not be read further.

Writing a too short personal statement is also risky. An application officer is likely to doubt your skills and experience.

That is why you should stick to the words and paragraph limits as closely as possible.

⛔ 250-Words College Personal Statement Examples: How NOT to Do

To make a good impression, you have to know all the ins and outs.

But what about the red flags?

It’s also vital to know the potential mistakes.

So, let’s look at the bad examples to figure out the flaws you should avoid in your application letter.

Personal Statement Failure #1

One of the most common mistakes is too aggressive attempts to sell oneself. The apparent and even ridiculous lies go here, too. You can observe such errors in the following personal statement of a person who’s trying too hard to get to a medical school:

I am a natural-born doctor. Since I was two, everyone would call me a little Frankenstein because I performed numerous biological experiments with animals. All my family kept telling me I would make a perfect surgeon. When I was learning to speak, the first word in my vocabulary was “medicine.” My mother didn’t even get offended because it is evident that she created a remarkably gifted child. Since my childhood, I studied the inner world of local birds and frogs and performed surgeries on worms. I haven’t ever got any other mark in Biology except “excellent.” Biology and chemistry teachers always praised me for the outstanding results in various contests. I didn’t even spend time playing outside with my friends. All I ever did was studying, watching surgery tutorials, and consuming volumes of professional medical literature. I am grateful to my family for believing in me and my teachers for inspiration and knowledge. I am sure I can make a significant difference in this field with my eagerness and talent. I would be thrilled if you allowed me to enter your institution. So, dear committee members, I am kindly asking you to consider my application as a priority…

Experts analysis:

• Such solid and emotional words like “outstanding,” “perfect,” or “best of the best” don’t add to your professionalism.
• No matter how talented children may be, they are unlikely to have “medicine” as the first word. This piece seems ingenuine and misleading in general.
• Being cruel to animals in childhood is also not a golden ticket to a good university. Avoid such shocking details. Evaluate what you write about in terms of ethics.
• It’s hard to imagine a triter cliché than “to make a difference.”
• Avoid using too many intensifiers in your letter. Use rational arguments instead.
• At last, don’t beg application officers to take you. Let them make a decision based on your experience and skills.

Personal Statement Failure #2

The next disadvantage of a bad application essay is stale expressions and clichés.

My only dream ever was to enter the best law school. I have been craving to become the most fantastic lawyer of all ever existed on Earth. I suppose that my traits and characteristics will contribute to it amazingly. My considerable experience and outstanding skills make me the fittest candidate for your law college. I haven’t stopped reading law books and journals 24/7 for the last decade. I am also fond of true-crime TV shows and spent hours watching them. I am absolutely astonished by these professional and shrewd detectives. I wish I could become one of such. Once when I was 11, my neighbor gave me his Colt to learn how to shoot sparrows. Thus, you can be sure of my extensive knowledge in this sphere. I can’t wait to enter the best law school globally and learn from the best professionals in this field. I am eager to get through any challenges and difficulties because I have come through many such things during my life. For example, I lost my favorite dog when I was five years old. It was a brutal and highly traumatic experience. We used to spend a lot of time together, but I managed with the stress…

Expert analysis:

• Instead of a grasping hook, there is a bland and cliched sentence — all the school graduates “dream of becoming” someone.
• Too many excessive personal details giving no helpful information about an applicant’s background and fundamental skills.
• One has to enumerate specific skills and features that are needed for the position.
• Again, too many intensifiers also make the paper sound trite.
• Mentioning the Colt shooting is not the best option for one who wants to enter a law school. Probably, not the best thing to do for anyone.

Personal Statement Failure #3

Hello, dear committee members! I would like to present myself to you so you could see that I am a true gem for your institution. I want to start by describing my talents and natural abilities. I didn’t learn the alphabet. I was born with the ability to read, no cap. But it’s a trifle, for real. The top-notch fact about me is that I am a natural-born financier. You probably heard of Frank Cowperwood, did you? It is the most famous of Dreiser’s characters, a great financier, a banker. I am saying it in case you haven’t heard about it. I knew how to count since I was two years old. I also have been striking great bargains since childhood. My parents gave me fruits to school, and I sold them to my classmates. Well, at school, I wasn’t just a good financier. I also had absolutely outstanding results in math. Sometimes my teacher was so astonished by my knowledge that she asked me to conduct classes. In middle school, I started investing and already have my shares in all big companies. So I ask you to consider my application, so I could get started and yield benefits to your business school. If you refuse to get me enrolled, I am sure that you’ll regret it very soon because it’s the next Warren Buffet who’s writing this personal statement.

• Bragging: there’s so much of it that it seems like the author is joking.
• Using slang. The personal statement is the most inappropriate place for that. Instead of hobnobbing with application officers, you have to show how seriously you take the process and how responsible you can be.
• Impossible facts: avoid lying about yourself by all means.
• Too many repetitions: makes the speech bland and poor.
• The text isn’t divided into paragraphs, making it hard to read.

✔️ 250-Words College Personal Statement Examples: How to Do

Alright, it’s enough. It was pretty tough to deal with such awful personal statements, wasn’t it? Let’s switch our attention to much more pleasant things.

We would like to present good personal statement examples that you can use as samples and inspiration sources for yours!

A helpful tip: focus on the personal statement intro when reading good examples and put down ideas you can use in your essay!

Personal Statement Example #1

One of the most famous American physicians, Martin H. Fisher, once said: “Observation, reason, human understanding, courage; these make the physician.” These are the concepts I wish to pursue in my life. I have consciously chosen the path of growing more reasonable, understanding, helping, and courageous by becoming a doctor. While volunteering at a children’s hospital in my gap year, I’ve realized nursing or being a doctor is a challenging but worthy path. I am fully aware that becoming a professional and capable physician takes many years of careful study and work. This is one of the reasons I’ve decided to apply for the medical college in the first place. I admire the quality of knowledge your college gives to students, for I’ve met the school graduates of great competence and skills. Honestly speaking, I do not consider my experience in medicine prominent, but I’ve got the highest grades in biology and chemistry at high school. Besides, I’ve attended extracurricular classes and won special prizes for my research works. I have attached them to this letter. My desire to serve my best in this field is considerable, for I believe each person has their mission and purpose. Mine is saving people’s lives and contributing to the nation’s well-being. I would be most grateful if the respected application committee would consider my personal statement. I could give the promise to stick to your rules and code of laws and perform as well as I possibly can. I appreciate your reading my application letter and will be looking forward to receiving your feedback.

Expert comments:

• An essay starts with a relevant quotation by a famous and credible person. Such a hook catches an application officer’s attention at once.
• It’s good to talk about your previous experience relatable to the position. But be honest here, do not exaggerate facts.
• The applicant speaks about emotions and personal impressions from volunteering. It tells of good emotional intelligence.
• The would-be student is aware of the hardships of the profession and admits it.
• The tone of the message is polite and formal enough but not too much.

Personal Statement Example #2

A quotation by Henry Petroski, a famous American engineer, inspired me a lot once I read it: “As engineers, we were going to be in a position to change the world – not just study it.” This is what I aim for – making my contribution to changing this world for the better through engineering. Let me introduce myself to create an impression of my personality and decide whether I fit your institution correctly. I have graduated from a high school with honors and the highest rate in physics, maths, and chemistry. I mention it because I wish to deliver an idea that I have been greatly interested in science and engineering since my early childhood. At first, I got low marks because teachers at school considered me untalented. They would say that I’d never make anything in this field. This hardship didn’t bring me down. I wanted to prove that my interest and eagerness are much more significant than my natural abilities. I started to spend all evenings studying books on engineering and physics. By academic year 11, I won the city’s prize in the contest for inventing a device that helps reduce water consumption in a household. I would be happy to study engineering at your college because I get inspired by your professors and their noticeable results. I believe we could make this world a better place by inventing new helpful tools and improving the existing ones…

• Here we can also see a good hook – a quotation that reveals the author’s purposes and goals.
• The text is well-structured and divided into logical parts. It makes the personal statement easy to follow.
• The author writes respectfully, following the grammar and spelling rules. A personal trait – carefulness – is brought to the surface.
• An inspiring life story makes the audience believe the applicant’s keen desire and readiness to study and become a professional.

Personal Statement Example #3

One mystery has been haunting me my whole life. I’ve been trying to figure out whether life imitates art or vice versa. Creating my first drawings, I was wondering why this process is so soothing and enriching to me. I am perfectly aware of why I want to apply this knowledge in your art school and develop as an artist. The presence of painting and sculpture in my life is constant. I’ve been brought up by an art teacher who taught me the fundamentals. As a child and teenager, I was fascinated by the role of light, a harmony of proportions, composition. My home library was full of books: art history, various guides, and textbooks. Sometimes, some things and concepts were difficult to understand and implement, but I was stubborn and curious. I asked my parents to send me to summer art camp, where I learned and volunteered at different exhibitions and art performances. When I was in high school, I started to prepare myself for entering your institution. The prominent graduates of yours motivated and inspired me. I also participated in the contest of young artists that your institution conducted last year. It was a great happiness to win the first prize. At the moment, art doesn’t imitate life for me. Art is life itself, as I feel it this way. My main goal is to grow as an artist and open an art therapy center. I am sure that I can pursue my dreams by developing my skills at your art school. I also want to participate in global contests and exhibitions, to bring more glory to your institution.

• The author attracts the readers’ attention by mentioning some ‘mystery’ – a simple human curiosity keeps us reading.
• The famous quotation by Oscar Wilde is smoothly implemented into the text. The committee member understands that a person is well-informed: it’s a good sign.
• The applicant exposes their goals in a sophisticated and a little high-flown way but also very clear.
• Even though art is a very creative sphere, the author’s background seems to be distinguished and credible enough.
• The applicant also communicates a clear perspective of being useful for the institution.

Personal Statement for Scholarship: Sample 250 Words #4

John Muir once wrote, “In every walk with nature, one receives far more than he seeks.” As an aspiring ecologist, I have always been captivated by the intricate interconnectedness of the natural world and its profound impact on our lives. With this deep appreciation for the environment, I am applying for this scholarship. I am currently pursuing a degree in Ecology at Virginia College, where I have immersed myself in the study of ecosystems, conservation, and environmental sustainability. My coursework has equipped me with a strong foundation in ecological principles, and I have actively sought out opportunities to apply this knowledge in practical settings. For instance, I participated in a research project at Virginia Climate Center focused on the impact of climate change on local biodiversity, which allowed me to witness firsthand the urgency of addressing environmental issues. Furthermore, my passion for ecology extends beyond the academic realm. I have engaged in volunteer work with local conservation organizations, participating in habitat restoration projects and environmental education initiatives. In addition to my academic and extracurricular pursuits, I am driven by a personal connection to the natural world. Growing up in Birmingham, I have witnessed the effects of human activity on the local environment, motivating me to advocate for sustainable practices and conservation efforts in my community. This firsthand experience has fueled my determination to make a meaningful difference in the field of ecology. In conclusion, I am genuinely grateful for the opportunity to be considered for this scholarship. With this support, I am confident that I can continue to expand my knowledge, contribute to ecological research, and ultimately work toward a more sustainable future.

• The author effectively captures the reader’s attention by beginning with a compelling quote related to the theme of the personal statement.
• The personal statement showcases the candidate’s practical involvement in local conservation organizations, highlighting specific projects they have contributed to.
• The candidate provides clear and specific examples of their volunteer work, such as habitat restoration projects and environmental education initiatives, illustrating their direct impact on the environment and the community.
• The personal statement conveys the candidate’s genuine passion for environmental conservation and their dedication to making a meaningful difference.

✔️ 500-Word Personal Statement Examples

500-word personal statement example #1.

Steve Jobs once said: “And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.” It was part of his speech back in 2005 for Stanford students, and I’ve remembered it forever. I have the same passion that he did – computer science. I believe in the power of technology and that it should change our world for the better. This is why I’m looking forward to all the opportunities and challenges studying at your university can bring me. It’s funny, but my fascination with technologies started when I was a kid, playing PlayStation. Since I got it from my older brother, it broke down numerous times, and I fixed it all by myself. Then at school, I had my first computer science classes and got even more interested. I learned more about computer hardware and all the processes inside the motherboard. Most importantly, my professor showed us how to maximize computer efficiency and productivity. Then I became proficient at my first programming language, Python, and I started making my first simple websites. At that moment, I realized how creative IT could be! I found a way to combine my interest in technologies with artistic potential. I completed several online programming courses in high school to create my first IOS game. I remembered how excited I was about those old-school PlayStation games, so I did my best to create a similar one for the Apple devices. To accomplish this, I studied another programming language – Swift, which is primarily used for IOS apps. This experience showed me that every game on your phone has two sides: the code itself and the visuals. To make users enjoy graphics and feel the nostalgia of 90’s videogames, I took Photoshop courses. Now I have an extensive portfolio with motion designs and game concepts. Although my first game was mainly known among my classmates, I was happy to acquire many new skills! As a kid, I was a gamer, but now I am a young specialist in computer engineering, coding, and game design! And there is so much more to learn! My main goal for the future is to learn how to create games that would be entertaining and educational. I’m willing to learn more about IOS apps development for all sorts of devices to make people’s lives easier. I understand that computer science is not only about hardware and coding, so I’m looking forward to expanding my knowledge. One sphere that I’m particularly interested in studying in university is IT ethics. I genuinely believe that technologies cannot be used for any form of crime or hatred. By developing cybersecurity, we will be able to protect users. I’m ready to begin my studies and build a safer and brighter world around us.

• The personal statement starts with a nice hook, a quote. From the very beginning, it gives committee members a clue about the applicant´s sphere of interest, IT.
• The text has a form of storytelling that shows how creative the applicant is. This technique also catches attention and makes readers want to learn more.
• The applicant mentions their skills in the sphere, as well as their hobbies and plans for the future. That demonstrates the writer’s multiple interests and raises their chances!

500-Word Personal Statement Example #2

Did Shakespeare really exist? I’m not sure since there are so many conspiracy theories around his figure. But what I do know is that since I read Hamlet for the first time, I knew that one day I would become a play writer. This is how my journey started and brought me here, applying for your English literature program. When I was a kid and didn’t know how to write, I already had quite a bright imagination. The only way to express my creativity was to tell all those stories to my parents. They thought I should be an actress back then, so I joined a theatre club at school. I liked all the behind-the-scenes processes there, but I couldn’t find my niche. I tried myself as an actress, a part of a stage crew, and a dresser, but nothing felt right. Now I’m grateful that I have experience in these spheres since it helps me write plays and immediately visualize how to stage them. One day our theatre club prepared an original play about our school, so I had a chance to write my first script. Seeing people laughing and enjoying our performance was a unique feeling, and I promised myself to become a professional. Along with the theatre club, I took advanced classes in English literature in high school. We explored the most influential literature ever written, including works of my favorite: William Faulkner, Virginia Woolf, and Kurt Vonnegut. Step by step, I studied their writing styles and developed my own. Even though fiction has dramatically influenced my literature taste, my writings were mainly in poetry. I took Coursera courses on playwriting and storytelling to boost my writing skills. Those taught me about literary devices and techniques that brought my writing to a new level. I understood that skills are as essential as imagination. Slowly the plays I wrote for our school theatre got more complex; they raised philosophical topics of family bonds, first love, and self-realization. Our theatre crew took part in several festivals, which was a success! After graduating, I continued writing plays and short stories. Some of them were published in local newspapers, others I post online. I have more than 100,000 readers on Wattpad, but this is only the beginning. Fame is essential, but I believe every author has a deeper mission – to help others by sharing their own experience. I wish my readers or people who watch my plays find comfort and realize that they are not alone. I’ve learned a lot about classical authors, their writings, and existing storytelling techniques, and I feel like now is my time to create. I’m looking forward to starting an English literature major to broaden my creative horizons, as well as joining college theatre. Years later, newspapers will publish about a new Shakespeare, hopefully studying at your college!

• The author catches readers’ attention with a question hook, making them curious. The reference to Shakespeare also introduces the applicant’s preferences and interests.
• The text has some humor in it but is still written carefully and respectfully. It highlights the writing skills and creativity of an author.
• The applicant mentioned the courses they took as well as the literature they read so that the committee members have a clear picture.

How do you feel now?

Like an expert?

Well, it was the aim of our article. You got all the necessary information to make a great impression with your application letter.

Do you still have questions?

Get to the section below to make sure all the fundamental points of creating personal statements are digested and ready to be applied!

What is a personal statement?

A personal statement is a presentation of your most noticeable results, significant experience, and skills in the form of an essay. You write a personal statement when you apply for graduate school, university, residency to get a scholarship or a job.

How to title a personal statement?

The name of the document goes first (for instance, “Personal Statement” or “Application letter”). The personal statement title should also include vital information about the institution you are applying for and your name.

How long should a college application essay be?

If we speak about a college application essay, its length usually ranges from 400 to 600 words.

What are the success keys for a personal statement for college?

– A good structure, – Excellent grammar and spelling, – Rich but appropriate vocabulary, – Actual facts about your background, – The polite and friendly tone of voice, – Specification of your achievements relatable for a position.

What are the common mistakes in a personal statement for college?

– Bragging and showing off, – Poor grammar and inappropriate language, – Lies, exaggeration, misleading facts, – Too formal or too nonchalant manner of speaking, – Lack of true facts backing up your capability, – Too much drama and emotions.

Useful Links

• Personal Statement | Office of Career Services | Harvard University
• UCAS Personal Statement Tool – Learn what to write about
• How to Write a UCAS Personal Statement | Structure, Length & Tips | University of Portsmouth
• The Personal Statement // Purdue Writing Lab
• How to Write a Powerful Personal Statement | Indeed.com
• Personal Statements | Writing Center
• Writing the Personal Statement | Berkeley Graduate Division

I want to pursue architechture as my career,can you please help me out in geting some good examples of eassys regarding this field

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• Features for Work
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• Grammar Guide

How to Write a Personal Statement (with Tips and Examples)

Hannah Yang

Table of Contents

What is a personal statement, 6 tips on how to write a personal statement, personal statement examples (for college and university), faqs about writing personal statements, conclusion on how to write a personal statement.

How do you tell someone who you are in just a few hundred words?

It’s certainly no easy task, but it’s one almost every college applicant must do. The personal statement is a crucial part of any college or university application.

So, how do you write a compelling personal statement?

In this article, we’ll give you all the tools, tips, and examples you need to write an effective personal statement.

A personal statement is a short essay that reveals something important about who you are. It can talk about your background, your interests, your values, your goals in life, or all of the above.

Personal statements are required by many college admission offices and scholarship selection committees. They’re a key part of your application, alongside your academic transcript, standardized test scores, and extracurricular activities.

The reason application committees ask you to write a personal statement is so they can get to know who you are. 

Some personal statements have specific prompts, such as “Discuss a period of personal growth in your life” or “Tell us about a challenge or failure you’ve faced.” Others are more open-ended with prompts that essentially boil down to “Tell us about yourself.”

No matter what the prompt is, your goal is the same: to make yourself stand out to the selection committee as a strong candidate for their program.

Here are some things a personal statement can be:

It can be funny. If you have a great sense of humor, your personal statement is a great place to let that shine.  

It can be vulnerable. Don’t be afraid to open up about hardships in your life or failures you’ve experienced. Showing vulnerability can make you sound more like a real person rather than just a collection of application materials.  

It can be creative. Candidates have got into top schools with personal statements that take the form of “a day in the life” descriptions, third-person short stories, and even cooking recipes.

Now we’ve talked about what a personal statement is, let’s quickly look at what a personal statement isn’t:

It isn’t a formal academic paper. You should write the personal statement in your natural voice, using first-person pronouns like “I” and “me,” not in the formal, objective language you would use to write an academic paper.

It isn’t a five-paragraph essay. You should use as many paragraphs as you need to tell your story instead of sticking to the essay structure you learned in school.

It isn’t a resumé. You should try to describe yourself by telling a clear and cohesive story rather than providing a jumbled list of all of your accomplishments and ambitions.

Here are our top six tips for writing a strong personal statement.

Tip 1: Do Some Serious Self-Reflection

The hardest part of writing a personal statement isn’t the actual process of writing it.

Before you start typing, you have to figure out what to write about. And that means taking some time to reflect on who you are and what’s important in your life.

Here are some useful questions you can use to start your self-reflection. You can either answer these on your own by writing down your answers, or you can ask a trusted friend to listen as you talk about them together.

What were the key moments that shaped your life? (e.g. an important friendship, a travel experience, an illness or injury)

What are you proud of? (e.g. you’re a good listener, you always keep your promises, you’re a talented musician)

How do you choose to spend your time? (e.g. reading, practicing soccer, spending time with your friends)

What inspires you? (e.g. your grandmother, a celebrity, your favorite song)

Doing this self-reflection is crucial for figuring out the perfect topics and anecdotes you can use to describe who you are.

Tip 2: Try to Avoid Cliché Topics

College application committees read thousands of personal statements a year. That means there are some personal statement topics they see over and over again.

Here are a few examples of common personal statement topics that have become cliché:

Winning a tournament or sports game

Volunteering in a foreign country

Moving to a new home

Becoming an older sibling

Being an immigrant or having immigrant parents

If you want to make a strong impression in the application process, you need to make your personal statement stand out from the crowd.

But if your chosen personal statement topic falls into one of these categories, that doesn’t necessarily mean you shouldn’t use it. Just make sure to put a unique spin on it so it still delivers something the committee hasn’t seen before.

Good writing = better grades

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Tip 3: Show, Don’t Tell

One common mistake you might make in your personal statement is to simply tell the reader what you want them to know about you, such as by stating “I have a fear of public speaking” or “I love to cook.”

Instead of simply stating these facts, you should show the committee what you’re talking about through a story or scene, which will make your essay much more immersive and memorable.

For example, let’s say you want the committee to know you overcame your fear of public speaking. Instead of writing “I overcame my fear of public speaking,” show them what it was like to be onstage in front of a microphone. Did your palms get clammy? Did you feel light-headed? Did you forget your words?

Or let’s say you want the committee to know you love to cook. Instead of writing “I love to cook,” show them why you love to cook. What’s your favorite dish to cook? What does the air smell like when you’re cooking it? What kitchen appliances do you use to make it?

Tip 4: Connect the Story to Why You’re Applying

Don’t forget that the purpose of your personal statement isn’t simply to tell the admissions committee who you are. That’s an important part of it, of course, but your ultimate goal is to convince them to choose you as a candidate.

That means it’s important to tie your personal story to your reasons for applying to this specific school or scholarship. Finish your essay with a strong thesis.

For example, if your story is about overcoming your fear of public speaking, you might connect that story to your ambition of becoming a politician. You can then tie that to your application by saying, “I want to apply to this school because of its fantastic politics program, which will give me a perfect opportunity to use my voice.”

Tip 5: Write in Your Own Voice

The personal statement isn’t supposed to be written in a formal tone. That’s why they’re called “personal” statements because you have to shape it to fit your own voice and style.

Don’t use complicated or overwrought language. You don’t need to fill your essay with semicolons and big words, unless that’s how you sound in real life.

One way to write in your own voice is by speaking your personal statement out loud. If it doesn’t feel natural, it may need changing. 

Tip 6: Edit, Edit, Edit!

It’s important to revise your personal statement multiple times in order to make sure it’s as close to perfect as possible.

A single typo won’t kill your application, but if your personal statement contains multiple spelling errors or egregious grammar mistakes, you won’t be putting your best foot forward.

ProWritingAid can help you make sure your personal statement is as clean as possible. In addition to catching your grammar errors, typos, and punctuation mistakes, it will also help you improve weaknesses in your writing, such as passive voice, unnecessary repetition, and more.

Let’s look at some of the best personal statements that have worked for successful candidates in the real world. 

Harvard Personal Statement Example

Love. For a word describing such a powerful emotion, it is always in the air. The word “love” has become so pervasive in everyday conversation that it hardly retains its roots in blazing passion and deep adoration. In fact, the word is thrown about so much that it becomes difficult to believe society isn’t just one huge, smitten party, with everyone holding hands and singing “Kumbaya.” In films, it’s the teenage boy’s grudging response to a doting mother. At school, it’s a habitual farewell between friends. But in my Chinese home, it’s never uttered. Watching my grandmother lie unconscious on the hospital bed, waiting for her body to shut down, was excruciatingly painful. Her final quavering breaths formed a discordant rhythm with the steady beep of hospital equipment and the unsympathetic tapping hands of the clock. That evening, I whispered—into unhearing ears—the first, and only, “I love you” I ever said to her, my rankling guilt haunting me relentlessly for weeks after her passing. My warm confession seemed anticlimactic, met with only the coldness of my surroundings—the blank room, impassive doctors, and empty silence. I struggled to understand why the “love” that so easily rolled off my tongue when bantering with friends dissipated from my vocabulary when I spoke to my family. Do Chinese people simply love less than Americans do?

This is an excerpt from a personal statement that got the applicant admitted to Harvard University. The applicant discusses her background as a Chinese-American by musing on the word “love” and what that means within her family.

The writer uses vulnerable details about her relationship with her grandmother to give the reader an understanding of where she comes from and how her family has shaped her.  

You can read the full personal statement on the Harvard Crimson website.

Tufts Personal Statement Example

My first dream job was to be a pickle truck driver. I saw it in my favorite book, Richard Scarry’s “Cars and Trucks and Things That Go,” and for some reason, I was absolutely obsessed with the idea of driving a giant pickle. Much to the discontent of my younger sister, I insisted that my parents read us that book as many nights as possible so we could find goldbug, a small little golden bug, on every page. I would imagine the wonderful life I would have: being a pig driving a giant pickle truck across the country, chasing and finding goldbug. I then moved on to wanting to be a Lego Master. Then an architect. Then a surgeon. Then I discovered a real goldbug: gold nanoparticles that can reprogram macrophages to assist in killing tumors, produce clear images of them without sacrificing the subject, and heat them to obliteration. Suddenly the destination of my pickle was clear. I quickly became enveloped by the world of nanomedicine; I scoured articles about liposomes, polymeric micelles, dendrimers, targeting ligands, and self-assembling nanoparticles, all conquering cancer in some exotic way. Completely absorbed, I set out to find a mentor to dive even deeper into these topics. After several rejections, I was immensely grateful to receive an invitation to work alongside Dr. Sangeeta Ray at Johns Hopkins.

This is the beginning of a personal statement by Renner Kwittken, who was admitted into Tufts University as a pre-medical student.

Renner uses a humorous anecdote about being a pickle truck driver to describe his love for nanomedicine and how he got involved in his field. You can feel his passion for medicine throughout his personal statement.

You can find Renner’s full essay on the Tufts Admissions page.

Law School Personal Statement Essay Example

For most people, the slap on the face that turns their life around is figurative. Mine was literal. Actually, it was a punch delivered by a drill sergeant at Fort Dix, New Jersey, while I was in basic training. That day’s activity, just a few weeks into the program, included instruction in “low-crawling,” a sensible method of moving from one place to another on a battlefield. I felt rather clever for having discovered that, by looking right rather than down, I eliminated my helmet’s unfortunate tendency to dig into the ground and slow my progress. I could thus advance more easily, but I also exposed my unprotected face to hostile fire. Drill sergeants are typically very good at detecting this type of laziness, and mine was an excellent drill sergeant. So, after his repeated suggestions that I correct my performance went unheeded, he drove home his point with a fist to my face. We were both stunned. This was, after all, the New Army, and striking a trainee was a career-ending move for a drill sergeant, as we were both aware. I could have reported him; arguably, I should have. I didn’t. It didn’t seem right for this good sergeant, who had not slept for almost four days, to lose his career for losing his temper with my laziness. Choosing not to report him was the first decision I remember making that made me proud.

These are the first three paragraphs of an anonymous personal statement by a Wheaton College graduate, who used this personal statement to get into a top-25 law school.

This statement describes a time the applicant faced a challenging decision while in the army. He ended up making a decision he was proud of, and as a result, the personal statement gives us a sense of his character.

You can find the full essay on the Wheaton Academics website.

Here are some common questions about how to write a personal statement.

How Long Should a Personal Statement Be?

The length of your personal statement depends on the specific program you’re applying to. The application guidelines usually specify a maximum word count or an ideal word count.  

Most personal statements are between 500–800 words. That’s a good general range to aim for if you don’t have more specific guidelines.  

Should Personal Statements Be Different for Scholarships?

Many scholarship applications will ask for personal statements with similar prompts to those of college applications.

However, the purpose of a personal statement you’d write for a scholarship application is different from the purpose of one you’d write for a college application.

For a scholarship application, your goal is to showcase why you deserve the scholarship. To do that, you need to understand the mission of the organization offering that scholarship.

For example, some scholarships are meant to help first-generation college students get their degree, while others are meant to help women break into STEM.

Consider the following questions:

Why is this organization offering scholarships?

What would their ideal scholarship candidate look like?

How do your experiences and goals overlap with those of their ideal scholarship candidate?

You can use the same personal anecdotes you’d use for any other personal statement, but you’ll have a better chance of winning the scholarship if you tailor your essay to match their specific mission.

How to Start a Personal Statement

You should start your personal statement with a “hook” that pulls the reader in. The sooner you catch the reader’s attention, the more likely they’ll want to read the entire essay.

Here are some examples of hooks you can use:

A story (e.g. When the spotlight hit my face, I tried to remind myself to breathe. )

A setting description (e.g. My bedroom floor is covered with dirty laundry, candy wrappers, and crumpled sheet music. )

A funny anecdote (e.g. When I was a little kid, my friends nicknamed me Mowgli because of my haircut. )

A surprising fact (e.g. I've lived in 37 countries .)

There you have it—our complete guide to writing a personal statement that will make you stand out to the application committee.

Here’s a quick recap: 

A personal statement is a short essay that shows an application committee who you are

Start with a strong hook that pulls the reader in

Tell a story to engage the reader 

Write in your own voice, not in a formal tone

Good luck, and happy writing!

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Sat / act prep online guides and tips, what is a personal statement everything you need to know about the college essay.

College Admissions , College Essays

In addition to standardized test scores and transcripts, a personal statement or essay is a required part of many college applications. The personal statement can be one of the most stressful parts of the application process because it's the most open ended.

In this guide, I'll answer the question, "What is a personal statement?" I'll talk through common college essay topics and what makes for an effective personal statement.

College Essay Glossary

Even the terminology can be confusing if you aren't familiar with it, so let's start by defining some terms:

Personal statement —an essay you write to show a college admissions committee who you are and why you deserve to be admitted to their school. It's worth noting that, unlike "college essay," this term is used for application essays for graduate school as well.

College essay —basically the same as a personal statement (I'll be using the terms interchangeably).

Essay prompt —a question or statement that your college essay is meant to respond to.

Supplemental essay —an extra school or program-specific essay beyond the basic personal statement.

Many colleges ask for only one essay. However, some schools do ask you to respond to multiple prompts or to provide supplemental essays in addition to a primary personal statement.

Either way, don't let it stress you out! This guide will cover everything you need to know about the different types of college essays and get you started thinking about how to write a great one:

• Why colleges ask for an essay
• What kinds of essay questions you'll see
• What sets great essays apart
• Tips for writing your own essay

Why Do Colleges Ask For an Essay?

There are a couple of reasons that colleges ask applicants to submit an essay, but the basic idea is that it gives them more information about you, especially who you are beyond grades and test scores.

#1: Insight Into Your Personality

The most important role of the essay is to give admissions committees a sense of your personality and what kind of addition you'd be to their school's community . Are you inquisitive? Ambitious? Caring? These kinds of qualities will have a profound impact on your college experience, but they're hard to determine based on a high school transcript.

Basically, the essay contextualizes your application and shows what kind of person you are outside of your grades and test scores . Imagine two students, Jane and Tim: they both have 3.5 GPAs and 1200s on the SAT. Jane lives in Colorado and is the captain of her track team; Tim lives in Vermont and regularly contributes to the school paper. They both want to be doctors, and they both volunteer at the local hospital.

As similar as Jane and Tim seem on paper, in reality, they're actually quite different, and their unique perspectives come through in their essays. Jane writes about how looking into her family history for a school project made her realize how the discovery of modern medical treatments like antibiotics and vaccines had changed the world and drove her to pursue a career as a medical researcher. Tim, meanwhile, recounts a story about how a kind doctor helped him overcome his fear of needles, an interaction that reminded him of the value of empathy and inspired him to become a family practitioner. These two students may seem outwardly similar but their motivations and personalities are very different.

Without an essay, your application is essentially a series of numbers: a GPA, SAT scores, the number of hours spent preparing for quiz bowl competitions. The personal statement is your chance to stand out as an individual.

#2: Evidence of Writing Skills

A secondary purpose of the essay is to serve as a writing sample and help colleges see that you have the skills needed to succeed in college classes. The personal statement is your best chance to show off your writing , so take the time to craft a piece you're really proud of.

That said, don't panic if you aren't a strong writer. Admissions officers aren't expecting you to write like Joan Didion; they just want to see that you can express your ideas clearly.

No matter what, your essay should absolutely not include any errors or typos .

#3: Explanation of Extenuating Circumstances

For some students, the essay is also a chance to explain factors affecting their high school record. Did your grades drop sophomore year because you were dealing with a family emergency? Did you miss out on extracurriculars junior year because of an extended medical absence? Colleges want to know if you struggled with a serious issue that affected your high school record , so make sure to indicate any relevant circumstances on your application.

Keep in mind that in some cases there will be a separate section for you to address these types of issues, as well as any black marks on your record like expulsions or criminal charges.

#4: Your Reasons for Applying to the School

Many colleges ask you to write an essay or paragraph about why you're applying to their school specifically . In asking these questions, admissions officers are trying to determine if you're genuinely excited about the school and whether you're likely to attend if accepted .

I'll talk more about this type of essay below.

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What Kind of Questions Do Colleges Ask?

Thankfully, applications don't simply say, "Please include an essay about yourself"; they include a question or prompt that you're asked to respond to . These prompts are generally pretty open-ended and can be approached in a lot of different ways .

Nonetheless, most questions fall into a few main categories. Let's go through each common type of prompt, with examples from the Common Application, the University of California application, and a few individual schools.

Prompt Type 1: Your Personal History

This sort of question asks you to write about a formative experience, important event, or key relationship from your life . Admissions officers want to understand what is important to you and how your background has shaped you as a person.

These questions are both common and tricky. The most common pit students fall into is trying to tell their entire life stories. It's better to focus in on a very specific point in time and explain why it was meaningful to you.

Common App 1

Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

Common App 5

Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.

University of California 2

Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.

University of California 6

Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom.

Prompt Type 2: Facing a Problem

A lot of prompts deal with how you solve problems, how you cope with failure, and how you respond to conflict. College can be difficult, both personally and academically, and admissions committees want to see that you're equipped to face those challenges .

The key to these types of questions is to identify a real problem, failure, or conflict ( not a success in disguise) and show how you adapted and grew from addressing the issue.

Common App 2

The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

Harvard University 7

The Harvard College Honor Code declares that we “hold honesty as the foundation of our community.” As you consider entering this community that is committed to honesty, please reflect on a time when you or someone you observed had to make a choice about whether to act with integrity and honesty.

Prompt Type 3: Diversity

Most colleges are pretty diverse, with students from a wide range of backgrounds. Essay questions about diversity are designed to help admissions committees understand how you interact with people who are different from you .

In addressing these prompts, you want to show that you're capable of engaging with new ideas and relating to people who may have different beliefs than you.

Common App 3

Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?

Johns Hopkins University

Tell us about an aspect of your identity (e.g., race, gender, sexuality, religion, community) or a life experience that has shaped you as an individual and how that influenced what you’d like to pursue in college at Hopkins.  This can be a future goal or experience that is either [sic] academic, extracurricular, or social.

Duke University Optional 1

We believe a wide range of personal perspectives, beliefs, and lived experiences are essential to making Duke a vibrant and meaningful living and learning community. Feel free to share with us anything in this context that might help us better understand you and what you might bring to our community. 

Prompt Type 4: Your Future Goals

This type of prompt asks about what you want to do in the future: sometimes simply what you'd like to study, sometimes longer-term career goals. Colleges want to understand what you're interested in and how you plan to work towards your goals.

You'll mostly see these prompts if you're applying for a specialized program (like pre-med or engineering) or applying as a transfer student. Some schools also ask for supplementary essays along these lines. 

University of Southern California (Architecture)

Princeton Supplement 1

Prompt Type 5: Why This School

The most common style of supplemental essay is the "why us?" essay, although a few schools with their own application use this type of question as their main prompt. In these essays, you're meant to address the specific reasons you want to go to the school you're applying to .

Whatever you do, don't ever recycle these essays for more than one school.

Chapman University

There are thousands of universities and colleges. Why are you interested in attending Chapman?

Columbia University

Why are you interested in attending Columbia University? We encourage you to consider the aspect(s) that you find unique and compelling about Columbia.

Rice University

Based upon your exploration of Rice University, what elements of the Rice experience appeal to you?

Princeton University

Princeton has a longstanding commitment to understanding our responsibility to society through service and civic engagement. How does your own story intersect with these ideals?

Prompt Type 6: Creative Prompts

More selective schools often have supplemental essays with stranger or more unique questions. University of Chicago is notorious for its weird prompts, but it's not the only school that will ask you to think outside the box in addressing its questions.

University of Chicago

“Vlog,” “Labradoodle,” and “Fauxmage.” Language is filled with portmanteaus. Create a new portmanteau and explain why those two things are a “patch” (perfect match).

University of Vermont

Established in Burlington, VT, Ben & Jerry’s is synonymous with both ice cream and social change. The “Save Our Swirled” flavor raises awareness of climate change, and “I Dough, I Dough” celebrates marriage equality. If you worked alongside Ben & Jerry, what charitable flavor would you develop and why?

What Makes a Strong Personal Statement?

OK , so you're clear on what a college essay is, but you're still not sure how to write a good one . To help you get started, I'm going to explain the main things admissions officers look for in students' essays: an engaging perspective, genuine moments, and lively writing .

I've touched on these ideas already, but here, I'll go into more depth about how the best essays stand out from the pack.

Showing Who You Are

A lot of students panic about finding a unique topic, and certainly writing about something unusual like a successful dating app you developed with your friends or your time working as a mall Santa can't hurt you. But what's really important isn't so much what you write about as how you write about it . You need to use your subject to show something deeper about yourself.

Look at the prompts above: you'll notice that they almost all ask you what you learned or how the experience affected you. Whatever topic you pick, you must be able to specifically address how or why it matters to you .

Say a student, Will, was writing about the mall Santa in response to Common App prompt number 2 (the one about failure): Will was a terrible mall Santa. He was way too skinny to be convincing and the kids would always step on his feet. He could easily write 600 very entertaining words describing this experience, but they wouldn't necessarily add up to an effective college essay.

To do that, he'll need to talk about his motivations and his feelings: why he took such a job in the first place and what he did (and didn't) get out of it. Maybe Will took the job because he needed to make some money to go on a school trip and it was the only one he could find. Despite his lack of enthusiasm for screaming children, he kept doing it because he knew if he persevered through the whole holiday season he would have enough money for his trip. Would you rather read "I failed at being a mall Santa" or "Failing as a mall Santa taught me how to persevere no matter what"? Admissions officers definitely prefer the latter.

Ultimately, the best topics are ones that allow you to explain something surprising about yourself .

Since the main point of the essay is to give schools a sense of who you are, you have to open up enough to let them see your personality . Writing a good college essay means being honest about your feelings and experiences even when they aren't entirely positive.

In this context, honesty doesn't mean going on at length about the time you broke into the local pool at night and nearly got arrested, but it does mean acknowledging when something was difficult or upsetting for you. Think about the mall Santa example above. The essay won't work unless the writer genuinely acknowledges that he was a bad Santa and explains why.

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Eloquent Writing

As I mentioned above, colleges want to know that you are a strong enough writer to survive in college classes . Can you express your ideas clearly and concisely? Can you employ specific details appropriately and avoid clichés and generalizations? These kinds of skills will serve you well in college (and in life!).

Nonetheless, admissions officers recognize that different students have different strengths. They aren't looking for a poetic magnum opus from someone who wants to be a math major. (Honestly, they aren't expecting a masterwork from anyone , but the basic point stands.) Focus on making sure that your thoughts and personality come through, and don't worry about using fancy vocabulary or complex rhetorical devices.

Above all, make sure that you have zero grammar or spelling errors . Typos indicate carelessness, which will hurt your cause with admissions officers.

Top Five Essay-Writing Tips

Now that you have a sense of what colleges are looking for, let's talk about how you can put this new knowledge into practice as you approach your own essay. Below, I've collected my five best tips from years as a college essay counselor.

#1: Start Early!

No matter how much you want to avoid writing your essay, don't leave it until the last minute . One of the most important parts of the essay writing process is editing, and editing takes a lot of time. You want to be able to put your draft in a drawer for a week and come back to it with fresh eyes. You don't want to be stuck with an essay you don't really like because you have to submit your application tomorrow.

You need plenty of time to experiment and rewrite, so I would recommend starting your essays at least two months before the application deadline . For most students, that means starting around Halloween, but if you're applying early, you'll need to get going closer to Labor Day.

Of course, it's even better to get a head start and begin your planning earlier. Many students like to work on their essays over the summer, when they have more free time, but you should keep in mind that each year's application isn't usually released until August or September. Essay questions often stay the same from year to year, however. If you are looking to get a jump on writing, you can try to confirm with the school (or the Common App) whether the essay questions will be the same as the previous year's.

#2: Pick a Topic You're Genuinely Excited About

One of the biggest mistakes students make is trying to write what they think the committee wants to hear. The truth is that there's no "right answer" when it comes to college essays . T he best topics aren't limited to specific categories like volunteer experiences or winning a tournament. Instead, they're topics that actually matter to the writer .

"OK," you're thinking, "but what does she mean by 'a topic that matters to you'? Because to be perfectly honest, right now, what really matters to me is that fall TV starts up this week, and I have a feeling I shouldn't write about that."

You're not wrong (although some great essays have been written about television ). A great topic isn't just something that you're excited about or that you talk to your friends about; it's something that has had a real, describable effect on your perspective .

This doesn't mean that you should overemphasize how something absolutely changed your life , especially if it really didn't. Instead, try to be as specific and honest as you can about how the experience affected you, what it taught you, or what you got out of it.

Let's go back to the TV idea. Sure, writing an essay about how excited you are for the new season of Stranger Things  probably isn't the quickest way to get yourself into college, but you could write a solid essay (in response to the first type of prompt) about how SpongeBob SquarePants was an integral part of your childhood. However, it's not enough to just explain how much you loved SpongeBob—you must also explain why and how watching the show every day after school affected your life. For example, maybe it was a ritual you shared with your brother, which showed you how even seemingly silly pieces of pop culture can bring people together. Dig beneath the surface to show who you are and how you see the world.

When you write about something you don't really care about, your writing will come out clichéd and uninteresting, and you'll likely struggle to motivate yourself. When you instead write about something that is genuinely important to you, you can make even the most ordinary experiences—learning to swim, eating a meal, or watching TV—engaging .

#3: Focus on Specifics

But how do you write an interesting essay? Focus.

Don't try to tell your entire life story or even the story of an entire weekend; 500–650 words may seem like a lot, but you'll reach that limit quickly if you try to pack every single thing that has happened to you into your essay. If, however, you just touch on a wide range of topics, you'll end up with an essay that reads more like a résumé.

Instead, narrow in on one specific event or idea, and talk about it in more depth . The narrower your topic, the better. For example, writing about your role as Mercutio in your school's production of Romeo and Juliet is too general, but writing about opening night, when everything went wrong, could be a great topic.

Whatever your topic, use details to help draw the reader in and express your unique perspective. But keep in mind that you don't have to include every detail of what you did or thought; stick to the important and illustrative ones.

#4: Use Your Own Voice

College essays aren't academic assignments; you don't need to be super formal. Instead, try to be yourself. The best writing sounds like a more eloquent version of the way you talk .

Focus on using clear, simple language that effectively explains a point or evokes a feeling. To do so, avoid the urge to use fancy-sounding synonyms when you don't really know what they mean. Contractions are fine; slang, generally, is not. Don't hesitate to write in the first person.

A final note: you don't need to be relentlessly positive. It's OK to acknowledge that sometimes things don't go how you want—just show how you grew from that.

#5: Be Ruthless

Many students want to call it a day after writing a first draft, but editing is a key part of writing a truly great essay. To be clear, editing doesn't mean just making a few minor wording tweaks and cleaning up typos; it means reading your essay carefully and objectively and thinking about how you could improve it .

Ask yourself questions as you read: is the progression of the essay clear? Do you make a lot of vague, sweeping statements that could be replaced with more interesting specifics? Do your sentences flow together nicely? Do you show something about yourself beyond the surface level?

You will have to delete and rewrite (potentially large) parts of your essay, and no matter how attached you feel to something you wrote, you might have to let it go . If you've ever heard the phrase "kill your darlings," know that it is 100% applicable to college essay writing.

At some point, you might even need to rewrite the whole essay. Even though it's annoying, starting over is sometimes the best way to get an essay that you're really proud of.

What's Next?

Make sure to check out our other posts on college essays , including our step-by-step guide to how to write your college essay , our analysis of the Common App Prompts , and our collection of example essays .

If you're in need of guidance on other parts of the application process , take a look at our guides to choosing the right college for you , writing about extracurriculars , deciding to double major , and requesting teacher recommendations .

Last but not least, if you're planning on taking the SAT one last time , check out our ultimate guide to studying for the SAT and make sure you're as prepared as possible.

Want to improve your SAT score by 160 points or your ACT score by 4 points? We've written a guide for each test about the top 5 strategies you must be using to have a shot at improving your score. Download it for free now:

Alex is an experienced tutor and writer. Over the past five years, she has worked with almost a hundred students and written about pop culture for a wide range of publications. She graduated with honors from University of Chicago, receiving a BA in English and Anthropology, and then went on to earn an MA at NYU in Cultural Reporting and Criticism. In high school, she was a National Merit Scholar, took 12 AP tests and scored 99 percentile scores on the SAT and ACT.

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• How to Write Your Personal Statement | Strategies & Examples

How to Write Your Personal Statement | Strategies & Examples

Published on February 12, 2019 by Shona McCombes . Revised on July 3, 2023.

A personal statement is a short essay of around 500–1,000 words, in which you tell a compelling story about who you are, what drives you, and why you’re applying.

To write a successful personal statement for a graduate school application , don’t just summarize your experience; instead, craft a focused narrative in your own voice. Aim to demonstrate three things:

• Your personality: what are your interests, values, and motivations?
• Your talents: what can you bring to the program?
• Your goals: what do you hope the program will do for you?

This article guides you through some winning strategies to build a strong, well-structured personal statement for a master’s or PhD application. You can download the full examples below.

Urban Planning Psychology History

Table of contents

Getting started with your personal statement, the introduction: start with an attention-grabbing opening, the main body: craft your narrative, the conclusion: look ahead, revising, editing, and proofreading your personal statement, frequently asked questions, other interesting articles.

Before you start writing, the first step is to understand exactly what’s expected of you. If the application gives you a question or prompt for your personal statement, the most important thing is to respond to it directly.

For example, you might be asked to focus on the development of your personal identity; challenges you have faced in your life; or your career motivations. This will shape your focus and emphasis—but you still need to find your own unique approach to answering it.

There’s no universal template for a personal statement; it’s your chance to be creative and let your own voice shine through. But there are strategies you can use to build a compelling, well-structured story.

The first paragraph of your personal statement should set the tone and lead smoothly into the story you want to tell.

Strategy 1: Open with a concrete scene

An effective way to catch the reader’s attention is to set up a scene that illustrates something about your character and interests. If you’re stuck, try thinking about:

• A personal experience that changed your perspective
• A story from your family’s history
• A memorable teacher or learning experience
• An unusual or unexpected encounter

To write an effective scene, try to go beyond straightforward description; start with an intriguing sentence that pulls the reader in, and give concrete details to create a convincing atmosphere.

Strategy 2: Open with your motivations

To emphasize your enthusiasm and commitment, you can start by explaining your interest in the subject you want to study or the career path you want to follow.

Just stating that it interests you isn’t enough: first, you need to figure out why you’re interested in this field:

• Is it a longstanding passion or a recent discovery?
• Does it come naturally or have you had to work hard at it?
• How does it fit into the rest of your life?
• What do you think it contributes to society?

Tips for the introduction

• Don’t start on a cliche: avoid phrases like “Ever since I was a child…” or “For as long as I can remember…”
• Do save the introduction for last. If you’re struggling to come up with a strong opening, leave it aside, and note down any interesting ideas that occur to you as you write the rest of the personal statement.

Once you’ve set up the main themes of your personal statement, you’ll delve into more detail about your experiences and motivations.

To structure the body of your personal statement, there are various strategies you can use.

Strategy 1: Describe your development over time

One of the simplest strategies is to give a chronological overview of key experiences that have led you to apply for graduate school.

• What first sparked your interest in the field?
• Which classes, assignments, classmates, internships, or other activities helped you develop your knowledge and skills?
• Where do you want to go next? How does this program fit into your future plans?

Don’t try to include absolutely everything you’ve done—pick out highlights that are relevant to your application. Aim to craft a compelling narrative that shows how you’ve changed and actively developed yourself.

My interest in psychology was first sparked early in my high school career. Though somewhat scientifically inclined, I found that what interested me most was not the equations we learned about in physics and chemistry, but the motivations and perceptions of my fellow students, and the subtle social dynamics that I observed inside and outside the classroom. I wanted to learn how our identities, beliefs, and behaviours are shaped through our interactions with others, so I decided to major in Social Psychology. My undergraduate studies deepened my understanding of, and fascination with, the interplay between an individual mind and its social context.During my studies, I acquired a solid foundation of knowledge about concepts like social influence and group dynamics, but I also took classes on various topics not strictly related to my major. I was particularly interested in how other fields intersect with psychology—the classes I took on media studies, biology, and literature all enhanced my understanding of psychological concepts by providing different lenses through which to look at the issues involved.

Strategy 2: Own your challenges and obstacles

If your path to graduate school hasn’t been easy or straightforward, you can turn this into a strength, and structure your personal statement as a story of overcoming obstacles.

• Is your social, cultural or economic background underrepresented in the field? Show how your experiences will contribute a unique perspective.
• Do you have gaps in your resume or lower-than-ideal grades? Explain the challenges you faced and how you dealt with them.

Don’t focus too heavily on negatives, but use them to highlight your positive qualities. Resilience, resourcefulness and perseverance make you a promising graduate school candidate.

Growing up working class, urban decay becomes depressingly familiar. The sight of a row of abandoned houses does not surprise me, but it continues to bother me. Since high school, I have been determined to pursue a career in urban planning. While people of my background experience the consequences of urban planning decisions first-hand, we are underrepresented in the field itself. Ironically, given my motivation, my economic background has made my studies challenging. I was fortunate enough to be awarded a scholarship for my undergraduate studies, but after graduation I took jobs in unrelated fields to help support my parents. In the three years since, I have not lost my ambition. Now I am keen to resume my studies, and I believe I can bring an invaluable perspective to the table: that of the people most impacted by the decisions of urban planners.

Strategy 3: Demonstrate your knowledge of the field

Especially if you’re applying for a PhD or another research-focused program, it’s a good idea to show your familiarity with the subject and the department. Your personal statement can focus on the area you want to specialize in and reflect on why it matters to you.

• Reflect on the topics or themes that you’ve focused on in your studies. What draws you to them?
• Discuss any academic achievements, influential teachers, or other highlights of your education.
• Talk about the questions you’d like to explore in your research and why you think they’re important.

The personal statement isn’t a research proposal , so don’t go overboard on detail—but it’s a great opportunity to show your enthusiasm for the field and your capacity for original thinking.

In applying for this research program, my intention is to build on the multidisciplinary approach I have taken in my studies so far, combining knowledge from disparate fields of study to better understand psychological concepts and issues. The Media Psychology program stands out to me as the perfect environment for this kind of research, given its researchers’ openness to collaboration across diverse fields. I am impressed by the department’s innovative interdisciplinary projects that focus on the shifting landscape of media and technology, and I hope that my own work can follow a similarly trailblazing approach. More specifically, I want to develop my understanding of the intersection of psychology and media studies, and explore how media psychology theories and methods might be applied to neurodivergent minds. I am interested not only in media psychology but also in psychological disorders, and how the two interact. This is something I touched on during my undergraduate studies and that I’m excited to delve into further.

Strategy 4: Discuss your professional ambitions

Especially if you’re applying for a more professionally-oriented program (such as an MBA), it’s a good idea to focus on concrete goals and how the program will help you achieve them.

• If your career is just getting started, show how your character is suited to the field, and explain how graduate school will help you develop your talents.
• If you have already worked in the profession, show what you’ve achieved so far, and explain how the program will allow you to take the next step.
• If you are planning a career change, explain what has driven this decision and how your existing experience will help you succeed.

Don’t just state the position you want to achieve. You should demonstrate that you’ve put plenty of thought into your career plans and show why you’re well-suited to this profession.

One thing that fascinated me about the field during my undergraduate studies was the sheer number of different elements whose interactions constitute a person’s experience of an urban environment. Any number of factors could transform the scene I described at the beginning: What if there were no bus route? Better community outreach in the neighborhood? Worse law enforcement? More or fewer jobs available in the area? Some of these factors are out of the hands of an urban planner, but without taking them all into consideration, the planner has an incomplete picture of their task. Through further study I hope to develop my understanding of how these disparate elements combine and interact to create the urban environment. I am interested in the social, psychological and political effects our surroundings have on our lives. My studies will allow me to work on projects directly affecting the kinds of working-class urban communities I know well. I believe I can bring my own experiences, as well as my education, to bear upon the problem of improving infrastructure and quality of life in these communities.

Tips for the main body

• Don’t rehash your resume by trying to summarize everything you’ve done so far; the personal statement isn’t about listing your academic or professional experience, but about reflecting, evaluating, and relating it to broader themes.
• Do make your statements into stories: Instead of saying you’re hard-working and self-motivated, write about your internship where you took the initiative to start a new project. Instead of saying you’ve always loved reading, reflect on a novel or poem that changed your perspective.

Your conclusion should bring the focus back to the program and what you hope to get out of it, whether that’s developing practical skills, exploring intellectual questions, or both.

Emphasize the fit with your specific interests, showing why this program would be the best way to achieve your aims.

Strategy 1: What do you want to know?

If you’re applying for a more academic or research-focused program, end on a note of curiosity: what do you hope to learn, and why do you think this is the best place to learn it?

If there are specific classes or faculty members that you’re excited to learn from, this is the place to express your enthusiasm.

Strategy 2: What do you want to do?

If you’re applying for a program that focuses more on professional training, your conclusion can look to your career aspirations: what role do you want to play in society, and why is this program the best choice to help you get there?

Tips for the conclusion

• Don’t summarize what you’ve already said. You have limited space in a personal statement, so use it wisely!
• Do think bigger than yourself: try to express how your individual aspirations relate to your local community, your academic field, or society more broadly. It’s not just about what you’ll get out of graduate school, but about what you’ll be able to give back.

You’ll be expected to do a lot of writing in graduate school, so make a good first impression: leave yourself plenty of time to revise and polish the text.

Your style doesn’t have to be as formal as other kinds of academic writing, but it should be clear, direct and coherent. Make sure that each paragraph flows smoothly from the last, using topic sentences and transitions to create clear connections between each part.

Don’t be afraid to rewrite and restructure as much as necessary. Since you have a lot of freedom in the structure of a personal statement, you can experiment and move information around to see what works best.

Finally, it’s essential to carefully proofread your personal statement and fix any language errors. Before you submit your application, consider investing in professional personal statement editing . For $150, you have the peace of mind that your personal statement is grammatically correct, strong in term of your arguments, and free of awkward mistakes.

A statement of purpose is usually more formal, focusing on your academic or professional goals. It shouldn’t include anything that isn’t directly relevant to the application.

A personal statement can often be more creative. It might tell a story that isn’t directly related to the application, but that shows something about your personality, values, and motivations.

However, both types of document have the same overall goal: to demonstrate your potential as a graduate student and s how why you’re a great match for the program.

The typical length of a personal statement for graduate school applications is between 500 and 1,000 words.

Different programs have different requirements, so always check if there’s a minimum or maximum length and stick to the guidelines. If there is no recommended word count, aim for no more than 1-2 pages.

If you’re applying to multiple graduate school programs, you should tailor your personal statement to each application.

Some applications provide a prompt or question. In this case, you might have to write a new personal statement from scratch: the most important task is to respond to what you have been asked.

If there’s no prompt or guidelines, you can re-use the same idea for your personal statement – but change the details wherever relevant, making sure to emphasize why you’re applying to this specific program.

If the application also includes other essays, such as a statement of purpose , you might have to revise your personal statement to avoid repeating the same information.

If you want to know more about college essays , academic writing , and AI tools , make sure to check out some of our other language articles with explanations, examples, and quizzes.

College essays

• College essay examples
• College essay format
• College essay style
• College essay length
• Diversity essays
• Scholarship essays

Academic writing

• Writing process
• Avoiding repetition
• Literature review
• Conceptual framework
• Dissertation outline
• Thesis acknowledgements
• Burned or burnt
• Canceled or cancelled
• Dreamt or dreamed
• Gray or grey
• Theater vs theatre

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Blog > Common App , Essay Examples , Personal Statement > 15 Amazing Personal Statement Examples (2024 Update)

15 Amazing Personal Statement Examples (2024 Update)

Admissions officer reviewed by Ben Bousquet, M.Ed Former Vanderbilt University

Written by Kylie Kistner, MA Former Willamette University Admissions

Key Takeaway

What’s that old saying? “The best way to learn is by doing.” Well, we believe that, in personal statements and in life, cliches like this should be avoided. For some people, the best way to start writing a personal statement is indeed just to start.

But for most writers, jumping right into the writing process is a daunting task. If you’ve never written a personal statement before, then how do you know where to begin?

That’s where example essays come in. There are millions of opinions in the college admissions world about whether or not students should read example essays. But here’s ours:

You absolutely should be reading example personal statements.

Let’s get into it.

Why you should read example personal statements

Reading example personal statements helps you understand why they work (or don’t work) in the admissions process.

Now, the point of reading them isn’t to copy them. It’s not even necessarily to be inspired by them.

Instead, the point of reading examples is to know what personal statements look like. Think about it: if you’d never seen a children’s book before, would you know how to write one? Probably not! Same goes for personal statements.

In this post, we show you some exceptional, solid, and need-to-be-improved personal statements.

And to help you understand how these essays function as personal statements, we’ve also gotten our team of former admissions officers to grade and provide feedback on each.

What does an admissions officer look for in a personal statement?

Before we get to the essays, let’s briefly walk through what goes through an admissions officer’s head when they open an application.

Admissions officers (AOs) read hundreds to thousands of applications in a single year. Different institutions require admissions officers to use different criteria when evaluating applications, so the specifics will vary by school. Your entire application should cohere to form a seamless narrative . You'll be crafting that narrative across the following categories:

• Transcripts and course rigor : AOs look at the classes you’ve taken to assess how much you’ve challenged yourself based on the classes your school offers. They’re also looking at how well you've done in these classes each term.
• Extracurricular activities : When reading through your activities list, AOs look at the activities you’ve done, how many years you’ve participated in them, and how many hours a week you devote to them. They’re assessing your activities for the levels of magnitude, impact, and reach that they demonstrate. (Want to know more about these terms? Check out our extracurricular impact post .)
• Background information : This background information briefly tells admissions officers about demographic and family information, your school context, and any honors or awards you’ve received.
• Letters of recommendation : Letters of recommendation give AOs insight into who you are in the classroom.
• Essays : And, finally, the essays. Whether you’re writing a personal statement or a supplemental essay , essays are the main place AOs get to hear your voice and learn more about you. Your personal statement in particular is the place where you get to lay out your overall application narrative and say something meaningful about your personal strengths.

So, with all that in mind, what does an admissions officer actually look for when reading your personal statement?

A few traits tend to surface across the best personal statements, no matter the topic or format. There are four primary areas you should focus on as you craft your personal statement.

• Strengths : AOs want to know about your strengths. That doesn’t mean bragging about your accomplishments, but it does mean writing about a topic that lets you showcase something positive about yourself.
• Personal meaning : Personal statements shouldn’t be fluff. They shouldn’t be history essays. They should be personal essays that ooze meaning. The topic you choose should show something significant about yourself that the admissions officers won’t get from any other part of your application.
• Authenticity and vulnerability : These characteristics can be the most difficult to achieve. Being “vulnerable” doesn’t mean airing all your dirty laundry. It means revealing something authentic and meaningful about who you are. To be vulnerable means to go beyond the surface level to put yourself out there, even to admissions officers who you’ve never met.
• Clear organization and writing : And lastly, admissions officers also want your essay to be organized clearly so it’s easy to follow along. Remember that admissions officers are reading lots of applications, even in one sitting. So you want to make your reader’s job as easy as possible. Thoughtful and skillful writing can also help take your personal statement to the next level.

If you want to know more about how to incorporate these traits into your own essay, we have a whole guide about how to write the perfect personal statement .

But for now, let’s get into the examples.

We’ve broken up the example personal statements into three categories: best personal statement examples, good personal statement examples, and “bad” personal statement examples. These categories show you that there is a spectrum of what personal statements can look like. The best examples are the gold standard. They meet or exceed all four of the main criteria admissions officers are looking for. The good examples are just that: good. They’re solid examples that may be lacking in a specific area but are still effective personal statements. The “bad” examples are those that don’t yet stack up to the expectations of a personal statement. They’re not objectively bad, but they need some specific improvements to align with what admissions officers are looking for.

Here we go!

The Best Personal Statement Examples

Writing an exceptional personal statement takes a lot of time and effort. Even the best writers can find the genre challenging. But when you strike the perfect chord and get it right, it’s almost like magic. Your essay jumps off the page and captures an admissions officer’s attention. They feel like you’re right there with them, telling them everything they need to know to vote “yes” on your admission.

The following essays are some of our favorites. They cover a range of topics, styles, and student backgrounds. But they all tell meaningful stories about the writers’ lives. They are well-organized, use vivid language, and speak to the writers’ strengths.

For each essay, our team of former admissions officers have offered comments about what makes the essay exceptional. Take a look through the annotations and feedback to see what lessons you can apply to your own personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #1: Thankful

My family has always been broke. Saturday mornings and Thursday evenings, always the same drill: the kids (my brothers and me) would be loaded in the car with my parents and off we’d all go to the food pantry. New clothes were few and far between, and going on vacation was something that we could only dream of. Despite our financial struggles, one year, my parents decided to surprise us with a trip to Disney Land. It was a complete shock to me and my siblings. We were over the moon. In fact, the screams of excitement that emanated from my younger brother’s mouth still ring in my ears.

But as the trip drew close, my excitement tempered and I began to worry. Being poor when you’re young doesn’t just affect you materially. It also affects how you see the world and loads you up with a whole range of anxieties that, in an ideal world, no child should have to face. How were my parents going to afford this, I wondered? Would an expense like this push us over the brink?(( The beginning of this essay, and especially this sentence, show the writer’s empathy. They are not selfish; they understand their broader family context and take that into consideration.)) I didn't want to ruin the surprise by asking, but I couldn't shake the feeling of dread building inside of me.

The day of our trip arrived and we set off for the airport. In the car, my dad made an off-the-cuff comment about a new video game that he’d wanted to play but didn’t buy, and everything clicked—my parents had made the trip possible by saving for months, cutting back on expenses and sacrificing their own comforts to make the trip happen.

As we boarded the plane, I was filled with a mix of emotions. I was grateful beyond words for my parents' sacrifice, but I was also overwhelmed by the guilt of knowing that they had given up so much for us. I didn't know how to express my gratitude; when we deplaned in LAX, I gave my mom and dad a rib-crushing hug.

The trip itself was everything that I had dreamed of and more. We spent four magical days at Disney Land(( Nice use of vivid details here. The reader can picture the sights and smells of Disney—and the ensuing hunger when passing a churro stand.)) , speed running the roller coasters and campy boat rides from the 70s. Sure, we packed our own food and walked right by the churro stands with a hungry look in our eyes. But I will never forget the feeling of unmitigated joy that my family shared on that trip, the smiles that painted my parents’ faces.

But the trip itself was nothing compared to the gratitude I felt for my parents(( Here, the writer transitions to reintroducing the theme of gratitude.)) . They had given us the gift of a lifetime, and I knew that I would never be able to repay them for their sacrifice.

In the years since that trip, I have carried that feeling of gratitude with me. It has motivated me to work hard and to always strive to be the best person that I can be. I want to make my parents proud and to show them that their sacrifice was worth it(( Finally, the writer sums things up with an eye to the future. It’s helpful for an admission officer to picture what the essay’s lessons might mean for the student as a future community member.)) .

I will never be able to fully express my gratitude for what my parents did for us, but I will always remember their selflessness and their willingness to put their own needs aside for the sake of our happiness. It was a truly surprising and incredible act of love, and one that I will always be thankful for.

AO Notes on Thankful

This essay accomplishes a few things even though it essentially tells one story and offers a quick reflection. It gives some important context regarding the challenges of being from a lower-income family. It does that in a way that is authentic, rather than problem-focused. It also shows that the writer is empathetic, family-oriented, and reflective.

Why this essay stands out:

• Vulnerability : This essay is upfront about a challenging topic: financial insecurity. While you don’t have to tell your most difficult challenge in an essay, this writer chose to write about a circumstance that gives additional context that may be helpful as admissions considers their application.
• Personal : The writer gets into some family dynamics and paints a picture of how their family treats and takes care of each other.
• Values: We clearly see some values the writer has and that they don’t take their parents’ sacrifices for granted. As an admission officer, I can picture this student using their education to give back—to their family or to others.

Personal Statement Example #2: Pickleball

I’ve always been one to have a good attitude no matter the circumstances. Except when it comes to exercise. From dodgeball in PE class to family Turkey Trots, I’m always the first one out and the last one across the finish line. These realities aren’t from a lack of skill—I’m actually quite coordinated and fast. They are from a lack of effort(( This is a quick hit of… either humor or vulnerability. I chuckled at the blunt honesty, and am intrigued to learn more.)) . Despite my best intentions, I can never get myself to care about sports or competitions. So when my dad first asked me to be his pickleball partner last summer, I did nothing but laugh.

But soon, I realized that he was serious. My dad started playing pickleball two years ago as a fun way to exercise. He’d become a star in our city’s recreation league, and I always enjoyed cheering him on from the sidelines. When his doubles partner got relocated for work, my dad decided that the disruption was a good opportunity for us bond through pickleball. Even though I was mortified by the thought of running back and forth to hit a bouncing ball, I reluctantly agreed.

The next Saturday morning, we went to the court for our first practice. I was wearing sweatpants, an old sweatshirt, and a grimace. My dad showed me how to hold the paddle, serve, and return the ball to our opponents. He told me about staying out of the kitchen—an endearing pickleball term that references the “kitchen,” or the middle part of the court—trying to make me laugh. Instead, I sighed impatiently and walked to my end of the court, ready to get it over with.

My dad remained patient in spite of my bad attitude. He gently served me the ball, and I gave a lackluster attempt to return it. The ball bounced into the net. I hadn’t even made it to his side of the court. Trying his best to encourage me, my dad gave me the ball so I could serve it to him instead. I tossed the ball up and hit it underhand toward my dad. It hit the net again. I tried again and again, each attempt with less care than the last. I grew frustrated and threw my paddle down in anger(( Okay, this paragraph gives a good dose of openness to the emotions of the writer. They’ve served up an opportunity to learn a lesson soon…)) .

After seeing my mini-meltdown, my dad crossed the kitchen to talk to me. During our conversation, I began to ask myself why I got so frustrated when I wasn’t trying very hard in the first place. I thought pickleball was a miserable sport, but I realized that it wasn’t pickleball that I cared about. I cared about my dad. I wanted to make him proud(( Ah, and there it is! A realization. As the admission officer I’m thinking, “Go on…”)) . Playing pickleball with him was the least I could do to thank him for everything he’d done for me. I dusted off my bad attitude alongside my paddle, and I got up to try another serve.

That serve hit the net again. But more determined now, I kept trying until my serves went over the net and through my dad’s weak side. I couldn’t believe it. My attitude adjustment helped me see the game for what it was: a game. It wasn’t supposed to be agonizing or cruel. It was supposed to be fun.

I learned that my attitude towards sports was unacceptable. This experience taught me that it’s okay to have preferences about what you enjoy, but it’s important to always maintain a positive attitude(( And the lesson learned! )) . You may just enjoy it after all.

Now my dad and I are both stars in our recreation league. Soon, we will make our way to our league’s semi-finals. We’ve worked our way through the bracket and are close to the championship. What I appreciate more about this experience, however, is how close it’s brought my dad and I together. His patience, positivity, and persistence have and will always inspire me. I want to be more like him every day, especially on the pickleball court.

AO Notes on Pickleball

This is a strong “attitude adjustment” essay, a bit of a remix of a challenge essay. The challenge, in this case, was a fixed mindset about sports that needed to be adjusted. The writer takes us on a witty journey through their own attitude towards organized athletic activities and their father.

• Self-aware : Similar to the vulnerability of other essays, this writer is willing to criticize themselves by recognizing that they need an attitude adjustment. Even before they changed their attitude, we get the sense that they are at least aware of their own lack of effort.
• Strong conclusion : We see a nice lesson at the end that relates both to having an open mind and caring for others. They even make a point about simply enjoying things because they are fun.
• Life lesson : Beyond the stated lesson, as an admission officer with a few more years on this Earth than the writer, I can tell this lesson will apply beyond sports. In fact, I can easily picture this student trying a new class, club, or group of friends in college because they are now more open to novel experiences.

Personal Statement Example #3: The Bird Watcher

I’m an avid walker and bird watcher(( Okay, the writer gets right into it! I think this simple introduction of the topic works well because they are writing about a less common hobby among teenagers. If they had said “I am an avid baseball player”, I would have been less eager to learn more.)) . Growing up, I’d clear my head by walking along the trail in the woods behind my house. By the time I was immersed in the chaos of high school, these walks became an afternoon routine. Now, every day at three o’clock, I don my jacket and hiking shoes and set off. As I walk, I note the flora and fauna around me. The wind whispering through the trees, the quiet rustling of a chipmunk underfoot, and the high-pitched call of robins perched atop branches, all of it brings me back to life after a difficult day.

And recently, the days have been more difficult than not. My grandparents passing, parents divorcing, and doctor diagnosing me with ADHD have presented me with more challenges than I’ve ever experienced before. But no matter what’s going on in my life, the wildlife on my walks brings me peace. As an aspiring ornithologist, the birds are my favorite(( This paragraph accomplishes a lot: a montage of difficult circumstances, context for their application, and declares their future career.)) .

I became interested in ornithology during long childhood afternoons spent at my grandparents’ house. They would watch me while my parents finished up work. I’d listen to the old bird clock that hung on the wall in the kitchen. Each number on the clock corresponded with a different bird. Every hour, the clock would chirp rather than chime. When the cardinal sang, I knew my parents would be arriving soon. Those chirps are all seared into my memory.

Twelve o’clock: robin. The short, fast, almost laugh-like sound of the robin always makes me hungry. All those Saturday afternoons filled with laughter and good food have resulted in a Pavlovian response. I’d cook meatballs with my grandma, splashing sauce on her floral wall paper. We’d laugh and laugh and enjoy the meal together at her plastic-covered kitchen table. This wasn’t my home, but I felt at home just the same.

Three o’clock: blue jay. It’d chime as soon as we walked in the door after school. The blue jay was my grandpa’s favorite. It was also mine. Why he loved it, I’m not completely sure. But it was my favorite because it marked the beginning of the best parts of my day. Symbolizing strength and confidence, blue jays always remind me of my grandpa.

Six o’clock: cardinal. The sharp whistle and staccato of the cardinal indicated that it was almost time for me to leave. Like the whistle of a closing shift, I’d hear it and start to pack my things. The cardinal has always been my least favorite.

Nine o’clock: house finch. The high, sweet, almost inquisitive call of the house finch was the one my grandma loved most. It was also the one I rarely heard. Either too early or too late in the day, the house finch was reserved for the occasional weekends when I’d spend the night at their house. My grandma would explain that finches symbolize harmony and peace. They are petite but mighty, just like she was(( This is a clever and sweet way of describing summer days with grandparents, while sprinkling in some vivid details to bring the story to life.)) .

This past weekend was the anniversary of my grandpa’s passing. Longing for my grandparents, I went for a walk. Winter is approaching, so the sky was darkening quickly. I walked slowly. As the sun set, I heard the tell-tale squawk of a blue jay, loud and piercing through the chill of the wind. I looked around and saw it sitting on an old stump, a small house finch behind it. I extracted my binoculars from my backpack, hoping to get a better glimpse through the dark. I turned the dial to focus the lenses, just as the birds flew away together. I took a deep breath, binoculars in hand, and continued on, spotting a robin in the distance(( The ending stylistically wraps the essay up without tying a bow on it. It’s a more artful way of concluding, and it works well here.)) .

AO Notes on Birdwatcher

This first two paragraphs are well-written and fairly to-the-point in their language. They do a nice job of setting the scene, but the third paragraph transitions into the writer’s distinctive voice. They detail the birds on the clock to chronicle the hours of their summer days and end, not without concluding, but leaving the reader wanting to read more of their stories.

• Voice: The writer transitions to writing in their own distinct voice, which comes to a crescendo in the final paragraph.
• Interesting approach: Sometimes students use an approach to tell a story that feels overly forced or cliche. This one feels organic and relates nicely to the writer, their family, and the story as a whole.
• Career path : This is far from a “What I want to be when I grow up” essay, but it clearly shows an academic interest grounded in family and childhood memories. This is an artistic and beautiful approach to showing admissions how the writer may use their college education.

Personal Statement Example #4: Chekov’s Wig

At the age of six, I starred in an at-home, one-woman production of Annie. My family watched as I switched between a wig I’d fashioned from maroon yarn, a dog’s tail leftover from Halloween, and a tie I’d stolen from my dad.

When the reveal came that Annie’s parents had actually passed away, I took a creative liberty: they had left Annie a small unicorn farm. The rest of the play proceeded as normal. When the curtain closed, I bowed to the sound of my family’s applause. But one set of hands was missing: my grandmother’s. Instead she sat, arms raised, and jokingly exclaimed, “But what about the unicorns?”(( Wow, an interesting intro! We see creativity and a silly side to the writer. As the admission officer, I’m eager to see where this leads.))

My grandma, an avid thespian, taught me a lot about life. But one of the most important lessons followed this production of Annie . After we laughed about her remark, she introduced me to the concept of Chekov’s gun. For Anton Chekov, brilliant playwright, the theory goes something like this: a writer shouldn’t write about a loaded gun if it’s not going to be fired. In other words, writers shouldn’t include details about something if it won’t serve a purpose in the story later. My unicorn farm had committed this writing faux pas egregiously.

I’m not a natural writer, and I have no goal to become one, but I’ve taken this concept of Chekov’s gun to heart—it forms the foundation of my life philosophy. I don’t believe that everything was meant to be(( This philosophical reflection is a nice introduction to the paragraphs that follow. )) . In fact, I think that sometimes bad things just happen. But I believe that these details will always play a part in our larger story.

The first test of my Chekov’s gun philosophy occurred shortly after Annie when my grandma, my biggest supporter, passed away. My family tried to console me saying that “it was her time to go,” but I disagreed. I couldn’t see how a death could be destined. Instead, I found comfort knowing that her presence, her support, and her death wasn’t for nothing. Like Chekov’s gun, I wasn’t quite sure how or why, but I knew that she would return for me.

As I grew older, my philosophy was tested time and again. Most recently, I fell back on Chekov’s gun as I coped with my parents’ divorce and my subsequent move to a new town. Both events shattered my world. My happy family theatre productions turned into custody hearings and overnight bags. The community I’d found at my old school became a sea of unfamiliar faces at my new one. None of this was meant to be. But as the writer of my own life, I won’t let the details become inconsequential.

I’ve used these events as plot points in my high school experience. Dealing with my parents’ divorce has taught me how to make the best of what’s given to me. I got the chance to decorate two bedrooms, live in both the suburbs and the city, and even have twice the amount of pets. And without the inciting incident of the divorce and move(( We see that the writer is able to make lemonade out of lemons here.)) , I never would have joined a new drama club or landed leading roles in Mama Mia and Twelfth Night. The divorce and move, like Chekov’s gun, have been crucial details in getting me where I’m at today.

I know that Chekov’s gun is more about the details in a story, but this philosophy empowers me to take what happens, the good and the bad, as part of my personal character development. Nothing would be happening if it weren’t important.

This summer, as we cleaned our garage in preparation for yet another move, I found my old Annie wig, yarn tangled from the box. Next to the wig was a note, handwritten in a script I’d recognize anywhere. My darling star, it read. You are going to go on to do great things. Love, Grandma ((And a sweet, or bittersweet, conclusion.)) .

AO Notes on Chekov’s Wig

This essay tells a beautiful story about a foundational philosophy in this young writer’s life. As their admission officer, I can see how grounded and positive they are. I can also imagine them taking this lesson to college: really paying attention to life, reflecting on the past, and understanding the value of even the smallest instances. There is an inherent maturity in this essay.

• Creativity: From the first few sentences, we can see that this student is now, and was as a child, creative. An original thinker.
• Reflective: When challenged by their grandmother, the writer didn’t insist that their way was correct. They took the criticism in stride and absorbed it as a salient life lesson. This shows open-mindedness and an uncommon level of maturity.
• Silver linings: It’s clear that this young writer has had some familial challenges that are likely familiar to some of you. They don’t gloss over them, but instead they learn from them. From having more pets to starring in the school musicals, there are lessons to glean from even life’s more difficult challenges.

Personal Statement Example #5: An Afternoon with Grandmother

The Buddhist temple on the hillside above my home has always possessed a deep power for me. With its towering spires and intricate carvings thousands of years old, it is a place of peace and serenity(( This writer opens with some wonderful imagery. I like how the imagery mirrors the meaning.)) —somewhere I can go to escape the chaos of the world and connect with myself and with my sense of spirituality. When my grandmother called me one January to let me know that she would be coming to visit, I smiled, my mind darting immediately to the temple and to the visit of it we would take together.

My relationship with my grandmother is a special one. After my parents passed away, she and my grandfather raised me for three years before I moved in with my father’s sister. In that time, she was my sole companion; she shared her recipes with me, told me stories, and most importantly, she taught me everything I know about spirituality. We spent countless nights staying up past bed-time, talking about the teachings of the Buddha, and she encouraged me gently to explore my own path to enlightenment(( This topic is accomplishing a lot: we see the writer’s relationship with their grandmother, their personal values, and their ideas about who they want to be in the future.)) .

When my grandmother finally arrived, I felt bathed in a warm glow. After catching up and preparing her favorite meal—red rice with miso soup and hot green tea—I told her about the plans I had for us to visit my special place.

Later that afternoon, as we entered the temple, I felt the calmness and tranquility wash over me. I took my grandmother's hand and led her to the main hall, where we knelt before the altar and began to recite the prayers and mantras that I had learned from her years before.

As we prayed, our voices joined together, echoing throughout the temple. A gentle rain began to fall outside and, as the cold crept around where we knelt, I was engulfed by a deep sense of connection with my grandmother and with the universe. It was as if the barriers between us were falling away, and we were becoming one—with each other, and with our shared connection to the divine.

We finished our prayers and sat in silence, lingering in the serenity of the temple. I could feel my grandmother's hand in mine, and I was filled with a sense of gratitude and love(( A great example of weaving vivid language with explicit reflection!)) .

Spirituality has been essential in my life. It gives me a sense of grounding and purpose, and it teaches me the value of compassion. My spirituality has also given me a way to connect with my grandmother on a deeper level—like a private language that only we speak together. In a world that can often feel chaotic and disconnected, faith and spirituality provide a sense of stability and connection.

As we left the temple, I held my grandmother's hand and felt suffused by a sense of peace and contentment. Too often people who are disconnected from spirituality misunderstand the role it plays in billions of people’s lives. They see it as a way to “check out” from the issues the world faces, ignoring their responsibilities to others. This may be true for others, but not me. Quite the opposite. My spirituality helps me empathize with others(( Wonderful reflection.)) ; it helps me focus on the obligations we each have to every other person and creature on this planet. For me, it is the ultimate way to “check in” to the needs of the world and my community in a way that grounds me emotionally.

Spirituality offers a way to find meaning and purpose in life, and to connect with something greater than ourselves. For that, and for my grandmother, I am truly grateful.

AO Notes on An Afternoon with Grandmother

In this deeply reflective essay, the writer uses spirituality and their relationship with their grandmother to reveal a very personal part of themselves. The writer isn’t afraid to be vulnerable, and they clearly showcase strengths of wisdom and compassion.

• Vivid language: This author is a talented writer who has included a bunch of vivid language. But it’s not over the top. They include just enough to hold a reader’s attention and add some interest.
• Reflection: The reflection throughout this essay is excellent. Notice how it’s not just at the beginning or the end. It’s woven throughout. The writer follows up each major detail with an explanation of why it’s personally meaningful.
• Conclusion: The conclusion combines vivid language and reflection perfectly. By the end of the essay, we know exactly what the writer wants us to take away: spirituality is personally meaningful to them because it helps them connect with the people around them. And I especially like how the writer chose to end on a note of gratitude—always a good value to have in a personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #6: Rosie’s

While most people find their lowest point at rock bottom, I found mine in an Amerikooler DW081677F-8(( We’re definitely off to an odd start. I’m curious where this is headed!)) . With drops rolling down my back and my cheeks, I snuck into the walk-in freezer for a moment of chill.

At that point, I had worked at Rosie's for nearly a year. The job was a good one: it fit with my school schedule, paid well, and introduced me to close friends. But as a workplace, Rosie’s was pure chaos. The original owners passed on a host of problems the new owners were working hard to fix. But the problems ran deep. From an inefficient kitchen organization to a malfunctioning scheduling software, we never knew what to do or when.

The day I found myself in the Amerikooler was the day everything caught up with us(( This is a good transitional phrase that helps readers navigate this fairly complex narrative.)) . An error in our scheduling software led to us operating with only 30% of our typical team. As the only waitress on duty, I ran between the kitchen and the guests, stopping mid-delivery to put new vegetables in the steamers. The kitchen staff were barely getting through each dish before customers lost patience.

Then, in all the commotion, I dropped a plate of macaroni and cheese all over a customer. I apologized over and over again. I was embarrassed and ashamed. I couldn’t believe what I had done. I always tried to be one step ahead to give my customers the best service, so my mistake felt like an utter failure. After helping them clean up, I ran immediately to the freezer. I realized that something had to change.

In the Amerikooler, a pea and corn mix cool on my back, I considered my options. The easiest option was to quit. I could find another job, one that didn’t cause me so much stress. But quitting wouldn’t just mean giving up. It would mean accepting my failure. It would also mean abandoning the coworkers I had grown close to. Leaving them would only burden them more. While I knew it wasn’t my job to fix the restaurant, I knew that leaving wasn’t the answer either. Instead, I decided to focus on solutions(( I like the focus on solutions and action steps here!)) . I stood up from the cold, dirty freezer floor, dusted off my work pants, washed my hands, and got back to work.

Despite being the newest and youngest member of the Rosie’s staff, I recognized that I brought a new perspective to the workplace. Having spent the previous three summers scheduling volunteers for my local food drive, I used my organizing experience to devise a new scheduling system, one that didn’t rely on our outdated technology. I brought up the system at our weekly meeting, and after initial pushback, everyone agreed to give it a try. Three months later, my system keeps everyone happy and our kitchen and floor staffed.

But it wasn’t just the staffing problem that was the issue. Our workflows were inefficient, and we didn’t know how to communicate or collaborate effectively. I know that identifying an issue is always the first step to a solution, so I raised the question at our most recent staff meeting. Having earned my coworkers’ and bosses’ trust(( And here we see some good growth and leadership.)) , I led us in outlining a few new processes to streamline our productivity. In stark contrast to the failure I felt after spilling the macaroni and cheese, developing a new workflow with my coworkers made me proud. I hadn’t given in to the chaos, but I had worked thoughtfully and collaboratively to create new solutions.

I’m sure that won’t be my last time working in a disorganized environment or spilling macaroni and cheese. But I know that I’ll be ready to address whatever comes my way.

AO Notes on Rosie’s

If you’ve ever worked in a food establishment, then something in this essay will probably resonate with you. But I appreciate how the writer doesn’t get pulled into the negativity they experience. Instead, they focused their efforts (and their essay) on how they could make things better for everyone. That’s the kind of student admissions officers want to see on their campuses.

• Organization: The writer has to narrate and backtrack a bit at the beginning of the essay to make the introduction work. But it’s not confusing for a reader because they have very solid transitions. I also like how the action steps and reflection are organized in the narrative.
• Positive outlook: As an admissions officer, I would admire this student for their problem-solving skills. Working in that environment was surely tough, but they didn’t give up. They got to work and helped everyone out in the process.
• Humor: From the introduction to the conclusion, the writer incorporates subtle humor throughout. Because of it, we actually feel like we know the writer by the conclusion. Too much humor can overwhelm a personal essay, but just enough can help readers see who the writer really is.

Personal Statement Example #7: Gone Fishing

I pulled the line with my left hand and snapped the rod back with my right. The line split through the air above me like a knife through cake. I rigidly waved my right arm up and down to dry off my fly, which had started sinking from the weight of the water. Ready to cast, I loosened the grip on my left hand to release a few more feet of line, pulled my right arm back in a grandiose motion, and hammered it back down. I expected my line to fly out in front of me, gracefully floating back onto the surface of the water. Instead, I was met with a startling resistance. My fly had lodged itself into the bush behind me(( This opening paragraph has great vivid description. Here, we end on a moment of suspense that has left me intrigued about what will happen next.)) .

Annoyed, I waded through the tall, thick grass, rod under my arm and mosquitoes buzzing in my ears. This was the reality of fly fishing. In my short time as a fisherman, I’d caught far more trees, bushes, and riverweed than I had fish. What seems so elegant in movies like A River Runs Through It is actually a grueling process of trial and error. I took up flyfishing a year ago to conquer my fear of the outdoors(( Ah ha—we learn that this essay isn’t really about fly fishing. It’s about conquering a fear. And with that, we see that the stakes are high.)) . I could have (and probably should have) chosen a more mild activity like hiking or kayaking, but I’ve always been one to take on a challenge.

I had been afraid of the outdoors since childhood. Coming from a family that prefers libraries to parks and bed and breakfasts to tents, I never learned how to appreciate nature. I limited my time outside as much as I could. I feared the bugs, the sun, and the unknown.

I decided to try flyfishing when I realized I didn’t want to be controlled by my fear any longer(( As an AO, I would applaud this student’s bravery.)) . All the birthday parties I’d turned down, the memories that were made without me, I had missed out on so much. Being outside was an integral part of the human experience—or, at least, that’s what I’d been told. Without being willing to enjoy nature, I was missing out on what it meant to be myself.

Soon after this realization, I found an old rod in my grandpa’s garage and took it as a sign from the universe. On my first time out, my Honda Civic lurched over a ditch on the gravel road Google Maps had directed me to. I’d spent hours watching YouTube videos of proper technique. Stepping out of my car, I felt my skin crack under the dry heat, and I wanted to leave. But I continued on, walking through branches and over logs to the riverbank. I was doing it( More vivid detail that really gives us a sense of the writer’s discomfort—yet they’re persisting.)) .

I pushed myself to continue, no matter how uncomfortable I got. I went back, Saturday after Saturday, each time noticing improvements in my abilities. Along the way, I learned to push myself to do things that make me uncomfortable. I saw myself in a new light. I wasn’t Charlie, afraid of the outdoors. I was Charlie, fisherman.

The first time I caught a fish, I could hardly believe it. Thinking I had caught another piece of riverweed, I tugged on my line and rolled my eyes. But suddenly, it started tugging back. It was a sensation I’d never experienced before, one of haste, pride, and panic. I instantly collected myself, bracing against the bank as I secured the line with my finger and slowly pulled the fish ashore. Delicately removing my hook from its mouth, I admired its beauty. Whereas I had once feared creatures like this trout, I now respected it. Its holographic scales glistened in the sunlight. I thanked it for helping me grow, and I placed it back in the water. It swam away. I wiped the slime off my hands and picked up my rod, left hand tugging at the line, right hand snapping back again((This conclusion is quite long, but I really like this poetic ending. It shows so much growth, and there’s a subtle nod to the fact that the writer is continuing to fish.)) .

AO Notes on Gone Fishing

From all this imagery, I really felt like I was fishing alongside them. What’s better, I feel like I really get where this student is coming from because of their vulnerability. They show immense growth and open-mindedness, which is exactly what admissions officers are looking for.

• Imagery: This writer definitely likes creative writing. From the introduction, we can envision ourselves going on this journey with the writer. There is some excellent “show, don’t tell” here.
• Deep personal meaning: Biggest fears are hard to overcome, especially with such a good attitude. It’s clear that this topic is a meaningful one to the writer. Even the act of fly fishing, which they didn’t seem to like much at first, becomes a meaningful act.
• Narrative arc: We have a classic “going on a journey” essay, where the writer transforms on a journey from point A (being afraid of the outdoors) to point B (catching a fish). The writer’s implementation of this structure is excellent, which makes the essay easy to follow.

Good Personal Statement Examples

Even if your essay isn’t worthy of The New Yorker , you can still make your mark on admissions officers. Writing an essay that fulfills all the goals of a personal statement, whether or not it meets every single criterion an admissions officer is looking for, can still get you into a great college.

Most personal statements are good personal statements, so don’t worry if you’re feeling overwhelmed by the amazing essay examples you see online. The key to writing a good personal statement is writing your personal statement. Focus on finding a topic that lets you communicate your own meaning and voice, and you’ll be set.

The following examples are awesome personal statements. There may be a little room for improvement in places, but the essays do exactly what they need to do. And they say a lot about their writers. Let’s see what the writers and admissions officers have to say.

Personal Statement Example #8: Beekeeper’s Club

As I lift the heavy lid of the hive, the hum of thousands of bees fills my ears. I carefully smoke the entrance to calm the bees, and I begin to inspect the frames. The bees are busy at work, collecting nectar and pollen, and tending to their young. I am in awe of their organization.

I never would have thought that I, a high school student, would become a beekeeper(( An interesting hobby for a high school student! I’m intrigued to see where this is going.)) . But now it’s something I can’t imagine my life without.

It all started when I found a beekeeping suit at a garage sale two summers ago. At a mere five dollars, it was yellowing and musty, but it appeared to be fully intact and without any holes. I’ve lived many lives as a hobbyist, always willing to try new things. I’ve been a sailor, a gardener, a basketball player, a harpist, a rock climber, and more. The problem is that I can never manage to see these hobbies through(( I see. Here we get a sense of what’s at stake in this new venture. The problem is that writer can’t seem to hold down a hobby. Will beekeeping solve that problem? Let’s find out .)) . As a perpetual novice, I always lose interest or become overwhelmed by all the information. But that’s never stopped me from taking up a new hobby, so I brought the beekeeping suit to the make-shift register and handed the seller a five-dollar bill.

To embark on my new hobby, I first went to the library and read everything I could find about beekeeping. Research is always my first step when starting something new. I like to know what I’m in for. As I read, I became fascinated by the fact that such small creatures can serve such a critical role on our planet. I learned about the importance of bees for pollinating crops, and I read that their populations have been declining in recent years. I was determined to do my part to help. This wasn’t just a hobby anymore— it was a mission(( And the stakes just got higher.)) .

But like the bees I’d been reading about, I knew I couldn't do it alone. My years of abandoning hobbies had taught me that this time, I needed guidance from someone with experience. I knew the first place to look. At the farmer’s market that Saturday, I went straight to the honey stand and introduced myself. The vendor’s name was Jeremy, and he was excited to see someone so young taking up beekeeping. I asked if I could come see his hives sometime, and he agreed.

I showed up the next weekend with my used beekeeping suit in hand. Jeremy gave me a tour. I was astounded by the simultaneous simplicity and complexity. As the months went by, Jeremy became my mentor. He taught me the importance of monitoring the health of the hive, how to properly harvest honey, and even the ins and outs of the farmer’s market business.

I was grateful for his guidance and friendship. I found myself becoming more and more passionate about bees and the art of beekeeping.

After months of tending to my hive, I finally had it up and running. These bees were in my care(( The writer has shown us that they’ve learned a big lesson from their past failures: they need support and guidance. I’m impressed that this time they are making an intentional change.)) —this was one hobby I couldn’t abandon. With that knowledge and Jeremy’s support, one hive grew to five. I’m not in it for the money or even the honey. I’m in it for the bees, for the millimeter of difference I’m making in their lives and in the life of the earth.

Through beekeeping, I have found a community of people who share my love for bees. Jeremy, the bees, and the entire beekeeping community have taught me not to quit. We support each other, share tips and advice, and work together to help protect these important insects. And in the process, I have learned that I can take up any new hobby I want and stick with it if I just put in enough effort(( Yep—the writer has come out of this journey on the other side, having learned that their effort does pay off.)) .

AO Notes on Beekeeper’s Club

As an admissions officer, it’s always fun to read about students’ eccentric hobbies. I’d count this as one of them. But what’s better than learning about the hobby is seeing a student’s personal growth.

What makes this essay good:

• Personal journey: Most good personal statements show some kind of personal growth. In this case, we see that the writer has grown mature and aware enough to hold down a hobby. We see that it wasn’t an easy road, but they got there.
• Strengths: There are lots of strengths in this personal statement. We see self-awareness, initiative, teamwork, and care for the bees and the planet.
• Reflection: Part of what makes this personal journey so good is that the writer takes us on the journey with them through reflection. At each stage of the journey, we know exactly what the writer is thinking and feeling. By the end, we’re celebrating their success with them.

What the writer could do to level up:

• Personal meaning: Yep, “personal journey” and “personal meaning” can be two separate things. Although the writer goes on a great personal journey, the personal meaning seems to be lacking a bit. It’s clear that this is an important topic to the writer, but it doesn’t exactly come across as an especially vulnerable one. The writer could make it more vulnerable by incorporating more personal meaning into their reflection: what would it have meant if they had quit beekeeping too? What’s the problem with dropping hobbies in the first place? Why is it personally important to learn to stick with things?

Personal Statement Example #9: Ann

Pushing her blonde curls from her forehead, she pursed her lips in focus(( This vivid, detailed description really draws me in.)) . She sat with legs crossed across the kitchen chair. This was it: the moment she’d been preparing for. Her tiny hand gripped the pencil as if it were a stick of dynamite and twitched her fingers up, down, and back again. She looked up at me and smiled, teeth too big for her growing mouth. “Ann,” the paper read. As I glowed back at my mini-me, I saw in her my whole heart(( And here the focus switches from Ann to the writer—an important transition.)) .

My sister was technically an accident, born when I was eleven years old. But I know that, in the grand scheme of things, Ann’s existence was destined by the cosmos. Watching her write was like looking in a mirror. My hair has long since turned brown, but she and I deal with the same unmanageable curls. Her toothy grin developed over five years of mutual laughter. And she got that unwavering focus from watching me do my own homework each night. At the same time I’ve taught her the ways of the world, she’s taught me joy, patience, and persistence(( Lessons learned! This sentence really draws attention to the main theme. It could be a little more specific because “joy, patience, and persistence” are almost cliche.)) .

I had been an only child for my first decade of life. I remember being lonely and without purpose. With Ann came the opportunity to make a real impact on someone, even as a child myself. The night she was born, I vowed to protect her. I had never seen anyone so small and fragile, and I begged my parents to let me hold her. Next to mine, her hand looked like a doll’s. It was purple and pink from the ordeal of birth. Her eyes barely opened, but I couldn’t keep mine off her.

Many older siblings find their younger siblings to be nuisances. But Ann has always been my best friend. Her first two years of life, she struggled with health issues that scared us all. I felt helpless and afraid, but I knew I had to fight alongside her. I did everything I could: I grabbed diapers and bottles for my parents, I talked to her for hours on end, and, when she was old enough, I spoon fed her and encouraged her to eat. As Ann grew bigger and stronger, I grew stronger, too(( It sounds like this was a really difficult challenge for the writer and their family. I appreciate this picture we get of the writer in relation to Ann.)) .

Each year has gotten better than the previous. I was there to catch Ann when she took her first steps, teach her her first words, and get her dressed every day. She tagged behind me as I took photos before my first dance, got my learner’s permit, and went on my college tours. While being a teen with a toddler sibling wasn’t always perfect, Ann’s mere presence makes those around her feel loved and appreciated. She’s exactly who I aspire to be.

Watching her write her name at the kitchen table, I became overwhelmed with the thought of leaving her to head off to college. She still has so much to learn, so many ways to grow. But just as the thought entered my mind, she spoke in her high-pitched and innocent voice. “When you go to college,” she asked, “will you tell me about your classes?” I blinked away the tears gathering in my eyes, smoothed her curls with my hand, and pulled her in close.

Going to college won’t mean leaving Ann. It will mean opening her world—and mine—to endless new knowledge and possibilities. She’ll grow and change, and so will I. When we reunite, we’ll smile our toothy smiles and embrace each other, our curly hair intertwining. We’ll sit at the kitchen table, focused and laughing, like nothing has changed(( I like how the siblings are continuing to grow together, but at the end of the day, they still have their amazing relationship.)) .

AO Notes on Ann

I always find sibling essays like this one so sweet. It’s amazing how clearly we can understand someone solely through their interactions with a loved one. As an admissions officer, I would see that this student would be a great community member (and roommate!).

• Deeply meaningful: Especially with the family context, it’s apparent that this topic is deeply meaningful to the writer. Because it’s so meaningful a topic, the writer is able to show an immense amount of care for Ann without even trying. AOs love seeing traits like care, maturity, and the ability to grow.
• Clear message: Personal statements should have themes that encompass the main message the writer wants to convey. This essay’s message is clear as day: the writer is a better, happier, more generous person because of Ann. They are an awesome sibling.
• More about the self: This one’s tricky because we get an implicit sense of who the writer is now through the overall tone and meaning. But a lot of the personal examples the writer chose are old examples from childhood and early adolescence. Some of those are important to provide family context, but I still would have liked to get a more recent picture of the writer.

Personal Statement Example #10: Running through My Neighborhood

My mind and eyes began to wander as I turned the corner on my fourth mile. I’ve always been a runner. It's a way for me to relax and challenge myself. Running makes me feel like I’m one with the world around me. As I run, I can't help but be struck by the beauty of the buildings and people that make up my city. Each is a work of art—a carefully-crafted expression of my community. With every step, I feel a deep connection to the life around me(( This introduction covers a lot, so this last sentence could be a bit more specific.)) .

On my run, I find myself drawn to the intricate details of the buildings. I admire the way the light catches on centuries-old bricks, casting shadows that dance across the pavement below. I look up at the skyscraper windows that nearly touch the sky, frightened at the sight of window washers. Old and new, the buildings all carry stories.

In the same way, I admire the neighbors around me. I see them feeding pigeons, smiling at me as I pass by. They’re walking dogs and babies, talking on a park bench, and playing hopscotch. I run by them, fast but steady, and breathe it all in. I’m on this beautiful city block, surrounded by people whose whole lives are familiar yet mysterious, and I’m running.

But it's not just the aesthetic beauty of the buildings that grabs my attention. As I run, I find myself thinking about the stories and histories behind each one. I wonder about the people who built them, the families they had at home, the lives they led. I think about the people who have lived and worked in these buildings and the memories that have been made within their walls.

Take the local bakery, for instance. I’ve run by there a thousand times in my life, each time soaking up the smell of freshly-baked bread and pastries. The building seems unassuming at first, with a simple glass door and brick façade. But once you step foot inside, you’re immediately hit with the warmth of the staff and patrons. The old photos on the wall and cozy furniture that has been there since the bakery’s opening back in the 1950s—it feels like home(( These are great vivid details.)) . The bakery is everything I value about my neighborhood. It completely represents what kind of neighbor I want to be. Plus, it’s not a bad place for a post-run snack.

Through my runs, I’ve also made connections with those who frequent the sidewalks alongside me. One of the people I see regularly on my runs is Mrs. Carter, an elderly woman who always has a kind word and a smile for everyone she meets. Her white hair is carefully curled, and her face is dimpled with laugh lines from thousands of conversations like ours. She often stops to chat with me, asking how my day is going and sharing stories from her own life. I always look forward to seeing her. She’s like the grandmother I never had. Mrs. Carter inspires me to be a better community member every day(( This kind of reflection brings the focus back to the writer’s personal journey.)) .

Running through my neighborhood is about more than just staying fit. It’s also about being in community with those around me. As I weave through the people on the sidewalk, I feel as though I am weaving myself through their stories, picking up tidbits and adding them to my own narrative. I wouldn’t be who I am today without these runs that have taught me so much. I can’t wait to run across my college campus, admiring my new surroundings and meeting my new neighbors(( I like this gesture to the future—as an AO, I would start to picture this student running through my campus, too!)) .

AO Notes on Running through My Neighborhood

Running essays can get a bad rap in college admissions. But this one overcomes that stereotype. At its core, this essay is about the runner’s relationship to their community. I really appreciate how much care and enthusiasm this writer shows for those around them.

• Writing: The writer’s voice shines through. They have great vivid descriptions, and we’re really able to envision ourselves in the neighborhood alongside them.
• Personal meaning: The way the writer describes those they encounter in their neighborhood shows that this isn’t a minor part of their life. Their runs are a big deal. The people they see along the way have greatly shaped who they are.
• Greater focus on self: Now, there are much worse culprits when it comes to personal essays that focus on people other than the writer. But the writer does toe the line. Their descriptions mostly focus on those around them, and while there is some reflection that connects their own experience to other people, it doesn’t actually take up much space in the essay. To level up, the writer could make this essay more about themself.

Personal Statement Example #11: Musical Installation Art

As a child, I was always drawn to stringed instruments(( The hook could have more punch, but this gets the job done.)) . I would pluck at my dad's old guitars, create makeshift harps with dental floss, and even play around with the banjo and harp in music class. As I got older, I realized that I wanted to focus on making my own instruments. And where better to start than in my dad's scrapyard? The yard sprawled out for almost five acres behind our house. It was a marvel of junk and oddities, with the accumulated garbage from hundreds of junker cars built up in our backyard. I grew up playing there, leading a childhood that most parents would probably see as reckless—rolling tires through narrow alleyways between crushed cars stacked high. But for me, the backyard was an endless playground for my imagination.

It was there that I discovered the joys of welding and soldering. I would rummage through piles of metal and find pieces that I could fashion into something new. My first sculptures were simple, resembling birds or dogs and pieced together from strips of metal. I’d look for similar art everywhere I went, grasping for inspiration. At a fair one weekend, I saw a booth run by an artist who built guitars. After speaking with him about his art, he asked to see a picture of my sculptures. I showed him and explained that I hoped to make my own instruments one day, too. He scuttled to the back of his tent and returned with a gift: a set of thick copper strings. “Try using those,”(( What an endearing story.)) he told me.

My first sculpture instrument was a crude thing—little more than a board of metal with pegs that I used to pull the copper strings tight. But I tightened them, I was in love—spending all night plucking away. At first, the instrument wailed and screeched. String by string, I delicately tuned the wires into sirens. I had created something that played music, and I was so proud.

My experience building the instrument motivated me to enroll in a sculpture class at the local community college. It was there that I learned how to properly solder metal and create more complex structures. For my final project, I made a three-foot-tall, four-stringed metal instrument in the shape of a dragon.

But as I worked, I started to realize that my dragon wasn't going to be beautiful in the traditional sense. Its metal body was jagged and uneven, and the strings were stretched tight across its back in a way that produced discordant, almost abrasive music. I tried to adjust the tuning, but no matter what I did, the music remained harsh and unpleasant.

At first, I was disappointed. I wanted my dragon to be a work of art, something that people would marvel at and love listening to. But as I continued to play with it, I started to see the beauty in the chaos(( This paragraph shows wonderful growth. And as a reader, I’m drawn in trying to imagine what the sculpture actually looks like.)) . The music it produced was like a musical language that I had invented, one that was wild and untamed. It was a reflection of my own creativity and individuality. A discordant collection of notes that sounded like they’d been tuned so as to be atonal. But I didn't care. I was a scrapyard kid, and this dragon played the song of my people: strong, innovative, and beautiful.

The combination of sculpture and music fascinates me. How does the shape of a fabrication affect the kind of sound that the object produces? What sounds do different materials produce? As I’ve learned more about sculpture, I’ve also become interested in installation art that has sound dimensions. I want to capture people’s visual and aural attention to inspire questions about how we navigate the aesthetic world(( It sounds like this topic potentially relates to the student’s future goals. If that’s true, there could be a clearer academic connection here.)) . And I’ll use whatever scraps I can find to make my creations.

AO Notes on Musical Installation Art

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a piece of musical installation art myself, so this topic really held my attention. I appreciate the journey the writer went on to learn that their art may not look like everyone else’s, but it can be just as impactful.

• Topic: I like this topic not only because it’s not one you see every day but also because it lets the writer reveal a lot about themself and their background. We see where they grew up and who they grew up with, and we also learn about this deeply meaningful personal interest.
• Writing style: This author has a very distinct writing style. In some ways, the writing style mirrors their art style—abrupt at times, melodic at others.
• Organization: The first half of this essay doesn’t always match up with the second half. Even though we’re still able to see the writer’s journey as a metal artist and musician, there’s still a bit of streamlining that needs to happen.

Personal Statement Example #12: Ski Patrol

I can never get enough of being in the mountains(( This hook isn’t very compelling, so it could use some more attention.)) . I am a skier through and through. Growing up, I spent countless family vacations on the slopes with my dad and siblings. I love the rush I get speeding down the mountain—I’ve improved so much over my life that I can now handle most runs I come across. But last year, I took my love for skiing to a whole other level by joining ski patrol.

It was mid-December, and my family had decided to take a weekend away to go skiing. Everything was going normally at first. We had a good day on the slopes and wanted to go one more run before calling it a night. We took a moment to rest and watched the person in front of us go. Only seconds after she headed down the mountain, something happened with her ski. She catapulted into a nearby tree. People raced to check on her, while we stayed back and alerted ski patrol.

When ski patrol arrived, I watched in amazement. They moved in such a precise way. They were like a machine—everyone knew exactly what to do when. Thankfully, it was a false alarm and the skier only had a few scratches. But my own life was changed forever. I knew then that I wanted to be a part of this team, to help others in a tangible way and to make a difference on the mountain that had always been my home.

As soon as I could, I applied for the Junior Ski Patrol team. I had to go through a tryout process on the hill, which made me nervous. But it felt good to be surrounded by people who loved skiing as much as I do. Thankfully, I was accepted shortly after; it was one of the best days of my life. Now on Junior Ski Patrol, I have the opportunity to do what I love – skiing – while also making a positive impact on others(( And here we get to the heart of the essay. The writer wants to help others while doing something they love. It’s a noble pursuit!)) . My team shadows the adult Ski Patrol, and we learn a lot of lessons along the way.

On the mountain (and in life), you never know what challenges might arise. One of the most important things I’ve learned from Junior Ski Patrol is to be prepared for anything. I’ve gotten my CPR and first aid certifications so I’m always prepared to administer life-saving care to anyone who might need it. I know how to pack a bag full of enough essentials to survive harsh weather or injuries.

But ski patrol has also taught me so much more than just how to help others. It has shown me how I work best on a team. I’m not naturally a leader, which is something I’ve always felt ashamed about. After learning from our mentors who all fulfill different roles on their adult Ski Patrol team, I realized that I don’t have to be a leader to be a good team member. The quiet collaborators who can follow the lead, take initiative when needed, and do their jobs really well are just as important as the people who are front-and-center(( An important personal insight.)) .

Being on ski patrol as a high school student has been an incredible journey, and I am grateful for the opportunity to be a part of such a dedicated team. More importantly, I’m proud of the growth I’ve experienced. I went from a person who just loves skiing to a person who is more confident in herself. I no longer feel unprepared or timid. I know exactly how to keep myself safe and work alongside others. While I don’t want to be a professional Ski Patroller or even go into medicine, I know these lessons will serve me well wherever life takes me(( As an AO, I would have been wondering if being on JSP made them want to study medicine, so I appreciate that they answered it for me!)) . But no matter where I end up, when the mountain calls, you know I’ll answer.

AO Notes on Ski Patrol

In this fun hobby-meets-accomplishment essay, the writer shows us their strengths of care and teamwork. I like the crossover between something that they really enjoy and this impressive accomplishment they have of being on Junior Ski Patrol.

• Lessons learned: The writer makes it very clear what lessons they learned from Junior Ski Patrol. Lessons don’t always have to be this explicit, but I appreciate how the writer really takes the time to reflect on what they’ve learned.
• Personal insight: Okay, this point is related to the lessons learned. But it’s important to draw out on its own because personal essays are, of course, personal. This topic easily could have been just about skiing down a mountain or administering first aid on patrol. Instead, the writer kept the focus inward to meet the expectations of a personal essay.
• What’s at stake?: We do get a good sense of personal meaning. But the writer could do a better job of speaking to the significance of this activity to their life. A good question to ask is, “What’s at stake?” What would I have lost or gained if this story had turned out differently? Asking these questions can also help you figure out what it is that you want an admissions officer to learn from your personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #13: The Regulars

One pump of vanilla syrup. Frothed milk. One espresso shot. Caramel drizzle(( Starting with some version of the following sentence would have been a stronger hook.)) . Like a scientist at her bench, I have methodically repeated these steps four days a week for the past two years. During my time as a Starbucks barista, I’ve learned hundreds of recipes and customizations. I know all the secret menu hacks, and I’ve developed several recipes for friends and family too. I pride myself on speed, quality, and memory. My favorite part of the job is the customer service. As one of the busiest locations in the region, I’ve caffeinated thousands. But it’s my regular customers, those whose orders I know like the back of my hand, who have truly impacted me.

Venti Vanilla Sweet Cream Cold Brew, hold the vanilla syrup. A busy mom of four, Chelsea is always in a hurry. I try to catch her the moment she enters the store so I can get started right away. Her Venti drink fuels her through school dropoffs and pickups, gymnastics lessons, and evening math homework. Throughout my conversations with her, I’ve learned that Chelsea is a scheduling virtuoso. As someone with ADHD(( This paragraph is almost too much about Chelsea, so this sentence is crucial to bring the focus back to the writer.)) , I became so inspired by her ability to juggle so many people and schedules simultaneously. After asking her for advice, she helped me find a time management system that I can keep up with. I have Chelsea to thank for my improved grades.

Grande dark roast, no room for cream. Mr. Williams is a retired businessman who always tips 100%. Mr. Williams is a quiet man, so it took me months to draw any information from him. Instead of using my over-the-top customer service voice, I eventually learned to be myself. When I got him to open up, I discovered that he was a service worker himself before he made it big in business in his sixties. The truth is, Mr. Williams has tipped me hundreds of dollars throughout my time here, which is extra money that will help me pay for college. He’s taught me the value of quiet generosity(( Let’s be honest. Mr. Williams sounds like a cool guy. But Mr. Williams isn’t applying to college—the writer is! I like that we get small glimpses into who the writer is through this paragraph, but there’s still room for more.)) .

Tall soy London Fog. Sweet Darla gave up coffee twenty-five years ago, but she still loves an occasional treat. When Darla enters, I clear my schedule. She always has stories to tell about the eighty years of life she’s lived. Darla is everything I want to be at that age: she’s spunky, opinionated, and hilarious(( Here we learn a lot about the writer through Darla.)) . Sometimes I tell Darla stories of my own. When I explained the dramatic series of events that led to me landing first chair in my symphony, she said she was going to retell it her bridge club. Making Darla laugh so hard will always be one of my proudest moments.

Grande iced matcha. Taylor is my age and goes to my school. When I took her order for the first time, I felt embarrassed that I needed to work to support myself while she could enjoy expensive drinks. But her kindness softened me. As time went on, I learned that she visited Starbucks so much because she wanted to get out of her house, which wasn’t a very happy place. While I have to take on as many shifts as possible, I still have a happy home to return to afterward. Now Taylor comes in near the end of my shift so we can take our drinks and have dinner at my house.

When you work in customer service, customers enter and exit your life like a revolving door. But the regulars, those special people who draw connections from daily but brief interactions, stick with you for life. I wouldn’t be who I am today if it weren’t for these people, and I would never have met them if it weren’t for my job as a barista. I haven’t just been making drinks these past two years. I’ve been making friends(( The conclusion does a good job tying all these different stories back together. )) .

AO Notes on The Regulars

No one appreciates a good barista story more than a tired admissions officer on their 30th application of the day! I like the personality that comes through in this essay especially. But this is one of those cases where it’s almost too much about other people.

• Creative take: Not every college essay needs a creative flair. In fact, sometimes going for “unique” structures can detract from an essay. But I like how the writer uses this format to structure the essay.
• Organization: This essay isn’t one a reader is bound to get lost in. The introduction sets up the essay well, it’s easy to see the connections between the points the writer is conveying, and the conclusion brings the focus back to the writer.
• More focus on self: While we do learn about the writer in this essay, we also learn a lot about Chelsea, Mr. Williams, Darla, and Taylor. The writer could have pared down the descriptions of other people—or cut one of the examples altogether—to save more room for personal reflection.

“Bad” Personal Statement Examples

These “bad” essays aren’t necessarily bad. They just aren’t very effective personal statements. Specifically, these two essays make some of the biggest college essay mistakes.

Making mistakes, especially when you’ve never written a personal statement before, is to be expected. We’ve included these examples so you can see what those mistakes look like in real-time. Learning from ineffective examples can be just as helpful as learning from the exceptional ones, so grab your pencil and start taking notes.

Our admissions officers have highlighted what’s working and what’s not. They offer helpful commentary and advice for revisions that you can use to assess your own personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #14: The Worst Year

My sophomore year of high school presented me with so many challenges(( This hook definitely gets straight to the point, but it doesn’t draw me in as a reader.)) . I struggled with a lot that year and barely managed to get by. It was the greatest challenge I ever faced.

The year started out like any other but soon went into chaos. My brother suddenly started struggling with drugs and alcohol. Before that, we didn’t know how bad he was hurting. But one night he finally came to us for help because apparently he had been using substances to cope with his emotions. He was scared because he felt like he had reached a breaking point and needed support. My parents didn’t want to help because they thought that he didn’t have a problem but I know my brother and I knew that he didn’t seem like himself. It was so sad to watch him go through that. I tried my best to help him but I was only a kid. I couldn’t really do anything besides tell him I loved him. Eventually my parents decided to get him some help, so he went away for a while and I wrote him letters every week and visited him as much as I could. The treatment he got helped thankfully. He’s doing better now and I am grateful that he is my brother.

But then Covid hit and I couldn’t even leave my house. We thought it would just be a two week vacation to school but it turned into two whole years of my life gone just like that. At the beginning I was stuck in my bedroom while my parents were working their jobs from the living room. Everyone was constantly getting annoyed with each other and driving each other wild. I would be doing a class Zoom in my room and I could hear my parents in a meeting in the living room. I had a hard time not being able to see my friends. I couldn't focus and my grades dropped. Even my teachers didn’t really seem to care. I was sick of staring at black Zoom screens all the time that I even stopped logging on. All of that combined led to me becoming very depressed and anxious. My grades dropped even more because I just couldn’t pay attention or focus enough to do my homework. I ended up getting grades way lower than I ever thought I would that year and I’m so frustrated about it because it felt like I was trying my best but it just wasn’t enough(( Here we see the writer opening up a bit and reflecting on what it was like to go through that experience.)) .

Even once we finally got back in school things didn’t get much better. The pandemic was just too much for my family so my parents ended up getting divorced at the beginning of my junior year. After all we had been through together seeing them separate made me devastated. My dad got an apartment and I had to go back and forth between their houses and pack up all my stuff every time. It was like moving my entire life every weekend. My brother was out of the house by this point so it was just me all by myself. My school was far from my dad’s new place so I’d have a long commute on the weeks I was with him. He was stressed at work and about the divorce and I just ended up feeling so lonely and spending most of my time in my room. My grades got better once online school stopped(( This moment of hope does a lot for moving the essay forward.)) but I had a hard time keeping close relationships with my friends because they didn’t like that I was living far away now and that we couldn’t really hang out anymore.

I couldn’t believe that two years would change so much. Getting through everything really challenged me. But I’m glad to be moving forward with my life.

AO Notes on The Worst Year

This student definitely had a challenging year. It’s clear that they’ve overcome a lot, and I appreciate their willingness to share their struggles. I like that the very last sentence

What this essay does well:

• Vulnerability: Writing about challenges is never easy, especially when you’re writing to people you don’t know. This writer is bold and unafraid in doing so.

What could be improved on:

• Not enough positivity: Here’s the thing. You definitely don’t need to be able to spin all of your challenging experiences into positive ones. But the topics you choose to write your college essay about should ultimately conclude on a positive note. You want your college essay to show you in a positive light, so you should choose a topic that lets you find a light, positive, or hopeful resolution.

Personal Statement Example #15: The Strikeout that Changed My Life

The stadium lights shone brightly in my eyes. I stepped up to the plate and drew back my bat. I wiggled my fingers, waiting. The pitcher wound up his arm and threw the ball towards me. My eyes worked overtime to track the ball. I watched as it flew directly towards the center of the plate and made a last-minute curve(( I like this vivid description.)) . It went straight into the catcher’s mitt. “Strike three!” the umpire yelled. That was the time I struck out at the quarter-finals. My team was so close to making it to the championship that we could taste it. It was the bottom of the sixth, and I gave up a valuable chance to score game-winning runs. We ended up losing. I learned a valuable lesson that fateful day. I never wanted to let my team down like that again(( And the writer jumps quickly into the main theme of the essay. Still, the message here could be more specific.)) .

We had advanced through our bracket without much trouble. The other teams were no match for our work ethic and teamwork. We were in perfect sync. As the first baseman, I was ready for any throw that came my way. We were also hitting well. I scored three home runs throughout the course of the tournament. We were a high-functioning machine. But for a machine to work, each cog has to function correctly. When I stepped up to the plate in the sixth inning, I was a broken cog.

After our quarter–final loss, I grieved with my teammates. Then I went off on my own to think. How had I let my team down so badly? How did I not even try to swing at that pitch? It was all my fault. I had to figure out what I had done wrong so I would never make the mistake again. I realized that I had been thinking selfishly. I was concerned about my own performance, my own at-bat averages(( This is a good reflection.)) . I was scared of failing because I didn’t want to be embarrassed. And worrying about all of those things caused me to lose focus and miss my chance to make a difference. Instead, I should have been thinking about how my at-bat would contribute to my team’s overall goal of winning the game.

I returned to where my teammates were congregating, and several of them patted me on the back. The next day, we went over how the game went as a team and talked about how we could improve at our tournament the following weekend. I admitted that I felt like I let the team down. My teammates said that they understood and reassured me that mistakes happen. It wasn’t my failed at-bat alone that lost us the game. Like winning, losing is a team effort. It was a culmination of lots of little issues. At the end of the day, the other team just out-performed us. But we could try hard, practice a lot, and return triumphant next weekend.

Letting my team down was a crushing blow to my self-esteem. I never want to feel like that again, but I know that the experience caused me to grow. Through all of this, I learned that I have to trust myself and my team(( Here we get to the lesson learned.)) . Focusing on myself alone can only get me so far. But focusing on my team can get me to where I want to go. I’m actually thankful that I struck out in that sixth inning because it caused me to learn an important life lesson.

AO Notes on The Strikeout that Changed My Life

This essay on its own definitely isn’t “bad.” As far as essays go, it’s clear, well-written, and organized nicely. But as a college essay, it could be doing more work on the writer’s behalf. See, as an admissions officer, I don’t actually learn that much about the writer from this essay alone. I see that they like baseball, are a good teammate, and can overcome failure. Those are wonderful traits, but they don’t exactly help set this student apart on the admissions committee floor. Instead, the student could make this essay more vulnerable and personal.

• Writing: The writer uses some great creative writing skills to really set the scene for the readers. In that first paragraph, I really feel like I’m there watching the game.
• Reflection: Even though the topic could be more significant, the writer does a great job reflecting on the meaning they drew from the experience.
• Significance: It’s very clear that this topic holds a lot of meaning to the writer. But as a college essay topic, it lacks vulnerability and stakes.

Key Takeaways

Writing a personal statement is a difficult ask, especially when you’ve never even read one before. But now, with these fifteen examples in your back pocket, you’re ready to write your own.

If you’re not sure what steps to take next, hop on over to our guide to writing personal statements for advice. You can also find more extensive guidance on the Essay Academy , a comprehensive college essay writing video course and community.

Happy writing! 🥳

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Making Effective Decisions – How to Write a 250 Word Statement For a Civil Service Application

• Updated January 15, 2024
• Published September 28, 2023

In the Civil Service, making effective decisions is crucial. Securing a position within the civil service is an admirable and impactful career choice. Whether you aspire to work in government, public administration, or related fields, the application process for civil service roles can be highly competitive.

One crucial aspect of your application is the “ 250-word statement, ” a concise document that holds significant weight in the selection process. Your ability to make effective decisions and articulate them within this limited word count is pivotal.

In this article, we will delve into the art of crafting a compelling and concise 250-word statement for your civil service application. We will guide you through the essential components of this statement, including understanding the competencies, structuring your response, and showcasing your qualifications effectively.

By the end of this article, you will have the knowledge and confidence to present yourself as a strong candidate, capable of making effective decisions in the complex and dynamic world of civil service. So, let us help equip you with the tools to stand out and succeed in your civil service application.

What Does Making Effective Decisions Mean in Civil Service?

In civil service, the concept of making effective decisions transcends mere problem-solving. It encompasses a holistic approach that combines analytical prowess, sound judgment, adaptability, and a strong sense of public duty. Effective decision-making means having the ability to navigate complex issues, often with incomplete information, and arrive at choices that serve the best interests of the public.

It involves considering the long-term consequences of decisions, adhering to ethical principles, and balancing the diverse needs and perspectives of a diverse society. A civil servant who excels in this competency demonstrates a commitment to transparency, accountability, and responsiveness to the ever-evolving demands of governance.

Showcasing Effective Decision-Making in Your 250-Word Personal Statement

When crafting your 250-word personal statement for a civil service application, it is crucial to showcase your understanding of effective decision-making. Begin by providing a concise but impactful example from your past experiences, preferably from a relevant role or situation where you demonstrated your decision-making skills.

Describe the context, the challenge or opportunity you faced, and the steps you took to analyze the situation thoroughly. Emphasize your ability to weigh options, consider multiple viewpoints, and arrive at a well-reasoned decision that yields positive outcomes.

Highlighting Key Qualities and Competencies

In your 250-word statement, highlight the key qualities and competencies that underpin effective decision-making. Discuss how you embrace critical thinking, data analysis, and risk assessment to inform your choices. Mention your commitment to ethical decision-making, ensuring that the public’s trust is upheld in all your actions.

Showcase your adaptability and agility in responding to changing circumstances and your ability to collaborate with diverse teams to reach consensus when necessary. By presenting concrete examples and demonstrating your understanding of the multifaceted nature of decision-making in civil service, you’ll convey your readiness to excel in this vital competency and contribute significantly to the public good.

• Changing & Improving – How to Write a 250-Word Statement For a Civil Service Application
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• Communicating & Influencing – How to Write a 250-Word Statement For a Civil Service Application
• Delivering at Pace – How to Write a 250-Word Statement For a Civil Service Application

How to Structure a 250-word Personal Statement?

Crafting a compelling 250-word personal statement for your civil service application requires a thoughtful and structured approach. Given the limited word count, every word and sentence must count towards showcasing your qualifications and suitability for the role.

Begin by introducing yourself briefly and explaining your interest in the position. A concise opening sentence or two should capture the reader’s attention and provide context for the rest of your statement. For instance, you can mention your current role, your passion for public service, or any relevant background that aligns with the position. Go into detail about your belief in making effective decisions.

STAR Method

After the introduction and establishing your personal philosophy or belief about decision-making, provide a snapshot of where your conviction comes from. Mention relevant roles or experiences that have shaped your view on decision-making. Next, use the STAR method to illustrate a scenario where you demonstrated your dedication to making effective decisions. 

Situation : Detail a particular event or circumstance where you were challenged to make a significant decision. The aim is to provide context for your evidence. This could be a project that you worked on, a challenging situation where you took responsibility, or a situation where you helped another person in decision-making.

Task : Here, delineate your specific role or responsibility in the mentioned situation. What were you tasked to decide or achieve? This sets the stage for your actions. Focus on what you did to ensure effective decision-making.

Action : Discuss your approach. How did you navigate the task? Which resources or strategies did you employ? If multiple options were present, how did you assess them? This section is pivotal in illustrating your effective decision-making process and thought pattern. 

Result : Highlight the outcome or impact of your decision. Was it beneficial for the decision-making process? Were there learnings you took away? Show the reader that your actions led to concrete, often positive, outcomes.

Proofreading and Conciseness

Ask a trusted friend or mentor to review it for feedback and ensure that it effectively communicates your qualifications and enthusiasm. By adhering to this structured approach and paying attention to detail, you can create a powerful 250-word personal statement that leaves a lasting impression on the selection committee and enhances your chances of success in your civil service application.

How to Write a Personal Statement Within the 250-Word Limit

To formulate a compelling 250-word statement, there are a couple of tips to help you get started. 

• Use the STAR Method : Ensure that each step of the STAR Method is concise and to the point. Balance the length of each section, and be clear and direct.
• Start with a Clear Plan: Before you begin writing, outline the key points and experiences you want to include. Having a structured plan will help you stay focused and avoid unnecessary details.
• Be Ruthless with Editing: Once you’ve written your initial draft, go back and edit rigorously. Look for redundant phrases or ideas that can be expressed more succinctly.
• Use Strong Action Verbs: Opt for strong verbs that convey your achievements directly, allowing you to express more in fewer words. For example, “managed” instead of “was responsible for managing.”
• Prioritize Relevance: Keep the focus on experiences and skills directly relevant to the civil service role. Avoid going off-topic or including unrelated anecdotes.
• Quantify Achievements: Whenever possible, use quantifiable metrics to highlight your accomplishments. Numbers can provide a vivid picture of your contributions.
• Avoid Jargon: While it’s essential to demonstrate your expertise, avoid using excessive industry-specific jargon that might confuse or inflate your word count unnecessarily.
• Condense Lists: If you need to list multiple accomplishments, group them into concise bullet points rather than lengthy sentences.
• Combine Sentences: Look for opportunities to combine related sentences or ideas. Condensing information can save valuable space.
• Use Contractions: Utilize contractions like “I’ve” instead of “I have” to make your writing sound more conversational and save a few characters.
• Seek Feedback: Share your statement with a trusted friend, family member, or mentor for feedback. They can often spot areas where you can make your writing more concise or clarify your points.
• Read Aloud: Reading your statement aloud can help you identify overly complex sentences or areas where you can simplify your language.
• Stay Mindful of the Word Count: As you make revisions, continuously check the word count to ensure you’re within the 250-word limit.
• Have a Clear Conclusion: Wrap up your statement with a concise and impactful closing statement that reinforces your enthusiasm and suitability for the role.

By implementing these tips and tricks, you can craft a focused, compelling, and well-edited personal statement that adheres to the strict 250-word limit while effectively showcasing your qualifications and passion for the civil service position.

Example Personal Statement Civil Service

Below, we discuss five different examples of civil service personal statements.

Example 1: Civil Service Making Effective Decisions 

Effective decision-making is the linchpin of any successful public service endeavor. This philosophy has been a cornerstone of my professional life, consistently driving me to ensure that the decisions I make are not only timely but also robust, inclusive, and sustainable. Drawing from my tenure as a Project Coordinator at ABC Organization, I’ve cultivated an acute understanding of the intricate balance required in civil service roles.

Situation : While spearheading a major community project aimed at urban sustainability, I faced challenges related to conflicting stakeholder interests, with both environmental groups and local businesses presenting contrasting priorities.

Task : My challenge was to harmonize these varied perspectives into a unified, actionable plan that would serve the community’s broader interests without compromising our sustainability goals.

Action : I organized a series of consultative forums, bringing together representatives from each stakeholder group. Leveraging these discussions, I commissioned a team to map out potential solutions, weighing each against our project objectives. Through iterative evaluations and collaborations, we were able to devise a strategy that integrated economic and environmental considerations.

Result : The project was executed with unanimous stakeholder approval, setting a precedent for future initiatives. It underscored the importance of consultative, data-driven decision-making in achieving outcomes that resonate with a diverse set of stakeholders.

In seeking a role within the Civil Service, I aspire to apply and further hone these decision-making skills, aiming for impact, inclusivity, and innovation in every endeavor.

Example 2: Civil Service Making Effective Decisions 

Throughout my career, the belief that purposeful and strategic decision-making lies at the heart of successful public service has remained unwavering. My role as a Community Outreach Manager at XYZ Council has provided me numerous opportunities to shape decisions that have far-reaching consequences.

Situation : In one pivotal instance, we were tasked to rejuvenate an underused public park, but budget constraints and community concerns regarding the disruption posed significant challenges.

Task : My primary responsibility was to deliver a revitalized park that met community needs, preserved local heritage, and stayed within budget.

Action : Recognizing the importance of community buy-in, I initiated a two-pronged approach. First, I facilitated a series of community engagement workshops to understand their aspirations for the space. Concurrently, I collaborated with financial analysts to draft potential budget scenarios. Integrating the community’s feedback, I proposed a park redesign that incorporated historical landmarks, community spaces, and eco-friendly facilities. I also identified potential sponsorships and grants to offset costs, ensuring financial viability.

Result : The transformed park, unveiled months later, not only stayed within budget but also received accolades for its blend of heritage and innovation. Visitor numbers surged, and the park became a community hub, testifying to the success of the decisions made.

As I look to contribute to the Civil Service, I bring with me this meticulous approach to decision-making, ensuring that every choice is rooted in research, collaboration, and a deep commitment to community welfare.

Example 3: Civil Service Making Effective Decisions 

In the realm of public service, I am aware that decisions resonate beyond the confines of a spreadsheet or a meeting room. As an Urban Development Strategist at LMN Planners, my actions directly influenced community well-being and long-term city growth.

Situation : We were confronted with revitalizing an old district, a mosaic of dilapidated buildings, and a rich historical legacy. The easy route was to raze and rebuild, but this would erase invaluable cultural history.

Task : My challenge was to integrate modern urban planning with heritage preservation, creating a vibrant, functional, and historically resonant space.

Action : Collaborating with a team of historians, architects, and community leaders, I organized town hall sessions to understand local sentiments and aspirations. We then used 3D mapping tools to overlay modern designs onto the historical structures, aiming to blend the old with the new. By reallocating certain commercial zones, we introduced a pedestrian-friendly layout, prioritizing communal spaces while retaining iconic landmarks.

Result : The district’s transformation became emblematic of merging past and future. It witnessed increased footfall, reinvigorated business activities, and was featured in architectural journals. Most importantly, it preserved the narratives and histories of its inhabitants while catering to the needs of a modern city.

Entering the Civil Service, my vision is clear: to make decisions that respect our past, understand our present, and anticipate our future. I am driven by the goal of making choices that not only solve today’s problems but also respect the tapestry of our shared histories.

Example 4: Civil Service Making Effective Decisions 

Decisions made in public service carry an inherent weight of responsibility, echoing across communities and generations. My tenure as a Sustainability Lead at XYZ Initiatives has refined my perspective on decision-making, ensuring it’s both informed and impactful.

Situation : Amid a citywide push for greener infrastructure, I encountered a dilemma where a proposed green belt conflicted with an area earmarked for essential urban development.

Task : My mandate was to find a middle ground: fulfilling our environmental commitment without hindering urban growth.

Action : Recognizing the multifaceted nature of the issue, I spearheaded an interdisciplinary team comprising urban planners, environmentalists, and community representatives. Through a series of workshops, we mapped out the potential overlap between the green initiative and urban development. Leveraging Geographic Information Systems (GIS), we visualized alternative configurations that could serve both objectives. This techno-social approach facilitated the identification of areas for green corridors that enhanced, rather than impeded, urban progression.

Result : Our innovative solution resulted in not only preserving 80% of the original green belt but also enhancing urban connectivity and accessibility. This initiative was subsequently hailed as a blueprint for sustainable urban planning, capturing the essence of effective and symbiotic decision-making.

In joining the Civil Service, I seek to embody this balanced and integrative approach to decision-making, always striving for solutions that serve the multifaceted needs of our diverse communities while upholding the principles of sustainability and progress.

FAQ: Civil Service Making Effective Decisions

• This competency focuses on your ability to make clear, informed, and effective choices by analyzing available information, evaluating risks and implications, and considering both current and future impacts.
• Since your role carries public responsibility, the decisions you make must be in the best interests of the public, sustainable, and considerate of both immediate and long-term implications.
• You can use the STAR method (Situation, Task, Action, Result) in your personal statement or interview responses to provide structured examples of your past decision-making experiences.
• While individual departments might have their preferred tools, the general emphasis is on evidence-based decision-making, collaboration, and consistent evaluation.
• Examples might include determining budget allocations, selecting policy options, deciding on strategies for public engagement, or prioritizing departmental objectives.
• Yes, regardless of your position, making effective decisions and encouraging others to do so as well is essential for success in the Civil Service.
• Yes, the Civil Service often provides training programs, workshops, and resources focusing on decision-making, leadership, and other core competencies.

Related posts:

• Delivering at Pace – How to Write a 250 Word Statement For a Civil Service Application
• Communicating & Influencing – How to Write a 250 Word Statement For a Civil Service Application
• Leadership – How to Write a 250 Word Statement For a Civil Service Application
• Changing & Improving – How to Write a 250 Word Statement For a Civil Service Application
• Civil Service Interview Questions & Answers

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Natalja Atapin

Natalja Atapin is a seasoned job interview and career coach at Megainterview.com and brings a decade of recruitment and coaching experience across diverse industries. Holding a master's degree in Organisational Psychology, she transitioned from coaching to managerial roles at prominent companies like Hays. Natalja's passion for simplifying the job search process is evident in her role at Megainterview.com, where she contributes practical strategies to assist professionals and fresh graduates.

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