how to motivate 8 year old to do homework

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How to help your child get motivated in school.

Strategies you can use to help kids work up to their potential

Writer: Danielle Cohen

Clinical Experts: Laura Phillips, PsyD, ABPdN , Ken Schuster, PsyD , Kristin Carothers, PhD

What You'll Learn

• Why do some kids have trouble getting motivated in school?
• How can parents help their children try harder in school?

It’s common for kids to lack motivation in school. Sometimes, this happens because the child has ADHD, anxiety, social challenges, or a learning disability. But other times, kids without a diagnosable problem still have trouble living up to their potential in school. Here are a few ways that parents can encourage kids to put in more effort at school.

Start by showing kids that you care about their schoolwork. Check in with them about how classes are going. Let them know that you’re there if they need homework help. Ask what they’re learning and what they like (and don’t like) about the assignments. With older kids, be sure to give them space, too. If they sense that you’re pressuring them, they might end up feeling resentful and less motivated.

Using positive reinforcement helps. You don’t need to give kids big rewards, but even small ones like a high five or a few extra minutes of screen time can make a difference. It’s also important to praise effort, not results. For example, praise your child for finishing a tough assignment or taking a class that might be hard. Nobody gets top grades all the time, so make sure your child knows you don’t expect perfection.

You can also bring in reinforcements if schoolwork is becoming a source of conflict for you and your child. You could hire an older student at your child’s school or a nearby college to help monitor homework and ease stress on the family. Talking to your child’s teacher can also give you insight into their behavior and help you work as a team to encourage them.

Finally, be sure to keep tabs on your own feelings. If you’re getting very frustrated or angry about your child’s school performance, a therapist or support group can help.

If you have a child who is struggling in school and doesn’t seem to be motivated to make an effort, the first thing you want to do is explore whether there is some obstacle getting in his way. Learning issues , social challenges, attention or emotional problems can all cause kids to disengage academically.

But not all kids who are underperforming in school—clearly not living up to their potential—have a diagnosable problem . And there are a number of things parents can do to help motivate kids to try harder.

Get involved

As a parent, your presence in the academic life of your child is crucial to their commitment to work. Do homework with them, and let them know that you’re available to answer questions. Get in the habit of asking them about what they learned in school, and generally engage them academically. By demonstrating your interest in your child’s school life, you’re showing them school can be exciting and interesting. This is especially effective with young kids who tend to be excited about whatever you’re excited about. Teenagers can bristle if they feel you are asking too many questions, so make sure you are sharing the details of your day, too. A conversation is always better than an interrogation.

Likewise, it’s important to stay involved but give older kids a little more space. If you’re on top of your kid all the time about homework, they may develop resistance and be less motivated to work—not to mention the strain it will put on your relationship.

Use reinforcement

Many parents are nervous about rewarding kids for good work , and it’s true that tangible rewards can turn into a slippery slope. But there are ways to use extrinsic motivation that will eventually be internalized by your kid. “Kids respond really well to social reinforcers like praises, hugs, high fives, and those kinds of things,” says Laura Phillips , PsyD, a neuropsychologist at the Child Mind Institute. “Then they start to achieve because it feels good for them.”

Ken Schuster , PsyD, a neuropsychologist at the Child Mind Institute, encourages parents to use rewarding activities that would have probably occurred either way but placing them after a set amount of time doing homework. He suggests treats that are easy to provide but that your child will enjoy, such as going for ice cream or sharing a candy bar. He also recommends breaking work up into chunks and using small breaks as rewards for getting through each chunk.

Reward effort rather than outcome

The message you want to send is that your respect hard work. Praising kids for following through when things get difficult, for making a sustained effort, and for trying things they’re not sure they can do successfully can all help teach them the pleasure of pushing themselves. Praise for good grades that come easily can make kids feel they shouldn’t have to exert themselves.

Help them see the big picture

For older kids who have developed an understanding of delayed gratification, sometimes simple reminders of their long-term goals can help push them. It can help many high school seniors who slack off after getting into college to remind them that they could lose their acceptance if their grades drop too much, or they might not be prepared for college courses. “Linking school up with their long-term goals can make the work feel more personally fulfilling,” explains Dr. Phillips.

Let them make mistakes

No one can get A’s on every test or perfect score on every assignment. While kids need encouragement, and it’s healthy to push them to try their best, know that setbacks are natural . Sometimes the only way kids learn how to properly prepare for school is by finding out what happens when they’re unprepared.

Get outside help

One way to take a little tension away from your relationship with your child is to find an older student (either at their school or a nearby college) to help them out with work. Most will charge pretty low rates, and the fact that they’re closer to your kid’s age may make it more likely they’ll listen to what they say.

“Homework was a source of conflict for us,” says Elizabeth, whose son Alex has ADHD . Elizabeth hired a few Barnard students to help Alex do his homework on certain nights, she recalls. “He behaved a lot better with them, and it was money well spent for me because I wasn’t fighting, and I wasn’t stressed out.”

Make the teacher your ally

Another one of the most important things you can do for your child is to work with their teacher. The teacher might have additional insight about how to motivate your child or what they might be struggling with. Likewise, you can share any strategies or information that you have.

When her son was in lower school and only had one teacher, Elizabeth would call his teacher before the first day, introducing herself and alerting the teacher that her son had ADHD and that he found it hard to focus. She would give the teacher little tips that she had found were useful with Alex: Writing multi-step directions on the board, tapping him on the shoulder while walking past to make sure he was paying attention and other small tweaks that would be useful to any young child but are especially essential to one with ADHD.

“Make sure that both school and home are of one accord,” stresses Kristin Carothers, PhD, a clinical psychologist. Dr. Carothers often sets up a system she calls the daily report card. With this system, the child gets points from their teacher for things like completing work and following directions the first time they get them. Then they bring those points home, where their parents give them small rewards, such as extra time on the iPad or playing a game together.

Get support for yourself

It can be just as frustrating to watch your child withdraw from school as it can be difficult for the kid themself to focus. Elizabeth says that she often feels judged as a parent for having a son who struggles so much in school.

Some schools have support groups for parents of kids who are less motivated, and if your child’s school doesn’t, Elizabeth encourages setting one up. “It’s very comforting to hear that you’re not alone,” she says. “It’s also helpful to hear people who have gone ahead of you talk about how to navigate the school’s system, find a therapist, and talk to teachers.”

“If you’re feeling yourself getting really angry or frustrated with your kids, take a step back,” Dr. Carothers recommends. “Put things into context.”

It’s also important to keep your goals in perspective: Your child may not become a star student. Make sure to focus on the effort they put in and the commitment they show instead of the outcome. If you expect perfect achievement from a child who struggles in school, you’ll drive yourself crazy.

“I’m not trying to get my child to be someone he’s not,” Elizabeth says about her efforts to help her son. “I just want him to reach his potential.”

Frequently Asked Questions

You can motivate your child to do homework by letting them know you’re available to answer any questions they might have and that you see how hard they’re working. You can also reward them with small treats, like going out for ice cream, after they finish a certain amount of homework.

To motivate a child to do well in school, use positive reinforcement such as hugs and high fives, reward their effort rather than specific outcomes, and help them make the connection between current effort and achieving long-term goals such as getting into college.

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How to motivate kids to practice hard things, recent research can help us teach kids to practice the right way to reach their goals..

According to a recent survey by the Society of Human Resource Management, 97 percent of employers say that reliability is a very or extremely important qualification for an entry-level job; it’s at the top of nearly everyone’s list. How do parents help their kids learn to be reliable—people whom others can trust to consistently do their best work?

One place to start is to teach kids the importance of practice. Kids practice to reach all kinds of goals—writing their names, dribbling a basketball, playing a song on the guitar. But they aren’t always motivated to practice, and they don’t always practice in the right way.

A highly effective and well-researched technique called deliberate practice allows you to repeatedly work on a mental or physical skill with the aim of getting better in the future. Research suggests that children as young as five can start to understand deliberate practice, and children and adolescents who engage in it make gains in school achievement and motor skills .

By encouraging them to engage in deliberate practice as they get older, we can help our kids achieve their goals.

What is deliberate practice?

According to researcher Lauren Eskreis-Winkler and her colleagues , shallow practice is how most people study—they practice what they already know while they are only partly focused, which is not particularly effective. In contrast, they explain, deliberate practice has four principles:

• Working on weaknesses: Rather than doing things that you already do well, deliberate practice focuses on the things that are hard for you. For example, you might replay the part of your trumpet solo with the hard high notes that you’ve been having trouble with, rather than the parts that you know well.
• Full concentration: Deliberate practice is difficult when you face distractions that make it hard to stay on task, like noise, social media, or people nearby. Instead of writing an essay with your phone beside you while hanging out with your friends, you might go to a quiet library and tuck your phone in your backpack.
• Feedback: Deliberate practice involves finding out what you got right and where you made mistakes by asking a teacher or coach or checking your work. For example, if you made mistakes on your long-division homework, you might review your work again and talk to your teacher about how you can solve those problems correctly in the future.
• Repetition until mastery: Deliberate practice requires you to keep working on your weaknesses, stay on task, and get feedback until you master your specific goal.

How to motivate kids toward deliberate practice

How do you motivate kids to engage in deliberate practice, which tends to be more demanding than shallow practice?

In multiple experiments, Eskreis-Winkler and her colleagues studied American middle schoolers between fifth and seventh grade, as well as college undergraduates. They randomly assigned adolescents from multiple schools to two groups: One group learned typical study skills, and the other group learned the difference between shallow practice and deliberate practice using animated videos, prompts for reflection, and short writing activities.

In some of the videos, people shared their experiences with how hard deliberate practice is and some tips on how to handle the challenge:

• Expect and be OK with failure: Famous people talked about how failure is a normal part of learning. They described having failed many times before they became successful and framed mistakes as a necessary part of deliberate practice that led them to their achievements.
• Tolerate feeling frustrated and confused: A student told his life story, from growing up poor and having trouble learning in elementary school to graduating from MIT. He shared that you make a lot of mistakes as you work on your weaknesses, which can be frustrating and confusing, but it means you’re in the “stretch zone.” Rather than thinking it’s a bad sign and time to give up, this is actually the time to keep going. People can learn to tolerate their frustration more and more with practice.
• Question your beliefs about talent: An actor, an athlete, and a musician talked about how practice led them to be successful in their different life goals—and none of them mentioned talent. People mistakenly think that talent is the most important factor because they don’t see all the hours of practice that go into people’s final performances—like an actor taking days to memorize lines, a swimmer waking up at dawn for months to practice the butterfly stroke, or a novelist writing for years to complete a manuscript.


 To solidify this lesson, the researchers showed adolescents anonymous quotes from other students that described their practice habits and preferences. For example, one quote said, “I thought the kids who were good at fractions were just smarter than me. But in the past couple of months, I realized that by doing deep practice, I could get just as many fraction problems right as they could. When I work hard and do deep practice on my fractions homework, I come to class being able to answer just as many problems as the other kids.”

Finally, the researchers asked the adolescents to write a short letter to other students who didn’t know about deliberate practice to communicate the significance of what they had learned. (The researchers explain that “one of the most effective ways to persuade a participant of a message is to have the participant advocate the message to others.” Research shows that this “saying-is-believing” effect influences their later memory and impression of the topic.)


The researchers found that these brief lessons motivated adolescents to engage in deliberate practice on math problems and improved their achievement in math, course grades, and GPA after one academic quarter.

If you want your kids to tap into these benefits, tell and show them how much you practice to work on goals, how you experience failure on an everyday basis, and how you tolerate frustration and confusion. Remind your kids about how their favorite soccer players or swimmers work with their coaches to get feedback. Encourage your children to talk to their siblings, cousins, or friends about how they use deliberate practice to prepare for their tap dance performance so that they can reap the benefits of the “saying-is-believing” effect.

“When I work hard and do deep practice on my fractions homework, I come to class being able to answer just as many problems as the other kids.”

Besides helping kids cope with how hard deliberate practice feels in the present, another way to motivate them is to encourage good feelings about their desired future—according to a study on how deliberate practice develops in children.

Melissa Brinums and her colleagues studied 120 Australian four to seven year olds. First, the researchers showed the children three games that they could play: golf, ring toss, or cup-and-ball. Then, they were told that they would later be tested on a target game (say, golf) and could win one sticker each time they scored.

The researchers randomly assigned the children to two groups. Before leaving the room for a few minutes, they told one group, “If you like, you can use this time to prepare for the test.” They told the other group, “If you like, you can use this time to play with any of the games.” When they returned, they asked the children which game they played the most, why, and what they could do to get better at the games.

The researchers measured how much deliberate practice children engaged in based on which game they chose to play first and how long they played the target game. They also used the children’s replies to their questions to gauge their understanding of practice. The kids earned a higher score if they talked about practicing, improving, or being persistent than if they talked about fun or luck or couldn’t answer the questions.

The results? Six and seven year olds both understood deliberate practice and engaged in it without being cued. Five year olds showed some understanding and sometimes deliberately practiced. Four year olds did not understand deliberate practice yet.

“These increases in understanding of and engagement in deliberate practice may be due to age-related improvements in cognitive capacities,” explain Brinums and her colleagues. Episodic foresight—the capacity to imagine the future and act accordingly—begins to develop in the preschool years and improves throughout childhood. Episodic foresight allows us to predict how the future might make us feel . Compared to the younger children, the older children were likely more motivated to practice because they were better able to envision being tested and feeling happy about earning stickers for scoring in the game.

Although preschoolers may not be able to forecast the future yet, parents can encourage their school-age kids—who aren’t eager to practice piano, for example—to imagine how being well-prepared will make them feel during an upcoming recital.

Ultimately, parents can support kids as they learn to value practice, whether it’s in school, at their first summer job, or within their family and community. Deliberate practice may not guarantee them a gold medal at the Olympics, but it can improve their performance so they do their personal best. And that will help them grow up to be someone others can depend on.

About the Author

Maryam Abdullah

Uc berkeley.

Maryam Abdullah, Ph.D., is the Parenting Program Director of the Greater Good Science Center. She is a developmental psychologist with expertise in parent-child relationships and children’s development of prosocial behaviors.

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How to Motivate your Child to do Homework: 5 Simple Ideas that work

For a lot of parents, the scariest thing would probably be their beloved school going child coming to their room with a bunch of undone home work sheets the night before their submission date. The second most scary thing would possibly be a ghost or something. After all, what could cause an adrenaline rush better? If your otherwise naughty child gives you puppy-dog eyes and comes with a giant smile plastered on their face, you don’t need any amusement park ride for an adventure; you know you’re in for an all-nighter or a hurried homework completion session.

If you’re a parent whose child often turns their back on homework and comes to you at the eleventh hour and barely manages to complete it, you’re not alone. Whether one likes to do it or not, homework constitutes an important part of one’s academic life. If your child is not the super rare, highly punctual, organised and academically high-spirited sort, you would know about the qualms associated with homework and the conflict it begets in families. So, how does one really inspire one’s child to get to successfully do their homework? To address the elephant in the room, we must first take a look at the ideas kids with different temperaments and personalities have towards homework and why they don’t find it worth completing.

A few of the reasons why children aren’t motivated to do their homework are:

• They are usual procrastinators who don’t want to know why it is given and how they would be benefited by it in the long term.
• They simply forget that they have been given homework.
• They are finding the space at home to be not so conducive for doing their homework and also think they lack the necessary technological support to aid them.
• They are overly attached to gadgets or playing video games because of which they don’t devote as much time to studying and completing the home work.
• They are more inclined towards activities outside of school, such as karate, yoga, music and painting classes or have a demanding schedule because of those pursuits.

The truth is, there is no ideal way of luring or tricking kids into doing their homework with temporary rewards like increased screen-time, gifting their expensively favourite video games or toys, or even the promise of buying them a swanky new bicycle. You most probably will see them going back to square one and ditching their homework as and when they’ve exhausted your captivating rewards.

As a concerned parent, the best thing that one can do is identify what’s causing kids to make faces when it comes down to home work. This is especially true in the context of maths homework. Given the fact that mathematics needs to be studied almost every day for students to be able to learn the sheer variety of concepts that it has, practice and timely homework are a must.

By dealing with the crux of kids’ aversion towards homework, parents can come up with a solution that permanently fixes the problem and motivates them to do their homework not just once, but consistently, without any crutches or attachment to rewards.

Tips to Motivate Your Child to do Homework

The following remedies might prove to be of great help if you’re a parent wanting to sweeten your child’s bitter relationship with homework.

Explaining to them the rationale behind regularly doing homework and its upside:

Most kids would think of homework as an unnecessary and painstaking activity. Parents can change this perception if they successfully show their kids that homework is meant for their greater good. Putting things on hold and lazing around is a natural human tendency, but becomes a source of tension when one keeps on postponing tasks. When kids persistently solve their homework maths problems every day, they’re hardwiring whatever they learn through doing their homework into their brain. By doing this, students won’t feel nearly as helpless or stressed on the day before their maths exam as they would otherwise, by finding themselves toppling with the weight of pending math homework. After all, it’s better to do the math little by little and then take the exam and have a fruitful aftermath!

Setting daily reminders for checking homework:

Let us admit. The best of us forgets to do things. While some kids may be masters of mischief and have an otherwise strong memory when it comes down to their monkey business, they may display a newly weakened memory when asked about their homework. It almost is like magic, and a great spell that can work to counteract this magic is reminders. Whether they are in the form of sticky notes pasted at spots where kids can see them or digital reminders found in your smartphones, you can use them to remind children about their homework. Even if your child is one that devotedly does his or her homework and genuinely forgets about it once in a while, reminders can and do help. If they are successful able to finish their homework, they’re eligible for a hearty praise that would further motivate them to do it in the future as well by giving them a sense of accomplishment.

Creating a tranquil atmosphere at home for kids to be able to study and approach you very easily:

A great deal of parents are completely aware of and keep a track of their child’s activities and progress in school. Sailing through a lot of personal, familial, professional and social obligations can be a task for anyone, but a responsible parent must pay heed to their little ones’ learning needs through it all. Let your kids relax for a while once they come back home from school. If you nag them and ask them to take to doing their homework while they’re still reeling from their schoolwork, it is going to backfire. Let them take a break and then you could talk to them about their homework.

Familial conflicts and halfhearted parenthood can create an environment in the house that is nowhere conducive to a child’s mental health, and could distract them from studying. A lot of mental calculation goes into doing maths homework, and parents must ensure a calm atmosphere in the house. Maybe your child is a shy one and maybe he or she needs more attention. Since kids won’t always tell you or talk to you about what’s bothering them or what they need, you need to pay attention to the little things such as the presence of ample of stationery items and geometric tools and calculators. Parents must take time out of their schedule and sit with their children and help them in their homework. They can and should try and explain to them basic concepts in the subject, if they ever need help at all. This would give two benefits. One would be of a bettered bonding between the parents and children and the other would be an increased interest in doing homework. ( Also Read: Understanding the Teenage Brain: What’s going on inside? .)

Limit their screen time to a healthy quantity:

The homes of a lot of people on the face of the earth today are laden with gadgets of different sorts. While it is understandable that kids in the present day revel and deserve to revel in entertainment that gaming consoles or smartphones and tablets provide, they must be taught well to exploit the functions of those devices that can enrich them in educational knowledge as well.

If kids continue to have unrestrained access to such devices, they will most likely be immersed in them irredeemably. This will most likely prevent them from doing their homework. Hence, parents must ensure that kids have a healthy amount of screen time and know when to intervene.

Even if a child is fond of playing outdoors with friends and takes little interest in studies, he/ she must be explained how physical activity is indeed a great thing, but one must devote their time to home work and studying as well. Knowing when to intervene in their kids’ activities and knowing how to do it softly yet triumphantly is one skill that the parents must conjure.

Create a well turned out timetable for managing kids’ extracurricular to create a balance between their school life and the life beyond school:

Parents almost always feel proud when their children take to learning things. It is commendable when one’s child excels at school, and parents find their hearts swelling with pride when he or she blooms even in the activities that they undertake while they’re not studying. One can learn to paint, to play the guitar or the piano, to learn to ride a horse, learn singing or even learn martial arts and a parent would only be proud. It does become a problem though when kids find themselves stretched in between and entangled in two things. To prevent kids from having a tiring schedule and to enable them to do their homework calmly, a carefully designed timetable will only help. Parents can sit with their kids and address the issue of time management. By making a time table, kids can devote the correct amount of time to whatever they are pursuing, while ensuring their homework and studying doesn’t take a hit.

Often, the strife created by incomplete homework pushes kids to be on the brink of tears. It also frustrates parents and at times leads to a face-off between the two parties. Realising that a child can be motivated to do their homework with steady and continual efforts is imperative for the parents. As a parent, if you feel your child is genuinely overwhelmed with homework even after having a shot at it, you know it’s time to talk to the teacher and see if the quantity of homework that he or she is giving in the school is the pink of their mental and physical health or is plainly excessive.

A robust quantity of homework is essential for your child, and he or she can be encouraged to do it with channeled efforts of yours sooner or later. Hold their hand whenever they need it, and you probably wouldn’t be too far from marveling at their academic transformation with regular homework.

7 Ways To Motivate A Kid With ADHD To Do Homework And Chores

Start by meeting your kid where they are — and really listen to what they’re telling you.

All parents fight with their kids to do their chores or homework, but with kids who have ADHD, it’s a whole other battle. Children with ADHD are neurologically wired to have difficulty starting and finishing tasks . They often struggle with executive functioning , a family of mental skills that includes the ability to plan, conceptualize, and execute goals. All of this means that completing everyday tasks such as homework and chores — or even getting up for school — can become major points of difficulty for some kids, and major points of conflict between them and their parents.

That doesn’t mean that the only option is to push your way through. For children (and adults) with ADHD, staying on task can sometimes be as easy as reframing the process using management and motivation styles that better fit their needs and are more suited to the way they think. While the same strategies won’t work for everyone, these seven tips are a great place to start figuring out the right setup to keep your kid with ADHD on task.

1. A Little Understanding Goes a Long Way

Start by meeting your kid where they are — and really listen to what they’re saying. When a child appears disinterested or unable to start a task or an assignment, try to identify anything that might be getting in their way. ADHD and anxiety often go hand in hand , and tasks can feel overwhelming if they’re long and complex, or they may bring up some underlying discomfort (like assignments from that one terrifying teacher). Once you know what obstacles your child is facing, you’ll be better poised to find ways to overcome them. And yes, being bored definitely counts as one of these obstacles.

2. Break Down Larger Goals

Maintaining focus and motivation over a long period of time is difficult for kids with ADHD — it’s like trying to remember your place in a book with pages that won’t stop flipping around. Plenty of projects can be broken down into discrete parts, and writing them down on a piece of paper or a whiteboard can help free up brain space and encourage your child to focus on one step at a time, says Carey Heller, Psy.D. , a Maryland-based psychologist who specializes in childhood and adolescent ADHD. Try finding a way to help your child unwind in between each step.

3. Encourage Routine

“Creating structure is really important,” Heller says. Small routines, like a pre-homework snack after school followed by a set reminder to do homework , can help create a familiar flow of activities that eliminates the need to spend mental energy on planning when to tackle heftier tasks.

Knowing when a change in activity is coming is also a huge boon for the ADHD brain, which can easily become fixated and difficult to redirect . “For example, if a child is reading for fun, or playing a game of some kind, suddenly being surprised by parents saying ‘It's time to do homework ’ may make them yell or react a little more strongly because of the difficulty shifting attention, rather than it being that they truly don't want to do it,” Heller says. If it’s a routine that game time stops at 5 p.m. everyday, switching away from that activity will likely be less of a fight.

4. Set Reminders

When it comes to ADHD , organization is key. Luckily, there’s no shortage of tools to help parents and children achieve it. For older kids with smartphones, using the reminder and calendar apps to break up tasks into to-dos and deadlines is just a matter of building the habit. For parents of younger children, or those who may not want their kids relying on screens to manage their planning, smart home devices can act as hands-free virtual assistants for even the tiniest of tots. Heller says he uses his own Amazon Echo to set reminders so often that his son was listing off his own tasks to the device at the age of 4. For a tech-free option, paper planners can be a huge help to older kids — some are even made specifically for those with ADHD . The best reminder system for your kid, Heller says, is whichever one they’ll use.

5. Add Rewards

It’s what we all want for a job well done — something to look forward to. There’s good evidence that the dopamine reward pathway — the portion of the brain that makes you feel good when you accomplish something — is disrupted in people with ADHD, leading to a deficit in the ability to motivate from within . Thankfully, there’s also evidence that for children under 12 , having an extrinsic reward, or something tangible to look forward to, can improve performance on a task.

For bigger projects, Heller suggests sprinkling rewards along the way. Which rewards work best is going to vary a ton from child to child, but options such as a favorite meal or quality time with a parent tend to be a hit in his office.

6. Embrace Fidgeting

Sure, your kid has to sit still at school. But at home, there’s no need to be so rigid. Heller swears by the strategy of “ harnessing fidgeting to improve focus .” Turn your kid’s desk into the most fun home office in the house with items like an under-desk elliptical, a balance board, or even a simple standing desk setup — find what clicks for them. Even something as simple as pacing the room while reading can help some kids with ADHD stay engaged.

7. Remember: You’re There to Guide

Helping your child manage their ADHD is all about “parenting for independence ,” Heller says. He encourages parents to develop strategies that their children and teens can take into adulthood and use themselves, rather than ones that require constant parental involvement. For younger kids, modeling certain routines and behaviors can be a huge push in the right direction.

This article was originally published on Aug. 16, 2022

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How to Help an 8-Year-Old with School Work

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When students are eight years old, they are transitioning from early elementary school to late elementary school, which means they're beginning to tackle more advanced concepts. In third grade, 8-year-olds learn multiplication, division and fractions. They are also asked to think more analytically about literature.

Helping Your 8-Year-Old with Homework

Ask comprehension questions.

Even if your child isn't struggling to understand the book that he's currently reading in class, it can be beneficial to reinforce comprehension through questions and summaries. Students generally become more engaged with a text if they make a personal connection with the story. Help your child draw parallels between his own life and the story by asking questions like, 'Does the main character remind you of anyone you know?'

By third grade, 8-year-olds are expected to infer a story's central message, which is often challenging for students. Ask guiding questions, such as 'Do you think the main character will make that mistake again?' or 'If you were the main character, what would you have done differently?' Questions like these can help students realize what the character learned from his or her experience.

Help your child become an active reader by asking him to summarize what he's read. If you notice that he can't recall the main events of the story, then he probably isn't reading closely enough. If necessary, ask your child to summarize each page of the story until he develops the habit on his own. You can also make this exercise fun by allowing your child to creatively summarize the story using drawings or by acting it out.

Use Math in Real Life

Sometimes students don't appreciate the importance of math because they don't see it being used in the real world. The next time you and your child eat at a restaurant, ask her to calculate the final bill. For instance, if you both ordered sodas at $2 each, then your child can use multiplication (2 x 2) to discover that the total will be $4.

Using a food item is often a great way to reinforce fractions to 8-year-olds because you can eat it after the lesson. Tell your child that you want to split a cookie with her. Ask her to cut it into halves. Explain that you each have 1/2 of the cookie.

Then, ask her to cut another cookie into thirds. Take two of the pieces and explain that you have 2/3 of the cookie. Help your child compare the fractions by asking, 'Who has more of the cookie?'

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Scripts to End Every Homework Fight

Steer your child through her nightly homework load — without being the bad guy or doing all the work — with these adhd-proof conversation guides..

The Homework Hurdles

Every child with ADHD experiences his or her own unique set of super powers and challenges. But one common thread unites all families living with attention deficit and learning disabilities: a hatred of homework .

The fact is, most parents in your shoes are exhausted from the repetitive fights, the missing assignments, and the hours and hours of wasted time. You know your child is smart and capable — which makes it extra frustrating when he delays starting a straightforward assignment, turns in work that’s incomplete, or forgets assignments altogether. Homework becomes a daily reminder of struggles and setbacks.

Taskmaster Trouble

When your child’s work doesn’t match up with his skills and intelligence, you might fall into the unrelenting role of “homework police.” As your child’s daily taskmaster, you’re nagging, poking, prodding, and cajoling on a nearly constant basis — which is awful for everyone. Micromanaging your child’s nightly workload won’t teach him any necessary life skills or help him learn. In fact, it’s likely to lead to resentment — and more homework fights in the long run!

A Better Role for Parents

“Strict supervisor” is not your only option. What you can (and should) do instead is set up routines and external structures that will help your child develop her executive functions and find the confidence to get her work done herself — without constant nagging . How can you do this? By providing guidance, offering support, and asking the right questions. Follow these scripts to get started on your healthier homework trajectory.

[ Free Download: Top 5 Homework Frustrations — and Fixes for Each ]

Script 1: Getting Organized

Did your child struggle with organization last year? Many parents adopt a “wait and see” strategy each fall, hoping their child “learned his lesson” from past slip-ups. This is wishful thinking — but not particularly helpful or productive. Instead, set up structure before the school year starts — and tweak it as the year progresses, and your child’s needs and skills shift.

Start with Transparency

What not to do: Walk into your child’s room and say, “Listen, buddy, there’s a new sheriff in town!”

Every good organization intervention begins with an open and honest conversation that’s positive and blame-free. Start by setting up a specific time to talk. Begin the dialogue calmly by saying something like, “Last year, we struggled with organization. I didn’t like nagging you all the time, and I’m sure you didn’t like it either. Let’s talk about some changes we can make this year to make it easier on both of us.”

Organization Strategies We Love

By actively soliciting your child’s input, you’re showing him that you understand his challenges and respect his autonomy. But you also need to suggest concrete changes that will actually help him get more organized. Following are a few of my favorites:

1. The Clean Sweep

Set up a recurring time — say every Sunday at 7 PM — when everyone in the family cleans up together. Your child can organize his backpack, while Mom goes through the mail, and Dad organizes the mud room. Getting everyone in on the routine makes organization feel like less of a punishment for your child, and the external structure of the recurring appointment will help him build his executive functions and develop stronger organization habits.

[ The ADHD Homework System We Swear By ]

2. The Homework Folder

The homework folders that help younger children remember to turn in assignments are often phased out in middle school. But a homework folder is a great tool for kids of any age — particularly those with ADHD who lose assignments constantly. It works like this: every incoming assignment goes in the left side of the folder, and upon completion it’s immediately placed in the right side. There, it’s easy to find once it’s time to turn it in — no more crumpled math worksheets or frantic phone calls home!

3. The Launch Pad

A launch pad is an area where your child can put everything she needs for school. This could be a box by the door or a set of hooks in the hallway or a special spot on the counter. Every night, before your child goes to sleep, help her get in the habit of putting everything she’ll need for school — backpack, shoes, jacket — on the launch pad. The next morning, there’s no scrambling; she simply picks up her stuff from its designated spot, and she’s ready for the school day!

Script 2: Setting Up a Homework Routine

“What’s the best time and place for kids to do homework?” I get this question a lot and the answer is not always satisfying: It really depends on where (and how) your child works best.

Try setting up multiple designated homework places — the dining room table, a home office, or the local library — that your child can move between as she pleases. If your child struggles to stay focused while doing homework in her bedroom, open up your discussion by suggesting some personal exploration. “Let’s try some other homework stations this year and see where you feel most productive,” you might say. Encourage your child to be a “detective” and make a game out of finding where she works best — you’ll teach her the skill of self-examination, and show that you trust her judgment of what she needs to be successful.

Helping Restless Kids

If your child squirms in his seat or can’t stop getting up during homework time, do not admonish him. Instead, help him redirect that energy by allowing him to work standing up, lying down, or while holding a small fidget toy . Children with ADHD tend to fidget as a way to relieve an internal pressure; by releasing that pressure through small constructive movements, they can actually focus better and be more productive. In other words, don’t fight the fidget!

Script 3: Getting Started

Getting started is often the hardest part of homework. If your child dillies and dallies after school — maybe struggling to disengage from a video game, or getting up to sharpen her pencil over and over again — help her understand her priorities and give her the push she needs to get started. But instead of demanding, “Why haven’t you started your homework?” try asking, “What are your priorities today?” This question will help a child figure out what she has to do first — instead of getting overwhelmed and shutting down.

Setting Up Structure

Instead of asking, “Did you study for your science test?” — which often elicits a one-word answer — try asking this: “What’s the first thing you can do to get ready for your test on Thursday?” You’ll help your child think critically about what can and should be done, without letting him off the hook from studying altogether. Another good question is, “What could get in your way?” This way, if your child has an upcoming soccer game, or knows he left his textbook at school, he can anticipate problems ahead of time — and figure out strategies for working around them.

Script 4: Estimating Time

Your child insists that her diorama will only take 30 minutes to build; it ends up taking more than three hours. Children with ADHD don’t procrastinate and underestimate time on purpose. Their internal clocks are quiet or easily stalled, making it difficult to estimate time. If this sounds familiar, try asking your child at the outset, “How long do you think this will take?” Once he’s done with the assignment, discuss how long it actually took — and help him identify which steps slowed him down the most or caused him to exceed his estimate. Next time, ask him to factor in those trouble spots before he starts and, as time goes on, he’ll get better at estimating how much time he actually needs.

Planning for Long-Term Assignments

Daily work is one thing; long-term projects are daunting and confusing in their own special way. If your child struggles to break down big assignments, try creating external rewards to be doled out when he reaches small, pre-determined milestones. If your child likes baseball or Pokémon cards, for instance, try breaking a new pack of cards into four parts. Tell him, “When you finish the research for your paper, you can have one pile. When you finish your first draft, you can have the second” — and so on. Physical rewards help kids with ADHD turn the abstract concepts of time and prioritization into something concrete — and motivate them to get their work done.

Script 5: Solving Procrastination Problems

Kids with ADHD have a very short “time horizon” — that is, they don’t look far into the future. And the shorter your time horizon, the harder it is to plan ahead and set up long-term goals. If your child has a big project due on Friday, but insists, “Don’t worry — I don’t need to start until Thursday,” that’s a red flag. But starting on Monday will never work because that doesn’t sync up with her time horizon. So start small by asking, “How about you start on Wednesday instead?” and set up structures to help make that happen. Ask her what would help the most — guidance with the first step, a friendly reminder, and/or time carved out on the family calendar — to start that assignment on time.

Talking Openly

Verbalizing your child’s experiences and empathizing with his struggles goes a long way toward helping him manage procrastination. If your child is delaying homework time more than usual, try saying, “I can tell getting started is hard for you today. What can I do to help?” Instead of blaming and shaming — “You’re still on the first problem?! But you have violin practice in 20 minutes!” — this approach shows you understand that his brain is facing ADHD barriers. By identifying his feelings and brainstorming ways to help, he’ll be better equipped to set up his own systems.

[ How to Focus After 4: Defying Homework Distractions ]

Bonus Resources

For more scripts, tips, and resources, visit Ann Dolin’s website, ectutoring.com !

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Tips and Strategies to Help Motivate an Unmotivated Kid

Skip the “motivational talk” and try these effective strategies instead.

By Sanya Pelini, Ph.D.

Published on: march 29, 2021.

Have you ever spent more hours than you should putting off something you hate doing? We all have. The truth is, lack of motivation is an issue that affects everyone, but it can be particularly difficult to deal with in kids. The problem is, the absence of motivation in children gets worse with time and can follow them into adulthood.

It is said that motivation must originate from the heart, and that most of the attempts to motivate kids actually demotivate them. While the latter is true, the former has been proven wrong on many occasions. Researchers and psychologists such as Carol Dweck have shown that the use of certain words and the adoption of certain practices can help the unmotivated child.

If you are struggling with unmotivated kids, you know by now that telling them that they “need to work harder” does not increase their motivation. However, years of research on motivation have resulted in some useful strategies every parent with an unmotivated child needs to know about:

1. Take an interest in your child’s interests.

We all like doing things we find interesting, and children are no different. They will be more motivated when pursuing activities they enjoy.

• Observe your kids to discover where their interests lie.
• Show interest in their interests, even if those enthusiams differ from what you would like them to be interested in.
• Find ways to link their interests with the other skills you would like them to develop. For instance, comics can be a great way to practice reading skills and gain new knowledge; or encouraging your child to practice music lessons with a friend can help motivate an unmotivated child.

2. Remember that success is everyone’s innate desire.

Unless they’re dealing with specific and often undetected disabilities, most people want to succeed in the activities they undertake. Repeated failure can therefore give rise to frustration and discouragement and can lead to behavior such as tantrums or even constant anger and anxiety.

Children who encounter too much failure can develop learned helplessness, which means that they may learn to perceive themselves as failures. In other words, children may lose their motivation because of a lack of confidence in their ability to achieve specific goals. It is this lack of confidence that can drive behavior such as avoidance, stress, “laziness” and an apathetic attitude.

• Ensure that your kids have opportunities for success.
• Help your children view themselves as a successful person by talking about their successes.
• Set reasonable expectations with challenging but achievable tasks.
• Make sure your children know exactly what is expected of them. For instance, if your unmotivated kids often struggle with homework, make it a habit to go over and explain what is expected every time they have homework.

3. Provide opportunities to motivate your child.

My son developed an interest in creating video games after watching videos developed by kids his age. 

• Exposing your children to others’ achievements in their fields of interest is a good way to motivate them. However, this does not mean comparing your kids to others or expecting them to achieve the same goals as others.
• Remember that providing opportunities to see others succeed — which can be achieved through watching movies, reading books and stories, etc. — can help reduce your child’s lack of motivation.

4.  Don’t give them the “motivational talk.”

One thing science (and no doubt many parents!) has found over the years is that the “motivational talk” rarely works. Despite your best intentions, talking to your kids about the importance of effort is not likely to make them change their ways.

• Instead of focusing on past performance, focus on future performance — “What do you think you can do differently?”
• Instead of speaking for your children, encourage them to assess their performance by themselves. Remember that there are several age-appropriate resources capable of helping your children reflect on their performance and develop a growth mindset .
• Instead of the motivational talk, let your children know that you know they have what it takes. You could say something like “You just haven’t figured it out yet, but I know you will.”

5. Offer encouragement and support.

It’s normal to get frustrated when our kids show a lack of motivation. Not knowing how to motivate them gets us even more frustrated! The important point to remember is that there may be a number of reasons for kids’ lack of motivation: lack of confidence, lack of participation in decisions concerning them (when homework should be done, when video games can be played, the consequences of not sticking with expectations, etc.), frustration, disappointment, among others.

• Everyone experiences failure and most people experience failure repeatedly before they achieve success. Talk to your children about your own failures. Let them understand that failure is a part of life. Let them know that our failures do not define us — they make us stronger. Successful failures abound, such as those encountered by people who went on to become the celebrities they are today. Talk to your children about those failures. 
• Comment on the positive changes you observe in your kids even if those changes do not immediately lead to an improvement. If you notice your children putting in greater effort, tell them. If you see them trying harder, acknowledge it. If you observe them trying a different approach, let them know you’ve noticed. Remember, though, to praise the effort and not the child.

6. Don’t forget that kids will be kids.

Wouldn’t it be great if our kids responded to our every instruction and did things exactly (or even better) than expected? The reality is that kids do not have the same conception of things as adults. They do not necessarily understand why they have to learn about certain things and telling them those things are important is unlikely to change their perception.

• Find ways to make whatever your children are learning interesting. If they're taking music lessons for example, working on a song they like may be more motivating than having to stick to a specific workbook.
• There are so many ways to learn the same thing. There are good movies that teach history; your kids can be taught to count using Legos; children’s executive function skills can be developed through fun “color, cut and glue” activities. If your child has a hard time staying focused or interested in a particular activity, try different ways to tackle the same activity.
• Remember that kids will always be more motivated by things they enjoy, and that’s hardly surprising. Cut your children some slack and let them enjoy the things they like. Remember that expecting certain things from your kids can cause more harm than good.
• Don’t let criticism and disappointment be the only things your children remember of their childhood.
• Change your perception of your child’s behavior. Some procrastination and a lack of motivation are normal in kids and adults alike. Why would your child be any different?

7. Focus on your child’s strengths.

There is evidence that strength-based parenting can help increase your child’s happiness and satisfaction in ways you never thought possible.

• Place your child’s strengths at the center of your parenting approach. Remember that children need to encounter success (even in a few fields) rather than to perceive themselves as mediocre in all fields.
• Even the most destructive children can undergo a transformation once they find where their strengths lie. Do not forget that recognizing your children’s strengths helps build their self-esteem.

8. Be willing to give up the driver’s seat.

Why is kids’ motivation such a big issue? Why do teachers and parents struggle to motivate kids? Science says that one of the main reasons we struggle with our children’s motivation is because we want to “dictate” everything that they should do. We want to dictate when they should do their homework, when they can watch TV or play video games, when they can see friends and so on. But here’s the thing: The more kids feel that they have no say in decisions that concern them directly, the less likely they are to stick to those decisions, and there is evidence to prove that.

• Don’t do everything for your kids — you’ll only teach them to become dependent.
• Letting your children participate in the decision-making process will work wonders for their motivation.
• Remember that negotiation is a powerful tool that can help resolve your family’s conflicts and reduce power struggles.

9. Be clear about what is non-negotiable.

Did you know that science has found that your expectations have a great impact on your child’s behavior and performance? The problem is, our kids do not always know what is expected of them because we don’t always clearly voice our expectations.

• Be clear about what is non-negotiable and let your children know what is expected of them. If they are not allowed to drop an activity until a specific period is over (for instance one semester/one school year), let them know before they sign up. However, be flexible — if the activity is really making them miserable, be willing to negotiate.
• If you expect your children to participate in household chores, let them know, but remember that you’re bound to get more by allowing them to choose, to a certain extent, the chores they take on.

10. Seek professional help.

One thing we rarely hear about concerning kids’ lack of motivation is that it may point to undiagnosed learning disorders or attention-related problems.

• Certain disorders can manifest themselves in behavior such as lack of motivation, procrastination and major difficulties in concentration. The problem with these disorders is that they can lead your child to give up because of constant failure.

Do not hesitate to contact a professional if you feel overwhelmed by your child’s lack of motivation. A professional will help you determine whether or not your child has a learning disorder or other issues and, more importantly, how you can help that child.

No one said motivating your child will be easy, especially if you are dealing with a long-existing problem. Do not forget that changing habits takes time. Celebrate your successes and don’t lose heart when progress seems slow.

Editor’s note: This article was first published several years ago and was most recently updated in January 2024. 

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Share this resource with your friends, about the author.

Sanya Pelini is a parent and researcher in education. She is passionate about child development issues and holds a Ph.D. in educational research. She transforms educational research into practical tools and resources on her blog Raising Independent Kids .

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How to Motivate Teenagers to Do Their Homework

Last Updated: February 8, 2021

This article was co-authored by Klare Heston, LCSW . Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR). This article has been viewed 171,688 times.

It is pretty common for teenagers to hate doing homework. They would much rather hang out with their friends or play video games. This can be very frustrating to parents. Fortunately, there are many things to help your teenager be more motivated and even enthusiastic to complete their homework.

Providing Structure

• Doing homework at the kitchen table or a desk in the office or living room will provide them with enough space to complete their work.

• For example, your teen has baseball practice immediately following school. He doesn’t get home until 5:00. Your family eats dinner at 6:00. So, the best time for him to complete his homework is at 7:00.

• Ask your child’s teacher for recommendations on a good tutor in your area.

• For example, if your teenager is having a hard time understanding geometry but understands basketball, consider taking a geometry lesson to the basketball court. Help your teenager understand different triangles by using your bodies and the basketball hoop to represent the different corners of a triangle. What happens to the triangle if one of you step further away from the basketball hoop?
• Watch an interesting historical movie or documentary about a topic that your child is learning in history class.

Be a Presence at School

• Schedule a parent/teacher conference.
• If your job or schedule doesn’t allow you to actively participate, be sure to attend at least one conference yearly and stay up to date with the school newsletter.

• For example, your teenager just received their midterm grade in math and they have a D. They have three weeks to bring their grade up before their next report card. Have a conversation with your teen by asking them what they need to do to bring their grade up. If they say that they need to study more, suggest that they bring home their math book each day and spend at least 30 minutes studying what they went over in class that day.
• Ask your teenager if they have any missed assignments or tests.

• Consider using technology to set reminders for your teenager. Set calendar reminders on your phone and sync it to their phone. There are also several family management apps that may help.

Achieving Goals

• For example, a short-term academic goal may be to raise their history grade from a C to an B this grading period. A long-term goal may be to eliminating C’s from their report card or getting a few A’s in their strongest subjects.
• Have the teenager write them down and evaluate progress as the semester continues.

• Pay them for their report cards. Pay a set dollar amount per A on your teenager’s report card.
• Offer them a weekly allowance for staying on track with their schoolwork. Treat their schoolwork as a real job. If they do their job, they get paid.
• Consider extending their weekend curfew as a reward for improved grades on their report card.

• Be prepared to answer questions like, “Why do I need to learn algebra? I don’t want to be a math teacher and no one else uses algebra every day.” Give them clear examples of the algebra that you use every day, like when you pay your bills or do your taxes.

• Instead of saying, “Great job on your science fair project!” say something like, “Look at that science project! I can tell that you spent a lot of time making it look so great. Doesn’t it feel good to get such a good grade?”

Expert Q&A

• Give them the space that they need to achieve success on their own. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
• Support them throughout their school career. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
• Teenagers with special needs like ADHD may need modifications to how they do their homework, such as playing music in the background. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
• Your teenager may fail. Let them learn from this. Thanks Helpful 6 Not Helpful 0

You Might Also Like

• ↑ https://www.verywell.com/tips-on-getting-teens-to-do-their-homework-2606505
• ↑ http://kidshealth.org/en/parents/school-help-teens.html?WT.ac=p-ra#
• ↑ https://understandingteenagers.com.au/the-7-secrets-of-motivating-teenagers/
• ↑ https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/end-the-nightly-homework-struggle-5-homework-strategies-that-work-for-kids/#

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Home / Expert Articles / Child Behavior Problems / School & Homework

How To Motivate Your Homeschool Child

By kimball lewis.

Do you homeschool your kids? Recently, a reader wrote in with this question about her 13-year-old daughter, who thinks being homeschooled means she can do work whenever she wants to.

“I know EmpoweringParents.com has written about how to get kids to do their homework, but we have a unique situation. We homeschool our two children, and while my son does his work just fine, my 13-year-old daughter refuses to do any work at all! She won’t even get up in the morning. She says that because she is homeschooled, she can work whenever and wherever she wants! I’ve tried to give her the freedom to structure her day, but she still doesn’t get her work done. She’s falling behind, and when I try to get her interested in something, she just blows up at me. I can’t just let her fail, but I am working so much harder than she is. My house is a battle zone all day long, and I’m afraid my son will start to pick up her habits. What can I do?”

Homework and school behavior are often on the top of the list of concerns when parents contact us. Most of our parenting advice talks about the importance of structure and enlisting the aid of teachers and other school officials to help your child improve their behavior. But what happens when you are the teacher, the principal — and the school nurse?

Work on One Behavior at a Time

Sit down with your kids and let them know what you expect of them during their school day. You might even tell them what you’ve seen them do well. Then, choose one or two behaviors you’d like them to improve or change. Help them figure out what they will do, specifically, to help them meet your expectations. Aim for specific, measurable improvements, not vague suggestions.

For example, telling your child you need to get better at following directions is a vague request, and you may not get the results you’d like. Instead, say something like this to your child:

“I need to see that you are out of bed, dressed, and ready for your English assignment by 8:30 every morning. When you are at the table and ready on time, you’ll earn half an hour of movie time that night.”

Tell your child that if they’re late or argue, they won’t earn that time. And talk with them about what they can do differently to help reach this goal. If your child fails to meet your expectations, you can remind them that they already know what to do differently to earn their privileges, and it is up to them to make those changes.

Motivate Your Child With Their Currency

As parents, we know the importance of education. We often try to get our kids to understand this importance and to take their schoolwork seriously. The truth is, kids don’t care about schoolwork the way that grown-ups do. As much as we might want to, we can’t make them care about math or science or literature. Homeschooling parents don’t have report cards or in-school suspensions to help them to force kids to take their work or their behavior seriously, either.

To more effectively convince your child to take their school day seriously, you need to use something that they value to get them to do what you value. Sit down with your kids and come up with a menu of rewards and consequences. Find out from your child what they would like to earn every day. It doesn’t have to be anything too large or extravagant it could be daily computer time, more unstructured free time, or even a later bedtime. Focus on short-term, daily privileges, not long term or big-ticket items. Understand that far off rewards are not enough of a motivation to create change in daily performance.

We often hear from parents who try to force their kids to complete their work by threatening the loss of special events or giving them additional chores to complete if they don’t behave appropriately. Just remember that you can’t punish kids into better behavior. And, if you give them an additional chore as punishment for not doing their schoolwork, you may find that you have a whole new power struggle over getting them to complete that chore!

Find out what your kids value, allow them to earn that valuable item each day, and you may find that your school day goes much more smoothly.

Don’t Start Your Day with a Power Struggle

Electronics are often a high-interest item for kids and teens. In our EmpoweringParents.com articles on homework issues, we suggest letting your child earn time with electronics only after specific work is completed within a specific time frame.

In a homeschool family, you may find that electronics are best kept off limits until the entire school day is done. Some kids have tried to convince their parents to let them play with video games or the computer before they do any school work, only to refuse to turn the electronics o􀃗 when mom or dad says it’s time to get to work.

Some parents allow their children to take a break within the school day to play video games. Certainly, if that works for your family, you don’t need to change it. But if a midday game break makes your afternoon more difficult, you may want to find another activity for your child. Keep those high-interest items off-limits until the end of the day.

Use Daily Privileges and Rewards

Let your child earn their privileges – time that can be cashed in when the day’s work is completed. For example, let your child know they will earn 30 minutes of electronics time when they have finished the morning school work. In addition, they have an opportunity to earn a second 30 minutes when they complete their afternoon work.

Splitting up your rewards can also help improve compliance if your child has a rough morning, remind them they have another chance to pull it together for the afternoon. You may find that your child will improve their behavior when they know they get a second chance. It’s true that there may be days when your child does not complete their work and don’t earn their privileges for that day. Let them know that tomorrow is a new day, and they get a chance to try again.

Are You Too Busy for Rewards?

Some homeschool families tell us their lives are so hectic, they don’t have any unstructured free time, and their kids have no time for rewards or privileges. If you’ve set up your daily life so that there is no free time, you may have difficulty getting compliance out of your children when they decide to dig in their heels.

Remember, you need to use something that they value to get them to do something you value. Is there any room for an extra half hour or so of free time in your homeschool day? Ask your children what they might like as a privilege — you may find that it is something as simple as an extra half-an-hour of time before bed.

Let Them Earn More Freedom

Homeschool parents often tell us that their child refuses to follow the family’s schedule, making every day an ongoing struggle. Usually, the child will say things like, “I’ll do my work after you let me do what I want.” Or they may say, “You can’t make me do it your way.”

Remember, power struggles are a normal part of child development. There is no need to convince your child that your way is right and their way is wrong. You don’t need to attend that fight. Instead, calmly let your child know that doing work independently is a privilege, not a right, and they will need to earn that privilege.

Let your child know that you need to see them comply with your schedule before you are willing to give them a chance to do it on their own. When they can show you they can complete their work consistently and appropriately for a few days in a row, let them experiment with their schedules.

If they manage to complete the work on their own, they can continue at their own pace. If they start slipping, let them know you will go back to your original structure until they can be successful for a few more days in a row. Step by step, they can earn their independence.

Whatever rules and structures you put in place, be sure that your child knows what they are. Write them down and put them on the refrigerator. And if you are implementing consequences, don’t be alarmed if you get the desired effect immediately. It can sometimes take a few weeks for kids to come around. Just be patient and give your changes time to work. And be sure to notice and let them know when they’ve had a good day.

Related content: “My Child Refuses to Do Homework” — How to Stop the Nightly Struggle Over School Work

About Kimball Lewis

Kimball Lewis is the CEO of EmpoweringParents.com. In addition to his leadership and management roles, he contributes as an editor, a homeschooling expert, and a parent coach. He resides in Orlando, Florida, with his wife and two teenage sons. He is the host of The Empowering Parents Podcast ( Apple, Spotify, Google, Stitcher ) .

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Responses to questions posted on EmpoweringParents.com are not intended to replace qualified medical or mental health assessments. We cannot diagnose disorders or offer recommendations on which treatment plan is best for your family. Please seek the support of local resources as needed. If you need immediate assistance, or if you and your family are in crisis, please contact a qualified mental health provider in your area, or contact your statewide crisis hotline.

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• 1. The Homework Battle: How to Get Children to Do Homework
• 2. "My Child Refuses to Do Homework" — How to Stop the Nightly Struggle Over Schoolwork
• 3. What to Do When Your Child or Teen is Suspended or Expelled From School
• 4. Acting Out in School: When Your Child is the Class Troublemaker
• 5. Young Kids in School: Help for the Top 4 Behavior Problems
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