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IELTS Band 9 Essays

Do you know the difference between an IELTS Band 6 essay and an IELTS Band 9 essay for Writing Task 2?

Most IELTS students don’t, and this is what prevents them from getting the scores they need.

What does an IELTS Band 9 Essay look like?

An IELTS Band 9 Essay is one that shows the examiner that you are an expert user of English.  The official IELTS scale describes an expert user in the following way:

“The test taker has fully operational command of the language. Their use of English is appropriate, accurate and fluent, and shows complete understanding.”

In writing, this means you need to achieve a band 9 in each of the four IELTS marking criteria:

Task response

  • Coherence and cohesion

Lexical resource

Grammatical range and accuracy.

Here is a description of the marking criteria for an IELTS Band 9 Essay for Writing Task 2:

That’s quite complex, so I’ve simplified it for you:

  • Answer all parts of the question
  • Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Coherence and Cohesion

  • Organise your ideas in logical paragraphs
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Use cohesive devices (also known as ‘linking words’) accurately
  • Don’t use too many or too few cohesive devices
  • Vary your cohesive devices by using synonyms
  • Try to vary your vocabulary, using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common topic-specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Use a variety of appropriate structures
  • Check your writing for errors

If you want to know more about the marking criteria for other bands, you can download the full Writing Task 2 band descriptors here.

Watch my video below for the biggest differences between an IELTS Band 6 Essay and an IELTS Band 9 Essay.

ielts essay 9 band sample

Opinion essay  

Band 9 essay sample  .

To see a lesson on the question above, click here .

Discussion essay  

Band 9 essay sample , problems and solutions essay  , advantages and disadvantages essay  .

There are two types of advantages and disadvantages questions:

  • Type 1 – Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.
  • Type 2 – Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

For more information about these two types of questions, have a look at our page here .

Band 9 Essay Sample (Type 1) 

Band 9 essay sample 1 (type 2) .

To see a lesson on both of the questions above, click here .

Double Question essay  

Band 9 essay sample, what about task 1  what does a band 9 task 1 answer look like for ielts academic and ielts general training.

Just like for Task 2, a Band 9 Task 1 answer needs to show the examiner that the test taker is an expert user of English who can respond fully to all of the marking criteria.  

For more information about how to write a Band 9 Task 1 answer, have a look at our page for Writing Task 1 . 

If you’d like to see the marking criteria for IELTS Task 1, you can download a full description here .

For more about the difference between IELTS Academic and IELTS General, check out our page about IELTS preparation here or this page on the official IELTS website .

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7 IELTS Essay Samples of Band 9 Students

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Is it even possible to write a Band 9 essay in IELTS?

Well, it is certainly possible. In fact, not only have I scored a band 9 in writing myself, I have also helped several of my students score band 9 in writing too. If you want to learn the art and science behind scoring an IELTS writing Band 9 (or if you just want to improve your score by a few bands), read on.

Every day we receive 100's of IELTS essays for correction from our students. Our experienced IELTS tutors go over every single word of the essay and mark them based on the criteria specified in the IELTS Band Score Descriptors.

Since a lot of IELTS students struggle in the writing section, we thought we would list out the IELTS Band 9 essay samples that we have seen from our IELTS Twenty20 Course students so far. An important thing to note is that the students who wrote these essays went through several feedback rounds with other essay topics where they perfected the art of writing a good IELTS Task 2 essay. So don't get intimidated if you think you cannot write such essays. Everyone struggles with it and it takes time to improve.

But, before we look at the IELTS Band 9 essay samples, let's first understand how to write the perfect IELTS essay.

How to write an IELTS Band 9 essay?

In IELTS Writing Task 2, you are given brief details of an opinion, an argument or a problem, and have to produce an extended piece of discursive writing (an essay) in response.

You need to write at least 250 words and should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Let's look at a step by step process on how to write a great writing task 2 essay every time ... no matter what the topic.

ielts essay 9 band sample

What are the different types of IELTS essays?

Understand the IELTS writing task 2 marking criteria

When IELTS examiners mark your essays they refer to the IELTS writing band descriptors . Here's what the band descriptors mean in plain English.

Identify the main topic of the essay

  • If you incorrectly identify the main idea then you  CANNOT  score above Band 4.
  • If you present a main idea that is not sufficiently developed and supported by examples then you  CANNOT  score above Band 6.

Identify all parts of the task

  • If you address only some parts of the task and not others then you  CANNOT  score above Band 5.
  • Even if you identify all parts of the task correctly but fail to cover each of them fully you  WILL NOT   be able to score above Band 6.

Present a position/opinion

  • If you do not express a clear position then you  CANNOT  score above Band 5.
  • If you do not write a conclusion at the end you  CANNOT  score above Band 5.
  • If your conclusion is unclear or repetitive then you  CANNOT  score above Band 6.

In other words, if you want to score Band 7+, you need to consistently, accurately and appropriately demonstrate the use of all 4 points highlighted above.

Did you think that was all ... nope there's more ...

Even if you do all of the above there is still a chance that you may not be able to score above Band 7. In order to really ensure Band 7+ you need to master  the 4 C’s of Essay Writing .

The 4 C's of Essay Writing

Cohesion  - refers to words and phrases that help link ideas together.For example:

  • Because of this ....
  • It is clear that ...
  • It can be seen ... etc.

Conciseness  - Long sentences do not mean more marks. Run-on sentences will often cause you to lose marks in this area. There are three sentence structures you should be using:

  • Simple sentence  - Contains a subject and a verb and expresses a complete thought. For Example - The teacher returned the homework.
  • Complex sentences  -  Has an independent clause (simple sentence) joined by one or more dependent clauses (cannot stand alone as a sentence) For Example - The teacher returned the homework after she noticed the error.
  • Compound sentences  - Two simple sentences joined by a coordinator (ex. for, and, or, yet, so). For Example - The teacher returned the homework so everyone got to go home early.

Coherence  - How easy is your essay to understand? In order to improve your coherence, proper grammar is a must. You are not there while the essay is being marked, so your ideas need to be clear and easy to understand. Using the cohesive phrases mentioned earlier, can improve the coherence of your essay.

Composition  - The structure of your essay (introduction paragraph, 2-3 body paragraphs, and a conclusion paragraph). A good introduction includes a little background on the topic, a thesis statement, and a preview of the 2-3 main points of your essay. Each body paragraph should include a topic sentence illustrating your point, an example of your point and how it ties into your topic sentence, as well as a concluding sentence that ties this point into your thesis.

Conclusions should reiterate your two or three main ideas from your body paragraphs an restate your thesis again using different words than before. To end your conclusion, you should give a prediction or recommendation on the essay topic.

Note: Remember a proper paragraph has at least 3-4 sentences. Each paragraph should revolve around a main idea, and when you start a new idea, you should start a new paragraph.

How to identify the main topic and all parts of the IELTS essay?

This tutorial will teach you the key steps to identify the main topic and all parts of the IELTS Writing Task 2 question.

Follow the 3 steps mentioned in the video and you will never go wrong.

How to brainstorm and organise your ideas for IELTS writing task 2?

Once you have identified the topic and question parts for your writing task, the next step is to brainstorm ideas that should become part of your essay. In order to get a good band score it is not enough to just create a list of ideas - you need to extend and explain each of those ideas in detail. Lets look at our example from before:

This tutorial will teach you how to brainstorm and extend your ideas for IELTS Writing Task 2 question.

Tips for writing an IELTS band 9 essay

Here's a check list for Writing Task 2. Follow this check list and you are guaranteed to score Band 7+ in IELTS Writing.

  • First off, read & understand the topic of the essay for Writing Task 2.
  • Identify all the key parts of the question.
  • Brainstorm and organise your ideas to ensure that each of your ideas is fully explained and well supported with examples.
  • If the question asks for your opinion, make sure you state it clearly and you don’t contradict that view throughout the rest of the essay.
  • Learn the structure of an essay: Introduction , body paragraphs, conclusion
  • Do not copy the question word for word for your introduction or else those words will be deducted from your total word count. Instead always paraphrase the question in your own words.
  • You MUST write a conclusion/overview at the end. Don’t add new information in your conclusion. Instead, rephrase your key points, and give a strong ending sentence that ties everything together.
  • Always write in a formal tone and use it consistently throughout the essay.
  • Do not use bullet points or short notes.
  • Use a wide range of grammatical structures and vocabulary.
  • Remember to follow the 4 C's of essay writing.
  • Practice and learn synonyms so your writing has a range of vocabulary and does not become repetitive.
  • Write at least 250 words. Anything less, you will lose marks.Ideally the essay should be about 250-280 words.
  • Write neatly, as the person who is marking your essay should be able to easily read and understand what you have written.
  • Do Task 2 first, as it is worth twice as much as Task 1, so priority should be placed here.

Practice makes perfect. Write as many practice essays as you can, and have them marked by an English teacher for mistakes.

  • Practice timing yourself at home, and stick to the allotted time for each section. During the real test, bring a watch and manage your time carefully.
  • Check your writing. If you finish with extra time, look over your essay for any spelling, grammar, or other mistakes you might find.

Popular Topics for Writing Task 2

Topics for IELTS writing task 2 are usually related to some issue or problem that is currently affecting society and you need to discuss it. In recent IELTS exams, topics have mostly dealt with:

  • Environment
  • Animal rights
  • The Internet

Frequently asked questions about IELTS Writing Task 2

Q: Will I lose marks if I write too many words (400-500) in my essay? 

A: There is no penalty for writing more than 250 words for writing task 2. However, there are also no extra marks for writing more. In fact, the more you write, the more you may end up making spelling or grammar mistakes. It is much better to write around 280 words within 35 minutes and spend the last 5 minutes reviewing your work for mistakes.

Q: Will I lose marks if my handwriting is very poor? 

A: In IELTS, handwriting does not affect your scores directly. The scoring rubric does not have any points for handwriting. However, it affects your score indirectly. i.e if your handwriting is illegible, the examiner will think that you have misspelled a word and will mark you lower on lexical resources. The examiner will not give you the benefit of doubt if she is not sure about the words you have written.

Moreover, handwriting also affects the overall impression on the examiner. Remember that IELTS examiners are humans and like all humans they form their first impressions looking at your handwriting. The clearer your work, the better first impression you will make on the examiner.

Click here for recent IELTS exam topics and questions from all over the world

Finally, here are the 7 examples of band 9 essays.

IELTS Writing Sample Essay 1 -Fresh water demand causes and measures

IELTS Writing Sample Essay 2 - Forests are the lungs of the earth

IELTS Writing Sample Essay 3 - Job and money

IELTS Writing Sample Essay 4 - Aim of University Education

IELTS Writing Sample Essay 5 - International Tourism

IELTS Writing Sample Essay 6 - Image is a more powerful way of Communicating

IELTS Writing Sample Essay 7 - Work or travel between finishing high school and starting university

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IELTS Model Essay Score 9 for Direct Questions

This is an estimated band score 9 model for an IELTS writing task 2 direct questions essay. This model essay shows you how to answer each question directly and how to organise the answers into paragraphs.

Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? What other factors contribute towards happiness?

Money is considered by many people to be one of the most important contributing factors towards happiness. In my opinion, it is possible for people to be happy even if they have little money and other aspects of life can play a more vital role in creating happiness.

Although having money brings happiness to a lot of people, it does not necessarily follow that people without money are, therefore, unhappy. Take for example the comparison between developing and developed countries, most Westerners would agree that people in developing countries are happier, enjoy stronger family connections and take more pleasure in the simplicities of life to a greater extent than those in developed countries.

One way that people can gain happiness is through their work. For instance, a doctor doing volunteer work in underdeveloped countries may have very little money but the reward of helping people and doing the job they are good at, brings happiness in itself. In other words, happiness can be found by using skills that people are trained for and through job satisfaction.

Finally, another factor influencing happiness is having supportive and loving people in one’s life.  While money may bring the opportunities to enjoy pleasures, few people would enjoy them on their own. Being surrounded by a loving and caring family is considered by most people to be more valuable than any amount of money.

In conclusion, money is not essential for happiness, which can be found through job satisfaction as well as family. If more people strived in life towards true happiness rather than money, the world would be a better place.

Comments: Your task is to give an answer to both questions and no more. Each question may have one or two main points to answer it. Your essay should never have more than 3 body paragraphs. You can see that in this IELTS model essay, the first body paragraph is answering the first question and the second question is answered with two main points in two different body paragraphs. Words = 275 (an appropriate length for writing task 2)

Recommended Lessons

Model Opinion Essay: click here IELTS Writing Task 2 Practice Essay Questions: click here

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Trust you are doing fine, how is your health, I really wish you could do another video. If its possible to have a virtual session with you on just checking up on you, it would be fine.

I find myself writing around 400 words. Is it a concern, or I should work towards a range of 250-300.

See example of my write up on the topic on happiness

Happiness is a state of mind that encompasses a good wellbeing, and a convenient mental state filled with joy, and much euphoria of gladness. Money is not necessarily a pointer for happiness, but is also a necessity to lead to happy life.

First and foremost, happiness often come when we achieve certain goal or objectives. For example, one could make a decision to graduate from an MBA course which of course would impact his career. Graduating from the MBA could bring much more happiness that having money as this is what the individual is passionate about. When purpose is met, and a certain goal is achieved, happiness is triggered, and of course makes one joyful.

Secondly, people chose happiness when they travel for tourism or meet people from another culture. For example, when I visited the northern part of my country, I had little money on me, but I was so excited that I was seeing people of different culture, tribe, race, and different background. My participation in their most interesting Banku Dance was a joy for me, and I was so glad about it, as I had always dreamt of learning the Banku Dance, and following the Banku culture. Hence this gives me joy.

Moreover, there are a lot of people who have money but they obtained it illegally. This could be money gotten through selling of hard drugs, guns and ammunitions, child trafficking, sex slaves, and bribery for illegal and over estimated government contracts. Of course, these individuals may feel they have a large amount of money to a certain degree, but they may not necessarily be happy, as they would always try to cover up their illegal scheme, and of course when the arms of the law catches up with them, the money made would be taken back, and they would be imprisoned ultimately leading to more sorrow.

However, despite being happy by achieving a particular goal or objectives, career advancement, or socio cultural engagements with other culture and languages, money is still an important factor as these things would need to be paid for before they are achieved.

In conclusion, happiness is not necessarily hinged on having money, as people from low income country who engage in local trades, and carry out certain ambitious projects are always happy when fulfilled, and they glow in admiration of joy, while certain individuals with large money gotten from illegal source may not find happiness as they must keep on covering their tracks. But in all money is still needed to achieve certain objectives or fulfilment that would also lead to happiness.

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It is certainly an issue to be writing 400 words for task 2 writing. IELTS essays are designed to be highly focuses, relevant with each sentence being 100% critical to the essay. They are designed to be written in under 200 words. This mean you will produce about 13-15 sentences in total (this is not a rule, it is what is usual), all of which you need to be completely accurate and highly focused. What I see from your essay is that you haven’t learned how to write an essay for this particular test. IELTS have set requirements and you need to understand them. Those requirements will shape your essay. I suggest you get my advanced lessons to learn how to write an essay for this test: https://elizabethferguson.podia.com/ . For example, you will lose points for having one body paragraph less developed than another – this is because it is about band score requirements. That is just one example of how not understanding IELTS will cause you to get a lower score. There are many other points to consider in writing an IELTS essay.

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Money is an important contributor in ones happiness. In my opinion, money is just one factor to happiness and other contributors to happiness are relationships and passion.

Financial abundance is a part of the pie in achieving happiness. Some unfortunate people, who doesn’t have a stable source of income, still manage to be happy when they meet and laugh with friends. Moreover, they could keep a positive outlook when they help people at work as it gives then a sense of purpose. Despite being poor, one can still enjoy life.

One factor that contributes to happiness is valuable relationship. Family time such as eating together home cooked meals rather than at a fast food restaurant allows time to share stories and to feel connected. Relating to loved ones makes one feel listened to and cared for.

Another influencer to happiness is passion for work. At work, such as when helping customers or improving productivity at work by learning a new skill, an excitement is formed inside that helps you carry out throughout the day. Although work can be challenging, if a person finds passion in it, a sense of fulfillment can be gained anytime.

In conclusion, I think people can be happy without much money and this can be achieved through valuable relationships and passion in working.

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Recently, money has become almost everything for some. Even a group of people see money as a privileged term, thus they consider it as the most permanent and valuable source of happiness. To me, the amount of money is not an indicator of happiness, meaning less money does not prevent an individual from being content, moreover, there are other factors providing people to be happy as well as money like the satisfaction of work and people who support you all around you. To begin with the way how does the amount of money affect people, it simply is not as a big deal as it is generally thought. It is owing to the fact that the term money is nothing but a tool we use universally for putting a price on the products. There is only one thing money can not buy, though, happiness and even this explains that the terms money and happiness are separate things and one can be happy without it. Furthermore, I believe the more money a person has, the less happy he/she is when thinking the fact that rich people consider money to be the key to everything, thus fail to handle a problem and start complaining when facing a problem while least rich people directly focus on the possible solutions. To continue with different factors for happiness, job satisfaction comes first as the atmosphere and also the circumstances you work under matter the emotions and consequently the productivity the most. The second factor is as important as satisfaction, which is the presence of people you love and their encouragement around you. Think about Icardi who refused to be transferred from his current football team even after being offered four times more price from another team for instance. To conclude, money is not an indicator of how happy a person is, and there are still more valuable factors than that such as job satisfaction and supporting people. As a result, we should be aware of the reality that happiness is priceless.

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Hello Liz, thank you very much for your help. It is very appreciated. I am taking a test soon and I need a minimum of Band 8? Would this essay be good enough? What are your suggestions? Your help will be greatly appreciated, Sincerely Katarina

Many people, mainly elderly, would never miss the evening news. Not only them but also many other adults want to know what is going on in the world. Way too many people are obsessed with news that are bringing raw facts that are important rather than something good, and there would be even more people watching if it did bring joy into their lives.

Understandably, adults need to know what is going on in their town or state before it is too late. News brings a lot of important information from the first hand that is usually important for most citizens. For example, news will alert people about water or electricity shortages, growing interest rates, a criminal that escaped from prison or about a lost child. All of this information is essential for different people. For example, an electricity shortage is targeted to everyone, and some people are able to spend time out of town to wait out the shortage. Growing interest rates are mainly important for people who were thinking about taking a mortgage. Thanks to knowing this ahead of time, they can plan accordingly. Different types of news effects multiple groups of people in many ways. Therefore, news is crucial for most of the population that is 18 and older.

News can be very useful in long term run, however, it can ruin one’s night. Unfortunately, most of the news is targeting the negativity. This is because people consider the bad news more important because they want to be aware and ready. It is easy to understand that people want to know about a snowstorm that will block the roads so that they can get extra groceries or buy special supplements for their pets or livestock and make a plan for what else can go wrong.

Despite the fact that most of the news is negative reporting car accidents, robberies, tragedies and so on, people still choose to watch it. I think that if there were more positive things on the news, people would enjoy watching news and would not watch it because they feel like they need. News could even be a family time and a topic in family discussion if they were more focused on things that make the viewer feel good about the world around them. For example, news should help local farmers and advertise their products while giving a little background about their farm. This would tempt families to buy farm fresh products that are better for them while making a family educational trip to the farm.

In conclusion, news brings useful information to people that is not always pleasant, but could also bring in more positive news. News helps billions of people every day and most of them cannot imagine their life without it. I believe that bad news cannot be left out, but I also think that it should be balanced with good news which would let the viewer enjoy it.

I generally don’t give feedback as it isn’t possible to reply to so many people who post their essays. But I will make a few comments. IELTS is a timed test. You have only 1 hour to complete a report and an essay. It is recommended to spend 40 mins on the essay and just 20 mins on task 1. Did you spend only 40 mins on this? You’ve written almost 500 words. Your aim is to write between 270-290 words for task 2. More is not better. IELTS essays have specific requirements for each band score. As you haven’t included the essay question, I can’t comment on Task Response. But I can see you are not trained in IELTS essay writing. I suggest you get my advanced lessons and learn the right way how to tackle an IELTS essay. Here’s a link to my online store with advanced video lessons: https://elizabethferguson.podia.com/

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hello ma’am I wanted to ask about “Direct Questions” task 2 category. my teacher told that I cannot write “in my opinion ” in the introduction paragraph. but I still convinced myself to write it after giving background information/ paraphrasing of Question. is it wrong to do in this way?

the essay topic was ” learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out In your opinion is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure this survival of local languages and if so how?

As you see the question actually asks for your opinion. If you fail to give your opinion when asked, you will get a lower score. Some questions just write “Do you think this is a good thing? What are the problems with it” and even with these questions, the instructions are asking for your opinion. When it asks you to evaluate or speculate, it is asking for an opinion. When you give your opinion, you must make it very very clear – In my opinion OR I believe OR I think that

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Can money buy happiness? It is thought by some people that money is one the most important aspects in order to gain happiness. In my opinion people still be happy with having a little money. Love and working in your dream job are some of the factors the give happiness to one’s life. Although some people felt happy in their life’s by making more money, it does not mean others are not happy with a little money. In other words, money is not the only factor to be happy, for instance, people who live in the countryside making less money than who live in the city, but they feel more happier than the one in the city. due to strong relationship with their families and spending more time in natural. Love is one of the ways to be happy in life, what I mean by love is to have a support family and good relationship with friends. for example, a worm text from close friend, a call from family member to check up on you, and a hug from a partner in the morning are more sufficient to bring all the happiness in the world. another factor to bring happiness to people’s life is through their dream job, take a firefighter as an example, who safe lives every single day and getting nothing in return but the amazing satisfaction feeling what he has accomplished. Helping people and doing the job that you are good at are priceless and give the best feeling ever. In conclusion, happiness can be gain by small things like love, caring and being in your dream job, furthermore money might give some people happiness, but it is not essential to be happy in life.

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It’s considered by many people that money is one of the most important contributing factors in creating happiness. In my opinion, it’s even possible for people to be happy with a little amount of money and other factors of life can play a vital role in promoting happiness.

Although, having many may bring happiness to some people, it doesn’t necessarily mean that people without money are , therefore, unhappy. Take for example the comparison between developed and underdeveloped countries, most westerners would argue that people in underdeveloped countries are happier, enjoy a stronger family relationship and take more pleasure in the simplicities of life than those who settle in the developed countries.

To begin with, one of the ways that happiness can be gained by people is through their work, for instance, a doctor doing a volunteer work in an underdeveloped countries may have little money but the reward which is gotten in helping people is itself brings happiness. In other words, happiness can be achieved through the skills that people were trained for and through job satisfaction.

Additionally, another reason which promotes happiness is to have supportive and strong family relationships. Being surrounded by a loving and caring family is considered by the majority of people to be more valuable than having any amount of money.

In conclusion, money isn’t essential for gaining happiness, which can instead be found through job satisfaction as well as a strong family relationship. If more people strived towards true happiness rather than collecting money, this world would be a better place to live.

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Many people identify money as one of the crucial factors towards happiness. From my personal view, even though money has its importance, it is still possible to live a happy life without much money. Additionally, other aspects of life can play a vital role in creating happiness. Firstly, money undoubtedly makes many people happy, mostly owing to providing material objects of desire and simply new abilities in life. However, many factors, such as family bonds, career achievements and positive mindfulness, are capable of giving people joy and happiness without the help of money. For instance, nowadays individuals can live a happy life without a lot of money, simply by enjoying their family time and spending time with positive people. Moreover, the fact that money brings happiness to many people, does not necessarily reflect that people without much money are, thus, unhappy. Take for example comparison of situations in developing and developed countries. Most Westerners would agree that people in developing countries are living a happy life, being satisfied by family connections and enjoying the simplicity of life to a greater extent, than those in developed countries. Finally, the other factor to consider is the person`s surroundings. If a person is surrounded by people who only value material achievements in life, the person will soon find himself thriving through difficulties just to fulfill his goal to make more money. In contrast, positive people with great respect for one another make others around them only become better people and take a look at life from a different perspective. To conclude, money has an important role in our life, however, it is still possible to live a happy life without a big amount of money. Therefore, money is not essential for happiness and can be replaced by strengthening family bonds or professional improvement.

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Could you please evaluate mine. Thank you in advance.

In this day and age, many people believe that money is the key of happiness. In my opinion, I agree that we need money to be happy. It is hard for people to reach happiness in their life if they don’t have enough money to support their lifestyle and basic needs. In addition, I think other factor that is important to achieve happiness is family members.

Firstly, the world has become into a place where money is everything. Basically no one can’t live without money in this modern world. Even tough it is true that money does not equal happiness, however everyone need money to cover their basic needs in sufficient way to reach well-being. It is almost impossible to be happy but in the same time lack of everything that we need to live our life. For instance, everyone needs money to pay their rents, daily grocery items and even for a small necessity like toilet services require us to pay with money. So, money is a foundation of our life, we need it to experience happiness.

Secondly, other key to support happiness is family members. They are the one who will give support whenever we need helps. The fact that human is a social creature, which mean we cannot live alone without other presences and family members are likely to help us if we are in trouble financially or if we just need companion. For example, most children will help their parents when they get older and need a companion and supports.

In conclusion, money is one of the keys to reach happiness. Without money, we cannot live properly in this world because we need it to cover our daily basic needs. However, it is true that money is not the only one factor to experience happiness, family members is also an important factor to help us to get out of trouble in life and be happy.

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I like that this eassy is of a different opinion and well constructed as well..

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It is believed that the only source of happiness can be brought by financial achievements, however, I resent partially and concur with the notion that there are multiple agendas that can bring happiness in one’s life. This essay shall substantiate where and not money is imperative with other factors that can bring joy with relevant examples.

Examining the former opinion, the primary argument the supporters would put forward is that without money, nothing is possible. This is true in many cases such as in fulfilling the daily needs and wants and frequent expensive activities that can buy happiness for a specific period of time. In the era of materialism, where the status of a person is judged by the things they own, money plays quite a significant role especially for those who are rich and young. Perhaps, for a few, money is the solution to all the issues in their life.

On the flip side, when a reporter asked Lewis Hamilton, the F1 racing world champion, about his source of happiness; he instantly vouched that money does not buy happiness to him but the people who support him. In today’s time, inner peace has become crucial than monetary possessions. For many people, today, having a soulful life without negativity is rather more important than the other aspects of life. Hence, not everyone desires to be rich, some people enjoy fame, support, and peace as well.

To add to this, there are dozens of different sources of happiness. A person can find joy at any point if he or she wants to be happy. Happiness is all about how one perceives life. Mother Teresa, for instance, served her entire life in helping underprivileged children and women and never was found sad. Therefore, happiness can be found in various kinds of activities and places.

To conclude, it is true that money is important for survival and enjoyment. However, happiness has no exact price and can not be traded. The world would be a better place if people stopped relating happiness with money.

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Hii Liz, I am confused with the question…if my opinion on this answer is “yes money is an important factor for happiness” then how would I justify the second part of the question i.e “what are the other factors for happiness” as I m already saying in the first part that money is the important factor for happiness…plz let me know

You are saying it is an important factor, not it is the only factor. The word “important” does not exclude any other factor. The word “only” excludes all other factors.

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In the first model essay, I could see repetition for some words like money(6 times), happiness(5 times), people(9 times). Could you please confirm whether it is acceptable. Because I heard that repetition of words can reduce points.

Thanks, Hanna

Some words will be repeated. You can’t avoid some repetition. For IELTS, you need to show the skill of paraphrasing which can be with words that you choose. Not all words can or should be changed. Be selective.

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Although, it is widely believed that monetary possessions directly relates to the degree of happiness among the masses, I firmly believe, that the other factors in life like trust, compassion, and team spirit equally contribute to an overall happiness quotient of an individual.

Admittedly, money brings much confidence and luxury in life. Rich people can pay family bills easily, stay unperturbed about any future medical expenses by the family members. Moreover, they don’t have to worry about savings for retirement anymore and hence might claim to enjoy a comparatively peaceful life. In addition, many people flock to such rich people for friendships or parties as they become famous for their ability to chase the fast fashion.

Despite the power of wealth, firstly, the basic humane qualities that we build through years of consistent trust, compassion and personal bonding remains critical for personal relationships as well as, are instrumental at workplace. Additionally, a friend that people earn through their personal qualities can bring much more happiness when faced with difficulties in life as they are always there to confide with. Similarly, team spirit at work can make an workers life very easy when faced with real time challenges. Lastly, company of characterless people are useless at times of needs, when they often cheat their spouses, dupe friends and show their back during crisis.

In conclusion, monetary possessions can definitely bring a smile on your face, but it is quite fleeting. On the other hand, personal qualities can unconditionally bring an overall peace and joy for life.

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Please help to evaluate this essay ,i took tips from your post Many people consider that money is one of the most crucial elements and a key contributor to attaining happiness. In my opinion, it is possible for people to be happy with little money, and other aspects playing a pivotal role in creating happiness. Although having money brings happiness to a lot of people, it does not necessarily follow that people without money are, therefore, unhappy. Take for example the comparison between developing and developed nations, most Westerners would agree that the people in developing countries are happier, enjoy stronger family bonds and discover pleasure in the simplicities of life to a greater extent than those in developed nations. There are several other crucial elements that can bring immense joy to people’s life. One such factor of paramount importance is love and support of family and friends, who stand by our side in all ups and downs of life. They are the real treasure of one’s life to gauge happiness, as we create lifetime moments with them while progressing through different phases of life, celebrating our successes as well as failures. Admittedly, money may bring opportunities to enjoy pleasures, few people would enjoy them on their own. Thus, being surrounded by a loving family is considered by most people to be more valuable than any amount of money.

Finally, another factor influencing happiness is joy gained through work. Many people are thoroughly content with respect and self -satisfaction they get from their jobs. For instance, a doctor doing volunteer work in rural areas may not be the most wealthy person in the medical practitioner community, but respect, and blessings he gains by treating poor and needy is far more rewarding than money. In other words, happiness can found by using skills that people are trained for and through job satisfaction.

To conclude, money is not the only source of happiness in people’s lives, the love and warmth from friends and family members and delight one acquires from a job can make people immensely happy. If more people strived in life towards true happiness rather than money, the world would be a better place.

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Dear Liz, thank you for your great videos Do you have any videos on the topic of cause/solution and direct question essays?? Thankyou

Not at the moment. I hope to make them next year 🙂

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i am appearing for GT test on 17 aug . please check my essay and rate to know where i stand. also recommend basic things that could be improved after observing my essay.

It is good to have money and things money can buy. Some people think that financial wealth holds a significant role in happiness. As far as i am concerned, I feel, people can live a happy life even without much money they derive their happiness from other aspects of life rather than just money. Many others factors for instance family,following your passion and a good healthy lifestyle can add to a persons happiness.

Needless to say, money is important to buy basic necessities of life and to rear oneself and their family. It would not be right to say, having too much money is a definite path to joy. Even rich people suffers from depression and anxiety and have many other problems in life. People can be happy in limited amount of money by setting up a limit to their expenses and expectation. As amount of money earned is never enough so, no one can define the amount of money required for happiness. Peoples interest in their work and lifestyle keeps them happy. For instance, a person earning millions per month may not be satisfied with the work he does and a person ,on the other hand, earning less but enjoying the work he does maybe more happier.

Many other factors play significance role in happiness of a person for instance a loving and understanding partner in life plays a very crucial role in happiness of a person. Friends indeed are also important in life to share and build memories of life. Love and care from parents are always necessary as that is the only unconditional love a person experience through out his life.

Would like to sum up, by saying, money definitely is important to survive, to buy essential things and live a good life style but having a huge bank balance is not a perfect road to happiness . Happiness is a state of mind with derived from elements such as love, family ,good health and money.

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Mam, I attempted IELTS exam yesterday.

I am little bit confused with this question. Would like to know what type of question is this . Two way question or opinion question?

Ordinary people copy famous people that are in magazine’s and TV. Why is it happening? Do you think this a good idea?

Thanks for sharing 🙂 There are many questions that are not “Opinion Essays” which means they do not say “Do you agree or disagree”, but they still require your opinion. For example “Discuss both sides and give your opinion” is categorised by many teachers as a Discussion Essay, but it still requires you to give an opinion. You were given a “Two Question Essay” or a “Direct Questions Essay”. Please remember that IELTS do not categorised essays – teachers do. So, teachers might have different names for different essays. You were required to give the causes for one question and then to present your opinion about whether it is good or bad for the other question. Just follow the instructions and you can’t go wrong.

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This is really very helpful. Thanks mam

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Hey Liz, Thank you very much for your articles, would you mind to check about this one? Does finance can replace the word money?

This is considered by some people that one of the most main elements of achieving happiness is finance, however, in my opinion, I believe that individuals can get totally happy regardless of being rich.

People can be happy without being rich, in other words, the happy feeling comes from different reasons which are not related with having money, for instance, I am a junior graphic designer, who earn a basic salary, and there is almost no money in my bank account, sometimes I got struggle financially because I can not afford my travel fees, but I still enjoy my life, I love my work and the other goals I have achieved, even when I making food or hold a cup of hot chocolate can totally make me happy and satisfy. People can be happy not only because of financial satisfy, but there are also always other elements for people to gain happiness

Individuals also achieve happiness through achievements, job satisfaction, doing sports, or even breath fresh air. A Havard report says that the people who enjoy doing exercise by sports or join into gym are feeling happier than the people who never do any physical exercise, however, doing exercise by playing sports or join in a gym has no relationship with having money, a middle school student can totally achieve this happiness without spending a dollar. A newspaper also mentions that job satisfaction is one of the main factors which contributes towards happiness, indeed, people who gain achievements through overcome job tasks can also achieve happiness.

In conclusion, for some people, money is truly one of the keys that makes people happy, however, happy people like me who is poor but still enjoy life through other things. Excepted having money, there are vast elements that can let people feel happy which are job satisfaction, fine family environment, doing a different kind of sports, cooking, and many other factors.

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Hello Liz, Is it compulsory that in Direct Question also known as 2 question essay to have minimum 2 questions asked? OR is it possible to only have one? I searched on net and get this question as a Direct Question Parents put a lot of pressure on children to succeed. Do you think this is a good or bad thing? I personally feel that its an opinion essay but got confused now? Please reply as soon as possible I really really need your help as my IELTS is on 27 April

Direct questions essay could be one, two or even three questions. That question you have stated above will require an opinion as a response.

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some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars. to what extent do you agree?

the instruction is, to what extent do you agree ,however i want to disagree.Can i allow to do this ? please guide mam

If you disagree, it means you do not agree that prisoners should do unpaid community work instead of a prison sentence. Your essay will then explain that view in full.

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Government promises continuous economic growth, but its actually an illusion. Some people think that governments should abandon this. please talk about the validity and the implications.

Could you please help me with some ideas with this topic of essay.

Is this an authentic IELTS essay? Did you get it from one of the IELTS Cambridge test books which contain real IELTS essay questions?

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Hello Liz, Thanks for the wonderful website,all the information is very helpful.I just have a question on the first line of the model essay. The first line of model essay has word many people where as the question has some people. Can some people be paraphrased as many people ? Can it be paraphrased as few people ? Thanks Kamal

The word “few” people means a very small number of people. It is completely inappropriate to use.

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Hi liz, thank you so much for this. It has really put things in perspective Would it be okay to start with something like- “It is a commonly held opinion that money is crucial for happiness. In my opinion, a poorer person can be happier than a wealthy one. There are also various other factors that can bring happiness to people” also is it okay to include sayings like “money is the root of all evil” to stress on how money would not bring happiness to some??

Do not learn phrases. Each sentence should be created uniquely by yourself.

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why do you always deter others from learning the sentences other than yours? Learning to use sentences from your model answers is acceptable while from other sources are not and so-called “memorizing”. For a foreigner who wanna make their english more native, coping and imitating is the first step because they don’t have any own languages that are shining enough to get a decent score.

IT is fine to use ideas and learn vocabulary, but everything you write must be your own way. This is a language test and you are being scored on your ability to create sentences of your own. You should not memorise my sentences or anyone else’s sentences.

Got it, many thanks Liz.

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Hi Liz, Is it okay to provide examples for both BP1 and BP2?I am a little bit confused because I had attended an IELTS Writing class. The trainer said we can only give one example for the whole writing 2 essay. Is she correct or is it possible to have an example for both BP! and BP2?Please enlighten me on this. Thank you, Rose

There is no such rule in IELTS. Absolutely no such rule at all. I would limit examples to one per body paragraph – not because it is a rule, but because that is sensible. You can have a maximum of three body paragraphs – again, not as a rule, but as a sensible way to meet the requirements of the higher band scores.

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thank you for helping us. i have query is 3 body paragraph necessary to obtain high band score and do we need to incorporate in all the essay type to score high band.

It is possible to have two or three body paragraphs. Your paragraph structure is just one part of the marking criterion of Coherence and Cohesion. Read the HOME page to learn how to access all my free lessons and tips.

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Thank You Liz for your wonderful teachings here. They are very resourceful. I have been trying to develop ideas on why government should continue to fund arts. I don’t have strong points here. Please can you be of help?

Art is part of cultural identity. It is how a country expresses itself and can also reflect the history of the country as well. Art from World War I is often analysed because it shows the painters experience of the war. Art is also a skill that should be respected and supported. Art galleries attract tourists and add to the tourist trade which in turn boosts economy. Just take a look online – google the pros and cons of supporting the arts. Please note the different between art and the arts.

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money is not important factor of life. it donot give happiness to masses. i thing that individuals can live a better life by job satisfaction and helping people in society.

Firstly, there are two type of countries developing and developed countries. People in developing nations have more happier life than masses in developed terrotries . they live a happier life as they has time to spend with families and their children.

Secondly, take a example of a doctor in a developing country, even he earn less money but he is happy because he is fully satisfy with his job and helping other people in amount of money. Means money has nothing in making one fully happy and satisfy . Having a satisfaction with jab one should happy with a small amount of money.

Finally, in thinking of some people money is everything but having a lovely surrounding one is fully happy in life. Like if one is surrounded with love of family and friends, he will get all the happiness of world.

In conclusion, money is not a important part of life. Satisfaction with job and a small earning makes one happy and a good standard life without any luxury products.

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dear liz, m juz confused to take a difference from both ‘opinion essay & direct question essay’,,, as u hv given both of them here under the heading of Direct question type, could u plz elaborate?, thnx!

You need to understand that it is teachers who divide the essays into different types. It is a way of teaching. Some direct questions require opinions, some do not. All you need to do is answer the direct question(s) given. For example: Why is happiness different for different people? What factors contribute toward happiness? This is a direct question essay with two questions to answer. An opinion essay is an essay that only asks “Do you agree or disagree” / “To what extent do you agree or disagree”. But always remember, your aim is just to follow instructions. Each teacher teaches the essays differently and divides the essay types differently.

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Hi Liz, I noticed you’ve used “having” a few times in this essay. There are certain words that I use involuntarily in my sentences. Like, “kind of, involves, constant”. Would multiple use of such words affect my score? I have my IELTS LRW tomorrow 🙂 Thank you Liz.

Paraphrasing does not mean changing words all the time. Paraphrasing means deciding when to keep words the same and when to change them. Not all words need to be changed.

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Can you let me know what type of essay question is this.

There is a problem today that copyright materials such as music, films and books are available on the internet with the result the owners of the works lose money.Do you feel that this is a good or bad thing?

It is a direct question essay that requires you to present your opinion. Your whole essay will explain if you think it is good or bad.

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Hi liz, I’m so glad that I’ve found your website.How many kinds of essays are in the academic IELTS? Please reply<3<3<3

You can see sample questions for each type on this page: https://ieltsliz.com/100-ielts-essay-questions/

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Hello Liz! I have given IELTS thrice . I have been able to score 8 in speaking , reading and listening. But, my score in writing has been 6.5 consistently. I have tried my best to give examples and improve vocabulary. I have analysed myself, could it be because of writing task 1 ? Because I did not make comparisons. Please advice as it has become frustrating for me.

Giving examples will not increase your score in writing task 2 – examples are optional. I suggest you get my advanced lessons to learn more about the right techniques to use for task 2: https://elizabethferguson.podia.com/ . Task 1 is only worth 33%. So, certainly you should review it and avoid problems, but the biggest issue will be your task 2.

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Hi Liz Thanks for your kind efforts. First of all, I have to say this essay is awesome due to the rich ideas you presented. I have a question. In Thesis statement we always mention three points which are connecting to question, using for example I my opinion and more importantly our opinion. why did not say your opinion in the thesis statement? you just implied that there are other aspects.

Don’t make your thesis too long. Your thesis contains the answer and the body paragraphs contain the details. However, there is no right and wrong. If you do add a bit of detail to your thesis it is ok.

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Hello Liz, Sometimes the IELTS task 2 questions consist of about 3 questions. In this case, I donnot know which one to start first, structure, places of them in bodies and so on. Could please make it easy for me? Thanks in advance.

You follow a logical order and answer each question in one body paragraph. Keep organisation simple and language complex.

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My name is Jose and I took the IELTS test examination 3 times. My results in writing were as follow 6,6.5, and 6. I was quite shock when I got my last result, as for my third attempt I studied harder and I knew more vocabulary. As result, I checked the IELTS criteria and I found out for the first time that I was not using complex and compound sentences in my essays! I believe other students are making the same mistakes as well. Many people on the internet advice to check old essays in order to imitate them. However, if you do not know the theory behind each sentence construction, it is very hard to imbibe the knowledge. It would be very beneficial for the community if you emphasize this point in one of your videos.

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Hi Liz, On the above essay, if the question happend to be like “to what extent do you agree or disagree”. Will it be fine to partly agree or to have a partly disagree answer? Or should we only focus our answer to either agree or disagree. Thanks, EJ

You can choose agree, disagree or a partial opinion. You are not being marked on your choice.

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I need your help.

I have done IELTS for the 3rd time, after attending to an instructor for 3 months period. Unfortunately this time I got the worst result which is 6 in Writing.

Last 2 times I got 6.5 in writing. This time even I felt confidence on my writing I couldn’t believe how it went further down.

It was about buying second hand products, what are the reasons and whether it has negative or positive impact.

I wrote 2 paragraphs explaining 2 reasons and 3rd explaining the impact. What I argued is it has negative impact. What I could think which affected my score is about a phrase I used in conclusion “To put in a nutshell, I pen down saying that”. I saw this clause in a model essay published in a website.

I could not think what went wrong, was it my ideas or was it my inappropriate word choice.

Appreciate your comments. Please advice.

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hi Mam I’m Ajim. I’m confused Are both direct answer essay and argumentative essay same?? question like…… Why study history? Is free speech necessary in a free society?? Please,help with that.

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I would like to ask you a question in connection with Task 2 from a Sample Test. The task is:”Concern for the environment is growing rapidly and more and more people are choosing to be ‘eco-tourists’-travelling in responsible,environmentally-friendly ways.As a result,the eco-tourism industry is expanding.

To what extent do you think this is a positive trend?”

Is it an opinion essay or a combination essay (opinion and direct question essay) ?

Thank you in advance!

It is a direct question essay which requires your opinion. You must state if you think it is positive or not and explain your point of view.

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How to diffrenciate between direct question and opinion question while both of them are asking ( why do you think ? )

An opinion essay is categorised by the fact that the only question is “do you agree or disagree?”. The direct question essay contains two or more questions to answer. However, both require an opinion. The catgorises are mainly used by teachers in order to teach – so don’t worry so much. Just follow the instructions.

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Thanks for help

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Thank you for this great website with many useful tips and tricks.

I have been struggling with my essays for a while, and I was wondering if you can give me a hand by pointing mistakes or odd writing style.

While money comes as number one priority for some people, other think that it is not of that importance. Money can but many materialistic assets , but it falls behind when it comes to intangible relations. Personally, I do not think what wealth can buy happiness.

Firstly, Money has taken over our lives significantly. For example, some are convinced that it is better to cry in a luxurious car such as BMW rather than on your foot, trying to exaggerate the importance of money, but they are oblivious to the truth if being sad and maybe devastated in both cases. For sure money is important but not such an extent. It can buy a breathtaking house with stunning views, but with neither a family nor children.

Secondly, family ties play an important role in drawing a smile on the one’s face. For instance, whenever I feel down, I check old photos with my family, and a torrent of rekindled memories come across my mind. while many families work their fingers to the bone, trying to achieve a satisfactory amount of money monthly, they forget to give their children an adequate amount of care and love. A justification for this social transformation can be related to the capitalist greedy world that we live in.

Thirdly, religion can be a source of stability during the journey of life. when people face a bitter hardship, religion is this thing that bring them back on their feet. This spiritual relation works as the guardian guide, bringing peace which in turn brings happiness.

In conclusion, it always feels great to have a six digit bank account, but this will bring neither satisfaction nor joy to the life. In my opinion, we need to be more focused on being humans rather than our banks.

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Hello Liz, First of all, many thanks for this amazing website. I find it the best in aiding me with my IELTS test. Secondly, I don’t think I understand the difference between Direct Essays and Cause-Solution ones. I mean, isn’t every Cause-Solution essay fundamentally a Direct one? ( and not vice versa of course)

Sure. It is still a direct question. However, the label of “Direct Question Essay” refers to essays which don’t fall into the other categories and generally just ask questions such as “What is happiness?” “Why is it difficult to define?”.

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Hello Liz, Thanks for the help, much appreciated.

how would you write an introduction for essays that cannot be easily paraphrased. for example

GOVERNMENTS SHOULD NOT INVEST IN ARTS SUCH AS MUSIC AND THEATER. GOVERNMENTS MUST INVEST MORE IN PUBLIC SERVICES.

TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE?

Tomorrow I will put this question up on facebook for all students to try and then on Thursday I’ll write a model background statement and post it on this blog. Thanks for sharing this question.

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Lending money more on public services instead of spending any music and theatre would not be ever fruitful, and I believe authorities must invest in them.

Would this introduction be OK?

please reply. m

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Hello, I’m your big fan in Tokyo. I’d like to show my sincere gratidude to you for creating such a useful website for those who want to get better scores in IELTS. I have one question in terms of subjectiveness in writing essay. Some people told me that it is better to avoid using such subjective phrases as “In my opinion” or “I believe”. Is that the case for IELTS writing?

Thanks for your comment. In writing task 2, you must follow the instructions very carefully and your score will depend on you doing that. If the instructions ask for your opinion, you MUST give it clearly. Writing “It is believed that…” does not show your personal opinion. It states what is thought by others. Therefore, in an opinion essay, you MUST use language which clearly gives your point of view, such as “I think” or “In my opinion”. See this page: https://ieltsliz.com/ielts-writing-task-2-should-i-give-my-opinion/ and also this page: https://ieltsliz.com/ielts-writing-task-2-expressing-your-opinion/ . See this page for all free writing task 2 tips: https://ieltsliz.com/ielts-writing-task-2/ . For detailed training in writing task 2, think about getting my advanced lessons: http://subscriptions.viddler.com/IELTSLizStore . Good luck!

Many thanks indeed!

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Hi Liz, Is this essay a Direct Question type? I mean, even if it asks about “causes” and asks our “opinion”.

(“The continued rise in the world’s population is the greatest problem faced by the humanity at the present time.” What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?)

It is a direct questions essay which uses one question from the cause type essay and one question from the opinion type essay. So, it’s a combination essay requiring you to answer each question directly.

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Bunch of thanks for your so much useful blog. the 2nd paragraph of body paragraphs you wrote: for instance, a doctor (SINGLE) doing volunteer work in underdeveloped countries may have ( HAS) ……..and doing the job they are (HE IS) good at,

“may have” we never change the second verb and “may” never changes. We often refer to individual people as “they” in academic writing rather than he/she.

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Hi Liz, your lessons are amazing! Thank you so much for all that information and useful advices. Regarding the latter conversation I’m always in doubt about plural and singular when referring to individual people in academic writing so could you please tell me in this sentence ”For instance, an accountant will never know that singing bring/s them/him? more happiness, if they/he do/does? not decide to make a change” should I replace all singular with plural? Your help will be highly appreciated. Thank you once again.

We use plurals. It’s easier to refer to everyone in the plural: accountants will never know that singing brings them …”

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hi liz I still can not understand the difference , would you post the link for this essayS MANY THANK

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I found your lessons and comment so useful. By the way, if I am not mistaken there is a typo in this essay. The last sentence of the third paragraph of body body paragraphs should be modified to: “being surrounded by a loving and caring family is considered to ‘be’ more valuable than any amount of money”. Indeed, in the original sentence “be” has been missed.

Thanks. Very well spotted 🙂

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hi Liz please mention all the styles of asking opinion in the question. Yet, I have problem to understand the question about asking for opinion.

https://ieltsliz.com/liz-notice-2015-2016/

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if i divided this essay into Intro:includes paraphrasing ,and thesis that includes my opinion BP1: Admittedly,there r some benefits 4 money,,,, BP2:Nevertheless,despite ,,,,,, Conclusion:conclude my opinion is it ok?

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If the question starts as “can people be happy without much money” instead of starting “Do you think people can be happy without much money”, still do we need to give my opinion???

Yes, it is still your view. Liz

Noted and Thank you for the prompt reply.

Is it correct to write therefore in the middle of the sentence. For example you have written “it does not necessarily follow that people without money are, therefore, unhappy.

Yes. It is flexible and good for a high score. Using it always at the start of a sentence is mechanical which is a characteristic of band score 6. Liz

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Hi Liz ,, I just want to give my gratitude to your selfless intention of helping all ones in need. I was having three things to ask regarding grammar. 1 ) Can we use second conditional sentence of imagination in past tense i.e. referring to yesterday incident of discussion She told “If you weren’t married , I would purpose you” 2 ) Can we use the sentence of compulsion “Have to” in continuous tone i.e. I am having to do this. 3 ) Can we say the repent in opposite way which has not happened ” If you had not gone , you would have not got the chance to speak” while actually one has gone means the work has been attended still can we imagine in “Not” with 3rd conditional sentence

Lots of love sis !!

You can use all grammar tenses if they are appropriate to what you want to explain. Liz

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So in this task all that we need to do is simply answering the question ? It would be no need for a paragraph with our opinion ( like in the opinion essays) ?

That’s right. You answer the question given to you. All the best Liz

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You have mentioned in the above comment, not to mention about oneself. To clarify, do you mean to say we should not use the real life examples while writing the IELTS essays. I thought this was a better idea to correlate oneself’s real life experience when we are providing an example.

Thanks R. Radhakrishnan

You use examples from your own experience about the world, not your own experience about your personal life. You should present examples in a way suitable for essay writing which doesn’t include stories about yourself or people you know. It should be your experience of the world. All the best Liz

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Hi, Liz! I am confused about the usage of “take for example”. I learned “take sth for example” but it seems that you use “take for example sth”(take for example the comparison …). Are both usages the same? Besides, in concluding paragraph, I guess the word “though”( happiness can be found though job satisfaction …) should be “through”. Thanks.

Yes, both are fine to use but make sure you only use what you understand fully and know how to use. Mistakes will lower your score. The second point was indeed a typo. All the best Liz

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IELTS Band 9 Writing Samples: Task 2 Essays

June 19, 2021

ielts essay 9 band sample

One of the best ways of learning how to write better is to simply read sample IELTS band 9 essay answers, and that is exactly what we have here: 10, Band 9 sample IELTS essays. Each essay is followed by a teaching point to show you why it is a band 9 IELTS essay.

Finally, all of the essays on this page have been written using the system I teach on this page IELTS writing task 2 and in my full IELTS course here that has helped thousands get the score they need.

You can also download these sample answers as a pdf file here if you prefer: IELTS Essay Samples Band 9 pdf or, simply read them below:

Sample Essay #1 – Two Part Question

In some countries, the number of people visiting art galleries is reducing. What do you think the reasons for this are? How can we solve this problem?

In certain locations around the world, the number of people visiting art galleries is declining. This essay shall outline some of the reasons for this trend and then go on to suggest ways in which this issue could be resolved.

Firstly, visitor numbers are on the decline due in part to the ever-increasing convenience and ability of new technology. If someone has access to the internet from a device then there is virtually no need to visit an art gallery as all the finest works can be viewed online for as long as you want and at a minimal cost. For example, there is virtually no reason to go to the effort of leaving your house and traveling across a city and then paying and queuing with other people just to see works of art that you could just as easily view from the comfort of your own home.

However, there are some effective ways in which we might reverse the trend of declining visitor numbers to art galleries. One such way would be to ensure that all the artwork at a gallery is not available to view online, or at the most, just a small sample of an art galleries work is available for viewing. This would then create a sense of curiosity in the viewers mind and make them more likely to visit the art gallery. Furthermore, you could create a discussion zone at the art gallery where like-minded individuals could meet face to face and discuss the particular pieces of art that interest them. This would make visiting the gallery a more unique experience and be more likely to catch people’s interest.

Overall, visitor numbers are declining but there are a number of ways to tackle this problem. It is up to the art galleries themselves to come up with solutions and then deliver these to the public if they wish to survive in the future. 319 words

Teaching Point: Notice how both of these topic sentences directly answer one of the questions asked in the question. This is key to making sure that you do not go off topic and do in fact answer the question. This ensures you will not lose marks for Task Achievement.

Sample Essay #2 – Discussion And Opinion

In many countries, men and women work full-time. It is therefore logical for men and women to share household work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, many people believe that men and women should share household chores equally as both genders are just as likely to have full-time jobs. Personally, I agree with this viewpoint and the following paragraphs shall outline my reasons for this belief.

First and foremost, traditional gender roles have been severely diminished in many cultures in recent years. This means that less pressure is now placed on women to complete the tasks that were commonly associated as being a women’s job to complete. These days it is just as acceptable for a man to do the housework as it is for the women, and they won’t be looked down upon by their male friends as they might have been in the past.

Secondly, it has become much more commonplace for women to be the main breadwinners of a household and therefore by default have less time available for domestic duties This means that it often makes more sense for men to stay at home and not work, which in turn means that they have more time available to complete household chores than might have been the case in the past. Imagine, if a woman worked full time and then had to come home and complete all of the household chores as well, regardless of whether the partner was working or not, the relationship would be put under a great deal of pressure and might eventually end if they were left to do the chores alone.

In summary, I agree that the changing trends of society mean that couples are often led to divide household chores more equally these days. Despite resistance by certain groups, this trend is likely to continue into the future.

Teaching Point: Notice how I have repeated my opinion twice, in both the introduction and conclusion but have done so using different words. This shows off a range of vocabulary but also ensures that I have answered the original question that was asked.

Sample Essay #3 – Discussion And Opinion

Libraries are a waste of money, therefore, computers should be used to replace them. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people are of the opinion that libraries funding should be cut and the money invested in making computers available to the public instead. I mostly agree with this line of thought and the following paragraphs shall explain why this is the case.

Firstly, libraries should not receive any more funding because they contain such a limited and often outdated amount of information. As soon as a book is published it goes out of date and cannot be updated without an entirely new copy being printed which is both costly and time-consuming. On the other hand, a computer connected to the internet overcomes both of these limitations with ease, for example, any web-site, pdf, or online journal can be continuously updated by the authors and there is no time wasted in printing of the book.

On the other hand, though, libraries do still offer a quiet place for members of the public to go and read. In today’s fastpaced society there are few places to be found where people can simply go and relax without fear of being hassled by salesman or traffic which may have damaging consequences for the public. For instance, a report in the ‘Journal of Good Health’ recently reported that spending as little as 5 minutes per day sat quietly on your own can reduce the risk of a heart attack or stroke by 50%, so, losing the quiet space of a library could harm a nation’s overall health.

To sum up, the public need for up to date information and also for restful places for people to relax needs to be considered carefully. Governments need to decide what their priority is and act accordingly. 279 words

Teaching Point: Notice how in the first line of the introduction I have simply paraphrased the question statement using my own words. I have also changed the order of the information in the sentence. This shows the examiner that I have good grammatical control and also a range of vocabulary.

Sample Essay #4 – Discussion And Opinion

Some people think that money is the best gift to give a teenager, others disagree. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Certain groups of people are of the opinion that giving teenagers cash is the most appropriate present to present them with, however, some people disagree with this approach. Personally, I believe that this is not the case and this essay shall outline arguments for either side.

Firstly, teenagers are often very impulsive by nature and are likely to make decisions that may not be in their best overall interest. As a consequence, if you hand over money to a teenager they may well simply go and waste the money on consumable goods and sometimes harmful items such as drugs, alcohol, or other such substances. Therefore, it is probably in the teenagers best interest if you buy them constructive presents that they can get greater value and education out of. For example, buying a teenager book tokens to further their knowledge is far more productive than giving them cash to blow on alcoholic beverages.

On the other hand, however, some people would say that allowing the teenager the freedom to choose what they want to spend their money on is an important lesson for them to learn. Not only does it allow them to see that you trust them but it also means that they are likely to buy something that they will actually value. Furthermore, if a teenager senses that you do not trust them then they are likely to hold this against you and use it against you at some point in the future, whereas, they may well act more responsibly if you hand over cash for them to spend.

In conclusion, teenagers are at a very sensitive stage of their development, however, I remain of the opinion that they do need some guidance in the way that they spend their money. Parents should take care to manage this situation appropriately. 302 words

Teaching Point: Notice how the conclusion starts by summarizing the two topic sentences using different vocabulary, Once again this proves to the examiner that you have a good range of vocabulary.

Sample Essay #5 – Opinion Essay

Some people believe that people who do physical work should be paid the same as people who have a high-level degree. Do you agree or disagree?

Certain groups of people are of the opinion that people who engage in manual labour should receive the same level salary as someone who is highly educated. I disagree with this point entirely and shall outline the reasons for this in the following paragraphs.

One of the main reasons why highly educated people should receive a greater salary than lower-skilled workers is that they create more value for a business in the long term. This is because a lower skilled worker will simply do as they are told and perform their role in the organisation whereas a highly skilled worker is more likely to suggest solutions to problems or invent more productive ways of doing something. Over the course of a number of years, these incremental improvements could lead to large increases in profit for the company.

Allied to this, graduates have often invested a great deal of time and money into their education and so surely, therefore, deserve to be paid more to cover this. For example, a recent survey from ‘Time’ magazine revealed that the average medical student seeking to become a doctor graduates with more than $150,000 of debt before they have even earned a penny.

Furthermore, countries need educated populations in order to develop, organise themselves and grow. Therefore governments need to make sure students are encouraged to study for higher qualifications and paying higher salaries to these individuals when they finally graduate is one way of ensuring this.

In conclusion, more highly educated employees are worth more to a company and a country. These are the main reasons why I continue to believe they should be paid more. 273 words

Teaching Point: It is helpful to develop your paragraphs by using examples. However, this is difficult to do as you do not know what question you will be asked. This is why you should just make up realistic sounding examples. It really is not important if the example is true or not, the examiners do not care. All they want to do is assess your English. So, go ahead and simply make up realistic sounding examples to develop your answers just as I have done here!

Sample Essay #6 – Opinion Essay

In some countries, children under sixteen are not allowed to leave school by law and get full-time work. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

In certain areas of the world, children under the age of 16 are prevented from gaining full-time employment by law. I believe this is a good thing and this essay shall outline the reasons for this standpoint.

Firstly, anyone under the age of 16 should be pursuing education rather than a salary. This is because they have the rest of their working lives to get a full-time job but only a few limited years during their youth which they can dedicate entirely to education. Education is the key to a positive future and so it is right that laws should prevent someone from damaging their own education. If we let young people simply do what they want with no thought for the future then we would not be guiding and protecting them as a society surely should.

In addition to the above, many countries around the world have high unemployment levels. If youth under the age of 16 were also added to the working population then this would likely only lead to further increases in unemployment. For example, in Greece the ‘Greek Echo’ recently reported that unemployment had increased to a record level of 38% of the population. Furthermore, having unemployed youngsters on the streets often leads to increased crime rates, especially those relating to anti-social behaviour whereas if the youngsters had to remain in school or college they may well stay out of trouble.

Overall, beginning employment early has more negative impacts than positive. Governments should consider carefully when and how they allow people to finish their education if they wish their nations to be prosperous in the future. 269 words

Teaching Point: Notice how I have used two conditional sentences here to discuss future changes. This demonstrates a wider range of grammar to the examiner and therefore helps to improve your band score. Make sure you brush up on the second conditional in particular, as it is often useful in IELTS essays.

Sample Essay # 7 – Two Part Question

Nowadays, some parents pressure their children to be successful. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development?

In recent years, some children have been put under pressure by their parents to be successful in life. This essay shall discuss both the reasons why this is so and whether this is a positive or negative development.

It appears that some of the youth of today are placed under pressure by their parents to be successful because the world has become a very materialistic place and in order to show how successful you are you need to have money to buy nice things. This usually means that a good education is needed so a well-paying job can be secured. Unfortunately, as a consequence of students studying to gain a high paying job, which their parents may wish for them, they may actually be doing something which is not what they want to do deep down in their soul. As a result, a student may begin to lack motivation in their studies, lack of passion for what they are doing or even become depressed as a result.

Furthermore, the pressure placed on young people to succeed at school may well mean that they do not take part in other valuable opportunities. For example, rather than taking part in an International Award programme they may well opt to do extra homework because of the time required to gain the award. However, participating in the award would have provided them with so many opportunities to learn new and different life skills, such as: social skills, trip planning, map reading, fund raising, teamwork and so on, skills which you simply cannot ever learn from a book.

To sum up, anything that could cause depression or reduce a young person’s opportunities has to be a negative. Parents need to think carefully about what type of life they want their child to actually have and not just on future financial prospects. 308 words

Teaching Point : Notice that I have used a range of sentence starters and connectives to help the essay flow. I have not simply repeated the same linking words like ‘and also’, ‘then’, or ‘next’ that are often overused in IELTS essays. Using a range like this means that the essay sounds more natural and native like and of course helps improve a band score.

Sample Essay #8 – Problem And Solution

In many countries, people have health problems because they choose to live an unhealthy lifestyle. What do you think the reasons for this are and how can it be solved? Give relevant examples from your experience?

In many places around the world, people are choosing to live an unhealthy lifestyle and are suffering significant health issues as a result. The following paragraphs shall discuss the possible cause of this and offer a number of solutions.

Firstly, one of the main causes of these health issues is the influence of advertising from big businesses trying to make a profit. These businesses have no morals and are only interested in making money, this means that they will target anyone they can even though they know that their products are bad for people’s health. For example, MacDonald’s are certainly aware that their food is bad for children but they still target them through the use of associating clowns and Disney characters with their ‘happy meals’.

Allied to the above, people are ill disciplined even when it comes to the importance of their own health. These days, everyone knows the risks of eating ‘junk’ food on a regular basis but many continue to do so. The reason for this is that it is just too convenient and they are just too lazy to make some real nutritious food for themselves. For instance, anyone who goes out on a weekend will have witnessed the large queues of young people in fast food restaurants even when there are much more healthy options nearby including various supermarkets which all sell healthy ingredients from which to make food from.

In summary, the power of big business and the weak will of humans is damaging the health of many. Governments, schools and parents should consider carefully how they are going to tackle these issues in the coming years. 273 words

Teaching Point: Usually the second or third sentence of a paragraph will be explaining the reasons for what has been stated in the topic sentence of the paragraph.

Sample Essay #9 – Discussion And Opinion

Nowadays, many families move to different countries. Some people think that children gain many benefits from this while others consider it to be hard for a child to move to a foreign country. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

These days it is not uncommon for whole families to migrate to other parts of the world. Some people are of the opinion that this has a negative impact on the children involved whereas others believe it has a positive impact. Personally, I think the positives outweigh the negatives and this essay shall outline both sides of the debate.

First and foremost, generally people only move to other countries if they believe there is going to be a significant improvement to their children’s lives. Often this takes the form of improved education opportunities. For example, when the UK entered the European Union there was an immediate influx of people and part of the reason for this is that the UK offers a free and a quality education to any youngsters living there. Many migrants believe that the key to future success is education and that moving to the UK will enhance their children’s future.

On the other hand, removing a child from the culture they have grown up in may severely disrupt their behaviour especially if they did not want to move in the first place. Teenagers and even younger children are very sensitive to change and a major change such as moving to another country could cause a lack of confidence. For example, suddenly a child has to east food they are not used to and may not like, suddenly they may also have to get used to weather they may not have even experienced before. All of these things could cause a child to experience mental health issues.

Overall, children often gain more opportunities by migrating abroad although they will face new challenges. Parents should carefully consider the potential impact a sudden move may have on a child before they make the final decision. 296 words

Teaching Point : 4 main paragraphs is usually enough for most IELTS essays. An introduction of about 50 words, two body paragraphs of about 90 words each, and a conclusion of about 30 words.

Sample Essay #10 – Discussion

Earlier technological developments brought more benefits and changed the lives of ordinary people more than recent technological developments. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Improvements in technology that occurred in the distant past produced more positive effects than the developments that have occurred in the last few years. I completely agree with this statement and the following paragraphs shall outline the reasons for this belief.

The first telephone completely revolutionized the way business was done and benefited humanity greatly. For the first time people could send messages long distances with ease and the pace of business increased dramatically making more people richer and creating more job opportunities. However, these days when the latest iPhone update comes out the only real changes are to do with fashion rather than providing any real new benefits. For example, now you can upload items to a ‘cloud’, or play more advanced games, but neither of these improvements in anyway compares to the first time phones were released to the public.

Similarly to the above, the first computers also transformed the way companies ran their businesses. Previously there were filing cabinets full of paperwork and accessing that information could take hours to locate the piece of information that you wanted. In contrast though, computers have been around for so long now that they have almost reached their limit in terms of how useful they could possibly be. For example, the only real changes that happen now are new releases of the Windows operating system and the so called improvements are actually just considered annoying changes to many rather than actual improvements.

In summary, the most profound long lasting impacts that technology has brought us occurred many years ago. These days’ beneficial changes now come in very small increments and I believe that will continue to be the case in the future. 282 words

Teaching Point: Always start with an introduction which rephrases the question. You should try to use different words i.e. synonyms and paraphrases of the original words in the question so that you can show to the examiner your range and level of vocabulary.

Sample Essay #11 – Discussion

Nowadays, people of all ages from certain parts of the world spend most of the time at home rather than going outdoors. Discuss the reasons for this and say whether it is a positive or negative development.

In this day and age it is far more common for individuals to spend the majority of their time inside rather than outside. I believe this is a negative development for society and the following paragraphs shall offer possible reasons why this could be the case.

Firstly, spending more time indoors naturally indicates decreased activity levels. This automatically leads to reduced health of populations due to problems such as obesity, stroke, heart attack and so on which are all linked with decreased levels of exercise. Clearly this is a major negative for everyone concerned. Governments have higher health costs, people die younger and families of course are deprived of a family member needlessly.

Secondly, the fact that people are indoors more often than not indicates that less time is spent socialising with others face to face. This can lead to mental health problems but also to a decline in the development of ‘real world’ social skills which help to make people employable. Afterall, in most places of work there is a definite need to communicate face to face with colleagues of customers and if an individual is not capable of doing this it does not matter how ‘book smart’ they are they will not be able to function adequately in the workplace.

Overall, it is clear to me that there are far more negatives to positives of people spending more time indoors than outside. Governments, education authorities and parents around the world should carefully consider the consequences of such a trend. 251 words

Teaching Point: Your main body paragraphs, which are the two paragraphs in the middle of your essay, should begin with a topic sentence. This topic sentence should say what the main point of your paragraph is and does not have to be too long or complex. The reader should be able to guess what the rest of the paragraph is going to be about just from reading your topic sentence.

IELTS Essay Samples Band 9 PDF

For convenience you can also download these sample band 9 answers as a pdf file here:

IELTS Essay Samples Band 9 pdf

What To Do Next?

If you want to see the exact process I use to write essays like the above band 9 answers then there are two options. You can read my main guide to writing IELTS essays here , or you can go straight to my IELTS course page which thousands of people have used to master each part of the IELTS test.

Recommended IELTS Study Tools

Thank you for reading this article. I always get lots of questions about how else to get a better band score quickly. So, this is what I recommend:

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ielts essay 9 band sample

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IELTS Writing Samples Task 2

The IELTS essays below will give you a better idea of how to turn your essay into a well-structured, complete-length essay.

Some countries achieve international success by building specialized facilities to train top athletes instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing ( for example, through cellphone tracking amd security cameras). in many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages, nowadays, some employers think that formal academic qualifications are more important than life experience or personal qualities when they look for new employees. why is it the case to what extent do you agree or disagree, today, many people do not know their neighbors in large city. what problems does this cause what can be done about this, some people believe that mobile phone conversations should be banned in crowded and social places, while others argue it is okay to be allowed. discuss both views and give your own opinion., beside a lot of advantages, some people believe that the internet creates many problems. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement, some people say that the government should spend more money taking care of elderly people while others think that government spending should be spent more on the education of young people. discuss both views and give your opinion., some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case do you think this is a positive or a negative development, the only way to improve road safety is to give much stricter punishments on driving offenses. to what extent do you agree or disagree, some people say that television is useful in education, while others say it is useful only for entertainment. discuss both of these views and give your opinion as to the usefulness of television as an educational tool., some people think that with the increasing use of mobile phones and computers, people lose the ability to communicate face to face. to what extent do you agree or disagree, in many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. some people think that the government has the responsibility to solve this problem. to what extent do you agree or disagree, some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learining a foriegn language at primary school rather than secondary school. do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, cities are becoming overcrowded. what are the causes of this situation, and what can be done to improve this situation, many people try to achieve success through their career or education. what can success mean to different people what is your view of success, in some cities although more and more people use public transport the roads are still crowded. how can this problem solved provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion., in some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. what are the advantages and disadvanteges of giving children this massege, nowadays, there is more and more competition for getting into university. is this a positive or negative development, when a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time in. to what extent do agree or disagree, some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. discuss both views and give your own opinion., some people believe that family has the greatest influence on children's devlopment while others think that other areas such as television friends have a greater influence. discuss both views and give your own opinion., if you have ever tried to log into your netflix account to watch shows or movies while travelling overseas, you may have encountered that the available content is different from home. should some movies on streaming like netflix be banned in some certain country, some students work while studying. this often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. what do you think are the causes of this what solutions can you suggest, some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in traveling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree. discuss both views and give your own opinion., many people say that companies should give importance to their employees, whereas others say that they should give importance to customers. discus both view and give your opinion., as countries develop, their populations tend to live individually or in small family units. what are the causes of this trend and what are the effects on society?, some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own, in some countries children have very strict rules of behaviour, while in other countries they are allowed to do almost anything they want. to what extent should children have to follow rules, it is thought by some that a school teacher's role is to motivate and inspire students. however, other people believe that a teacher's primary role is to pass on knowledge. what do you think is a role of a teacher, "prevention is better than cure". out of country's health budget a large proportion should be deverted from treatment in spending on health education and prevention measures.to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statment., nowadays many people choose to be self-employed rather than to work for a company. why might be this case what could be the disadvantage of being self-employed give your reasons for answer, what do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of using art in order to help people with emotional and physical conditions, more and more animal species are being extinct because of human activites on land and seas. why is this happening what are solutions for this problem, nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. do you think this is a positive or a negative development give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. write at least 250 words., some people think it is a waste of money to establish libraries since the public can use the internet at home to obtain information, do you agree or disagree, it is important for people to take risks, in both their professional lives and personal lives. do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages, as countries develop, their populations tend to live individually or in small family units. what are the causes of this trend and what are the effects on society, many organizations and companies ask their staff to wear a uniform. what are the advantages and disadvantages of this, some people believe that the biggest problem facing cities is the increasing number of cars. others say there more serious problems. discuss both views and give your opinion., some people prefer to live in rented homes. discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend, there are more new towns nowadays, it is more important to include public parks and sports for individuals to spend their free time. to what extent do you agree or disagree, technology is becoming progressively universal. in the fullness of time, classroom teachers will be totally substituted for technology. do you agree or disagree, nowadays many elderly people are living alone and this can cause a variety of problems. what are some of these problems, and what solutions can you suggest, in multi-cultural societies, people of different cultural backgrounds live and work together. do you think the advantages of multi-cultural societies outweigh the disadvantages, the most important aim of science should be to improve patient's lives. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement, today single-use products are still very common. what are the problems associated with this what are some possible solutions, some people think that manufactures and shopping malls should sell fewer packagaed products while others argue that people have the responsibility to buy products with less packaging. discuss both views and give your opinion., some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. discuss both views and give your own opinion., every year large numbers of people migrate from one country to another for different reasons. discuss the advantages and disadvantages of migration for the individual and for society as a whole., many food and drink prodcuts contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. do you agree or disagree, some people think that governments should give financial support to artists, musicians and poets. others think that it is a waste of money. discuss both views and give your opinion., some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. discuss both these views and give your own opinion., some people believe that software programming should be taught at primary school. others think that the focus at this level should be on playing. discuss both these views and give your own opinion, children now adays spend a great deal of time watching television, however, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool which is why children are less well- educated today to what extend do you agree or disagree., some people think that current environmental issues are global problems and should therefore be dealt with by the government, while others believe that these problems can only be tackled by individuals. discuss both sides and give your opinion., tourism is becoming a good source of revenue for many conutries. discuss the advantages and the disadvantages of developing this industry, tourism is becoming a good source of revenue for many conutries. discuss the advantages and the disadvantages of developing this industry., it is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages, these days many people have their own computeres and telephones, so it is quite easy for them to work at home. does working at home have more advantages or more disadvantages, since it is so easy to reach a large audience on the internet, people have to be exceptionally talented to become famous these days. to what extent do you agree or disagree, in many parts of the world, children's lives were very different from today. what do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of life for children in the past, some people think that government funding should not be used for supporting art & culture, while others think that supporting cultural activities may be beneficial for the population and the culture. discuss both views and give your own openion., in many coutries students take break of a year before entering into universities. what are the advantages and disadvantages., some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters(such as food, clothes, and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. discuss both views, some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters(such as food, clothes, and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. discuss both view, in many countries, plastic containers have become more common than ever and by used by many food and drinks companies. do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, in many countries, plastic containers have become more common than ever and by used by many food and drinks companies. do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantae, some say that it would be better if the majority of employees worked from home instead of travelling to workplace every day. do you think the advantages of working from home outweigh the disadvantages give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example for your own knowledge or experience., what are causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity, some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes, and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. discuss both views and give your own opnion, in many countries, the government prioritizes economic growth above all other concerns. discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this., many students find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school. what are the reasons what could be done to solve this problem, do you agree or disagree with the following statement people should read only those books that are about real events, real people, and established facts. use specific reasons and details to support your opinion., nowadays we are producing more and more rubbish. why do you think this is happening what can the government do to reduce the amount of waste produced, in many countries, an increase in crime has been blamed on violent images on television and in computer and video games. to what extent do you agree or disagree, school should not force students who do not have natural ability for learning foreign language to study other language at school. to what extent do you agree or disagree, in many cities, many people are living in large apartment blocks. does this accommodation have more advantages or disadvantages, the tradition of families getting together to eat meals is disappearing . what are the reasons , learning english at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. if these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. in your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn english should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how, some people think that water is the most important natural resource. others believe that other resources (such as oil and gold) are more important. discuss both views and give your own opinion., robots and artifical intelligence are veing developed to replace humans in the workplace. why is this happen do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society, some people think mobile phones should be banned in public places such as libraries, shops and public transport. to what extend do agree or disagree with this statement, some people argue that usage of technology (mobile technology) is not helping for people to socialize do you agree or disagree, individual can do nothing to improve the environment; only government and large companies can make a difference. to what extend do you agree or disagree, in spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. why is this case what can be done about this problem, people have difference visions about shopping online some of them encourage and others says its disadvantage outweigh their advantage, what is your opinion, robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace. why is this happening do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society, many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problems. sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. do you agree or disagree, some people think that governments should use the money to provide faster means of public transport, while others are concerned that there are many more important priorities than public transport. discuss both views and give your opinion., some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. what are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience. write at least 250 words., many believe that an effective public transport system is a key component of modern city. what are the advantages and disadvantages of public transport, in education and employment, some people work harder than others. why do some people work harder is it always a good thing to work hard, some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job strai, homelessness is increasing in many major cities around the world. what do you think are the main causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it, some people think that new houses should be built in the same style as older houses in the local area. others disagree and say that local authorities should allow people to build houses in the styles of their own choice. discuss both views and give your opinion, health care should not be provided for free regardless of a person’s income. the health of citizens is in their own hands and they should, therefore, be held accountable for that. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

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Band 9 Essay

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Band 9 IELTS Essay Samples

A band 9 IELTS essay fully addresses all aspects of the given task. Rarely, it might contain minor errors which are ‘slips’ rather than a demonstration of a lack of understanding of grammar rules. It clearly answers all the questions in the task rubric and defends the arguments with relevant and well supported ideas.  It uses a wide range of vocabulary appropriate for the context. A band 9 essay uses cohesive elements in such a way that they do not stick out.

Here is a collection of band 9 IELTS essay samples.

You can find more band 9 essays here . For the complete archive of band 9 essays on this blog, please visit this page.

Band 9 essay samples

  • The main environmental concern of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals
  • Online currencies have become more common in recent years
  • Band 9 IELTS essay samples | Archive
  • Public libraries are no longer important
  • Space exploration is a waste of money
  • Schools should prepare students for university rather than work
  • The best way to become successful in life is to get university education
  • The government should focus on reducing environmental problems and housing problems to prevent illness
  • Cultural traditions will be destroyed when they are used as money making machines
  • Job satisfaction is more important than salary
  • Young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between high school and university
  • Some people fail in school but end up being successful in life
  • Some people spend hours every day on their smart phones
  • Advantages and disadvantages of computers
  • Allowing children to make their own choices is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their wishes
  • Children should not be given homework every day
  • New houses should be built in the same style as the older houses in the local area
  • Some people think that educational success depends on a good teacher
  • Nowadays people are spending more time in workplace and staying away from home
  • Some people consider price as the most important thing when buying a product or service
  • Countries are becoming more and more similar
  • Many working people get little or no exercise and develop help problems as a result
  • What are the pros and cons of public transportation
  • Governments should spend money on railways rather than road ways
  • Some people think that physical strength is more important for success in sports
  • Some people say it is important to keep home and workplace tidy
  • The best way to solve traffic congestion in city is to provide free public transport for 24 hours a day
  • The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on healthcare system
  • In some areas of the US a curfew is imposed in which teenagers cannot be out of doors at night
  • Band 9 essay about handmade and machine made goods
  • When choosing a job salary is the most important consideration
  • Advertising discourages people from being different individuals by making us all want to do the same
  • Nowadays, it is common for people to get married and have children in their thirties
  • Punishment is necessary to help children learn the difference between right and wrong
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Band 9 sample essay – technology

Home  »  IELTS BAND 9 ESSAYS  »  Band 9 sample essay – technology

Some people believe that technology has made man more social. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Experts throughout both the developing and developed world have debated whether the advent of sophisticated modern technology  such as mobile phones, laptops and iPad have helped to enhance and improve people's social lives or whether the opposite has become the case.

Personally, I strongly advocate the former view. This essay will discuss both sides using examples from the UK government and Oxford University to demonstrate points and prove arguments.

On the one hand there is ample, powerful, almost daily evidence that such technology can be detrimental especially to the younger generation who are more easily affected by it’s addictive nature  and which can result in people feeling more isolated from the society .

The central reason behind this is twofold, firstly, the invention of online social media sites and apps, such as Twitter and Facebook have reduced crucial face-to-face interactions dramatically . Through use of these appealing and attractive mediums, people feel in touch and connected yet lack key social skills and the ability to communicate.

Secondly, dependence on such devices is built up frighteningly easily which may have a damaging effect on mental health and encourage a sedentary lifestyle . For example, recent scientific research by the UK government demonstrated that 90% of people in their 30s spend over 20 hours per week on Messenger and similar applications to chat with their friends instead of meeting up and spending quality time together  or doing sport. As a result, it is conclusively clear that these technology advancements have decreased and diminished our real life interactions.

On the other hand, although there are significant downsides to technological developments, its’ multifold advantages cannot be denied. This is largely because the popularity of technology such as cellphones allows people to connect freely and easily with no geographical barriers .

People are able to share any type of news, information, photos and opinions with their loved ones whenever and wherever they want therefore keeping a feeling of proximity and closeness. For example, an extensive study by Oxford University illustrated that people who work, or study abroad and use applications like Facetime and WhatsApp to chat with their families, are less likely to experience loneliness and feel out of the loop than those who do not.

Consistent with this line of thinking is that businessmen are also undoubtedly able to benefit from these advances by holding virtual real -time meetings using Skype which may increase the chance of closing business deals without the need to fly.

From the arguments and examples given I firmly believe that overall communication and mans’ sociability has been advanced enormously due to huge the huge technological progress of the past twenty years and despite some potentially serious health implications which governments should not fail to address, it is predicted that its popularity will continue to flourish in the future.

Here are some of the collocations used in this essay which you may find useful to!

  • sophisticated modern technology
  • enhance and improve people's social lives
  • addictive nature
  • feel out of the loop
  • isolated from society
  • reduce crucial face-to-face interactions dramatically
  • a damaging effect on mental health
  • encourage a sedentary lifestyle
  • spend quality time together
  • connect freely and easily with no geographical barriers
  • proximity and closeness
  • its less likely to experience loneliness
  • popularity will continue to flourish

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IELTS Writing Task 2: Discussion Sample Essay

2 people discussing IELTS task 2 essay

Today we’re going to look at a discussion essay IELTS sample that’s considered Band 9. This Band 9 scored essay matched the pattern for the “discussion” type of Writing Task 2 question. Discussion essays are sometimes also called “discuss both sides” essays. In this kind of essay, you will be presented with two statements of opinion that oppose each other. You will then be asked to “discuss both sides” of the debate, and to give your own opinion. For more information on this and other question types, including tips, tricks, and general advice for the discussion essay question type, see Magoosh’s full guide to IELTS Writing Task 2 question types .

Discussion Essay IELTS Sample: Band 9

The essay below is a band 9 model IELTS essay, patterned after Magoosh’s IELTS Writing Task 2 Template .

IELTS Writing Discussion Essay Practice Question

Some people seek a lot of advice from family and friends when choosing their career. Others feel it is better to choose a career more independently. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Write at least 250 words.

Discussion Essay IELTS Sample Band 9 Response

Choosing a career can be a challenging process. It can be difficult to say whether this decision should be made alone, or made with input from loved ones. In my opinion, it is best to find one’s career independently, with no more than a small amount of advice from family or friends. Below, I will explain why I feel that we must ultimately face career decisions on our own.

Getting career guidance input from loved ones can be confusing rather than useful. Family and friends likely have different careers, and thus give different, conflicting advice. Suppose, for instance, that your father is a teacher, your mother is an accountant, and your best friend is a nurse. They have all made very different career decisions, and only have knowledge on their respective careers. Different people will likely only steer you to their careers, without giving good advice on your own best path.

In contrast, focusing on one’s own preferences and skills provides a clearer path to the right career. After all, individuals have the best knowledge of their own abilities and interests. As an example, if someone has gone to university to study biology, they will know more about biology careers than a family member or friend who does not have that same kind of training. Ultimately, your career must be built on your own training and experience, not the training and experience of others.

For the reasons I’ve outlined above, I really do believe that career decisions are a matter of personal knowledge. Other people, even trusted family and friends, simply cannot understand your career the way you can. To select your field of work wisely, you must face this important decision alone.

Scorer Commentary (Discussion IELTS Essay Sample, Band 9)

The score report below is based on the official IELTS Writing Task 2 rubric . This report also looks very similar to the Magoosh IELTS essay scoring service .

Overall Band Score: 9

What was done well in the essay:

  • At 283 words, this essay exceeded the 250 word minimum. (This is very important for getting full points!)
  • Each part of the task was fully addressed. Both sides of the issue were discussed in the first and second body paragraphs. Moreover, reasons and relevant examples were included.
  • Each paragraph had its own clear topic sentence and supporting details, with explanations of the details, and summarization of the most important ideas.
  • Transitional language was used to clearly tie in all paragraphs to clear main ideas from the introduction and conclusion.
  • Vocabulary and grammar were used clearly and fluently. There were no serious errors in grammar or word use; word choice and sentence structure varied and avoided significant repetition.

More Model Essays for IELTS Writing Task 2

Would you like the see model essays for the other common IELTS Writing Task 2 question types as well? Magoosh has you covered! Just click the links below.

  • Advantage/Disadvantage Essay
  • Two-Part Question Essay
  • Causes/Solutions Essay
  • Agree/Disagree Essay

David Recine

David is a Test Prep Expert for Magoosh TOEFL and IELTS. Additionally, he’s helped students with TOEIC, PET, FCE, BULATS, Eiken, SAT, ACT, GRE, and GMAT. David has a BS from the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire and an MA from the University of Wisconsin-River Falls. His work at Magoosh has been cited in many scholarly articles , his Master’s Thesis is featured on the Reading with Pictures website, and he’s presented at the WITESOL (link to PDF) and NAFSA conferences. David has taught K-12 ESL in South Korea as well as undergraduate English and MBA-level business English at American universities. He has also trained English teachers in America, Italy, and Peru. Come join David and the Magoosh team on Youtube , Facebook , and Instagram , or connect with him via LinkedIn !

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Person pointing pencil at head to indicate causes and solutions essay

5 responses to “IELTS Writing Task 2: Discussion Sample Essay”

Jinil Bhavsar Avatar

Contractions must be avoided because they are a sign of informal writing style. Whereas essay’s should be written in formal way.

Magoosh Expert

You are correct that contractions shouldn’t be used in the formal Task 2 essay. However, note that they can be used at times, such as in IELTS Speaking or in Task 1 if you are asked to write an informal letter.

Happy studying!

Ore Avatar

Greetings, and thank you for this model essay. I wanted to ask a question relating to the discussion essay’s addressing of the task. Since the two views are 1) Some people think it is beneficial to ask for advice from friends/loved ones, and 2) others think that it is better to do so alone, why isn’t the 2nd paragraph addressing the benefits but instead talks about how it can be confusing? Isn’t a discussion essay’s structure supposed to be something like this:

2nd paragraph: Reasons people believe asking for help to decide for a career is good 3rd paragraph: Reasons people believe doing it on your own is good Conclusion: Giving your own opinion

Thank you for your time!

Good question! The short answer is that both approaches work! The directions are simply to “discuss both views,” but you don’t have to provide support for both sides. You can also discuss the problems or issues with one side, as this essay has done. Does that make sense? I’d suggest reviewing more sample essays to get a better sense of this.

Hope this helps, and best of luck to you!

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Analysing a Band 9 Sample Answer for IELTS Writing Task 2

Posted by David S. Wills | Jul 16, 2021 | IELTS Tips , Writing | 0

Analysing a Band 9 Sample Answer for IELTS Writing Task 2

Today, I want to analyse a sample band 9 answer to an IELTS writing task 2 question in order to show you what exactly makes an essay successful. Now, there are many things that could make a great essay, but today I just want to show you a few things you might not have thought about before in order to to show you what contributes to an essay getting the highest possible score.

I will start by talking about whether or not sample IELTS essays are actually worthwhile or not, then I’ll group the things I want to talk about into the 4 criteria by which all IELTS essays are judged – that’s Task Achievement, Coherence and Cohesion , Lexical Resource , and Grammatical Range and Accuracy. If you have a special interest in one of these areas, you can skip ahead to that, but I think it’s better to read the whole article.

If you prefer to watch this video, which contains many annotated examples, you can watch it instead of reading this whole article.

Are Band 9 Sample Answers Worthwhile?

Before we begin this lesson properly, I feel I should give a sort of disclaimer. Band 9 sample answers are probably not as useful or important as you might think and there are a few things that you must consider before you use them. Firstly, not all essays that are labelled as “band 9 sample answers” are really good enough to get band 9 in a real IELTS test. As I’ve said many times before here and elsewhere, most IELTS materials are made by people who can’t actually speak English very well and do not understand the exam. These people tend to write essays that are crammed full of words they found in the dictionary but which are incorrectly used. These are absolutely not helpful.

But let’s put them aside for the moment. Let’s say you find a sample answer that really is good enough to get band 9. What can you learn from these? Well, if you use them properly, you can learn quite a lot, but many English learners seem to think of these essays as something they need to reproduce. They tend to view them as the correct way of writing an essay, when in fact it is just one possible example of how an essay could be written.

As such, please note that whether you are using my sample answers or anyone else’s, you should not view them as something you need to copy in any way. Use them instead for inspiration. Maybe you can find some words or phrases there that are helpful, or perhaps the structure is different than in your own essay. You might also find that the writer puts forth their ideas in a very clear way, or there may be some interesting ideas you had not thought of before.

All this is to say, of course, that sample band 9 answers CAN be useful, but that you should not be overly reliant upon them. Considering that, let’s look at our question and answer for today.

A Sample Band 9 Answer

Let’s start by look at the question because all great IELTS essays must start from there. Here is the question we will be analysing:

In many countries today, many highly qualified graduates struggle to find employment. What factors may have caused this situation? What can be done about it?

First of all, let’s think what this question means and what our answer should include. It seems pretty straightforward to me. The fundamental issue is that graduates with good qualifications are finding it difficult to get jobs. We need to talk about why that has happened and what could be done to fix the situation. As you can see, it is a cause and solution question.

analysing ielts task 2 question

To this question, I would give a four-paragraph answer. First of all, my introduction would briefly explain the situation, then I would give an essay outline that said what would come next. My first body paragraph would look at the factors that caused it and the second would pose some suggestions for fixing the problem. Finally, there would be a short conclusion.

ielts writing task 2 structure (cause and solution essay)

Sample Band 9 Answer

Here’s my answer to the above question:

As an increasing number of people go to university, it is now common that graduates cannot find employment. This is a worrying situation, but there are some solutions to it. The current problem of graduate unemployment is largely caused by there being too many graduates. In the past fifty years, going to university has evolved from being an extremely rare occurrence for the smartest students who wished to learn specialist knowledge into something that millions of young people do. The result is a surplus of over-qualified candidates chasing the same jobs. In many countries, the economy is contracting and these graduates have to fight over very few available positions. The ones who do not get a job are left unemployed because they feel too qualified to take a lower-level position and work their way up, especially after having spent four years gaining advanced qualifications. Thankfully, there are some possible solutions. The first thing to do is to recognise that higher education has become too common, and so perhaps it is time that alternative routes are sought. Rather than going from high school to university, students can instead be encouraged to find a vocational training program and enter the workforce soon after leaving school. This would allow them to learn some practical skills rather than the theoretical knowledge they would get from university, and then build up real work experience over a long period of time. In addition, universities could set up better facilities for students to get such practical experience, so that when they look for employment after graduation, they will not be at such a disadvantage. In conclusion, many graduates are unable to find employment nowadays, and there are various reasons for this. The solutions are not easy to apply, but there are some possibilities to reduce the severity of this situation.

Task Achievement

What makes this essay successful in terms of Task Achievement? This part of the test may seem subjective and frustrating because we all have different ideas about issues – particularly ones such as employment and education, which are naturally going to vary from culture to culture. Please note that there are no right and wrong answers in an IELTS exam and even a strange answer could be successful if it was presented intelligently.

The important thing to note from the band descriptors is that your essay must “fully address all parts of” the question and that it is “fully developed” with “relevant, fully extended, and well developed ideas.” One of the biggest problems people face here is cramming too many ideas into their essay. It is impossible to develop your essay sufficiently if you make it into a vast list of supporting arguments. Instead, pick one or two ideas and then develop them.

Let’s look at the second paragraph of my essay. I have picked an idea, which is that there are simply too many graduates nowadays. You might agree with me or disagree with me, but that is not important. Maybe there is a better idea… but again it does not matter because the important thing is that my topic sentence is very clear and each of the sentences that follow it directly support it. The first sentence states my idea in simple terms. The second explains the issue from an education standpoint, with the third making the result very clear – there are too many graduates. The final two sentences tie this to employment and show precisely why having so many graduates causes high unemployment rates.

An examiner might read this and think, “Well, I had a better idea…” but they could not fault me for how mine was explained, and that is key to understanding Task Achievement. It is not about the right idea or the wrong idea; it is about explaining and developing your ideas logically.

Coherence and Cohesion

When it comes to Coherence and Cohesion , there is a lot to consider, but fundamentally it is all about presenting your ideas in a way that guides the reader logically from one point to the next. This means you need a good structure that groups your ideas sensibly and also that you need your ideas to be connected from one clause or sentence to the next.

coherence and cohesion for band 9

I showed you my structure earlier and that is where all good essays should begin. My essay has four paragraphs, which is really all you need for a cause and solution essay – or pretty much any other IELTS essay, for that matter. I devoted one paragraph to the causes and one to the solutions, so that fulfils the requirements for organisation. But structure is easy. You could learn it in a few hours. What is harder is having progression and linking your sentences.

In terms of progression, I explained in the previous section about how each of the supporting sentences in body paragraph developed the topic sentence. This is a good start, but it does not guarantee good progression. I like to think of paragraph structure in terms of making a big statement, then making it more and more specific until you get into the fine details, using examples or hypothetical statements to link the minute details back to the bigger picture.

developing a topic sentence

Doing this isn’t easy. First, you need to think logically and plan your essay, and then you need to use clear language to guide the reader. In my third paragraph, I started with a transitional statement that joined the ideas from the end of paragraph two to the main idea of paragraph three. The main idea started with “The first thing to do…” which is incredibly clear and easy to understand. The reader could not possibly be confused by what I’m saying. Again, my topic sentence presents a broad idea and is followed by another sentence that defines it more clearly. This is followed by a sentence that uses referencing effectively to convey a hypothetical scenario to make my suggestion clear to the reader. I say “This would allow them…” Many people forget that the use of words like “this” and “them” is essential for a good Coherence and Cohesion score.  

how to structure and ielts body paragraph

Finally, I would ask you to look at my essay and tell me how many cohesive devices I’ve used. How many sentences begin with those classic IELTS phrases “On the one hand… on the other hand… for example…” and so on? I would argue that “Thankfully,” “In addition,” and “In conclusion” are the only ones I’ve used. That’s because an essay that intuitively guides its reader by using subtle and intelligent cues will not need many cohesive devices . In fact, it clearly says in the band descriptors that over-using them would cause your score for this section to be around 6 or at most 7.

If you want to understand Coherence and Cohesion fully, then check out the video I made a few weeks ago. It goes into a lot of detail and will help you to understand what is probably the most difficult part of the band descriptors.

Lexical Resource

Whilst Coherence and Cohesion is probably the most difficult part of the band descriptors, Lexical Resource is surely the most misunderstood. That’s because IELTS teachers all around the world are busy telling their students to “use advanced vocabulary.” It is, quite frankly, an idiotic approach and these people are responsible for countless disappointing exam results.

What you need to think of when it comes to IELTS writing is using language in an accurate way and using vocabulary that is topic-specific. Sticking a so-called “advanced” word into your essay should not even cross your mind.

I think most of the people reading this article could look at my essay and understand all of the words I have used. That is because there are no words here that I’ve plucked at random from the middle of a dictionary. However, all of my words are used correctly and that is by far the most important thing. There are also some words that are specific to the topics of education and employment, which is also helpful.

If we look at paragraph three again, we can see some examples of this. The phrase “higher education” is used rather than repeating “university” over and over. “Alternative routes” is used to suggest a different way of going into employment. Importantly, this is a natural phrase that a native speaker would know rather than an awkward expression that has been cobbled together from words we would not intuitively use. The phrase “vocational training program” is excellent because this is a really topic-specific phrase. It falls into the category of “uncommon vocabulary” but you will note that it is not some insanely obscure phrase. This is the sort of language that you should aim for: accurate and relevant. Beyond that we have “workforce” and “theoretical knowledge.”

Importantly, my words are collocated correctly. That means they go together in natural ways. When I say “look for employment after graduation,” it might seem easy to you… You might be surprised this is in a band 9 essay… but a lot of IELTS candidates would write “seek for employment” or misuse the noun “job-seeker” by forcing it into a verb form.

I cannot stress enough the importance of accuracy here. If you want to learn more about Lexical Resource (and I think everyone should), then check out my video on it. This is a deep dive into a profoundly misunderstood subject.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

Whilst the first three marking criteria have mildly confusing names, Grammatical Range and Accuracy is really very obvious. It is about both range and accuracy.

This means that your essay should use grammar in a correct way (that’s accuracy) but also use different structures (that’s range). You don’t have to go completely over the top and use every single verb tense, clause, and sentence type that your English teacher ever taught you, but it’s best not to sound repetitive.

Going back to paragraph two, we saw a breakdown of the sentences that I used to explain the causes of graduate unemployment. What do you notice about these 5 sentences? It is not obvious when they are written properly in an essay, but when formatted like this, we can see that they vary in length. This is something that good writers do without even thinking about it. Whilst it is not the most important part of an essay, it does affect the reader’s appreciation of it and can impact meaning. Note that the shortest sentence here functions to present a simple point after a very long sentence filled with detail. This is almost like a mid-paragraph conclusion that forces the reader to pay attention.

If we look at the first three sentences, we can see a compound sentence (with the dependent clause first), then a complex sentence, and then a simple sentence. There is a compound-complex sentence at the end of paragraph two, meaning that all 4 sentence types have been included. This is not strictly necessary but it does help in terms of range. I have used relative clauses and switched between active and passive voice where necessary. I have used modals intelligently and all my subjects and verbs are in the correct form. Even my punctuation is right.

This might seem like a very difficult thing to achieve and indeed grammar is the hardest part of the writing test in my opinion. However, it is worth noting that the band descriptors explicitly state that you can make “rare minor errors” and still get band 9, so you can take some encouragement from that.

I really hope that this article has been useful for you. As I stated earlier, sample answers are not always particularly helpful and can sometimes even cause further problems for the people who try to use them. On my website, I have many sample answers that I have written and each of them comes with some description that explains why I have written the essay in that way. I think this is really important because otherwise there is not much you can really learn from them.

are sample answers for ielts worthwhile?

The important thing to take away from today’s lesson though is that, whilst getting a high score for IELTS is certainly not easy, there really is no secret to it. For Task Achievement, you just have to provide a fully developed answer. For Coherence and Cohesion, you have to organise and link your ideas logically. For Lexical Resource and Grammatical Range and Accuracy, you have to make sure that your words are used correctly and that you don’t repeat yourself too much. That’s pretty much the core of it, and anyone who’s teaching tricks and tips is just misleading you.

About The Author

David S. Wills

David S. Wills

David S. Wills is the author of Scientologist! William S. Burroughs and the 'Weird Cult' and the founder/editor of Beatdom literary journal. He lives and works in rural Cambodia and loves to travel. He has worked as an IELTS tutor since 2010, has completed both TEFL and CELTA courses, and has a certificate from Cambridge for Teaching Writing. David has worked in many different countries, and for several years designed a writing course for the University of Worcester. In 2018, he wrote the popular IELTS handbook, Grammar for IELTS Writing and he has since written two other books about IELTS. His other IELTS website is called IELTS Teaching.

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IELTS Band 9 Essays Sample: Writing Task Answers To Score Band 9

Do you want to get a perfect score on your IELTS essay writing task This article includes two IELTS Band 9 Essays as well as additional information on how to increase your score

8/25/2023 3 min read

ielts essay 9 band sample

Are you gearing up for the IELTS exam and aiming for that elusive Band 9 score? Look no further! In this comprehensive guide, we'll delve into IELTS essay samples and provide you with top-notch writing task answers that will help you achieve that coveted Band 9 score. Whether you're a seasoned test-taker or a newbie, these insights and examples will boost your confidence and enhance your IELTS writing skills.

Introduction to IELTS Writing Task

The IELTS Writing Task is a critical component of the International English Language Testing System (IELTS) exam. It assesses your ability to articulate your thoughts clearly and coherently in written English. The writing section comprises two tasks: Task 1 requires candidates to interpret and describe visual information, while Task 2 involves crafting an essay on a given topic. It's Task 2 that holds the key to achieving a Band 9 score, and we're here to unlock that door for you.

Understanding the Band Descriptors

Before we dive into the nitty-gritty of IELTS essay writing, it's essential to comprehend the Band Descriptors. These descriptors outline the criteria for each band score (ranging from 0 to 9) and offer valuable insights into what the examiners are looking for. Let's take a closer look:

Task Achievement (H2) : To score in the Band 9 category, you must fully address all parts of the prompt, present a clear position, and offer comprehensive and well-supported ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion (H2) : Your essay should exhibit exceptional organizational skills. Ideas must flow logically, with a seamless connection between sentences and paragraphs.

Lexical Resource (H2) : Band 9 essays flaunt an extensive vocabulary used precisely and appropriately. This demonstrates your ability to convey nuanced meanings effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (H2) : Expectations are high in this category. Your grammar and sentence structures should be intricate, error-free, and versatile.

Structuring Your IELTS Essay

A well-structured essay lays the foundation for success. Here's how to structure your IELTS essay:

Crafting a Strong Introduction (H2)

Your introduction should be concise yet engaging. Clearly state your position on the topic and provide a roadmap of the points you'll address.

Developing Cohesive Body Paragraphs (H2)

Each body paragraph should focus on a single idea that supports your thesis. Start with a topic sentence, provide evidence and examples, and analyze their significance.

Concluding with Impact (H2)

Your conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your thesis in a fresh way. Avoid introducing new ideas; instead, leave the reader with something to ponder.

IELTS Essay Samples and Analysis

Sample essay 1: education and technology (h3).

In today's digital age, technology has revolutionized education. This essay explores how technology enhances learning experiences, fosters engagement, and prepares students for a tech-driven world.

Sample Essay 2: Environmental Conservation (H3)

Environmental conservation is a global concern. This essay examines the role of individuals, governments, and international cooperation in preserving our planet for future generations.

Sample Essay 3: Globalization and Culture (H3)

Globalization has connected the world like never before. This essay discusses how cultures can coexist harmoniously while retaining their unique identities in the face of globalization.

Tips for Achieving Band 9

Enhancing vocabulary and lexical resource (h2).

Expand your vocabulary by reading extensively. Make a conscious effort to incorporate new words into your writing, but use them appropriately.

Mastering Grammar and Sentence Structure (H2)

Grammar is the backbone of your essay. Brush up on complex sentence structures, tenses, and punctuation to elevate your writing.

Coherence and Cohesion: The Key to Seamless Writing (H2)

Use linking words and transition phrases to connect ideas. A well-organized essay enhances readability and coherence.

Common Mistakes to Avoid

Ambiguous thesis statements (h3).

Your thesis should be crystal clear. Ambiguity leaves room for misinterpretation, affecting your overall message.

Overgeneralization in Body Paragraphs (H3)

Support your arguments with specific examples and evidence. Overgeneralization weakens the persuasiveness of your essay.

Repetition and Redundancy (H3)

Repetition can bore your readers. Vary your vocabulary and sentence structures to keep the essay engaging.

Practice Makes Perfect

Selecting your own essay topics (h2).

Practice writing essays on various topics to broaden your perspective and enhance your adaptability.

Setting a Realistic Writing Schedule (H2)

Consistent practice is key. Create a writing schedule that suits your routine and stick to it.

The Art of Time Management

Planning and outlining (h3).

Allocate a few minutes to outline your essay. A well-structured plan prevents aimless writing.

Writing Under Timed Conditions (H3)

Simulate exam conditions by writing within the time limit. Time management is crucial for IELTS success.

Conclusion: Your Path to Band 9 Success

With determination, practice, and the right strategies, achieving a Band 9 score in the IELTS Writing Task is within your reach. Remember, it's not just about impeccable grammar; it's about expressing ideas coherently, substantiating arguments effectively, and engaging the reader. Follow the guidelines, learn from the samples, and embark on your journey to IELTS excellence.

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IELTS Report Samples of Band 9

  • IELTS Reports- Band 9 , IELTS Writing Samples

IELTS Model Report Samples Band 9, 2023

Here you can find IELTS Report samples of Band 9, written by a native English speaker and a former IELTS examiner. Robert Nicholson is the co-author of ‘High Scorer’s Choice’ IELTS Practice Tests book series, created in collaboration with Simone Braverman, the founder of this website.

New reports are being added weekly. Last updated: September 15, 2022

IELTS Band 9 sample report 1

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  5. Band 9 IELTS Writing Essay [Full Sample Answer ⬇️]

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  1. 35 Sample Band 9 IELTS Essays

    35 Sample Band 9 IELTS Essays. Take a look at these 35 sample Band 9 IELTS essays for writing task 2 of the IELTS exam. Task 2 can cover a wide range of essay topics for the IELTS writing task section of the test, so preparation is key. Use the following samples when preparing your IELTS essays to see how close you are to a band 9!

  2. IELTS Essay Samples of Band 9

    Below are IELTS Band 9 Essay samples, written by a native English speaker and former IELTS examiner. Robert Nicholson is the co-author of 'High Scorer's Choice' IELTS Practice Tests book series, created in collaboration with Simone Braverman, the founder of this website.

  3. IELTS Writing Samples Band 9

    IELTS Writing Samples Band 9. Get a band score and detailed report instantly. Check your IELTS essays right now! ... Writing9 was developed to check essays from the IELTS Writing Task 2 and Letters/Charts from Task 1. The service helps students practice writing for IELTS and improve their writing skills. By using this site, you agree to read ...

  4. 100 Band 7, 8 + 9 IELTS Writing Task 2 Essay Samples

    In this blog post, we have compiled a list of 100 Band 7, 8, and 9 IELTS Writing Task 2 essay samples to help you improve your writing skills and boost your chances of achieving a high score on the exam. These sample essays cover a wide range of topics, from education and technology to health and environment, and are a valuable resource for ...

  5. IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 9

    The IELTS writing task 2 sample answer below has examiner comments and is band score 9. The topic of social media is common and this IELTS essay question was reported in the IELTS test. Check the model essay and then read the comments. Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both ...

  6. Band 9 IELTS Essays

    Band 9 IELTS Essays. Here at ielts-practice.org we have a huge collection of band 9 IELTS essay samples. Click on the links below to read our band 9 essay samples. IELTS essay topics tend to repeat. It is, therefore, imperative that you practice writing essays on topics asked in recent IELTS exams. We are adding more essays to this page, so ...

  7. IELTS Band 9 Essays

    IELTS Band 9 Essay sample Some authorities think that it is more favourable for pupils to begin studying languages at primary school instead of secondary school. This essay will argue that the advantages of this outweigh the drawbacks. The essay will first demonstrate that the earlier someone learns an additional language the more likely they ...

  8. 7 IELTS Essay Samples of Band 9 Students

    Finally, here are the 7 examples of Band 9 essays. IELTS Writing Sample Essay 1 -Fresh water demand causes and measures. IELTS Writing Sample Essay 2 - Forests are the lungs of the earth. IELTS Writing Sample Essay 3 - Job and money. IELTS Writing Sample Essay 4 - Aim of University Education.

  9. IELTS Model Essay Score 9 for Direct Questions

    IELTS Model Essay Score 9 for Direct Questions. This is an estimated band score 9 model for an IELTS writing task 2 direct questions essay. This model essay shows you how to answer each question directly and how to organise the answers into paragraphs. Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness.

  10. Band 9 Essay Sample

    Band 9 IELTS Essay # 1: You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: The environmental problems that today's world is facing are so great that there is little ordinary people can do to improve the situation. So government and large organizations should be responsible for reducing the amount of damage being ...

  11. IELTS Essays

    Here you can find IELTS Essay samples of Band 9, written by a native English speaker and a former IELTS examiner. Robert Nicholson is the co-author of 'High Scorer's Choice' IELTS Practice Tests book series, created in collaboration with Simone Braverman, the founder of this website. New essays are being added weekly.

  12. IELTS Band 9 Writing Samples: Task 2 Essays

    IELTS Band 9 Writing Samples: Task 2 Essays. Tim James. June 19, 2021. One of the best ways of learning how to write better is to simply read sample IELTS band 9 essay answers, and that is exactly what we have here: 10, Band 9 sample IELTS essays. Each essay is followed by a teaching point to show you why it is a band 9 IELTS essay.

  13. IELTS Writing Samples Task 2

    The IELTS essays below will give you a better idea of how to turn your essay into a well-structured, complete-length essay. Some people believe that politicians are more influential than scientists, whilst others believe that scientists have more influence. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

  14. Band 9 Essay

    Band 9 Essay Sample. 34007. IELTS Materials. IELTS Bar Graph. IELTS Line Graph. IELTS Table Chart. IELTS Flow Chart. IELTS Pie Chart. IELTS Letter Writing.

  15. IELTS 9 Band Essay: IELTS Writing Samples Band 9

    Scoring well in the writing task 2 essay requires the student to practice IELTS sample essays for band 9. However, with the help of certain tips like understanding the scoring system, analyzing the question before writing, recognizing the category of the essay, dividing the 40 minutes into reading, planning, writing and reviewing, etc., a ...

  16. Band 9 IELTS Essay Samples

    Band 9 IELTS Essay Samples. A band 9 IELTS essay fully addresses all aspects of the given task. Rarely, it might contain minor errors which are 'slips' rather than a demonstration of a lack of understanding of grammar rules. It clearly answers all the questions in the task rubric and defends the arguments with relevant and well supported ideas.

  17. IELTS Band 9 essay, topic: Schools should teach their students how to

    Hi Christopher, this essay is close to Band 9 level, and it was written by a former IELTS examiner. The intro paragraph explains the issue and and although it doesn't use entirely different words to those in task prompt, that's absolutely fine, because the intro paragraph demonstrates a high level of English writing and advanced vocabulary.

  18. IELTS Band 9 Sample Essay

    Here are some of the collocations used in this essay which you may find useful to! sophisticated modern technology. enhance and improve people's social lives. addictive nature. feel out of the loop. isolated from society. reduce crucial face-to-face interactions dramatically. a damaging effect on mental health. encourage a sedentary lifestyle.

  19. IELTS Writing Task 2 Discussion Sample Essay (Band 9)

    on. April 21, 2021. in. IELTS Writing Task 2: Academic & General Training. Today we're going to look at a discussion essay IELTS sample that's considered Band 9. This Band 9 scored essay matched the pattern for the "discussion" type of Writing Task 2 question. Discussion essays are sometimes also called "discuss both sides" essays.

  20. Analysing a Band 9 Sample Answer for IELTS Writing Task 2

    Sample Band 9 Answer. Here's my answer to the above question: As an increasing number of people go to university, it is now common that graduates cannot find employment. This is a worrying situation, but there are some solutions to it. The current problem of graduate unemployment is largely caused by there being too many graduates.

  21. IELTS Band 9 Essays Sample: Writing Task Answers To Score Band 9

    In this comprehensive guide, we'll delve into IELTS essay samples and provide you with top-notch writing task answers that will help you achieve that coveted Band 9 score. Whether you're a seasoned test-taker or a newbie, these insights and examples will boost your confidence and enhance your IELTS writing skills.

  22. IELTS Report Samples of Band 9

    Last updated: September 15, 2022. Here you can find IELTS Report samples (Academic Writing Task 1) of Band 9, written by a native English speaker and a former IELTS examiner. Robert Nicholson is the co-author of 'High Scorer's Choice' IELTS Practice Tests book series, created in collaboration with Simone Braverman, the founder of this website.