essay on self disclosure

Self-Disclosure in Personal Relationships Report

Introduction, impact of self-disclosure, hindrances to communication.

Communication is regarded as the most important component of any successful relationship. It is through this activity that people get to exchange ideas and express themselves to others. Communication can also be used to foster relationships between or among people. In the recent past, I have made use of communication to try kindle a friendship with one of my neighbors whom I have always wanted to get to know better. Specifically, I made use of personal self-disclosure with the hopes of fostering a deeper relationship with my friend. In this paper, I will analyze the effects that my act of self-disclosure had and the listening skills that my friend and I employed.

Since we were familiar with each other, we did not need to engage in small talk because we both knew each other’s interests. I decided to disclose some personal information in order to influence the relationship between my neighbor and me. This was based on my understanding that self-disclosure plays an important role in constructing the kind of relationship that one has with others (Greene, Valerian & Alicia, 2004).

I expected my neighbor to also reciprocate by disclosing something personal about herself. My expectation were based on the dyadic effect which indicates that “one person’s disclosure input encourages another’s disclosure, which, in turn, may encourage the first person to disclose more, and so on” (Greene et al., 2004, p.410). The reciprocal process of disclosure contributes to the development of a relationship since the parties involved end up gaining a deeper understanding of each other.

The kind of climate present during our meeting fostered self-disclosure between us. Our verbal communication was very effective and we were both able to properly articulate our thoughts to each other. We both engaged in a confirming form of communication where we both recognized and to some extent endorsed each other’s ideas. Confirming communication also involves acknowledgement of the relevance of the other party (Adler & Proctor, 2010). We were both very accommodating of each other’s opinion and no one engaged in rationalization of any information provided. This open and non-judgmental atmosphere made the

Listening is an integral part of the communication process and it involves not only receiving the sound waves but also understanding what is being communication. Downs (2008) asserts that good listening skills are mandatory for effective communication since they facilitate understanding and prevent the frustration that may arise from the speaker feeling ignored. We both demonstrated good listening skills and engaged in active listening.

For example, both of us used non-verbal communication cues that showed that were paying attention to each other’s words. We both made use of paraphrasing; a technique that ensures that the correct message from the speaker has been understood (Greene & Burleson, 2003). We maintained eye contact and there was constant nodding to demonstrate attention to what was being said.

My friend made use of non-verbal communication to accent what she was saying. For example, when talking about the recent hospitalization of her mother, she dropped her shoulders and sighed a lot. This non-verbal communication highlighted the sense of loss and sadness that she felt. I also used non-verbal communication to enhance the communication process. Specifically, I made conscious efforts to communicate an open and friendly stance throughout the conversation. I tried not to cross my arms and leaned forward in a relaxed fashion. I also made use of periodic touches, which were meant to communicate friendship and warmth. Adler and Proctor (2010) suggest that touch during communication increases liking and boosts the likelihood of compliance.

However, the self-disclosure process was hindered by a poor communication habit by both of us. We interrupted each other in mid sentence when we felt that there was something to add to what the speaker had said. In my case, I would remember something because of what my neighbor had said and since I did not want to forget it, I would interrupt her train of thoughts with my ideas. Interrupting has a negative impact on the communication process since it disrupts the thought process of the speaker. This habit also suggests that one is not listening to the speaker carefully but rather looking for an opportunity to air his or her own views (Hargie, 2006). In spite of this negative communication habit, we were able to get each other’s point of view since the interruptions were not frequent.

In this paper, I have reviewed a communication session in which I made use of self-disclosure so as to foster a closer relationship with my neighbor. The self-disclosure resulted in both of us gaining a deeper understanding of each other and greatly contributed to a positive relationship between us in future. I have highlighted the effective communication skills we employed include active listening and use of non-verbal skills. However, we were both involved in the disruptive habit of interrupting each other. In overall, I can state that the self-disclosure act yielded positive results.

Adler, R.B., & Proctor, R. (2010). Looking Out, Looking In . Boston: Wadsworth Publishing.

Downs, L. J. (2008). Listening Skills Training . NJ: American Society for Training and Development.

Greene, J. & Burleson, B. (2003). Handbook of Communication and Social Interaction Skills . New York: Routledge.

Greene, K., Valerian, L., & Alicia, M. (2004). Self-disclosure in personal relationships . Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.

Hargie, O. (2006). The Handbook of Communication Skills . NJ: Taylor & Francis.

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Self-Disclosure in Psychological Therapy

Self-disclosure is revealing personal information to others. In the context of counseling, the implementation of this principle may significantly assist the client. As mentioned by Evans, Hearn, Uhlemann, and Ivey (2016), it is used to “facilitate clients’ understanding of their experiences, thoughts, feelings, and behaviors” (p. 187). The technique may help build trustful and open relationships because the disclosure of personal information allows removing psychological barriers in clients and creates the feeling of connectedness to others in them.

Counseling requires responsiveness and emotional involvement of the interviewer in the process. Without it, the effectiveness of counseling sessions may be inhibited. Self-disclosing can largely benefit and increase the efficiency of interviews as it shows clients that you are listening to them and understand their problems. However, interviewers should know when and how to use the principle of self-disclosure. It should be appropriate and should serve the interests of the client.

It is possible to say that in the reviewed case, the information revealed by a counselor does not entirely suit the situation. When a client discusses her separation with family, she hopes they can reunite. When the interviewer shares the personal experience with her, he/she is not very sensitive to the woman’s emotions. One can find some gross similarities in their experiences – both stories are about divorce and misunderstanding between spouses – but the counselor should not have said, “I am baffled why we ever got married in the first place” because the phrase does not seem to suit the client’s expectations and interests. When self-disclosure is not applied appropriately and does not meet clients’ needs, it can only show interviewers’ incompetence and prevent them from developing trustful relationships with interviewees.

During a session, professionals always attempt to understand their clients. For this reason, they show empathy. At the same time, an emphatic attitude should not lose objectivity. However, self-disclosure is associated with both communication benefits and risks of losing impartiality needed in the profession.

In early psychological therapy, self-disclosure is regarded as unnecessary in case clients understand the nature of sessions. According to Patterson (n.d.), a client usually expects to talk about him/herself and does not expect therapists to share their personal experiences. Clients may become puzzled and embarrassed in case an interviewer talks about him/herself (Patterson, n.d.). However, if a client seems not to understand the nature of counseling, self-disclosure may be used to encourage the conversation.

Nevertheless, self-disclosing should not be too informal because it is anti-therapeutic. At the beginning of the professional relationships, a person may feel anxious and lack trust. The excess openness of an interviewer, in this case, may aggravate the situation. Thus, a counselor may start by sharing factual information first and hide the personal one.

Similar to the counseling process, documentation should contain the relevant and germane information that will help a counselor/therapist to track clients’ therapeutic history. The inclusion of the interviewer’s personal information is, therefore, not necessary in the professional reports. However, a counselor should mention the techniques he/she used, diagnostic impressions, plans, assessments, etc. (Smith, 2003). It is useful to note a few details about the course of the conversation and what effect the implementation of a particular communication tool had on the outcomes. Documentation helps to follow-up the treatment, identify information gaps, and develop strategies to fill them in.

Mutual understanding is core to effective counseling. In a friendly environment, it is much easier for a client to open him/herself and change. Self-disclosing is thus an important aspect of contemporary counseling and therapy as it helps to develop trustful client-counselor relationships. By reducing the anonymity in own character, an interviewer encourages clients to disclose significant personal experiences and, in this way, facilitates positive outcomes.

Evans, D. R., Hearn, M. T., Uhlemann, M. R., & Ivey, A. E. (2016). Essential Interviewing: A programmed approach to effective communication. Boston, MA: Cengage Learning.

Patterson, C. H. (n.d.). Therapist self-disclosure . Web.

Smith, D. (2003). Ten ways practitioners can avoid frequent ethical pitfalls . Web.

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Self Disclosure Analysis Essay Example

• Pages: 3 (653 words)
• Published: November 29, 2016
• Type: Essay

Self-disclosure is both the conscious and subconscious act of revealing more about oneself to others. This may include, but is not limited to, thoughts, feelings, aspirations, goals, failures, successes, fears, dreams as well as one's likes, dislikes, and favorites. Typically, a self-disclosure happens when we initially meet someone and continues as we build and develop our relationships with people.

As we get to know each other, we disclose information about ourselves. If one person is not willing to "self-disclose" then the other person may stop disclosing information about themselves as well. In a counseling session, the patient or client does the "self-disclosing" while the counselor, or therapist listens. The goal is to help the client see things from different perspectives. This allows the client to see and evaluate options he or she may not have thought about, which may give the client more power

when making important life decisions. There are several relationship perspectives in self-disclosing information in a counseling session.

That of patient to therapist, therapist to patient, supervisor to supervise, and supervisee to supervisor. Each of these relationships affects the tendency to disclose personal information. The clinical space available for patients to disclose should be far broader than that of the therapist. Self-disclosure is an important building block for intimacy, intimacy cannot be achieved without it. We expect self-disclosure to be reciprocal and appropriate. Self-disclosure can be assessed on an analysis of cost and rewards which can be further explained by social exchange theory.

Most self-disclosure usually occurs early in relational development, but more intimate self-disclosure occurs later. Male and female differences in self-disclosure are mixed. Women self-disclose

to enhance a relationship where men self-disclose relative to control and vulnerability. Men initially disclose more in heterosexual relationships. Women tend to put more emphasis on intimate communication with same sex friends than men do. Nov 12, 2009

What Are The Benefits To Self-Disclosure? Self-Disclosure Benefits You and Your Relationships

Although there are some risks in being self-disclosing, the potential benefits are overwhelming--both for yourself and for your relationships with others, especially your children. These benefits include:

Knowing Yourself Better When you disclose yourself to your children and others, you are, at the same time, talking to yourself, keeping in touch with your own thoughts and feelings, values, and beliefs. You maintain awareness, responsibility, and control of your inner experiences.

Liking Yourself Better You feel better about yourself as a parent, and as a person, when you are open, honest, and clear with your children; when you express who you are and what you think and believe, you feel strong, responsible, confident.

Being Better Understood By Others Your self-disclosure leads to a more accurate understanding by others of who you really are. Your children will know the important thoughts, feelings, and values you want them to know. They won't be confused, in the dark, and worried about where you stand on certain issues. Tension and uncertainty will be replaced by a new, secure awareness of who you really are.

Encouraging Self-Disclosure In Your Child Your openness, directness, and sincerity will invariably encourage the same from your children and from others around you. Honesty is very contagious in families when it is modeled by the parent, along with the attitude

that the home is a "safe place" for everyone to express true thoughts and feelings. Generally, this kind of self-disclosure draws families closer together. Indifference, alienation, and tension recede. Trust and mutual caring take their place.

Conflicts Are Prevented The other members of your family can better meet your needs when they have a clear picture of what you want. The chances of having conflicts with your children resulting from unknown or uncommunicated needs are thus greatly reduced. Expressing yourself openly and clearly will eliminate unwanted surprise, unpreparedness, and the unexpected from your relationships. In a family where openness and genuineness prevail, tension, resentment, and silent suffering simply have no opportunity to grow.

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Home | Life | Personality | All About Me | About Myself

Self-Disclosure Essay

• Updated July 25, 2023
• Pages 2 (453 words)
• Personality
• All About Me
• Self Reflection
• About Myself
• Self Awareness
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“To be open with another person you must (a) be aware of who you are, (b) accept yourself, and (c) take the risk of trusting the other person to be accepting of you” (Stewart, 2012, p. 211). I realize more than ever before through this course just how shy I am. I am not open, and it is challenging for me to disclose myself to others. Stewart (2012) talks about the impact self-disclosure has on relationships. If you can not reveal yourself to others, you will never build a close relationship or be valued by others (Stewart, 2012). To stay silent is to stay strangers, and that is how I feel about people I have known for several years—they are strangers. I have neglected to take the time to be open around others and find myself distance from others. Stewart (2012) provides several ways that self-disclosure can begin to develop, grow, and maintained in relationships. Self-disclosure or being open allows you and others to get to know each other. Individuals start by sharing small exchanges of information and eventually share more sensitive and intimate areas.

At times there is more information shared then at different times, but there is an openness in the self-disclosure (Stewart, 2012). According to Stewart (2012) common goals, needs, interests, activities, and values are revealed through self-disclosure. He further explains, that there must be effective collaboration in the relationship to achieve mutual goals. Just as self-disclosure develops relationships, the lack of self-disclosure or refusal to acknowledge feelings can hurt the relationship (Stewart, 2012). Self-disclosure requires taking a risk, and one must be willing to trust another to build a better relationship (Stewart, 2012).

Not only does self-disclosure have a positive impact on relationships, but it also provides benefits (Stewart, 2012). The sharing of feelings, confidences, and caring improve the commitment to each other through disclosure (Stewart, 2012). Consensual validation comes about by exposure, and it allows us to validate our perceptions and reactions in comparison to those of others. It also clarifies our understanding of ourselves and fulfills a human need to be known and accepted (Stewart, 2012). The Bible tells us to “encourage one another and build one another up….” (1 Thessalonians 5:11, NIV). Self-disclosure is risky when starting a new relationship with someone, but with each conversation, we learn more about who we are and helping someone else do the same. So, therefore, as I study and reflect on the impact and benefits of self-disclosure, I must gradually begin to be open to others. The desire for more intimate relationships is present, and I must take the risk of not staying silent.

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Self Disclosure - Essay Example

• Subject: People
• Type: Essay
• Level: College
• Pages: 3 (750 words)
• Downloads: 3
• Author: hertha40

Extract of sample "Self Disclosure"

Self disclosure is a major decision on the part of the personal as its sharing is liable to make the person vulnerable. There are different types of situation that may warrant self disclosure of confidential information. According to Fisher, an eminent psychologist, 'Pick someone you can trust. Try to gain enough understanding and objectivity that you can then develop a strategy for further disclosure" (Fisher, 1994). The most important is the sharing of intimate details of one's personal health and family history with the physician or doctors or counselors who need the information to diagnose the medical illness.

Patients afflicted with HIV/AIDS, mental illnesses, substance abuse and other sexual diseases, generally do not prefer to share this information with heir friends and relatives for fear of being treated as social pariahs. The social stigmas attached with the diseases makes people wary of sharing this vital information which is not only dangerous for the person concerned but it also threatens the well being of the people associated with it. It is therefore, important that such people disclose this information with their friends so that both of them can take appropriate precautions while maintaining their relationship.

Another area where self disclosure becomes important is the marriage or part. But it is equally true that self disclosure is not risk proof and may become counter productive and adversely effect the relations. But overall, self disclosure, within the marital relationship, is considered to be a bonding factor and encourages trust building that helps overcome their differences.The advent of internet has redefined the communication and has become one the most powerful tools of information. While easy access to information through internet has been hailed as the most radical process of dissemination of information, the lack of effective control over the same has become a cause of great concern with the increasing cases of variety of cyber crimes.

Identity theft and identity fraud are cyber crimes that have serious repercussions on the society as people's identity and their confidential information is used by the cyber criminal to committed different types of illegal activities. Hence, discretion is self disclosure is advisable.ConclusionOne can therefore conclude that self disclosure that leads to sharing of personal information amongst the friends and acquaintances is not always a straight option and might involve huge adverse ramifications for the person.

The self disclosure of confidential information makes people susceptible to blackmail by vested interests and people must use their discretion and divulge information that is necessary and pertains to the issue in question.ReferenceFisher, D. (1994). A psychiatrist's gradual disclosure. New York State, Office of Mental Health, OMH News, 6(9), 16. Available from: [Accessed 19 February,

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