Good Manners Essay for Students and Children

500+ words essay on good manners.

Since our childhood, we were always taught good manners . Our parents always insisted us to enlist good manners. Moreover, they always tried their best to teach us everything to become a good human being . Good manners are important for a person to live in a society. Furthermore, if a person wants to be liked by everyone then he must know how to behave. The difference between an educated person and an illiterate person is not of knowledge. But the way he speaks and acts. So the presence of good manners can make a person gentleman. Yet if a person is lacking it then even the most educated person will not be a good man.

essay good manners for class 6

Good manners hold great importance in a persons’ life. In order to become successful in life, one should always take care of how he interacts. Various businessman and successful people are achieving heights. This is because of their good manners and skills. If a boss does not speak properly with his employees then they will leave the job. Therefore good manners are essential in any field of life.

Our parents have always taught us to respect our elders . Because if we won’t respect our elders then our Youngers will not respect us. Respect also comes in good manners. Respect is one of the most essential needs of a person. Moreover, many people work really hard to earn respect. Since I was a child I have always heard from my parents that respect is the utmost thing you should aim for. Therefore everyone deserves respect in life.

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Division of Good manners can be done under two categories:-

Good Manners at School

In-School, a child should respect his teachers and seniors. Furthermore, he should listen to what the teacher is saying because they are his mentors. Moreover, the child should be well dressed and hygienic.

Furthermore, a child should always carry a handkerchief, in order to maintain hygiene . The child should always be punctual. So that he may not waste others time. Also, you should never take others’ things without permission. Since there are many children studying in the school, you should not push each other while standing in a queue.

Good Manners at Home

Most importantly, you should respect your parents at home. Always wish them “GOOD MORNING” and “GOOD NIGHT” at the beginning and end of the day. Moreover, you should brush your teeth and take a bath daily. So, you may maintain proper hygiene.

Wash hands before eating your meal, chew your food well and eat with mouth closed. Also, you should take permission from parents before going out of the house Above all, you make use of the words ‘Thank you’ and ‘Please’ in your speech.

Good manners at work for elders. You should respect your Co-workers. Also, you should try to complete yours on time. Furthermore, you should be punctual in the office. Do not gossip while working and do not distract others.

Moreover, you should not interfere in others’ work. Consider your junior employees and help them if they have any problem. At last, do not fall into corruption and do your work with honesty and diligence.

FAQs on the Good Manners

Q1.Why is the importance of good manners?

A1. In order to live in a society, one should have good manners. This maintains a peaceful environment and people will like you as a human being.

Q2.How can we enlist good manners in us?

A2. We can enlist good manners by reading books and learning from it. Moreover, you can also join personality development classes. They teach all the good manners and make you a better person.

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  • English Essay for Students – Importance of good manners

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Essay on Importance of Good Manners

How a person behaves towards the other can be termed ‘manner’. Manners play an important part in everyone’s life. Someone’s manners can tell us so many things about that person, like their background, their education etc. But ‘Manner’ is a general term, that is to say, it does not necessarily mean that manners are always good, though they always should be good, if not cultivated properly they can be bad, which is generally termed as ‘bad – Manners’. And therefore, manners, that is to say, ‘Good Manners’ are cultivated in every child from childhood.

The learning of manners starts from the home since parents are the first teacher of the child, the parents also become the first to teach manners to the child. But one thing to understand here is that the mind of a human is receptive, and hence we, the human, receive or rather learn and grasp so many things that happen in our surroundings. And this surrounding also up to an extent plays a role in the cultivation of manners in the child.

Hence, good surroundings cultivate good manners and vice-versa.

Afterwards, the parents and the surrounding school and teachers play an important part in teaching good manners to the students. For instance, the students must greet the teacher good morning, or good afternoon (according to the time) whenever the teacher enters the classroom, also the use of phrases such as “may I come in” and “may I go” are taught to be used in the school. And these phrases remain with the students for the rest of their life.

Understanding Good Manners

The one thing to understand here is that good manners are not formalities, neither are they social protocol or the rules, which one has to follow to avoid the fine. But it is something that comes from the inside most naturally and by itself, it is something that should not be forced or faked. The way in which we want others to behave with us is also how they want us to behave to them, it can be the simplest way to understand good manners.

People with good manners are liked by everyone, while on the other hand, those who do not possess good manners are more often than not despised by others. It does not matter how wealthy one is, how well educated one is, or how great marks one managed to score, if the person does not possess good manners people are not going to admire him. But if the person knows how to act and behave with others, then everyone likes that person. Also, good manners turn into good nature, and a person who has a good nature is liked by everyone.

Writing an Essay on the Importance of Good Manners

As discussed, good manners are important in life, writing about the same helps it in a better manner. And hence students are required to write an essay on the importance of good manners. Because for writing an essay students have to think about it, and therefore it also in a way allows the students to check their manners.

But one thing is also important which is, essay writing should be good, and hence Vedantu provides the essay on the “importance of good manners” for free to guide the students in writing the same.

From our childhood, good manners have been cultivated as a major part of every being's life. Being a human it plays an important role in every one day to day life. Our parents nurtured us since our childhood with good mannerism, good behavior and discipline. These three features are a vital part of good manners. Manners either its bad or good can't be imposed to the child, some basically inherited from their parents and other social mannerism etiquettes will be taught by parents itself at home first, since a home is the first school of any child to start its learning process where parents both mother and father plays an important role in developing good social etiquette or good manners to enhance the child’s upbringing in a good shape. 

Good manners has its own definition. If a person needs to be liked by someone then he or she needs to act like a good person with good behavior or manners. No matter what level of studies you did, either highly qualified or simply 10th passed out doesn’t make a difference if a person knows how to act or behave in front of others. 

Respect and courtesy are the major assets in developing good manners. One should be polite and courteous to others, even while communicating we need to be kind, calm and patient enough to listen to others, which means he or she should be a good listener. These qualities even makes life problems more simple and makes the person think more broadly.   

Types of Good Manners:  

Here are some specific mentioned good manners which helps a person in enhancing

Speak politely to others

Say thank you always wherever needed in conversation.

Open doors for others.

 Maintain eye contact while shaking hands. 

Stand up while elders enter the room. 

Polite phone manners.

Serve people when any guest enters your home. 

Highlights of Good Manners

Good manners can differentiate between in two aspects that is one in school and other at-home itself.

At Home: Home is the first place where child traits develop from, the parent is the first teacher who makes them (child) understand the differences between good and bad manners. Keeping in mind future aspects, a child needs to develop traits as polite, calm, and patient. Since childhood, we have taught of maintaining hygiene habit after having lunch or dinner, while eating or drinking not to make bad sound, say THANKYOU and SORRY are the important words to use while making in conversation, keeping own belonging in exact place after taking out from the place, brushing off teeth and bath daily, do not disturb others while working something important task, always take permission for picking up thing while visiting any neighbor place, always mention PLEASE word for requesting or asking for something and so on.

There are various add on traits which give support in child mannerism to act as disciplined and good nature human beings. These are basic traits and habits which a child develops from childhood by learning and observing the parents. 

At School: School manners consist of some different patterns of ethics that need to be followed by the child. Respecting teachers is the most important quality of good manners, here (School) environment also develops hygiene habits as such maintain a distance of put hands while sneezing or coughing, to carry a handkerchief, washing off hands after having lunch, always asks permission to the teacher for going to washrooms, daily completion of homework, maintain focus in class, talk politely to classmates and obey class monitor or teachers instructions, not to push children while standing in a queue. These are some major qualities that help children in enhancing good manners in all aspects.

Good Manners vs Discipline

There is a thin line between these two words which makes a big difference, generally, we cannot identify these differences. Good manners is completely associated with a  person's act or behavior such as politeness, patience, good listener, courtesy, helping nature and so on are some of the traits that signify good manners. Whereas Discipline describes a person's own set of rules and standards which he/ she follows throughout their life for example if a person is a smoker but here his discipline says not to smoke in front of parents or any elders this follows as same by any means. 

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FAQs on English Essay for Students – Importance of good manners

1. What is Good Manners? 

Good manners are expressed by our behavior and implemented on others. Being polite and courteous is good manners. The cultured and well-mannered person was always demanded in the society and appreciated by all. And the person who doesn’t know how to behave and act to others will not be liked by anyone and he or she loses its respect. This quality (good manners) has been developed since childhood to take firm roots. 

2. What are the Advantages of Good Manners? 

Good manners make a person civilized to live in society, it maintains peaceful relations among people and builds up social relations between person to person.

3. What Types of Good Manners Child Learns in School? 

To say PLEASE

Say EXCUSE ME

Always keep a good smile on your face while talking. 

Maintain eye contact while asking any question to the teacher 

Shows respect to others.

Always encourage classmates in any difficult task performance. 

Helping classmates. 

Building up communication with others and classmates as well. 

 4. What are the basic behaviors which are regarded as good manners?

There is much such behavior, below given are some of them.

Greeting others good night, good day, good morning etc, according to the time.

Thanking others when someone helps us.

Saying phrases like “you are most welcome” or “mention not” when someone thanks us after receiving our help.

Serving the guests at home.

Maintaining eye contact when someone is talking with us.

Behaving politely and respectfully on the phone.

Always be polite and humble to others.

The list is endless, but the first and foremost thing is that it has to come from the inside by itself.

5. Why should I use the essay on “the importance of good manners” that Vedantu provides?

Vedantu believes in delivering top-quality content to all the students and to fulfill this promise the team of expert teachers at Vedantu works very hard to provide the students with the best material. And the same goes for the essay on the importance of good manners. Also, this essay is written in such a manner that it exactly matches the level of students, the sentence formation, the vocabulary use, everything is chosen by considering the level of students. Last but not least, it is available for a free of cost download.

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Essay on Good Manners in English for Students

essay good manners for class 6

Table of Contents

Essay on Good Manners in English: Good manners are very necessary to have for a person in order to live a happy, disciplined and peaceful life as well as get success in any field. Teachers generally assign their students to write something (paragraph, short essay or long essay) on good manners in the classroom during class tests or exam. It is a nice topic which can help students to be aware of all the good manners as well as encourage them to inculcate such manners.

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Long and Short Essay on Good Manners in English

So, we have provided here various paragraphs, short essays and long essays on good manners under different word limits. You can select any of the good manners paragraph or good manners essay according to your need and requirement.

Good Manners Essay 100 words

Good manner means having polite or well-bred social behavior by the people. Having good manners in life matters a lot for living a social life. It should be inculcated especially in children from childhood. Behaving in well or bad manner is the most important part of the human nature and life. Good manners help us in getting respect and dignity in the society whereas bad manners defame us. Good manners help us to develop good habits which improve the physical, mental, spiritual and social well-being (thus overall development of the society) of person. A well behaving man, having all the good manners, is becomes the important citizen in the society as he never hurts the feelings of others.

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Good Manners Essay 150 words

Good manner is the well behaving manner of the person which adds good impression on others as well as gives good feeling and confidence about oneself. Practicing good manners is very important for all of us and it is good if we do it from childhood with the help of parents and guardians. We must follow all the good manners whether we are at home, school, college, office, tourist places, or with friends.

Good manners are more than opening doors and writing thank you notes. Being polite and courteous to others shows our real behavior, thinking and mind level. It attracts people’s mind and attention if they get respect from us. Being a well behaved person, we set a standard for others too which encourage them to practice good manner and behave well. It is not easy to follow all the good manners for everyone however can be easily followed after practicing well.

Good Manners Essay 200 words

Man is considered as the most intelligent creation of God on the earth as he lives in the society as well as he has capacity to think, talk and act accordingly. So, he must know how to behave well and practice good manners to behave well with others in the society. Parents must teach their kids how should they behave with family members, neighbors, teachers, etc., and respect the views of others. Being a well behaved person, one must be polite, gentle, disciplined, and sweet. Some people behave well with sweet words only in front but behind they talk bad, that is not the good manner.

Good manners help a person to show the same character; both, in front and behind of people. The words and behavior of a good mannered person never changes and remain same in all conditions. Well mannered people know well that how to show or explain the bitter truth with sweet words. People, who lack good manners generally, have sharp and clever tongue. Bad people always behave roughly and abuse others without any reason. They never hesitate to behave badly in the society. They show that they lack a good culture, society and discipline, thus they hated everywhere. And good mannered people are honored everywhere.

Good Manners Essay 250 words

Good manner can be defined as behaving well with courtesy and politeness to show correct public behaviour to the people living in society. Some of the good manners are like polite, courteous, humble, respectful and well-cultured social behavior found in some people. Any of the men or women is distinguished and recognized in the society by his/her good manners. A person is known in the society not only for his intelligence but also for his behavior and manners.

Importance of Good Manners in our Life

Good manners are very important in our daily and every parent must teach their children the good manners and importance of them in life. Good manners are required to create an effective interaction with friends as well as make a good impression on them. It helps us to remain positive throughout the day. We must use the magic words like “sorry”, “please”, “thank you”, “excuse me”, etc whenever required without getting late in order to maintain a happy relationship. Parents must help their kids to essentially practice such words to behave well in everyday life. These words show the feeling of sorry, happy, appreciation and respect to the people.

Good manner open the door to new conversation with people and opportunities in life. If someone talks to you with rudeness, don’t talk him in his way, just talk him in your way of behaving well as rudeness creates rudeness.

Practicing good manners is necessary to be a great and noble personality in the society. It maintains the positivity in our soul and mind. Our good behavior shows our ideal force of character. We should show respect and reverence to people to create positive interaction.

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Good Manners Essay 300 words

Good manners are very necessary in life as they help us to behave well in the society with people as well as help us to maintain smooth, easy and positive relationship. Help us to win the heart of people in the crowd and give us a unique personality. Good manner makes us person of pleasing and obeying nature which is genuinely loved and appreciated by all in the society.

What are Good Manners?

A person with good manners shows respects towards feelings and sentiments of people living around. He/she never differentiates people and shows equal regard and kindness to everyone whether elder or younger than him. Modesty and courtesy are the essential traits of a well behaving person. He/she never feel proud or arrogant and always take care of the feelings of other people. Practicing good manners and following them all through the day bring sunshine and add qualities to the life. He/she always becomes mentally happy as good manners enrich his/her personality.

Teaching good manners to all the students is a boon to them and country from parents and teachers as they are the bright future. Lack of good manners among youths of the country lead them at the wrong path. Practicing good manners cost nothing but pay us a lot all through the life. Some of the good manners are like:

  • Thank you: we must say thank you whenever we receive anything from someone.
  • Please: we must say please while requesting for something to others.
  • We should always support people who are in pain.
  • should always accept the mistakes and say sorry without hesitation.
  • We should be disciplined and punctual in daily life.
  • should always compliment others for their good behaviour and qualities.
  • We must listen to people very attentively who are talking to us.
  • should take permission before touching or using the things of someone else.
  • We should always respond with a smile to other’s questions.
  • should never interrupt between the meetings of elders and must wait for our turn.
  • We must be respectful to the elders (whether in family, relationship or neighbors), parents and teachers.
  • Excuse me: we must say excuse me while getting attention for something.
  • We must knock the door before entering to other’s home or bedroom.

Good manners are vital to us for getting popularity and success in life as nobody likes a mischief person. Good manners are like tonic to the people living in society as practicing them take nothing but benefits a lot whole life. People with polite and pleasant nature always asked by the large number of people as they put magnetic influence over them. Thus, we must practice and follow good manners.

Good Manners Essay 400 words

Good manner is very significant to the people living in society. People can benefited from the good manners in many ways at home, school, office or other places. People with good manners must have courtesy, politeness and respect to others and themselves too. Good manner is all which we behave well with others with humble respect. Bad behaviour never gives happy feelings to self and others. Just think that how sad and disrespected we will feel when someone is talking to our friend and turning his back to us.

Good mannered people are always liked and get respect and fame in the society as they behave well in same manner with all (good or bad). They consider the feelings of other people and always become kind. Teachers teach the lesson of good manners to their students in the classroom and instruct them to follow all that at all places forever. Parents also should help their kids at home to learn good manners properly as what kids learn in their childhood carry all through the life. We must first behave to others like what we wish in return from others. According to the Golden Rule “We should treat people the way we would like other people to treat us”. If we treat people with respect, we too will treated in the same way by them.

Following good manners everywhere we go, we can better encourage people to behave well in the same manner to everyone. Some of the important good manners we can practice in our daily life are like:

  • We must learn the habit of sharing (but not grabbing) things to others.
  • should be helpful, polite and humble to others at all places.
  • We must use ‘sorry’, ‘please’, ‘thank you’, ‘excuse me’ and ‘time wish’ whenever required.
  • must respect the property of others and always take permission before using.
  • We must help our family members in completing their chores.
  • must be responsible and self dependent for everything whether at home or outside the home.
  • We must behave well with humble respect to our teachers, parents, other elders and senior citizens.
  • should not interfere between elder’s talk and must wait for our turn.
  • We should hold the door open when someone is coming in and must hold his/her load if he/she is carrying something.
  • should maintain cleanliness at home, school, and all other public places.
  • We should not use offensive language to others at home or public place.
  • must leave the seat for senior citizens while using public transport.
  • We should never make fun of anyone as everyone has feelings and respect.
  • should not use mobile phone unnecessarily while being in group or public place.
  • We should chew food properly and don’t talk to anyone while eating.

Following good manners not only increase the respect in people’s mind but also make us pleasant from inside. It creates the good impression in society, school, sports team, friends group and family. Life becomes much more pleasant day by day. Practicing good manners take nothing but give much more all through the life. We must practice good manners as well as encourage others to practice for the welfare of oneself, family, society and nation.

FAQs on Good Manners

What is good manners?

Good manner can be defined as behaving well with courtesy and politeness to show correct public behaviour to the people living in society.

Write good manners essay.

Write short paragraph on good manners..

Good manners help us in getting respect and dignity in the society whereas bad manners defame us. Good manners help us to develop good habits which improve the physical, mental, spiritual and social well-being (thus overall development of the society) of person.

Why is good manners important for children?

Good manners are very important in our daily and every parent must teach their children the good manners and importance of them in life.

How to show good manners?

There are different ways to show good manners, but some basic ones include: Saying please and thank you. Listening when others are speaking. Respecting personal space. Being considerate of others

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150+ Words Essay on Good Manners in English for Class 5,6,7,8,9 and 10

Good manners.

Introduction

Good manners are an important part of our civilization. We know a man by his manners. Manners are important for our conduct in society.

Therefore, we place a lot of emphasis on learning manners. Parents want to teach manners to their children. Teachers want to teach manners to their students.

Guru wants to teach manners to his disciples. Because manners are very important to us.

Etiquette is very helpful. Manners make us gentlemen. We are called gentlemen only when we behave well. Good manners make friends for us. because people like to be friends With people of good manners. Good manners can make our enemies our friends. But bad behavior will definitely make our friends our enemies. That’s why we have to be very particular about our manners.

Basic Principles of Good Manners

There are some fundamental principles on which all our manners should be based. They are like this. We should not hurt the mind of others. We should not hurt the feelings of others.

We should avoid arrogance, pride, emotion, anger and harshness of voice when we deal with others. We should always be direct and sweet. We must listen patiently to others. We should speak less about ourselves. Our attitude should be sympathetic.

We must learn to appreciate. other. We should observe forms of behavior such as ‘please’, ‘kindly’, ‘thank you’, ‘sorry’, ‘no, thank you’, etc., when they are due. We should respect our elders and superiors. We should be loving and kind to our youth.

We must be honest in our approach. We should not make false promises. We should never cheat. We should be clean. These are some of the basic principles on which all our manners and behavior should rest.

Etiquette at Home

We must obey our parents and elders: we must take care of the elderly and the weak. We should be loving and kind to our youth. etiquette in school

In school we should behave kindly towards our fellow students. We should help the weak in their studies. We should respect our teachers. We should wish our teachers all the best in the first meeting in a day. We should do good work in the subject of our study.

Because not being honest about any subject is disrespect to the subject-teacher. We should not criticize our teachers. We should maintain proper discipline in the school. etiquette at a general meeting

We should behave properly when we are in a meeting. We must obey the chairman of the meeting. We should not disturb or interrupt when someone is speaking. we shouldn’t talk inside when we are in a meeting.

Interview Etiquette

Sometimes we have to appear in an interview to get the job. There we have to be very particular about our ways. We should not go in front of them until we are called. We should sit on the waiting bench till they call us.

We should not ask them to call us. We will allow them to call us at their convenience. When we are on the waiting bench, we must maintain proper discipline and silence. We will go before them as soon as we are called.

There we will wish them. We will not sit until we are asked to sit. We should always pay attention to what they ask and say. We should not look around like monkeys.

We will answer them in a gentle voice. We will answer as much as they want. We should not move our legs, arms and heads. We should not lay our hands on their tables. We should not stand so close to them. We must be very clean.

Good manners are very important for us. Therefore, students should try to follow good manners everywhere. Teachers should guide them in this regard.

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EssayBanyan.com – Collections of Essay for Students of all Class in English

Essay on Good Manners

Living in society requires respect. A respectful person is happy, strong, confident, and blessed. But how do we earn respect? Can respect be bought in shops with money? Or can we gain it by haunting others? Does intelligence alone help us in owning respect? All these questions have only one answer, and that is No. The only method to get respected is through good manners. No matter whether you are rich, intelligent, or educated, good manner is the only way that helps us to earn respect in society. Therefore, to highlight the importance of good manners, today we will discuss it in detail. 

Short and Long Good Manners Essay in English

Here, we are presenting Short and Long essays on Good Manners in English for students under word limits of 100 – 150 Words, 200 – 250, words, and 500 – 600 words. This topic is useful for students of classes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, and 12 in English. These provided essays on Good Manners will help you to write effective essays, paragraphs, and speeches on this topic.

Good Manners Essay 10 Lines (100 – 150 Words)

1) Good manners represent how we talk and act to others.

2) Manners basically show what kind of person someone is.

3) Good manners are what make a man look like a gentleman.

4) Good manners are important in every part of life from personal to professional.

5) The first thing kids learn in life is good manners.

6) People need to learn good manners in order to live in a society respectfully.

7) A person with good manners is liked by everyone.

8) Parents teach good manners to their kids at an early age.

9) Using words like excuse me, thank you, sorry, please, etc are good manners.

10) Good manners are necessary to achieve great heights in life.

Short Essay on Good Manners (250 – 300 Words)

Introduction

Good manners are not something we are born with; we have to learn them. Everyone and everything can teach us good manners. Parents are the first and foremost people who teach good manners. “Sorry”, “Thank you”, “Please”, etc words reflect good manners. If the child learns good manners right from a young age, it will be easier for him to deal with all the situations of life as he gets older.

Benefits of Good Manners

Good manners are essential in every field of life. It will help us to build a trustworthy image in the eyes of others. It will help you give the world a good impression of yourself. A person’s manners show what kind of person you are. Before we say anything, people get to know us through our manners. From earning respect to popularity, everything is possible with good manners.

Good Manners: The Step to Success

Having good manners is the first step to getting ahead in life. To be successful and achieve your goals in life, you need to have good manners. Good manners will not only make things better around us, but they will also make things better for us in the long run. Also, good manners lead to good habits, and good habits lead to growth and success.

A man without good manners is like a wallet without money, which looks nice on the outside but empty on the inside. Having good manners can help us in many ways. Therefore, we should always act good to others and follow good manners in life.

Long Essay on Good Manners (500 Words)

We know that parents are our first teachers. They teach us everything from the first word to the first step. Another important thing that they teach us is good manners. A person can be a gentleman if they have good manners. There are no places where people can go to learn good manners. It is mostly something that people learn on their own as they grow up by watching others and utilizing childhood learning. Having good manners help us to make a good impression that lasts forever. It helps us get where we want to go in our lives.

What are Good Manners?

Good manners are how we act around other people. Every situation needs a different set of rules, and it’s very important to get fit in the right way. In other words, good manners are a set of rules for how to behave in a way that is polite, socially acceptable, and liked by everyone. Good manners teach a man what to do or say in different situations.

Some good manners are listed below:

  • One should respect everyone whether they are younger or older.
  • Always help everyone by saying may I help you.
  • One must be ready to apologize for their mistakes by saying sorry.
  • Always show gratitude to others by saying thank you.
  • Do not disturb others and ask excuse me to talk.
  • Always seek permission while entering someone’s room.

Importance of Good Manners in Personal Life

Manners are a very important part of a person’s life. Having good manners helps a person get ahead in life and do well. These actions and words will also make our minds and hearts feel good. Manners help keep things in order and on the right track. Our manners reflect our personality and character which can help to establish a good impression on others. Good manners are the basis for making new friends and strengthening existing ones. It also makes you feel good about yourself and gives you confidence.

Importance of Good Manners in Social Life

People need to have good manners in order to live in a society. This keeps the environment calm, and people will like you as a person. To fit in with other people, you need to have good manners. A student with good manners treats others with respect and kindness and cares about them. Even the teachers like and love them. Also, you should always be on time for work. People like those who treat others right and talk to them nicely more than those who compare themselves to others.

Everyone knows the importance of good manners. It is good for both the individual and the country as a whole. Therefore, keeping in mind how important and helpful good manners are, everyone should try to make them a part of their everyday lives. Everyone loves people who are polite. However, they are more likely to do well in their personal and professional lives.

I hope the above provided essay on Good Manners will be helpful in understanding the role of good manners in our life.

FAQs: Frequently Asked Questions on Good Manners

Ans. Good manners are taught by parents, teachers, and elders. One can learn good manners by observing people around and learning good habits from around.

Ans. A person without manners is called an ill-manner, rude, uncivilized, etc.

Ans. In public, one should speak politely to everyone, not point to anyone or anything, not disturb others, don’t make noise, etc.

Ans. Respect, consideration, and honesty are the three major pillars of good manners.  

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10 Lines on Good Manners

Good manners can be described as behaviour of a person with other people, with courtesy and politeness. Good manners transform a human being into a civilized human being. Good manners define a behavioural pattern which is socially accounted and acceptable as well as respected. Teaching good manners to the children is a process which is nearly associated with the overall development of their personality.

Child first learns manners at home through his elders, he sees them while they are present in the home, from the instructions and examples which we give to him, a basic understanding is developed in his mind that how should I behave and interact with others.

Ten Lines on Good Manners in English

We are giving 10 lines, 5 lines, 20 lines, few lines and sentences on good manners in English for Class 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6. After going through these lines, you will be able to understand about need for having good manners. It will also help you in writing your essay and paragraph in exam or in any competition.

1) Good manners tell us how we must behave with others in a respectful and a polite way.

2) It includes our thinking, behaviour, gesture and way of talking with others.

3) It converts a normal human being into a civilized well-being or a nobleman.

4) Good manners are inculcated in the children at a very young age.

5) While teaching good manners to children, always quote examples, as examples are the best way to make them learn.

6) Always stand and greet when someone comes to your home and at the time when he leaves.

7) Always ask “May I” before taking something from someone and always reply with “Please” if someone asks to take something from you.

8) When someone offers something to you, in order to greet him reply with “Thank You”.

9) When a child wants to say something, before that say “Excuse Me”, never interrupt two persons while they are talking.

10) Don’t try to impose your opinion on others, respect their opinion and listen to them also.

10 Lines and Sentences on Good Manners

1) Before entering into somebody’s room always knock the door as it is also considered a good manner.

2) When you have done some mistake; then always say “Sorry” to apologize to others.

3) Look for any kind of opportunity or occasion to compliment others; it helps you in having healthy relationships.

4) Always share your things with others, this shows how caring you are for others.

5) There is a general perception to ‘give respect and take respect’ i.e. treat others in that manner so that you get the same treatment from others.

6) Having food together with your family is a good manner, as some table manners are related with this and by doing so a child will learn those manners.

7) Shake hands and say “Hello” to others or “Namaste” to the elders whenever you meet them.

8) While talking to others don’t be harsh, be calm and polite with them and always talk good.

9) If you want to go out, ask your parents for permission and if they allow you to go then only you proceed, it also applies with your teachers in school.

10) You must try to be obedient and always follow what your parents are asking you to do.

10 Lines on Good Manners

5 Sentences on Good Manners

1) It means behaving properly.

2) Children should be taught good manners.

3) People respect a person with good manners.

4) Good manners make us good humans.

5) We should learn good manners from elders.

20 Lines on Good Manners

1) Good manners refer to how you make others feel good, loved and respected.

2) Saying please, thank you, you first, sorry and good morning are some of the good manners.

3) Any person acting in a socially acceptable way is known to possess good manners.

4) Giving up your bus seat to the elderly is a kind of good manner.

5) Holding/opening the door for someone in restaurant/office/school is also a good manner.

6) Listening politely and speaking only when the other person is finished, is a good manner.

7) Different situations demand different types of good manners as per the situation.

8) Not talking loudly and always talking in polite voice is a good manner.

9) Helping others in need, like helping a blind man to cross the road is a good manner.

10) Never bullying, making fun or harassing anyone is a good manner.

11) Good manners are very essential qualities for a person to be socially acceptable.

2) Good manners make a person to be loved and respected by friends, family and others.

13) We must practice good manners everyday so that they become a habit.

14) Good manners make you more popular and acceptable by an individual or the society.

15) Never interrupting a conversation between two people is a good manner.

16) Always saying sorry when you have unknowingly harmed or hurt them, is also a good manner.

17) Thanking God before taking food is a good table manner.

18) Waiting for everyone to be served the meal, before start eating, is also a good table manner.

19) Eating with your lips closed and always passing on food to others is a good table manner.

20) Good manners are like your gateway to the society and social recognition.

By adopting good manners, one can bring a change in his personality and will attract others also. Having good manners helps you to make friends and brighten the atmosphere. Good manners give you success in your life as they are more important to be successful because people will soon forget how successful you are, but will remember how you behaved with them.

Essay on Good Manners

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How To Write An Essay On Good Manners For Classes 1, 2 & 3 Children

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Key Points To Remember When Writing An Essay On Good Manners For Lower Primary Classes

10-line essay on good manners for kids, a paragraph on good manners, short essay for children on good manners in english, long essay on importance of good manners for kids, what will your 1st, 2nd or 3rd grader learn from an essay on good manners.

Good manners have a very important role in a child’s nurturing. When your child writes an essay on good manners for classes 1, 2 and 3, they start learning courteousness from a very early age. They understand the importance of behaving well from their early years. Essay writing is very important for the development of children. When they write essays, it improves their thought process and develops their creative writing skills. Essay writing also lays the foundation for English grammar as your child expresses their ideas in simple structured sentences. The act of writing also develops your little one’s fine motor skills.

There are a few essential points that your child needs to remember while writing an essay. Let us show your child simple steps to write an essay on good manners.

  • The first step is to ask your child to structure the ideas (in the head) they want to write about good manners.
  • In the second step, let your child note down the ideas to form an outline to cover all the points while composing the essay.
  • They will form easy-to-read short and simple sentences from the pointers in the third step.
  • Encourage your child not to get too deep describing any single idea, and maintain the word count.
  • Help your child write with the rhythm, making them cherish writing the essay.
  • Your child can write about the importance of good manners, how being courteous helps build one’s character, etc.

Good manners play a very important role in moulding a person’s character. Let us help your child write an amazing essay for class 1 and class 2 on good manners.

  • Good manners are a very important value for us to learn.
  • Good manners mould our character.
  • It is important for us to start practising good manners from a very early age.
  • We may be extremely charming and successful, but it is pointless if we are not well-mannered.
  • Good habits and politeness make us good people.
  • It is always nice to be humble, gentle, and courteous as a person.
  • When we are courteous, we honour others without selfishness or greed.
  • We learn good manners from our parents at home, and then from our teachers at school.
  • Good manners imply behaving well with everyone, irrespective of their age or other differences.
  • A well-mannered person spreads positivity and makes the world a better place to live.

Good manners lay the foundation of a person. Let us help your little one write a paragraph on good manners.

Good manners are a very important value to learn from an early age. Good manners show the behaviour of a person. However charming a person may be, if they are not well mannered, it is pointless. It is one’s behaviour that people first notice. When a person is polite, they set an atmosphere of positivity around them wherever they go. One’s courtesy defines who the person is.

Good manners mould your little one’s character as they grow up. Let us help your little one write an amazing essay on good manners in 150 words.

Good manners form an extremely important part of our life. They are necessary, and we should learn them from a very early age. Parents teach us good manners at home. When we go to school, our teachers further develop this value. We should always understand the value of respecting everyone. We should respect our elders, those younger than us, and even our pets. We should also handle each thing we use with respect and care. We should learn to value every little thing from an early age. A well-mannered person spreads positivity wherever they go and makes the world a better place. However beautiful one may be, it is pointless if they do not have good manners. Being courteous and mannered is extremely important for us.

Good manners will play a very important role in making your child a good person. Let us help your little one write an amazing essay for class 3 on the significance of being courteous and well-mannered. Let us look at the significance of good manners in this paragraph. 

Good manners are an important value. We should learn manners and courtesies from a very early age. Our parents teach us good manners at home, and our teachers further develop these values at school. When we show good behaviour, we set a good example for our younger siblings and friends too. Being well mannered is not just restricted to saying ‘Thank you, ‘Please’, ‘Sorry’, and ‘Excuse me’. It is way beyond that. We should respect our elders and each and everyone around us. It is important to treat everyone with respect, whether it is someone younger than us, different from us, our pets, or even the things we use. We should also be honest and sincere in our work. It is also very important for us to be polite. Whenever we want to express our opinion, we must be polite and never hurt anyone.

Whenever we see our siblings or friends doing anything good, we should appreciate their actions and give them credit. At the same time, we should take responsibility if anything has gone wrong. It is very important for us to learn not to blame others. 

Small actions can make a big difference. It is good to open doors for someone, help someone carry loads, and stop to help if we see anyone in distress. We should also never interrupt when someone is talking. It is polite to greet someone when we meet them or come across them on the way. 

Good manners will build our character from a young age. We will certainly stand out because of the courtesies we show. However charming or successful we become in life, it is pointless if we are not well-mannered.

Writing an essay on good manners will infuse the value of politeness and courtesy in your children from a very young age. It will encourage children to treat others the way they want to be treated. Writing essays will improve your little one’s creative writing skills and thought process, and it will also develop their vocabulary.

We hope the above examples of essays have a positive impact on building your child’s character. Your little one can compose a beautiful essay on the importance of manners and courtesies using these ideas. We kept the language very simple so that it’s easy for your child to understand.

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Essay on Good Manners for Class 4

Good Manners are acquired by kids undeviatingly from adolescence. Parents try to teach good manners to their kids in a perfect way. Good manners make someone an improved person and are necessary for an individual to reside in society. We’ve compiled some extended, short, and ten lines essays on Good Manners.

We are providing two essay samples for class 4 on the topic ‘Good Manners’ for reference.

Short Essay on Good Manners of 100 Words

Good manners may be learned from everywhere and from everybody. Good manners can be defined as activities or habits that produce a person civilized, mature, sensible, and gentle. We meet hundreds of men and women in our daily lives, and it is vital to behave nicely with them.

A kid needs to understand how to behave with the people around him and behave facing them. In the task field, one must look after how he interacts because communication is the key to achieving milestones. Respecting others also falls underneath the group of good manners. Respect is the most thing you ought to aim for.

Engage your kid into diverse thoughts and motivate them to improve their English with our  Essay for Class 4  and avail the Simple Essays suitable for them.

Long Essay on Good Manners of 150 Words

We study good manners from our childhood, which is a stepping stone to reach success inside our lives. A young child first learns it from their parents and tries to copy their behaviour.

The parents need to behave appropriately before their kids and teach with good manners like brushing teeth twice, greeting people, maintain proper hygiene, and choosing the right way of speaking in front of the elders.

If the little one is taught from childhood comfort, it will be easier for him to process the behaviours as he grows up. They must follow what their teachers say and inquire further to do.

This may help them produce a good impression before others and enhance the connection between classmates. In the job field, one must respect their co-workers, and individuals ranked higher in their minds to keep up an easy workflow and avoid any negative feedback.

10 Lines on Good Manners in English

  • How we must behave with others respectfully and politely is named good manners.
  • It offers our gestures, behavior, way of talking with others, and thinking.
  • It transforms a regular person right into a well-civilized person.
  • Good manners are infused in the children at a very early age.
  • When you’ve got made some mistake, they always need to say “Sorry” to apologize.
  • Always stand and greet when someone visits your property and when they leave. Before entering into somebody’s room, be sure to knock on the door since it can significantly be.
  • Always ask “May I” before taking something that belongs to somebody else and still share things owned by you with others; this project how caring you are.
  • When someone offers something, one must say “Thank You” to respect his offer.
  • When a couple is talking, and somebody else wants to talk in their mind, the individual should say “Excuse Me,” as it’s not just a good manner to interrupt two persons while they’re talking.
  • Do not try and impose your opinion on others, respect other people’s views, and tune in to those as well.

Frequently Asked Questions on Good Manners

Question 1. Are good manners important for an individual?

Answer:  To live in a community, it is very important to have good manners. People who behave correctly, make use of their fellow people, and politely talk in their minds are like a lot more than others.

Question 2. Exactly why is respecting others so important? 

Answer:  We must bear in mind that we must first learn to respect others when we desire to be respected. Respect helps in building bonds of trust and safety.

Question 3. Are manners important? 

Answer:  Having proper etiquette is essential in every facet of life if you want others to respect you.

Question 4: Can manners affect success in life? 

Answer:  Using good manners in life can have a good influence on you. When people admire you because of your good behavior, they gift you high self-esteem and self-confidence, which are both key factors for a successful and hopeful life.

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Importance of Good Manners Essay

Manners are something we use every day to make a good impression on others and to feel good about ourselves. Practising good manners is important no matter where we are – at home, work, or with friends. Good manners are ways of treating people so that people feel better about themselves and about each other. Good manners cost us nothing but may win almost everything. If we show good manners to others, then we are more likely to encourage others to behave in the same way towards us. This ‘Importance of Good Manners Essay’ will help students to build good manners in their behaviour.

Students can also go through the list of CBSE Essays on different topics. It will help them to improve their writing skills and also help them to take part in different essay writing competitions conducted at the school level.

500+ Words Importance of Good Manners Essay

Good manners create respect, loyalty and gratitude in society. It attributes to a good social structure. Being well-mannered means acknowledging people each time we meet them. Good manners are a sure key to success. They help in making friends, winning over people and obtaining appreciation and admiration. Following the rules of the road, respecting the queues, helping the weak and old people, and saying ‘thank you’, ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘excuse me’ are a few examples of exhibiting good manners. When we give someone else our seat on a crowded bus, when we hold the door open for another person to walk through, when we wait for our turn, when we walk on the right-hand side of the mall or sidewalk, when we knock before opening the closed door of a room – all of these are also examples of good manners.

Good Manners at School

Childhood is the best period for learning and imbibing good manners. It is in the early formative years that good conduct, behaviour and manners are nurtured and developed. Good manners are learnt early in life. A child born in a cultured family will learn to be respectful to others because he will see his elders behaving gently.

In school, while interacting with teachers, children should listen attentively, raise their hands before speaking during lessons, make eye contact, and be polite when talking. Kids should also treat their peers well by listening when they speak and respecting their personal space. Respecting the classroom is another way to practise good manners. Even when children are playing outside, they can still keep manners in mind. Encourage children to invite another child, who is playing alone, to join the group game or activity.

Social Implications of Good Manners

Good manners are very necessary for progress in life. They help a person to win the favour and confidence of others. They are a sure passport to success in life. An ill-mannered person, on the other hand, is disliked by everyone and has no chance of success in any walk of life. They may be wealthy, great warriors, or intellectuals, but without manners, they can hardly win the respect of others. Good manners endear people to each other. Practising good manners on a daily basis makes life more pleasant.

The norms of human behaviour change in our fast-changing social life, but the status of ‘good manners’ remains constant. Good manners are closely linked to moral values. Basic manners are good to use everywhere, and that care and attention to manners should start at home, among all family members.

Students must have found the “Importance of Good Manners” essay useful for improving their essay-writing skills. They can get the study material and the latest update on CBSE/ICSE/State Board/Competitive Exams at BYJU’S.

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  • The Case for Marrying an Older Man

A woman’s life is all work and little rest. An age gap relationship can help.

essay good manners for class 6

In the summer, in the south of France, my husband and I like to play, rather badly, the lottery. We take long, scorching walks to the village — gratuitous beauty, gratuitous heat — kicking up dust and languid debates over how we’d spend such an influx. I purchase scratch-offs, jackpot tickets, scraping the former with euro coins in restaurants too fine for that. I never cash them in, nor do I check the winning numbers. For I already won something like the lotto, with its gifts and its curses, when he married me.

He is ten years older than I am. I chose him on purpose, not by chance. As far as life decisions go, on balance, I recommend it.

When I was 20 and a junior at Harvard College, a series of great ironies began to mock me. I could study all I wanted, prove myself as exceptional as I liked, and still my fiercest advantage remained so universal it deflated my other plans. My youth. The newness of my face and body. Compellingly effortless; cruelly fleeting. I shared it with the average, idle young woman shrugging down the street. The thought, when it descended on me, jolted my perspective, the way a falling leaf can make you look up: I could diligently craft an ideal existence, over years and years of sleepless nights and industry. Or I could just marry it early.

So naturally I began to lug a heavy suitcase of books each Saturday to the Harvard Business School to work on my Nabokov paper. In one cavernous, well-appointed room sat approximately 50 of the planet’s most suitable bachelors. I had high breasts, most of my eggs, plausible deniability when it came to purity, a flush ponytail, a pep in my step that had yet to run out. Apologies to Progress, but older men still desired those things.

I could not understand why my female classmates did not join me, given their intelligence. Each time I reconsidered the project, it struck me as more reasonable. Why ignore our youth when it amounted to a superpower? Why assume the burdens of womanhood, its too-quick-to-vanish upper hand, but not its brief benefits at least? Perhaps it came easier to avoid the topic wholesale than to accept that women really do have a tragically short window of power, and reason enough to take advantage of that fact while they can. As for me, I liked history, Victorian novels, knew of imminent female pitfalls from all the books I’d read: vampiric boyfriends; labor, at the office and in the hospital, expected simultaneously; a decline in status as we aged, like a looming eclipse. I’d have disliked being called calculating, but I had, like all women, a calculator in my head. I thought it silly to ignore its answers when they pointed to an unfairness for which we really ought to have been preparing.

I was competitive by nature, an English-literature student with all the corresponding major ambitions and minor prospects (Great American novel; email job). A little Bovarist , frantic for new places and ideas; to travel here, to travel there, to be in the room where things happened. I resented the callow boys in my class, who lusted after a particular, socially sanctioned type on campus: thin and sexless, emotionally detached and socially connected, the opposite of me. Restless one Saturday night, I slipped on a red dress and snuck into a graduate-school event, coiling an HDMI cord around my wrist as proof of some technical duty. I danced. I drank for free, until one of the organizers asked me to leave. I called and climbed into an Uber. Then I promptly climbed out of it. For there he was, emerging from the revolving doors. Brown eyes, curved lips, immaculate jacket. I went to him, asked him for a cigarette. A date, days later. A second one, where I discovered he was a person, potentially my favorite kind: funny, clear-eyed, brilliant, on intimate terms with the universe.

I used to love men like men love women — that is, not very well, and with a hunger driven only by my own inadequacies. Not him. In those early days, I spoke fondly of my family, stocked the fridge with his favorite pasta, folded his clothes more neatly than I ever have since. I wrote his mother a thank-you note for hosting me in his native France, something befitting a daughter-in-law. It worked; I meant it. After graduation and my fellowship at Oxford, I stayed in Europe for his career and married him at 23.

Of course I just fell in love. Romances have a setting; I had only intervened to place myself well. Mainly, I spotted the precise trouble of being a woman ahead of time, tried to surf it instead of letting it drown me on principle. I had grown bored of discussions of fair and unfair, equal or unequal , and preferred instead to consider a thing called ease.

The reception of a particular age-gap relationship depends on its obviousness. The greater and more visible the difference in years and status between a man and a woman, the more it strikes others as transactional. Transactional thinking in relationships is both as American as it gets and the least kosher subject in the American romantic lexicon. When a 50-year-old man and a 25-year-old woman walk down the street, the questions form themselves inside of you; they make you feel cynical and obscene: How good of a deal is that? Which party is getting the better one? Would I take it? He is older. Income rises with age, so we assume he has money, at least relative to her; at minimum, more connections and experience. She has supple skin. Energy. Sex. Maybe she gets a Birkin. Maybe he gets a baby long after his prime. The sight of their entwined hands throws a lucid light on the calculations each of us makes, in love, to varying degrees of denial. You could get married in the most romantic place in the world, like I did, and you would still have to sign a contract.

Twenty and 30 is not like 30 and 40; some freshness to my features back then, some clumsiness in my bearing, warped our decade, in the eyes of others, to an uncrossable gulf. Perhaps this explains the anger we felt directed at us at the start of our relationship. People seemed to take us very, very personally. I recall a hellish car ride with a friend of his who began to castigate me in the backseat, in tones so low that only I could hear him. He told me, You wanted a rich boyfriend. You chased and snuck into parties . He spared me the insult of gold digger, but he drew, with other words, the outline for it. Most offended were the single older women, my husband’s classmates. They discussed me in the bathroom at parties when I was in the stall. What does he see in her? What do they talk about? They were concerned about me. They wielded their concern like a bludgeon. They paraphrased without meaning to my favorite line from Nabokov’s Lolita : “You took advantage of my disadvantage,” suspecting me of some weakness he in turn mined. It did not disturb them, so much, to consider that all relationships were trades. The trouble was the trade I’d made struck them as a bad one.

The truth is you can fall in love with someone for all sorts of reasons, tiny transactions, pluses and minuses, whose sum is your affection for each other, your loyalty, your commitment. The way someone picks up your favorite croissant. Their habit of listening hard. What they do for you on your anniversary and your reciprocal gesture, wrapped thoughtfully. The serenity they inspire; your happiness, enlivening it. When someone says they feel unappreciated, what they really mean is you’re in debt to them.

When I think of same-age, same-stage relationships, what I tend to picture is a woman who is doing too much for too little.

I’m 27 now, and most women my age have “partners.” These days, girls become partners quite young. A partner is supposed to be a modern answer to the oppression of marriage, the terrible feeling of someone looming over you, head of a household to which you can only ever be the neck. Necks are vulnerable. The problem with a partner, however, is if you’re equal in all things, you compromise in all things. And men are too skilled at taking .

There is a boy out there who knows how to floss because my friend taught him. Now he kisses college girls with fresh breath. A boy married to my friend who doesn’t know how to pack his own suitcase. She “likes to do it for him.” A million boys who know how to touch a woman, who go to therapy because they were pushed, who learned fidelity, boundaries, decency, manners, to use a top sheet and act humanely beneath it, to call their mothers, match colors, bring flowers to a funeral and inhale, exhale in the face of rage, because some girl, some girl we know, some girl they probably don’t speak to and will never, ever credit, took the time to teach him. All while she was working, raising herself, clawing up the cliff-face of adulthood. Hauling him at her own expense.

I find a post on Reddit where five thousand men try to define “ a woman’s touch .” They describe raised flower beds, blankets, photographs of their loved ones, not hers, sprouting on the mantel overnight. Candles, coasters, side tables. Someone remembering to take lint out of the dryer. To give compliments. I wonder what these women are getting back. I imagine them like Cinderella’s mice, scurrying around, their sole proof of life their contributions to a more central character. On occasion I meet a nice couple, who grew up together. They know each other with a fraternalism tender and alien to me.  But I think of all my friends who failed at this, were failed at this, and I think, No, absolutely not, too risky . Riskier, sometimes, than an age gap.

My younger brother is in his early 20s, handsome, successful, but in many ways: an endearing disaster. By his age, I had long since wisened up. He leaves his clothes in the dryer, takes out a single shirt, steams it for three minutes. His towel on the floor, for someone else to retrieve. His lovely, same-age girlfriend is aching to fix these tendencies, among others. She is capable beyond words. Statistically, they will not end up together. He moved into his first place recently, and she, the girlfriend, supplied him with a long, detailed list of things he needed for his apartment: sheets, towels, hangers, a colander, which made me laugh. She picked out his couch. I will bet you anything she will fix his laundry habits, and if so, they will impress the next girl. If they break up, she will never see that couch again, and he will forget its story. I tell her when I visit because I like her, though I get in trouble for it: You shouldn’t do so much for him, not for someone who is not stuck with you, not for any boy, not even for my wonderful brother.

Too much work had left my husband, by 30, jaded and uninspired. He’d burned out — but I could reenchant things. I danced at restaurants when they played a song I liked. I turned grocery shopping into an adventure, pleased by what I provided. Ambitious, hungry, he needed someone smart enough to sustain his interest, but flexible enough in her habits to build them around his hours. I could. I do: read myself occupied, make myself free, materialize beside him when he calls for me. In exchange, I left a lucrative but deadening spreadsheet job to write full-time, without having to live like a writer. I learned to cook, a little, and decorate, somewhat poorly. Mostly I get to read, to walk central London and Miami and think in delicious circles, to work hard, when necessary, for free, and write stories for far less than minimum wage when I tally all the hours I take to write them.

At 20, I had felt daunted by the project of becoming my ideal self, couldn’t imagine doing it in tandem with someone, two raw lumps of clay trying to mold one another and only sullying things worse. I’d go on dates with boys my age and leave with the impression they were telling me not about themselves but some person who didn’t exist yet and on whom I was meant to bet regardless. My husband struck me instead as so finished, formed. Analyzable for compatibility. He bore the traces of other women who’d improved him, small but crucial basics like use a coaster ; listen, don’t give advice. Young egos mellow into patience and generosity.

My husband isn’t my partner. He’s my mentor, my lover, and, only in certain contexts, my friend. I’ll never forget it, how he showed me around our first place like he was introducing me to myself: This is the wine you’ll drink, where you’ll keep your clothes, we vacation here, this is the other language we’ll speak, you’ll learn it, and I did. Adulthood seemed a series of exhausting obligations. But his logistics ran so smoothly that he simply tacked mine on. I moved into his flat, onto his level, drag and drop, cleaner thrice a week, bills automatic. By opting out of partnership in my 20s, I granted myself a kind of compartmentalized, liberating selfishness none of my friends have managed. I am the work in progress, the party we worry about, a surprising dominance. When I searched for my first job, at 21, we combined our efforts, for my sake. He had wisdom to impart, contacts with whom he arranged coffees; we spent an afternoon, laughing, drawing up earnest lists of my pros and cons (highly sociable; sloppy math). Meanwhile, I took calls from a dear friend who had a boyfriend her age. Both savagely ambitious, hyperclose and entwined in each other’s projects. If each was a start-up , the other was the first hire, an intense dedication I found riveting. Yet every time she called me, I hung up with the distinct feeling that too much was happening at the same time: both learning to please a boss; to forge more adult relationships with their families; to pay bills and taxes and hang prints on the wall. Neither had any advice to give and certainly no stability. I pictured a three-legged race, two people tied together and hobbling toward every milestone.

I don’t fool myself. My marriage has its cons. There are only so many times one can say “thank you” — for splendid scenes, fine dinners — before the phrase starts to grate. I live in an apartment whose rent he pays and that shapes the freedom with which I can ever be angry with him. He doesn’t have to hold it over my head. It just floats there, complicating usual shorthands to explain dissatisfaction like, You aren’t being supportive lately . It’s a Frenchism to say, “Take a decision,” and from time to time I joke: from whom? Occasionally I find myself in some fabulous country at some fabulous party and I think what a long way I have traveled, like a lucky cloud, and it is frightening to think of oneself as vapor.

Mostly I worry that if he ever betrayed me and I had to move on, I would survive, but would find in my humor, preferences, the way I make coffee or the bed nothing that he did not teach, change, mold, recompose, stamp with his initials, the way Renaissance painters hid in their paintings their faces among a crowd. I wonder if when they looked at their paintings, they saw their own faces first. But this is the wrong question, if our aim is happiness. Like the other question on which I’m expected to dwell: Who is in charge, the man who drives or the woman who put him there so she could enjoy herself? I sit in the car, in the painting it would have taken me a corporate job and 20 years to paint alone, and my concern over who has the upper hand becomes as distant as the horizon, the one he and I made so wide for me.

To be a woman is to race against the clock, in several ways, until there is nothing left to be but run ragged.

We try to put it off, but it will hit us at some point: that we live in a world in which our power has a different shape from that of men, a different distribution of advantage, ours a funnel and theirs an expanding cone. A woman at 20 rarely has to earn her welcome; a boy at 20 will be turned away at the door. A woman at 30 may find a younger woman has taken her seat; a man at 30 will have invited her. I think back to the women in the bathroom, my husband’s classmates. What was my relationship if not an inconvertible sign of this unfairness? What was I doing, in marrying older, if not endorsing it? I had taken advantage of their disadvantage. I had preempted my own. After all, principled women are meant to defy unfairness, to show some integrity or denial, not plan around it, like I had. These were driven women, successful, beautiful, capable. I merely possessed the one thing they had already lost. In getting ahead of the problem, had I pushed them down? If I hadn’t, would it really have made any difference?

When we decided we wanted to be equal to men, we got on men’s time. We worked when they worked, retired when they retired, had to squeeze pregnancy, children, menopause somewhere impossibly in the margins. I have a friend, in her late 20s, who wears a mood ring; these days it is often red, flickering in the air like a siren when she explains her predicament to me. She has raised her fair share of same-age boyfriends. She has put her head down, worked laboriously alongside them, too. At last she is beginning to reap the dividends, earning the income to finally enjoy herself. But it is now, exactly at this precipice of freedom and pleasure, that a time problem comes closing in. If she would like to have children before 35, she must begin her next profession, motherhood, rather soon, compromising inevitably her original one. The same-age partner, equally unsettled in his career, will take only the minimum time off, she guesses, or else pay some cost which will come back to bite her. Everything unfailingly does. If she freezes her eggs to buy time, the decision and its logistics will burden her singly — and perhaps it will not work. Overlay the years a woman is supposed to establish herself in her career and her fertility window and it’s a perfect, miserable circle. By midlife women report feeling invisible, undervalued; it is a telling cliché, that after all this, some husbands leave for a younger girl. So when is her time, exactly? For leisure, ease, liberty? There is no brand of feminism which achieved female rest. If women’s problem in the ’50s was a paralyzing malaise, now it is that they are too active, too capable, never permitted a vacation they didn’t plan. It’s not that our efforts to have it all were fated for failure. They simply weren’t imaginative enough.

For me, my relationship, with its age gap, has alleviated this rush , permitted me to massage the clock, shift its hands to my benefit. Very soon, we will decide to have children, and I don’t panic over last gasps of fun, because I took so many big breaths of it early: on the holidays of someone who had worked a decade longer than I had, in beautiful places when I was young and beautiful, a symmetry I recommend. If such a thing as maternal energy exists, mine was never depleted. I spent the last nearly seven years supported more than I support and I am still not as old as my husband was when he met me. When I have a child, I will expect more help from him than I would if he were younger, for what does professional tenure earn you if not the right to set more limits on work demands — or, if not, to secure some child care, at the very least? When I return to work after maternal upheaval, he will aid me, as he’s always had, with his ability to put himself aside, as younger men are rarely able.

Above all, the great gift of my marriage is flexibility. A chance to live my life before I become responsible for someone else’s — a lover’s, or a child’s. A chance to write. A chance at a destiny that doesn’t adhere rigidly to the routines and timelines of men, but lends itself instead to roomy accommodation, to the very fluidity Betty Friedan dreamed of in 1963 in The Feminine Mystique , but we’ve largely forgotten: some career or style of life that “permits year-to-year variation — a full-time paid job in one community, part-time in another, exercise of the professional skill in serious volunteer work or a period of study during pregnancy or early motherhood when a full-time job is not feasible.” Some things are just not feasible in our current structures. Somewhere along the way we stopped admitting that, and all we did was make women feel like personal failures. I dream of new structures, a world in which women have entry-level jobs in their 30s; alternate avenues for promotion; corporate ladders with balconies on which they can stand still, have a smoke, take a break, make a baby, enjoy themselves, before they keep climbing. Perhaps men long for this in their own way. Actually I am sure of that.

Once, when we first fell in love, I put my head in his lap on a long car ride; I remember his hands on my face, the sun, the twisting turns of a mountain road, surprising and not surprising us like our romance, and his voice, telling me that it was his biggest regret that I was so young, he feared he would lose me. Last week, we looked back at old photos and agreed we’d given each other our respective best years. Sometimes real equality is not so obvious, sometimes it takes turns, sometimes it takes almost a decade to reveal itself.

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