grade 9 remains essay

susansenglish

What I love… Education based blog by @susansenglish

Why I love…Comparing Poems: AQA ‘Checking Out Me History’ with ‘The Emigree’

I’ve written comparison essays for a few of the poems in the Power and Conflict Anthology for AQA (see links at bottom) and undertook in my last post to think about how to compare “Checking Out Me History” with all the poems (not full essays – just brief thoughts on this.) See here: Why I love…Comparison Revision Thoughts. Checking Out Me History and…(All P&C poems)

However, in this I decided (rightfully or not) during this process that ‘The Emigree’ would be the easiest choice to compare and I’ve attempted this below. It may be interesting or useful. Do let me know.

I’ve linked the word document here: Comparing Checking Out with The Emigree

Comparing: Checking Out Me History with The Emigree

How is conflict over identity presented in Checking Out Me History and one other poem from The Anthology?

Both poems ‘The Emigree’ and ‘Checking Out Me History’ explore a feeling of conflict over the persona’s own individual identity as a result of displacement and historical inaccuracy. Rumens and Agard appear to reflect with melancholy on the past, long for something different and understand the disparity that they live with.

Rumens poem is relatively short with three even stanzas of eight lines long, while Agard’s poem is much longer and more fragmented, perhaps showing the relative fragmentation of the history he was told about or learnt about in school. Rumens poem meanwhile reflects the stability of her life and her history while allowing to show that she is in stanza one discussing leaving her homeland as a child and in stanza three reflecting on the fact that there is no way back to this place. The poems are dissimilar in this respect as Agard is not reflecting on something or somewhere that he left but instead discussing the historic leaving out of a large chunk of history that was never taught to him. In this way Rumens knows her own personal history and reflects on this and Agard questions why he did not know the wider societal history of a whole swathe of people. Agard’s questioning is further reinforced in the italicised, indentations in the poem as these sections of the poem show the other side of history, the side that Agard wants to know, but that was not taught in school. It seems as if Agard is longing for something different in his understanding of history and that he knows history taught in school is whitewashed and not truly reflective of the great Black people who are deserving of a place in the history books but that are omitted in favour of a more colonial reflection. Rumens too is longing for something else as she uses the first person “I have no passport, there’s no way back at all” to show that even though she feels a sense of cultural belonging and a desire to return to the place of her childhood there is a barrier there. In this way both poems have barriers: ‘Checking Out Me History’ could be what we are taught or not taught and ‘The Emigree’ may be the physical barrier of not being able to legally return to somewhere. This longing for something different is further reinforced through Rumens use of the verb “branded” which has connotations of something being burnt into your skin, something permanent and no-removable as when the poet uses this phrase it is an “impression of sunlight” which has sunk into her psyche and which she cannot get away from, or indeed doesn’t want to get away from. It is as if she pines for this feeling of belonging in a country where she no longer does belong, which is similar to Agard as he repeats the refrain “Dem tell me” at the beginning of the poem with a tone of cynicism as he wants to know not just what he is told but everything about his “own history” that he has not been told. The metaphorical “bandage up me eye” and the use of colloquial language reinforces the idea that Agard hasn’t been told something significant. It is almost as if his longing is for the truth about what happened to his people, as opposed to the nursery rhymes that he was fed. While appearing cynical about the history he was told, he doesn’t seem angry just accepts that this is how it was for him, which is similar in ‘The Emigree’ as she doesn’t seem angered that she is no longer welcome, just sad and reflective that this is the situation she is in. In this way both poems reflect in a calm and rational way on a longing for something different, although this seems to be tinged with melancholy.

Agard is a black British man and he reflected in an interview that he is pleased that his poems encourage people to think about and talk about inter-racial connections and this can be seen in the way he challenges what he was learnt about white history and black history. It is with a feeling of melancholy that Agard references the Battle of Hastings “Dem tell me about 1066 and all dat” as if it is something that every child will know about. The connotations of all dat” seem to be it needs no further explanation as every person who has been through the British education system will have knowledge of what happened in Medieval England. The melancholic tone increases in “But Toussaint L’Ouverture no dem never tell me bout dat” particularly as the enjambment carries on to Agard telling the story of “Toussaint” in italics, showing that he was missed out of the history books and that his story needs embellishment, unlike “1066” which is very little information but which tells a whole significant historic story. Interestingly, we never establish who “dem” is, they appear to be a collective pronoun for everyone who has written history, taught history or it could be the systemic failure to ensure black people are enriched with knowledge about their own past. In the same way in ‘The Emigree’ we have third party information about her homeland which she seems to dismiss “may be at war” and “may be sick with tyrants” to show that she still feels melancholic about having left it. Rumens stated that the poem is about the conflict between imagination and conventions which could mean that the power of the imagination is more potent in the poem than adhering to the rules of society. This seems likely as throughout the poem the persona is reflecting with extreme nostalgia on the relationship between where she is now and where she wants to be. Her memory of the place seems stronger than where she is now. Both Agard and Rumens reflect on the conflict humans have over their identity based on what they have been told, what they can imagine and what they want to know or be or do.

Disparity appears evident in both poems. This is reflected through the use of metaphorical distance and barriers in “as time rolls its tanks” and “close like waves” making it seem as if what she has left behind was precious, but that she can still see it, imagine it and enjoy it, even though ironically this is all in the imagination. While Agard disparity is clearer when he reflects on nursery rhymes such as ‘Hey Diddle Diddle’ which seem nonsensical and childish in comparison to the tales of “Nanny de maroon” which are never told to him. This is also reinforced in further tales of famous women both white and black which juxtapose each other. “Florence Nightingale and she lamp” is the colloquial retelling of the famous nurse who revolutionised nursing and is lauded as being an agent of change and an angel of mercy. However, “Mary Seacole” who was equally worthy of praise for the same bravery and nursing accolades was ignored and her story never told. This disparity shows that historical black people’s tales have been overlooked, ignored and almost shunned, which shows that society still has a long way to go to change and become equal. The disparity is not as evident in ‘The Emigree’ but it still exists. However, Rumens third and final stanza shows a darker outlook on life and “They accuse me of being dark in their free city.” which seems to bring in the darker side of humanity. The impersonal pronoun “they” creates a sense that anyone could be accusing her and anyone could be accused. This seems similar to the re-writing of history in ‘Checking Out Me History’ where Agard also doesn’t explicitly mention colour or race but instead alludes throughout to the way race has shaped history, what he was told and the fact that he is “carving out me identity” implying that he has to seek out the stories and he is responsible for owning those in the same way that Rumens persona is responsible for allowing her imagination to run free.

Rumens and Agard both create narratives around the past and the use of the imagination to explore what was or what could have been, they both tell tales of being displaced (Agard from his own history, Rumens as an imaginative flight of fancy about what it is like to be displaced). However, they both have an important message about identity and the conflict that is inherent in owning your own identity. Rumens poems is melancholic and reflective and the message seems to be to embrace your imagination while Agard is more grounded and seems to portray a need to know concrete facts and ideas about yourself. In this way the poems explore a conflict over identity in complex and different ways, showing that identity is very individual.

Other Comparison Blogs and AQA Anthology blogs are linked below:

Why I love…Revising Power and Conflict: Comparing Bayonet Charge & Exposure with @FlipsCoCards

Why I love…Comparing Tissue and The Emigree

Why I love…Comparing in the AQA Anthology: Poppies and War Photographer

Why I love…Comparing Poems: AQA Charge of the Light Brigade and Bayonet Charge

Why I love…Comparing Poems: AQA Exposure by Owen with Storm on the Island by Heaney

Why I love…Comparing Poems: AQA Extract from the Prelude and Storm on the Island

Why I love…Comparing AQA poems a series: Ozymandias and My Last Duchess

Why I love… AQA Comparisons Series: An Introduction

Why I love…AQA Power & Conflict: Developing subject knowledge

Mr Salles Teaches English

Grade 9 power and conflict.

I often get emails like this:

I was wondering if you could possibly quickly mark this essay I wrote. It would be so helpful as I have important mocks coming up and my teacher has never said we are allowed to send them anything we write!

Also ,by the way, I find your videos so helpful, especially the Macbeth ones!

Thanks again,

Usually, I don’t have time to respond, or the essay has too many mistakes, and it would take even longer to explain them! But, now I’ve started a newsletter, so I can make a bit more time. Pay attention to what Lily does and doesn’t do, and you can get a grade 9.

Compare how poets presents the effects of war on people in Poppies and one other poem in the Power and Conflict anthology

Both poems, ‘Poppies’ by Jane Weir and ‘Remains’ by Simon Armitage, explore how war affects an individual. However this is done in different ways, with ‘Poppies’ describing a mother’s experience whilst ‘Remains’ shows the impacts of war on a soldier, who seemingly has no one to care for him.

This is a good thesis statement, laying out the structure for the essay. Even better if it includes what the author intends us to think about these characters or the issues. What are we supposed to think, feel or predict about the mother’s experience, or the impact on the soldier?

In Poppies, a mother is consumed by the overwhelming grief over the death of her son. She constantly replays her memories of him, stuck in the past, no longer having a life of her own without thoughts of war and violence.

After your thesis statement, get into analysing a quotation. Which one would you use to back up these arguments?

The entire poem is written without structure, and feels incredibly intimate.

How is the lack of structure intimate? This is a really interesting idea, but you have to explain it.

Weir also structures the poem around personal pronouns such as ‘I’ and ‘You’ throughout, which creates the sense that the poem is an eulogy and a collection of memories that the loving mother continuously replays in her head.

Brilliant – you have a convincing reason to mention this structure, as it is leading to really interesting interpretations of the mother. So this earns a high AO3 mark.

However, these memories may actually have taken over her brain, as they have become violent and each is tinted with threatening imagery. Embedded in the memories of her son leaving home is a semantic field of military language, with words such as ‘spasms’, ‘bandaged’, ‘blockade’ and ‘blackthorns’ being used. The word ‘spasms’ ,being used to describe an ordinary object such as paper, highlights how the mother sees the world as dangerous, and may even reflect the constant worry of her son- her fear of his horrifying death.

You link a huge range of references together, for a very high AO1 references mark. Examiners love a semantic field! They are also linked to an interpretation of the mother, for a high AO2 mark.

The nouns ‘blockade’ and ‘blackthorns’ again highlight how she is demonising her day-to-day life, as a ‘blockade’ being a military tactic and ‘blackthorns’ reflecting the barbed wire along trenches.

Demonising her own life is an interesting idea, but you need to explain it, for example ‘so that we imagine…’

The mother’s life seems to have been remade, as she no longer has any time frame other than from when her son left. This is shown as the poet uses vague time frames such as ‘before’ and ‘after’, which show the only focus in her life is the time her son leaves, and how nothing else is now important.

This gets a high AO2 mark, it’s a clever analysis of time. Even better if you tell us how we might react to it.

This overwhelming impact of war is also felt by the soldier in the poem ‘Remains’. Simon Armitage describes a soldier in Iraq who has shot someone (who was ‘possibly’ defenceless), and now cannot escape the memory of it. His mind forces him every day to see the ‘blood-shadow’ of the man he killed on his patrol. This is a metaphor for the stain left by the man's insides on the street, but the word ‘shadow’ reflects how the image is haunting the man like a shadow, as we can never get rid of them.

This is a good comparison of the topic of each poem. But you also need to compare the methods – were any of your quotations from Poppies metaphors too? Now would be the time to make the connection.

Similarly, you have also noticed that this is a memory he cannot leave, which is similar to what you argued about the mother – but again you should make the direct comparison.

Even when the soldier has returned home he is plagued by memories of the murder: ‘and he bursts again through the doors of the bank’. This is the memory the soldier keeps replaying of the looter leaving the bank, but also metaphorically bursting through his mind; he has tried to keep his mind locked and separated but the man violently ‘bursts’ through it each night.

This is a good AO2 analysis as you focus on the implications of a particular word.

Eventually, the soldier recognises his mind as the true enemy when he says that the man is ‘dug in behind enemy lines’. ‘Dug’ reflects the permanence of the man in his brain and by calling his brain ‘enemy lines’ he shows how memory and his consciousness have consumed and ruined him- much like what has happened to the mother in ‘Poppies’.

This is the same length as the previous paragraph, but an excellent example of how to link your analysis of individual words to interpreting the character. This is top notch AO2.

Armitage has written a poem, describing what it is like for soldiers away from the battlefield, which is untypical of war poems, to contrast with readers' ideas of soldiers' lives being glorified and highlight the support that they actually do need.

You’ve written about the poet’s purpose here, which you didn’t about Poppies. You skilfully link to it in the next paragraph, for a comparison. This will improve your AO3 mark.

In ‘Poppies’, the son seems to have fallen for this glorified propaganda that Armitage challenges. Weir describes him as ‘intoxicated’, viewing war ‘like a treasure chest’. This simile reflects how the government and the media glorify war, presenting it as something that can be easily won, like a child's game of pirates, and the honour or ‘treasure’ that can be gained from it.

This is top level AO2 for your interpretation of quotations, and the way you link them across the poem. All your references have been linked to interpretations, so the AO1 references mark is really high too.

However, the mother does not seem to hold these patriotic values. Despite this, she voluntarily put herself in place of a soldier. She describes herself as ‘without reinforcements’ and also as ‘reaching the top of the hill’. These terms both show how she is imagining herself with the soldiers, with her son; ‘‘Reaching the top’ is similar to soldiers going over the top ,leaving their trenches, in war.

This is a brilliant analysis of semantic field that I have never paid attention to. Top AO2. But tell us what we are supposed to think, feel or predict for the top AO3 mark.

Although the mother in ‘Poppies’ wishes to be able to support and aid her son, the soldier in ‘Remains’ feels no support from neither friends nor social services and is left alone to attempt to cure himself with ‘the drink and the drugs’.

If there is a weakness in the structure of your essay it is that you don’t deal with the endings of the poems. Writing about the ends of texts always allows you to write about the author’s ideas, so always gives you high AO3 marks.

But, it also shows you are dealing with the whole text, which gives you high AO1 Task marks, too. So, ALWAYS write about the ending!

In conclusion, both poems explore how war has consumed and destroyed the lives of two different individuals. These individuals remain unnamed throughout each poem, as both poets leave the reader to be able to relate to either protagonist, as they are universal experiences. One is a mother, whose life is plagued with thoughts of her son, who the reader questions may or may not be alive, whilst the other is a soldier experiencing war first hand.

My guide to Power and Conflict Poems includes 11 grade 9 essays, comparing every poem.

The Mark Scheme

Level 6: Convincing, critical analysis and exploration. (26-30 marks)

Level 5: Thoughtful, developed consideration (21–25 marks)

All examiners are likely to agree that the answer has all of Level 5.

Then they might argue about how much it is “convincing” in Level 6. It would probably score in the 28-30 mark range for most examiners. I would be stingier because of the weaknesses I’ve pointed out. Also, you haven’t shown much understanding of Remains (and clearly haven’t watched my video on it!).

Thanks for reading Mr Salles Teaches English! Subscribe for free to receive top grade resources.

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Poetry Essay - Essay Writing Help - GCSE and A Level Resources

Exemplar AQA Power And Conflict Essay

Exemplar poetry essay - aqa english literature exam - june 2019 gcse standard (grade 9), grade 9 gcse essay - aqa - june 2019 compare how poets present the ways that people are affected by war in ‘war photographer’ and in one other poem from ‘power and conflict’., exemplar english literature essays.

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Remains + War Photographer - Regret - Essay Grade 9

Subject: English

Age range: 14-16

Resource type: Assessment and revision

Last updated

26 July 2023

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Compare the way the poets present regret in ‘Remains’ and 'War Photographer’.

Grade 9 GCSE AQA English Literature Poetry- Remains and War Photographer Essay. Clearly structured in the format required of the AQA mark scheme. Clear topic sentences, grade 9 analysis of quotes, varied subject terminology and analytical verbs.

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GCSE AQA POETRY GRADE 9 ESSAYS FOR ALL POEMS

GCSE AQA POETRY GRADE ESSAYS FOR ALL POEMS This bundle contains 9 Grade 9 standard essays which covers all 15 poems in the AQA Anthology and also covers a range of themes appropriate to the essay in the style of and AQA exam question. Clearly structured in the format required of the AQA mark scheme. Clear topic sentences, grade 9 analysis of quotes, varied subject terminology and analytical verbs. This bundle is offered at an £11.00 discount than buying the essays separately.

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Poppies and remains - grade 9 essay (power and conflict).

Institution

Full mark essay comparing types of conflict in the poems 'Poppies' and 'Remains'. These poems can be found in the AQA GCSE English Literature poetry anthology 'Power and Conflict'. This essay was written as revision for my GCSE in English Literature, for which I achieved a Grade 9. I have 11 GCS...

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Type Exam (elaborations)
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power and conflict
inner conflict
exemplar essay
english literature
Institution GCSE
Education GCSE
Course English
School year 200

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COMMENTS

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Lines 9-16 "The white streets of that city, the graceful slopes. glow even clearer as time rolls its tanks. and the frontiers rise between us, close like waves. That child's vocabulary I carried here. like a hollow doll, opens and spills a grammar. Soon I shall have every coloured molecule of it. It may by now be a lie, banned by the state
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