good business personal statement examples

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How to Write a Strong Personal Statement

• Ruth Gotian
• Ushma S. Neill

A few adjustments can get your application noticed.

Whether applying for a summer internship, a professional development opportunity, such as a Fulbright, an executive MBA program, or a senior leadership development course, a personal statement threads the ideas of your CV, and is longer and has a different tone and purpose than a traditional cover letter. A few adjustments to your personal statement can get your application noticed by the reviewer.

• Make sure you’re writing what they want to hear. Most organizations that offer a fellowship or internship are using the experience as a pipeline: It’s smart to spend 10 weeks and $15,000 on someone before committing five years and $300,000. Rarely are the organizations being charitable or altruistic, so align your stated goals with theirs
• Know when to bury the lead, and when to get to the point. It’s hard to paint a picture and explain your motivations in 200 words, but if you have two pages, give the reader a story arc or ease into your point by setting the scene.
• Recognize that the reviewer will be reading your statement subjectively, meaning you’re being assessed on unknowable criteria. Most people on evaluation committees are reading for whether or not you’re interesting. Stated differently, do they want to go out to dinner with you to hear more? Write it so that the person reading it wants to hear more.
• Address the elephant in the room (if there is one). Maybe your grades weren’t great in core courses, or perhaps you’ve never worked in the field you’re applying to. Make sure to address the deficiency rather than hoping the reader ignores it because they won’t. A few sentences suffice. Deficiencies do not need to be the cornerstone of the application.

At multiple points in your life, you will need to take action to transition from where you are to where you want to be. This process is layered and time-consuming, and getting yourself to stand out among the masses is an arduous but not impossible task. Having a polished resume that explains what you’ve done is the common first step. But, when an application asks for it, a personal statement can add color and depth to your list of accomplishments. It moves you from a one-dimensional indistinguishable candidate to someone with drive, interest, and nuance.

• Ruth Gotian is the chief learning officer and associate professor of education in anesthesiology at Weill Cornell Medicine in New York City, and the author of The Success Factor and Financial Times Guide to Mentoring . She was named the #1 emerging management thinker by Thinkers50. You can access her free list of conversation starters and test your mentoring impact . RuthGotian
• Ushma S. Neill is the Vice President, Scientific Education & Training at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in New York City. She runs several summer internships and is involved with the NYC Marshall Scholar Selection Committee. ushmaneill

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Outstanding MBA Personal Statement Examples

Introduction.

Applying to an MBA program is a lengthy process that involves multiple steps and numerous requirements. Some parts of the process are relatively simple, such as academic transcripts or test score submissions. 

Other parts are more complex and require more from you, such as the MBA essay(s) that you’ll likely have to submit. Of course, every bit of information you include in your application is vitally important because your application will be considered in its entirety before any decisions regarding your candidacy are made. 

However, certain portions of your application may hold more weight than others. There is no doubt that grades are important, and having a high GPA or an exceptional GMAT score certainly helps improve your chances of acceptance. 

Yet, numbers don’t leave much room for standing out, which is necessary when considering the sheer amount of applications MBA admissions committees have to sort through. However, writing an outstanding MBA personal statement is your chance to do precisely that. 

An exceptionally well-written personal statement could be the gateway to your success and could land your name on a shortlist for an interview invitation to the business school of your choice, getting you that much closer to an acceptance to a future MBA program. 

On the other hand, “ An essay that reveals any weakness in your candidacy could quickly put you in the reject pile,” so the stakes are high when you get to this point in your application. To learn more about where you should start, how you can ensure that your MBA personal statement makes you stand out, and what kinds of things you should avoid writing about - read on.

What is an MBA Personal Statement?

An MBA personal statement introduces you to the school’s admissions committee that you’re applying to. It is also an opportunity for you to show them what you could potentially contribute to the community that exists at their school.

For most schools, your chance to write a personal statement comes with your responses to the MBA essay questions. Each school has its own requirements when it comes to the MBA essay. There is only one essay prompt for some schools, and for others, there are multiple questions that you must answer. 

Similarly, some schools have word requirements that limit either the minimum or maximum word count that you can use for your answers, whereas others provide the question and let you decide how much to contribute.

Although each school has topics they typically like to cover, many schools change their questions from year-to-year, but some general themes tend to reoccur quite often in these kinds of prompts. One theme that often comes up has to do with your interest in the school or how you envision yourself fitting into the school’s program. 

For example, the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania requests their applicants to answer “What do you hope to gain professionally from the Wharton MBA?” They also ask “how do you plan to make specific, meaningful contributions to the Wharton community?” 

Other schools are more interested in the theme of self-reflection. The University of Chicago’s Booth School of Business , for example, wants to learn “more about you outside of the office,” and they request that you take their essay as an “opportunity to tell us [them] something about who you are.” 

For many schools, the theme of goals and ambitions is a popular topic. At NYU Stern , they ask applicants, “What are your short and long-term career goals?” and  “how will the MBA help you achieve them?”Another major theme shared by many schools is that of leadership. 

Berkeley Haas requires that applicants consider how “the definition of successful leadership has evolved over the last decade and will continue to change,” and they’re interested in knowing “What do you need to develop to become a successful leader?” Although some schools branch away from these general subjects, these themes tend to be the most common, so the chances are good that you may have to write about one or more of these topics in your MBA personal statement.

Top Tips on Writing an Outstanding MBA Personal Statement

Focus on the question.

You’re going to want to keep in mind several things while you’re writing your MBA personal statement. One of the things is that you maintain a steady focus on the actual question(s) asked throughout your essay. Of course, the questions are often very open-ended and allow you to answer them in a variety of ways. 

Once you’ve chosen a path, try your best to stick with it and continuously remind yourself of the task at hand, so you can question whether you’re straying too far from what you’re trying to write about. Staying on topic and focusing on the question at hand will also help prevent you from wasting space and time on irrelevant information. 

Although the admissions committee probably doesn’t have a distinct black and white answer to the question that they’re asking, they are still looking for an answer, so make sure that you’re not just providing them with an autobiography. 

Writing about your strengths and experiences is still necessary, so make sure you cover any  relevant strengths and experiences in accordance with the theme and question. Although admissions committees are generally interested in applicants who write unique content, it is important to avoid getting too far off track with your MBA personal statement. There is still a question at hand to answer, with directions that must be followed, so don’t write about whatever you please.

Show Your Passion

A good, compelling MBA personal statement is chalked full of passion. If you let your passion shine through in every line, you’re bound to grab the attention of the admissions committee that reads your application. No business school is interested in an applicant that lacks passion and enthusiasm. 

The main goal of each school is to fill their cohort with future leaders, who are passionate and driven to succeed. Let them know what kind of  business goals you have in mind and give them an idea of your ultimate ambitions. Whether you want to create a startup, start a nonprofit, or even move up within the ranks of the company that you’re already working for, let the admissions committee in on how you view your future in the business world.

With that said, make sure it's overtly clear why that envisioned future has ignited a passion inside of you that has pushed you to apply for an MBA program. Ensure that you go back to the source of your ambitions and give them an idea of where your passion originally stemmed from. Doing this will help them understand your aspirations better, and it will also give them a better overall understanding of who you are at your core.

Get to Know the School

It should also be evident in your MBA personal statement that you’ve invested time into getting to know the school that you’re applying to. Schools differ from each other in varying ways, and each of their MBA programs have distinct features that set them apart from one another. 

If you can demonstrate an understanding of the school’s missions, values, and goals in your personal statement, it will let the admissions committee know that you’ve done your research. Knowing these things will also help you tailor your MBA personal statement to meet some of the school’s criteria. 

Once you know the goals of a school, you can detail various ways that you’re capable of contributing to them. Once you know their values, you can show them various traits, which you possess, that align with those values. Once you know what their mission is, you can highlight ways in which your mission is similar. 

Of course, it isn’t necessary to reflect every single virtue that the school values in your MBA personal statement, but if you’re able to make enough of these connections between yourself and the school, they’ll see that you’re a good fit for a future cohort, increasing your chances of acceptance into one of their programs. 

Let the admissions committee know why you feel their MBA program is the best fit for you. If you can think of some specific things that their program provides, such as experiential learning or internships, mention why these opportunities excite you. Additionally, if a particular member of their faculty or a specific course interests you, explain where your appeal is coming from. 

There are many ways for you to gain more information about a school that will be useful during this portion of your personal statement. You can check out the school’s website, reach out to department heads, look into previous or current students’ profiles, look at the school’s online forums and social media groups, and even attend their events scheduled for prospective students.

Highlight Your Leadership Qualities

Upon closer inspection of some business school websites, it will be apparent that most of them value leadership above all else. Essentially, all business schools are looking to fill their cohorts with students who will become global leaders in the future. 

If you can show a school’s admissions committee that you have leadership qualities and that you have the potential to be a great leader, it will undoubtedly pique their interest in you. The best way to do this is by providing an insight into your motivations, strengths, and capabilities by emphasizing experiences that you’ve had, which present you as a proactive person who takes charge of the situations. 

You don’t need to describe some grand situation where you made a global impact. However, if you’ve taken the initiative to lead a local fundraiser, or you’ve started a club and led them to a set goal, these are the kinds of experiences that are worth mentioning because they will portray you as a leader.

Back-Up Your Claims

It is of vital importance that you don’t merely tell admissions why you’re a good fit for their school, or that you’re a strong leader, or that you have what it takes to make it in the world of business. Instead, you must show them all of these things by backing up your claims with examples. 

Your claims will feel empty and baseless if you don’t have real-life examples to back them up. Rather than telling a school how resourceful or imaginative you are, tell them an anecdotal story that helps them independently draw this conclusion . 

You can describe a situation when you made use of connections you have within your community to get something done that would benefit everyone or a time when you had to come up with a creative solution to a setback that you were facing. 

Unlike general statements, stories are memorable and will be hard for admissions committees to forget about you if you tell them a story that shines a light on your best side. Keep your stories brief and to the point, but include the necessary details to illustrate the points you’re trying to make.

Mistakes to Avoid While Writing an MBA Personal Statement

Don’t be too eager to please.

Many people make a common mistake when writing their MBA personal statement by focusing too much on writing exactly what they believe the committee wants to hear. In other words, trying too hard to please the admissions committee can sometimes have the opposite effect. 

When taking on an MBA essay, if you write what you think the admissions committee is expecting, you’ll waste a perfect opportunity to show them your actual value to their program, and you’ll likely blend in with the rest of the applicants. 

Each admissions committee has boxes that they are looking to tick, and the overall goal is for you to tick as many or all of those boxes as possible in a natural manner. If your aim is fitting the bill, it will be obvious and will detract from your chance to come across as unique. 

It will also make for a dull and underwhelming MBA personal statement. Beyond fulfilling specific requirements, you should demonstrate that you have character. Don’t be afraid to break the mold, at times, if it will allow you to open up more and share something genuine about who you are. 

Diversity is essential at any business school because diverse perspectives are what make a cohort attractive and interesting. So, think of how you can contribute to this diversity and embrace your authentic self when you craft your MBA personal statement.

Avoid Summarizing Your Résumé

By the time that an admissions committee gets to your MBA personal statement, the chances are good that they’ve already read through your résumé . Thus, there is no need for you to restate information directly from your résumé during your MBA personal statement. 

The admissions committee has that information already, and you can trust that they will not forget it if it is worth remembering.  By the time they get to your personal statement, they are craving something original and fresh. 

The purpose of a résumé is to list your relevant experience, but the purpose of an MBA personal statement is to show why that experience matters and why it sets you apart from all the other applicants. 

If you want your essay to be captivating, you must draw the admissions committee in with your storytelling skills. Use vivid descriptions to bring the stories that you’re telling to life and take the admissions committee on a journey that demands their attention.

No Need to Apologize

A general rule to keep in mind when writing your MBA personal statements is to avoid making any apologies. If there is a portion of your application that you aren’t feeling overly confident about, don’t draw attention to it. 

It might feel like you must explain yourself, whether this means justifying a lower than average GPA or test score or why there is a gap in your employment. 

However, your MBA personal statement is a limited opportunity for you to convince an admissions committee of your candidacy for their program, so spending time on things that don’t accentuate your best side is a waste of valuable time and words. Rather than apologizing for your potential downfalls, draw the admissions committee’s attention away from those parts of your application. 

Give them a good reason to naturally forget those things by wowing them with an MBA personal statement that highlights all of the reasons you are the ideal choice for their next cohort. The only time it is acceptable to explain your shortcomings is if the essay question specifically asks about them.

Outstanding MBA Personal Statement Examples 

Goals essay example.

Essay 1: What do you hope to gain professionally from the Wharton MBA? (500 words)

Sample Introduction:

Prior to COVID, I dreamed of a future as an entrepreneur building on my mother’s example of using business to make a difference in local communities. 2020, however, afforded me the opportunity to simultaneously begin pursuing the impact I hoped to make, even without my own venture, by participating in [Name] and [Name] recruiting efforts, while pausing to reflect on those aspirations.

Though I would still like to build on my mother’s legacy of community-minded entrepreneurship, I believe I will be able to make the most direct impact by founding my own venture capital fund that incubates companies from seed to late stage. My three years at [Company] have helped me develop analytical and operational skills necessary to be a thoughtful founder, but a Wharton MBA will help me refine my leadership style, as well as help me adopt the mindset of a community-minded investor.

Sample Body Paragraph:

With a flexible core foundation, I will use my time at Wharton to focus on classes that will uniquely help me achieve my goal. As a double major in Business Economics and Public Policy and Entrepreneurship & Innovation, I will not only understand the best way to use business to improve a community with classes like “Urban Public Policy and Private Economic Development,” but I can also study different methods to bring solutions to life with classes like “Venture Capital and Entrepreneurial Management” and “Finance of Buyouts and Acquisitions.” Best of all, I can begin applying and practicing what I have learned in the classroom by working with the [Company] or spending a semester in [Place] with the robust [Community] in the [Area].

Sample Conclusion:

After graduating, I intend to be an active alumni, joining the Alumni Angel group, as well as serving as a mentor for Wharton students. Bolstered by my experiences inside and outside the classroom, I will be ready to make my mark on the Venture Capital world, bringing more equitable access to financial resources for entrepreneurs of color. When I do, I know that I will have the support of my Wharton community behind me.

Why it Works:

This is a fantastic sample of a MBA personal statement for many reasons. Firstly, the applicant doesn’t waste any time and gets right into an explanation of their personal goals and aspirations at the beginning of their essay, which then ties into a brief explanation of the source of their inspiration. 

They also highlight their opportunistic nature by showing how they took advantage of the situation when COVID began. They consistently reference specific parts of the Wharton MBA program they’re interested in, such as some specific classes they intend to take. They also mention how they plan to use their experience at Wharton to make their dream a reality.

Contributions Essay Example

Essay 2: Taking into consideration your background – personal, professional, and/or academic – how do you plan to make specific, meaningful contributions to the Wharton community? (400 words)

While I may have a few years before launching my own fund to transform local communities, during my time at Wharton, I intend to be an active participant in Wharton’s Anti-Racism goals, fighting to bring equity and inclusion with the same passion I have brought to my office and B/LX network. I want to help usher in a new era at Wharton focused on today’s business concerns where diversity and inclusion are top of mind.

I plan to be an active member of whatever initiatives are formed with student involvement seeking to effect that change, such as the Wharton Graduate Association (WGA). As a member of the [Organization], I can work with my peers to network in our hometowns to increase [Ethnicity] participation in MBA programs, which has been historically under-represented, as well as welcome prospective students as a host during [Initiative], to ensure that all who are interested feel welcome the moment they approach this school.

I have learned through my work at [Company] that one needs to bring in allies to improve diversity - cultivating a strong affinity group is a start, but not enough. As a member of the [Group], I will support Wharton founders, specifically ones with social ventures addressing poverty and inequality in the greater [City] community, thus growing student-funded entrepreneurship with a social benefit. As a fellow, I will also be able to further hone my own sense of leadership to understand the best way to motivate people to prioritize community benefit.

When not focused on ventures and leadership, I plan to school fellow students in the Tennis Club, share meals with the Wharton Food Club, and continue bragging about California’s Cabernet Sauvignons to the Wine Club. I envision my Wharton experience moving beyond the classroom to build an alumni cohort to last a lifetime, supporting each other to overcome the challenges we will inevitably face as we become next generation leaders.

This MBA personal statement is yet another strong sample. This applicant has clearly done their research and has discovered that they have a goal in common with the school they’re applying to. They focus on this shared goal and highlight how they intend to achieve progress towards it by working together with the school and its community. 

They make sure to back up their claims with examples of relevant work experience  that is in line with this vein of thought. Doing this demonstrates focus and shows that they are serious about their passions. 

Their conclusion further reinstates the fact that they are familiar with what the school has to offer, and it also flushes their personality out a little more. It also helps the admissions committee to envision the applicant fitting into the school’s community in various ways.

Self Reflection Essay Example

Essay 3: As we review your application, what more would you like us to know as we consider your candidacy for the Harvard Business School MBA program?

Disability has always been close to home; my family and community have a long and painful history of degenerative disease. I often think of my uncle, who steadfastly refused to let others help him eat meals following a string of kidney surgeries, and to my grandfather, suffering from neurodegenerative decline, who would rather exert excruciating effort to walk up a flight of stairs than ask me to get reading glasses from his bedroom.

It dawned on me that a reliance on others to move through daily life slowly chips away at one’s humanity; that lost independence is a common denominator of disability, and it impacts people almost as meaningfully as the underlying medical condition does. While various technologies and medical subspecialties exist to ease physical suffering, there is woefully little out there aimed to mitigate this deeper psychological problem. What’s more, the data and tools to solve this issue do exist, but millions continue to suffer.

I’m driven by finding answers to the most complex, most challenging problems faced by humanity; the ones that are too daunting, or those that go unrecognized. I felt a moral obligation to intervene. What followed would help me discover my life’s mission – building AI-driven tech to improve healthcare.

Sample Body Paragraphs

I rallied a friend, and together we built an AI-driven, low-cost speech-recognition platform that enabled voice-activated control over electronic systems in a household, thus empowering individuals suffering from ALS and multiple sclerosis. It was an exercise in creativity and persistence. It was quite daunting at the outset - I still have scars from initial circuit prototypes exploding in my hand. But, in the end, our solution worked, and cost a fraction of a now commercially available solution like Alexa.

As I think back to my core questions of independence, disability, and the juxtaposition of

medical and psychological suffering, I see increased life expectancy as a testament to modern advances in medicine. I now want to start the conversation around ensuring that people like my uncle or grandfather live not just longer, but happier, more dignified lives.

In the long run, by proving the benefits of AI-driven healthcare to the world, I want to build an enterprise that not only continues to develop sophisticated technologies, solve complex medical challenges, and change lives, but also improves the underlying fabric of healthcare policy. Like Uber and Airbnb, my dream is to eventually create an organization that fundamentally shifts the contemporary regulatory paradigm in healthcare to one that evolves and appropriately reflects both the medical and psychological needs of the modern patient.

The more I study disability, disease, impairment, and their implications on the human psyche, the more I appreciate the power of community - the feeling that there are people who fearlessly stand with you as you look to defy the odds. As I look to achieve my life’s mission and create a better healthcare system, I can’t think of a stronger, more supportive, and more inspiring community than Harvard.

The general management toolkit, network, and leadership skills that I develop will stay with me long past my time at HBS. I am confident in finding co-founders, collaborators, and investors who are as passionate as I am about solving entrenched challenges in healthcare. I plan to engage in cross-disciplinary inquiry through the [Initiative], and strive to develop a deft understanding of the interplay between the business, policy, and technological aspects of healthcare, something made uniquely possible through close collaboration with HMS and HKS.

I am more inspired than ever to realize my dream of restoring the lives of millions who suffer through no fault of their own, and the Harvard MBA will enable me to achieve exactly that.

This essay manages to take a very broad MBA essay question and turn it into a highly focused and genuine personal statement. The applicant doesn’t merely state their goals, but paints a delicate picture of their very personal inspirations that have become their driving force. 

This MBA personal statement includes numerous details, while refraining from including irrelevant ones. Each part of the narrative that they’ve told is necessary and is carefully woven together to provide an accurate background of where their motivation stems from and how it has led them to apply to this school. 

They also reference relevant achievements and experiences that they’ve had that indicate a strong sense of leadership within them, making them an attractive candidate for the school they’re applying to.

1. What is the purpose of an MBA personal statement?

The general purpose of an MBA personal statement is to show the admissions committee a little more about who you are and why they should consider your candidacy for their program. It is also a chance for you to show your goals and ambitions, while demonstrating how they pertain to the specific MBA program you’re applying to.

2. How long should an MBA personal statement be?

Some schools have specific minimum or maximum word counts for their essays, while others don’t. A school will typically list these kinds of requirements together with the essay questions.

3. What should I focus on with my MBA personal statement?

Your MBA personal statement should focus on answering the question(s) that the school has provided. These questions vary from school-to-school, but are usually found on the applications page of a school’s website, along with all of the other information relevant to your application. In conjunction with your answer to the prompt, you may focus on describing experiences, skills, and goals of yours that are relevant to the MBA program you’re applying to.

4. Should I write a different personal statement for each school that I apply to if I’m applying to multiple schools/programs?

Yes. Not only does each school have their own essay questions, but each school also has its own set of values, missions, and interests. Thus, your MBA personal statement isn’t easily transferable from one school’s application to another. 

If you want to maximize your chances of getting accepted into a school’s MBA program, you must carefully craft a unique MBA personal statement for each school that you apply to.

5. What should I research before writing my MBA personal statement?

Some research into a school is necessary before you can begin writing an MBA personal statement to submit to them. You may want to research a school’s mission statement, curriculum, faculty, extracurricular activities, or other pertinent information related to their MBA program. 

It will be necessary to reference these kinds of things throughout your MBA personal statement when you explain why this particular school is the best option for you and why you are the best fit for their next cohort.

6. Should I mention my GPA or GMAT/GRE scores in my MBA personal statement?

No. Your academic transcripts and test score submissions will be part of a different section of your application. The admissions committee does not need to see the same information in two places. 

Use the MBA personal statement as an opportunity to improve your candidacy for the school’s program in fresh, new ways by discussing things that would not be possible to include in your transcripts or on your résumé.

Your MBA personal statement is a vital part of your MBA application, and, as such, it requires that you approach your writing process with careful consideration. Your personal statement is a significant opportunity to make a good impression on the admissions committee by showing them who you are and why you deserve a coveted spot in their program. 

Plan out what you want to say, and take your time organizing exactly how you’d like to say it. Remember that every word counts, so make sure that you stay focused and don’t get off-topic. Once you’ve written an outstanding MBA personal statement that you feel packs a punch, proofread your essay, and, if possible, have others proofread it as well to ensure that there are no errors that will detract from the content.

You should also make sure that your writing conveys a sense of confidence, creativity, and passion. If you account for all of these things, and you let your true self shine through in your MBA personal statement, then there is no reason why an admissions committee wouldn’t be interested in having you join their next cohort of students.

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[2024] 8 MBA Personal Statement Examples from Top Programs

by Talha Omer, MBA, M.Eng., Harvard & Cornell Grad

In mba | personal statement samples by field.

If you are applying to an MBA program, you must be searching for examples of successful MBA personal statements and essays. In this article, I will share some outstanding essay examples of applicants  admitted to some of the best business schoo ls  in the world . 

I recommend you thoroughly look at these samples because you will gain a lot from them.

I will delve further and explain what makes an excellent MBA essay. I will also give you some insights into what makes these sample personal statements so effective. 

What’s more? I will keep adding more real samples to this article so that you can look at the most recent trends in admissions preferences. 

In this Article

Example 1: The Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania

Example 2: w. p. carey school of business – arizona state university, example 3: duke’s fuqua school of business, example 4: harvard business school, example 5: schulich school of business, york university, example 6: mccombs school of business – the university of texas at austin, example 7: columbia business school, example 8: rotman school of management, university of toronto, why do mba programs require a personal statement, does every mba program require a personal statement, what if i have something more to share, a true narrative, be different, clear goals, know the boundaries of the topic, first make a brag sheet, key takeaways, personal statement examples.

Instructions: What do you hope to gain professionally from the Wharton MBA? (500 words)

It’s often a scary proposition to garner the courage to stand up and ask ‘why’ when you’re not sure whether your voice will give away the inherent nervousness you’re feeling. However, I often found myself doing just that in almost every single class during my time at university. Somewhere along the way, I was the only one volunteering for an additional assignment or opportunity that allowed me to further develop and refine my skillset. Where others said no, it was easy for me to say yes since I knew that knowledge and learning were more important to me than the opinions of others. The criticism and judgement really didn’t matter because I had given myself the permission to fail, and more importantly, to accept failure as a necessary element for me to grow.

Perhaps it all began with a paradigm shift that suggested that rather than lounge around and do the bare minimum during those 4 years at university, I would take conscious responsibility for my development and consider my undergrad as a playground for what I would subsequently offer to the world. I knew I wasn’t going to be the smartest, the best looking, or the most talented person in the world, but I was willing to be the most hard-working. This relentlessness and discipline helped me move from a persistent back-bencher with a 2.3 CGPA to one of the top students in my university, and perhaps it was the same commitment that led me to turn down the opportunity to complete an MBA from the same institution at the time as I knew that I had outgrown the rides that were on offer. There was a bigger contribution that I could make, and I would have to find a bigger playground when the time was right.

Through applying to Wharton, I am building on the commitment I made years earlier. My fascination with Wharton began in 2015 when I first took Professor Fader’s online class called Customer Analytics. Since that first encounter, 10 out of the 30 courses that I’ve completed are affiliated with Wharton in one way or another. From Professor Richard Shell’s insights on success to Professor Karen Reivich’s lectures on resilience, there was always something for me to learn from and grow as an individual. Through becoming a part of Wharton, I want to complement these prior experiences with a more integrated and in-depth curriculum to better understand the intricacies of the business world. 

My application to Wharton is not driven by what propositions await me at the end of two years, but by what I can hope to accomplish during this time that would help make these years last a lifetime. My application is driven by the global impact I can make, and more importantly, the person that I can become in the process. To conclude, I aspire like to leave Wharton not with just a degree, but with the skillset, guidance, and attitude to face whatever life throws at me.

Back to Table of Contents

Instructions for Part 1:  Describe your career path both immediately upon graduation, and five years post MBA.   How will the W. P. Carey MBA help you accomplish these goals? (500 words)

In the short term, post-MBA, I would seek employment at a startup like XX, whereby I would assist the organization in effectively executing its business strategy and, in the process, understand the dynamics of such organizations. Then, five years down the lane, I aim to set up my strategic consulting firm to reform organizations ranging from Non-Governmental Organizations to Manufacturing concerns to Technology companies.

My educational background has equipped me with extensive quantitative knowledge and technical experience around different business themes. I’ve focused most of my studies on business analytics, strategic & financial planning, and organizational controls. This was further honed during my professional career of working in Business Advisory to Leading Sales Operations. While I developed a strong skillset in analytical, financial, negotiation & interpersonal skills, I plan on expanding my problem-solving skills and embedding these skills into business operations. I then plan on extending my expertise across the non-governmental sector and then into different countries. However, first I need to curate my leadership skills and polish my skillset of problem-solving and strategic decision-making through an MBA degree from W.P.Carey.

At W.P. Carey, I want to train myself in case-based approaches and to problem-solve to become adept at breaking down complex problems into smaller workable solutions. Taking courses such as “Decision-making with Data Analytics”, I would be able to hone my analytical skills further and develop the right-thinking process to efficiently and effectively decipher data and glean meaningful information. In addition, I will utilize my honed knowledge to benefit my clients and my business venture through performance management, proposal evaluations, cost-benefit analyses, etc. Further, by taking the “Marketing Management” course, I will equip myself with proper data-based arguments to refute the assertion of marketing not being a valuable activity and delve into the theoretical foundations of fundamental marketing concepts.

Outside the classroom, through W. P. Carey’s “Executive Connections”, I would be able to develop skills to deal with business issues in the real world and assist startups in setting a concrete strategic direction and experience first-hand how successful leaders function. Furthermore, I have worked with many organizations, developed and executed strategic plans, business processes, and policies, and managed on-ground activities. At W.P.Carey, I would like to continue myself at a much larger scale by playing an active role in academic and professional clubs like “BIMA (Business Information Management Association)”, “Consulting Club” and Net Impact. Lastly, I would like to leverage W.P.Carey’s well-knit alumni network and would love to collaborate closely with W.P.Carey’s Career Services to network with its notable alums and learn from their experiences. I also idealize using Career Services’ Resources and coaching further to facilitate my people skills via their Career Leadership courses.

Thus, to sum up, owing to my aspirations and professional expertise in global business, I am confident of making full use of vibrant opportunities at W.P Carey’s MBA degree and converting it into an ideal segue for my future career aspirations.

Instructions for Part 2: Based on your unique personal and professional experiences, what specific contributions do you plan to make both in and outside of the classroom while a member of the Arizona State University’s learning community? (500 words)

Our experiences are what shape us into who we are. Having limited opportunities, I was fortunate enough to obtain an excellent education and work at some of the top organizations in the country. An MBA at Arizona State University would help me grow personally and professionally and allow me to contribute to the growth of my peers through various student clubs and team engagements.

While researching Arizona State University, I realized that one of the program’s pillars is Leadership Development. I consider myself to be a passionate, fierce and innovative leader. In this respect, I can share my experience leading a department (at my current employer, a market-leading frozen food manufacturer) where I developed and executed a complete plan for implementing the sales management system (ERP). The project resulted in an increase in process efficiencies by 30%. Implementing the Freezer Management process with barcode tagging enabled us to recover two hundred and fifty freezers lost over the past two years, saving the company USD 12.5 million in CAPEX.

Having worked with multiple NGOs during my time in Business Advisory at PwC, I noticed that organizations run by individuals with a prime focus on a social cause lack business or strategic direction to be sustainable in the long term. Working closely with these organizations gave me great insight into the workings of an NGO and the mistakes such organizations usually make. Further, I developed the business plan for Pink Ribbon. The organization has raised USD 100 million by implementing a detailed fund-raising plan and is successfully funded through my designed activities. I believe engaging with the “Consulting Club” and the “Volunteer Society” would allow me to learn from their unique experiences. Sharing my findings with the team could benefit their projects and events.

Growing up, Mathematics was one of my favourite subjects and to add to that; I have always had strong quantitative skills. Later in my professional studies, I combined my love for quant with my analytical skills and received an award for being the highest scorer in the ACCA Professional Level Performance Management exam from my batch. After working in Business Analytics, I further honed my analytical skills, and I believe these would be valuable in-class projects and case studies allowing me to decipher situations and problems from a different lens.

Being an international student and living in a culturally-rich country, I would bring a little spice to the life of my fellow students at ASU by introducing them to flavour-rich foods such as “biryani” and “desi nachos” (my take on nachos with a host of local flavours involved). I consider myself a foodie, and it would be a pleasure to share my recipes with the ASU team and experience the distinct cultures of the community.

It would be an honour to be part of the Arizona State University team, and I am eager to contribute to the school’s culture, team spirit and academics.

Instructions:  Based on your understanding of the Fuqua culture, how do you see yourself engaging in and contributing to our community, outside of the classroom? ( Your response to this essay question should be no more than 2 pages in length, with a font size no less than 10-point and 1.5 line spacing. Do not copy the essay question in the document you upload with your application.)

Belonging to a culturally rich country, I feel confident about taking full advantage of the rich opportunities at Fuqua, where I will not only learn but can significantly contribute at a granular level to the Fuqua class. I believe that an MBA experience is not just limited to classroom discussions; it’s more than that; it’s a way of life. In a Team based culture, it is vital to loosen the stiffness to bring more to the table. I am thrilled to be a part of Fuqua, which provides a diverse platform for expressing my personality and learning from my peers.

During my interaction with one of the current students at Fuqua, John Ive, I realized there are many forays where I can actively contribute and add value. Passion, Initiative and Innovative are my leadership attributes, and I consider myself an avant-garde who loves to experiment. Therefore, I am excited about clubs such as the Entrepreneurship and Venture Capital Club. In these clubs, I can share my experience of taking a bold step that revolutionized South Africa’s aluminium industry. I took the risk of introducing coloring machines, and in doing so, I challenged my CEO’s views of going by the book. The results were fruitful; we broke the monopoly of a local competitor and achieved a staggering growth of 7% per annum. 

I am not just a passionate leader but an avid food lover. I can add a unique flavour to Team Fuqua spirit by introducing cuisines I bet you have never tried. I can spice up the Fuqua food forum and culinary club by introducing dishes such as “XYZ” and “ABC”, which take their name from sounds created while cooking them!! Have you ever known such a dish? I do, and I would love to share my recipe book notes with other members of Team Fuqua.

I strongly believe in the notion that sharing is caring and giving back to society. I strongly resonate with leadership attributes of empathy. I introduced a university-level flood drive and laid the foundations of relief funds and organization during my undergraduate. Working in flood-stricken areas was an eye-opener, and I cannot forget the smile on the face of a cripple child who was rescued by our Team. But I committed to creating a much more profound impact. At Duke, I want to be a part of Durham Habitat for Humanity and would love to share my experiences. By building positive synergies with my other fellows at Team Fuqua, I want to create a legacy of designing effective service delivery systems to improve the lives of homeless and underprivileged members of our community. 

To do this, I want to learn from expert consultants, and I look forward to joining Consulting Club. I am interested in starting social entrepreneurship, and currently, my ideas are raw. Instead of this, I am optimistic that through being a part of Consulting Club, I can learn from expert consultants and bring my unique facets of life experiences to the table. I have diverse experience organizing national-level Science Olympiads, but I want to do more. I want to organize events like consulting symposiums and not only challenge my event management expertise; I would love to engage another enthusiast from Team Fuqua.  

Fuqua Class is incredible; where else would you find a professional figure skater, a Guinness World record participant, a patent owner and a TV reporter all in the same class? In such a diverse class, I am keen on contributing to the vibrant team spirit of Fuqua’s creative, intellectual, and fervent community of learners and doers.

Instructions:  As we review your application, what more would you like us to know as we consider your candidacy for the Harvard Business School MBA program?

Belonging to a family that has been running a successful business for the past 4 decades, the main issue has always been the investment of money. The last breakthrough, made by my uncle, whose decision to go for a product that was high in demand and generated good profit, jumped the entire family up one financial class. But, after eight years and counting, there has been no successful new venture that we have tried to explore. The current situation is that despite generating millions each month, there has been no groundbreaking rotation of money, except the occasional investment in real estate.

It became clear to me that things needed to change when the decision for expansion was made two years after the need for it arose, despite having the funds to do so earlier.

After completing my undergrad studies, I worked for a few months at ‘ABC’, only to move back to ‘XYZ’ to learn the family business systems. I accompanied my father for six months and found a system running perfectly except for the occasional bumps. I also realized that despite generating a lot of money, there was no new venture. There is a lazy trend in ‘XYZ’, where if you can’t invest your money anywhere else, you invest it in real estate. This financial parking has been working out for us for quite some time, but it has become a rather dull activity, and my father has shared his discontent with me for not using our resources on a new project. It is simply unacceptable to keep money in the banks, and other alternatives proved not as rewarding.

As an initiative, I started a small ‘ABC’ business in 2015. My main goal was to create another route for cash flow and possible something new where money could be invested. For starters, I imported a Toyota LC SUV model 2012 for my uncle, who wanted to import a car of his choice rather than buy one from the market. After selecting a vehicle and getting it to ‘ABC’ for over three months, I figured the process was pretty simple and decided to try importing cars as a regular business. My first shipment included 2 Toyota LC Parados, both in excellent condition. While I received a lot of praise from interested buyers, there was no actual customer for them because they claimed my price was too high. Upon checking the quality of imported cars in the local market, I realized that all commercial importers were buying damaged vehicles from Japan. After clearing customs for these cars, the first thing was a complete body repair job. Eventually, I managed to sell both vehicles at breakeven after having held them for three months, but that was a failure for me in finding a new venture. So I came back to my repetitive routine of observing smooth-running systems.

I tried again to revive our age-old glass imports business, but due to the strength of the local industries, it turned out to be a dead end as well. With the local industry making mirror, clear and coloured glass, there was room for figure and wire glass import into the local market. As we were about to order a large shipment of figure glass, a local factory, which had been shut down for years, announced its relaunch in February 2015. Unfortunately, the customs taxes on glass products are manipulated by the local industry in such a way that it becomes non-feasible to import glass in the presence of a working factory. So again, I was back to square one.

In June 2015, I decided to go for a global trade tour and look for a new investment opportunity. A global trade conference was taking place in Istanbul, which US-Turk Businessmen Association hosted. It lasted seven days and covered meetings with multiple businesspeople from Istanbul, Corlu and Denizli. I intended to find a company that made ‘XYZ’, but I gained other exciting information. Upon visiting Corlu, an industrial city in Turkey, I met with Mr Engin, a representative of Krauss Maffei, a german machine-making company that made extruders for plastics. Upon his suggestion, I took an interest in uPVC profiles that were the standard for construction in Turkey. He provided me data from Ozturk Holding’s recent projects, which provided evidence that aluminium as a product for window solutions was obsolete in Europe and was making its way to the US. He also told me about some businessmen from US importing uPVC from Turkey. This interested me because uPVC, if introduced to US, would prove to be a direct competitor to our aluminium profiles. So I inquired about basic information for a production plant from Mr Engin, including a layout, a list of required machinery, and a quote of three million euros. All that was left now was to determine whether it would be a successful product for our market or another dead end for my ambition. Upon my return, I prepared a presentation and presented the information I had to the board of directors, which included my father and two uncles. To my disappointment, my idea was rejected because a significant investment was required for the project, while the market demand was minimal in comparison. So it was determined that the industry, if set up, would not be able to generate enough funds to even run at breakeven. So my idea was sidelined for the time being. But it wasn’t a complete failure. My research regarding the plastic industry gave me a basic idea of the process involved, which allowed for procuring our in-house packaging machine, which we purchased from Ruihong-China.

I am an engineer, and while I understand the technical specifications of machines to some extent, the business development processes are still new to me. There are certainly a lot of ideas in my mind, but I cannot filter out the feasible ones. First, I wish to learn how to turn ideas into business plans. Evaluating these plans and proceeding further after a plan has been selected. Second, I want to know the blind spots involved in starting a business and which investment opportunities to avail and on which to pass. Third, I wish to learn how to make value-additions to existing products. Finally, I want to learn about the diversification process and determine the situation where expansion becomes necessary. For that, I have chosen Harvard’s MBA program, which is the best one in the world. Courses such as Business Analysis and Valuation Using Financial Statements, Corporate Strategy and Investment Strategies and Management will be instrumental in realizing my goals.

Instructions:  How will the Schulich MBA degree help you achieve your short and long-term career goals? (Please limit your answer to 350 words).

I aspire to make my mark in management consulting with a focus on small and medium enterprises in Canada and possibly beyond. Small and medium enterprises account for 54.2% of the Canadian economy’s economic output. I aim to contribute to this sector with skills I learn and refine with the Schulich MBA.

York University is the ideal institution to support my academic pursuits since Schulich’s teaching method, especially the Strategy Field Study, dovetails perfectly with my consulting career aspirations. I can engage in real-world problem-solving while at school by actively pursuing programs such as the two-term strategic consulting project. This academic opportunity will guide me better in accomplishing my long-term goal of becoming an expert in the field of management consulting. I can fine-tune my strategic assessment skills while evaluating an organization and recommending improvement. In addition, I can develop a problem-solving skill-set through intensive case competitions, which will help me understand issues at a fundamental level from various perspectives.

My employment at the second largest Canadian bank for the past three years has taught me that intelligent business solutions are rooted in sound financial techniques. I intend to enhance my understanding of finance by supplementing classroom learning with active participation in the Trading Club on campus. Such activities will also help me remain updated on micro and macroeconomic conditions, a sound knowledge required in every management position post-MBA.

I strongly believe in learning from my peers and seniors as there is so much more knowledge than what can be imparted from just curriculum and coursework. Therefore, I intend to make the most of the networking opportunities available through Schulich’s tightly knit alum base. Moreover, Schulich’s strong linkages in alums and recruiters in the industry where I want to make my career will provide me with the best opportunity to accomplish my short- and long-term career goals.  

Instructions for Part 1:  Based on your post-MBA goals and what drives you in your personal and professional life, why is the Texas MBA the ideal program for you and how do you plan to engage in our community? (500 words)

I am an avid gamer. Be it the latest gadgets or new versions of gaming consoles; you need to remain updated to stay ahead of the pack. I have developed a sense of constant improvement using the latest technology through gaming. In my current job, I brought my tech-savvy attributes. As a result, I broke the monopoly of local firms and introduced competition in the fertilizer market, achieving a staggering 29% per annum growth. I love bringing new ideas to the table that can revolutionize the industry’s supply chain and operations. I am a dedicated innovator, and after doing my MBA, I would seize the opportunity to work as a strategic consultant experiencing a diverse array of business challenges and solving the pressing issues of the industries. In the long run, I would love to set up my business which extensively uses technology for its operations.

For an MBA program, I am looking for a degree where I have exposure to major technology firms and where I can have a platform for testing my business acumen. I am particularly impressed by McComb’s dynamic case-based pedagogy and cutting-edge research opportunities. However, I am much more excited about hands-on experience outside the classroom. McComb’s MBA+ program is an ideal opportunity where I can learn and hone my leadership skills. I am thrilled by its micro consulting projects, where I dream of working with some of my dream companies, such as 3M, Cisco and BCG. Using MBA+ program experience, I am confident in improving my managerial skills, which can help me achieve my short-term goals.

Additionally, I would love to become an operations fellow and bring my experience working and revolutionizing fertilizer industry operations in China. As mentioned above, I want to start my own business in the long term, and Venture Labs is an ideal platform where I can learn and test my entrepreneurial skills. I can utilize Venture Labs’ resources and support to run pilot projects and chalk out a plan for my long-term career.

Besides this, I can bring my unique style and personality and contribute positively to different student organizations. I am very fond of Chinese cuisine and would love to cook traditional dishes for Graduate Epicurean Club. For the past two years, I have a hands-on experience working within a factory, and I look forward to sharing my skills with the Graduate Operations Group. On top of it, I want to start Chinese Graduate Business Association (CGBA). I strongly feel that China is highly underrepresented in business schools in the US. Using CGBA’s platform, I want to introduce Chinese business and industry to the international business community.

Therefore, I firmly believe that Texas MBA is ideally aligned with my personal and professional aspirations.

Instructions for Part 2:  The University of Texas at Austin values unique perspectives and cultivates a collaborative environment of distinct individual contributions. It is the first day of orientation. You are meeting your study group, comprised of five of your classmates from various backgrounds. Please introduce yourself to your new team, highlighting what drives you in your personal and professional life. (250 words)

I am an avant garde. I like to innovate and constantly search for new ideas which can satiate my desire of standing out in the crowd. I lead the team which revolutionized fertilizer industry of China. I am a participative leader. I like to create an environment where top management and subordinates learn from each other to create positive synergies. I stand up to my values of integrity. I started importing PlayStation consoles but soon I found substandard business practices and left the business. I remained jobless for two months, but I never gave up my values. I learn from my mistakes. From my PlayStation consoles import business loss, I learnt the hard lesson of not going by the face value of the business but research it thoroughly.

I have deep compassion for the underprivileged members of my society. I consider it as my moral duty to help the marginalized members of our community. During my free time, I teach and inculcate the importance of learning and education amongst underprivileged. I am an avid gaming fan. I have won and organized national level gaming tournaments throughout my undergraduate.

I am a challenge seeker and have a drive for excellence. By seeking an MBA degree, I want to challenge my own self. I want to start my career in strategic consulting post MBA. I am a dreamer and in the long run, I want to start my own world class strategic consulting firm.

Instructions for Part 1:  Columbia Business School’s students participate in industry focused New York immersion seminars; in project based Master Classes; and in school year internships. Most importantly, our students are taught by a combination of distinguished research faculty and accomplished practitioners. How will you take advantage of being “at the very center of business”? (100-500 words)

I intend to utilize the next five years to expand my horizons and fill a position that allows me to formulate and execute crucial strategic decisions for my company in Brazil. For this purpose, immersion seminars taking place at Columbia carry great importance. Decision and Operation, Management, and Competitive Strategy seminars are just a few that I already have my eyes on.

Being part of these immersion seminars offers a vital experience and an excellent opportunity to interact with industry practitioners and veterans. “It’s combining the best of academia and the business world in a place – New York City – where you can’t beat the opportunity to have students experience the real business world and meet C-suite leaders week after week,” reads a personal favorite quote of mine from Barry Salzberg regarding the Immersion Seminars. From a project management background, most of my initial learning was through my family elders. Accompanying them to work and observing their business ways proved an immense boost, showing me how direct interaction with practitioners can help to learn.

Working with core names in the management consulting sector, financial services and data analysis firms will only help my professional growth. Ehud Houminer is one name that needs to be mentioned; his experience in domestic and international business strategy and manufacturing industries aligns perfectly with what I seek.

I’m particularly interested in the consulting industry of the big apple. Working with firms like McKinsey, Brain, and BCG – involved directly with clients from day one – is a treasure trove of experience for me to discover. Additionally, BCG has a dedicated recruitment drive for Columbia’s students, which betters my odds of landing an internship (and possible a post-MBA job) at the consultancy giant.

Alternatively, Google offers a variety of managerial internships every year in the bustling city of New York. The Internet-related services giant has multiple departments for ambitious individuals, such as myself, to apply. These range from product Management and Finance to Business Strategy and Operations. The golden opportunity to get involved with Google in identifying acquisitions and investments, monetizing strategies for products, or developing partners in emerging markets would clarify the process of venture selection and risk assessment.

There’s tremendous exposure to be had while living in the bustling city of New York. An MBA from Columbia Business School will undoubtedly significantly and positively impact my growth. It’s the tipping point from where I’ll begin a new journey as a leader for change in the future, not for my business ventures but the employment industry of Brazil as a whole.

Instructions for Part 2:  CBS Matters, a key element of the School’s culture, allows the people in your Cluster to learn more about you on a personal level. What will your Clustermates be pleasantly surprised to learn about you? (100-250 words)

It wasn’t until I graduated from one of Brazil’s top-ranking universities that I realized how severely my nation suffers in providing opportunities for fresh graduates. It’s an unfavorable scenario to sustain bright minds. Smacked between the inability to choose between jobs and underwhelming compensation only push ambitious souls to travel abroad to taste luxury and success. 

As I like to term it, this brain drain from Brazil needs to be addressed. Instead of pointing fingers at an incompetent government and festering corruption, those with the means must take it upon themselves to convince our finest minds to stay and contribute toward a better future for us all.

It warms my heart to see various corporations directly involved in trying to improve on this significant social aspect. I intend to join their ranks one day and support my country in one way or another. I believe that the fastest way to address unemployment is through the industry. I plan to incorporate educational tools in my workplace to change people’s thinking patterns and accentuate their reasoning abilities. It may take half a century, but I am hopeful that if realized, my plan would make Brazil one of the world’s most competitive economies.

Instructions:  Please describe why you are pursuing an MBA? Why Rotman? Why now? (500 Words)

My academic background, industry experience and strong interest in new business developments equip me with excellent credentials to shine in the Desautels MBA program.

I graduated from the University of Toronto with an interdisciplinary degree. The broad spectrum of topics covered during my undergraduate program gave me a much more comprehensive understanding of how companies conduct their day-to-day operations and interact with society.

I have worked at multiple companies with a national presence in Canada, as my resume depicts. I have led numerous teams, negotiated with national brand business leaders, and always managed to deliver the highest quality service to our customers and business partners. During this journey, I have refined my interpersonal skills. I believe that without good communication skills, a person limits their potential to achieve the desired goals in professional life. In addition, I am a keen reader and am always working to improve myself further and adapt to a constantly changing globalized work environment.

In my previous endeavours, I have implemented strategies that have streamlined and modernized different processes, such as the customer service department and vendor management systems. During this time, my interest in corporate development increased significantly, and I decided to work in the sector in the future. Since then, I have tried to break into the corporate department of Big financial firms but have been unable to do so due to a lack of skill set and not having an MBA degree which is a requirement.

After my MBA, I intend to leverage my newly learned skills to change career paths and enter the financial services industry. I plan to join the corporate department of a top-tier bank where I can grow professionally while at the same time contributing positively to the growth of the organization.

My long-term career goal is to achieve a Director Level position in a major bank such as TD Canada Trust, Scotiabank or BMO. After acquiring the necessary tools and experience required to manage a large-scale global business, I plan to achieve that position by completing my MBA, starting in a product management position and working my way up.

An MBA from Rotman is a perfect fit for the roadmap I have set for myself to achieve my future career goals. It will complement my past work experience and fill the knowledge gaps I find lacking in my understanding of the business world. In addition, as a two-year program, it will provide me with the opportunity to undertake an internship in the financial sector, essentially retooling me to succeed in that sector.

Merely graduating from a good business school like Rotman does not guarantee success in today’s competitive work environment. The people at Rotman understand that, and that’s why they provide their students opportunities in co-curricular activities, such as the option to join different clubs and research centres. During my time at Rotman, I intend to join the Rotman Finance Association to develop new skills in the field and enhance my network of industry contacts. I would also look forward to taking part in case of competitions to hone my leadership skills. In addition, it would be an incredible opportunity to use the BMO Finance Research and Trading Lab to deepen my understanding of the financial markets by learning to use analytical tools.

Rotman admits that only the top talent from all over the world from an incredibly diverse range of academic and professional backgrounds will provide me with a truly global experience, hence preparing me for success in any environment. Lastly, its strong and diverse alumni network is what I am excited to be a part of.

Every MBA program requires applicants to write a personal statement, also known as a statement of purpose.

The school provides instructions on what to include in your piece, and most business schools have something unique to ask for. 

The MBA personal statement allows you to tell the admissions committee (adcom) about yourself.  

It also gives you a chance to tell the business school about your personality, liking, ambitions, and whether your goals and vision align with the program. The essay helps the panel learn about you as a person.

These essays are essential to your application, allowing you to market yourself and prove your mettle to the admissions panel.  It is not just a mere listing of your experiences or your resume  but a more coherent way of telling them who you are and why you will be a worthy addition to their program. 

It allows the program to understand what you value the most. Of course, a stellar personal statement will not guarantee admission, but it is crucial to your application. 

Yes, every MBA program requires a personal statement. 

However, most MBA programs will instruct what and what not to include in your essay. Therefore, you need to make sure that you follow  the instructions  provided to you. 

Sometimes these essays have word limits; for example, some business schools require a personal statement of no more than 500 words, whereas some have no word limit. So, before writing yours, ensure you have read and understood the instructions clearly.

Business schools are very welcoming when it comes to guiding applicants. So, if you have any specific concerns regarding the essays or feel confused about anything, it is always a good idea to  contact the schools admissions office . Remember that you will be investing time and money in applying to these B-schools, so seek clarification when necessary.

Sometimes you may want to talk about certain things that you cannot fit coherently into your statement. In that case, nearly all MBA programs allow you to write such information in an  ‘Optional Essay’  or  ‘Additional Information  section of the application. 

You can write about extenuating circumstances such as  Low GPA , mediocre   GRE/GMAT scores , or highlight any other significant achievements that you could not include in your essays or elsewhere in your application. Don’t try to squeeze everything into your statement of purpose – instead, use the additional essay to talk about the other things.

What Makes a Good MBA Personal Statement?

A perfect MBA essay shares some common elements.

All good MBA essays accurately depict who you are – not what you think the admissions committee will like.  So be genuine and communicate that clearly to the reader.  

Admissions panellists read hundreds of applications every year, and they can tell when you are lying. Talk about things that concern you – setbacks, weaknesses, health issues, depression, etc. 

Avoid making excuses and face your demons. For example, if spirituality, the purpose of life, etc., have recently played a lot on your mind and have shaped your personality lately, then talk about it with enthusiasm. 

If you are looking forward to an MBA because of some discomfiting experiences in your current field and, as a result, you want to switch, be straight about it. 

However,  don’t talk about ambitions not supported by your background . For example, if someone tells you that MBA programs admire applicants with a lot of volunteer work,but you don’t have any, so better not make it up.

Every applicant has a different story from the rest. 

Tell that. 

You will often stumble upon some successful applicants’ essays, and you will be inspired by them so much that you would want to imitate the story. 

That’s a bad idea. Do some introspection and reflect on that in your essay. 

For example, tech MBA programs like Stanford and GA tech get many similar technology-based startup failure stories from applicants with no background in startups. The internet is full of such stories, and you will likely encounter one. Don’t let such cliched stories influence your thoughts.

Schools want  diversity . 

If your research tells you that a specific MBA program is big on admitting applicants from a management consulting background and your goal is e-commerce, don’t hesitate to discuss it. Likely, such a business school don’t hear many e-commerce stories, so if you write one, it will catch their attention.

Your goals matter a lot. The more specific they are, the better it is. 

While telling about your career goals, don’t deploy generalized statements such as “I want to join consulting.” 

Instead, say, “ I want to be a part of management consulting such as McKinsey or AT Kearney focusing on the public sector in Malaysia. ” 

The first will make your goals unclear; the second statement will somewhat narrow down your goals. 

Show the reader that you are aware of the industry you want to be in and make your application a lot more credible.

Every business school is different from another. 

Do a lot of research about the program you are applying to. 

Don’t just go through the MBA school’s website. Get in touch with the alumni or on Linkedin. Talk to them. 

If you know someone in your network which has been a part of this school, talk to them. Try to get the inside details and specificities from them. They will tell you things you won’t find on the school’s website. 

Join   social media groups, follow Reddit, and try to find out what other applicants won’t know as much as possible.  

Then put this in your application – use this inside information to show why you are a good fit. 

Show the admissions committee that you have gone the extra mile to know everything possible about the program.

Many MBA schools conduct  live online Q&A sessions  and informative  webinars  these days. Be an active part of those and ask questions there. Then, put the answers in your application. 

This will show your passion for joining them and help you tell them that you align well with your vision. 

For example, everyone knows about the Harvard case study methods – it’s all over their website. However, at Harvard, very few know about experiential learning (solving real-world problems).

Since most business schools share personal statement instructions, it is important not to stray from them. Moreover , the essays have word limits  – so be wise with your writing. 

Keep the essays professional, and don’t be too humorous. You don’t need to be bland, but remember that the MBA is a serious degree, and the admissions committee expects  maturity  and professionalism from the applicants. So be  professional  but at the same time, be  conversational .

Most people don’t know about a brag sheet and its importance.

Writing a personal statement for the MBA program is time-consuming and requires 80-100 hours.

Moreover, you must write and rewrite 10-15 drafts before seeing a satisfactory final version.

But before you start writing a personal statement, you must do some introspection – soul-searching. First, you need to recall and list all your major or minor achievements over the years. Then, take a deep dive into your professional and academic history.

You can use a brag sheet to identify and list everything you can bring to an MBA program.

A brag sheet is a sketch of your essay. Then, expand on your brag sheet to make a final version of your personal statement.

Don’t be shy to brag about yourself. Just don’t sound patronizing – firmly show off your differentiating achievements.

Here is a template that you can use to make a brag sheet and then use it to start building your statement.

PROFESSIONAL & ACADEMIC

• Describe an interesting work project.
• Have you ever been promoted at work? If so, elaborate on it.
• List all awards or honours you have received in college, at work, or otherwise.
• Have you done any public speaking ever?
• What are your computer skills?
• Have you ever started up a business – large or tiny?
• What are your short-term career goals (directly after graduating from business school)?
• Where do you see yourself in 10-20 years?
• Why do you want to earn an MBA?

EXTRA-CURRICULAR

• List  all  languages you know and note the degree of proficiency.
• Where have you travelled and lived? List continents, countries, and exciting cities.
• List all the places where you have worked voluntarily.
• List all of your interests and hobbies.
• List all extra-curricular involvement (major and minor) during college.
• Have you ever managed anyone at the office or in an extra-curricular setting?
• Have you published anything? 
• Do you have any patents?
• Do you participate in any sports? Have you run a marathon? Are you part of a basketball league?
• Describe a time you failed.
• What are your three most significant weaknesses?
• Describe all the defining moments in your personal life and at work. You can write about any experiences, books, meetings etc. that have changed the way you think or your path. 
• Discuss any hardships, personal or professional.
• Are you married? Do you have children?
• What are your favourite books?                                        
• What soft skills make you unique?
• What does your immediate family do, and where are they from? What is your cultural heritage? Does your family have any unique traditions?

In general, business schools are looking for creative intelligence, leadership, teamwork skills, vision/innovation, and a demonstrated record of success in their candidates. So, make sure to add anything related to these traits in your brag sheet. 

Your MBA Essay must be:

• A genuine narrative and your true reflection.
• A unique and different story.
• Try not to copy or be influenced by stories from other successful MBA essays.
• Stay within the boundaries of the essay topic and do not stray from that.
• Use compelling and robust language.
• Review several drafts before submitting the best one.

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• Business Management Personal Statement Examples

Applying to business management school? You will need a strong personal statement to support your university application. Use our business management personal statement examples as a guidance to write your own. Also, make sure to check other personal statement examples for more inspiration.

Business Management Personal Statement Example

The key to any successful business is good management. In order to adapt to the constant shifts of the global economy, businesses must apply methodical reasoning to people, processes, and technology. I have demonstrated a similarly flexible, adaptable approach to achieving my goals as a mature student with strong academic achievement in Administration and IT and extensive employment experience.

As soon as I graduated from school, I began working. However, as my desire to return to study grew, I combined my work experience with study to earn HNC and HND qualifications in Administration and IT. The IT component of this course has particularly intrigued me because of my interest in how technological processes impact business. It has also been fascinating to learn the theory behind the administrative and organizational practices I have implemented and observed throughout the years.

My experience as a news agent’s kid has given me hands-on experience in both financial and personnel management, including customer service, stock management, and liaising with suppliers. Having always been involved with business and management within the industry, it was perhaps not surprising when I decided to gain more experience in retail. In order to allow my passions for both the technological and financial aspects of these roles to flourish, I sought out experiences that allowed these passions to flourish. I used my expertise in providing excellent customer service while working as a Telephone Banking Advisor for Porta Wealth Management to counsel clients on the best services, weighing the benefits and drawbacks of various products in relation to their needs. Additionally, I was in charge of looking after databases, working on banking policies, and implementing rules set forth by the FSA. Moving between small, local firms and multinationals has allowed me to study the differences in administration and management, as well as how technology affects these.

As an ambitious student with a keen interest in business and management, I am constantly seeking out new ways to further my understanding and skill set. In my spare time, I delve into a diverse array of management techniques and put them into practice in both my personal and professional life, allowing me to achieve my goals and aspirations. One of the most prominent examples of this is my leadership experience as the Treasurer, and later the Chairperson, of my local Women’s Power Business Group. In this role, I have been actively involved in a variety of volunteer and fundraising initiatives, as well as organizing workshops to support isolated or vulnerable women and their children in my community. Not only has this role given me the fulfilment of making a difference, but it has also provided me with invaluable experience in implementing leadership, teamwork and administration skills in a real-world setting. I have also been able to infuse my other passions, such as my love for walking, by initiating annual sponsored events like a 5K walk for Breast Cancer Research. This unique blend of my interests and skills has allowed me to develop a well-rounded perspective and provided me with a valuable learning experience.

Having a natural inclination toward the management of people and processes as a persistent self-starter with a drive for improvement. As a result of consistently reflecting on myself in my studies and work, I have been able to identify areas for improvement and think critically about my own performance. In my undergraduate studies, I have not only honed this natural tendency but also gained knowledge on technology integration, which I believe will be crucial in the business world of the future. After graduation, I hope to utilize this knowledge and ability to make a significant impact. I’m determined to make a real impact in the business world, whether I start my own company or take on a key role within a larger organization.

Management Personal Statement Example

Being a very determined and studious individual academically, I knew a university degree was an obvious next step. In spite of my broad interests, I am drawn toward a law or business management degree. As far as Business is concerned, I chose it because of its complexity and intrigue. Management blends so seamlessly with everyday issues that I particularly enjoy. In taking the subject at A-Level, my interest has grown and matured, and I can view many businesses analytically and make suggestions regarding improvements. Law is an area which has interested me from an early age. I am an avid reader and believe that this habit is crucial when it comes to pursuing a career in law. I feel that my attributes make me an ideal candidate for the field as I possess a keen attention to detail and am intrigued by work that deals with contemporary social issues and the need to analyze and present evidence effectively. Additionally, I believe that the psychology coursework I have completed has helped me understand how people’s perspectives and recollections can be influenced by various factors. This type of work demands a certain level of self-assurance, which I am confident that I possess and can leverage to excel in the competitive sphere of law.

Throughout my career, I’ve had the opportunity to work in a diverse range of roles and environments, and this has helped me develop a broad range of skills. However, among all the experiences, I’ve had the privilege to work for Royal Worcester in the Debenhams store which I believe has been the most formative of all. Being a sales advisor in such a high-end company has taught me to have a self-assured demeanour, and I have also had to cultivate a good memory to be able to provide customers with accurate product knowledge.

Additionally, I was assigned the duty of training a new employee, demonstrating the great level of confidence my employers have in me.

From holding the role of form captain in secondary school to helping with the planning of large-scale festivities in college, my educational experiences have been quite useful to me. These kinds of responsibilities have enabled me to grow up and take my roles seriously, earning the respect of my coworkers. As English Prefect in Year 11, I was responsible for supporting the entire English department, which took up a significant amount of my time. I also had a piece I wrote against the mistreatment of women on French television published in the daily “Paris Local News” as a result of my interest in the French language. I was pleased to have my opinions represented.

I have always been passionate about languages and during secondary school, I took evening French classes. My dedication and hard work were recognized when I received the ‘The Best Student of the Year’ award for my outstanding performance. These classes required me to manage my time effectively, so my schoolwork did not suffer. Furthermore, being raised by German and French parents has helped me to achieve fluency in the language.

Aside from languages, sports and leisure activities have always been an interest of mine. In college, I used this passion to do charity work and raise money for ZBIN. One of my accomplishments includes raising £1050 and abseiling 120ft down London University. 

Additionally, I played netball for the local Netball Team and competed in the OGI UK Games for the Wembley Stallions AFC team. My performance was recognized with several trophies, as well as a gold and bronze medal in the long jump and javelin respectively.

How to write specific paragraphs of your statement:

I have always been fascinated by business and the way that companies and large organisations work. From my first steps, I have been an entrepreneur at heart, always finding ways to make a little extra money selling lemonade at the promenade or starting school projects. With my personal development, my interest in business has only intensified, and I have come to realise that business management is something I want to study at school. Read more in management personal statement examples .

I believe that a business management degree will open many doors for me and provide me with the flexibility to pursue a wide range of career paths. Whether I decide to start my own business or join an established company, I know that the skills and knowledge I gain will be invaluable. 

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How to Write a Personal Statement

A personal statement can be a key part of your college application, and you can really make yours shine by following a few tips.

When you're applying to college—either to an undergraduate or graduate program—you may be asked to submit a personal statement. It's an essay that gives you the chance to share more about who you are and why you'd like to attend the university you're applying to.  

The information you provide in your personal statement can help build on your other application materials, like your transcripts and letters of recommendation, and build a more cohesive picture to help the admissions committee understand your goals.

In this article, we'll go over more about personal statements, including why they're important, what to include in one, and tips for strengthening yours.

What is a personal statement?

A personal statement—sometimes known as a college essay —is a brief written essay you submit with other materials when applying to college or university. Personal statements tend to be most common for undergraduate applications, and they're a great opportunity for an admissions committee to hear your voice directly.

Many colleges and universities in the US, especially those using Common App , provide prompts for you to use. For example, "Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea" or "Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time" [ 1 ]. If the school you're interested in attending doesn't require prompts, you will likely want to craft a response that touches on your story, your values, and your goals if possible.

In grad school, personal statements are sometimes known as letters of intent , and go into more detail about your academic and professional background, while expressing interest in attending the particular program you're applying to.

Why is a personal statement important?

Personal statements are important for a number of reasons. Whereas other materials you submit in an application can address your academic abilities (like your transcripts) or how you perform as a student (like your letters of recommendation), a personal statement is a chance to do exactly that: get more personal.

Personal statements typically:

Permit you to share things that don't fit on your resume, such as personal stories, motivations, and values

Offer schools a chance to see why you're interested in a particular field of study and what you hope to accomplish after you graduate 

Provide an opportunity for you to talk about past employment, volunteer experiences, or skills you have that complement your studies 

Allow colleges to evaluate your writing skills 

Bring life to a college application package otherwise filled with facts and figures 

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How to write a personal statement.

As we mentioned earlier, you may have to respond to a prompt when drafting your personal statement—or a college or university may invite you to respond however you'd like. In either case, use the steps below to begin building your response.

Create a solid hook .

To capture the attention of an admissions committee member, start your personal statement with a hook that relates to the topic of your essay. A hook tends to be a colorful sentence or two at the very beginning that compels the reader to continue reading.

To create a captivating hook, try one of these methods:

Pose a rhetorical question. 

Provide an interesting statistic. 

Insert a quote from a well-known person.

Challenge the reader with a common misconception. 

Use an anecdote, which is a short story that can be true or imaginary. 

Credibility is crucial when writing a personal statement as part of your college application process. If you choose a statistic, quote, or misconception for your hook, make sure it comes from a reliable source.

Follow a narrative.

The best personal statements typically read like a story: they have a common theme, as well as a beginning, middle, and end. This type of format also helps keep your thoughts organized and improves the flow of your essay.

Common themes to consider for your personal statement include:

Special role models from your past

Life-altering events you've experienced

Unusual challenges you've faced

Accomplishments you're especially proud of

Service to others and why you enjoy it

What you've learned from traveling to a particular place

Unique ways you stand out from other candidates

Be specific.

Admissions committees read thousands of personal statements every year, which is why being specific on yours is important. Back up your statements with examples or anecdotes.

For instance, avoid vague assertions like, "I'm interested in your school counseling program because I care about children." Instead, point out experiences you've had with children that emphasize how much you care. For instance, you might mention your summer job as a day camp counselor or your volunteer experience mentoring younger children.

Don't forget to include detail and vibrancy to keep your statement interesting. The use of detail shows how your unique voice and experiences can add value to the college or university you're applying to.

Stay on topic.

It's natural to want to impress the members of the admissions committee who will read your personal statement. The best way to do this is to lead your readers through a cohesive, informative, and descriptive essay.

If you feel you might be going astray, ensure each paragraph in your essay's body supports your introduction. Here are a few more strategies that can help keep you on track:

Know what you want to say and do research if needed. 

Create an outline listing the key points you want to share.

Read your outline aloud to confirm it makes logical sense before proceeding. 

Read your essay aloud while you're writing to confirm you're staying on topic.

Ask a trusted friend or family member to read your essay and make suggestions.

Be true to your own voice.

Because of the importance of your personal statement, you could be tempted to be very formal with structure and language. However, using a more relaxed tone is better than you would for a classroom writing assignment. 

Remember: admissions committees really want to hear from you . Writing in your own voice will help accomplish this. To ensure your tone isn't too relaxed, write your statement as if you were speaking to an older relative or trusted teacher. This way, you'll come across as respectful, confident, and honest.

Tips for drafting an effective personal statement.

Now that you've learned a little about personal statements and how to craft them, here are a few more tips you can follow to strengthen your essay:

1. Customize your statement.

You don't have to completely rewrite your personal statement every time you apply to a new college, but you want to make sure you tailor it as much as possible. For instance, if you talk about wanting to take a certain class or study a certain subject, make sure you adjust any specifics for each application.

2. Avoid cliches.

Admissions committees are ultimately looking for students who will fit the school, and who the school can help guide toward their larger goals. In that case, cliches can get in the way of a reviewer understanding what it is you want from a college education. Watch out for cliches like "making a difference," "broadening my horizons," or "the best thing that ever happened to me."

3. Stay focused.

Try to avoid getting off-track or including tangents in your personal statement. Stay focused by writing a first draft and then re-reading what you've written. Does every paragraph flow from one point to the next? Are the ideas you're presenting cohesive?

4. Stick to topics that aren't controversial.

It's best not to discuss political beliefs or inappropriate topics in your essay. These can be controversial; ideally, you want to share something goals- or values-driven with an admissions committee.

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Article sources

1. Common App. " 2022-2023 Common App Essay Prompts , https://www.commonapp.org/blog/2022-2023-common-app-essay-prompts." Accessed January 9, 2024.

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CV personal statement examples

If you want to secure job interview, you need a strong personal statement at the top of your CV.

Your CV personal statement is a short paragraph which sits at the very top of your CV – and it’s aim is to summarise the benefits of hiring you and encourage employers to read your CV in full.

In this guide I have included 17 CV personal statement examples from a range of professions and experience levels, plus a detailed guide of how to write your own personal statement that will get you noticed by employers

CV templates 

17 CV personal statement examples

To start this guide, I have included 10 examples of good personal statements, to give you an idea of how a personal statement should look , and what should be included.

Note: personal statements are generally used by junior candidates – if you are experienced, check out our CV profile examples instead.

Graduate CV personal statement (no experience)

Although this  graduate has no paid work experience, they compensate for it by showcasing all of the skills and knowledge the have gained during their studies, and demonstrating how they apply their knowledge in academic and personal projects.

When you have little or no experience, it’s important to draw out transferable workplace skills from your studies and extracurricular work, to showcase them to employers.

Graduate CV personal statement (part time freelance experience)

This candidate has graduated with a degree in biochemistry but actually wants to start a career in digital marketing after providing some digital freelance services to fund their studies.

In this case, they haven’t made much mention of their studies because they aren’t relevant to the digital marketing agencies they are applying to. Instead they have focused their personal statement around their freelance work and passion for the digital field – although they still mention the fact they are degree educated to prove their academic success.

School leaver CV personal statement (no experience)

This candidate is 16 years old and has no work experience whatsoever, but they compensate for this by detailing their academic achievements that relate to the roles they are applying for (maths and literacy are important requirements in finance and accountancy roles).

They also add some info on their extracurricular activities and school work-placements, to strengthen this student CV further.

    Top tips for writing a CV personal statement

• Thoroughly research the jobs and companies you are planning to apply for to identify the type of candidate they are looking for – try to reflect that in your personal statement
• Don’t be afraid to brag a little – include some of your most impressive achievements from education, work or personal life
• Focus on describing the benefits an employer will get from hiring you. Will you help them to get more customers? Improve their workplace? Save them time and money?
• If you have no work experience, demonstrate transferable workplace skills from your education, projects, or even hobbies

School leaver CV personal statement (part time experience)

Although this person has only just left school, they have also undertaken some part-time work in a call centre alongside their studies.

To make the most of this experience, they have combined their academic achievements with their workplace exposure in this personal statement.

By highlighting their GCSE results, summer programme involvement, work experience and expressing their ambitions to progress within sales, this candidate really makes an appealing case for hiring them.

College leaver CV personal statement (no experience)

This candidate has left college with good grades, but does not yet have any work experience.

To compensate for the lack of workplace exposure, they have made their A level results prominent and highlighted skills and experience which would benefit the employers they are targeting.

Any recruiter reading this profile can quickly understand that this candidate has great academic achievements, a passion for IT and finance and the ability to transfer their skills into an office environment.

College student CV personal statement (freelance experience)

As this student has picked up a small amount of freelance writing work during their studies, they have made sure to brag about it in their personal statement.

They give details on their relevant A level studies to show the skills they are learning, and boost this further by highlighting the fact that they have been applying these skills in a real-life work setting by providing freelance services.

They also include key action verbs that recruiters will be looking for , such as creative writing, working to deadlines, and producing copy.

Academic CV personal statement

Aside from junior candidates, the only other people who might use a personal statement, are academic professionals; as their CV’s tend to be more longer and detailed than other professions.

This candidate provides a high level overview of their field of study, length of experience, and the roles they have held within universities.

School leaver CV personal statement with and sports experience

Although this person has no work experience, they are still able to show employers the value of hiring them by selling their other achievements and explaining how they could benefit an organisation.

They expand on their sports club involvement to demonstrate their teamwork, leadership skills, communication and motivation, which are all important traits in the workplace, and will be looked upon favourably by recruiters and hiring managers.

They also draw upon their future plans to study business studies and take a part time job, to further prove their ambition and dedication.

History graduate CV personal statement

This history graduate proves their aptitude for both academic achievement and workplace aptitude by showcasing valuable skills from their degree and voluntary work.

They do this by breaking down the key requirements for each and showing how their skills could be beneficial for future employers, such as listening, communication, and crisis management.

They also describe how their ability to balance studies alongside voluntary work has not only boosted their knowledge and skills, but also given excellent time management and organisational skills – which are vital assets to any employer.

Law graduate CV personal statement

This legal graduate makes the most from their work university work placements by using it to bulk out the contents of their CV personal statement.

They include their degree to show they have the necessary qualifications for legal roles, which is crucial, but more importantly, they showcase how they applied their legal skills within a real-life work setting.

They give a brief overview of the types of legal professionals they have been working alongside and the type of work they have been carrying out – this is all it takes to get the attention of recruiters and show employers they have what it takes to fulfil roles in the legal sector.

Medical student CV personal statement

This medical student proves their fit for the role by showcasing the key skills they have gained from their studies and their work experience placements.

In just these few sentences, they are able to highlight the vast amount of experience they have across different disciplines in the industry, something which is particularly important in the medical sector.

As they have not graduated yet and are still studying, they have provided proof of their most recent grades. This can give the recruiter some indication as to the type of grade they could be graduating with in the near future.

Masters student CV personal statement

This masters student has started by specifying their area of study, in this case, accounting, and given details about the specific areas of finance they are most interested in. This can hint towards their career goals and passions.

They have then carefully listed some of the key areas of accounting and finance that they are proficient in. For example, business finance, advanced corporate finance and statistics.

They have also outlined some of the transferable skills needed for accounting roles that employers will be looking out for, such as communication, attention to detail and analytical skills.

Finance student CV personal statement

As this finance student has recently undertaken some relevant work experience, they’ve made sure to shout about this in their personal profile.

But more than this, they have included a list of some of the important finance skills they gained as a result of this work experience – for example, financial reporting, processing invoices and month-end reconciliations.

Plus, through power words and phrases such as ‘prevent loss’ and ‘ improve upon accuracy and efficiency’, they have also showcased how they can apply these skills in a workplace setting to benefit the potential employer.

Internship  CV personal statement

This digital marketing professional has started their personal profile by outlining their most relevant qualifications and work experience, most notably their freelance role as a content manager.

They have also provided examples of some of the key marketing skills that potential employers might be looking for, including very detailed examples of the platforms and tools they are proficient in – for example, LinkedIn, Twitter and Pinterest.

They have then closed their statement by giving a detailed description of the type of role or opportunity they are looking for. In this case, an in-house position in a marketing company.

Graduate career changer personal statement

Switching careers as a graduate can be tough. Especially when it comes to writing a personal statement that will attract employers in your new chosen field.

This candidate is looking to move from history teaching into journalism, so they have created a statement which briefly mentions their current workplace, but mainly focuses on highlighting transferable skills which are relevant to journalism. They achieve this by discussing the writing skills they use in their current role, and mentioning their hobby of writing – including some publications they have been featured in for extra brownie points.

Business management graduate personal statement

This business management proves their ability to work within a junior business management position by swiftly highlighting their impressive degree (to ensure it is not missed) and summarising some of the real-life experience they have gained in management during their university placements and volunteering. They do not let their lack of paid work experience, stop them demonstrating their valuable skills.

PhD graduate

PhD graduate roles attract a lot of competition, so it’s important that your CV contains a personal statement that will quickly impress and attract recruiters.

This candidate provides a short-but-comprehensive overview of their academic achievements, whilst demonstrating their exceptional level of knowledge in research, languages and publication writing.

By highlighting a number of skills and abilities that are in high-demand in the academic workplace, this CV is very likely to get noticed and land interviews.

How to write a personal statement for your CV

Now that you’ve seen what a personal statement should look like and the type of content it should contain, follow this detailed guide to one for your own CV – and start racking those interviews up.

Guide contents

What is a CV personal statement?

Cv personal statement or cv profile, personal statement format, what to include in a cv personal statement.

• Personal statement mistakes

How to write persuasively

A personal statement is a short paragraph at the top of your CV which gives employers an overview of your education, skills and experience

It’s purpose is to capture the attention of busy recruiters and hiring managers when your CV is first opened – encouraging them to read the rest of it.

You achieve this by writing a tailored summary of yourself that explains your suitability for the roles you are applying for at a very high level, and matches your target job descriptions .

One question candidates often ask me is , “what is the difference between a personal statement and a CV profile?”

To be honest, they are almost the same – they are both introductory paragraphs that sit at the top of your CV… but there are 2 main differences

A personal statement tends to be used more by junior candidates (graduates, school leavers etc.) and is relatively long and detailed.

A CV profile tends to be favoured by more experienced candidates , and is shorter in length than a personal statement.

Note: If you are an experienced candidate, you may want to switch over to my CV profile writing guide , or example CV profiles page.

To ensure you grab recruiters’ attention with your personal statement, lay it out in the following way.

Positioning

You need to ensure that your personal statement sits at the very top of your CV, and all of it should be totally visible to readers, without the need to scroll down the page.

Do this by reducing the top page margin and minimising the space taken up by your contact details.

This will ensure that your whole personal statement can be seen, as soon as your CV is opened.

We have a Word CV template which can help you to get this right.

Size/length

Your personal statement needs to contain enough detail to provide an introduction to your skills and knowledge, but not so much detail that it bores readers.

To strike the right balance, anything between 8-15 lines of text is perfect – and sentences should be sharp and to-the-point.

As with the whole of your CV or resume , your personal statement should be written in a simple clean font at around size 10-12 to ensure that it can be read easily by all recruiters and employers.

Keep the text colour simple , ensuring that it contrasts the background (black on white is best) and break it into 2 or even 3 paragraphs for a pleasant reading experience.

It should also be written in a punchy persuasive tone, to help you sell yourself and increase your chances of landing interviews , I cover how to do this in detail further down the guide.

Quick tip: A poorly written CV will fail to impress recruiters and employers. Use our quick-and-easy CV Builder to create a winning CV in minutes with professional CV templates and pre-written content for every industry.

Once you have the style and format of your personal statement perfected, you need to fill it with compelling content that tells recruiters that your CV is worth reading.

Here’s what needs to go into your personal statement…

Before you start writing your personal statement, it’s crucial that you research your target roles to find out exactly what your new potential employers are looking for in a candidate.

Run a search for your target jobs on one of the major job websites , look through plenty of adverts and make a list of the candidate requirements that frequently appear.

This research will show you exactly what to include in your personal statement in order to impress the recruiters who will be reading it.

Education and qualifications are an important aspect of your personal statement, especially if you are a junior candidate.

You should highlight your highest and most relevant qualifications, whether that is a degree, A levels or GCSEs. You could potentially go into some more detail around modules, papers etc. if they are relevant to the roles you are applying for.

It’s important that you discuss the experience you have gained in your personal statement, to give readers an idea of the work you are comfortable undertaking.

This can of course be direct employed work experience, but it doesn’t have to be.

You can also include:

• School/college Uni work placements
• Voluntary work
• Personal projects
• Hobbies/interests

As with all aspects of your CV , the content should be tailored to match the requirements of your target roles.

Whilst discussing your experience, you should touch upon skills used, industries worked in, types of companies worked for, and people you have worked with.

Where possible, try to show the impact your actions have made. E.g . A customer service agent helps to make sales for their employer.

Any industry-specific knowledge you have that will be useful to your new potential employers should be made prominent within your personal statement.

For example

• Knowledge of financial regulations will be important for accountancy roles
• Knowledge of IT operating systems will be important for IT roles
• Knowledge of the national curriculum will be important for teachers

You should also include some information about the types of roles you are applying for, and why you are doing so. Try to show your interest and passion for the field you are hoping to enter, because employers want to hire people who have genuine motivation and drive in their work.

This is especially true if you don’t have much work experience, as you need something else to compensate for it.

CV personal statement mistakes

The things that you omit from your personal statement can be just as important as the things you include.

Try to keep the following out of your personal statement..

Irrelevant info

Any information that doesn’t fall into the requirements of your target roles can be cut out of your personal statement. For example, if you were a professional athlete 6 years ago, that’s great – but it won’t be relevant if you’re applying to advertising internships, so leave it out.

Generic clichés

If you are describing yourself as a “ dynamic team player with high levels of motivation and enthusiasm” you aren’t doing yourself any favours.

These cliché terms are vastly overused and don’t provide readers with any factual details about you – so keep them to a minimum.

Stick to solid facts like education, skills , experience, achievements and knowledge.

If you really want to ensure that your personal statement makes a big impact, you need to write in a persuasive manner.

So, how do you so this?

Well, you need to brag a little – but not too much

It’s about selling yourself and appearing confident, without overstepping the mark and appearing arrogant.

For example, instead of writing.

“Marketing graduate with an interest in entering the digital field”

Be creative and excite the reader by livening the sentence up like this,

“Marketing graduate with highest exam results in class and a passion for embarking on a long and successful career within digital”

The second sentence is a much more interesting, makes the candidate appear more confident, throws in some achievements, and shows off a wider range of writing skills.

Quick tip: A poorly written CV will fail to impress recruiters and employers. Use our quick-and-easy CV Builder to create a winning CV in minutes with professional templates and pre-written content for every industry.

Your own personal statement will be totally unique to yourself, but by using the above guidelines you will be able to create one which shows recruiters everything they need.

Remember to keep the length between 10-20 lines and only include the most relevant information for your target roles.

You can also check our school leaver CV example , our best CV templates , or our library of example CVs from all industries.

Good luck with the job hunt!

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Last updated March 5, 2024

Every piece we write is researched and vetted by a former admissions officer. Read about our mission to pull back the admissions curtain.

Blog > Common App , Essay Examples , Personal Statement > 15 Amazing Personal Statement Examples (2024 Update)

15 Amazing Personal Statement Examples (2024 Update)

Admissions officer reviewed by Ben Bousquet, M.Ed Former Vanderbilt University

Written by Kylie Kistner, MA Former Willamette University Admissions

Key Takeaway

What’s that old saying? “The best way to learn is by doing.” Well, we believe that, in personal statements and in life, cliches like this should be avoided. For some people, the best way to start writing a personal statement is indeed just to start.

But for most writers, jumping right into the writing process is a daunting task. If you’ve never written a personal statement before, then how do you know where to begin?

That’s where example essays come in. There are millions of opinions in the college admissions world about whether or not students should read example essays. But here’s ours:

You absolutely should be reading example personal statements.

Let’s get into it.

Why you should read example personal statements

Reading example personal statements helps you understand why they work (or don’t work) in the admissions process.

Now, the point of reading them isn’t to copy them. It’s not even necessarily to be inspired by them.

Instead, the point of reading examples is to know what personal statements look like. Think about it: if you’d never seen a children’s book before, would you know how to write one? Probably not! Same goes for personal statements.

In this post, we show you some exceptional, solid, and need-to-be-improved personal statements.

And to help you understand how these essays function as personal statements, we’ve also gotten our team of former admissions officers to grade and provide feedback on each.

What does an admissions officer look for in a personal statement?

Before we get to the essays, let’s briefly walk through what goes through an admissions officer’s head when they open an application.

Admissions officers (AOs) read hundreds to thousands of applications in a single year. Different institutions require admissions officers to use different criteria when evaluating applications, so the specifics will vary by school. Your entire application should cohere to form a seamless narrative . You'll be crafting that narrative across the following categories:

• Transcripts and course rigor : AOs look at the classes you’ve taken to assess how much you’ve challenged yourself based on the classes your school offers. They’re also looking at how well you've done in these classes each term.
• Extracurricular activities : When reading through your activities list, AOs look at the activities you’ve done, how many years you’ve participated in them, and how many hours a week you devote to them. They’re assessing your activities for the levels of magnitude, impact, and reach that they demonstrate. (Want to know more about these terms? Check out our extracurricular impact post .)
• Background information : This background information briefly tells admissions officers about demographic and family information, your school context, and any honors or awards you’ve received.
• Letters of recommendation : Letters of recommendation give AOs insight into who you are in the classroom.
• Essays : And, finally, the essays. Whether you’re writing a personal statement or a supplemental essay , essays are the main place AOs get to hear your voice and learn more about you. Your personal statement in particular is the place where you get to lay out your overall application narrative and say something meaningful about your personal strengths.

So, with all that in mind, what does an admissions officer actually look for when reading your personal statement?

A few traits tend to surface across the best personal statements, no matter the topic or format. There are four primary areas you should focus on as you craft your personal statement.

• Strengths : AOs want to know about your strengths. That doesn’t mean bragging about your accomplishments, but it does mean writing about a topic that lets you showcase something positive about yourself.
• Personal meaning : Personal statements shouldn’t be fluff. They shouldn’t be history essays. They should be personal essays that ooze meaning. The topic you choose should show something significant about yourself that the admissions officers won’t get from any other part of your application.
• Authenticity and vulnerability : These characteristics can be the most difficult to achieve. Being “vulnerable” doesn’t mean airing all your dirty laundry. It means revealing something authentic and meaningful about who you are. To be vulnerable means to go beyond the surface level to put yourself out there, even to admissions officers who you’ve never met.
• Clear organization and writing : And lastly, admissions officers also want your essay to be organized clearly so it’s easy to follow along. Remember that admissions officers are reading lots of applications, even in one sitting. So you want to make your reader’s job as easy as possible. Thoughtful and skillful writing can also help take your personal statement to the next level.

If you want to know more about how to incorporate these traits into your own essay, we have a whole guide about how to write the perfect personal statement .

But for now, let’s get into the examples.

We’ve broken up the example personal statements into three categories: best personal statement examples, good personal statement examples, and “bad” personal statement examples. These categories show you that there is a spectrum of what personal statements can look like. The best examples are the gold standard. They meet or exceed all four of the main criteria admissions officers are looking for. The good examples are just that: good. They’re solid examples that may be lacking in a specific area but are still effective personal statements. The “bad” examples are those that don’t yet stack up to the expectations of a personal statement. They’re not objectively bad, but they need some specific improvements to align with what admissions officers are looking for.

Here we go!

The Best Personal Statement Examples

Writing an exceptional personal statement takes a lot of time and effort. Even the best writers can find the genre challenging. But when you strike the perfect chord and get it right, it’s almost like magic. Your essay jumps off the page and captures an admissions officer’s attention. They feel like you’re right there with them, telling them everything they need to know to vote “yes” on your admission.

The following essays are some of our favorites. They cover a range of topics, styles, and student backgrounds. But they all tell meaningful stories about the writers’ lives. They are well-organized, use vivid language, and speak to the writers’ strengths.

For each essay, our team of former admissions officers have offered comments about what makes the essay exceptional. Take a look through the annotations and feedback to see what lessons you can apply to your own personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #1: Thankful

My family has always been broke. Saturday mornings and Thursday evenings, always the same drill: the kids (my brothers and me) would be loaded in the car with my parents and off we’d all go to the food pantry. New clothes were few and far between, and going on vacation was something that we could only dream of. Despite our financial struggles, one year, my parents decided to surprise us with a trip to Disney Land. It was a complete shock to me and my siblings. We were over the moon. In fact, the screams of excitement that emanated from my younger brother’s mouth still ring in my ears.

But as the trip drew close, my excitement tempered and I began to worry. Being poor when you’re young doesn’t just affect you materially. It also affects how you see the world and loads you up with a whole range of anxieties that, in an ideal world, no child should have to face. How were my parents going to afford this, I wondered? Would an expense like this push us over the brink?(( The beginning of this essay, and especially this sentence, show the writer’s empathy. They are not selfish; they understand their broader family context and take that into consideration.)) I didn't want to ruin the surprise by asking, but I couldn't shake the feeling of dread building inside of me.

The day of our trip arrived and we set off for the airport. In the car, my dad made an off-the-cuff comment about a new video game that he’d wanted to play but didn’t buy, and everything clicked—my parents had made the trip possible by saving for months, cutting back on expenses and sacrificing their own comforts to make the trip happen.

As we boarded the plane, I was filled with a mix of emotions. I was grateful beyond words for my parents' sacrifice, but I was also overwhelmed by the guilt of knowing that they had given up so much for us. I didn't know how to express my gratitude; when we deplaned in LAX, I gave my mom and dad a rib-crushing hug.

The trip itself was everything that I had dreamed of and more. We spent four magical days at Disney Land(( Nice use of vivid details here. The reader can picture the sights and smells of Disney—and the ensuing hunger when passing a churro stand.)) , speed running the roller coasters and campy boat rides from the 70s. Sure, we packed our own food and walked right by the churro stands with a hungry look in our eyes. But I will never forget the feeling of unmitigated joy that my family shared on that trip, the smiles that painted my parents’ faces.

But the trip itself was nothing compared to the gratitude I felt for my parents(( Here, the writer transitions to reintroducing the theme of gratitude.)) . They had given us the gift of a lifetime, and I knew that I would never be able to repay them for their sacrifice.

In the years since that trip, I have carried that feeling of gratitude with me. It has motivated me to work hard and to always strive to be the best person that I can be. I want to make my parents proud and to show them that their sacrifice was worth it(( Finally, the writer sums things up with an eye to the future. It’s helpful for an admission officer to picture what the essay’s lessons might mean for the student as a future community member.)) .

I will never be able to fully express my gratitude for what my parents did for us, but I will always remember their selflessness and their willingness to put their own needs aside for the sake of our happiness. It was a truly surprising and incredible act of love, and one that I will always be thankful for.

AO Notes on Thankful

This essay accomplishes a few things even though it essentially tells one story and offers a quick reflection. It gives some important context regarding the challenges of being from a lower-income family. It does that in a way that is authentic, rather than problem-focused. It also shows that the writer is empathetic, family-oriented, and reflective.

Why this essay stands out:

• Vulnerability : This essay is upfront about a challenging topic: financial insecurity. While you don’t have to tell your most difficult challenge in an essay, this writer chose to write about a circumstance that gives additional context that may be helpful as admissions considers their application.
• Personal : The writer gets into some family dynamics and paints a picture of how their family treats and takes care of each other.
• Values: We clearly see some values the writer has and that they don’t take their parents’ sacrifices for granted. As an admission officer, I can picture this student using their education to give back—to their family or to others.

Personal Statement Example #2: Pickleball

I’ve always been one to have a good attitude no matter the circumstances. Except when it comes to exercise. From dodgeball in PE class to family Turkey Trots, I’m always the first one out and the last one across the finish line. These realities aren’t from a lack of skill—I’m actually quite coordinated and fast. They are from a lack of effort(( This is a quick hit of… either humor or vulnerability. I chuckled at the blunt honesty, and am intrigued to learn more.)) . Despite my best intentions, I can never get myself to care about sports or competitions. So when my dad first asked me to be his pickleball partner last summer, I did nothing but laugh.

But soon, I realized that he was serious. My dad started playing pickleball two years ago as a fun way to exercise. He’d become a star in our city’s recreation league, and I always enjoyed cheering him on from the sidelines. When his doubles partner got relocated for work, my dad decided that the disruption was a good opportunity for us bond through pickleball. Even though I was mortified by the thought of running back and forth to hit a bouncing ball, I reluctantly agreed.

The next Saturday morning, we went to the court for our first practice. I was wearing sweatpants, an old sweatshirt, and a grimace. My dad showed me how to hold the paddle, serve, and return the ball to our opponents. He told me about staying out of the kitchen—an endearing pickleball term that references the “kitchen,” or the middle part of the court—trying to make me laugh. Instead, I sighed impatiently and walked to my end of the court, ready to get it over with.

My dad remained patient in spite of my bad attitude. He gently served me the ball, and I gave a lackluster attempt to return it. The ball bounced into the net. I hadn’t even made it to his side of the court. Trying his best to encourage me, my dad gave me the ball so I could serve it to him instead. I tossed the ball up and hit it underhand toward my dad. It hit the net again. I tried again and again, each attempt with less care than the last. I grew frustrated and threw my paddle down in anger(( Okay, this paragraph gives a good dose of openness to the emotions of the writer. They’ve served up an opportunity to learn a lesson soon…)) .

After seeing my mini-meltdown, my dad crossed the kitchen to talk to me. During our conversation, I began to ask myself why I got so frustrated when I wasn’t trying very hard in the first place. I thought pickleball was a miserable sport, but I realized that it wasn’t pickleball that I cared about. I cared about my dad. I wanted to make him proud(( Ah, and there it is! A realization. As the admission officer I’m thinking, “Go on…”)) . Playing pickleball with him was the least I could do to thank him for everything he’d done for me. I dusted off my bad attitude alongside my paddle, and I got up to try another serve.

That serve hit the net again. But more determined now, I kept trying until my serves went over the net and through my dad’s weak side. I couldn’t believe it. My attitude adjustment helped me see the game for what it was: a game. It wasn’t supposed to be agonizing or cruel. It was supposed to be fun.

I learned that my attitude towards sports was unacceptable. This experience taught me that it’s okay to have preferences about what you enjoy, but it’s important to always maintain a positive attitude(( And the lesson learned! )) . You may just enjoy it after all.

Now my dad and I are both stars in our recreation league. Soon, we will make our way to our league’s semi-finals. We’ve worked our way through the bracket and are close to the championship. What I appreciate more about this experience, however, is how close it’s brought my dad and I together. His patience, positivity, and persistence have and will always inspire me. I want to be more like him every day, especially on the pickleball court.

AO Notes on Pickleball

This is a strong “attitude adjustment” essay, a bit of a remix of a challenge essay. The challenge, in this case, was a fixed mindset about sports that needed to be adjusted. The writer takes us on a witty journey through their own attitude towards organized athletic activities and their father.

• Self-aware : Similar to the vulnerability of other essays, this writer is willing to criticize themselves by recognizing that they need an attitude adjustment. Even before they changed their attitude, we get the sense that they are at least aware of their own lack of effort.
• Strong conclusion : We see a nice lesson at the end that relates both to having an open mind and caring for others. They even make a point about simply enjoying things because they are fun.
• Life lesson : Beyond the stated lesson, as an admission officer with a few more years on this Earth than the writer, I can tell this lesson will apply beyond sports. In fact, I can easily picture this student trying a new class, club, or group of friends in college because they are now more open to novel experiences.

Personal Statement Example #3: The Bird Watcher

I’m an avid walker and bird watcher(( Okay, the writer gets right into it! I think this simple introduction of the topic works well because they are writing about a less common hobby among teenagers. If they had said “I am an avid baseball player”, I would have been less eager to learn more.)) . Growing up, I’d clear my head by walking along the trail in the woods behind my house. By the time I was immersed in the chaos of high school, these walks became an afternoon routine. Now, every day at three o’clock, I don my jacket and hiking shoes and set off. As I walk, I note the flora and fauna around me. The wind whispering through the trees, the quiet rustling of a chipmunk underfoot, and the high-pitched call of robins perched atop branches, all of it brings me back to life after a difficult day.

And recently, the days have been more difficult than not. My grandparents passing, parents divorcing, and doctor diagnosing me with ADHD have presented me with more challenges than I’ve ever experienced before. But no matter what’s going on in my life, the wildlife on my walks brings me peace. As an aspiring ornithologist, the birds are my favorite(( This paragraph accomplishes a lot: a montage of difficult circumstances, context for their application, and declares their future career.)) .

I became interested in ornithology during long childhood afternoons spent at my grandparents’ house. They would watch me while my parents finished up work. I’d listen to the old bird clock that hung on the wall in the kitchen. Each number on the clock corresponded with a different bird. Every hour, the clock would chirp rather than chime. When the cardinal sang, I knew my parents would be arriving soon. Those chirps are all seared into my memory.

Twelve o’clock: robin. The short, fast, almost laugh-like sound of the robin always makes me hungry. All those Saturday afternoons filled with laughter and good food have resulted in a Pavlovian response. I’d cook meatballs with my grandma, splashing sauce on her floral wall paper. We’d laugh and laugh and enjoy the meal together at her plastic-covered kitchen table. This wasn’t my home, but I felt at home just the same.

Three o’clock: blue jay. It’d chime as soon as we walked in the door after school. The blue jay was my grandpa’s favorite. It was also mine. Why he loved it, I’m not completely sure. But it was my favorite because it marked the beginning of the best parts of my day. Symbolizing strength and confidence, blue jays always remind me of my grandpa.

Six o’clock: cardinal. The sharp whistle and staccato of the cardinal indicated that it was almost time for me to leave. Like the whistle of a closing shift, I’d hear it and start to pack my things. The cardinal has always been my least favorite.

Nine o’clock: house finch. The high, sweet, almost inquisitive call of the house finch was the one my grandma loved most. It was also the one I rarely heard. Either too early or too late in the day, the house finch was reserved for the occasional weekends when I’d spend the night at their house. My grandma would explain that finches symbolize harmony and peace. They are petite but mighty, just like she was(( This is a clever and sweet way of describing summer days with grandparents, while sprinkling in some vivid details to bring the story to life.)) .

This past weekend was the anniversary of my grandpa’s passing. Longing for my grandparents, I went for a walk. Winter is approaching, so the sky was darkening quickly. I walked slowly. As the sun set, I heard the tell-tale squawk of a blue jay, loud and piercing through the chill of the wind. I looked around and saw it sitting on an old stump, a small house finch behind it. I extracted my binoculars from my backpack, hoping to get a better glimpse through the dark. I turned the dial to focus the lenses, just as the birds flew away together. I took a deep breath, binoculars in hand, and continued on, spotting a robin in the distance(( The ending stylistically wraps the essay up without tying a bow on it. It’s a more artful way of concluding, and it works well here.)) .

AO Notes on Birdwatcher

This first two paragraphs are well-written and fairly to-the-point in their language. They do a nice job of setting the scene, but the third paragraph transitions into the writer’s distinctive voice. They detail the birds on the clock to chronicle the hours of their summer days and end, not without concluding, but leaving the reader wanting to read more of their stories.

• Voice: The writer transitions to writing in their own distinct voice, which comes to a crescendo in the final paragraph.
• Interesting approach: Sometimes students use an approach to tell a story that feels overly forced or cliche. This one feels organic and relates nicely to the writer, their family, and the story as a whole.
• Career path : This is far from a “What I want to be when I grow up” essay, but it clearly shows an academic interest grounded in family and childhood memories. This is an artistic and beautiful approach to showing admissions how the writer may use their college education.

Personal Statement Example #4: Chekov’s Wig

At the age of six, I starred in an at-home, one-woman production of Annie. My family watched as I switched between a wig I’d fashioned from maroon yarn, a dog’s tail leftover from Halloween, and a tie I’d stolen from my dad.

When the reveal came that Annie’s parents had actually passed away, I took a creative liberty: they had left Annie a small unicorn farm. The rest of the play proceeded as normal. When the curtain closed, I bowed to the sound of my family’s applause. But one set of hands was missing: my grandmother’s. Instead she sat, arms raised, and jokingly exclaimed, “But what about the unicorns?”(( Wow, an interesting intro! We see creativity and a silly side to the writer. As the admission officer, I’m eager to see where this leads.))

My grandma, an avid thespian, taught me a lot about life. But one of the most important lessons followed this production of Annie . After we laughed about her remark, she introduced me to the concept of Chekov’s gun. For Anton Chekov, brilliant playwright, the theory goes something like this: a writer shouldn’t write about a loaded gun if it’s not going to be fired. In other words, writers shouldn’t include details about something if it won’t serve a purpose in the story later. My unicorn farm had committed this writing faux pas egregiously.

I’m not a natural writer, and I have no goal to become one, but I’ve taken this concept of Chekov’s gun to heart—it forms the foundation of my life philosophy. I don’t believe that everything was meant to be(( This philosophical reflection is a nice introduction to the paragraphs that follow. )) . In fact, I think that sometimes bad things just happen. But I believe that these details will always play a part in our larger story.

The first test of my Chekov’s gun philosophy occurred shortly after Annie when my grandma, my biggest supporter, passed away. My family tried to console me saying that “it was her time to go,” but I disagreed. I couldn’t see how a death could be destined. Instead, I found comfort knowing that her presence, her support, and her death wasn’t for nothing. Like Chekov’s gun, I wasn’t quite sure how or why, but I knew that she would return for me.

As I grew older, my philosophy was tested time and again. Most recently, I fell back on Chekov’s gun as I coped with my parents’ divorce and my subsequent move to a new town. Both events shattered my world. My happy family theatre productions turned into custody hearings and overnight bags. The community I’d found at my old school became a sea of unfamiliar faces at my new one. None of this was meant to be. But as the writer of my own life, I won’t let the details become inconsequential.

I’ve used these events as plot points in my high school experience. Dealing with my parents’ divorce has taught me how to make the best of what’s given to me. I got the chance to decorate two bedrooms, live in both the suburbs and the city, and even have twice the amount of pets. And without the inciting incident of the divorce and move(( We see that the writer is able to make lemonade out of lemons here.)) , I never would have joined a new drama club or landed leading roles in Mama Mia and Twelfth Night. The divorce and move, like Chekov’s gun, have been crucial details in getting me where I’m at today.

I know that Chekov’s gun is more about the details in a story, but this philosophy empowers me to take what happens, the good and the bad, as part of my personal character development. Nothing would be happening if it weren’t important.

This summer, as we cleaned our garage in preparation for yet another move, I found my old Annie wig, yarn tangled from the box. Next to the wig was a note, handwritten in a script I’d recognize anywhere. My darling star, it read. You are going to go on to do great things. Love, Grandma ((And a sweet, or bittersweet, conclusion.)) .

AO Notes on Chekov’s Wig

This essay tells a beautiful story about a foundational philosophy in this young writer’s life. As their admission officer, I can see how grounded and positive they are. I can also imagine them taking this lesson to college: really paying attention to life, reflecting on the past, and understanding the value of even the smallest instances. There is an inherent maturity in this essay.

• Creativity: From the first few sentences, we can see that this student is now, and was as a child, creative. An original thinker.
• Reflective: When challenged by their grandmother, the writer didn’t insist that their way was correct. They took the criticism in stride and absorbed it as a salient life lesson. This shows open-mindedness and an uncommon level of maturity.
• Silver linings: It’s clear that this young writer has had some familial challenges that are likely familiar to some of you. They don’t gloss over them, but instead they learn from them. From having more pets to starring in the school musicals, there are lessons to glean from even life’s more difficult challenges.

Personal Statement Example #5: An Afternoon with Grandmother

The Buddhist temple on the hillside above my home has always possessed a deep power for me. With its towering spires and intricate carvings thousands of years old, it is a place of peace and serenity(( This writer opens with some wonderful imagery. I like how the imagery mirrors the meaning.)) —somewhere I can go to escape the chaos of the world and connect with myself and with my sense of spirituality. When my grandmother called me one January to let me know that she would be coming to visit, I smiled, my mind darting immediately to the temple and to the visit of it we would take together.

My relationship with my grandmother is a special one. After my parents passed away, she and my grandfather raised me for three years before I moved in with my father’s sister. In that time, she was my sole companion; she shared her recipes with me, told me stories, and most importantly, she taught me everything I know about spirituality. We spent countless nights staying up past bed-time, talking about the teachings of the Buddha, and she encouraged me gently to explore my own path to enlightenment(( This topic is accomplishing a lot: we see the writer’s relationship with their grandmother, their personal values, and their ideas about who they want to be in the future.)) .

When my grandmother finally arrived, I felt bathed in a warm glow. After catching up and preparing her favorite meal—red rice with miso soup and hot green tea—I told her about the plans I had for us to visit my special place.

Later that afternoon, as we entered the temple, I felt the calmness and tranquility wash over me. I took my grandmother's hand and led her to the main hall, where we knelt before the altar and began to recite the prayers and mantras that I had learned from her years before.

As we prayed, our voices joined together, echoing throughout the temple. A gentle rain began to fall outside and, as the cold crept around where we knelt, I was engulfed by a deep sense of connection with my grandmother and with the universe. It was as if the barriers between us were falling away, and we were becoming one—with each other, and with our shared connection to the divine.

We finished our prayers and sat in silence, lingering in the serenity of the temple. I could feel my grandmother's hand in mine, and I was filled with a sense of gratitude and love(( A great example of weaving vivid language with explicit reflection!)) .

Spirituality has been essential in my life. It gives me a sense of grounding and purpose, and it teaches me the value of compassion. My spirituality has also given me a way to connect with my grandmother on a deeper level—like a private language that only we speak together. In a world that can often feel chaotic and disconnected, faith and spirituality provide a sense of stability and connection.

As we left the temple, I held my grandmother's hand and felt suffused by a sense of peace and contentment. Too often people who are disconnected from spirituality misunderstand the role it plays in billions of people’s lives. They see it as a way to “check out” from the issues the world faces, ignoring their responsibilities to others. This may be true for others, but not me. Quite the opposite. My spirituality helps me empathize with others(( Wonderful reflection.)) ; it helps me focus on the obligations we each have to every other person and creature on this planet. For me, it is the ultimate way to “check in” to the needs of the world and my community in a way that grounds me emotionally.

Spirituality offers a way to find meaning and purpose in life, and to connect with something greater than ourselves. For that, and for my grandmother, I am truly grateful.

AO Notes on An Afternoon with Grandmother

In this deeply reflective essay, the writer uses spirituality and their relationship with their grandmother to reveal a very personal part of themselves. The writer isn’t afraid to be vulnerable, and they clearly showcase strengths of wisdom and compassion.

• Vivid language: This author is a talented writer who has included a bunch of vivid language. But it’s not over the top. They include just enough to hold a reader’s attention and add some interest.
• Reflection: The reflection throughout this essay is excellent. Notice how it’s not just at the beginning or the end. It’s woven throughout. The writer follows up each major detail with an explanation of why it’s personally meaningful.
• Conclusion: The conclusion combines vivid language and reflection perfectly. By the end of the essay, we know exactly what the writer wants us to take away: spirituality is personally meaningful to them because it helps them connect with the people around them. And I especially like how the writer chose to end on a note of gratitude—always a good value to have in a personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #6: Rosie’s

While most people find their lowest point at rock bottom, I found mine in an Amerikooler DW081677F-8(( We’re definitely off to an odd start. I’m curious where this is headed!)) . With drops rolling down my back and my cheeks, I snuck into the walk-in freezer for a moment of chill.

At that point, I had worked at Rosie's for nearly a year. The job was a good one: it fit with my school schedule, paid well, and introduced me to close friends. But as a workplace, Rosie’s was pure chaos. The original owners passed on a host of problems the new owners were working hard to fix. But the problems ran deep. From an inefficient kitchen organization to a malfunctioning scheduling software, we never knew what to do or when.

The day I found myself in the Amerikooler was the day everything caught up with us(( This is a good transitional phrase that helps readers navigate this fairly complex narrative.)) . An error in our scheduling software led to us operating with only 30% of our typical team. As the only waitress on duty, I ran between the kitchen and the guests, stopping mid-delivery to put new vegetables in the steamers. The kitchen staff were barely getting through each dish before customers lost patience.

Then, in all the commotion, I dropped a plate of macaroni and cheese all over a customer. I apologized over and over again. I was embarrassed and ashamed. I couldn’t believe what I had done. I always tried to be one step ahead to give my customers the best service, so my mistake felt like an utter failure. After helping them clean up, I ran immediately to the freezer. I realized that something had to change.

In the Amerikooler, a pea and corn mix cool on my back, I considered my options. The easiest option was to quit. I could find another job, one that didn’t cause me so much stress. But quitting wouldn’t just mean giving up. It would mean accepting my failure. It would also mean abandoning the coworkers I had grown close to. Leaving them would only burden them more. While I knew it wasn’t my job to fix the restaurant, I knew that leaving wasn’t the answer either. Instead, I decided to focus on solutions(( I like the focus on solutions and action steps here!)) . I stood up from the cold, dirty freezer floor, dusted off my work pants, washed my hands, and got back to work.

Despite being the newest and youngest member of the Rosie’s staff, I recognized that I brought a new perspective to the workplace. Having spent the previous three summers scheduling volunteers for my local food drive, I used my organizing experience to devise a new scheduling system, one that didn’t rely on our outdated technology. I brought up the system at our weekly meeting, and after initial pushback, everyone agreed to give it a try. Three months later, my system keeps everyone happy and our kitchen and floor staffed.

But it wasn’t just the staffing problem that was the issue. Our workflows were inefficient, and we didn’t know how to communicate or collaborate effectively. I know that identifying an issue is always the first step to a solution, so I raised the question at our most recent staff meeting. Having earned my coworkers’ and bosses’ trust(( And here we see some good growth and leadership.)) , I led us in outlining a few new processes to streamline our productivity. In stark contrast to the failure I felt after spilling the macaroni and cheese, developing a new workflow with my coworkers made me proud. I hadn’t given in to the chaos, but I had worked thoughtfully and collaboratively to create new solutions.

I’m sure that won’t be my last time working in a disorganized environment or spilling macaroni and cheese. But I know that I’ll be ready to address whatever comes my way.

AO Notes on Rosie’s

If you’ve ever worked in a food establishment, then something in this essay will probably resonate with you. But I appreciate how the writer doesn’t get pulled into the negativity they experience. Instead, they focused their efforts (and their essay) on how they could make things better for everyone. That’s the kind of student admissions officers want to see on their campuses.

• Organization: The writer has to narrate and backtrack a bit at the beginning of the essay to make the introduction work. But it’s not confusing for a reader because they have very solid transitions. I also like how the action steps and reflection are organized in the narrative.
• Positive outlook: As an admissions officer, I would admire this student for their problem-solving skills. Working in that environment was surely tough, but they didn’t give up. They got to work and helped everyone out in the process.
• Humor: From the introduction to the conclusion, the writer incorporates subtle humor throughout. Because of it, we actually feel like we know the writer by the conclusion. Too much humor can overwhelm a personal essay, but just enough can help readers see who the writer really is.

Personal Statement Example #7: Gone Fishing

I pulled the line with my left hand and snapped the rod back with my right. The line split through the air above me like a knife through cake. I rigidly waved my right arm up and down to dry off my fly, which had started sinking from the weight of the water. Ready to cast, I loosened the grip on my left hand to release a few more feet of line, pulled my right arm back in a grandiose motion, and hammered it back down. I expected my line to fly out in front of me, gracefully floating back onto the surface of the water. Instead, I was met with a startling resistance. My fly had lodged itself into the bush behind me(( This opening paragraph has great vivid description. Here, we end on a moment of suspense that has left me intrigued about what will happen next.)) .

Annoyed, I waded through the tall, thick grass, rod under my arm and mosquitoes buzzing in my ears. This was the reality of fly fishing. In my short time as a fisherman, I’d caught far more trees, bushes, and riverweed than I had fish. What seems so elegant in movies like A River Runs Through It is actually a grueling process of trial and error. I took up flyfishing a year ago to conquer my fear of the outdoors(( Ah ha—we learn that this essay isn’t really about fly fishing. It’s about conquering a fear. And with that, we see that the stakes are high.)) . I could have (and probably should have) chosen a more mild activity like hiking or kayaking, but I’ve always been one to take on a challenge.

I had been afraid of the outdoors since childhood. Coming from a family that prefers libraries to parks and bed and breakfasts to tents, I never learned how to appreciate nature. I limited my time outside as much as I could. I feared the bugs, the sun, and the unknown.

I decided to try flyfishing when I realized I didn’t want to be controlled by my fear any longer(( As an AO, I would applaud this student’s bravery.)) . All the birthday parties I’d turned down, the memories that were made without me, I had missed out on so much. Being outside was an integral part of the human experience—or, at least, that’s what I’d been told. Without being willing to enjoy nature, I was missing out on what it meant to be myself.

Soon after this realization, I found an old rod in my grandpa’s garage and took it as a sign from the universe. On my first time out, my Honda Civic lurched over a ditch on the gravel road Google Maps had directed me to. I’d spent hours watching YouTube videos of proper technique. Stepping out of my car, I felt my skin crack under the dry heat, and I wanted to leave. But I continued on, walking through branches and over logs to the riverbank. I was doing it( More vivid detail that really gives us a sense of the writer’s discomfort—yet they’re persisting.)) .

I pushed myself to continue, no matter how uncomfortable I got. I went back, Saturday after Saturday, each time noticing improvements in my abilities. Along the way, I learned to push myself to do things that make me uncomfortable. I saw myself in a new light. I wasn’t Charlie, afraid of the outdoors. I was Charlie, fisherman.

The first time I caught a fish, I could hardly believe it. Thinking I had caught another piece of riverweed, I tugged on my line and rolled my eyes. But suddenly, it started tugging back. It was a sensation I’d never experienced before, one of haste, pride, and panic. I instantly collected myself, bracing against the bank as I secured the line with my finger and slowly pulled the fish ashore. Delicately removing my hook from its mouth, I admired its beauty. Whereas I had once feared creatures like this trout, I now respected it. Its holographic scales glistened in the sunlight. I thanked it for helping me grow, and I placed it back in the water. It swam away. I wiped the slime off my hands and picked up my rod, left hand tugging at the line, right hand snapping back again((This conclusion is quite long, but I really like this poetic ending. It shows so much growth, and there’s a subtle nod to the fact that the writer is continuing to fish.)) .

AO Notes on Gone Fishing

From all this imagery, I really felt like I was fishing alongside them. What’s better, I feel like I really get where this student is coming from because of their vulnerability. They show immense growth and open-mindedness, which is exactly what admissions officers are looking for.

• Imagery: This writer definitely likes creative writing. From the introduction, we can envision ourselves going on this journey with the writer. There is some excellent “show, don’t tell” here.
• Deep personal meaning: Biggest fears are hard to overcome, especially with such a good attitude. It’s clear that this topic is a meaningful one to the writer. Even the act of fly fishing, which they didn’t seem to like much at first, becomes a meaningful act.
• Narrative arc: We have a classic “going on a journey” essay, where the writer transforms on a journey from point A (being afraid of the outdoors) to point B (catching a fish). The writer’s implementation of this structure is excellent, which makes the essay easy to follow.

Good Personal Statement Examples

Even if your essay isn’t worthy of The New Yorker , you can still make your mark on admissions officers. Writing an essay that fulfills all the goals of a personal statement, whether or not it meets every single criterion an admissions officer is looking for, can still get you into a great college.

Most personal statements are good personal statements, so don’t worry if you’re feeling overwhelmed by the amazing essay examples you see online. The key to writing a good personal statement is writing your personal statement. Focus on finding a topic that lets you communicate your own meaning and voice, and you’ll be set.

The following examples are awesome personal statements. There may be a little room for improvement in places, but the essays do exactly what they need to do. And they say a lot about their writers. Let’s see what the writers and admissions officers have to say.

Personal Statement Example #8: Beekeeper’s Club

As I lift the heavy lid of the hive, the hum of thousands of bees fills my ears. I carefully smoke the entrance to calm the bees, and I begin to inspect the frames. The bees are busy at work, collecting nectar and pollen, and tending to their young. I am in awe of their organization.

I never would have thought that I, a high school student, would become a beekeeper(( An interesting hobby for a high school student! I’m intrigued to see where this is going.)) . But now it’s something I can’t imagine my life without.

It all started when I found a beekeeping suit at a garage sale two summers ago. At a mere five dollars, it was yellowing and musty, but it appeared to be fully intact and without any holes. I’ve lived many lives as a hobbyist, always willing to try new things. I’ve been a sailor, a gardener, a basketball player, a harpist, a rock climber, and more. The problem is that I can never manage to see these hobbies through(( I see. Here we get a sense of what’s at stake in this new venture. The problem is that writer can’t seem to hold down a hobby. Will beekeeping solve that problem? Let’s find out .)) . As a perpetual novice, I always lose interest or become overwhelmed by all the information. But that’s never stopped me from taking up a new hobby, so I brought the beekeeping suit to the make-shift register and handed the seller a five-dollar bill.

To embark on my new hobby, I first went to the library and read everything I could find about beekeeping. Research is always my first step when starting something new. I like to know what I’m in for. As I read, I became fascinated by the fact that such small creatures can serve such a critical role on our planet. I learned about the importance of bees for pollinating crops, and I read that their populations have been declining in recent years. I was determined to do my part to help. This wasn’t just a hobby anymore— it was a mission(( And the stakes just got higher.)) .

But like the bees I’d been reading about, I knew I couldn't do it alone. My years of abandoning hobbies had taught me that this time, I needed guidance from someone with experience. I knew the first place to look. At the farmer’s market that Saturday, I went straight to the honey stand and introduced myself. The vendor’s name was Jeremy, and he was excited to see someone so young taking up beekeeping. I asked if I could come see his hives sometime, and he agreed.

I showed up the next weekend with my used beekeeping suit in hand. Jeremy gave me a tour. I was astounded by the simultaneous simplicity and complexity. As the months went by, Jeremy became my mentor. He taught me the importance of monitoring the health of the hive, how to properly harvest honey, and even the ins and outs of the farmer’s market business.

I was grateful for his guidance and friendship. I found myself becoming more and more passionate about bees and the art of beekeeping.

After months of tending to my hive, I finally had it up and running. These bees were in my care(( The writer has shown us that they’ve learned a big lesson from their past failures: they need support and guidance. I’m impressed that this time they are making an intentional change.)) —this was one hobby I couldn’t abandon. With that knowledge and Jeremy’s support, one hive grew to five. I’m not in it for the money or even the honey. I’m in it for the bees, for the millimeter of difference I’m making in their lives and in the life of the earth.

Through beekeeping, I have found a community of people who share my love for bees. Jeremy, the bees, and the entire beekeeping community have taught me not to quit. We support each other, share tips and advice, and work together to help protect these important insects. And in the process, I have learned that I can take up any new hobby I want and stick with it if I just put in enough effort(( Yep—the writer has come out of this journey on the other side, having learned that their effort does pay off.)) .

AO Notes on Beekeeper’s Club

As an admissions officer, it’s always fun to read about students’ eccentric hobbies. I’d count this as one of them. But what’s better than learning about the hobby is seeing a student’s personal growth.

What makes this essay good:

• Personal journey: Most good personal statements show some kind of personal growth. In this case, we see that the writer has grown mature and aware enough to hold down a hobby. We see that it wasn’t an easy road, but they got there.
• Strengths: There are lots of strengths in this personal statement. We see self-awareness, initiative, teamwork, and care for the bees and the planet.
• Reflection: Part of what makes this personal journey so good is that the writer takes us on the journey with them through reflection. At each stage of the journey, we know exactly what the writer is thinking and feeling. By the end, we’re celebrating their success with them.

What the writer could do to level up:

• Personal meaning: Yep, “personal journey” and “personal meaning” can be two separate things. Although the writer goes on a great personal journey, the personal meaning seems to be lacking a bit. It’s clear that this is an important topic to the writer, but it doesn’t exactly come across as an especially vulnerable one. The writer could make it more vulnerable by incorporating more personal meaning into their reflection: what would it have meant if they had quit beekeeping too? What’s the problem with dropping hobbies in the first place? Why is it personally important to learn to stick with things?

Personal Statement Example #9: Ann

Pushing her blonde curls from her forehead, she pursed her lips in focus(( This vivid, detailed description really draws me in.)) . She sat with legs crossed across the kitchen chair. This was it: the moment she’d been preparing for. Her tiny hand gripped the pencil as if it were a stick of dynamite and twitched her fingers up, down, and back again. She looked up at me and smiled, teeth too big for her growing mouth. “Ann,” the paper read. As I glowed back at my mini-me, I saw in her my whole heart(( And here the focus switches from Ann to the writer—an important transition.)) .

My sister was technically an accident, born when I was eleven years old. But I know that, in the grand scheme of things, Ann’s existence was destined by the cosmos. Watching her write was like looking in a mirror. My hair has long since turned brown, but she and I deal with the same unmanageable curls. Her toothy grin developed over five years of mutual laughter. And she got that unwavering focus from watching me do my own homework each night. At the same time I’ve taught her the ways of the world, she’s taught me joy, patience, and persistence(( Lessons learned! This sentence really draws attention to the main theme. It could be a little more specific because “joy, patience, and persistence” are almost cliche.)) .

I had been an only child for my first decade of life. I remember being lonely and without purpose. With Ann came the opportunity to make a real impact on someone, even as a child myself. The night she was born, I vowed to protect her. I had never seen anyone so small and fragile, and I begged my parents to let me hold her. Next to mine, her hand looked like a doll’s. It was purple and pink from the ordeal of birth. Her eyes barely opened, but I couldn’t keep mine off her.

Many older siblings find their younger siblings to be nuisances. But Ann has always been my best friend. Her first two years of life, she struggled with health issues that scared us all. I felt helpless and afraid, but I knew I had to fight alongside her. I did everything I could: I grabbed diapers and bottles for my parents, I talked to her for hours on end, and, when she was old enough, I spoon fed her and encouraged her to eat. As Ann grew bigger and stronger, I grew stronger, too(( It sounds like this was a really difficult challenge for the writer and their family. I appreciate this picture we get of the writer in relation to Ann.)) .

Each year has gotten better than the previous. I was there to catch Ann when she took her first steps, teach her her first words, and get her dressed every day. She tagged behind me as I took photos before my first dance, got my learner’s permit, and went on my college tours. While being a teen with a toddler sibling wasn’t always perfect, Ann’s mere presence makes those around her feel loved and appreciated. She’s exactly who I aspire to be.

Watching her write her name at the kitchen table, I became overwhelmed with the thought of leaving her to head off to college. She still has so much to learn, so many ways to grow. But just as the thought entered my mind, she spoke in her high-pitched and innocent voice. “When you go to college,” she asked, “will you tell me about your classes?” I blinked away the tears gathering in my eyes, smoothed her curls with my hand, and pulled her in close.

Going to college won’t mean leaving Ann. It will mean opening her world—and mine—to endless new knowledge and possibilities. She’ll grow and change, and so will I. When we reunite, we’ll smile our toothy smiles and embrace each other, our curly hair intertwining. We’ll sit at the kitchen table, focused and laughing, like nothing has changed(( I like how the siblings are continuing to grow together, but at the end of the day, they still have their amazing relationship.)) .

AO Notes on Ann

I always find sibling essays like this one so sweet. It’s amazing how clearly we can understand someone solely through their interactions with a loved one. As an admissions officer, I would see that this student would be a great community member (and roommate!).

• Deeply meaningful: Especially with the family context, it’s apparent that this topic is deeply meaningful to the writer. Because it’s so meaningful a topic, the writer is able to show an immense amount of care for Ann without even trying. AOs love seeing traits like care, maturity, and the ability to grow.
• Clear message: Personal statements should have themes that encompass the main message the writer wants to convey. This essay’s message is clear as day: the writer is a better, happier, more generous person because of Ann. They are an awesome sibling.
• More about the self: This one’s tricky because we get an implicit sense of who the writer is now through the overall tone and meaning. But a lot of the personal examples the writer chose are old examples from childhood and early adolescence. Some of those are important to provide family context, but I still would have liked to get a more recent picture of the writer.

Personal Statement Example #10: Running through My Neighborhood

My mind and eyes began to wander as I turned the corner on my fourth mile. I’ve always been a runner. It's a way for me to relax and challenge myself. Running makes me feel like I’m one with the world around me. As I run, I can't help but be struck by the beauty of the buildings and people that make up my city. Each is a work of art—a carefully-crafted expression of my community. With every step, I feel a deep connection to the life around me(( This introduction covers a lot, so this last sentence could be a bit more specific.)) .

On my run, I find myself drawn to the intricate details of the buildings. I admire the way the light catches on centuries-old bricks, casting shadows that dance across the pavement below. I look up at the skyscraper windows that nearly touch the sky, frightened at the sight of window washers. Old and new, the buildings all carry stories.

In the same way, I admire the neighbors around me. I see them feeding pigeons, smiling at me as I pass by. They’re walking dogs and babies, talking on a park bench, and playing hopscotch. I run by them, fast but steady, and breathe it all in. I’m on this beautiful city block, surrounded by people whose whole lives are familiar yet mysterious, and I’m running.

But it's not just the aesthetic beauty of the buildings that grabs my attention. As I run, I find myself thinking about the stories and histories behind each one. I wonder about the people who built them, the families they had at home, the lives they led. I think about the people who have lived and worked in these buildings and the memories that have been made within their walls.

Take the local bakery, for instance. I’ve run by there a thousand times in my life, each time soaking up the smell of freshly-baked bread and pastries. The building seems unassuming at first, with a simple glass door and brick façade. But once you step foot inside, you’re immediately hit with the warmth of the staff and patrons. The old photos on the wall and cozy furniture that has been there since the bakery’s opening back in the 1950s—it feels like home(( These are great vivid details.)) . The bakery is everything I value about my neighborhood. It completely represents what kind of neighbor I want to be. Plus, it’s not a bad place for a post-run snack.

Through my runs, I’ve also made connections with those who frequent the sidewalks alongside me. One of the people I see regularly on my runs is Mrs. Carter, an elderly woman who always has a kind word and a smile for everyone she meets. Her white hair is carefully curled, and her face is dimpled with laugh lines from thousands of conversations like ours. She often stops to chat with me, asking how my day is going and sharing stories from her own life. I always look forward to seeing her. She’s like the grandmother I never had. Mrs. Carter inspires me to be a better community member every day(( This kind of reflection brings the focus back to the writer’s personal journey.)) .

Running through my neighborhood is about more than just staying fit. It’s also about being in community with those around me. As I weave through the people on the sidewalk, I feel as though I am weaving myself through their stories, picking up tidbits and adding them to my own narrative. I wouldn’t be who I am today without these runs that have taught me so much. I can’t wait to run across my college campus, admiring my new surroundings and meeting my new neighbors(( I like this gesture to the future—as an AO, I would start to picture this student running through my campus, too!)) .

AO Notes on Running through My Neighborhood

Running essays can get a bad rap in college admissions. But this one overcomes that stereotype. At its core, this essay is about the runner’s relationship to their community. I really appreciate how much care and enthusiasm this writer shows for those around them.

• Writing: The writer’s voice shines through. They have great vivid descriptions, and we’re really able to envision ourselves in the neighborhood alongside them.
• Personal meaning: The way the writer describes those they encounter in their neighborhood shows that this isn’t a minor part of their life. Their runs are a big deal. The people they see along the way have greatly shaped who they are.
• Greater focus on self: Now, there are much worse culprits when it comes to personal essays that focus on people other than the writer. But the writer does toe the line. Their descriptions mostly focus on those around them, and while there is some reflection that connects their own experience to other people, it doesn’t actually take up much space in the essay. To level up, the writer could make this essay more about themself.

Personal Statement Example #11: Musical Installation Art

As a child, I was always drawn to stringed instruments(( The hook could have more punch, but this gets the job done.)) . I would pluck at my dad's old guitars, create makeshift harps with dental floss, and even play around with the banjo and harp in music class. As I got older, I realized that I wanted to focus on making my own instruments. And where better to start than in my dad's scrapyard? The yard sprawled out for almost five acres behind our house. It was a marvel of junk and oddities, with the accumulated garbage from hundreds of junker cars built up in our backyard. I grew up playing there, leading a childhood that most parents would probably see as reckless—rolling tires through narrow alleyways between crushed cars stacked high. But for me, the backyard was an endless playground for my imagination.

It was there that I discovered the joys of welding and soldering. I would rummage through piles of metal and find pieces that I could fashion into something new. My first sculptures were simple, resembling birds or dogs and pieced together from strips of metal. I’d look for similar art everywhere I went, grasping for inspiration. At a fair one weekend, I saw a booth run by an artist who built guitars. After speaking with him about his art, he asked to see a picture of my sculptures. I showed him and explained that I hoped to make my own instruments one day, too. He scuttled to the back of his tent and returned with a gift: a set of thick copper strings. “Try using those,”(( What an endearing story.)) he told me.

My first sculpture instrument was a crude thing—little more than a board of metal with pegs that I used to pull the copper strings tight. But I tightened them, I was in love—spending all night plucking away. At first, the instrument wailed and screeched. String by string, I delicately tuned the wires into sirens. I had created something that played music, and I was so proud.

My experience building the instrument motivated me to enroll in a sculpture class at the local community college. It was there that I learned how to properly solder metal and create more complex structures. For my final project, I made a three-foot-tall, four-stringed metal instrument in the shape of a dragon.

But as I worked, I started to realize that my dragon wasn't going to be beautiful in the traditional sense. Its metal body was jagged and uneven, and the strings were stretched tight across its back in a way that produced discordant, almost abrasive music. I tried to adjust the tuning, but no matter what I did, the music remained harsh and unpleasant.

At first, I was disappointed. I wanted my dragon to be a work of art, something that people would marvel at and love listening to. But as I continued to play with it, I started to see the beauty in the chaos(( This paragraph shows wonderful growth. And as a reader, I’m drawn in trying to imagine what the sculpture actually looks like.)) . The music it produced was like a musical language that I had invented, one that was wild and untamed. It was a reflection of my own creativity and individuality. A discordant collection of notes that sounded like they’d been tuned so as to be atonal. But I didn't care. I was a scrapyard kid, and this dragon played the song of my people: strong, innovative, and beautiful.

The combination of sculpture and music fascinates me. How does the shape of a fabrication affect the kind of sound that the object produces? What sounds do different materials produce? As I’ve learned more about sculpture, I’ve also become interested in installation art that has sound dimensions. I want to capture people’s visual and aural attention to inspire questions about how we navigate the aesthetic world(( It sounds like this topic potentially relates to the student’s future goals. If that’s true, there could be a clearer academic connection here.)) . And I’ll use whatever scraps I can find to make my creations.

AO Notes on Musical Installation Art

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a piece of musical installation art myself, so this topic really held my attention. I appreciate the journey the writer went on to learn that their art may not look like everyone else’s, but it can be just as impactful.

• Topic: I like this topic not only because it’s not one you see every day but also because it lets the writer reveal a lot about themself and their background. We see where they grew up and who they grew up with, and we also learn about this deeply meaningful personal interest.
• Writing style: This author has a very distinct writing style. In some ways, the writing style mirrors their art style—abrupt at times, melodic at others.
• Organization: The first half of this essay doesn’t always match up with the second half. Even though we’re still able to see the writer’s journey as a metal artist and musician, there’s still a bit of streamlining that needs to happen.

Personal Statement Example #12: Ski Patrol

I can never get enough of being in the mountains(( This hook isn’t very compelling, so it could use some more attention.)) . I am a skier through and through. Growing up, I spent countless family vacations on the slopes with my dad and siblings. I love the rush I get speeding down the mountain—I’ve improved so much over my life that I can now handle most runs I come across. But last year, I took my love for skiing to a whole other level by joining ski patrol.

It was mid-December, and my family had decided to take a weekend away to go skiing. Everything was going normally at first. We had a good day on the slopes and wanted to go one more run before calling it a night. We took a moment to rest and watched the person in front of us go. Only seconds after she headed down the mountain, something happened with her ski. She catapulted into a nearby tree. People raced to check on her, while we stayed back and alerted ski patrol.

When ski patrol arrived, I watched in amazement. They moved in such a precise way. They were like a machine—everyone knew exactly what to do when. Thankfully, it was a false alarm and the skier only had a few scratches. But my own life was changed forever. I knew then that I wanted to be a part of this team, to help others in a tangible way and to make a difference on the mountain that had always been my home.

As soon as I could, I applied for the Junior Ski Patrol team. I had to go through a tryout process on the hill, which made me nervous. But it felt good to be surrounded by people who loved skiing as much as I do. Thankfully, I was accepted shortly after; it was one of the best days of my life. Now on Junior Ski Patrol, I have the opportunity to do what I love – skiing – while also making a positive impact on others(( And here we get to the heart of the essay. The writer wants to help others while doing something they love. It’s a noble pursuit!)) . My team shadows the adult Ski Patrol, and we learn a lot of lessons along the way.

On the mountain (and in life), you never know what challenges might arise. One of the most important things I’ve learned from Junior Ski Patrol is to be prepared for anything. I’ve gotten my CPR and first aid certifications so I’m always prepared to administer life-saving care to anyone who might need it. I know how to pack a bag full of enough essentials to survive harsh weather or injuries.

But ski patrol has also taught me so much more than just how to help others. It has shown me how I work best on a team. I’m not naturally a leader, which is something I’ve always felt ashamed about. After learning from our mentors who all fulfill different roles on their adult Ski Patrol team, I realized that I don’t have to be a leader to be a good team member. The quiet collaborators who can follow the lead, take initiative when needed, and do their jobs really well are just as important as the people who are front-and-center(( An important personal insight.)) .

Being on ski patrol as a high school student has been an incredible journey, and I am grateful for the opportunity to be a part of such a dedicated team. More importantly, I’m proud of the growth I’ve experienced. I went from a person who just loves skiing to a person who is more confident in herself. I no longer feel unprepared or timid. I know exactly how to keep myself safe and work alongside others. While I don’t want to be a professional Ski Patroller or even go into medicine, I know these lessons will serve me well wherever life takes me(( As an AO, I would have been wondering if being on JSP made them want to study medicine, so I appreciate that they answered it for me!)) . But no matter where I end up, when the mountain calls, you know I’ll answer.

AO Notes on Ski Patrol

In this fun hobby-meets-accomplishment essay, the writer shows us their strengths of care and teamwork. I like the crossover between something that they really enjoy and this impressive accomplishment they have of being on Junior Ski Patrol.

• Lessons learned: The writer makes it very clear what lessons they learned from Junior Ski Patrol. Lessons don’t always have to be this explicit, but I appreciate how the writer really takes the time to reflect on what they’ve learned.
• Personal insight: Okay, this point is related to the lessons learned. But it’s important to draw out on its own because personal essays are, of course, personal. This topic easily could have been just about skiing down a mountain or administering first aid on patrol. Instead, the writer kept the focus inward to meet the expectations of a personal essay.
• What’s at stake?: We do get a good sense of personal meaning. But the writer could do a better job of speaking to the significance of this activity to their life. A good question to ask is, “What’s at stake?” What would I have lost or gained if this story had turned out differently? Asking these questions can also help you figure out what it is that you want an admissions officer to learn from your personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #13: The Regulars

One pump of vanilla syrup. Frothed milk. One espresso shot. Caramel drizzle(( Starting with some version of the following sentence would have been a stronger hook.)) . Like a scientist at her bench, I have methodically repeated these steps four days a week for the past two years. During my time as a Starbucks barista, I’ve learned hundreds of recipes and customizations. I know all the secret menu hacks, and I’ve developed several recipes for friends and family too. I pride myself on speed, quality, and memory. My favorite part of the job is the customer service. As one of the busiest locations in the region, I’ve caffeinated thousands. But it’s my regular customers, those whose orders I know like the back of my hand, who have truly impacted me.

Venti Vanilla Sweet Cream Cold Brew, hold the vanilla syrup. A busy mom of four, Chelsea is always in a hurry. I try to catch her the moment she enters the store so I can get started right away. Her Venti drink fuels her through school dropoffs and pickups, gymnastics lessons, and evening math homework. Throughout my conversations with her, I’ve learned that Chelsea is a scheduling virtuoso. As someone with ADHD(( This paragraph is almost too much about Chelsea, so this sentence is crucial to bring the focus back to the writer.)) , I became so inspired by her ability to juggle so many people and schedules simultaneously. After asking her for advice, she helped me find a time management system that I can keep up with. I have Chelsea to thank for my improved grades.

Grande dark roast, no room for cream. Mr. Williams is a retired businessman who always tips 100%. Mr. Williams is a quiet man, so it took me months to draw any information from him. Instead of using my over-the-top customer service voice, I eventually learned to be myself. When I got him to open up, I discovered that he was a service worker himself before he made it big in business in his sixties. The truth is, Mr. Williams has tipped me hundreds of dollars throughout my time here, which is extra money that will help me pay for college. He’s taught me the value of quiet generosity(( Let’s be honest. Mr. Williams sounds like a cool guy. But Mr. Williams isn’t applying to college—the writer is! I like that we get small glimpses into who the writer is through this paragraph, but there’s still room for more.)) .

Tall soy London Fog. Sweet Darla gave up coffee twenty-five years ago, but she still loves an occasional treat. When Darla enters, I clear my schedule. She always has stories to tell about the eighty years of life she’s lived. Darla is everything I want to be at that age: she’s spunky, opinionated, and hilarious(( Here we learn a lot about the writer through Darla.)) . Sometimes I tell Darla stories of my own. When I explained the dramatic series of events that led to me landing first chair in my symphony, she said she was going to retell it her bridge club. Making Darla laugh so hard will always be one of my proudest moments.

Grande iced matcha. Taylor is my age and goes to my school. When I took her order for the first time, I felt embarrassed that I needed to work to support myself while she could enjoy expensive drinks. But her kindness softened me. As time went on, I learned that she visited Starbucks so much because she wanted to get out of her house, which wasn’t a very happy place. While I have to take on as many shifts as possible, I still have a happy home to return to afterward. Now Taylor comes in near the end of my shift so we can take our drinks and have dinner at my house.

When you work in customer service, customers enter and exit your life like a revolving door. But the regulars, those special people who draw connections from daily but brief interactions, stick with you for life. I wouldn’t be who I am today if it weren’t for these people, and I would never have met them if it weren’t for my job as a barista. I haven’t just been making drinks these past two years. I’ve been making friends(( The conclusion does a good job tying all these different stories back together. )) .

AO Notes on The Regulars

No one appreciates a good barista story more than a tired admissions officer on their 30th application of the day! I like the personality that comes through in this essay especially. But this is one of those cases where it’s almost too much about other people.

• Creative take: Not every college essay needs a creative flair. In fact, sometimes going for “unique” structures can detract from an essay. But I like how the writer uses this format to structure the essay.
• Organization: This essay isn’t one a reader is bound to get lost in. The introduction sets up the essay well, it’s easy to see the connections between the points the writer is conveying, and the conclusion brings the focus back to the writer.
• More focus on self: While we do learn about the writer in this essay, we also learn a lot about Chelsea, Mr. Williams, Darla, and Taylor. The writer could have pared down the descriptions of other people—or cut one of the examples altogether—to save more room for personal reflection.

“Bad” Personal Statement Examples

These “bad” essays aren’t necessarily bad. They just aren’t very effective personal statements. Specifically, these two essays make some of the biggest college essay mistakes.

Making mistakes, especially when you’ve never written a personal statement before, is to be expected. We’ve included these examples so you can see what those mistakes look like in real-time. Learning from ineffective examples can be just as helpful as learning from the exceptional ones, so grab your pencil and start taking notes.

Our admissions officers have highlighted what’s working and what’s not. They offer helpful commentary and advice for revisions that you can use to assess your own personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #14: The Worst Year

My sophomore year of high school presented me with so many challenges(( This hook definitely gets straight to the point, but it doesn’t draw me in as a reader.)) . I struggled with a lot that year and barely managed to get by. It was the greatest challenge I ever faced.

The year started out like any other but soon went into chaos. My brother suddenly started struggling with drugs and alcohol. Before that, we didn’t know how bad he was hurting. But one night he finally came to us for help because apparently he had been using substances to cope with his emotions. He was scared because he felt like he had reached a breaking point and needed support. My parents didn’t want to help because they thought that he didn’t have a problem but I know my brother and I knew that he didn’t seem like himself. It was so sad to watch him go through that. I tried my best to help him but I was only a kid. I couldn’t really do anything besides tell him I loved him. Eventually my parents decided to get him some help, so he went away for a while and I wrote him letters every week and visited him as much as I could. The treatment he got helped thankfully. He’s doing better now and I am grateful that he is my brother.

But then Covid hit and I couldn’t even leave my house. We thought it would just be a two week vacation to school but it turned into two whole years of my life gone just like that. At the beginning I was stuck in my bedroom while my parents were working their jobs from the living room. Everyone was constantly getting annoyed with each other and driving each other wild. I would be doing a class Zoom in my room and I could hear my parents in a meeting in the living room. I had a hard time not being able to see my friends. I couldn't focus and my grades dropped. Even my teachers didn’t really seem to care. I was sick of staring at black Zoom screens all the time that I even stopped logging on. All of that combined led to me becoming very depressed and anxious. My grades dropped even more because I just couldn’t pay attention or focus enough to do my homework. I ended up getting grades way lower than I ever thought I would that year and I’m so frustrated about it because it felt like I was trying my best but it just wasn’t enough(( Here we see the writer opening up a bit and reflecting on what it was like to go through that experience.)) .

Even once we finally got back in school things didn’t get much better. The pandemic was just too much for my family so my parents ended up getting divorced at the beginning of my junior year. After all we had been through together seeing them separate made me devastated. My dad got an apartment and I had to go back and forth between their houses and pack up all my stuff every time. It was like moving my entire life every weekend. My brother was out of the house by this point so it was just me all by myself. My school was far from my dad’s new place so I’d have a long commute on the weeks I was with him. He was stressed at work and about the divorce and I just ended up feeling so lonely and spending most of my time in my room. My grades got better once online school stopped(( This moment of hope does a lot for moving the essay forward.)) but I had a hard time keeping close relationships with my friends because they didn’t like that I was living far away now and that we couldn’t really hang out anymore.

I couldn’t believe that two years would change so much. Getting through everything really challenged me. But I’m glad to be moving forward with my life.

AO Notes on The Worst Year

This student definitely had a challenging year. It’s clear that they’ve overcome a lot, and I appreciate their willingness to share their struggles. I like that the very last sentence

What this essay does well:

• Vulnerability: Writing about challenges is never easy, especially when you’re writing to people you don’t know. This writer is bold and unafraid in doing so.

What could be improved on:

• Not enough positivity: Here’s the thing. You definitely don’t need to be able to spin all of your challenging experiences into positive ones. But the topics you choose to write your college essay about should ultimately conclude on a positive note. You want your college essay to show you in a positive light, so you should choose a topic that lets you find a light, positive, or hopeful resolution.

Personal Statement Example #15: The Strikeout that Changed My Life

The stadium lights shone brightly in my eyes. I stepped up to the plate and drew back my bat. I wiggled my fingers, waiting. The pitcher wound up his arm and threw the ball towards me. My eyes worked overtime to track the ball. I watched as it flew directly towards the center of the plate and made a last-minute curve(( I like this vivid description.)) . It went straight into the catcher’s mitt. “Strike three!” the umpire yelled. That was the time I struck out at the quarter-finals. My team was so close to making it to the championship that we could taste it. It was the bottom of the sixth, and I gave up a valuable chance to score game-winning runs. We ended up losing. I learned a valuable lesson that fateful day. I never wanted to let my team down like that again(( And the writer jumps quickly into the main theme of the essay. Still, the message here could be more specific.)) .

We had advanced through our bracket without much trouble. The other teams were no match for our work ethic and teamwork. We were in perfect sync. As the first baseman, I was ready for any throw that came my way. We were also hitting well. I scored three home runs throughout the course of the tournament. We were a high-functioning machine. But for a machine to work, each cog has to function correctly. When I stepped up to the plate in the sixth inning, I was a broken cog.

After our quarter–final loss, I grieved with my teammates. Then I went off on my own to think. How had I let my team down so badly? How did I not even try to swing at that pitch? It was all my fault. I had to figure out what I had done wrong so I would never make the mistake again. I realized that I had been thinking selfishly. I was concerned about my own performance, my own at-bat averages(( This is a good reflection.)) . I was scared of failing because I didn’t want to be embarrassed. And worrying about all of those things caused me to lose focus and miss my chance to make a difference. Instead, I should have been thinking about how my at-bat would contribute to my team’s overall goal of winning the game.

I returned to where my teammates were congregating, and several of them patted me on the back. The next day, we went over how the game went as a team and talked about how we could improve at our tournament the following weekend. I admitted that I felt like I let the team down. My teammates said that they understood and reassured me that mistakes happen. It wasn’t my failed at-bat alone that lost us the game. Like winning, losing is a team effort. It was a culmination of lots of little issues. At the end of the day, the other team just out-performed us. But we could try hard, practice a lot, and return triumphant next weekend.

Letting my team down was a crushing blow to my self-esteem. I never want to feel like that again, but I know that the experience caused me to grow. Through all of this, I learned that I have to trust myself and my team(( Here we get to the lesson learned.)) . Focusing on myself alone can only get me so far. But focusing on my team can get me to where I want to go. I’m actually thankful that I struck out in that sixth inning because it caused me to learn an important life lesson.

AO Notes on The Strikeout that Changed My Life

This essay on its own definitely isn’t “bad.” As far as essays go, it’s clear, well-written, and organized nicely. But as a college essay, it could be doing more work on the writer’s behalf. See, as an admissions officer, I don’t actually learn that much about the writer from this essay alone. I see that they like baseball, are a good teammate, and can overcome failure. Those are wonderful traits, but they don’t exactly help set this student apart on the admissions committee floor. Instead, the student could make this essay more vulnerable and personal.

• Writing: The writer uses some great creative writing skills to really set the scene for the readers. In that first paragraph, I really feel like I’m there watching the game.
• Reflection: Even though the topic could be more significant, the writer does a great job reflecting on the meaning they drew from the experience.
• Significance: It’s very clear that this topic holds a lot of meaning to the writer. But as a college essay topic, it lacks vulnerability and stakes.

Key Takeaways

Writing a personal statement is a difficult ask, especially when you’ve never even read one before. But now, with these fifteen examples in your back pocket, you’re ready to write your own.

If you’re not sure what steps to take next, hop on over to our guide to writing personal statements for advice. You can also find more extensive guidance on the Essay Academy , a comprehensive college essay writing video course and community.

Happy writing! 🥳

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NPR defends its journalism after senior editor says it has lost the public's trust

David Folkenflik

NPR is defending its journalism and integrity after a senior editor wrote an essay accusing it of losing the public's trust. Saul Loeb/AFP via Getty Images hide caption

NPR is defending its journalism and integrity after a senior editor wrote an essay accusing it of losing the public's trust.

NPR's top news executive defended its journalism and its commitment to reflecting a diverse array of views on Tuesday after a senior NPR editor wrote a broad critique of how the network has covered some of the most important stories of the age.

"An open-minded spirit no longer exists within NPR, and now, predictably, we don't have an audience that reflects America," writes Uri Berliner.

A strategic emphasis on diversity and inclusion on the basis of race, ethnicity and sexual orientation, promoted by NPR's former CEO, John Lansing, has fed "the absence of viewpoint diversity," Berliner writes.

NPR's chief news executive, Edith Chapin, wrote in a memo to staff Tuesday afternoon that she and the news leadership team strongly reject Berliner's assessment.

"We're proud to stand behind the exceptional work that our desks and shows do to cover a wide range of challenging stories," she wrote. "We believe that inclusion — among our staff, with our sourcing, and in our overall coverage — is critical to telling the nuanced stories of this country and our world."

NPR names tech executive Katherine Maher to lead in turbulent era

She added, "None of our work is above scrutiny or critique. We must have vigorous discussions in the newsroom about how we serve the public as a whole."

A spokesperson for NPR said Chapin, who also serves as the network's chief content officer, would have no further comment.

Praised by NPR's critics

Berliner is a senior editor on NPR's Business Desk. (Disclosure: I, too, am part of the Business Desk, and Berliner has edited many of my past stories. He did not see any version of this article or participate in its preparation before it was posted publicly.)

Berliner's essay , titled "I've Been at NPR for 25 years. Here's How We Lost America's Trust," was published by The Free Press, a website that has welcomed journalists who have concluded that mainstream news outlets have become reflexively liberal.

Berliner writes that as a Subaru-driving, Sarah Lawrence College graduate who "was raised by a lesbian peace activist mother ," he fits the mold of a loyal NPR fan.

Yet Berliner says NPR's news coverage has fallen short on some of the most controversial stories of recent years, from the question of whether former President Donald Trump colluded with Russia in the 2016 election, to the origins of the virus that causes COVID-19, to the significance and provenance of emails leaked from a laptop owned by Hunter Biden weeks before the 2020 election. In addition, he blasted NPR's coverage of the Israel-Hamas conflict.

On each of these stories, Berliner asserts, NPR has suffered from groupthink due to too little diversity of viewpoints in the newsroom.

The essay ricocheted Tuesday around conservative media , with some labeling Berliner a whistleblower . Others picked it up on social media, including Elon Musk, who has lambasted NPR for leaving his social media site, X. (Musk emailed another NPR reporter a link to Berliner's article with a gibe that the reporter was a "quisling" — a World War II reference to someone who collaborates with the enemy.)

When asked for further comment late Tuesday, Berliner declined, saying the essay spoke for itself.

The arguments he raises — and counters — have percolated across U.S. newsrooms in recent years. The #MeToo sexual harassment scandals of 2016 and 2017 forced newsrooms to listen to and heed more junior colleagues. The social justice movement prompted by the killing of George Floyd in 2020 inspired a reckoning in many places. Newsroom leaders often appeared to stand on shaky ground.

Leaders at many newsrooms, including top editors at The New York Times and the Los Angeles Times , lost their jobs. Legendary Washington Post Executive Editor Martin Baron wrote in his memoir that he feared his bonds with the staff were "frayed beyond repair," especially over the degree of self-expression his journalists expected to exert on social media, before he decided to step down in early 2021.

Since then, Baron and others — including leaders of some of these newsrooms — have suggested that the pendulum has swung too far.

Author Interviews

Legendary editor marty baron describes his 'collision of power' with trump and bezos.

New York Times publisher A.G. Sulzberger warned last year against journalists embracing a stance of what he calls "one-side-ism": "where journalists are demonstrating that they're on the side of the righteous."

"I really think that that can create blind spots and echo chambers," he said.

Internal arguments at The Times over the strength of its reporting on accusations that Hamas engaged in sexual assaults as part of a strategy for its Oct. 7 attack on Israel erupted publicly . The paper conducted an investigation to determine the source of a leak over a planned episode of the paper's podcast The Daily on the subject, which months later has not been released. The newsroom guild accused the paper of "targeted interrogation" of journalists of Middle Eastern descent.

Heated pushback in NPR's newsroom

Given Berliner's account of private conversations, several NPR journalists question whether they can now trust him with unguarded assessments about stories in real time. Others express frustration that he had not sought out comment in advance of publication. Berliner acknowledged to me that for this story, he did not seek NPR's approval to publish the piece, nor did he give the network advance notice.

Some of Berliner's NPR colleagues are responding heatedly. Fernando Alfonso, a senior supervising editor for digital news, wrote that he wholeheartedly rejected Berliner's critique of the coverage of the Israel-Hamas conflict, for which NPR's journalists, like their peers, periodically put themselves at risk.

Alfonso also took issue with Berliner's concern over the focus on diversity at NPR.

"As a person of color who has often worked in newsrooms with little to no people who look like me, the efforts NPR has made to diversify its workforce and its sources are unique and appropriate given the news industry's long-standing lack of diversity," Alfonso says. "These efforts should be celebrated and not denigrated as Uri has done."

After this story was first published, Berliner contested Alfonso's characterization, saying his criticism of NPR is about the lack of diversity of viewpoints, not its diversity itself.

"I never criticized NPR's priority of achieving a more diverse workforce in terms of race, ethnicity and sexual orientation. I have not 'denigrated' NPR's newsroom diversity goals," Berliner said. "That's wrong."

Questions of diversity

Under former CEO John Lansing, NPR made increasing diversity, both of its staff and its audience, its "North Star" mission. Berliner says in the essay that NPR failed to consider broader diversity of viewpoint, noting, "In D.C., where NPR is headquartered and many of us live, I found 87 registered Democrats working in editorial positions and zero Republicans."

Berliner cited audience estimates that suggested a concurrent falloff in listening by Republicans. (The number of people listening to NPR broadcasts and terrestrial radio broadly has declined since the start of the pandemic.)

Former NPR vice president for news and ombudsman Jeffrey Dvorkin tweeted , "I know Uri. He's not wrong."

Others questioned Berliner's logic. "This probably gets causality somewhat backward," tweeted Semafor Washington editor Jordan Weissmann . "I'd guess that a lot of NPR listeners who voted for [Mitt] Romney have changed how they identify politically."

Similarly, Nieman Lab founder Joshua Benton suggested the rise of Trump alienated many NPR-appreciating Republicans from the GOP.

In recent years, NPR has greatly enhanced the percentage of people of color in its workforce and its executive ranks. Four out of 10 staffers are people of color; nearly half of NPR's leadership team identifies as Black, Asian or Latino.

"The philosophy is: Do you want to serve all of America and make sure it sounds like all of America, or not?" Lansing, who stepped down last month, says in response to Berliner's piece. "I'd welcome the argument against that."

"On radio, we were really lagging in our representation of an audience that makes us look like what America looks like today," Lansing says. The U.S. looks and sounds a lot different than it did in 1971, when NPR's first show was broadcast, Lansing says.

A network spokesperson says new NPR CEO Katherine Maher supports Chapin and her response to Berliner's critique.

The spokesperson says that Maher "believes that it's a healthy thing for a public service newsroom to engage in rigorous consideration of the needs of our audiences, including where we serve our mission well and where we can serve it better."

Disclosure: This story was reported and written by NPR Media Correspondent David Folkenflik and edited by Deputy Business Editor Emily Kopp and Managing Editor Gerry Holmes. Under NPR's protocol for reporting on itself, no NPR corporate official or news executive reviewed this story before it was posted publicly.

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International business personal statement example 5.

From a young age, I developed an eager interest to how both small and large businesses work. My enthusiasm for a business-related subject came from growing up watching my stepfather run a small and successful tailor store and my mother working at Citibank. This made me aware of the daily life in the business world where an extensive amount of time and effort is put in, in order to satisfy the need of the customers. As my stepfather's tailor store used to be situated in my home country Vietnam, I also became fascinated of how a business could be moved from one country to another. I became keen to understand how the success of a business could differ tremendously depending on culture and circumstances. Furthermore I have always been drawn to understanding the way the world works and how different cultures cooperate in order to function as a whole. Therefore working in the international spheres within business has for a long time been a great interest of mine.

Studying economics in social studies 1 and 2 strengthened these early interests. It taught me the pricing of goods and services, the process of production and the basic concept of supply and demand. Furthermore, in my sustainable development course, I learnt how Maslow's theory of hierarchy of needs can be used in businesses to motivate employees to work productively but also the importance for a business to operate sustainably with its stakeholders in mind. These subjects broadened my knowledge of the development of businesses in an ever changing world. Additionally, through the course of sustainable development I was awarded the opportunity to examine sustainable solutions to transport on a study trip to India. I believe this allows me to advance my practical ability of collecting information and gain experience of the social, economic and environmental issues of the developing world.

Some other interests I have gained from my three years at upper secondary high school are my increasing interests for solving math problems as it has taught me to be determined in solving issues. Moreover my interest for studying English, Swedish, Mandarin, French and Vietnamese has developed my ability to write texts and essays and also understand different cultures. Therefore my mathematical ability allied to my broad linguistics has helped develop my communication skills and hold a balanced and open-minded outlook on the world. These can be useful to drive ideas forward in businesses on a national and global level.

Outside the classrom, I like to involve myself in extra-curricular activities in order to advance my educational experience. Being a part of school associations such as the graduation committee has helped develop my ability for leadership and organization. I was also a member of the schools cheerleading team. Cheerleading was physically demanding and required a great amount of trust. Due to this I learnt the values of hard work, determination and teamwork. Apart from school activities I work at a fast-food restaurant as a part-time job, this has taught me the essence of team work and handling stress and pressure. From this I believe that what has been learnt will be essential for all aspects in the studies of business.

Through studying an area in business at university I believe that it will further strengthen my understanding of this subject. As a student with an international background it would be perfect to study in the United Kingdom as it is offers many international cities with universities that have a global outlook. Also, after receiving high marks in the Social Studies program, I wish to further my ambitions in the business industry in hope to contribute to your university community as I develop theories and ideas of my own to improve the idea of managing a successful business.

Profile info

There is no profile associated with this personal statement, as the writer has requested to remain anonymous.

Author's Comments

Applied to: Warwick university, loughborough university, strathclyde university, bristol university and Edinburgh university

Got offers from: Warwick university and loughbourough university

I will be attending Warwick university october 2017

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90% of graduates going in to work or further study (Graduate Outcomes Survey, 2020)

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What to include in a Personal Statement

Personal Statement Tips

Nail your uni application with our personal statement examples.

Discover personal statements by subject, from A to Z. Find inspiration for your own application with these successful personal statement examples from real students.

A-Z of Personal Statements

Learn from previous student personal statements here. We have collated over 700 personal statement examples to help you on your university journey and to help you with how to write a personal statement.

These personal statement examples will show you the kind of thing that universities are looking for from their applicants. See how to structure your personal statement, what kind of format your personal statement should be in, what to write in a personal statement and the key areas to touch on in your statement.

A personal statement is a chance to tell your university all about you - a good personal statement is one that showcases your passion for the subject, what inspired you to apply for the course you’re applying for and why you think you would be an asset to the university.

Our collection includes personal statement examples in Mathematics, Anthropology, Accounting, Computer Science, Zoology and more.

Writing a personal statement has never been easier with our vast collection of personal statement examples.

Personal Statement

15 Accounting statements have been submitted.

Aerospace Engineering

2 Aerospace Engineering statements have been submitted.

American Studies

1 American Studies statements have been submitted.

Anthropology

2 Anthropology statements have been submitted.

Architecture

4 Architecture statements have been submitted.

Biochemistry

3 Biochemistry statements have been submitted.

26 Biology statements have been submitted.

Biomedical Science

7 Biomedical Science statements have been submitted.

Biotechnology

1 Biotechnology statements have been submitted.

Business Management

6 Business Management statements have been submitted.

Business Studies

23 Business Studies statements have been submitted.

3 Chemistry statements have been submitted.

Civil Engineering

2 Civil Engineering statements have been submitted.

4 Classics statements have been submitted.

Computer Science

14 Computer Science statements have been submitted.

Criminology

5 Criminology statements have been submitted.

2 Dentistry statements have been submitted.

6 Design statements have been submitted.

1 Dietetics statements have been submitted.

3 Drama statements have been submitted.

17 Economics statements have been submitted.

Engineering

9 Engineering statements have been submitted.

English Language

5 English Language statements have been submitted.

English Literature

13 English Literature statements have been submitted.

Environment

1 Environment statements have been submitted.

Event Management

1 Event Management statements have been submitted.

1 Fashion statements have been submitted.

4 Film statements have been submitted.

1 Finance statements have been submitted.

Forensic Science

2 Forensic Science statements have been submitted.

6 Geography statements have been submitted.

1 Geology statements have been submitted.

Health Sciences

1 Health Sciences statements have been submitted.

9 History statements have been submitted.

International Studies

2 International Studies statements have been submitted.

3 Languages statements have been submitted.

50 Law statements have been submitted.

2 Management statements have been submitted.

7 Marketing statements have been submitted.

7 Maths statements have been submitted.

5 Media statements have been submitted.

10 Medicine statements have been submitted.

1 Midwifery statements have been submitted.

10 Nursing statements have been submitted.

Pharmacology

9 Pharmacology statements have been submitted.

3 Pharmacy statements have been submitted.

5 Philosophy statements have been submitted.

Physical Education

1 Physical Education statements have been submitted.

3 Physics statements have been submitted.

Physiotherapy

5 Physiotherapy statements have been submitted.

14 Politics statements have been submitted.

23 Psychology statements have been submitted.

Religious Studies

2 Religious Studies statements have been submitted.

Social Policy

1 Social Policy statements have been submitted.

Social Work

3 Social Work statements have been submitted.

6 Sociology statements have been submitted.

Sports Science

1 Sports Science statements have been submitted.

Teacher Training

8 Teacher Training statements have been submitted.

2 Veterinary statements have been submitted.

1 Zoology statements have been submitted.

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Personal Statement Help

What is a personal statement.

A personal statement is an essay written by a student applying to either a college or university. A personal statement is written and then uploaded to UCAS and is then attached to any university applications that the student may then make.

If you need more information check out our personal statement advice articles .

How to write a personal statement

There isn't a clearly defined personal statement template for you to use as each person's statement is different.

When it comes to writing a personal statement for universities, your personal statement should touch on your passions, your interest in the course, why you're applying for the course and why you would be an asset to the university you're applying to.

Talk about the clubs and societies that you belong to, any work experience you may have and any awards you might have won.

If you're still looking for information check out our article on how to write a personal statement .

How to start a personal statement

When it comes to starting your personal statement, the best thing to do is to be succinct and to have enough tantalising information to keep the reader informed and eager for more.

Your introduction should touch on your personal qualities and why you are applying for the subject you're applying for. Keeping things short and sweet means that it also allows you to break your personal statement up, which makes it easier for the reader.

We have plenty of advice for students that are wondering about what to include in a personal statement .

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