argumentative essay about premarital sex

Real Reasons for Sex Before Marriage

The practical reasons for premarital sex trump religion and morality..

Posted July 19, 2017 | Reviewed by Ekua Hagan

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More people today are sexually active before marriage than ever before. The true reasons are practical and have little to do with changing belief systems.

In America a century ago, only a small minority of women were sexually active before marriage (about 11 percent) (1), compared to a large majority today. The same pattern is observed in other developed countries.

Why are women in developed countries more sexually active before marriage? A long list of practical explanations cut across all belief systems:

Contraception

With the wider use of effective contraceptives, young women do not fear unwanted pregnancy so much as earlier generations did.

The key event here was the widespread adoption of the contraceptive pill in the early 1970s. Because this was highly effective and female-controlled, it took away most of the anxiety about unwanted pregnancy.

Reduced Parental Supervision

Teens are less supervised after school if both parents work full-time and may take advantage of this opportunity for sexual activity. Increased enrollment in higher education means that a lot of young women live apart from their families in an environment that encourages sexual expression. This is in marked contrast to sexually restrictive societies, where young, single women are heavily chaperoned by relatives.

Earlier Sexual Maturation of Women and Later Age of Marriage

In the 1860s, women did not mature reproductively until the age of 16 years, compared to 11-12 years today (2). First marriages are later today also, with European women postponing matrimony until the age of about 29. So there is a very long interval of about 10-20 years between puberty and marriage during which complete sexual abstinence is unlikely.

More Women in the Workforce

As more women enter paid employment and careers, they spend more time preparing for the workforce through third-level education. So the number of single, never-married young women is on the rise. Most of these women are sexually active.

More Gender Equality in Jobs

Women used to be far more economically dependent on fathers and husbands. With greater economic independence and more female-headed households, women are freer to control their sex lives, as feminist writers like Helen Gurley Brown (3) pointed out. This means more premarital sex and increased single parenthood .

Women Are More Competitive and Sensation-Seeking

Contemporary women are more competitive in a number of arenas, from sports to education, politics , and careers. Competitiveness is associated with a hormone profile of high sex drive in both sexes (4). Women's risk profile is converging with that of men, as illustrated by rises in problem drinking and dangerous driving. They are also less risk-averse in sexual matters, increasing premarital sexuality .

Declining Marriage

About a fifth of American women never marry (5). Of those who do marry, the chances of remaining married to the same person for life are low. The time spent in marriages is decreased by divorce , even if most divorcees remarry. In the U.S., close to half of first marriages end in divorce, and the typical duration of a first marriage is only seven years. Between non-marriage, late marriage, and frequent divorces, larger numbers of women live as singles than ever before, boosting premarital sex.

The Mate Market

A large number of sexually active, single women means that men do not need to marry to enjoy an active sex life. If a man may sleep with various attractive women without any long-term commitment, he is less likely to propose marriage to any of them. So romantic relationships are negotiated on the basis of what typical men want, which is sex early in a relationship with little in the way of a permanent commitment such as marriage. (Note the irony that with “sexual liberation,” women actually lost power in relationships at the same time that they gained power in the economy.)

In a recently-published paper, I tested out some of these ideas in a comparison of 40 countries (6). My analysis looked at acceptance of premarital sex (that is almost perfectly correlated with self-reported sexual behavior).

I found that premarital sex increases in more developed countries that have higher-paid labor force participation by women. Premarital sex increases in countries having weak marriages (i. e., low marriage rates, and high divorce rates). Countries where more children are born outside of marriage are more accepting of premarital sexuality, but very religious countries strongly reject it.

Some of these, such as Pakistan, have severe penalties for premarital sex, up to and including so-called honor killings. In such cases, the impact of religion on sexual behavior is likely more practical than doctrinal. If so, it fits the pattern of sexual behavior adapting to local costs and benefits.

1 Caplow, T., Hicks, L., & Wattenberg, B. J. (2001). The first measured century: An illustrated guide to trends in America, 1900-2000. La Vergne: TX: AEI Press.

2 Daly, M., and Wilson, M. (1983). Sex, evolution, and behavior. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth.

3 Gurley Brown, H. (1962). Sex and the single girl. New York: Bernard Geis.

4 Cashdan, E. (2008). Waist-to-hip ratios across cultures: Trade-offs between androgen- and estrogen-dependent traits. Current Anthropology, 49, 1099-1107.

5 Klinenberg, E. (2012). Going solo: The extraordinary rise and surprising appeal of living alone. New York: Penguin.

6 Barber, N. (2017 b). Cross-national variation in attitudes to premarital sex: Economic development, disease risk, and marriage strength. Cross-Cultural Research, 1-15. DOI: 10.1177/1069397117718143

Nigel Barber, Ph.D., is an evolutionary psychologist as well as the author of Why Parents Matter and The Science of Romance , among other books.

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Premarital Sex Attitudes Among Youth and Adults Research Paper

Introduction, methodology, works cited.

The project is dedicated to people’s attitudes towards the issue of premarital sex. The purpose of the report is to find out the similarities and differences in people’s treatment of the issue. The research aims at finding out whether people’s age, education, ethnicity, gender, and other demographic data have a common or divergent impact on their attitude to premarital sex. The theory is that the level of education and age impact people’s opinions about premarital sex. The hypothesis of the project is that adult females are more likely to disapprove of premarital sex than other age and gender groups.

To obtain the data necessary for the project, I did a survey. I prepared a questionnaire (see Appendix A) consisting of 19 questions: 6 questions regarding their personal data, 8 questions regarding their attitude to premarital sex, and 5 questions about their premarital sex experience (1 question about having the experience and 4 questions for those who answered positively the first one). The type of survey was true or false. The participants were required to enter their demographic data (age, gender, race/ethnicity, marital/living status, sexual orientation, and education). Then, they were suggested 8 questions that were aimed at finding out their attitude towards the issue. The questions were created in such a way which allowed to find out whether people felt positive or negative about premarital sex and why they felt so. The third block of questions was to be answered by those who admitted having practiced premarital sex.

The survey did not require the participants to reveal their names, phone numbers, or addresses. It was designed for purely informational purposes and was completely anonymous. Since most of my friends and family felt uncomfortable taking the survey, I had to find other respondents to obtain twenty completed questionnaires. I distributed the survey among the visitors to a local café and park, and I obtained several participants’ answers via the internet.

The average age of the participants was 36 years old, the youngest being 17, and the oldest being 63. Half of the participants were female, and the other half were male. 16 participants reported straight sexual orientation, and 4 were homosexual (three males and one female). 5 participants were at high school, 1 was at college, and 14 people finished a university (2 of them had a Bachelor’s degree, 8 had a Master’s degree, and 4 obtained a Ph.D. level). What concerns ethnicity, 10 respondents were white Americans, 6 were African Americans, 3 were Asian, and 1 was European. The participants’ marital/living status was reported as a single for 6 people, in a relationship – 3 people, married – 8, and divorced – 3 people. The variety of demographic data allowed to obtain the results from different populations, which gives more reliability to the obtained outcomes.

The results were analyzed and synthesized to find the common and divergent opinions concerning the issue.

65% of respondents disapproved of premarital sex, among them 46.15% males and 53.84% females. However, only 35% of the participants are being judgmental about the issue of premarital sex.

72.72% of respondents at the age of 17- 33 (the “millennials”) reported their disapproval of premarital sex, but 45.45% of those disapproving it admitted practicing it.

55.55% of respondents at the age of 41- 63 reported their disapproval of premarital sex, but 100% of them admitted practicing it. Out of this age group, 50% females expressed their disapproval and 50% females were not against it.

25% of participants reported that their attitude towards premarital sex was impacted by family upbringing. 60% of males considered premarital sex beneficial for the future family, whereas only 20% of females reported the same.

None of the respondents considered premarital sex the main cause of sexually transmitted diseases. 20% of females considered premarital sex the major reason for undesired pregnancy and abortions.

The average number of sexual partners reported by respondents between 17 and 33 years old was 3, and for the respondents between 41 and 63 years old, it was 3.77.

55% of respondents were or had been married. Out of these, 72.72% practiced premarital sex. 36.36% male and 9.09% female respondents who were or had been married said that premarital sex could cause mistrust among the partners if they lost virginity to other people. 20% of respondents had married or planned to marry their first premarital sex partners. 42.8% of females and 37.5% of males regretted having practiced premarital sex. Out of the females, 66.66% of younger respondents (17-31 years old) and 33.33% of older (41-60 years old) regretted having practiced premarital sex.

10% males and 20% females admitted the negative impact of premarital sex on their decision to marry the partner. 20% males and 5% females admitted the positive impact of premarital sex on their decision to marry the partner. 45% did not report any impact.

According to the General Social Survey results, people tend to change their attitudes towards premarital sex (Kraft). Over the last fifty years, the number of those who do not disapprove of it rose from 29% in the 1970s to 58% in 2012 (Kraft). In my report, 65% of people feel negative about the issue. However, only one-third of the respondents feel judgmental. Furthermore, many of those who disapprove of premarital sex admitted having practiced it. 55.55% of female participants between 40 and 61 years old disapproved of premarital sex. This result does not coincide with the hypothesis about adult females being more likely to disapprove of premarital sex than other age and gender groups. However, such result is common in other studies. According to research performed by Elias et al., people’s permissiveness of premarital sex is higher in the younger age (131). A study by Wright supports this idea and reports that young people are less opposed to premarital sex, and the tendency is growing (89).

Fernández-Villaverde et al. argue that the youth’s attitude to premarital sex is not connected with church’s or parents’ influence as long as contraceptives allow young people to avoid undesired pregnancy (27). However, a quarter of my respondents admitted that they felt the family impact when forming their attitude to premarital sex.

Elias et al. mention that married people are less permissive of premarital sex than single people (132). The results of my questionnaire agree with this argument as many of the married respondents reported their negative attitude of premarital sex. Some of them regretted having practiced it, and some even considered it a serious barrier to trust between spouses.

According to Ghebremichael and Finkelman, there is a higher risk of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) among women engaging in premarital sex (61). However, my survey showed that neither female nor male respondents considered these two issues connected. This controversy signifies the importance of increasing the population’s literacy concerning STDs. The same thing concerns the abortion rates. While the survey participants do not tend to associate premarital sex with unwanted pregnancy and abortion, Teferra et al. report a high level of abortion among young women (2).

The hypothesis of the project was not justified. Among the participants of the survey, older females did not report higher disapproval of premarital sex. The results of the survey are contradictory to the findings of some research articles. This situation can be explained in two ways. For one thing, people’s attitudes tend to alter very fast and frequently. Thus, the data incorporated in the current project is more modern. However, there may be another explanation of the divergences. The number of participants in the current project was much smaller than the number of people surveyed for the articles discussed.

Questionnaire about Attitudes to Premarital Sex (PS)

Elias, Vicky L., et al. “Long-Term Changes in Attitudes Toward Premarital Sex in the United States: Reexamining the Role of Cohort Replacement.” Journal of Sex Research , vol. 52, no. 2, 2015, pp. 129-139.

Fernández-Villaverde, Jesús, et al. “From Shame to Game in One Hundred Years: an Economic Model of the Rise in Premarital Sex and Its De-Stigmatization.” Journal of the European Economic Association , vol. 12, no. 1, 2014, pp. 25-61.

Ghebremichael, Musie S., and Finkelman, Matthew D. “The Effect of Premarital Sex on Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs) and High Risk Behaviors in Women.” Journal of AIDS and HIV Research , vol. 5, no. 2, 2013, pp. 59-64.

Kraft, Amy. “Changing Attitudes about Premarital Sex, Homosexuality.” CBS News , 2015. Web.

Teferra, Tomas Benti, et al. “Prevalence of Premarital Sexual Practice and Associated Factors among Undergraduate Health Science Students of Madawalabu University, Bale Goba, South East Ethiopia: Institution Based Cross Sectional Study.” PanAfrican Medical Journal , vol. 20, no. 209, 2015, pp. 1-11.

Wright, Paul J. “Americans’ Attitudes Toward Premarital Sex and Pornography Consumption: A National Panel Analysis.” Archives of Sexual Behavior , vol. 44, no. 1, 2015, pp. 89-97.

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 An Argumentative Essay On Premarital Sex

Reconciling the diverse opinions on the issue of premarital sex is not a task that can be achieved without engaging in critical analytical reasoning. To a great extent, the disparity in views on premarital sex is a function of the different cultures and moral templates of people across the globe. However, the controversy on premarital sex can be simplified into a single question: Is premarital sex morally justified or not? Is it a vice or a virtue?

The pleasure involved in the subject has not helped those who indulge in it to give an unbiased view about it. The fun derived from sex has not only obscured the truth about sex, but it has also redefined the divine purpose of sex. Theologically, God’s purpose in creating sex is to consummate a man and woman in a solemn wedlock. The Bible says that any sex outside of wedlock is a sin…”You shall not commit adultery” (Matthew 5:27).

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The book holy to Muslims, the Holy Quran, also prohibits premarital sex and preaches chastity in women. They should be chaste and not commit illegal sex, nor take a boyfriend” (Quran 4:25, Yussuf Ali’s English Interpretation). The two major religions in the world explicitly state that sex is ordained by God as a sacred practice between a man and a woman in holy matrimony.

Apart from the theological argument, socially, too, premarital sex is not good. The reasons for this claim are many. One that readily comes to mind is teenage pregnancy, which keeps increasing at an alarming rate. We all know that without premarital sex, there cannot be pregnancy in our adolescence. Teenagers, ordinarily suffering from juvenile delinquency, have chosen to escalate sex. The adults have not helped these youths either, with the immoral sexual scenes in movies and magazines that are circulated worldwide. Even advertisements without sex appeal are considered outdated. This has brought about the much-talked-about moral decadence in our society at large. Hence, premarital sex is invariably the genesis of our societal depreciation.

Again, this subject leads to other controversial issues such as abortion. Almost 50% of pregnant women have contemplated abortion at least once in their lifetime. The decision of whether to keep an unwanted baby or opt for abortion greatly depends on the readiness of the two expectant parents. Mostly in third world countries, especially in Africa where poverty is predominant, teenagers opt for quack doctors due to their low fees for abortion. This has led to complications such as the destruction of the patient’s womb, which may mean that the patient will never be able to conceive again, or worse still, it may lead to death.

Finally, many young women with bright futures and brilliant plans have been forced to abandon their plans and careers due to unwanted pregnancy, which often occurs at the peak of their careers. These are careers that could have propelled them to historic levels in their chosen fields.

The complications of unwanted pregnancy also have psychological aspects to them. These include the trauma of a teenager keeping her pregnancy from her strict parents and gossiping peers, as well as the fear of general condemnation by society. I believe all will readily agree with me that these complications can simply be prevented by maintaining one’s chastity and avoiding the momentary pleasure of premarital sex, which could lead to several moments of hardship thereafter. With all of these reasons, I believe this essay has rightly proven that premarital sex is bad and should not be encouraged whatsoever.

References:

• The Holy Bible, King James Version
• The Holy Quran, Yusuf Ali English Translation
• Joseph Omoregbe. Euthanasia and Abortion: A Philosophical View. AF Print, Ibadan, 2000.

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The Palgrave Handbook of Sexual Ethics pp 233–243 Cite as

The Immorality of Premarital Sexual Abstinence

• Alastair Norcross 2  
• First Online: 08 February 2022

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Many people claim that premarital sex is immoral. Some groups, such as “True Love Waits,” even pressure teenagers to sign a pledge to abstain before marriage. But, given the seriousness of the promises we make to each other when we marry, and the high incidence of divorce, with its attendant harm for all involved, especially the children, it’s actually premarital abstinence that’s immoral. We owe it to our partners and our children not to make serious promises before getting as much evidence as we can that we will keep those promises. To protect the institution of marriage, and for the sake of the children, we need to recognize the serious immorality of premarital abstinence.

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I say “almost certainly,” because otherwise, no doubt, some clever dick philosopher will devise an imaginary scenario in which some powerful monster threatens to unleash calamity and suffering on the world unless you promise to love, honor, cherish, and remain faithful to Donald Trump for the rest of your life.

Although the focus of this chapter is on premarital sexual abstinence, it should be clear that the arguments extend to close personal contact that goes beyond sexual activity, such as premarital cohabitation. A detailed discussion of the arguments as applied to cohabitation is beyond the scope of the chapter.

As I noted above, the studies themselves focus on cohabitation and not premarital sex. But even restricting the focus in this way, in order for what these studies claim to show to provide good reasons to refrain from premarital cohabitation, they would have to be combined with more extensive and intrusive studies that also measured at least (i) the extent to which people break their marriage vows within marriages, (ii) the effect on the well-being of all involved of such breaking of vows, and (iii) the differential effect on well-being of divorcing versus remaining in a failed marriage. It’s not clear how such studies could be constructed, but until they are, we learn very little of use from the existing studies.

Rosenfeld, Michael and Roesler, Katharina, “Cohabitation Experience and Cohabitation’s Association with Marital Dissolution”, Journal of Marriage and Family , Vol. 81, no. 1, 2019.

Ashley Fetters, “So Is Living Together Before Marriage Linked to Divorce or What?”, The Atlantic , October 24, 2018.

Kuperberg, Arielle, “From Countercultural Trend to Strategy for the Financially Insecure: Premarital Cohabitation and Premarital Cohabitors, 1956–2015”, briefing paper prepared for the Council on Contemporary Families , October 2018.

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Norcross, A. (2022). The Immorality of Premarital Sexual Abstinence. In: Boonin, D. (eds) The Palgrave Handbook of Sexual Ethics. Palgrave Macmillan, Cham. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-87786-6_14

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“The Moral Case for Sex before Marriage” Textual analysis

Updated 18 April 2021

Subject Physics ,  Reproductive Health

Downloads 43

Category Family ,  Health ,  Science

Topic Force ,  Marriage ,  Sex

Gender and Sexual Urges

Gender is one of humanity's most strong powers. Sexual urges are inherent in both humans and nature. When people are madly and intensely in love with each other, it is very difficult to resist.

The Normative Case for Sex Before Marriage

Jill Filipovic's essay "The Normative Case for Sex Before Marriage" attempts to convince the reader to recognize sex as a legitimate act of morality. Ms. Filipovic chooses to illustrate her point of view on sex in the post, which is rarely discussed. She also disagrees with the community's social system when it comes to opposing those evidence, such as the use of the term "premarital sex." She also uses interesting facts and logical reasons with an emotional appeal as support evidence to hold the reader’s interest throughout her entire work.

The Influence of Cultural Perspective

To begin with, the author acknowledges that the majority of the readers agree with her point of view. Culturally, to be morally sound, society chooses not to mention about having sex before the wedding night. It is obvious that Filipovic lives in the Western World which is barely concerned about premarital sex. As the consequence, most of her audience is absolutely associated with or based on western culture.

Author's Authority and Experience

Furthermore, the author’s state of mind and conditions such as her knowledge, her environment of residence, and her experience, give her an authority to write about this topic conclusively. Filipovic carefully provides an information about her culture and in her area to support arguments that are opposed from the social structure. Since her knowledge and experience are based on Western culture, she mentions that, “But 'waiting until marriage' is a cultural phenomenon – albeit one that isn’t actually happening for nearly everyone in the western world,” which reminds the reader that this belief is fading and will no longer exist in our society.

An Ironic Perspective

Although the term premarital sex sounds moral, beautiful, and pure, the author has multiple uses of quotation marks around the word “premarital”, which gives the reader an ironic meaning that it is different from the literal interpretation. From the article, the audience is actually today’s society, especially the group who believes to wait until marriage to have sex. Surprisingly, Filipovic uses a quotation mark around the word ten times for an ironic meaning in the article, such as “waiting until marriage,” “purity,” “the right way.” While the author is describing what society teaches us to believe about sex and marriage, she also uses the quotation mark to point out that she certainly doesn’t fully believe in what she is trying to point out as her views. To me, she may be speaking about her viewpoint to an audience that certainly does not believe in her point of views as such.

Interesting Facts and Examples

Interesting facts are also one of the impressive techniques that Filipovic uses to keep the reader attention throughout the entire article. To get the reader involved and comprehend the topic, the author uses interesting facts including examples to approach the audience. Besides the reader’s attention, interesting facts in the article also reveal today’s sex and marriage situation that people are coping with. Starting from the first paragraph, the author uses several famous pop star’s names as an example for her argument, “Pop stars from Britney Spear to Jessica Simpson, to the Jonas Brothers, to Miley Cyrus to Justin Bieber assert that they’re waiting till marriage… (at least, until someone leaks a sex tape).” These famous people are well known and serve as an idol to several continents around the globe. The author has used not only their fame but also their reputation as an example of today’s idols. This is much further from what they do in real life. Most of the pop stars are publicly supporting the idea of having sex after marriage yet most of them are seen or reported to engage in sex before marriage. This clearly shows how the idea of premarital sex has been altered at this era of changing times.

Statistical Evidence and Belief Change

Moreover, the author also brings up a few surprising statistics about sex. In regards to statistics and numbers, nearly every individual tends to acquire and commemorate after he or she receives reasonable information. From the article, the author states that “95% of Americans don’t wait until their wedding night,” “…having sex once a week instead of once a month is the ‘happiness equivalent’ of an extra $50,000 a year.” By using these interesting resources, which are not difficult to recognize afterward to support her position, it influences a large group of people to be more active in sexual activity before marriage. These overwhelming numbers also will tend to change the beliefs that most of the readers have had previously concerning the premarital sex.

Disadvantages of Traditional Views on Marriage

By comparing sex before marriage and after marriage, Filipovic provides a number of disadvantages of having sex after the wedding night and explains that the issue about sex could not be solved by marriage. However, it is obvious that after the author states her position against the premarital sex, she chooses not to mention the advantage of having sex after marriage. Instead, Filipovic maximizes and discusses disadvantages of holding traditional views on marriage, such as “higher divorce rate,” or “unhappier marriages.” These facts which may not be beneficial to most of the readers, make them facts make the readers continue following and accomplishing the premarital sex theory which alludes to sex before marriage as having some benefits.

The Need for Ethical and Responsible Sexual Practices

Moreover, the author also argues that sex before marriage has not reduced or solved most of the issues about sex in today’s society. Filipovic states that “Instead of fooling ourselves into thinking that waiting until marriage makes sex ‘good’, we should focus on the ethical and responsible sexual practices...” From the statement above, it is evident that the author emphasizes more on the ethical practices of having sex whether before or after marriage rather than basing so much on abstinence from premarital sex or encouraging sex after marriage which may not be conducted in an ethical manner and practice altogether.

Logical Reasoning and Emotional Appeal

In addition, to appear more intellectual and profound, the author uses a logical reason along with the emotional appeal in the article. In an educative point of view, it is known that sex involves the process of reproduction which develops from reproductive instincts for offspring. Unlike other species, the human is an unusual species that has extraordinary brain functions which are intellectually more complex. Emotional intelligence makes humans unique and distinguishes them from other creatures. The human brain has the ability to recognize psychologically high-level emotions such as ego, pride, or ignominy, which makes humanity learn and develop over time.

As the consequence, to persuade the audience, the author chooses to mention emotional appeals along with logical reasoning. For example, Filipovic argues that “…not everyone is going to get married, or even legally get married. The instruction to wait forever to experience a fundamental human pleasure is pointless and cruel”. For instance, in considering the homosexuals who may not be legally allowed to have their sexual rights enjoyed, this has caused a major shift in the belief into what premarital sex is all about. Therefore, this statement does not only demonstrate sympathy for those who could not enjoy their contentedness as human beings due to social constructs, but it also points out the limitations concerning both the cultural and legal circumstances for them as a logical appeal.

In conclusion, Jill Filipovic uses several remarkable techniques to persuade the audience. Starting from the first quarter of the article, she uses a number of interesting facts, including the idea of waiting until marriage for sex is a cultural phenomenon that isn’t actually happening for nearly everyone in the western world, not only for the reader’s attention but also for providing the reader with basic information about the topic. While the author is describing an argument, she uses quotation marks around the word “premarital” to remind and deliver the audience the ironic meaning of words that she disagrees. Furthermore, Filipovic chooses to provide logical reasons using emotional appeals such intimacy to get the reader aware of premarital sex beliefs in today’s society which is illogically and deliberately cruel for humanity. Jill Filipovic bravely delivers an unspoken message which contrasts the societal structure publicly by using several techniques in a unique way.

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• Iran J Nurs Midwifery Res
• v.19(4); Jul-Aug 2014

Premarital sexual relationships: Explanation of the actions and functions of family

Mahnaz noroozi.

1 Department of Midwifery and Reproductive Health, Faculty of Nursing and Midwifery, Isfahan University of Medical Sciences, Isfahan, Iran

Fariba Taleghani

2 Department of Adult Health Nursing, Faculty of Nursing and Midwifery, Isfahan University of Medical Sciences, Isfahan, Iran

Effat Sadat Merghati-khoei

3 Iranian National Centre of Addiction Studies, Institution of Risk Behaviors Reduction, Tehran University of Medical Sciences, Tehran, Iran

Mahgol Tavakoli

4 Department of Psychology, School of Education and Psychology, University of Isfahan, Isfahan, Iran

Ali Gholami

5 Department of Islamic Sciences, Isfahan University of Medical Sciences, Isfahan, Iran

Background:

Sexual behaviors of adolescents and youth are categorized as one of the main health priorities of a society because of high prevalence of human immunodeficiency virus/acquired immunodeficiency syndrome (HIV/AIDS), sexually transmitted infections (STIs), and unwanted pregnancies. Family is an important environment that is associated with a range of social and emotional behaviors of children. This study was aimed at explaining the actions and functions of families in youths’ engagement in sexual relations.

Materials and Methods:

Twenty-six single males and females of 18-24 years who were living in Isfahan participated in this qualitative research study. The participants had begun to have some form of sexual activities. Twelve other participants including parents, teachers, school counselors, clinical psychologists, family counselors, and health care providers also took part in the study. Data collection method was based on semi-structured interview and observing the sexual actions and interactions of youths at different levels. In order to analyze the data, the researcher used constant comparison analysis of investigation.

The results showed that five main concepts are involved in the formation of sexual relations before marriage, including “parents’ child-rearing practices”, “parents’ interactions”, “children's economic support”, “religious beliefs,” and “sexual awareness”.

Conclusions:

Based on the prominent role of the family in shaping sexual relations before marriage, it is necessary to educate and support families and also revise the neglected aspects.

I NTRODUCTION

Today, due to the advances in technology and its impact on the quality of life, addressing the health and its influencing factors has become important. Also, providing health for the society is considered as one of the main issues in any country. Sexual behaviors of adolescents and youth are categorized as one of the main health priorities of a society because of the high prevalence of human immunodeficiency virus/acquired immunodeficiency syndrome (HIV/AIDS), sexually transmitted infections (STIs), and unwanted pregnancies.[ 1 , 2 ]

Based on different research studies, it is estimated that about 50% of the 35.3 million population of those who are infected with HIV have got infected before the age of 25 years.[ 3 ]

Each day, some 500,000 young people, mostly young women, are infected with an STI (excluding HIV); among these infections, hepatitis B, genital herpes, and genital warts are not curable.[ 4 ] Research studies show that the rate of STIs, such as genital warts, chlamydia, and gonorrhoea, among teens and young adults is greater.[ 5 ] Besides that, unwanted pregnancies which are caused due to premature and unprotected sexual contacts in teenagers and youth would bring unsafe abortions and their heavy and long-term consequences which are either physical or mental. Sometimes, it would even bring death to such mothers.[ 2 ]

Over the past few decades, a significant number of adolescents and youth in most Western countries have experienced premarital sexual relations. The studies in Northern Europe and North America have shown that 50% of women have reported sexual contacts by age 17, and this percentage is increased to 70% by age 20.[ 6 ] National surveys have revealed that premarital sex is less in Asia in comparison to the developed countries. However, smaller in-depth studies focusing on youth have indicated that their sexual activity has clearly increased.[ 7 ]

Although sexual behavior in teenagers and youth is mostly due to the effect of sexual hormones, the role of psychosocial factors such as media, friends and peer group, drugs and alcohol, and family cannot be denied.[ 8 ]

Family is the important environment which influences a large number of social behaviors in children. One of the functions of family is socialization of children. In the socialization process, children learn values, beliefs, and the accepted behavioral criteria of their society.[ 9 ]

Family is an organized system which affects children. The daily routines of families and their relations and contrasts are regarded as a resource which has an effect on the growth of children. A healthy family creates a healthy structure and provides the opportunity for growth and development of children. In contrast, any problem in the family functions creates problem in the members’ behavior.[ 10 ]

In different research studies, the family environment is regarded to have an important role which defines the involvement of teenagers and youth in sexual relations. Manning et al . in their research study investigated the role of family on the sexual socialization and its relation with teenagers’ sexual behaviors.[ 11 ] Based on the work of Mazengia and Worku in a district in the northeast of Ethiopia, it was concluded that children's and parents’ inappropriate relationships are regarded as an independent predictor for early sexual relations in youth.[ 12 ]

In Iran also, there have been some studies on family and its role in the appearance of behavioral and risk-taking problems in teenagers.[ 13 , 14 ] But it seems that there has not been any focused and comprehensive research study on the role of family functions in shaping premarital sexual relations.

Like in other countries, Iranian youth are also at the risk of experiencing and involving in sexual relations. Research studies have reported that risky sexual behaviors have been observed among the young people of the country. In recent years, HIV incidence has increased through sexual transmission.[ 15 ]

Taking into account such observations and also the data gained from Iran's statistical center in the year 2012 which show that 15 million of Iran's population (about 20%) are in the age group of 15-24 years,[ 16 ] taking care of youth's sexual and reproductive health becomes a matter of huge importance. So, it is important to perform qualitative research studies to be able to prevent and control premarital sexual relations and inhibit risky sexual behaviors and their consequences.

In this research study, the actions and functions of family in shaping premarital sexual relations among youth are discussed.

M ATERIALS AND M ETHODS

This qualitative research study is part of an expanded qualitative research study conducted to explain the patterns of risky sexual behavior in adolescents and youth, and with the aim of explaining the functions of the family in shaping premarital sexual relations.

Participants

The study participants were 26 single men and women, of age 18-24 years. They were living in Isfahan. We selected the participants based on the criteria that they had begun to have some form of sexual activities, and volunteered to participate in the study.

Potential participants were enrolled from the university campus, parks, and gyms because a large youth population could be found in these places. The participants’ selection was based on purposeful sampling, and was continued by using network sampling technique. There was an equal distribution of women and men; moreover, the researcher used different parks and gyms around the city to be able to choose people of different economic and social status.

In order to reach to an expanded amount of information regarding the topic of the study and the aspects which may not have been scrutinized, 12 other participants including parents, teachers, school counselors, clinical psychologists, family counselors, and health care providers (nurses, midwives, and obstetricians) were enrolled in the study. To choose these participants, two methods of sampling including purposeful sampling (at first) and maximum variation sampling (people of different educational levels and professions) were applied.

Approval for the study was obtained from the Research Ethics Committee of Isfahan University of Medical Sciences. Informed consent, anonymity, information confidentiality, and the right of research withdrawal at any time were assured.

Data collection

Face-to-face in-depth semi-structured interviews were used to collect data. Most of the interviews were conducted in one session. The session with those participants who provided thorough information about the topic was divided into two or three sessions to avoid it being long and boring. Duration of the interviews varied from 45 to 135 min. The interviews were lengthened to reach the needed amount of saturation and richness.

Interviews were started with the main question, “what do you think about friendship and relationship between a single woman and man before they get married?” Later, the participants’ responses guided the interview process.

As the interview continued, it became more specialized and the content of the questions was the formation of sexual relations in youth, family functions, and other topics of related content.

The research environment was suitable for qualitative studies and was based on natural settings. All the interviews were conducted in an agreed place such as parks.

We found our potential key informants (one male and three females) after interviewing 10 individuals. They were more informed about the topics of the study and knew many young men and women who had already initiated sexual activity. In other words, these four participants were considered as the means to connect to the youth network. They showed their capability of being familiar with the culture of sexuality in terms of language of use, slang, and so on. They had a chance to observe sexual interactions among their peers and the circumstances which were impossible to be observed by the researchers.

The key informants also helped the researcher in finding further participants who had already started their sexual relations.

In this study, the first investigator also observed the youth in different fields besides the interview process. The first investigator also used key informants in observing acts, behaviors, talks, communications, and sexual interactions in different natural environments such as internet cafe, coffee shop, restaurant, shopping center, park, cinema, bus, gym, university, and recreational complex. The key informants were asked to write whatever it seemed to have a sexual nature among youth. They were asked to write these topics with a detailed look irrespective of any interpretation. The key informants were trained to write field note and the reflective journal on a daily basis. They reported 40 episodes of field observation.

Data analysis

Shortly after an interview was conducted, the script of the recorded interviews was transcribed word by word by the first investigator. The scripts and the recoded observations of the field work were analyzed by constant comparison analysis. All the new data were compared with the existing data in order to understand the differences and similarities of the incidents. In this way, the acceptable points were identified.

Data credibility was reassured with long-lasting involvement (16 months) with the participants and in the process of data collection. Besides the data collection duration, we created a rapport by a friendly relationship with the participants and close relationships with the key informants to have a trustful data collecti on procedure.

In order to truly and deeply understand the participants’ accounts, the researcher reread the data at least three times in different situations. The first investigator also tried to search and analyze the contrastive evidence by interviewing youth of different layers of the society. Investigation within different social and economic situations was carried out to collect various and rich data.

Discussion sessions with five different participants were conducted to collect their final views about the topic in order to fulfill member checking. Data confirmation was made possible by external checking. During the external checking procedure, three university professors including an expert in the field of sexual behavior, nursing, and clinical psychology, who were knowledgeable in qualitative data analysis, assisted the first investigator to confirm the data. They first rechecked the coded scripts, and mentioned their opinions about the coding method; later they suggested their own code lists.

Data transferability was made possible by the findings reviewed by four young people (including two young males and two young females) who had similar characteristics as the participants of the study but did not take part in the study. These people found the findings similar to those behavioral patterns they used to observe in their real life. Furthermore, we used external audit method of investigation to address the matter of dependability. This means the data analysis was done by an expert researcher who was not related to the study.

Out of 26 single youths of 18-24 years of age who participated in the study, 15 participants were females and the rest were males. Also, 15 people were students, 6 were employed, 1 was jobless, and 4 people were employed students. There was also a group of 12 participants (4 parents, 2 teachers and counselors, 1 clinical psychologist, 1 family counselor, 1 nurse, 2 midwives, and 1 gynecologist) who participated in the study.

Data analysis showed that family and its characteristics are categorized as one of the main factors in shaping premarital sexual relations. It also showed that five main concepts are involved in shaping premarital sexual relations in youths, including “parents’ child-rearing practices,” “parents’ interactions”, “children's economic support”, “religious beliefs”, and “sexual awareness”.

Parents’ child-rearing practices

Most participants agreed upon the fact that children need to receive emotional support from their family. They also mentioned that lack of friendship-based relations between parents and children, lack of love-based home environment, contempt and reproach, excessive command and prohibition, one-way relations, humiliating criticisms (especially in gatherings), inferiority, loneliness, hopelessness, ostracism (especially in teenagers) guide them toward having friendship with opposite sex.

A 21-year-old female stated:

“ The family that doesn’t have a friendly based environment … or the ones who don’t provide a happy environment … the child moves to have opposite sex friendship ”.

A participant mother mentioned:

“… the children who have emotional gaps from their parents … those who have selfish and illogical parents … those who behave like a boss with their child … such behaviours are really important in having opposite sex friendships ”.

As another reason, not receiving emotional support from parents is effective in guiding the children toward having friendship with opposite sex. In this regard, girls also need to have their fathers’ emotional support and love. If this love and support is not answered, they will tend to have friendship with opposite sex to fill the emotional gap. Females believe that in the case of lack of emotional support from father, the girl will accept any type of emotional behavior from boys and also accept his request for sexual relationship.

A 23-year-old female stated:

“… if families don’t take care of their children's needs of emotion and love or they don’t give enough attention, their children will be attracted to outside sources … when they meet the first boy who is interested in them, they accept. This happens in young ages most of the times (because the children are not yet mature enough). Girls of such families accept such boys at the very young ages and this relationship leads to unwanted ways (sexual relations) ”.

Participants also talked about the girls’ restrictions in the ways of dressing, relationships, and makeup. The females emphasized that they are even restricted on their behaviors with relatives. They said such behaviors have changed the boys as an unknown creature for them and girls start having opposite sex friendships (at younger ages) to know boys better.

“ Most of the times, families of our society raise girls in a completely closed environment. Girls are always told not to make friendship with him/her, do this, don’t do that, don’t take him/her into account,… girls think that they can have friendship with opposite sex and their parents don’t understand ….”

From another point of view, participants mentioned that if all the needs of a child can be satisfied in a family, and parents accept them all, the child will grow up as an expected child. Growing up as an expected child brings the idea that she/he is also free in satisfying the sexual needs and there is no bound.

“ I had a high school friend and she was also into her parents’ spotlight. They were always doing her things, helping her, satisfying all of her desires, and she finally went to have sexual relationship ”.

Participants frequently focused on the children's freedom and lesser parental control in family situations. They believed that the reason to have opposite sex friendship is not enough investment by the parents on their children's freedom and amusement, along with the decrease of parental control which opens the way to have such relationships. Participants said that parental control has decreased because both parents are working or the father has to work excessively to satisfy the economic needs of the family. Other reasons include parents’ separation, parents’ addiction, children's separation from family because of work or studies (studying or working in a place other than their home city), and the acceptance of such relationships by some parents.

A 23-year-old male stated:

“… well, for a father who works two working times, his only mental problem is working and money making… paying the bills, mortgages, and such things…. It rarely happens that he can think of children's issues… he has no time to think about such issues…. Sometimes it happens that parents know that their son has a normal relationship with a girl (not a sexual relationship), they say ‘that's okay, they are ordinary friends… let them continue ’”.

Some of the participants referred to the importance of parental roles in maturing and nurturing children's personality. They believed that making a healthy personality is the main factor in prevention of unhealthy behaviors and premarital sexual relationships.

A 24-year-old male said:

“… in general, the personality which parents create for their children is really important… for example, a family that raises the child as a mature, and educated one, she/he will never get the wrong way or get involved in an illegal sexual relationship ”.

Participants also referred to the economic status, beauty, and such matters. They said the girls who compare their family in different issues with their friend's family and see that theirs is in a weaker position think that the chances of getting married are little. In this way, they attempt to have opposite sex relationships (and even sexual relationship) to add to their chance of marriage. In this regard, a psychologist said:

“ Some girls who think that their family status is not in the right position and they can’t get married with good cases … they think it's a good way to start opposite sex friendships and if he asked to have sex … they accept. Girls think in the case of acceptance to have sexual contact, the boy will get involved with them and finally they can get married ”.

Parents’ interactions

Some of the participants referred to the conflicts between parents, unhealthy emotional relationships between parents, and their separation or divorce. They said that the gap of emotional needs which are caused in such families because of divorce, struggle, and conflicts makes the youths to start having opposite sex relationships. Mostly, girls in such cases attempt to have sexual relation to continue the relationship.

A 23-year-old male said:

“… when parents are divorced or they are in a frequent struggle/conflict… the emotional and kindness that exists in many families will be absent and this guides the young to have sex ”.

Children's economic support

Majority of the participants focused on children's economic needs (mostly girls’ economic needs). They believed that youth's economic dependence on their parents has increased in comparison to the past. This is because many more youths are interested in furthering their education at the universities. In so doing, their chance of having full-time or part-time jobs has decreased. The participants frequently mentioned the problem of youths wanting to satisfy their economic needs. The reason that families cannot allocate enough investments for youths is because of the existence of economic hardship for parents, extravagancy, excessive needs, and unexpected needs. Participants believed that girls in our society are not that free in satisfying their economic needs in comparison to boys, and this makes them more dependent on their parents. When girls’ economic needs cannot be satisfied, they have to rely on the opposite sex friendships, especially relationship with boys who spend money like water. Girls sometimes have to have friendship with several boys simultaneously. In this case, they even have to accept boy's sexual request to prolong the friendship.

A 21-year-old female said:

“… Some of my friends were making friendship with boys to be satisfied economically. To be satisfied economically, they had to prolong the relationship… to prolong the relationship, they had to accept boy's sexual requests ”.

Sexual awareness

Majority of the participants said that they do not receive sex-related information from their parents. They said talking about such topics is a taboo in families. Also, children do not receive sufficient information in this regard. What they may receive is a surface knowledge, sometimes late or even after their own experience. So, to satisfy their sexual desires, youths have to get involved in friendship with opposite sex and have sexual relationship without sufficient information.

“… well, if there will be any discussion in this topic, then that's only a little. And that discussion is from same sex parents, for example, a mother to her daughter or a father to his son, only a little. Parents say, you are religiously mature you must do this and do that … you must take care of such things … if this happened … you must behave like that. Parents never scrutinize such things for their youths to let them be educated ”.

A participant midwife said:

“ It is important to educate children in sexual topics. But because there is no education in this regard from parents (either to girls or boys), they have to act unconsciously ”.

Religious beliefs

Participants named religious beliefs as a restraining factor. Participants also focused on the role of family in shaping a voluntary belief in religion since childhood and its continuity to the rest of life. Participants mentioned that a weaker religious belief among youths is caused because of a weak family performance in this regard. They believed that fading behavioral beliefs such as honor, personal modesty, chastity, and not respecting the boundaries of relationship with opposite sex lead to premarital sexual relationships.

“… many youths are not in any bound with their religious beliefs. Family has also never wanted to have moral youths. If families try to empower their children religiously … they have prohibited their children from such friendships ”.

A participant father said:

“… if our child is really in bound with religion (not at face, not a surface follower), say pray, fast, (all these actions by heart and only because of God, not because of parents’ words), she/he will never get involved with the idea of sex for the sake of pleasure ”.

D ISCUSSION

What participants referred to as a necessity for the existence of emotional relationship and emotional support in families (especially for girls) shows the importance of the existence of a positive emotional atmosphere in families to satisfy children's mental health and in the prohibition of their opposite sex relations to reach satisfaction and love. In this study, the participants also focused on the problems of lack of emotional support (especially from fathers’ side) which can decrease girls’ protection (especially younger ages) from sexual requests obtained from boys’ side.

In Cornell and Halpern-Felsher's study, family problems were regarded as the reason for youths attempting to get involved in sexual relationships.[ 17 ] Fekadu observed that overcoming loneliness and relationship with boyfriend is regarded as the psychosocial factor which leads to starting premature sexual relationships in girls.[ 8 ]

Hockenberry and Wilson believed that those teenagers who feel that they are in a close relationship with their parents will better grow psychosocially. The researchers also believed that they have better behavioral qualifications and will be affected lesser by their peer pressures. Such teenagers are not that willing to get involved in risk-taking behaviors (like early sexual relationships).[ 18 ]

The results showed that single parent families (because of separation/divorce) and families with parents having conflicting relationships are more in danger of having teenagers who are interested in opposite sex friendships. The reason of such friendships is that the youths want to stay away from the tensions in their families. This happens mainly in girls, but they attempt to have sexual relationship with boys mainly to not to lose the relationship.

Cherie and Berhane, in a research study conducted in Addis Ababa among the youths of 15-24 years of age, found that living with both parents is the factor that protects the children from not involving in premarital sexual relationships.[ 19 ]

It seems that it is possible to avoid behavioral problems and premarital sexual relationships by creating emotional relationships, attachment, and commitment between family members. Girls can satisfy their emotional needs, especially through their father.

When youths seek emotional support from their parents, they expect to receive an equal emotional support irrespective of their gender. Participants focused on the restrictions laid by parents for girls in their dressing, behavior, friendship, makeup, and nearly everything.

In a study conducted in Philippines in 2005, it was observed that boys received more freedom from their parents and girls were restricted and protected.[ 20 ]

Participants believed that illogical family restrictions for girls make them greedy with regards to interaction with boys and this brings unhealthy relationships.

Participants also said giving freedom without boundary and not controlling the youths in a suitable way make them interested in having opposite sex friendship and sexual relationship. Studies show that freedom without boundary is regarded as one of the main social threats for teenagers.[ 21 ] In doing so, risk-taking behaviors such as substance use and early sexual relationships will be increased.[ 18 ]

It seems that creation of a bounded freedom for children can prevent any irrelevant restriction and closes the doors of misuses. In this way, parents can logically control their children.

In this study, the effective role of family in children's personality growth was focused. A strict personality is regarded as an internal factor that prevents the person from having premarital sexual relationships. Results of the study show that girls with low self-esteem and negative self-concept attempted to have premarital sexual relationships.

High self-esteem, which makes the core of personality health, is regarded as an important protective factor against risk-taking behaviors. Also, the teenagers with positive self-concept and who are feeling proud in a positive way can stand against the challenges of their age better. They can also be more independent.[ 22 ]

As Mckinney et al . believed, teenagers and youths who have high self-esteem make a delay in their sexual relationships.[ 23 ] Cornell and Halpern-Felsher also showed that low self-esteem is the reason for attempting to have sexual relationship.[ 17 ]

It is clear that the cause of many personality traits and behaviors must be sought within the family. It is possible to educate parents (by the help of counselors and psychologists) to let them grow their children's personality and increase their self-esteem.

The results show that parents have a negligible role in offering sex-related information to their children. That is why, children attempt to have sexual relationship without having the necessary information, and this puts them in danger.

The results of the qualitative study by Koohestani et al . in Arak showed that boys aged 15-24 years were not receiving the needed sexual information. Most of the boys said they became curious about sexual issues in their teens and this curiosity aroused many questions in them.[ 24 ]

In many developing countries where sex-related topics are a taboo, children rarely talk about such issues with their parents. They have to gain information from their friends and peers who themselves are not educated in this topic.[ 25 ] The teenagers who do not have truthful information in this regard tend to get involved in irresponsible sexual behaviors.[ 26 ]

To promote the reproductive health, it is necessary to educate in a true way. Reproductive health is regarded as a main part of human health. So, it is important to educate parents with truthful and enough information regarding sexual issues. This can have positive effects on youths’ sexual attitudes and values. In this way, youths’ involvement in unconscious sexual relationships will be decreased.

Results reveal that not taking the economic needs of girls into account (because of any reason) lead them to have friendship with the opposite sex. In this way, girls have to accept boys’ sexual requests to be satisfied economically. In different studies, the important effect of economic issues on girl's acceptance of sexual relations has not been denied.[ 7 , 19 , 27 ]

Sem and Wirtu, in a study among high-school teens of Ethiopia, concluded that the economic needs and hardships of gaining money and gifts (such as makeup kits, toiletries, dress, and accessories) are categorized as the reasons that girls get stuck in the pressure of premarital sexual relationships.[ 25 ]

The results of Zade Mohammadi and Ahmad Abadi's study also showed that the economic status of a family is regarded as one of the defining factors in sexual risk-taking behavior. In this regard, teens from families that are economically backward experience early sexual relationships more than others.[ 28 ]

It seems that the economic factor has a huge importance in girls’ involvement in the relations in which their economic needs will be satisfied. It seems that in this way, their needs will be satisfied in a false and immediate way. It is estimated that trying to add to the content of a family by funding the organization of family support and developing social structures which socially empower women can prevent girls from having premarital sexual relationships.

The weakness of religious beliefs due to poor family performance was also focused in this study. Brewster and Tillman showed in their study that not being familiar with religious values and beliefs since childhood is associated with youths’ involvement in sexual relationships.[ 29 ] Thus, religious beliefs in teenagers and adults are regarded as a protective factor against risk-taking behaviors and delinquency. This factor has an inverse relationship with early sexual activities.[ 30 ]

Studies show that youths who have no religious affiliation will start their sexual relationships earlier. In contrast, teens with religious beliefs that are abstinent will get involved in premarital sexual relationships with a lower probability.[ 31 ]

It seems that in the current society of Iran, which has moved from traditional era to modernism that has been facilitated by mass media such as satellite and internet and is also renewed with modern thinking (such as personal freedom), the possibility of involvement in sexual relationships is more. So, it is tried to internalize religious beliefs and values either in personal or social lives of youths and teens through their families to prevent them from having premarital sexual relationships.

C ONCLUSION

To conclude, participants defined the important role of family in shaping premarital sexual relationships. It is clear from the findings that it is necessary to let families receive the needed support and education in this regard, so that families can review the neglected aspects by the rich Islamic and Iranian culture.

Source of Support: Isfahan University of medical sciences -research project No 390436

Conflict of Interest: Nil.

R EFERENCES