The Ultimate Guide to Wedding Speech Order & Writing Toasts

Weddings are a blast, but the speeches—whether heartfelt or hilarious—remind everyone why they’re there: to celebrate two people in love. This wedding speech guide covers all the basics.

Lindsay Pietroluongo

Michelle Gonzalez Photography

Wedding receptions are undoubtedly about the newly married couple, but between music, catching up with friend and relatives, and sampling dessert tables, there is a lot going on. Once the wedding ceremony is over, the day can quickly go from dignified to lively and raucous (in the best way possible, of course), and the wedding speeches are possibly the last time every guest will be seated at once. They're also what's going to make your big day feel extra personal and sentimental when loved ones share their favorite memories of you and your partner. If you're planning your wedding toast or speech order, or if you're in the wedding party and need to prep for your own toast, follow these guidelines and tips to know exactly what you should expect. 

Wedding Speech Length & Content

Who gives a toast at a wedding.

Your parents/parent figures, wedding party members, best friends, or close relatives are generally the ones who give speeches or readings throughout your wedding celebration, but ultimately, you can ask whoever you want if it will mean something to you. Keep in mind that speeches are traditionally given at the rehearsal dinner, the wedding reception, and sometimes during the ceremony, such as readings or blessings. Here are all the wedding speeches you'll need to plan for and who traditionally gives them at each event—but remember this can change depending on your personal preferences and what does or doesn't apply to you as a couple.    

Rehearsal dinner speeches

Since fewer people will be in attendance, these  rehearsal dinner toasts  can be longer and more involved than wedding day speeches. Say hello and introduce yourself, then welcome everyone and say how excited you are for the wedding. Tell a sweet, hilarious, or intriguing story that’s related to the couple or the wedding. For example, give your first impression of meeting the bride or groom; talk about how the couple met or got engaged; or share a childhood memory, like how the bride used to try on her mother’s wedding gown when she was a teenager. End with something sentimental and heartfelt about the couple or a quote about marriage, then wish the couple well.

  • Host(s): The rehearsal dinner is traditionally hosted by the groom's parents (if applicable). The father of the groom, mother of the groom, or other host will thank guests for attending. 
  • Wedding party: While the best man and maid of honor speeches should be reserved for the wedding reception, this is a chance for other bridesmaids and groomsmen to publicly share their well wishes for the newlyweds. 
  • Couple: The couple will take a few minutes to thank their relatives and wedding party for supporting and celebrating them. 
  • Other family members/important guests:  Grandparents and other close relatives may wish to share an informal congratulations during the rehearsal dinner. 

Wedding ceremony speeches and readings

  • Officiant: In addition to coordinating your wedding vows, the officiant may wish to share a personal story about the two of you during the ceremony, especially if they're someone you've known for a long time or have been in pre-wedding counseling. 
  • Ceremony readers: Friends and relatives who aren't already in the wedding party are great choices when deciding who will give readings during the ceremony. 

Wedding reception speeches

  • Best man: The best man kicks off the wedding speeches by giving a toast shortly after everyone is seated at their reception tables. 
  • Maid of honor: The maid of honor takes the mic immediately following the best man's speech. 
  • Host(s): The wedding reception is traditionally hosted by the bride's parents (if applicable). The father of the bride and/or mother of the bride will congratulate the newlyweds and give a toast.
  • Couple: The couple may wish to say a few brief words to kickstart the reception meal and thank guests for coming. 

Every couple has their own preferences and relationships when it comes to who gives  wedding speeches and toasts , and nobody should ever feel forced to give one. If the best man or maid of honor isn’t comfortable speaking in front of a crowd (or if there isn’t a best man or maid of honor at all), either skip it or hand the baton to somebody who will love getting up in front of a sea of eager faces. If a lot of people want to make a toast, consider arranging traditional toasts during the wedding and save the rest of the speeches for the rehearsal dinner.

How long should a wedding speech be?  

No matter how long you've known the couple, it's best to keep your wedding speech under five minutes, and aim for closer to three minutes if you can. Even if there’s a lot to say, talking for three minutes can feel like a long time—but with a simple template, you'll nail your moment in the spotlight. A great speech doesn't have to be full of perfected, eloquent wording; instead, it should evoke an emotion and convey a genuine happiness for the couple. Short and sweet wedding toasts can still be filled with plenty of charm! 

What do you say in a wedding speech? 

Since you want to keep your toast short and to the point, it's best to follow a simple outline. Regardless of your role, a great wedding speech should go something like this: Start by introducing yourself and sharing how you know the couple, followed by a short anecdote or story, and conclude by sharing your love and raising a glass to the newlyweds. Here are other speech examples: 

  • How to write a best man speech »
  • How to write a maid of honor speech »
  • How to write a father of the bride speech »
  • How to give a joint wedding speech »
  • How to give a wedding speech if you hate public speaking »

What should you avoid in a wedding speech?  

Inside stories may amuse the couple, but they can easily get lost on the rest of the crowd, and the last thing you want is crickets or awkward silence. No matter what, don’t bring up old flames or problems the couple has faced—this is supposed to be a happy, lighthearted celebration. Not sure if that hilarious but questionable story from a night out is appropriate? Skip it—children, parents, and grandparents are listening! Avoid insult humor, too. Remember, this is a toast, not a roast! For more tips, here's  how to write a funny wedding speech .

Reception Wedding Speech Order

1. the best man.

You might think that being best man is all about planning a raucous bachelor party and not much else, but this job does have a few  best man duties  to prepare for, most important being the best man speech. And when it comes to the wedding speech order, the best man usually goes first. The best man should introduce himself and explain how he knows the couple. For example, he can tell the story of how he and the groom have been buddies since high school and how they met the bride-to-be during spring break their junior year of college. He can then say something positive about the couple and their relationship, show gratitude for being part of their day and wish them happiness. (Pssst! Here's  how to write a best man speech .)

2. Maid of honor

When thinking about wedding speeches,  the maid of honor is usually top of mind . While the maid of honor can follow the same outline as the best man’s speech, it’s more common for their speech to focus on the bride. Drawing from past experiences together, the MOH can tell a heartwarming or funny story from their friendship or share an anecdote from wedding planning escapades. For example, maybe the veil didn’t arrive until the day before the wedding or putting together the favors was a complete nightmare, but the bride managed to keep her cool through it all. (Here are all our tips on  how to write a maid of honor speech , from start to finish.) 

3. Parents of either spouse

If one or both sets of parents are hosting the wedding , they may choose to say a few words to welcome everyone to the event as part of the wedding speech order. This toast will be fairly fast, especially if the parents made a lengthy or heartwarming toast at the rehearsal dinner. The  father of the bride speech  or parents' toast usually welcomes and thanks the guests, and then raises a glass to the other set of parents and the happy couple.

4. The couple

Sometimes the couple will opt to make a toast, particularly  if they are hosting the wedding . The main purpose of this toast is to be a  wedding thank-you speech  to everyone involved: the bridal party, family and guests. Couples may also express their excitement about starting their new married life together. Again, this is an optional (but nice) part of the wedding speech order, so if the couple is hesitant about speaking in front of a crowd, they can go from table to table during the reception to express their thanks in a more personal, intimate way.

Related WeddingWire Articles

giving speeches at wedding

Order of Speeches at a Wedding: Who Says What & When?

Confused about the order of speeches at a wedding? We explain who says what and when in this comprehensive guide

Kim Burrows Photography

We always say there are no 'have tos' when it comes to weddings, you've got to do things the way  you want to, but if you and your partner are after some guidance on the  order of speeches at wedding celebrations, you've come to the right place. 

The wedding speeches  are usually given at a couples’ wedding reception, either before or after the meal, and getting the order of wedding speeches right will help ensure a smooth running of the day. 

There are no set rules when it comes to the wedding speech order and who says what in wedding speeches, but there is a nack to ordering them in the most effective way.

The Order of Speeches At a Wedding: Who Says What & When?

To help you out, we spoke to Marc Blakewill from All Write on the Night who gave us a breakdown of when each speech should traditionally be, what it should include and the best time to have your speeches during the reception.

Here, you will find insight into the traditional order of speeches at a wedding, as well as information on who says what in each speech, and the best time to have your wedding speeches. 

This truly is your one-stop-shop when it comes to wedding order of speeches, ready to get learning? 

  • What is the Order of Speeches at Wedding Celebrations? 

Who Says What in Each of the Wedding Speeches?

When is the best time for wedding speeches, expert tips to ensure your wedding speeches run smoothly.

Still looking for wedding speech tips and advice? Here are our top three tips for wedding speeches, in under one minute!

What is the Order of Speeches at Wedding Celebrations?

The traditional wedding speech order goes father of the bride, groom, best man and other toasts.

"In LGBTQ+ weddings, it is also common for both partners to speak but sometimes only one does," explains Marc. If you're having an LGBTQ+ wedding, you can decide on an order that works best for you. We've covered all the different ways LGBTQ+ couples can reinvent the speech section of their wedding.

"I would say the majority of speeches still follow this order. However, it’s now clear people also feel free to change it around," says Marc. Many  brides now choose to give a speech , as do the bridesmaids or maid of honour.

"I’ve seen all sorts of combinations, including the best man starting and the groom coming last. Moreover, the roster of speakers is no longer 'the traditional three' but might also include the father of the groom, the mother of the bride, the maid of honour or the bride herself," Marc explains. 

If you are including these, the order should go: father of the bride, groom, bride, bridesmaids/maid of honour, best man. But honestly, you can pick any order for your wedding speeches that works for you!

The order of wedding speeches is important, because each person (traditionally) is responsible for saying thank yous and making announcements within their speech. Here are the key things that you may want to include in each of the wedding speeches at your reception. 

What Should the Father of the Bride Speech Say? 

Danielle Smith Photography

Kicking off the wedding speech order is the  father of the bride speech . If the father of the bride isn’t present, this can be done by a close family friend.

The father of the bride should:

  • Welcome the guests he is hosting and thank them for coming
  • Welcome the bride's partner into the family and lead the toasts to absent friends and family
  • Compliment the bride, tell some heartfelt stories about her and say how proud you are
  • Praise the bride's partner and explain why you think they’re such a great couple
  • Toast the newlyweds

The father of the bride shouldn't:

  • Only include a list of thank yous - keep the speech witty and warm by adding a joke or two in among the thank yous
  • Speak for too long - as you are likely to be the first speaker you want to ensure guests stay alert and eager for the speeches that follow

What Should the Groom’s Speech Say?

The father of the bride’s speech traditionally leads into the groom’s speech .

The groom should:

  • Respond to the toast to the newlyweds by the father of the bride
  • Thank the guests for attending and their gifts
  • Thank both sets of parents
  • Thank and say a few words about key members of the wedding party. Toast and compliment the bridesmaids here
  • Toast their partner's parents if they are hosting

The groom shouldn't:

  • Spend too much time thanking the venue - a quick line will be appreciated but any more can become clunky
  • Give out gifts during the speech - this will take up time and can be done after the speeches or on the wedding morning

What Should the Best Man Speech Say?

The best man’s speech finishes off the wedding speeches – no pressure! The best man’s speech is traditionally expected to deliver the laughs so be sure to add in a few classic  best man jokes .

The best man should:

  • Echo the groom’s toast in thanking the bridesmaids
  • Compliment the couple, particularly the groom's partner
  • Tell anecdotes about the groom
  • Read out messages from absent friends and family
  • Lead a final toast to the happy couple

The best man shouldn't:

  • Be too harsh - try not to give the newlyweds a roasting 
  • Mention the ex - stories about previous partners will often fall short and cause awkwardness
  • Only include personal jokes - you might have a lifetime of drinking stories built up but remember to take the audience into consideration when you decide which stories to tell!

What Should the Bride’s Speech Say?

Karen Catchpole Photography

If the bride is going to give a speech, or to join the groom in a joint speech the bride should:

  • Thank her guests for coming
  • Thank her parents, especially if they are paying for the wedding
  • Compliment her partner and tell a romantic/funny anecdote about them
  • Raise a toast

What Should the Bridesmaid/Maid of Honour Speech Say?

Coming before the best man speech, this is a chance for the maid of honour to share her own funny anecdotes about the bride. The bridesmaids may like to share a short speech between them. Some are choosing to turn the maid of honour speech into a big occasion and prepare speeches, songs or videos that include all the bridesmaids and ushers.

The bridesmaids/maid of honour should:

  • Thank the bride and offer a story or compliment
  • Compliment the ushers

Traditionally the wedding speeches take place after dinner, with the father of the bride occasionally giving his before the meal.

"The speeches are seen as a highlight - something to build up to – and therefore the meal is a good lead-in. Many couples tell me they want their guests to be 'fed and watered' before the speeches start so everyone can sit back, relax and enjoy them. The noise from the guests will then be laughter and applause not rumbling of stomachs," explains Marc. 

Increasingly, couples are choosing to mix the wedding speech order up. It might be that you decide to do the speeches before the wedding breakfast so the speech-givers can then relax and enjoy the meal, or have a speech between each course so the guests don’t have to listen to a solid block of speeches.

If you decide to do this, chat to your wedding venue or caterers to make sure it's doable - you don't want to risk your meals going cold whilst someone talks for too long!

The best time for wedding speeches depends on the schedule of your day. Should you have a long gap between the ceremony and reception, your guests are unlikely to want to wait for their food until the end of the speeches. If you are having an informal meal like a buffet, there won’t be a chance for speeches during courses.

Most couples choose to have speeches after dinner when everyone is satisfied and has had a chance to relax.

Rosanna Lilly Photography

When deciding your wedding speech order, whether you go traditional or not, there are a few important things to consider. 

1. Think about how the person before you will end their speech. If they let you know, you can then alter your speech so it starts referencing the ending of theirs.

2. Set time limits.  "For example, if you allot 10 minutes maximum to the best man he’s unlikely to speak for half-an-hour. If he goes over with, say, 15 minutes, you’ll still largely be on schedule. Be realistic though. It’s actually harder for a speaker to write and deliver a great short wedding speech, than a standard length one of 7-8 minutes," says Marc. 

3. Ask the person before you to introduce you. This saves you from having to clumsily introduce yourself to the room and lets you know when it’s okay to start your speech.

4. Don't have too many speakers. "If you break the mould of having more than the traditional three speakers, where do you stop? Be strict with numbers," suggests Marc. 

5. Ask the other speech-givers what jokes, toasts, anecdotes and thank yous they plan on including in their speeches. That way you can make sure you don’t repeat them and can mix it up a bit so you can do different ones. You don’t want to bore the guests by repeating familiar stories.

6. Consider a master of ceremonies/toastmaster . Marc recommends this as, " they can ensure the speeches start at the appointed time and that the transition from one speech to another is done seamlessly. You must factor in that their opening and introductions to each speaker will add time to the overall wedding speech timetable or give less time to each speaker."

Don’t miss our guide to managing wedding speech nerves if you feel stressed about giving your speech. We also have nine tips for how to deliver an amazing wedding speech

Related Hitched articles

giving speeches at wedding

Junebug Weddings - Wedding Blog

wedding blog

Search our best vendors by location.

Photographers

Photographers

Planners

Videographers

Venues

All Vendors

Wedding planning, wedding inspiration, contests + awards.

giving speeches at wedding

search vendors

Photobug community, wedding blog, the ultimate guide to wedding speeches and toasts.

giving speeches at wedding

Image by Hugo Coelho . See more of this real wedding here . Read on about nailing wedding speeches and toasts

Wedding speeches and toasts may be the most daunting things to write and deliver, but they’re also one of the best parts of any wedding. They give guests a unique perspective on the couple, make you laugh, make you cry, and bring the room together. So, to take some of the pressure off your shoulders, here are some tried-and-true tips for writing a killer wedding speech and toast!

giving speeches at wedding

Image by Emily Delamater Photography . See more of this real wedding here

The Basics Of Wedding Speeches and Toasts

Who gives toasts and speeches.

Traditionally, the best man, the maid of honor (MOH), and both sets of parents give speeches for the couple. You’ll also find that the couple gives a welcome and gratitude speech. However, here at Junebug , we believe it’s entirely up to you and what you want for your special day. 

We’ve seen brides give the newlywed speech, and we’ve seen best friends give speeches instead of the MOH or best man. If you’re going the non-traditional route, we don’t recommend an open-mic situation where anyone can speak, and we don’t recommend having more than five speeches or guests will start to get restless.

When do speeches and toasts take place?

Most speeches and wedding toasts are given during the wedding reception , either before or after dinner. If you’d rather they be more intimate or you aren’t having a traditional reception, you can also have them take place at the rehearsal dinner .

What is the correct order for speeches?

Did you know that wedding speeches have a logistical order that is typically followed? While it may seem like such a minute detail, it actually makes more sense than you’d imagine. It usually starts with the couple. This gives you the opportunity to welcome and thank your guests for coming. From there, it traditionally goes in this order:

  • The hosts (typically the parents)
  • Maid of honor

Every couple has their preferences on who they want to speak and the order in which they want them to speak. As we mentioned earlier, it’s your wedding. If you have a maid of honor who hates public speaking, or you want your best friend to give the speech rather than your best man, go for it. The same goes for the order we just listed.

How long should wedding speeches and toasts go?

No matter how long you’ve known each other, try to keep speeches under five minutes. In fact, three minutes is the sweet spot. Even if you have countless things to say, three minutes can feel a lot longer than you’d expect. Keeping it short and sweet will keep everything, including the newlyweds, happy.

giving speeches at wedding

Image by Ana Hinojosa . See more of this real wedding here

Steps For Writing Killer Wedding Speeches and Toasts

The hardest part of writing a speech is knowing where to start. If you’re drawing a blank or having difficulty narrowing down the stories you want to tell, start by making a list of your favorite qualities about the newlyweds. Chances are there are many amazing qualities about them, so making a list of your top three favorites will help you craft a personalized speech tailored to them.

To expand beyond that, you can ask yourself these questions as well:

Questions To Ask Yourself

  • Is there anyone speaking before or after you? If so, how will it affect the content of your speech?
  • What is the general tone you want to convey in your speech? Emotional? Joy? Funny?
  • What are some of your favorite memories with the newlyweds? These memories can be based on the individual getting married or them as a couple
  • What do you see when you envision their future with one another?
  • Is there any advice that you want to share?

When it’s time to start writing, use the following general outline to help create a great speech from beginning to end.

1. Introduce Yourself

Tell everyone your name and a brief explanation of how and when you met the couple or how you’re related. Everyone may not already know who you are, so a little context will go a long way.

2. Tell A Relevant Story

Go back to the list you created and choose a story that reflects the qualities you love most about the couple. This should be relatable, endearing, and appropriate. Make sure you have a point to the story so that you can seamlessly tie it into your speech at the end.

3. Reminisce about the day you met their partner

Everyone in that room will likely have seen different pieces of the couple’s love story, so tell their story from your perspective. Talk about the day you met their significant other for the first time and the moment you realized this was the person they were going to marry.

4. Talk about what you love about their partner

Although your main responsibility is to talk about one of the newlyweds, every speech should ultimately be about both of them. Tell their partner why they are the best choice for your friend and what qualities you love most about them.

5. Talk about your hopes for their future as a couple

If you’re married, this is where you can insert your best piece(s) of advice for a healthy marriage. If you’re not married, wish them a long, happy, and healthy life together. Make your wishes and your advice personal to their relationship and end on a positive, optimistic, and heartfelt vision of their future.

6. End with a toast

Ending a speech can be just as challenging as starting it, which is why we recommend ending with a wedding toast. Ask everyone to raise their glass and toast to the wonderful couple—and, in your own mind, to the killer speech you just gave!

Junebug Tip:

The Art of Etiquette’s wedding guest books include ten speech sheets that will give a beautiful space for your loved ones to write the perfect speech that is short, sweet, and sentimental. We love that they’ve included these thoughtful speech sheets that will double as a wedding keepsake in your guest book.

giving speeches at wedding

Image by Annabelle Agnew Photography . See more of this real wedding here

Tips For Giving Wedding Speeches and Toasts

Don’t drink too much beforehand.

We love open bars at weddings as much as the next person, but you don’t want to be slurring your words or drunkenly rambling in front of everyone. Just a couple of sips of liquid courage will get you through those few minutes in front of the crowd, we promise!

Don’t make it about you

It’s okay to be relatable by telling a story, but remember that this speech is about them . After you’ve introduced yourself, move on to talking about the newlyweds and their relationship.

Don’t humiliate the couple

There’s nothing wrong with jokes. In fact, some of the best toasts and speeches inject humor throughout. However, don’t use crude language, tell inappropriate stories, or mention past relationships. The moral of the story is if there’s even the slightest chance someone could feel uncomfortable about something you want to say, leave it out.

Keep it short and sweet

We mentioned this earlier, but it’s an important one! Chances are there will be at least two other people giving speeches before or after you, so keep your speech to five minutes max . If you go any longer than that, the couple and their guests may start getting a little antsy. If you aren’t sure how long your speech will take, our next tip will help.

Practice beforehand

You practice for speeches for school and work, why should a wedding be any different? Rehearse your speech with a friend or in front of the mirror. It will help get some of the nerves out and allow you to make sure it all flows before the big moment. 

Keep in mind that you’ll naturally speak more quickly when you’re handed the microphone, so as you’re practicing make sure you remind yourself to slow down. 

Write your speech down

With all the excitement and nerves of the day, there is a good chance you’ll blank out or forget parts of your speech. Even if you plan to memorize it, write it down and bring it with you just in case. Nobody will fault you for holding notes–just be sure to look up occasionally!

Pass these tips along to everyone giving a speech and toast at your wedding, and get ready for some pretty epic and heartfelt moments! Then start thinking about how to keep the party going all night with these wedding reception songs guaranteed to get your guests dancing .

guide to wedding speeches and toasts

Image by Jordan Jankun Photography

You May Also Like...

Pastel New Zealand Wedding at Kuaotunu Hall

  • wedding planning tips , wedding reception ideas

One Comment

Being the standout at the wedding speeches and toast is quite tricky. You have to be funny for everyone, or even a heartfelt story to tell for the guest and couple. This guide really tick all the boxes for build an ultimate wedding speech.

Leave a Comment

Email * (will not be published)

XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

Currently you have JavaScript disabled. In order to post comments, please make sure JavaScript and Cookies are enabled, and reload the page. Click here for instructions on how to enable JavaScript in your browser.

Wedding Vendors

Photographers

Subscribe To Our Love Letter

Receive our favorite weddings, trends, advice and giveaways.

giving speeches at wedding

Advertise With Us

Contact Us for blog ad rates!

Junebug Member Blogs

Get inspired by talent from around the world

giving speeches at wedding

Published on Junebug?

Post our badge on your site to tell the world about it

Jennings Trace Logo – standard

How To Write A Wedding Speech: The Ultimate Guide For Do’s, Don’ts, and Delivery PART 1/3: Do’s

holiday wedding pros and cons

Holiday Wedding Pros And Cons

how to write a wedding speech dont's

How To Write A Wedding Speech: The Ultimate Guide For Do’s, Don’ts, and Delivery PART 2/3: Don’ts

giving speeches at wedding

  • best man speech
  • bridesmaid speech
  • how to write a wedding speech
  • wedding planning
  • wedding speech

how to write a wedding speech dos

how to write a wedding speech dos

Someone you love is getting married, and you’ve just been asked to give a speech at the wedding. What an honor! But also, if you’re not used to giving speeches, what a nightmare! Public speaking can be scary , which is why many people prefer to avoid it. But when your bestie asks you to make a speech at his or her wedding, it’s time to rally. But now you’re wondering if you even know how to write a wedding speech! What makes some wedding speeches fun and memorable, and what makes others cringy and fall flat? We’ve got you. We’ve put together the ultimate guide for how to write a wedding speech, focusing on things you definitely should do, things you definitely should NOT do, and then how to deliver your killer wedding speech like a pro.

If you’re wondering how to write a wedding speech, here are a few “Do’s” to keep in mind.

  • Start planning early
  • Introduce yourself and how you know the bride and groom
  • Thanks to hosts, guests, and wedding party; congratulate the couple
  • Make it personal
  • Think of 3 traits with 3 stories
  • Talk about the couple
  • Have a beginning, middle, and end
  • Consider your audience
  • Keep it short and sweet
  • It’s okay to be simple and meaningful

1. Start planning early

If you don’t know how to write a wedding speech but the bride just asked you to give one, this is not a time to procrastinate. Public speaking is one of the number one fears many people have, so it’s likely you’ve avoided giving too many public speeches before this. And unless you’re a performer or a veteran improv comedian, you might not do too well winging this one. If you get nervous in front of an audience (as most of us do), the best defense against freezing up when you take the mic is being prepared. 

As soon as you know you’ve been asked to give a speech at the wedding, begin jotting down notes immediately. Whenever you’re inspired by a thought of the couple or remember an anecdote that might be worth retelling, make note of it. This will help to give you a pool of ideas to draw from when you start writing down the speech.

Begin gathering ideas and writing the speech a couple of weeks to a month before the wedding. You’ll need time to edit, fine-tune it, and make it concise. And as wedding showers, bachelorette parties, and other wedding festivities begin, you might find there are entertaining stories from these events you want to add as well. If you want to write it all at once, you can do that too. However, make sure to sleep on it and come back with fresh eyes. You don’t want just “okay,” you want your speech to be heartfelt and meaningful.

You will also want to begin early to give yourself time to practice and rehearse your speech plenty of times.

2. Introduce yourself and how you know the bride and groom

No matter how large or small the wedding is, it’s likely you will not be familiar with many of the guests on one or both sides. And they won’t be familiar with you either. So don’t leave them guessing! 

Make sure when you start to write a wedding speech to introduce yourself and mention how you know the couple. This will help them understand the context of your speech, which will also help it to be more well-received. 

3. Thank hosts, guests, and wedding party; congratulate the couple

It’s also courteous to take this time to thank the hosts and other members of the wedding party for all the hard work that went into the event, and to thank guests for being there to support the newlyweds, especially those who had to travel far. 

It’s also a good time to officially congratulate the newlyweds and offer them your personal well-wishes for their future. It is imperative that you don’t forget this part, because they are the whole reason you’re there and giving a speech!

4. Make it personal

Whether you are the maid of honor, the best man, father of the bride, or just a friend, you were asked to give a speech because of your close connection and relationship with either the bride or groom (or both). 

And since you know your friend as well as you do, you probably have plenty of stories to share; so the next tip for how to write a wedding speech is don’t hesitate to make it personal and share those stories! This will also help guests get to know the other half of the couple they might not know as well or are just meeting for the first time. And those guests who do know them will love hearing some entertaining stories they might not have heard yet.

5. Think of 3 traits with 3 stories

If you’re finding it difficult to come up with anything, a useful approach for how to write a wedding speech is to think of 3 positive defining traits or qualities of the bride or groom and recount three stories or examples that illuminate a time they exhibited these traits. These stories could be comedic, heartwarming, or both. Just make sure they are relevant and entertaining!

6. Talk about the couple

If you’re the maid of honor and have been chatting up the bride for the whole speech, part of how to write a wedding speech is to make sure at some point it circles around to the groom, too, and to the two of them as a couple.  

Recount the time you met him, or how you remember talking about him with the bride in the beginning stages of their relationship. If you don’t know the groom all that well, talk about how good they are as a couple and about how happy he makes her. 

And If you’re not a fan of the groom, this is not the time to air your grievances. Always keep it positive. 

7. Have a beginning, middle, and end

All good speeches have a good flow and take the audience along with it. 

Don’t let your speech fall flat or jumble together in a haphazard confusion of disconnected anecdotes. Give it the structure of an overarching theme, with a beginning, a middle, and an end. 

We are not talking about a novel here, just make sure there is a direction to where the speech is going, and that the destination, end, or sentiment is achieved. It doesn’t need to be Charlie Chaplin in The Great Dictator, but a three-act structure does help keep you grounded. Most people also follow a story easier when there is a clear direction for a story or speech. 

8. Consider your audience

The next thing to keep in mind when considering how to write a wedding speech is to make sure you consider who your audience is. 

This is not the bachelor or bachelorette party. There will be a wide range of people present from children to the elderly, and from close friends of the bride and groom to casual acquaintances and coworkers. Make sure your speech is free of any crudeness that might not be fit for such a varied audience. Also, this isn’t the time to take a shot at any of the religious cermonies.

Be considerate and keep it positive and use language everyone can relate to. 

9. Keep it short and sweet

You want your speech to be meaningful and memorable; but the wedding is not about you, and yours is not the only speech. 

No one ever complains about a speech being too short, but they do begin to grumble if it runs on too long. A good rule of thumb to keep in mind when figuring out how to write a wedding speech is to keep your speech between 2-5 minutes long. Any longer than 5 minutes and you’ll lose everyone to thoughts of cake and whether or not to Cupid Shuffle later. 

10. Add humor

Don’t be afraid to be funny! Another tip for how to write a wedding speech is that if you’ve got a lighthearted, creative, joking side, use it and add humor to your speech! Everyone likes to be entertained. 

This doesn’t mean you should scour the internet for generic wedding-themed jokes, but if you’ve got some good original material to use that helps relate a story about the bride or groom in a comedic way, do it. As long as you’re not making fun of the couple but having fun with them, jokes are great. Or you can even poke fun at yourself to illuminate a higher quality in your bestie. It’s all about making the newlyweds shine. 

If you’re creative and have other talents, use them! If you are musical, bust out your instrument and/or vocal cords and make the speech in the form of a song! Use props, and get the other guests involved! The newlyweds will feel special because you created something for them, and the guests will love joining in the fun.

11. It’s okay to be simple and meaningful

If entertaining isn’t your thing, that’s okay! Don’t force it – just be yourself. It’s okay to be simple and meaningful with your speech. Always keep in mind when you go to write a wedding speech that what’s important is that you are genuine and speak from the heart.

Hopefully, you found these tips for how to write a wedding speech helpful, and can start writing today! And stay tuned to our blog for the next part in this ultimate guide for how to write a wedding speech where we highlight a few things you should definitely avoid.

Love this content and want more? Read more about weddings on our blog ! Involved in the wedding planning process and the bride is still looking for a venue ? Give us a call today and we’ll help you find the perfect place!

Jennings Trace

Jennings Trace

Related posts.

giving speeches at wedding

Rock Your Eco-Friendly Wedding

giving speeches at wedding

G L A M O R O U S – Outrageously Expensive Weddings

giving speeches at wedding

Perfect Wedding Hairstyles: Up or Down?

giving speeches at wedding

I need an example of a good wedding speec for the bride.Its my first time.

[…] infusing genuine emotion into your wedding speech is essential for creating a heartfelt connection with the audience. Expressing warmth, sincerity, […]

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

Take advantage of our special offer! $1,000 off inclusive packages for 2024! Saturdays are available and openings will fill up quickly so please contact us to secure one of our available dates. * Offer valid for new bookings only.

To revisit this article, visit My Profile, then View saved stories .

How to Write—And Deliver—The Perfect Wedding Speech

By Shelby Wax

How to Write a Perfect Wedding Speech

We may earn a commission if you buy something from any affiliate links on our site.

If one of your nearest and dearest is tying the knot, it’s possible you may be asked to give a speech during the wedding festivities. And while having an opportunity to share your love and memories at a major milestone event is an honor, there’s no denying that it’s a big ask—especially if public speaking isn’t your forté. A wedding speech presents a unique challenge: There’s no set formula for how the speech should play out, but it often requires sentimentality, a touch of humor, and the good sense to know when to wrap it up.

Are you a member of the wedding party that wants to (or has been asked to) give a toast at an upcoming celebration? Read ahead to learn how to write and prepare for your big moment.

Who Gives a Wedding Speech?

Image may contain Housing Building Architecture House Villa Person Adult Dress Clothing Formal Wear and People

First off, it’s important to make sure that the couple definitely wants you to give a toast at their celebrations. Traditionally, the maid of honor, best man, and parents of the couple will give a speech at the wedding. However, the couple should explicitly ask these guests well in advance to give a speech so they have plenty of time to prepare. They may also choose additional wedding party members to give toasts at the reception or pre-wedding parties; but if the couple has not asked you to give a speech, do not prepare one. Speeches are carefully placed into a wedding timeline so the day will stay on schedule, and an additional five minutes could cut into strategically timed moments of the celebration.

The to-be-weds also have the right to curate the day as they wish, and occasionally at a rehearsal dinner or welcome party, the couple may open the floor to additional toasts. But if this doesn’t happen, grabbing the mic unexpectedly for an off-the-cuff speech (especially after a few glasses of wine) will not be appreciated.

How to Write a Wedding Speech

How to Write a Perfect Wedding Speech

If you are asked to give a toast, it’s important that you don’t just wing it. “First, recognize that speechwriting is a creative process,” shares Allison Shapira, founder and CEO of Global Public Speaking . “Give yourself plenty of time to be creative (i.e. not the night before, when you already have so much to stress about). Wait for your most creative time of the day, and turn off any distractions. Spend some unrushed time thinking about your relationship to the couple, and what you’d like to say.”

While there’s no exact template to follow, there is a good basic formula to adhere to. “The framework I recommend for a wedding speech is: story, message, blessing,” she shares. “Tell a heartwarming story, share the message or value behind that story, and then offer a blessing or wish for the couple based on that message.”

“Typically, we advise our speakers to try to bring the audience on a journey where you initially try to make them laugh, then get to the real depth of the speech and earn some tears, then bring the whole speech full circle with a deep insight or story about the couple that ends with a funny final punch,” shares Steven Greitzer, CEO and founder of Provenance , an AI company that specializes in helping write personalized wedding vows, ceremonies, and toasts. “It’s important to have a good balance of humor and sentimentality because, if it’s a full roast, it can feel like you’re just doing a standup comedy show for your own benefit and it could lack substance. Or, if it’s too overly emotional, it can get heavy and perhaps a bit too somber for a wedding celebration.”

When choosing a story, Shapira recommends reading the room. “It should obviously be good-natured, without making anyone look bad. And, it all depends on the family dynamics,” she says. “What one family considers good-natured, another family could consider scathing. Choose someone in the audience whom you think could give you some helpful feedback, and practice the speech with them in advance.”

How to Write a Perfect Wedding Speech

By Alexandra Macon

Trousers for Petites That Don’t Need a Tailor? Inside My Quest to Find the Perfect Pairs

By Talia Abbas

Introducing Julez Smith

By Leah Faye Cooper

Greitzer adds that it's important that both members of the couple are highlighted in the speech. “Great anecdotes showcase who each person was before meeting, their synergy together, and their individual and collective growth,” he shares. If you don’t know one member of the couple very well, don’t be afraid to get creative. “One of the best speeches I’ve seen was from a bridesmaid who hadn’t really been able to spend too much time with her best friend’s fiance because of the pandemic,” Greitzer shares. “She creatively read texts she found in her phone that gave her a hilarious timeline of her friend falling in love.”

If you’re still not sure where to begin, consider giving an AI platform a try to help you form your toast. “The Provenance tools guide speakers to create unique, and personal ceremonies, vows, and toasts without the stress. It’s a partner in your brainstorming process; a way to help you verbalize what you were trying to say—but faster,” explains Greitzer. “Instead of being some outdated, mad-libs-style template, the expert-curated prompts inspire special stories and insights, ultimately weaving your responses together into a custom, editable first draft.”

A final writing tip from Shapira? “I definitely recommend creating an outline but do not recommend writing the speech out word for word. When we script the entire speech, it sounds too formal,” says the public speaking expert. “I recommend first brainstorming the content, rearranging it into a logical structure, then drafting a general outline which you can bring with you to the event. While it may look better to simply give the speech ‘from the heart,’ the stress involved in trying to memorize your speech is simply not worth it.”

How to Deliver a Wedding Speech

Writing a wedding speech is half the battle—next comes your performance. It’s important that your toast has a good flow, feels natural, and doesn’t drag on. Here’s where the idiom “practice makes perfect” rings true. Shapira advises giving yourself a few weeks of rehearsal to make your speech feel authentic and fluid. Her recommendations? “Read your speech out loud and make sure it stays within the time you have allotted. Read it to someone else and get their feedback. Record it and watch it back. We use a tool called AMPLIFY to get AI-based feedback.” She adds, “Don’t memorize the speech, but do read it out loud and make sure it sounds like your voice.”

The ideal length of a toast is between two to four minutes, which translates to around 500 to 1000 words on a page. Still, Greitzer notes, “The perfect length for the wedding toast complies with whatever length the couple wants it to be. Many guests don’t realize that long speeches can impact the whole evening’s timeline and affect the caterer, DJ, and so much more.”

This image may contain Human Person Electronics Phone Mobile Phone Cell Phone Dance Pose and Leisure Activities

While it’s now common to see toasts being read off a phone, both experts agree that it’s much better to print out your speech. “Reading off of a phone comes with the risk of distractions from notifications, a weird backlight that can affect the color of your face in photos, finicky technical difficulties, and having that annoying sound interference with the mic,” says Greitzer. (You also should make sure your speech is legible with a large font and wide spacing so you can easily find your place.)

The final hurdle of giving a wedding toast is getting over your nerves. “Find a quiet place right beforehand to center yourself (perhaps the bathroom or a corner of the room), pause and breathe, and remind yourself why you care about the couple,” recommends Shapira. She also adds—perhaps unsurprisingly—that it’s best to hold back on alcohol consumption ahead of the toast. “No one expects a perfect or professional speech; they want a unique, authentic message. The speech isn’t about you—it’s about the couple. Once you reframe the fact that the center of attention isn’t on you, you can relax.”

How to Write a Perfect Wedding Speech

More Great Living Stories From Vogue

The Best Places in the World for Solo Travel

Candice Bergen on What It Was Really Like to Attend Truman Capote’s Black and White Ball

Never miss a Vogue moment and get unlimited digital access for just $2 $1 per month.

The Curious Case of Kate Middleton’s “Disappearance”

Sofia Richie Grainge Is Pregnant! And It’s a….

Vogue Weddings

By signing up you agree to our User Agreement (including the class action waiver and arbitration provisions ), our Privacy Policy & Cookie Statement and to receive marketing and account-related emails from Vogue. You can unsubscribe at any time. This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.

Wedding Speeches: How to Write and Deliver a Memorable Toast

giving speeches at wedding

Wedding speeches are an important tradition that adds a personal touch to the wedding celebration. They allow loved ones to share their feelings and memories, express gratitude, and wish the newlyweds a lifetime of happiness. However, with the rising trend of online marriages due to the ongoing pandemic, wedding speeches have taken on a new form. Online marriages refer to weddings that take place virtually, with the couple and their guests participating from different locations through video conferencing platforms. 

In this post, we will discuss how to write and deliver a memorable toast, both for in-person and virtual weddings.

Who gives speeches at a wedding?

At a traditional wedding, certain people are expected to give speeches. These people include the father of the bride, the best man, and the maid of honor. 

Here is a breakdown of the traditional roles of speech givers at a wedding:

  • Father of the Bride: This speech is typically the first one given, and it sets the tone for the rest of the speeches. The father of the bride welcomes the guests, thanks them for coming, and talks about his daughter and his relationship with her. He will usually end the speech by toasting the newlyweds.
  • Groom: The groom will usually give a speech after the father of the bride. He thanks everyone for coming, talks about his bride and their relationship, and thanks her parents for their support. He will usually end the speech by toasting his bride.
  • Best Man: The best man is responsible for giving the final speech of the night. He will typically start by thanking the groom for choosing him as his best man. He will then share stories about the groom, including some embarrassing ones, and end by toasting the newlyweds.
  • Maid of Honor: The maid of honor will typically give a speech after the groom. She will thank the bride for choosing her as her maid of honor, share stories about the bride, and offer advice for a happy marriage. She will also usually end by toasting the newlyweds.

However, more modern variations have emerged over the years, and other people may give speeches at a wedding as well. These could include the mother of the bride, the bride herself, the groom's parents, or close friends of the couple. It's important to keep in mind the wishes of the couple and to ensure that all speeches are appropriate and in good taste.

Tips for Writing a great wedding speech

Here are some tips to help you write a great wedding speech:

  • Prepare and Practice: Don't wait until the last minute to start writing your speech. Give yourself plenty of time to prepare and practice. Write down your thoughts and ideas, and then organize them into a logical structure. Practice delivering your speech several times, either by yourself or in front of a trusted friend or family member.
  • Structure Your Speech: A great wedding speech typically follows a basic structure. Start with an attention-grabbing opening that will capture the audience's attention. Then, move on to the body of your speech, where you will share your thoughts, stories, and advice. Finally, end with a memorable conclusion and a toast to the newlyweds.
  • Keep it Positive: A wedding is a joyous occasion, so keep your speech positive and uplifting. Share stories that celebrate the love and happiness of the couple, and offer words of encouragement and support.
  • Use Humor Wisely: Humor can be a great way to connect with the audience and lighten the mood, but be careful not to go overboard. Avoid jokes that are inappropriate or offensive, and keep in mind that what may be funny to you may not be funny to everyone.
  • Share Personal Anecdotes: Personal anecdotes are a great way to personalize your speech and connect with the couple and the audience. Share stories that highlight the couple's strengths and unique qualities, and that demonstrate the love and support they have for each other.
  • Avoid Sensitive Topics: Avoid topics that may be sensitive or controversial, such as politics, religion, or past relationships. Stick to positive and uplifting messages that celebrate the love and happiness of the couple.

Tips for delivering a great wedding speech

Here are some tips to help you deliver a memorable speech with confidence:

  • Manage Your Nerves: It's normal to feel nervous before giving a speech, but there are techniques you can use to manage your nerves. Take some deep breaths, visualize a positive outcome, and remind yourself that the audience is there to support you.
  • Project Your Voice: Make sure you speak clearly and project your voice so that everyone in the audience can hear you. Take your time, speak at a moderate pace, and avoid rushing through your speech.
  • Maintain Eye Contact: Maintain eye contact with the audience to help build a connection with them. Look around the room and make eye contact with different people, but avoid staring at one person for too long.
  • Use Pauses: Using pauses can help you emphasize key points and give the audience time to digest what you're saying. Don't be afraid to take a moment to gather your thoughts and take a breath before continuing.
  • Vary Your Tone: Varying your tone can help you keep the audience engaged and prevent your speech from sounding monotonous. Use inflection to emphasize key points, and adjust your tone to match the mood of the moment.
  • Practice, Practice, Practice: The more you practice your speech, the more confident you'll feel on the day of the wedding. Practice in front of a mirror, record yourself or give your speech to a trusted friend or family member for feedback.

Examples of great wedding speeches

Here are some examples of great wedding speeches to inspire you:

  • Father of the Bride Speech: This father of the bride speech is both touching and humorous. He speaks from the heart and uses personal anecdotes to illustrate his love for his daughter and his joy at seeing her marry the man she loves.
  • Best Man Speech: This best man speech is funny, charming, and heartfelt. He tells stories about the groom that show both his good qualities and his quirks, and he ends with a touching message of support for the newlyweds.
  • Maid of Honor Speech: This maid of honor speech is both heartfelt and inspiring. She talks about the bride's strengths and qualities and offers a message of love and support to the happy couple.
  • Bride's Speech: This bride's speech is touching and emotional. She speaks about her love for her new husband and her gratitude for the support of her family and friends.

What makes these speeches effective is that they all have a clear structure, with an opening that captures the audience's attention, a body that tells personal stories or expresses heartfelt sentiments, and a conclusion that offers words of wisdom or congratulations to the happy couple.

For more inspiration, there are many online resources that offer examples of great wedding speeches, including Hitched , Wedding Forward , and LoveToKnow Weddings . 

Additionally, In the spirit of embracing new experiences, you may want to craft a heartfelt and personalized wedding speech by using Provenance , which has a number of modern online tools, including a Ceremony Builder, Vow Builder, and Toast Builder, as well as more in-depth services like professional speechwriting and public speaking services.

Wedding speeches are an important part of any wedding ceremony, as they provide an opportunity for loved ones to express their feelings and support for the happy couple. Whether you are the father of the bride, the maid of honor, or any other speech giver, there are certain tips and techniques you can use to write and deliver a great wedding speech that will be remembered for years to come.

Remember, a great wedding speech can have a profound impact on the newlyweds and their guests, and can create cherished memories that last a lifetime. So, if you have a wedding coming up, start preparing your speech early, and use the tips and resources we've discussed to create a memorable and meaningful tribute to the happy couple.

Common questions

What is the best time during the wedding for speeches?

Traditionally, speeches are given after the meal and before the cutting of the cake. This allows everyone to enjoy their food and drinks before the speeches begin and also ensures that the speeches do not run too late into the night. However, some couples may choose to have speeches earlier in the evening or during the reception, depending on their personal preference.

How long should a wedding speech be?

The length of a wedding speech can vary, but generally, it should be no longer than 5-7 minutes. This allows enough time to deliver a heartfelt message or share a few humorous anecdotes without losing the attention of the audience.

Is it okay to use humor in a wedding speech?

Yes, it is perfectly fine to use humor in a wedding speech, as long as it is appropriate and not at the expense of anyone present. However, it's important to balance humor with sincere sentiments, so that the speech doesn't become too light-hearted or frivolous.

What should I do if I forget my speech during delivery?

If you forget your speech during delivery, take a deep breath and try to remain calm. You can take a moment to gather your thoughts, look down at your notes (if you have them), or ask someone to prompt you with a question. If all else fails, you can simply speak from the heart and express your feelings in your own words.

How can I involve the audience in my speech?

One way to involve the audience in your speech is to ask them a question or invite them to participate in a brief activity. For example, you could ask them to raise their glasses for a toast or have them shout out a particular phrase or response at certain points in your speech.

How do I end a wedding speech?

A good way to end a wedding speech is to offer a message of congratulations or well wishes to the happy couple. You can also thank them for the opportunity to speak and express your gratitude to those who helped make the wedding day special. Finally, you can invite everyone to join you in raising a glass for a final toast to the newlyweds.

Online Marriage with Courtly

In recent years, online marriage has emerged as a popular alternative to traditional in-person weddings. Online marriage allows couples to legally tie the knot without the need for physical presence in a courthouse or a place of worship. One platform that has garnered a lot of attention for its online marriage services is Courtly. We offer customizable ceremonies, licensed officiants, and a virtual marriage license, making the entire process streamlined and efficient. 

Couples can choose from a range of ceremony options, including secular, religious, and interfaith ceremonies. Furthermore, we offer additional services such as wedding planning, premarital counseling, and online resources to help couples prepare for their big day.

One of the key benefits of online marriage with Courtly is convenience. Couples can get married from the comfort of their own home, without the need for travel or extensive planning. This can be particularly appealing for those who have busy schedules, are unable to travel, or simply prefer a more intimate ceremony. Additionally, the online marriage option may be more affordable than a traditional wedding, as it eliminates many of the expenses associated with a physical ceremony.

However, it is important to note that online marriage is not without its drawbacks. Some may argue that an online ceremony lacks the personal touch and emotional impact of a physical wedding. Some countries may not recognize online marriage as a legally valid option, which can be a barrier for couples looking to obtain legal recognition of their union. It is important to do thorough research and ensure that online marriage is a legally valid option in your location before making any decisions.

Let us handle the paperwork.

Getting married is complicated. Courtly simplifies the process and provides everything necessary to get married online, including providing a licensed officiant who can perform a remote ceremony.

Get married online.

Getting married is complicated. Courtly simplifies the process and provides everything necessary to get married online.

Pre-Wedding Jitters: Advice For Engaged Couples…From A Therapist

The complete checklist for changing your name after marriage in the us, ‍elope on a budget: tips for a beautiful wedding without breaking the bank, all about apostilles: who needs them and why, february 2024 nuptials: a guide to the best wedding dates, leap year wedding: tie the knot on a rare day in 2024, fur-real your beloved pet can be an official wedding witness in these us states, planning a spring wedding: themes, colors, and flower choices.

giving speeches at wedding

  • PRO Courses Guides New Tech Help Pro Expert Videos About wikiHow Pro Upgrade Sign In
  • EDIT Edit this Article
  • EXPLORE Tech Help Pro About Us Random Article Quizzes Request a New Article Community Dashboard This Or That Game Popular Categories Arts and Entertainment Artwork Books Movies Computers and Electronics Computers Phone Skills Technology Hacks Health Men's Health Mental Health Women's Health Relationships Dating Love Relationship Issues Hobbies and Crafts Crafts Drawing Games Education & Communication Communication Skills Personal Development Studying Personal Care and Style Fashion Hair Care Personal Hygiene Youth Personal Care School Stuff Dating All Categories Arts and Entertainment Finance and Business Home and Garden Relationship Quizzes Cars & Other Vehicles Food and Entertaining Personal Care and Style Sports and Fitness Computers and Electronics Health Pets and Animals Travel Education & Communication Hobbies and Crafts Philosophy and Religion Work World Family Life Holidays and Traditions Relationships Youth
  • Browse Articles
  • Learn Something New
  • Quizzes Hot
  • This Or That Game New
  • Train Your Brain
  • Explore More
  • Support wikiHow
  • About wikiHow
  • Log in / Sign up
  • Education and Communications
  • Communication Skills
  • Public Speaking

How to Write a Wedding Speech

Last Updated: March 19, 2024 Fact Checked

This article was co-authored by Jenny Yi . Jenny Yi is the Founder of Chloe+Mint, an award-winning full service event planning company that specializes in wedding planning, design and floral design. Jenny has been in the industry for over 5 years, and also works closely with notable brands and celebrities on branding and events. There are 7 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 602,711 times.

For most people, their wedding day will be among the most important days of their lives. As such, it is customary for a close friend or loved one to deliver a speech congratulating the newlyweds on their union. This can be a nerve-wracking prospect if you’re the one called upon to give a speech in front of a big, expectant crowd. As the speechwriter, it will pay off to make sure that you’re organized, keep it concise and practice extensively beforehand.

Things You Should Know

Professional wedding planner Jenny Yi says the wedding speech should be “impactful, short, and sweet.” Explain how you know the bride and groom, share a quick backstory on how they met, then wish them well as a couple.

Sample Speeches

giving speeches at wedding

Writing a Meaningful Speech

Step 1 Introduce yourself to the crowd.

  • The best man and maid of honor are usually each asked to make a short speech on behalf of the wedding party. After that, the microphone is sometimes turned over to whoever would like to say a few words.
  • Saying your name and briefly summarizing your history with the bride or groom will be enough. Don’t talk about yourself too much. Remember, the focus of your speech is the married couple.

Step 2 Open with a joke.

  • Use jokes judiciously to break the initial tension and keep the crowd relaxed. Try not to let your speech turn into a stand up comedy routine.
  • Keep your humorous stories and remarks appropriate. There will be people of all ages in your audience, including children.
  • Funny stories might include a funny story about the bride and groom's meeting, or an anecdote about one of them as a child.

Step 3 Share memories of the bride and groom.

  • Sharing unique memories or stories is much more effective than simply complimenting the bride or groom because it is a more personal touch.

Step 4 Offer advice or well-wishes for the future.

  • If you decide to use a quote for this segment of the speech, make sure it is short, relevant and not a cliche.

Step 5 Thank everyone in attendance.

  • Acknowledging the people who helped make the wedding festivities possible will make you appear humble, as well as making them feel appreciated.
  • Express your gratitude in a couple sentences. There’s no need to go on and on thanking every person individually by name.

Making Sure You're Prepared

Step 1 Write the speech well in advance.

  • Treat your speech like you would a school assignment. Compose several drafts, check it for errors and have a friend proofread it to make sure it sounds good.

Step 2 Know when you’re expect to deliver the speech.

  • Familiarize yourself with the order of presentation if multiple speeches are to be given.
  • Don’t spend the entire ceremony fretting over your speech. If you’re sufficiently prepared, you won’t need to give it a second thought until it’s time for you to deliver it.

Step 3 Practice, practice, practice.

  • Know your speech word for word, but try not to sound like you’re simply reciting it from memory. Pace yourself and give every passage emphasis, emotion and clarity.

Step 4 Bring your notes with you.

  • Put your entire speech on a couple note cards rather than a several large sheets of paper. Not only will this look better, it will help you keep your speech at the appropriate length.
  • Only look at your notes if you draw a blank or forget the next part. This will allow you to keep your eyes up and engage your audience. Even the most riveting speech will be a bore if the person giving it is reading off a note card the whole time.

Giving the Speech

Step 1 Maintain your composure.

  • Take a few slow, deep breaths. Think about what you’re saying and shut out all other distractions. Imagine that you’re giving your speech to one person instead of a room full of people.
  • Have a drink or two if it helps your nerves. Just don’t have too many—you want to be focused and clear-headed when it’s time for you to take the floor.

Step 2 Keep it short and sweet.

  • It’s perfectly okay to give a short speech. Simply say a few kind words, raise a toast and hand back the microphone.
  • Speak slowly and deliberately. It’s easy to start chattering too fast when you’re nervous. By talking slower than you feel like you need to, you’ll probably be going at just the right speed.
  • People who are underprepared or extremely anxious tend to talk aimlessly. Avoid this by sticking to what you’ve written and look to the crowd for cues about when their attention is evaporating.

Step 3 Be sincere.

  • Take a moment to speak to the bride and/or groom directly.
  • It’s normal to get a little choked up! As long as you can finish your speech, there’s no need to worry. It may even be flattering, as it will show the people you’re talking about how much you truly care.

Step 4 Finish with a toast.

  • It’s customary for the best man or groomsmen to toast the bride, and the maid of honor to toast the groom.

Expert Q&A

Jenny Yi

  • Keep quotes to a minimum, as other people's words can distract from what you're trying to say yourself. Thanks Helpful 2 Not Helpful 1
  • If you're stumped on how your speech should flow, approach it the way you would a story: give it a beginning, middle and end. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 1
  • Ask an honest, objective friend to give you feedback on your speech after you've finished writing it. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0

giving speeches at wedding

  • Never use a premade template you find on the internet to write a wedding speech. Your speech should be a product of your own unique thoughts, feelings and experiences. Thanks Helpful 6 Not Helpful 1
  • Don't drink too much before delivering your speech. Thanks Helpful 5 Not Helpful 1
  • Leave out especially embarrassing or offensive anecdotes. These are usually considered bad form. You're supposed to be honoring the married couple, not getting a laugh at their expense. Thanks Helpful 6 Not Helpful 3

You Might Also Like

Write a Speech Introducing Yourself

  • ↑ http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2110745/Lost-words-Top-tips-write-winning-wedding-speech-deliver-like-pro.html
  • ↑ https://www.theknot.com/content/wedding-toasting-tips-for-the-maid-of-honor
  • ↑ https://www.presentationmagazine.com/the-structure-and-etiquette-of-wedding-speeches-1041.htm
  • ↑ http://www.artofmanliness.com/2008/07/22/how-to-write-deliver-good-best-man-speech/
  • ↑ https://www.theknot.com/content/wedding-toasting-tips-for-the-maid-of-honor/
  • ↑ https://finley-h.schools.nsw.gov.au/content/dam/doe/sws/schools/f/finley-h/localcontent/how_to_write_a_speech.pdf
  • ↑ https://mediacenter.toastmasters.org/2014-07-01-10-Tips-for-the-Perfect-Wedding-Toast

About This Article

Jenny Yi

To write a wedding speech, start by introducing yourself and explaining how you know the bride and groom. Then, share some fond memories, like stories from when you were kids or how you met. Next, offer well-wishes to the bride and groom, such as wishing them health, happiness, and prosperity. Alternatively, try opening with a joke or funny anecdote, but make sure that your remarks are appropriate for everyone in attendance. Finally, briefly thank everyone for coming and for making the celebration possible. For tips on how to memorize your speech so that it doesn’t sound rehearsed, read on! Did this summary help you? Yes No

  • Send fan mail to authors

Reader Success Stories

Brianna Carl

Brianna Carl

Feb 1, 2017

Did this article help you?

Brianna Carl

Sep 16, 2016

Mady Schlosser

Mady Schlosser

Jun 22, 2017

Lindsay Hilman

Lindsay Hilman

Jun 10, 2017

Abz Kagwa

Oct 28, 2016

Am I a Narcissist or an Empath Quiz

Featured Articles

Relive the 1970s (for Kids)

Trending Articles

How to Celebrate Passover: Rules, Rituals, Foods, & More

Watch Articles

Fold Boxer Briefs

  • Terms of Use
  • Privacy Policy
  • Do Not Sell or Share My Info
  • Not Selling Info

wikiHow Tech Help Pro:

Develop the tech skills you need for work and life

90 years of expert advice and inspiration, for every couple.

  • Engagement Rings
  • Wedding Bands
  • Celebrity Weddings & News
  • Wedding Planning
  • Destination Wedding
  • Invitations & Stationery
  • Wedding Décor
  • Flowers & Bouquets
  • Food & Drink
  • Wedding Cakes
  • Photography
  • Wedding Dresses
  • Bridesmaid Dresses
  • Makeup & Hair
  • Accessories
  • Groom Style
  • Wedding Party Attire
  • Wedding Guest Attire
  • Bridal Fashion Week
  • Skincare & Wellness
  • Engagement Party
  • Bridal Shower
  • Bachelorette Party
  • Rehearsal Dinner
  • Registry Tips
  • Anniversary Gifts
  • Wedding Favors
  • Friends & Family
  • Marriage Proposal Ideas
  • Married Life
  • Love & Dating
  • The Brides Team
  • Editorial Guidelines
  • Editorial Policy
  • Terms of Use and Policies
  • Privacy Policy
  • Wedding Ideas & Advice
  • Wedding Reception Ideas

When Should Speeches Take Place During the Wedding Reception?

Great wedding toasts are all about timing.

Jaimie Mackey was the real weddings editor at Brides from 2013 to 2015. She also worked as a luxury wedding planner and produced over 100 high-end weddings and events in Colorado

giving speeches at wedding

Photo by Hugo Coelho Photography

In This Article

Love them or hate them, speeches are a key part of a wedding reception. Those toasts (not roasts—save those for the bachelor party or rehearsal dinner ) give guests an insight into who the couple is, as well as their relationship. What's more, speeches are a chance for the hosts and the happy couple to speak to their guests and thank everyone for attending. But what’s the best way to arrange these speeches? Is there usually a specific time that the toasts happen during the reception? When does the best man give his speech ? If you're asking these questions, you're not alone.

Great wedding toasts are all about timing, since the length of a speech and when they take place can have an effect on the overall celebration. For instance, you don’t want to disrupt the flow of the reception, but you also don’t want to place the speeches at the end of the evening, giving your best man or maid of honor a chance to drink a little too much champagne (yikes!).

With all this in mind, and since the timing of toasts is so important, we thought it might be valuable to put together a brief guide to help you find the best moments to schedule your wedding speeches . Read on to learn more.

When Does the Maid of Honor Give Her Speech?

Before diving into any timeline suggestions, it's important to first understand when the two main speeches are commonly supposed to happen: the maid of honor and the best man speech. As tradition dictates, the maid of honor usually gives her speech right after the parents of the bride (who typically speak after the parents of the groom). Of course, couples may choose to switch up this order depending on their personal preferences, but the maid of honor is usually second to last in the lineup of toasts. And while the maid of honor's speech doesn't get as much attention as the best man's speech, it's still a sweet moment at the reception and a period of time the bride will remember forever.

When Does the Best Man Give His Speech?

Once the maid of honor has spoken, the best man is traditionally next, and last, in the lineup of reception speeches. His toast is usually the one that's most anticipated as well (thanks to the depiction of fictional best-man speeches in pop culture), and is the speech that is meant to kick off the party. A best man's toast should be celebratory and encouraging, with a few appropriate jokes that emphasize the love the couple has for each other.

The Best Moments for Wedding Speeches

As noted above, a traditional lineup of speeches is generally as follows: the parents of the bride, the parents of the groom, the maid of honor, and the best man. But now that you understand the typical lineup, you may be stuck on when to actually schedule your loved ones to speak during your reception's run of show . If that's the case, keep reading below for a few speech timeline options to consider, based on your preferred wedding style.

Schedule Speeches First Thing

Getting these formalities out of the way is great for two reasons. First, your parents, maid of honor, and best man can enjoy the rest of the evening stress-free, and these speeches can also serve as a way to set the tone for the rest of the night. So if you want to kick the reception off with toasts, schedule them to happen as soon as everyone sits down. Make your grand entrance , take your seats, and then ask the first person to take the mic. You can have the toasts all happen back to back or even take a little in-between so your caterer can serve the first course, then pick up the mic again after the salad plates are down.

Give Speeches Once Entrées Are Served

Another great option (that still has those toasts happening early in the evening) is to hold off until guests are served their main course. This part of the meal is the longest, so it allows for a little more time for talking without interruptions from the waitstaff .

Make sure your caterer serves your VIP tables first, so anyone giving a toast can enjoy their meal while it’s hot. Then, as other tables are being served, or while guests are enjoying their meal, those giving speeches can get up and make their toast with a captive audience.

Kick Off Dancing With Toasts

The third option is to have toasts at the tail end of the meal, giving your speechmakers plenty of time to enjoy the reception once they’re done. You can either have them get up to speak at the end of dinner or invite them to take the stage when it’s time to dance. Schedule the toasts, and then head straight into the cake cutting . Finish off with your first dance and parent dances, and then open up the dance floor to celebrate!

Utilize Cocktail Hour

If you’re planning something a bit more casual than a seated dinner, the best time to capture the audience’s attention may be when guests have that signature cocktail in their hands. Allow guests to arrive and get a drink at the bar and a plate of hors d'oeuvres , then grab their attention. This option will allow for the speeches to be delivered early on, and once the toast happens, everyone will be able to mingle and relax for the rest of the night.

Related Stories

Public Speaking Experts Share Their Top Tips for Giving an Amazing Wedding Speech

Everything to Know About Your Groom Speech: Tips, Advice, and Examples

How to Write the Perfect Best Man Speech

Everything You Need to Know About Wedding Champagne Toasts

The Most Memorable TV and Movie Best Man Wedding Speeches of All Time

How to Play the Wedding Shoe Game—and 50 Questions to Ask

How to Write a Maid of Honor Speech

A Complete Guide to Maid of Honor Wedding Duties

The Best Timeline for Your Wedding Day

Who Sits at the Head Table at a Wedding Reception?

The Complete Guide to Planning a Wedding

The Ultimate Wedding Reception Timeline

Best Man Wedding Duties: The Ultimate Checklist

The Complete Wedding Photography Checklist: Every Photo to Add to Your Shot List

How to Write an Unforgettable Newlywed Reception Toast

12 Common Mistakes Maids of Honor Make

Order of Speeches at Weddings and Who Speaks

by Ryan Hart | Updated on September 22, 2023 | Post may contain affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.

Are you getting ready for your big day and wondering about the order of speeches at weddings? Don’t worry, you’re not alone!

The traditional wedding speech order has been around for centuries, but it can still be confusing to know who speaks when. In this article, we’ll break down the order of speeches and give you tips on how to make your wedding speeches memorable.

The reception speeches are a chance for your loved ones to share their love and support for you and your partner. It’s a time to reflect on the past, celebrate the present, and look forward to the future.

Whether you’re giving a speech or listening to others, it’s important to make the most of this special moment. So, let’s dive into the traditional order of speeches and how you can make your wedding speeches unforgettable.

Person giving a wedding speech

Wedding Speech Order

At a wedding, speeches are an important part of the celebration. They give the chance for loved ones to express their feelings and share memorable moments with the newlyweds. However, the order of speeches can be tricky, especially if you are not familiar with the traditional structure.

In this section, we will break down the order of speeches, so you can feel confident and prepared when it comes to your big day.

Traditional Order

Traditionally, the order of speeches at a wedding reception follows a specific structure:

  • Father of the Bride

Maid of Honor

The first speech is given by the father of the bride, or parents of the bride. This speech usually welcomes guests and thanks them for coming. The father of the bride will also express his love and pride for his daughter, and welcome his new son-in-law into the family.

The maid of honor is then given the floor to share some sweet memories and offer her support to the newlyweds.

Finally, the best man takes the stage to give a speech that is usually filled with funny stories and anecdotes about the groom. He also usually offers a toast to the newlyweds .

Modern Variations

While the traditional order of speeches is still widely followed, there are some modern variations that couples may choose to incorporate. For example, the bride may choose to give a speech, or the groom’s parents may give a speech as well.

It is also common to hear speeches from siblings, bridesmaids, or other family members and friends.

Couples may also choose to switch up the order of speeches or have multiple people speak at the same time. It’s important to remember that the structure of speeches should reflect the couple’s preferences and personalities.

Order for Same-Sex Couples

For same-sex couples, the order of speeches can be adjusted to fit their needs. While there is no set order for speeches, it’s common for one partner’s parents to speak first, followed by the other partner’s parents.

After that, the couple themselves may choose to give a speech, followed by their friends or family members.

The key is to make sure that everyone who wants to speak has the opportunity to do so and that the speeches are filled with love and support for the newlyweds. It’s important to remember that every wedding is unique and that the order of speeches can be tailored to fit the couple’s preferences and needs.

Who Gives Speeches at a Wedding?

At a wedding, there are several folks who typically step up to the microphone to give speeches and share their heartfelt thoughts. Here’s a rundown of who you can expect to see giving speeches at a wedding:

Bride and Groom

The bride and groom have several options for when and how they can give their speeches at their wedding. Here are some potential options:

Rehearsal Dinner: The night before the wedding, during the rehearsal dinner , the bride and groom can give a speech to express their gratitude to everyone for being a part of their celebration. This is often a more intimate setting and allows for a more personal and heartfelt speech.

Before the Reception Dinner: Some couples choose to give their speeches just before the formal reception dinner begins. This can be a great way to kick off the evening and set the tone for the celebration. It also ensures that everyone is seated and attentive.

After Dinner with the Other Speeches: The bride and groom can opt to give their speeches as part of the lineup of speeches and toasts during the reception. They may follow the speeches by the Maid of Honor, Best Man, parents, or other close friends and family members. This is a common choice and allows the couple to share their thoughts and gratitude in the midst of the celebration.

During Cake Cutting: Some couples opt to give speeches right before or after the cake cutting ceremony. It adds a special moment to the festivities and often garners the attention of all the guests as they gather around to watch the cake cutting.

Ultimately, the timing and format of the bride and groom speeches depend on their preferences and the flow of their wedding day. They should choose the option that feels most comfortable and meaningful to them, as well as one that fits well with the overall schedule of events. The important thing is to express their love, gratitude, and excitement for their new journey together.

Mother or Father of the Bride

As the mother or father of the bride, you have a special role to play in the wedding reception. Traditionally, you are the first speaker to give a toast, and your speech is often one of the most sentimental and emotional speeches of the evening.

During your speech, you will typically welcome guests and thank them for coming to celebrate this special day with your family. You may also share some memories of your daughter growing up and express your love and pride for her on her wedding day.

It’s important to remember that your speech should be heartfelt and genuine, and not overly rehearsed or formal. Speak from the heart, and let your emotions show as you share your thoughts and feelings with your daughter and her new spouse.

Mother or Father of the Groom

The mother or father of the groom typically gives their speech at the rehearsal dinner, which is usually held the night before the wedding.

The rehearsal dinner is a more intimate gathering, where the wedding party and close family members come together to practice the ceremony and enjoy a meal. This is a great opportunity for the parents of the groom to express their love and support for their son and his future spouse.

The mother or father of the groom may share some stories about their son, offer some words of wisdom, and express their excitement for the upcoming wedding day. Overall, the speech is a way for the parents of the groom to show their love and support for the happy couple.

The best man usually gives his speech after the maid of honor and before any other speeches at a wedding. The best man’s speech is typically filled with funny stories and anecdotes about the groom, but it should also be heartfelt and express his support for the newlyweds.

Ultimately, the best man’s speech should be a reflection of his relationship with the groom and his wishes for the couple’s future together.

When preparing your best man speech, it’s important to strike a balance between humor and sincerity. You want to make the guests laugh, but you also want to express your genuine affection for the groom and your happiness for the couple.

Remember to keep it appropriate for all ages and avoid any inside jokes that only a select few will understand.

In the traditional order of wedding speeches, the maid of honor typically gives her speech after the father of the groom and before the best man. Her speech is all about the bride and her relationship with the groom.

During her speech, the maid of honor may share some funny stories or sweet memories about the couple, but her speech should also be heartfelt and show how much she supports the newlyweds.

She may also thank the bride’s family for welcoming the groom into their lives and express her gratitude for being a part of the wedding celebration.

Grandparents

Grandparents are an important part of any family, and they may be given the opportunity to give a speech at a wedding.

In many cases, grandparents will give their speech during the reception, after the main speeches have been given. Grandparents may offer some words of wisdom, share some stories about the couple, or express their love and support for the newlyweds.

While grandparents are not typically included in the traditional order of wedding speeches, they are still an important part of the celebration. If you would like to include your grandparents in your wedding speeches, be sure to talk to them ahead of time and give them an idea of what you would like them to say.

Well, it’s not set in stone, but there are a few common times when siblings might get up to say a few words at a wedding.

Maid of Honor or Best Man Speech: If your sibling is the Maid of Honor or Best Man, they usually get a chance to give a speech during the reception. They’ll share funny stories, heartfelt moments, and wish the newlyweds all the best. It’s a big honor!

As a Surprise: Sometimes, siblings plan a surprise speech. They might talk to the bride and groom beforehand and get a secret spot in the schedule. This can be a super touching moment because it’s unexpected.

During Open Mic Time: At some weddings, there’s an open mic time where guests can come up and share their well wishes. Siblings can use this opportunity to say a few words if they want.

At the Rehearsal Dinner: If there’s a rehearsal dinner before the wedding, siblings might give a speech there. It’s a more intimate setting, so it can be a great chance to express your love and support.

Toast with Everyone : Sometimes, there’s a big toast where everyone raises their glasses to the newlyweds. Siblings can definitely participate in this and say a few words if they’d like.

Remember, it’s not a must for siblings to give a speech at a wedding, but if you want to, just make sure to coordinate with the couple or the wedding planner so you know when and where to do it.

Best Friends

If you’re the Maid of Honor (for the bride) or the Best Man (for the groom), you’re almost guaranteed to give a speech. It’s like your time to shine! You’ll get to stand up in front of everyone, share funny stories, and say some super sweet stuff about your friend.

But even if you’re not in those roles, there are still opportunities. Sometimes, during the wedding reception, there’s an open mic period where friends and family can give speeches. That’s your chance to grab the microphone and say some heartfelt words about your bestie and the happy couple.

Oh, and don’t forget the rehearsal dinner! It’s usually the night before the wedding, and it’s a cozy, smaller gathering. You might be asked to speak there, kind of like a warm-up for the big day.

Other Speakers

Aside from the traditional speakers, you may choose to involve other speakers in your wedding speeches. These could be close friends or family members who have a special connection to you and your partner. Including other speakers can add a personal touch to your wedding and make it more memorable for everyone involved.

Before choosing additional speakers, consider the size of your wedding and the amount of time you have allotted for speeches. It’s important to keep in mind that the more speakers you have, the longer the speeches will be. You don’t want your guests to get bored or restless during the speeches.

If you do decide to include other speakers, make sure they are comfortable with public speaking and have enough time to prepare their speech. You can also provide them with some guidelines or suggestions to help them craft a meaningful and appropriate speech.

It’s also a good idea to let your other speakers know the order of speeches and when they will be speaking. This will help them prepare and ensure that the speeches flow smoothly. You can also consider having a designated MC or host to introduce the speakers and keep the speeches on track.

Remember to keep your audience in mind when choosing additional speakers. You want to make sure that the speeches are engaging and relevant to everyone in attendance. With a little planning and consideration, including other speakers can make your wedding speeches even more special and memorable.

Master of Ceremonies

The Master of Ceremonies (MC) is a crucial part of any wedding reception. Their primary role is to ensure the smooth flow of events throughout the day. They act as a host and guide, making announcements and introducing speakers as the day progresses.

The MC is responsible for keeping the guests informed about what is happening and when. They work closely with the wedding planner to ensure that the wedding timeline is followed, and all the activities are executed as planned. They are the ones who inform the guests when it’s time for speeches, games, and traditions.

During the wedding reception, the MC will introduce the newlyweds and announce the start of the meal. They will also announce when it’s time for speeches, and introduce the speakers in the correct order. They will ensure that the speeches are kept to the allotted time and that everyone who wants to speak gets a chance.

At the rehearsal dinner, the MC will go over the plan for the wedding day and ensure that everyone knows their role. They will also go over the order of speeches and ensure that everyone is comfortable with their position.

Overall, the MC is a crucial part of any wedding reception. They keep the day running smoothly and ensure that everyone is informed about what is happening. If you are planning a wedding, be sure to choose an experienced MC who can handle the responsibility and guide you through the day with ease.

Joint Speeches

If you and your partner want to give a joint speech at your wedding, it’s a great way to share your love story with your guests. Joint speeches are becoming more popular, and for good reason. They allow both the bride and groom to express their feelings and share their thoughts with their loved ones.

When giving a joint speech, there are a few things to keep in mind. First, make sure you both agree on what you want to say. You don’t want to surprise each other with your words on the big day. Take some time to plan your speech together and make sure you’re both comfortable with what you’ll be saying.

Second, decide who will say what. You can split the speech up evenly, or have one person start and the other finish. Whatever you decide, make sure it flows well and tells your love story in a way that’s meaningful to both of you.

Finally, practice your speech together. This will help you feel more comfortable and confident when it’s time to give the speech. You can even practice in front of friends or family members to get feedback and make any necessary changes.

Remember, your joint speech should be a reflection of your love for each other and your excitement for your future together as newlyweds. Keep it heartfelt, sincere, and true to yourselves.

Rehearsal Dinner Speeches

The rehearsal is a crucial part of the wedding planning process, as it allows everyone involved in the wedding to practice and prepare for the big day. This includes the wedding party, family members, and anyone else who will have a role in the ceremony or reception.

Typically, the rehearsal takes place the day before the wedding, and it is usually followed by a rehearsal dinner. During the rehearsal, you will go through the ceremony from start to finish, so that everyone knows

The rehearsal dinner is a chance for everyone to relax and enjoy each other’s company before the big day. It is usually held at a restaurant or other venue, and it is a more casual affair than the wedding reception. During the rehearsal dinner, you can give speeches, toast the happy couple, and share stories and memories with your loved ones.

Final Thoughts

Congratulations on your big day! The order of speeches at weddings is an important tradition that can make your wedding reception even more special. By following the traditional order of speeches, you can ensure that everyone who wants to speak gets a chance, and that your guests are entertained and moved by the speeches.

As you plan your wedding, be sure to consider your own preferences and those of your partner. You may want to deviate from the traditional order of speeches, or you may want to add your own unique touches to the speeches. Whatever you decide, make sure that your speeches are heartfelt, sincere, and memorable.

If you are looking for more wedding ideas and inspiration , be sure to check out the ultimate guide to writing wedding speeches and toasts . This guide provides tips and advice on how to write and deliver a great wedding speech, as well as sample speeches and toasts to help you get started.

Remember, the order of speeches at weddings is just one of many traditions that make weddings so special. Whether you choose to follow tradition or put your own unique spin on things, your wedding day is sure to be a day that you and your guests will remember for years to come .

Ryan Hart

Ryan Hart is a certified relationship coach and writer. His mission is to help make connections between people better, stronger, more meaningful, and longer lasting using technology.

Want to connect with Ryan? Click here to get his FREE daily dating advice newsletter

This newsletter is not just good - it delivers the best relationship advice to your inbox every morning Join thousands of subscribers discovering how to stop chasing emotionally unavailable people and start attracting true love.

Don't miss the chance to add your name to the list before the next edition goes live. If you want to take advantage of this opportunity, simply click the below to access our secure sign-up page.

want to meet someone great this year?

Father of the Bride Speech Examples and Templates

Looking for inspiration for your father of the bride speech? Check out our collection of examples and ideas to help you craft a memorable and heartfelt speech that will make your daughter proud.

The best relationship advice — in your inbox — every morning.

Here's Who Gives Speeches at the Wedding vs. at the Rehearsal Dinner

Couple raising toasts after wedding reception speeches.

  • Jessica contributes wedding planning, wedding etiquette and relationship content to The Knot.
  • She also covers lifestyle and wellness topics for print and digital publications such Refinery29, Bustle, Well + Good, Cosmopolitan, Byrdie, The Zoe Report, The Cut and more.
  • Jessica has a journalism degree from Cal State University, Northridge and is certified as a life and success coach.

As far as wedding traditions go, wedding speeches are definitely at the top of the list of most memorable moments of the wedding day. The people you love and know you best taking the mic and toasting you and your new spouse and your future together —there's nothing sweeter. Traditionally, there are a few key people that deliver speeches at weddings . However, every couple's situation and family dynamics are different and deciding who will deliver a speech at your wedding is totally up to you.

That said, in case you need some inspiration as to who gives speeches at weddings according to tradition and the best times to give them , below, Melisa Imberman of The Event Of A Lifetime, Inc. , a full-service event and wedding planning company in New York City, gives us the scoop.

Who Gives Speeches at Weddings?

Traditionally, wedding speeches were reserved for the father of the bride and the best man, but couples these days like to shake things up and include other important guests as well. Although there may be many people who want to wish the newlyweds well and say a few words, time is of the essence during a wedding reception. You don't want the wedding speeches to drag on or cut into the dinner and dancing portion of the celebration. To keep things concise and stick to your wedding timeline, Imberman recommends limiting speeches to just the VIPs, which includes the best man speech, the maid of honor speech, and the parent speeches. And, as a bonus, some couples also opt to give a bride's speech and/or a groom's speech, but that's up to you. Read on for details answering the question once and for all: Who gives speeches at weddings?

The Best Man Speech

Along with planning an epic bachelor party, one of the best man's wedding duties is delivering a best man's speech at the wedding reception. In his speech, the best man will typically introduce himself and his relationship to the groom, congratulate the couple, share an anecdote or funny story about the groom and end with a toast and best wishes.

The Maid of Honor Speech

The maid of honor speech also gives a speech at the wedding reception. The speech will usually follow an outline similar to the best man speech but with an emphasis on the bride and her journey to this milestone. The tone for both the best man speech and the maid of honor speech is typically heartwarming, encouraging, and lighthearted as they are typically the people that know the bride and groom the best.

Find all the vendors you need

The mother and/or father of the bride speech.

The father of the bride speech is one of the most anticipated speeches of the evening and likely the one that will have you reaching for the tissues. The mother of the bride can also deliver a speech. In their speeches, the bride's parents may share a heartfelt anecdote of the bride, mention their new son or daughter-in-law, and perhaps offer some words of wisdom for the couple.

The Mother and/or Father of the Groom Speech

According to tradition, the mother and father of the groom give a speech during the rehearsal dinner. This is because traditionally the groom's parents hosted the rehearsal dinner while the bride's parents hosting the wedding. Splitting the budget that way may or may not be the case for many couples, that's why Imberman recommends having both sets of parents speak during the wedding reception. The groom's parents' speeches can follow a similar format as the mother and father of the bride speeches.

Wedding planning spreadsheet on a laptop and mobile device.

Bride and/or Groom Speech

The bride and groom too can take the mic and give a speech. As the bride or groom, you can keep your speech short and just thank everyone for being there to celebrate your special day or deliver a full speech complete with a sweet story. Whatever you decide, Imberman's advice is to keep wedding speeches brief and speak from the heart. And feel free to get creative as well, some couples opt to deliver their speeches individually or give it together taking turns saying a few words.

Who Gives a Speech at the Rehearsal Dinner?

The rehearsal dinner's host(s) , whether that be the groom's parents, bride's parents, or someone else, will usually speak first during the rehearsal dinner. Once they've welcomed everyone and said a few words, the floor is open for others to speak.

Since you don't want the wedding speeches to be super long during the wedding reception, Imberman says the rehearsal dinner is a great opportunity for bridesmaids, groomsmen, or other friends and family members to give a speech.

Rehearsal dinner toasts tend to be less formal since it's a more intimate group, so speeches can either be prepared ahead of time or spontaneous. Pro tip: For speeches that are planned in advance, it's helpful to share time limits, timeline and guidelines with the speakers.

Who Gives Speeches at Other Wedding Events?

The engagement party.

The engagement party is one of the first wedding-related events that take place just after your significant other pops the question and is an opportunity to celebrate the great news with friends and family. Speeches at an engagement party are not absolutely necessary, but it is nice for someone to say a few words. According to tradition, whoever hosts the event will say a few words congratulating the happy couple, whether that be the bride's parents, the groom's parents, or the couple themselves.

The Bridal or Wedding Shower

Toasts or speeches are not usually given during a bridal or wedding shower, Imberman says, however it is nice for the host to welcome guests and wish the couple well. Traditionally, the maid of honor, wedding party, a friend, or in-laws host the wedding shower.

The Bach Party

According to Imberman, speeches are not required for a bachelorette or bachelor party, but it's definitely not uncommon. If someone does want to say a few words, whether it's the maid of honor, best man, a close friend, or another wedding party member, this is the opportunity to keep the speeches fun and light. For instance, the speech giver can save the heartwarming speech with sweet stories for the wedding reception and share a funny story or inside jokes that attendees would all get for the bach party.

The Post-Wedding Brunch

You're officially a married couple. Congrats! The post-wedding brunch ties up the wedding celebration with a bow and provides an opportunity for one last round of speeches. By this point, everyone will be all partied out, so it's a great idea to keep the speeches during the brunch very brief. As with all other wedding events, Imberman says, the host can say a few words, thank everyone for coming and clink glasses one last time. The newlyweds can also say a few words too to express their appreciation for all the love and celebration.

outdoor rehearsal dinner venue

  • Bridal Shower
  • Bachelor & Bachelorette Parties
  • Engagement Party
  • Rehearsal Dinner
  • Wedding Checklists
  • Wedding Hairstyle Ideas
  • Wedding Vows Readings
  • Wedding Music

In This Article

Who Usually Gives Speeches At A Wedding

Welcome toast: who traditionally gives speeches at a wedding, who can toast at a wedding, newlyweds thank you speeches: inspirational tips, who gives speeches at wedding rehearsal dinner, who should not speak at a wedding.

  • Wedding Party & Reception

Tips & Ideas On Who Gives Speeches At A Wedding

Natalia Bayeva

sirpillasoirees via Instagram

Wedding speeches are a timeless tradition that remains relevant forever. You have people to celebrate with you and they must say nice things and give their best wishes. But for the sake of organization, it’s good to find out who gives speeches at a wedding.

ADVERTISEMENT

Everyone can’t possibly come to the microphone. And that’s where we come in with ideas, tips, and examples of who says what, what they say, and who should never get the microphone. Follow this topic and arm yourself with relevant information.

Quick Navigation

Frequently Asked Questions

Should all guests give speeches at weddings.

No, all guests cannot possibly give speeches because it will be a long, unending day. Keep the speeches among family and the wedding party.

Do bridesmaids give speeches?

Yes, bridesmaids give speeches, even though it is not mandatory. However, the speeches are very short, lasting four minutes at most.

who gives speeches at a wedding the groom gives a speech for the guests

thecurries.co_

As parents, share sweet memories of your child getting married, welcome your new in-law and share some anecdotes about the couple. Finish with good wishes and some words of wisdom.

Maid of honor

The maid of honor focuses on the bride with a heartfelt yet lighthearted and hopeful speech. She should also include the groom, especially if she is friends with him.

The best man is arguably the closest to the groom, so his job is to earnestly congratulate the groom and his new spouse. Also, he will tell funny and maybe decently embarrassing stories about the groom, then end with a toast.

Other guests

Restrict this part to only the most important people in our lives, keep it short and make it mainly nest wishes.

Speak from your heart, thank everyone for coming, say something nice about your new spouse, tell a sweet story and make a toast.

To be on the safe side, give your speeches after dinner because it could take quite a while. Also, the bride’s father goes first, followed by the best man, maid of honor, and then the groom. Keep each speech at three to five minutes maximum.

who gives speeches at a wedding guests sit at the table and laugh

mollycarrphotography

The person who traditionally gives speeches at a wedding is the host. The main idea of welcome toasts is to thank everyone for coming to celebrate with you while sharing your wishes on a glass of wine. The toasts could be upbeat, funny one-liners, or solemn. So to pull off the perfect toast, see some tips below.

  • Pick up the microphone immediately everyone settles in the reception. This will capture the guest’s attention.
  • Start by introducing yourself and state your relationship with the couple. Welcome the guests and thank them for coming to celebrate with the couple.
  • Talk about the beautiful ambiance. Ask them to relax and enjoy themselves.
  • Make a toast to them, wishing fun, happiness, and everything good.
  • Make one or two jokes and keep it brief.

who gives speeches at a wedding the bride and groom pour champagne into glasses

lichttrunken

The fathers of the couple would toast at the wedding followed by the maid of honor, the best man, and the couple. This toast is usually shared towards the end of the wedding when the guests are in a very celebratory mood. Here are some tips you can use to get the toasts started.

  • Notify your speakers on time Tel the speakers you have chosen about their duties on time. It is always best to include it in the wedding invite so that they can organize their thoughts and prepare.
  • Organize your speakers in succession Curate the order of speakers and let them know who goes first and who follows. This move will help the speakers know when their time is close.
  • Work with a time limit Intimate the guests on the time cap you set per speech so that the guests wouldn’t be bored. It will also help the speakers shave their speeches to fit.
  • Give your speakers a guideline Have a general guideline set up for the speakers so that they work within the confines. You wouldn’t run the risk of someone sharing dark humor, speaking about the exes, or private jokes.

who gives speeches at a wedding the groom kisses the bride in the field

pasion_eventos

It is the couple who gives wedding speeches at the reception, saying some thoughtful words to the guests. For what to say,

  • Start by introducing yourself and thank them for attending your big day.
  • Express how excited their presence makes you feel and how much their support means.
  • Reference specific people who are pivotal to the success of your big day. They could be your parents, best man, maid of honor, and special guests.
  • Make a wish for the guests and close with a toast.

When giving the speech, one person can present on behalf of two of you. However, if you choose to speak together, work as a team by alternating between paragraphs. Decide on who would make the toast on behalf of the couple.

who gives speeches at a wedding the bride speaks a toast

Rehearsal dinners are more relaxed than the actual wedding, so the floor is more open for speech. The person who gives speeches at the wedding rehearsal dinner is the host first, followed by everyone else, like the best man, groomsmen, maid of honor, bridesmaids, friends, and family.

Rehearsal dinners may be hosted by the bride or groom’s parents. In some cases, the couple pays for it. The overall speech time could take almost thirty minutes depending on how many volunteers. So keep each speech at a maximum of three minutes. Follow these tips for a winning speech.

  • Personalize the speech by speaking from the heart after introducing yourself
  • Say a personal experience or your favorite memory of the couple
  • You can be spontaneous but we advise you to be prepared
  • Finish with a funny line and a toast

There are people you should never allow to speak at your wedding for varying reasons. If you have an estranged parent, prevent them from making a speech at your wedding as it isn’t the place for reconciliations.

You may also have aunts who are vulgar or those who speak before they think. How about that uncle who is always at the bottom of a vodka bottle or friends who have a penchant for bringing up weird topics? These are the kinds of people not to allow because they could ruin your day in a twinkle.

Pull this off by creating a speaker list with a time frame that is not flexible. Let your emcee handle the speakers with strict instructions not to bend for anyone.

We have listed and discussed the person who gives speeches at a wedding, but it goes beyond that. In this post, you will find tips and ideas on how to pull off an unforgettable wedding speech, welcome toast, thank you speech, and more. Whether you are the couple, host, parents, family, friends, or wedding party, we’ve got you covered. Check this post and get inspired with our viable wedding speech tips.

Stories You Might Like

flower girl bouquet alternative main image

Flower Girl Bouquet Alternative For 2024...

wedding at home bride groom

Planning Wedding At Home? Best Tips And...

gorgeous summer wedding bouquets featured carmensantorelliphoto

Gorgeous Summer Wedding Bouquets 30+...

barn-wedding-planning-tips-main-image

How To Plan Dreamy Barn Wedding: Insider...

barn wedding decorations

Romantic Barn Wedding Decorations

how much does a wedding photographer cost

Average Wedding Photographer Cost: 2024...

wedding dance songs bride groom together

75 Best Wedding Party Dance Songs

instrumental wedding songs instrumental wedding songs bride groom dance

80 Instrumental Wedding Songs For Each...

romantic quotes books pages

43 Romantic Quotes For Your Inspiration...

Black wedding bouquets

Black Wedding Bouquets: 27 Moody And...

popular instagram posts adinistorfoto

The Most Popular Instagram Posts of 2023

wedding caterer prices wedding reception table setting featured

Wedding Caterer Prices: The Ultimate...

25 Free Wedding Planning Checklists

Fill in all required * fields below to receive the checklists bundle.

By submitting this form you agree to receive promotional emails from Wedding Forward about other checklists, wedding planning articles, products, and other wedding related topics. You may unsubscribe at any time. Check out our Privacy Policy for more information.

IMAGES

  1. How to Give an AMAZING Wedding Speech

    giving speeches at wedding

  2. The Complete Guide To Giving A Wedding Speech

    giving speeches at wedding

  3. Expert Tips for Giving the Perfect Wedding Speech

    giving speeches at wedding

  4. 23 Bride's Speech Examples: Ultimate Guide for Perfect Speech

    giving speeches at wedding

  5. woman-giving-speeches-at-wedding

    giving speeches at wedding

  6. Wedding Speech

    giving speeches at wedding

VIDEO

  1. Celebrity Wedding Planner Shares Her BEST Wedding Speech Tips!

  2. What To Say In A Wedding Speech

  3. 😁Funniest wedding speech! by Mother of the Bride; Father's speech

COMMENTS

  1. The Wedding Speech Order Guide to Easily Follow

    The Traditional Wedding Speech Order. Yes, there's a specific order for traditional wedding speeches, but if you don't know where to begin, let us guide you through it. Here's the rundown of who gives the welcome speech at a wedding, when the father of the bride should give a speech and more. 1. The Father of the Bride or Parents of the Bride

  2. How to Write a Wedding Speech: Examples, Tips, and Advice

    Father of the Bride Wedding Speech Example. "Good evening, family, and friends. I'm Daniel Lee, the father of the bride. I'd like to welcome you to this special occasion where we get to ...

  3. Wedding Speeches: How To Write, Free Samples + Etiquette Tips

    Whether you're giving wedding speeches for the bride, best man, or brother; the shorter the better. This will help make sure you don't bore the audience. 11 /14. Wedding Thank You Speeches "We (couple) worked really hard to make this day perfect. But we remembered that being bound to the one you love in the presence of your loved ones ...

  4. Wedding Speech Order & How to Write a Toast

    Maid of honor: The maid of honor takes the mic immediately following the best man's speech. Host (s): The wedding reception is traditionally hosted by the bride's parents (if applicable). The father of the bride and/or mother of the bride will congratulate the newlyweds and give a toast. Couple: The couple may wish to say a few brief words to ...

  5. Who Gives a Speech at the Wedding Reception?

    Want to know who gives speeches at wedding receptions? We break down the key wedding party members that should give a toast at the event. 90 years of expert advice and inspiration, for every couple.

  6. How to Write a Wedding Speech: Your Easy Step-by-Step Guide

    End with a toast. Cap off your speech on a fun and sentimental note by ending with an actual toast. Dalo recommends this foolproof example: "Please join me in raising a glass to the happy couple. Cheers to X and Y, and best wishes for a lifetime of laughter!" Afterward, go in for a hug with the couple, making for the perfect photo op!

  7. How to Write Your Bride Speech With Examples & Tips

    Thank Your Guests. The first step when it comes to how to write a killer bride speech: thank your favorite people! The room is filled with loved ones who put in the time, money and effort to support you on your special day, so the first words you say should be a big, heartfelt "thank you." 2. Shout-Out Your VIPs.

  8. A Complete Guide to Order of Speeches at a Wedding

    It's actually harder for a speaker to write and deliver a great short wedding speech, than a standard length one of 7-8 minutes," says Marc. 3. Ask the person before you to introduce you. This saves you from having to clumsily introduce yourself to the room and lets you know when it's okay to start your speech. 4.

  9. The Ultimate Guide to Wedding Speeches and Toasts

    Tips For Giving Wedding Speeches and Toasts Don't drink too much beforehand. We love open bars at weddings as much as the next person, but you don't want to be slurring your words or drunkenly rambling in front of everyone. Just a couple of sips of liquid courage will get you through those few minutes in front of the crowd, we promise!

  10. How To Write A Wedding Speech: The Ultimate Guide For Do's, Don'ts, and

    Someone you love is getting married, and you've just been asked to give a speech at the wedding. What an honor! But also, if you're not used to giving speeches, what a nightmare! Public speaking can be scary, which is why many people prefer to avoid it. But when your bestie asks you to make a speech at his or her wedding, it's time to rally.

  11. How to Write a Perfect Wedding Speech

    Wait for your most creative time of the day, and turn off any distractions. Spend some unrushed time thinking about your relationship to the couple, and what you'd like to say.". While there ...

  12. Short Wedding Speeches: Tips and Examples That Will Inspire You

    Wedding speeches are a long-time tradition of weddings. And, if you have an important role at a wedding, such as best man, father of the bride or maid of honor, you would be expected to give a speech. While the thought of giving a speech might be nerve-wracking, it might comfort you to know that the best speeches are short and sweet.

  13. Wedding Speech Order: Who Gives Speeches and When?

    Modern Wedding Speech Order. A more common speech order for the modern couple. Rehearsal Dinner. The Couple's Parents: Parents from both sides of the family give speeches (expect anywhere from one to four speeches).; Wedding Party: Anyone from the wedding party has the opportunity to speak (including the best man and maid of honor).; Bride and Groom: The couple acknowledges the prior toasts ...

  14. Our Favorite Wedding Speech Ideas of All Time

    Speak From the Heart @daniel_k._films You have about 5 seconds to grab a box of tissues… #weddingtiktok #wedding #speech #fypシ #maidofhonor ♬ original sound - Daniel_K._Films. The wedding speech is supposed to be thoughtfully written—and while some wedding party members will want to crack jokes and lighten the mood, others might want to write something serious and touching.

  15. Wedding Toast Examples, Tips, and Advice

    Your wedding toast should be meaningful, but not drawn out. Make sure to have a beginning, middle, and end. While everyone's speech will be unique to them and their relationship with the couple ...

  16. Wedding Speeches: How to Write and Deliver a Memorable Toast

    At a traditional wedding, certain people are expected to give speeches. These people include the father of the bride, the best man, and the maid of honor. ... How long should a wedding speech be? The length of a wedding speech can vary, but generally, it should be no longer than 5-7 minutes. This allows enough time to deliver a heartfelt ...

  17. How to Write a Wedding Speech: 13 Steps (with Pictures)

    Remember, the focus of your speech is the married couple. 2. Open with a joke. Start by telling a joke or recalling a humorous anecdote to loosen up the crowd (and yourself. Humor is very disarming, so getting everyone laughing right off the bat can help dispel some of the nerves of giving a speech.

  18. What's the Best Time for Wedding Speeches at the Reception?

    Kick Off Dancing With Toasts. The third option is to have toasts at the tail end of the meal, giving your speechmakers plenty of time to enjoy the reception once they're done. You can either ...

  19. Wedding Welcome Speech: Tips On Writing + Speech Samples

    Wedding Welcome Speech Tips. Wedding introduction speeches can make even the boldest person nervous. So nervous that you either forget your lines or don't know how to start. Below are a few tips to help you start great wedding welcoming speeches. Introduce yourself; Don't step on stage with the false pride that everyone knows you.

  20. What to Say in a Wedding Speech & What NOT to Say

    5.0. ( 2) See all vendors. "When drafting a wedding speech, the speaker would start it based on what their role is in the wedding," Chertoff says. For example, " the father or mother of the bride or groom may start by thanking everyone for attending, since they may be the host of the occasion." If you're giving a maid of honor speech or best ...

  21. Order of Speeches at Weddings and Who Speaks

    Traditionally, the order of speeches at a wedding reception follows a specific structure: Father of the Bride. Maid of Honor. Best Man. The first speech is given by the father of the bride, or parents of the bride. This speech usually welcomes guests and thanks them for coming. The father of the bride will also express his love and pride for ...

  22. Exactly Who Gives Speeches at Weddings & When

    The Mother and/or Father of the Groom Speech. According to tradition, the mother and father of the groom give a speech during the rehearsal dinner. This is because traditionally the groom's parents hosted the rehearsal dinner while the bride's parents hosting the wedding. Splitting the budget that way may or may not be the case for many couples ...

  23. Who Gives Speeches At A Wedding: Guide And Ideas

    The person who gives speeches at the wedding rehearsal dinner is the host first, followed by everyone else, like the best man, groomsmen, maid of honor, bridesmaids, friends, and family. Rehearsal dinners may be hosted by the bride or groom's parents. In some cases, the couple pays for it.