psychology

Love and Belonging Needs: The Key to Emotional Fulfillment

Love and Belonging Needs: The Key to Emotional Fulfillment

Love and belonging needs are fundamental aspects of human existence. As social beings, we crave connection, acceptance, and a sense of belonging. These needs go beyond mere physical survival; they encompass the emotional and psychological well-being that comes from being loved and accepted by others.

Love is a powerful force that can shape our lives in profound ways. Whether it’s the love between romantic partners, family members, or friends, it has the ability to bring joy, fulfillment, and meaning to our lives. Love provides us with a sense of security and support, allowing us to navigate life’s challenges with confidence. It nurtures our emotional well-being and helps us develop healthy relationships.

Belonging is equally important for our overall happiness and well-being. We all have an inherent desire to be part of something greater than ourselves – a community or group where we feel accepted and valued. When we belong, we feel connected to others on a deep level, which fosters a sense of purpose and identity. Being part of a supportive network gives us the courage to take risks, pursue our passions, and overcome obstacles.

In conclusion, love and belonging needs are essential components of human nature. They provide us with emotional fulfillment, support our mental well-being, foster meaningful connections with others, and give us a sense of purpose in life. Recognizing these needs allows us to prioritize nurturing relationships and cultivating communities where everyone feels loved and accepted.

The Importance of Love and Belonging Needs

When it comes to our fundamental human needs, love, and belonging are at the core of who we are as social beings. We all have an innate desire to connect with others, to feel loved and accepted, and a sense of belonging in our relationships and communities. These needs play a crucial role in shaping our emotional well-being, mental health, and overall happiness.

  • Emotional Support: Love and belonging needs to provide us with the emotional support we need to navigate life’s challenges. Having someone who understands us, supports us unconditionally, and is there for us during tough times can make all the difference in how we cope with stress and adversity. Whether it’s a close friend, family member, or romantic partner, having that bond can provide comfort and reassurance when we feel overwhelmed or alone.
  • Sense of Identity: Our need for love and belonging is closely tied to our sense of identity. It is through our relationships that we develop a deep understanding of ourselves – who we are, what we value, and where we belong. The connections we form with others help shape our beliefs, values, interests, and even aspirations. Being part of a community or group that shares similar goals or passions allows us to express ourselves authentically while feeling accepted.
  • Mental Well-being: Research has shown that strong social connections are linked to better mental well-being. Engaging in meaningful relationships boosts self-esteem and confidence while reducing feelings of loneliness or isolation. When we feel loved and supported by those around us, it contributes positively to our overall mental health by providing a buffer against stressors that may arise in daily life.
  • Fulfillment & Happiness: Love and belonging needs also contribute significantly to our personal fulfillment and happiness levels. When these needs are met consistently in healthy relationships – whether romantic partnerships or friendships – they foster a sense of contentment within ourselves. Feeling valued by others, having a sense of purpose in our relationships, and experiencing a genuine connection with those around us can bring immense joy and satisfaction to our lives.

In conclusion, recognizing the importance of love and belonging needs is vital for our overall well-being. These fundamental human desires are essential for fostering emotional support, shaping our sense of identity, promoting mental well-being, and ultimately contributing to our personal fulfillment and happiness. By nurturing these needs through meaningful connections and cultivating healthy relationships, we can create a more fulfilling life rich in love, acceptance, and belonging.

Understanding Love and Belonging Needs

Love and belonging needs are fundamental aspects of human nature. We all have a deep-rooted desire to feel loved, accepted, and connected to others. These needs play a crucial role in our overall well-being and happiness. In this section, I’ll delve into the intricacies of love and belonging needs, shedding light on their significance in our lives.

  • Building Meaningful Relationships: At the core of our need for love and belonging is the desire to form meaningful connections with others. Whether it’s through friendships, romantic relationships, or family bonds, these relationships provide us with a sense of belonging and acceptance. They offer support during challenging times and help us celebrate life’s joys.
  • Emotional Support: Love and belonging needs also encompass emotional support from those around us. We seek comfort in knowing that we have someone who genuinely cares about our well-being, listens to us without judgment, and offers empathy when we’re going through difficult experiences. Having someone who understands us on an emotional level helps foster a sense of security and fulfillment.
  • Social Acceptance: Feeling accepted by society is another vital aspect of fulfilling our love and belonging needs. We often seek validation from others to feel valued as individuals within our communities or social circles. This acceptance can come in various forms – be it recognition for our achievements or simply being included in social activities.
  • Sense of Belonging: Humans are inherently social beings; thus, feeling like we belong somewhere is essential for our psychological well-being. Whether it’s finding a place within a close-knit group or identifying with a particular community or culture, having a sense of belonging satisfies our need for connection at a deeper level.
  • Self-Love: While external sources contribute significantly to meeting love and belonging needs, it’s equally important to cultivate self-love from within ourselves—recognizing our own worthiness of love and acceptance independent of others’ opinions. Nurturing a positive self-image and practicing self-care helps strengthen our overall sense of belonging and fulfillment.

Understanding love and belonging needs is crucial for fostering healthy relationships, enhancing emotional well-being, and creating a sense of community. By acknowledging and prioritizing these needs in our lives, we can cultivate deeper connections with others and experience greater happiness and fulfillment.

Ways to Fulfill Love and Belonging Needs

When it comes to fulfilling our love and belonging needs, there are various strategies we can employ to cultivate deeper connections and a sense of belonging in our lives. Here are a few examples:

  • Build Meaningful Relationships: One of the most effective ways to fulfill our love and belonging needs is by building meaningful relationships with others. This involves actively seeking out friendships, nurturing existing relationships, and investing time and effort into connecting with others on a deeper level. By forming genuine bonds with people who share common interests or values, we create a support system that contributes to our overall well-being.
  • Express Empathy and Compassion: Showing empathy and compassion towards others is another powerful way to satisfy our need for love and belonging. Taking the time to understand someone else’s perspective, offering support during difficult times, or simply being there to listen can make a significant difference in fostering strong emotional connections. Acts of kindness not only benefit those around us but also contribute to our own sense of fulfillment.
  • Engage in Shared Activities: Participating in shared activities that bring people together can help fulfill our love and belonging needs as well. Whether it’s joining a sports team, attending community events, or taking part in group hobbies or volunteering opportunities, engaging in activities alongside like-minded individuals allows us to bond over shared experiences and interests.
  • Cultivate a Supportive Environment: Creating an environment that promotes love and belonging is essential for fulfilling these needs on both individual and collective levels. This could involve fostering open communication within families, workplaces, or social circles where everyone feels heard, valued, and supported. By encouraging inclusivity, and respect for diversity and creating spaces where individuals feel safe expressing themselves authentically, we can strengthen feelings of connection among all members.
  • Seek Professional Help if Needed: Sometimes fulfilling our love and belonging needs may require professional guidance or support from therapists, counselors, or support groups. These resources can provide a safe and confidential space to explore personal challenges, address emotional barriers, and develop strategies for building healthier relationships and a stronger sense of belonging.

Remember, fulfilling our love and belonging needs is an ongoing process that requires effort and intentionality. By incorporating these strategies into our lives, we can create a nurturing environment that fosters deeper connections with others and enhances our overall well-being.

Building Strong Connections with Others

When it comes to our love and belonging needs, building strong connections with others is essential. We humans are social beings wired for connection and companionship. Whether it’s our family, friends, or romantic partners, these relationships play a crucial role in our overall well-being and happiness.

Here are a few examples of how we can foster and nurture strong connections in our lives:

  • Cultivate Meaningful Friendships: Investing time and effort into building meaningful friendships can have a profound impact on our sense of belonging. Engage in activities that align with your interests and values to meet like-minded individuals. Take the initiative to reach out, plan get-togethers, or simply lend an ear when your friends need support.
  • Practice Active Listening: Effective communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship. One way to strengthen connections with others is by practicing active listening. Give your full attention when someone is speaking, maintain eye contact, and show genuine interest in their thoughts and feelings. This simple act can foster deeper understanding and empathy.
  • Show Appreciation: Expressing gratitude towards the people we care about reinforces the bond we share. Take moments to acknowledge the efforts made by your loved ones – a heartfelt thank you note, or a small gesture of appreciation can go a long way in nurturing strong connections.
  • Engage in Shared Activities: Participating in shared activities strengthens bonds by creating shared experiences and memories. Whether it’s going on hikes together, cooking meals as a group, or joining clubs centered around common interests – engaging in activities that bring joy to both parties helps forge deeper connections.
  • Utilize Technology for Connection: In today’s digital age, technology offers various ways to connect with others even when physical distance separates us. Utilize video calls, social media platforms, or online communities to stay connected with friends near and far.

Remember that building strong connections takes time and effort. It’s about investing in the relationships that matter to us and prioritizing connection as a fundamental part of our lives. By fostering these connections, we create a support system that enriches our lives and helps us navigate the ups and downs with greater resilience.

So, let’s take the initiative to build strong connections with others and experience the profound impact it can have on our love and belonging needs.

Creating a Sense of Belonging in Relationships

When it comes to relationships, one of the fundamental needs we all share is the desire for a sense of belonging. We yearn to feel connected, supported, and understood by our partners. Building this sense of belonging takes effort and intentionality from both parties involved. Here are a few examples of how you can foster a deeper sense of belonging in your relationships:

  • Foster Open Communication: Communication is key in any relationship, but it becomes even more crucial when it comes to creating a sense of belonging. Take the time to listen actively and express yourself honestly and openly with your partner. By doing so, you create an environment where both individuals feel heard and valued.
  • Cultivate Emotional Intimacy: Emotional intimacy forms the bedrock for a strong sense of belonging in relationships. Share your fears, dreams, and vulnerabilities with your partner, allowing them to do the same. By creating this safe space for emotional expression, you build trust and deepen your connection.
  • Engage in Shared Activities: Participating in activities together strengthens the bond between partners by fostering shared experiences and memories. Find common interests or hobbies that you both enjoy and make time for them regularly. Whether it’s cooking together, going on hikes or exploring new places, these shared moments create a stronger sense of belonging.
  • Show Appreciation: Expressing gratitude towards your partner not only enhances their self-esteem but also reinforces their importance in your life. Small gestures like saying “thank you,” leaving notes expressing appreciation, or simply complimenting their efforts can go a long way in making someone feel valued within the relationship.
  • Support Each Other’s Individuality: While building a strong bond is essential for belongingness, it’s equally important to respect each other’s individuality within the relationship. Encourage personal growth and support each other’s goals outside of the partnership as well.

Remember that building a sense of belonging takes time and effort from both partners. By implementing these examples into your relationship, you can create a deeper connection and foster a strong sense of belonging that nurtures both individuals involved.

The Role of Empathy in Meeting Love and Belonging Needs

Empathy plays a crucial role in meeting our love and belonging needs. When we talk about empathy, we refer to the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It is an essential aspect of human connection that helps foster a sense of belonging and deepens our relationships.

Here are a few examples that highlight how empathy contributes to meeting our love and belonging needs:

  • Building Strong Connections: Empathy allows us to truly listen and understand others’ experiences, perspectives, and emotions. By putting ourselves in someone else’s shoes, we can establish deeper connections with them. When someone feels genuinely heard and understood, it strengthens their sense of belonging within a relationship or community.
  • Creating Emotional Support: Expressing empathy involves showing compassion towards others during challenging times. Whether it’s offering a shoulder to lean on or providing words of comfort, being empathetic helps create emotional support systems for individuals seeking love and acceptance. Knowing that there are people who care about their well-being boosts feelings of belongingness.
  • Encouraging Acceptance: Empathy promotes acceptance by recognizing the diverse range of experiences and emotions people go through. Instead of judging or dismissing someone’s feelings, empathizing allows us to validate their emotions without judgment or criticism. This acceptance fosters an environment where individuals feel accepted for who they are, enhancing their sense of love and belonging.
  • Resolving Conflicts: In any relationship, conflicts may arise due to misunderstandings or differing opinions. Empathy enables us to approach these conflicts with understanding rather than defensiveness or aggression. By considering the other person’s perspective and acknowledging their emotions , we can find mutually beneficial resolutions that strengthen bonds rather than break them.
  • Supporting Personal Growth: When we offer empathy toward others’ struggles or challenges, it creates a safe space for personal growth. Feeling understood encourages individuals to open up about their insecurities and vulnerabilities, leading to personal development. This growth not only strengthens their sense of self-love but also fosters a greater connection with those around them.

Empathy is a powerful tool in meeting our love and belonging needs. By practicing empathy, we can cultivate meaningful connections, provide emotional support, encourage acceptance, resolve conflicts, and support personal growth. It’s an essential aspect of human interaction that nourishes the bonds we have with others and allows us to create communities where everyone feels valued and loved.

Overcoming Barriers to Love and Belonging

When it comes to love and belonging, there can often be barriers that hinder our ability to connect with others and form meaningful relationships. These barriers can stem from various sources, including personal insecurities, past experiences, societal norms, and cultural differences. However, with awareness and effort, we can overcome these obstacles and create a sense of love and belonging in our lives.

  • Self-doubt: One common barrier to experiencing love and belonging is self-doubt. When we doubt ourselves or feel unworthy of love, it becomes challenging to open up to others or believe that they genuinely care about us. Overcoming self-doubt requires building self-esteem through positive self-talk, practicing self-compassion, and surrounding ourselves with supportive individuals who uplift us.
  • Fear of rejection: The fear of rejection can hold us back from forming deep connections with others. We worry about being vulnerable or getting hurt emotionally. However, it’s important to remember that rejection is a natural part of life and doesn’t define our worthiness of love or belonging. By embracing vulnerability and taking small steps towards opening up, we can gradually overcome this fear .
  • Communication barriers: Effective communication plays a vital role in fostering love and belonging. Misunderstandings, lack of clarity, or poor listening skills can hinder the development of strong relationships. To overcome communication barriers, we need to actively listen to others without judgment or interruption, express ourselves honestly but respectfully, and seek clarification when needed.
  • Cultural differences: In a diverse world where people come from different backgrounds and cultures, understanding cultural differences is crucial for building bridges of connection rather than erecting walls of separation. By approaching others with curiosity instead of judgment and learning about their customs and beliefs with an open mind, we can foster a sense of inclusivity that promotes love and belonging for all.
  • Past traumas: Past traumas, such as heartbreak or betrayal, can create emotional barriers that make it challenging to trust and open up to others. Healing from past wounds is a journey that requires self-reflection, seeking professional help if needed, and surrounding ourselves with a supportive network of friends and family who provide a safe space for us to heal.

By acknowledging and addressing these barriers, we can work towards creating an environment of love and belonging in our lives. It’s important to remember that overcoming these obstacles takes time and patience. As we navigate this journey, let’s be kind to ourselves and embrace the connections that bring joy, fulfillment, and a sense of belonging into our lives.

Finding Balance in Meeting Love and Belonging Needs

In this section, I’ll be discussing the importance of finding balance in meeting our love and belonging needs. It’s no secret that humans are social creatures wired to seek connection with others. But when it comes to fulfilling our need for love and belonging, striking a healthy balance is key.

Here are a few examples of how we can find that equilibrium:

  • Cultivating Self-Love: Before we can truly connect with others, it’s essential to develop a strong sense of self-love and acceptance. By practicing self-care, setting boundaries, and nurturing our own well-being, we lay the foundation for healthy relationships built on mutual respect.
  • Building Meaningful Connections: While it’s important to have a supportive network of friends and loved ones, quality over quantity matters here. Focus on fostering genuine connections with individuals who share your values and support your personal growth.
  • Embracing Vulnerability: Opening ourselves up emotionally can be daunting, but allowing ourselves to be vulnerable is crucial for building deeper connections. By sharing our fears, dreams, and struggles with trusted individuals, we create an environment of trust and understanding.
  • Balancing Independence and Interdependence: While being part of a loving community brings joy and fulfillment, maintaining a sense of individuality is equally vital. Strive for interdependence rather than complete dependence on others; this allows you to maintain your autonomy while still enjoying the benefits of connectedness.
  • Communicating Needs Effectively: Effective communication is at the core of any healthy relationship . Expressing your needs openly while actively listening to others’ concerns fosters understanding and strengthens emotional bonds.

Remember that finding balance in meeting love and belonging needs is an ongoing process—one that requires self-reflection, adaptability, and open-mindedness. By prioritizing your well-being while nurturing meaningful connections with others, you pave the way for a fulfilling life rich in love and belonging.

I hope these insights help you navigate the complex realm of meeting love and belonging needs. By finding balance, embracing vulnerability, and cultivating meaningful connections, we can create a life where love and belonging thrive.

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Hierarchy of needs: Human Love and Belongingness explained by Abraham Maslow

  • by Psychologs Magazine
  • February 21, 2024
  • 6 minutes read

Abraham Maslow

Maslow suggested that human wants might be arranged in a ordering to help us understand what drives people. This ranking goes from further introductory demands like food and water to further profound ideas like self- fulfillment. Maslow states that our attention shifts to the succeeding need on the scale when a lower need is satisfied. Maslow maintained that before a person can satisfy their advanced wants, their survival conditions must be met. Because of the environmental and interpersonal challenges that necessarily irritate us, meeting the conditions linked with a advanced position of the scale is more demanding. Let’s explore the profound concept of Human Love and Belongingness within the Hierarchy of Needs, as elucidated by Abraham Maslow.

Decreasingly, higher conditions are psychological and long- term in nature as opposed to physiological and immediate, as are lower requirements related to survival. Maslow classified human requirements into five orders self- actualization, esteem, love, safety, and physiological. Even if more recent studies put doubt on some aspects of Maslow’s theory, his work has influenced other psychologists and advanced the area of positive psychology. Also Read: Psychology Behind Emotional Needs

Physiological Needs

The demands for survival are included in the physiological requirements. Physiological requirements include effects like food and water. The Inhalation and homeostasis physiological demands include clothes and shelter in addition to the essential necessities of food, air, and temperature regulation. Since sexual reproduction is vital to the survival and spread of the species, Maslow also put it in this level of the ordering.

Security and safety

A little increase in complexity is seen in the requirements at the second level of Maslow’s scale. At this point, safety and security conditions take priority. People desire order and control in their life. Among the fundamental conditions for safety and security are:

  • Structural stability
  • Well- being and health
  • Security from mishaps and harm

Actions driven by security and safety demands include looking for work, getting health insurance and receiving medical care, funding a savings account, and relocating to a safer area.

Social needs

Maslow’s scale of conditions lists love, acceptance, and belonging as social requirements. mortal conduct is driven at this position by the need for emotional connections. Among the particulars that fulfill this demand are:

  • Bonds with friends
  • Attachments that are romantic
  • ties within the family
  • Community and social clubs;
  • Churches and other places of worship;

People need to feel loved and accepted by others in order to help loneliness, sadness, and anxiety. Particular relations with family, friends, and lovers are vital, as is participation in groups, including book clubs, sports teams, religious associations, and other social gathering places.

Also Read: The Reasons Why Psychiatry Needs Anthropologists

Self- Esteem needs

Maslow’s scale places the desire for regard and respect at position four. As soon as the demands at the smallest three situations are met, the regard needs take center stage in driving behavior. At this point, winning other people’s a love and respect becomes more vital. People have a need to accomplish goals and also be acknowledged for their efforts. Esteem needs encompass effects like tone- worth and self- esteem in addition to the need for passions of achievement and status.

Individualities need to feel that they’re contributing to society and that other people value them. Fulfilling the esteem needs can involve engaging in professional conditioning, achieving academic goals, sharing in sports or teams, and engaging in particular interests. Individuals who are suitable to meet their conditions for regard by being recognized by others and feeling good about themselves generally have a strong sense of self- worth. On the other hand, low self- esteem and a lack of respect from others can lead to passions of inferiority.

Self- actualization needs

Maslow’s scale places the requirements for self- actualization at the top. People who are self- actualizing are self-aware, concentrated on their own development, indifferent to other people’s opinions, and eager to reach their full potential.

“ What a man can be, he must be, ” Maslow said, developing on the human drive to realize one’s topmost potential. When it comes to self- actualization, Maslow stated that it can be broadly defined as making the utmost of one’s capacities, potential, and other means. These individualities appear to be living their lives to the fullest and making the utmost of their capacities. These individualities have reached their maximum eventuality and continue to do so.

Also Read: Facilitating the Needs of Persons With Disabilities

Progressing Through the Pyramid of requirements

Pyramids are a common way to represent Maslow’s scale of conditions. The most fundamental conditions are set up at the base of the need aggregate, while the most complicated demands are set up at the peak.

People can do to the coming position of demands once their lower- position wants have been satisfied. Psychological and social requirements increase as people go up the aggregate.

The need for self- worth and a sense of achievement is ranked topmost on the pyramid. Similar to Carl Rogers, Maslow placed a strong emphasis on the concept of self- actualization — the process of evolving personally in order to realize one’s own eventuality.

Different Types of requirements

Deficiency requirements and growth conditions are the two orders into which Maslow’s scale of requirements can be divided.

  • Deficiency requirements are the conditions that affect from deprivation and include physiological, security, social, and regard requirements. It’s critical to satisfy these baser wants in order to help negative feelings or issues.
  • Maslow referred to the wants at the apex of the aggregate as “ growth requirements. ” These wants are a result of a desire to develop personally rather than a lack of anything.

Also Read: Optimism and Resilience In Parents Of Children With Special Needs

Impact of Maslow’s Hierarchy

Despite these objections, Maslow’s scale of requirements was a crucial element of a significant psychological revolution. Maslow’s humanistic psychology placed further emphasis on the development of healthy individualities than it did on deviant behavior and growth.

Although there is n’t important evidence to back up Maslow’s theory, the scale of requirements is extensively accepted in and outside of psychology. And University of Illinois experimenters set out to test this order in a 2011 study that was published.

These findings imply that, despite their potential to be strong behavioral motivators, these requirements may not always adopt the hierarchical structure that Maslow originally proposed.

Criticisms of Maslow’s Theory

Maslow’s hypothesis has gained enormous traction in and outside of psychology. The theory has had a significant impact on the domains of business and education. Maslow’s theory has not, however, been exempt from criticism. The main persistent objections are:

  • Necessities are not ranked: Although a small amount of research has supported Maslow’s hypotheses, the majority of studies has not been able to provide evidence for the existence of a needs hierarchy.
  • The hypothesis is challenging to test: According to some opponents of Maslow’s theory, it is challenging to conduct a scientific test of his notion of self-actualization. Six Additionally, Maslow’s research on self-actualization was based on a relatively small sample of people, which included both people he knew personally and biographies of well-known persons who he felt to be self-actualized.

Hopper, E. (2020, February 24). Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs Explained. ThoughtCo. https://www.thoughtco.com/maslows-hierarchy-of-needs-4582571#:~:text=According%20to%20Maslow%2C%20we%20have,sufficiently%20satisfied%20the%20previous%20need Mcleod, S., PhD. (2024). Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Simply Psychology. https://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html MSEd, K. C. (2022, August 14). Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-maslows-hierarchy-of-needs-4136760

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How to Increase Your Sense of Belonging

Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

love and belonging essay

Sean is a fact-checker and researcher with experience in sociology, field research, and data analytics.

love and belonging essay

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Sense of Belonging in Action

Effect of the sense of belonging, increase your sense of belonging.

The sense of belongingness, also known as the need to belong, refers to a human emotional need to affiliate with and be accepted by members of a group. Examples of this may include the need to belong to a peer group at school, to be accepted by co-workers, to be part of an athletic team, or to be part of a religious group.

What do we mean by the sense of belonging? A sense of belonging involves more than simply being acquainted with other people. It is centered on gaining acceptance, attention, and support from members of the group as well as providing the same attention to other members.

The need to belong to a group also can lead to changes in behaviors, beliefs, and attitudes as people strive to conform to the standards and norms of the group.

In social psychology , the need to belong is an intrinsic motivation to affiliate with others and be socially accepted. This need plays a role in a number of social phenomena such as self-presentation and social comparison .

What inspires people to seek out specific groups? In many cases, the need to belong to certain social groups results from sharing some point of commonality. For example, teens who share the same taste in clothing, music, and other interests might seek each other out to form friendships. Other factors that can lead individuals to seek out groups include:

  • Pop culture interests
  • Religious beliefs
  • Shared goals
  • Socioeconomic status

People often present themselves in a particular way in order to belong to a specific social group. For example, a new member of a high school sports team might adopt the dress and mannerisms of the other members of the team in order to fit in with the rest of the group.

People also spend a great deal of time comparing themselves to other members of the group in order to determine how well they fit in. This social comparison might lead an individual to adopt some of the same behaviors and attitudes of the most prominent members of the group in order to conform and gain greater acceptance.

Our need to belong is what drives us to seek out stable, long-lasting relationships with other people. It also motivates us to participate in social activities such as clubs, sports teams, religious groups, and community organizations.

In Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of needs , the sense of belongingness is part of one of his major needs that motivate human behavior. The hierarchy is usually portrayed as a pyramid, with more basic needs at the base and more complex needs near the peak. The need for love and belonging lie at the center of the pyramid as part of social needs.

By belonging to a group, we feel as if we are a part of something bigger and more important than ourselves.

While Maslow suggested that these needs were less important than physiological and safety needs, he believed that the need for belonging helped people to experience companionship and acceptance through family, friends, and other relationships.

A 2020 study on college students found a positive link between a sense of belonging and greater happiness and overall well-being, as well as an overall reduction in mental health outcomes including:

  • Hopelessness
  • Social anxiety
  • Suicidal thoughts

How do we create a sense of belonging? There are steps you (or a loved one who is struggling) can take to increase the sense of belonging.

  • Make an effort : Creating a sense of belonging takes effort, to put yourself out there, seek out activities and groups of people with whom you have common interests, and engage with others.  
  • Be patient : It might take time to gain acceptance, attention, and support from members of the group.
  • Practice acceptance : Focus on the similarities, not the differences, that connects you to others, and remain open to new ways of thinking.

A Word From Verywell

A sense of belonging is a crucial for good physical and mental health. If you continue to struggle with loneliness or the sense of not fitting in, talk to your doctor or mental health professional. They can help you to identify the root of your feelings and provide strategies for achieving belongingness.

Schneider ML, Kwan BM. Psychological need satisfaction, intrinsic motivation and affective response to exercise in adolescents .  Psychol Sport Exerc . 2013;14(5):776–785. doi:10.1016/j.psychsport.2013.04.005

Pillow DR, Malone GP, Hale WJ. The need to belong and its association with fully satisfying relationships: A tale of two measures . Pers Individ Dif . 2015;74:259-264. doi:10.1016/j.paid.2014.10.031

Kenrick DT, Griskevicius V, Neuberg SL, Schaller M. Renovating the pyramid of needs: Contemporary extensions built upon ancient foundations .  Perspect Psychol Sci . 2010;5(3):292–314. doi:10.1177/1745691610369469

Moeller RW, Seehuus M, Peisch V. Emotional intelligence, belongingness, and mental health in college students .  Front Psychol . 2020;11:93. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2020.00093

Fisher LB, Overholser JC, Ridley J, Braden A, Rosoff C. From the outside looking in: sense of belonging, depression, and suicide risk .  Psychiatry . 2015;78(1):29-41. doi: 10.1080/00332747.2015.1015867

By Kendra Cherry, MSEd Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs Explained

  • Archaeology
  • Ph.D., Psychology, University of California - Santa Barbara
  • B.A., Psychology and Peace & Conflict Studies, University of California - Berkeley

Maslow's hierarchy of needs is a theory by Abraham Maslow , which puts forward that people are motivated by five basic categories of needs: physiological, safety, love, esteem, and self-actualization.

Key Takeaways: Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

  • According to Maslow, we have five categories of needs: physiological, safety, love, esteem, and self-actualization.
  • In this theory, higher needs in the hierarchy begin to emerge when people feel they have sufficiently satisfied the previous need.
  • Although later research does not fully support all of Maslow’s theory, his research has impacted other psychologists and contributed to the field of positive psychology.

What Is Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs?

In order to better understand what motivates human beings, Maslow proposed that human needs can be organized into a hierarchy. This hierarchy ranges from more concrete needs such as food and water to abstract concepts such as self-fulfillment. According to Maslow, when a lower need is met, the next need on the hierarchy becomes our focus of attention.

These are the five categories of needs according to Maslow:

Physiological

These refer to basic physical needs like drinking when thirsty or eating when hungry. According to Maslow, some of these needs involve our efforts to meet the body’s need for homeostasis ; that is, maintaining consistent levels in different bodily systems (for example, maintaining a body temperature of 98.6°).

Maslow considered physiological needs to be the most essential of our needs. If someone is lacking in more than one need, they’re likely to try to meet these physiological needs first. For example, if someone is extremely hungry, it’s hard to focus on anything else besides food. Another example of a physiological need would be the need for adequate sleep.

Once people’s physiological requirements are met, the next need that arises is a safe environment. Our safety needs are apparent even early in childhood, as children have a need for safe and predictable environments and typically react with fear or anxiety when these are not met. Maslow pointed out that in adults living in developed nations, safety needs are more apparent in emergency situations (e.g. war and disasters), but this need can also explain why we tend to  prefer the familiar  or why we do things like purchase insurance and contribute to a savings account.

Love and Belonging

According to Maslow, the next need in the hierarchy involves feeling loved and accepted. This need includes both romantic relationships as well as ties to friends and family members. It also includes our need to feel that we belong to a social group. Importantly, this need encompasses both feeling loved  and  feeling love towards others.

Since Maslow’s time, researchers have continued to explore how love and belonging needs impact well-being. For example, having social connections is related to better physical health and, conversely, feeling isolated (i.e. having unmet belonging needs) has negative consequences for health and well-being.  

Our esteem needs involve the desire to feel good about ourselves. According to Maslow, esteem needs include two components. The first involves feeling self-confidence and feeling good about oneself. The second component involves feeling valued by others; that is, feeling that our achievements and contributions have been recognized by other people. When people’s esteem needs are met, they feel confident and see their contributions and achievements as valuable and important. However, when their esteem needs are not met, they may experience what psychologist Alfred Adler called “feelings of inferiority.”

Self-Actualization

Self-actualization refers to feeling fulfilled, or feeling that we are living up to our potential. One unique feature of self-actualization is that it looks different for everyone. For one person, self-actualization might involve helping others; for another person, it might involve achievements in an artistic or creative field. Essentially, self-actualization means feeling that we are doing what we believe we are meant to do. According to Maslow, achieving self-actualization is relatively rare , and his examples of famous self-actualized individuals include Abraham Lincoln , Albert Einstein , and Mother Teresa .

How People Progress Through the Hierarchy of Needs

Maslow postulated that there were several prerequisites to meeting these needs. For example, having freedom of speech and freedom of expression or living in a just and fair society aren’t specifically mentioned within the hierarchy of needs, but Maslow believed that having these things makes it easier for people to achieve their needs.

In addition to these needs, Maslow also believed that we have a need to learn new information and to better understand the world around us. This is partially because learning more about our environment helps us meet our other needs; for example, learning more about the world can help us feel safer, and developing a better understanding of a topic one is passionate about can contribute to self-actualization. However, Maslow also believed that this call to understand the world around us is an innate need as well.

Although Maslow presented his needs in a hierarchy, he also acknowledged that meeting each need is not an all-or-nothing phenomenon. Consequently, people don’t need to completely satisfy one need in order for the next need in the hierarchy to emerge. Maslow suggests that, at any given time, most people tend to have each of their needs partly met—and that needs lower on the hierarchy are typically the ones that people have made the most progress towards.

Additionally, Maslow pointed out that one behavior might meet two or more needs. For example, sharing a meal with someone meets the physiological need for food, but it might also meet the need of belonging. Similarly, working as a paid caregiver would provide someone with income (which allows them to pay for food and shelter), but can also provide them a sense of social connection and fulfillment.

Testing Maslow’s Theory

In the time since Maslow published his original paper, his idea that we go through five specific stages hasn’t always been supported by research . In a 2011 study of human needs across cultures, researchers Louis Tay and Ed Diener looked at data from over 60,000 participants in over 120 different countries. They assessed six needs similar to Maslow’s: basic needs (similar to physiological needs), safety, love, pride and respect (similar to esteem needs), mastery, and autonomy. They found that meeting these needs was indeed linked to well-being. In particular, having basic needs met was linked to people’s overall assessment of their lives, and feeling positive emotions was linked to meeting the needs of feeling loved and respected.  

However, although Tay and Diener found support for some of Maslow’s basic needs, the order that people go through these steps seems to be more of a rough guide than a strict rule. For example, people living in poverty might have had trouble meeting their needs for food and safety, but these individuals still sometimes reported feeling loved and supported by the people around them. Meeting the previous needs in the hierarchy wasn’t always a prerequisite for people to meet their love and belonging needs.

Maslow’s Impact on Other Researchers

Maslow’s theory has had a strong influence on other researchers, who have sought to build on his theory. For example, psychologists Carol Ryff and Burton Singer drew on Maslow’s theories when developing their theory of eudaimonic well-being . According to Ryff and Singer, eudaimonic well-being refers to feeling purpose and meaning—which is similar to Maslow’s idea of self-actualization.  

Psychologists Roy Baumeister and Mark Leary built on Maslow’s idea of love and belonging needs. According to Baumeister and Leary, feeling that one belongs is a fundamental need, and they suggest that feeling isolated or left out can have negative consequences for mental and physical health.  

Additional References

  • Baumeister, Roy F., and Mark R. Leary. “The Need to Belong: Desire for Interpersonal Attachments as a Fundamental Human Motivation.” Psychological Bulletin 117.3 (1995): 97-529. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/7777651
  • Kremer, William, and Claudia Hammond. “Abraham Maslow and the Pyramid That Beguiled Business.” BBC (2013, Sep. 1). https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-23902918
  • Maslow, Abraham Harold. “A Theory of Human Motivation.” Psychological Review 50.4 (1943): 370-396. http://psycnet.apa.org/record/1943-03751-001
  • Ryff, Carol D., and Burton H. Singer. “Know Thyself and Become What You Are: A Eudaimonic Approach to Psychological Well-Being.” Journal of Happiness Studies 9.1 (2008): 13-39. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10902-006-9019-0
  • Tay, Louis, and Ed Diener. “Needs and Subjective Well-Being Around the World.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 101.2 (2011): 354-365. http://psycnet.apa.org/record/2011-12249-001
  • Villarica, Hans. “Maslow 2.0: A New and Improved Recipe for Happiness.” The Atlantic (2011, Aug. 17). https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2011/08/maslow-20-a-new-and-improved-recipe-for-happiness/243486/

Modell, Harold, et al. " A Physiologist's View of Homeostasis ." Advances in Physiology Education , vol. 39, no. 4, 1 Dec. 2015, doi:10.1152/advan.00107.2015

Holt-Lunstad, Julianne, et al. " Social Relationships and Mortality Risk: A Meta-analytic Review ." Public Library of Science | Medicine , 27 July 2010, doi:10.1371/journal.pmed.1000316

Tay, Louis, and Ed Deiner. " Needs and Subjective Well-Being Around the World ." Journal of Personality and Social Psychology , vol. 101, no. 2, 2011, pp. 354-365., doi:10.1037/a0023779

Ryff, Carol D. " Eudaimonic Well-Being, Inequality, and Health: Recent Findings and Future Directions ." International Review of Economics, vol. 64, no. 2, 30 Mar. 2017, pp. 159-178., doi:10.1007/s12232-017-0277-4

Pillow, David R., et al. " The Need to Belong and Its Association With Fully Satisfying Relationships: A Tale of Two Measures ." Personality and Individual Differences , vol. 74, Feb. 2015, pp. 259-264., doi:10.1016/j.paid.2014.10.031

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Satisfy Your Love And Belonging Needs

Many individuals find themselves desiring to feel loved and wanted by those in their life. This desire might be part of what psychologists call " love and belonging needs ." Studies show that social connection is essential for mental and physical well-being, and feeling cared for by those in your life can be a part of social connection.

Why people need love

Compared to most other animals, humans can take more time to mature . During the formative years, we depend on our parents or caregivers to meet our survival needs. Survival needs can include food, shelter, water, sleep, and oxygen. At the end of adolescence, we might start learning to care for our own survival needs. However, caregivers might still support us into early adulthood. 

A safe and healthy caregiver works to keep a child safe. Safety needs are considered the most basic needs, and if they are not met, it may be difficult for someone to reach self-actualization—the result of consistent and stable personal growth.  Abraham Maslow  created a theory of human motivation structured into a hierarchy of needs to discuss this principle. Maslow's hierarchy of needs has been  further debated and tested  in modern social psychology, and many psychologists agree that love and belonging are on the pyramid somewhere.  

The  Psychological Bulletin  claims that love and belonging needs are essential in human motivation. Many scientists believe that these needs arose through the evolutionary process. You may bond with the person who takes care of you to survive. Even as a baby, you might behave in ways that encourage their support and prompt care. 

As you grow, love and belonging can still feel essential. You might cherish your friendships, love your partner, and enjoy spending time with others. Even after you become an adult and can take care of yourself, these needs can continue because they are part of being human. If your caregiver did not meet some of your needs as a child, you might have  an insecure attachment style  as an adult. 

What happens when love and belonging needs aren't met? 

In some cases, infant, teen, and children's needs are not met by their caregivers. A parent might fail to show physical affection, love, or emotional support in these cases. They may abandon or physically abuse their child.*

*Disclaimer: If you are facing or witnessing abuse of any kind, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24/7 for support. Call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or text "START" to 88788. You can also use the online chat . 

As children age, challenges with social connection might arise. Their peers may reject them at school. A parent or teacher may fail to give them the emotional support they need to feel loved, accepted, and valued. Their performance in school might suffer from not feeling safe at home. A child's needs not being met can also have mental health consequences. For example, an unhealthy family environment can cause a higher risk for depression and other mental health conditions. 

Adults may feel this rejection later in life from their social circle. They might struggle to make friends, have difficulty trusting others, or feel lonely if they do not have contact with their caregivers. In some cases, they may try to reach out to their caregivers for love and be treated similarly to when they were children. 

The results of not having your needs met can vary. Maslow noted that if these social needs were not met, it could lead to illness, especially psychiatric disorders like depression and anxiety. Studies confirm this, as a lack of social connection is correlated with physical health risks.

Benefits of satisfying love and belonging needs

When your basic needs are met, you may avoid risks of mental health concerns or health problems. However, unmet needs are not the only factors in these conditions. Additionally, you may feel less alone and happier and know you have support behind you. Because you have strong connections, meeting your other needs might feel more accessible. Other benefits of support can include: 

  • Feeling loved 
  • Confidence 
  • Ease completing chores and daily tasks
  • A sense of safety 

Where to find love and belonging

Love and belonging can come from many sources. People may meet these needs through: 

  • Friendships
  • Family time
  • Social activities
  • Romantic relationships
  • Community activities, projects, and events

If your needs aren't met, consider the following ways of increasing love and belonging in your life. 

Build friendships

Meeting people can feel challenging for many individuals, especially if they faced hardships in early-life relationships. Additionally, work, school, and other responsibilities might get in the way of finding new friends as an adult. Here are a few ways you can try to do so: 

  • Volunteer on your off time 
  • Join a social cause 
  • Join a non-profit 
  • Go to an event, such as pride, the fair, or a renaissance event 
  • Try a group activity like e-sports, sports, or LARPing 
  • Join online groups 
  • Find a pen pal 
  • Go to a local meetup 
  • Go to a local bar event 
  • Enroll in university and join a university club 
  • Join a music group like a choir 
  • Join a tabletop gaming campaign 

Nurture romantic relationships

If you're in a romantic relationship and feel your needs haven't been met, consider discussing this with your partner. You might decide to take a love languages test together to learn more about how each of you shows and receives love. 

Expand your social sphere

When you don't feel love and belonging, you might feel stuck with the friends or people in your life currently. It may be beneficial to try to make new types of friends outside of your current circle. 

Spend time with family

Life may get busy, and you might not spend much time with family. Try to spend time with your immediate, extended, or chosen family when you can. Sit down for meals with your household, attend family reunions, and try to get to know your family more profoundly. If your immediate family has been unhealthy for you, you might consider your friends or extended relatives as part of your chosen family. 

Get involved in your community

By getting involved with your community, you might make new friends, help others who live near you and learn about social causes. Consider joining a volunteer organization or helping a non-profit set up for an event. 

Volunteering could be a meaningful way to find acceptance, love, and belonging within your community. Many people volunteer at hospitals, nursing homes, orphanages, or mental health centers. Additionally, studies show that helping others could help you feel better.

Take a class

Classes can be fun and rewarding. Choose any class that appeals to you, whether it's an academic subject, like psychological science, a creative course, or a fitness class. While there, you can meet other people interested in the subject that caught your eye. 

Join a sports team

Being on a sports team may allow you to work with other people while enjoying exercise, which has mental and physical health benefits. 

Talk to a counselor

Despite the methods of meeting love and belonging needs, many people may struggle to do so. Past adverse experiences, difficulty socializing, anxiety, or difficulty trusting others can cause rifts. Additionally, some individuals might struggle to make friends due to bullying, disabilities, or being "different." In these cases, it might be beneficial to talk to a counselor. 

In a study published in the Journal of Medical Internet Research, the  effects of online cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) when treating individuals experiencing depression and anxiety found significant positive results post-treatment. Cognitive-behavioral therapy, whether online or in-person, can work by helping individuals reframe any negative thought patterns that may be underlying unwanted emotions.

If you find socializing with a therapist a scary or difficult concept, you might benefit from the option of live chat sessions with a licensed therapist. You can also choose between phone or video chat sessions if they feel more comfortable. If you're interested in trying online therapy, consider signing up for a platform like BetterHelp for individuals or Regain for couples.  

Commonly asked questions

Below are a few commonly asked questions on love and belonging. 

What are Maslow's love and belonging needs?

Love and belonging are the third level of Maslow's pyramid and are considered social needs. All of the needs Maslow's theory encompasses are thought to be necessary for humans to reach their potential and feel safe. 

What is belonging and love?

Belonging is best described as a feeling that you are part of a group of people or making a difference in your social circle. Love is a  chemical reaction  and emotion that causes positive sensations, happiness, and a desire to be close to others. 

Are love and belonging essential? 

Love and belonging are social needs since they may improve your well-being and involve others. According to the  Encyclopedia of Personality and Individual Differences , if these needs are not met, it could lead to mental health issues.

Why is love a social need?

Love is a social need because love is usually experienced toward others. Intimacy, love and affection generally occur between you and people close to you, such as friends, children, and family. You may also feel self-love, which can be a different form of love. 

How do you meet your needs for love and belonging? 

Meeting your social needs can involve having healthy relationships and connections with others, whether they are friends, family, or romantic partners. 

What are the five basic needs?

According to Maslow's hierarchy of needs, the five basic needs are:

  • Physiological needs  
  • Love and belonging 
  • Self-actualization

What are love and belonging needs Maslow?

Love and belonging are the third level of Maslow’s Theory and are considered social needs. All of the needs Maslow’s hierarchy covers are thought to be necessary for humans to reach their potential.

Why are love and belonging needs important?

You can get a sense of love and feel safe in a group. Love and belonging are considered social needs and are the third-level needs in Maslow’s hierarchy.

What are belonging and love?

According to the theory of Maslow’s hierarchy, you must have belonging and love before reaching self-actualization.

Is love and belonging a social need?

Love and belonging are social needs since they may improve your well-being and involve others. This includes all types of love. According to the Encyclopedia of Personality and Individual Differences , if these needs are not met, it could lead to mental health issues.

Love is a social need because love is usually experienced by a minimum of two people. When you have love, intimacy, and affection, this generally occurs between you and people close to you, such as friends, your children, and your family.

Which of the following describes the need for belonging, love, and affection?

The need for love and belonging is thought to be a fundamental human motivation. It is the third need in Maslow’s hierarchy.

What type of need is love?

Love and belonging needs are the third level of Maslow’s hierarchy, and according to this theory, they are considered social needs. They are also sometimes called physiological needs since they can affect human behavior and personality.

How do you meet your needs for love and connection?

To meet the love needs Maslow’s hierarchy describes, you must have relationships with others. Examples include being able to feel close to another human or like they accept you as you are.

What creates a sense of belonging?

Being able to fit into a group and are treated fairly can create a sense of belonging.

According to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, the five basic needs are physiological, safety, love and belonging, esteem, and self-actualization.

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Doubling Down on Love

Doubling Down on Love

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence. Erich Fromm

I’ve been offline and in struggle since the shootings in El Paso and Dayton. At first I thought it was a combination of physical and spiritual exhaustion, or maybe low-grade cultural despair with a side of burnout. I tried to combat the strange sense of emptiness with more work and more grind. This solution came to a grinding halt when I fell off my favorite pair of platform shoes. I was walking out of Charlie’s school when I hit an uneven patch of concrete. I turned my ankle, and the top strap of my shoe wrenched my foot and broke three of my toes. For the record, I put the breaking of toes at a 9 out of 10 on the pain scale. Holy shit. Nothing puts a stop to running hard as a distraction like an inflatable boot and crutches.

I can be ornery when I’m hurt or sick, so the combination of not being able to work out or spend too much time on my feet exacerbated the emptiness. After three weeks of feeling untethered and increasingly hollowed-out, I realized something more serious was happening than the usual exhaustion or burnout. I couldn’t access hope or possibility. I poisoned every good thing with thoughts of potentially horrible things. I didn’t want to let my family out of my sight, but I didn’t feel like I had much of myself to offer them even when they were within arm’s reach.

One night, I sat straight up in my bed at 4 a.m., strapped on my boot, pumped it up, and hopped on one foot to the top of the stairs. Too hurried to navigate down on my crutches, I sat and scooted down the stairs on my butt—like my brother and sisters and I did when we were little. Using one hand to brace myself against the wall, I hopped into my study and grabbed bell hooks’ book All About Love.

Could the problem be lovelessness? Was the lovelessness in the world seeping into my life?

I went straight for the passages that I had highlighted and tagged over the years. By the time the sun came up, I understood what was happening.

All About Love by bell hooks book image

Yes, the world is suffering from traumatic levels of lovelessness right now, but what really brought me to my knees these past few months was how susceptible I was to perpetuating lovelessness in my own response to our collective pain. As I started to untangle everything I was feeling, I realized that over the past few months, I had unknowingly turned away from love—the only fuel source that really works for me. Instead of being fueled by love, I unconsciously had turned to fear, contempt, self-righteousness, and maybe a touch of high-octane disdain to navigate hard news and hard people.

I’ve learned the most about love and lovelessness from bell hooks. I’ve been reading her work for the past 25 years. Her books Teaching to Transgress and All About Love expanded my teaching and activism so much that I often say that her work is responsible for 90% of the stretch marks on my heart and my mind.

In All About Love , hooks writes,

Taught to believe that the mind, not the heart, is the seat of learning, many of us believe that to speak of love with any emotional intensity means we will be perceived as weak and irrational. And it is especially hard to speak of love when what we have to say calls attention to the fact that lovelessness is more common than love, that many of us are not sure what we mean when we talk of love or how to express love. Everyone wants to know more about love. We want to know what it means to love, what we can do in our everyday lives to love and be loved. We want to know how to seduce those among us who remain wedded to lovelessness and open the door to their hearts to let love enter. The strength of our desire does not change the power of our cultural uncertainty. Everywhere we learn that love is important, and yet we are bombarded by its failure. In the realm of the political, among the religious, in our families, and in our romantic lives, we see little indication that love informs decisions, strengthens our understanding of community, or keeps us together. This bleak picture in no way alters the nature of our longing. We still hope that love will prevail. We still believe in love’s promise.

I don’t claim to know what fuel works best for everyone, but what I know for sure is that I believe in love’s promise and I run best on love. For me, love is sustainable, renewable, and it burns clean. That doesn’t mean I don’t get angry. Anger is a soul-sucking lifetime companion, but it’s also a great catalyst for two of the grittiest, truest forms of love: justice and equity.

Cultures of Domination

hooks explains that we can only awaken to love if we let go of our obsession with power and domination. While All About Love was written in 2000, her observations about domination, white supremacy, the patriarchy, and power offer important insight into what we’re experiencing right now.

She explains that people who are willing to speak out against injustice are not smarter or kinder than their neighbors, but are “willing to live the truth of their values.” hooks shares this example:

If you go door to door in our nation and talk to citizens about domestic violence, almost everyone will insist that they do not support male violence against women, that they believe it to be morally and ethically wrong. However, if you then explain that we can only end male violence against women by challenging patriarchy, and that means no longer accepting the notion that men should have more rights and privileges than women because of biological difference or that men should have the power to rule over women, that is when the agreement stops. There is a gap between the values they claim to hold and their willingness to do the work of connecting thought and action, theory and practice to realize these values and thus create a more just society.

When we have a president who repeatedly uses language and rhetoric to dehumanize immigrants (including some of the exact language used by the shooter in El Paso), and a gun lobby that uses racism, nationalism, and fear to recruit and maintain members rather than advocates for safe and responsible gun ownership, what do we expect is going to happen? Lovelessness in words becomes lovelessness in deeds. This is a culture of domination at work.

The shooter in Ohio had a “rape list.” We know from a growing number of studies that there is a strong connection between mass-shooting incidents and violence against women. Again, lovelessness and domination.

For me, the short, well-lit, well-worn, path from theory to action—from words to deeds—seemed so clear that all I could feel was hate and rage toward not just the perpetrators of the shootings and the inciters and normalizers of violence, but everyone around me who didn’t see the connections and weren’t sufficiently outraged.

Without love as the driver, my rage and contempt didn’t fuel action or serve as a catalyst. They killed my hope and resolve. Some days, my lovelessness just pulled the covers over my head, and other days it dressed me up in a “Death to Extremists” T-shirt and sent me into the world.

Erich Fromm writes, “There is perhaps no phenomenon which contains so much destructive feeling as ‘moral indignation,’ which permits envy or hate to be acted out under the guise of virtue.” Ouch.

A Love Ethic

Individuals who choose to love can and do alter our lives in ways that honor the primacy of a love ethic. We do this by choosing to work with individuals we admire and respect; by committing to give our all to relationships; by embracing a global vision wherein we see our lives and our fate as intimately connected to those of everyone else on the planet. Commitment to a love ethic transforms our lives by offering us a different set of values to live by. In large and small ways, we make choices based on a belief that honesty, openness, and personal integrity need to be expressed in public and private decisions. bell hooks

I’ve lived by a love ethic my entire life, and I want to double down on love again. Right now. I want to nurture and protect love and kindness in myself and in others. The doubling down is going to require some changes in my life. I’m going to start with these:

  • I’m not afraid to have hard conversations or face pain, but I can be skittish when it comes to inviting joy and grace into my life. Joy fuels love. Grace allows me to reflect. I need to find a way to open that door more often. Even when it feels so vulnerable.
  • Even though there are a million things that need to change, we all need to rest sometimes—even when there’s still a shit ton of work to do. Burnout drives lovelessness.
  • For me, self-love is making and taking the time to create. I can’t live a love ethic if I’m not researching and writing and thinking. Creativity is who I am and how I’m wired.
  • When the world feels tough and disconnected, I need to sink into the softness and connection of my family and friends. Family is my love ethic. Sometimes, my go-to is to try to get tougher and even more disconnected than the world so I can fight back. It doesn’t work, and it actually feeds that domination paradigm.
  • I need to make sure my anger is a catalyst born of love, not justification for causing pain when I’m in pain.
  • I want to co-create a love ethic in our organization and in our facilitator communities—an ethic that informs how we show up with each other, serve the work, and cultivate belonging. Lovelessness corrodes organizational culture. We need love wherever there are humans—that means at work too.
  • I need deeper, more meaningful spiritual connection. I need to rekindle things with God in some way that makes sense for me. Maybe I’ll take a run at meditation again, or renew my Daily Examen habit. P.S. I don’t think you’re supposed to “take a run at meditating.” but you know what I mean.
  • I’m going to live into my values and stand up for what I believe in from a place of love. And I’m not talking about rainbow and unicorn love. I’m talking about learning how to stay fueled by a gritty, dangerous, wild-eyed, radical, change-the-world kinda love when disdain, judgment, and contempt are so much easier and when fear is seducing me into staying quiet. hooks writes, “Refusal to stand up for what you believe in weakens individual morality and ethics as well as those of the culture. No wonder then that we are a nation of people, the majority of whom, across race, class, and gender, claim to be religious, claim to believe in the divine power of love, and yet collectively remain unable to embrace a love ethic and allow it to guide behavior, especially if doing so would mean supporting radical change. Fear of radical changes leads many citizens of our nation to betray their minds and hearts.”

I’ll take radical change over betraying my mind and heart every time.

Doubling down on love demands that we be brave enough to straddle the tension of staying awake to the struggle in the world and fighting for justice and peace, while also cultivating a love ethic in our own lives. We can’t sacrifice the micro for the macro, or the macro for the micro.

Love, belonging, connection, and joy are irreducible needs for all of us. We can’t give people what we don’t have. We have to live love to give love.

I’m back and I’m here to love big, have fun, cultivate joy, and fight hard.

Playlist for the love double down?

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The Need to Belong Essay

Introduction.

The need to belong to a given social or religious grouping is an innate desire of humanity since creation for it was not good for Adam to live alone, and thus it is not good for anyone to live alone.

Human beings need to identify with certain social groupings and become active members for the satisfaction of the overwhelming need of belongingness. Since human needs according to Abraham Maslow follow hierarchy in satisfaction, the need to belong falls under third category and if not satisfied, no one can satisfy the subsequent needs of self-esteem and self-actualization

Human being is a social being with a strong sense of belongingness. The need to belong is a strong human desire that compels someone to identify with certain social groups and become primary members, and thus satisfaction of their needs. Abraham Maslow in his theory of human needs suggested that, human beings have hierarchy of needs and the need to belong falls under the third group of needs. The need to belong to a given social group and desire to experience love is a source of motivation, which encourages one to attain satisfaction in life.

According to Elkin (2008), “all human beings need a certain minimum quantity of regular, satisfying, social interactions … inability to meet this need results into loneliness, mental distress, and a strong desire to form new relationships” (p.4). Therefore, the need to belong is a basic social need that human beings are constantly striving to achieve in order to attain good mental, emotional, spiritual, and social health. Nevertheless, how does the need to belong relate to the biblical principles?

The need to belong is an inherent human desire to identify and associate with a given social group that shares common values and beliefs, and can satisfy the desired needs of the members. People can express their desire to belong by “attending sports events together, visiting one another, sharing a meal together, or going out as a group to watch a movie … joining with others in groups remains a universally observed characteristics of the humans across societies” (Forsyth, 2009, p. 59).

Human beings have inherent social characteristics in that even the biblical creation story states that, after God had created Adam in the Garden of Eden, He realized that something was amiss and created Eve for it was not good for Adam to live alone without a partner or a helper. Even today, it is not good for anyone to live in isolation and that is why there is the need of belonging burning in people’s hearts continually.

Associating or being part of a certain group that satisfy social needs have profound benefits to the well being of humanity. People belong to certain groups of their choice to experience love, to pour their hearts out, to receive advice, and enjoy the warmth of unity. In the bible, King David marveled at human belongingness saying that, “behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity” (Psalms 133: 1, King James Version).

The unity of humanity is an expression of their sense of belongingness. The need to belong has great social, psychological, and spiritual benefits to humanity. Since it is not good for any person to live alone, the strong desire that is inherent in human beings always compels people to strive and belong to certain groups and that is why Christians meet often to pray together and encourage one another.

The primary reason of joining social or religious groups is to satisfy the need to belong. Since the need to belong is one of the basic human needs as classified by Abraham Maslow, it becomes difficult for someone to attain any significant level of self-esteem and self-actualization without first satisfying the need of belongingness.

Elkin argues that all people long to belong to certain groups that seem to have common values and beliefs with their desired needs, but “we do not satisfy the need to belong when we feel rejected by the groups we want to join, and we can suffer deep depression, and even decide life is not worth living” (2008, p. 12). This proves that the need to belong is an innate desire and indispensable in our daily living.

Elkin, D. (2008). The Need to Belong . The Journal of Psychology , 2(6), 1-22.

Forsyth, D. (2009). Group Dynamics (5 th Ed.). New York: Cengage Learning. King James Version. The Bible

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Love and Belongingness Needs

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Pinkus, R.T. (2020). Love and Belongingness Needs. In: Zeigler-Hill, V., Shackelford, T.K. (eds) Encyclopedia of Personality and Individual Differences. Springer, Cham. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-319-24612-3_1487

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Suzanne Degges-White Ph.D.

Friendship or Romance: We All Need to Belong

Whether single or partnered, being seen and heard are key to feeling whole..

Posted February 6, 2024 | Reviewed by Pam Dailey

  • You don't have to find love to find a strong sense of attunement, support, and belonging—friends suffice!
  • Feeling that you belong to a place, a relationship, or an organization positively affects your self-esteem.
  • Belonging boosts your confidence while offering a safe place to land if things in life go awry.

Some people find “true love,” however they define it, and couple up for their personal “happily ever after.” Others may spend a lifetime looking for a relationship that can live up to their dreams and never find a person who is able to or willing to make those dreams come true. But romantic relationships aren’t for everyone, and being single can bring as much satisfaction as being coupled can bring. It is increasingly apparent that the key to a happy and healthy life is as simple, and as complicated, as having healthy relationships with people who genuinely care about your well-being.

The most viral moment of the 2024 Grammy awards was when the audience realized that it was actually Tracy Chapman who was standing beside Luke Combs as she played the opening bars of “Fast Car.” Social media was lit! Twitter users shared the video, confessed to having listened to the song over and over the next day at work, and celebrated the unlikely musical union of a queer Black folk singer with a white country music artist. There was a line from the song, written by Tracy Chapman, that seemed to resonate with absolutely everyone, breaking down any imagined walls between groups:

“ Your arm felt nice wrapped around my shoulder, and I had a feeling that I belonged, I had a feeling I could be someone .”

Decades before “belonging” became a popular buzzword and the goal of interventions across business, education , and myriad other settings, Tracy Chapman named it. She lifted up the importance of being seen, being accepted, and being (both literally in the song and metaphorically in life) embraced by another, and feeling empowered by that sense of fullness we get when someone sees us and moves towards us, not away from us.

With Friends or Lovers: We need to Belong

Fisher et al. (2021) emphasized the universal need to forge and maintain healthy long-term relationships. While the first thought of such relationships may center around romantic relationships, cultural shifts suggest that younger generations are less interested in finding a single significant other with whom they want to spend their lives. In monogamous romantic relationships, we engage in psychological attunement with our significant other, and this attunement intimately connects us with our partner whose responses to our own behavior and presence support our awareness that we have value, which supports our self-esteem , and which, in turn, supports our sense of belonging. In simpler terms, we make choices that help ensure our continued sense of belonging within our relationships.

Psychological attunement can be as simple as recognizing through a partner’s facial expression that they are overwhelmed and reaching out with support. We experience the benefits of attunement when we are infants whose cries of hunger are met with nourishment from our caregivers. When we attune with a partner in a healthy relationship, we experience a healthy sense of self-esteem, which creates a welcome and essential sense of belonging.

Friendships Have Significance, Especially for Singles

Friendships, though, are also valuable relationships that provide a significant sense of belonging and connection. Not only that, but Fisher et al. found that we psychologically attune to our friends just as we might if we had a romantic partner. In addition, single people are more attuned to their friends than partnered people were found to be. This finding reinforces what many single people realize when a friend partners up—the friendship is likely to grow less close and fall down in the priority list for the now-partnered friend. The unpartnered friend usually recognizes this pretty early on, but it may not be until a romantic relationship ends that the partnered friend realizes that their friendship support system is not as tight or easily accessed as it had been before the romantic relationship began.

Belongingness Is a Fertile Foundation

Feeling that you belong to a place, a relationship, or an organization positively affects your self-esteem as well as your emotional well-being and mood. It protects against loneliness . Feeling a sense of belonging, with a partner or good friends, can boost your confidence while ensuring you’ll have a safe place to land in case it’s needed. Belongingness is about moving towards others, not closing ranks against them.

Tuning Up Your Emotional Attunement Skills

  • Affirm your friends or partner. Let them know that you believe in them.
  • See, really see, your friends or partner. Observe their facial expressions, their body language , their gestures, and their eyes. Get to know what they are saying before they have to spell it out.
  • Listen to their concerns without having to rush in with your own opinions. Bring curiosity to the conversation and practice active listening through open-ended questions and focused attention .
  • Validate their feelings and perspective. You don’t have to agree, and you should not judge, either. Remind yourself that it’s OK to have differing viewpoints and that sometimes friends and couples must agree to disagree.
  • Be willing to open up and be vulnerable. When someone trusts us enough to share intimately with us, that strengthens the relationship. Don’t leave your friend or partner on an “intimacy cliff” waiting for you to catch up with their own willingness to share deeply.

Fisher, A. N., Stinson, D. A., Wood, J. V., Holmes, J. G., & Cameron, J. J. (2021). Singlehood and attunement of self-esteem to friendships. Social Psychological and Personality Science , 12 (7), 1326-1334.

Suzanne Degges-White Ph.D.

Suzanne Degges-White, Ph.D. , is a licensed counselor and professor at Northern Illinois University.

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22 Social Needs Examples (aka Love and Belonging Needs)

Social Needs Examples

Social needs are the third tier of needs on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. They refer to the need that humans have for social interaction and community engagement in order to thrive.

Social needs are also referred to as ‘love and belonging needs’. Examples include love, intimacy, friendship, family, feedback, acceptance, and belonging.

Once people’s physiological and safety needs are met, Maslow believes people need to have their social needs covered. By socializing, humans can feel more fulfilled and connected to their ‘tribe’.

Examples of Social Needs

People need to feel loved for a number of reasons. First and foremost, it helps to boost self-esteem and confidence. When we feel loved, we feel valued and worth spending time with.

This sense of self-worth is essential for maintaining healthy relationships, both personal and professional.

Secondly, feeling loved helps to reduce stress and anxiety. Knowing that someone cares about us and wants to be with us can help to calm our nerves and ease our worries.

Thirdly, feeling loved simply makes us happy. When we are surrounded by people who love and care for us, we can’t help but smile and enjoy life just a little bit more. So why do people need to feel loved? Because it helps them to be their best selves.

2. Belonging

People need to feel a sense of belonging for similar reasons as they need to feel love. First and foremost, it helps with self-esteem and confidence. When we feel like we belong somewhere, we feel valued and worth spending time with.

Examples of things that help give us a sense of belonging include our families, friends, co-workers, and any clubs or organizations we are a part of. For example, children often feel a sense of belonging in their classroom. They know everyone in the class and feel a sense of togetherness with them.

Team sports like football and baseball similarly give that sense of belonging. In fact, even fans can get that sense that they belong to the crowd.

3. Intimacy

Intimacy is a close, emotional connection with another person. It is often used in reference to romantic relationships but can also refer to any close, platonic relationship.

When we feel close to someone and they make us feel special, we can’t help but feel good about ourselves.

Physical intimacy, such as hugs and hand-holding also releases oxytocin, which is known as the ‘cuddle hormone’. Oxytocin has a number of benefits, including reducing stress and anxiety, increasing self-esteem, and making us feel happy.

4. Friendship

Friendship is a close, platonic relationship between two people. Friendships are often built on shared interests and experiences.

Having friends is important for a number of reasons. First, friends provide us with support, both emotional and practical. They are there for us when we need them and help us to get through tough times.

Second, friends help us to feel connected and a part of something. When we have friends, we feel like we belong somewhere and that we are valued. Being a part of a close friendship group can give people social confidence and a sense of self-worth.

Third, friends help us to have fun and enjoy life. They are the people we can relax with and have a good time.

Family is the closest social group we will have in our lives. Families are made up of blood relatives, such as parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, and cousins. But they may also be adopted families who have taken someone in as their own.

For most people, their family is the first social group they are a part of. Families provide us with love, support, and a sense of belonging. They are the people we can always count on, no matter what.

Families can also help to shape our personalities and who we become as adults. For example, if we have a close, loving family, we are more likely to be trusting and confident. If our family is more distant or dysfunctional, we may have difficulty forming close relationships with others.

6. Community

A community is a group of people who share a common interest or live in the same area. Traditionally, we think of a community as a group of people who live in the same area, such as a village. However, in today’s globalized culture, they can be large, like a group of people who share the same subculture or hobby.

Being a part of a community can provide us with a sense of belonging to a group of people who share something in common with us. It can also give us a sense of purpose and help us to feel like we are part of something larger than ourselves.

Communities can also provide support, both practical and emotional. For example, if we are going through a tough time financially, our church community might pitch in to help out.

7. Receiving Feedback

Receiving feedback, whether it is positive or negative, is an important benefit of social interaction. By interacting with others, we can look for cues about what hasn’t been effective and what works well in our behaviors.

Similarly, people can give us constructive feedback about our strengths and weaknesses. We can then work on our weaknesses or rely more on our strengths in life.

Feedback can also help us to feel more connected to others. When we feel like we are being heard and understood, we can’t help but feel good about ourselves.

8. Acceptance

We need to feel accepted by others to feel good about ourselves. Acceptance is when someone understands and values us for who we are.

When we feel accepted, we feel like we belong somewhere and that we are valued. This sense of belonging can be very important for our mental health and well-being.

Acceptance can also help us to feel more confident and secure in ourselves. We are more likely to take risks and be creative when we feel accepted by others.

9. Clan or Tribe Membership

A clan is a close-knit group of people who have a common ancestor. A tribe is a larger social group that is made up of several clans.

In many cultures, clan or tribe membership is very important. It can provide us with a sense of identity and belonging. It can also give us a sense of security and protection.

Clan or tribe membership can also help us to feel connected to our heritage and culture. This connection can give us a sense of pride and belonging.

Examples of How Humans Meet Their Social Needs

10. gang membership.

Young people who don’t get their social needs met in any other way (such as at home or school) may turn to gangs for a sense of love and belonging. Gangs can provide a sense of family and community that is often lacking in other areas of their life.

In order to belong to a gang, members typically have to go through a initiation process. This can involve proving their loyalty to the gang by committing an act of violence or crime. Once they are in, they often have to follow certain rules, such as not being allowed to quit.

Gang members often have a sense of pride in their membership. They might get tattoos of the gang’s symbols and often dress in a certain way to identify themselves as members.

Once you’re a member of a gang, a youth may receive the group protections and satisfaction of belonging to a tight-knit social group that they were craving.

11. Attending Sporting Events

Going to a football game with the family is another example of how the family can bond. The energy of the atmosphere can create a tremendous sense of excitement. When all the fans cheer at the same time, or do the wave, people will feel a connection with the other 70,000 fans in attendance.

It is also an opportunity for the parents to teach their children about the game. Most sports have a lot of rules and sometimes those rules can be a bit complicated. When a parent explains the rules to their child it makes them feel important and helps them fulfill their parental obligations .

Children also benefit. Not only do they learn something about the game, but more importantly, it helps them see how much their parents care about them. Children are more perceptive of these dynamics than we think.

12. Political Affiliations

Political parties usually consist of a lot of people. These parties often have frequent gatherings that include fund-raising events and rallies. When attending these events, the individual members can get a tremendous sense of being part of something larger.

There will be opportunities to interact with others, to share opinions and ideals. When others agree and affirm our views, we feel closer to them. The psychological distance between two people that started out as strangers quickly narrows.

There also may be times of crisis, such as a scandal or a drop in the polls. A crisis is a very emotionally-charged moment and when people are experiencing the same emotions, they feel more connected to each other.

13. Marriage and Family Counseling

Unfortunately, sometimes a family can have difficulties. There can be many causes of marital discord, and that discord will affect the whole family. Lots of arguments creates a cold feeling in the home and family members can feel alone and isolated.

For this reason, many families seek counseling. A trained therapist can have many years of experience listening to the problems that families face. Over time they will have acquired valuable insights into family dynamics and can offer an objective point of view.

If family members are committed and are willing to express their inner-most thoughts, an experienced therapist can help. Therapy sessions are opportunities for family members to rebuild the strong emotional bonds that brought them together at one time.

BIRG stands for “Basking in Reflected Glory.” It basically means experiencing joy and pride in the accomplishment of another person. The closer that person is to us, the stronger the feeling.

For example, having a close friend that has just won a tennis championship can make us feel great. Even though we did not win anything, we can still feel a sense of pride because of our connection with the champion.  

However, if a complete stranger wins, there is not much in it for us. We don’t benefit because we have no deep, personal connection to them.

15. Employee Engagement Activities

Employment offers many opportunities to fulfill one’s need to establish friendships and develop a sense of belonging. For example, HR departments organize company events on a regular basis. These include birthday parties, outdoor picnics, departmental sporting events, and team-building activities.

These activities help employees bond with each other and foster the development of a cohesive organizational culture. Thus, satisfying one aspect of Maslow’s level three.

Over time, people will feel more committed to the company. This commitment creates a strong sense of belonging. They become fully committed to the company and sometimes even sacrifice aspects of their personal lives. Some employees may even incorporate the brand’s image into their self-identify.

16. The Super Fan

In the world of collegiate and professional sports, it is common for fans to buy shirts and jerseys that represent their favorite team. A lot of fans might also have memorabilia at home, such as a framed jersey, a helmet, or a team poster.

A super fan takes this to another level. They are extremely enthusiastic and will engage in numerous behaviors that highlight their loyalty to the team. This can include attending every home game for years and even decades.

Going to a game involves wearing several items of clothing related to the team, such as special pants, hair, and shoes. They might even get a tattoo of the team logo. These are examples of behavior that help a fan create a sense of belonging with the team.  

17. Facebook and other Social Media

Facebook started out with the explicit goal of creating an online community. The goal was to offer people a place where they could interact with each other, share photos and videos, and establish personal connections with people no matter where they were.

As of April 2022, the platform had nearly 3 billion users. It is the most popular example of social media on the internet and one of the world’s most profitable companies.  

The main reason it has been such a huge success is because it taps into one of the most fundamental and enduring needs that people have: to form an emotional connection with others.

18. Nationalism

Citizens of most countries have a strong sense of pride. Even when their country is poor and rife with political corruption, people still feel devoted. Nationalism is when individuals of a given nation care a great deal about their country and their national identity.

One example of nationalism occurs during holidays that signify the country’s date of independence. The celebration can involve a lot of flag waving and singing of the national anthem. Typical meals are prepared and common phrases exalting the country can be heard throughout the day; for example, “Viva la Peru.”

Sometimes nationalism can be so extreme that the citizens believe their country is superior to other nations and its culture and interests should be promoted over all others.

Nationalism is an excellent example of belonging in Maslow’s hierarchy.

Read Also: 14 Types of Nationalism

19. Ethnic Identity

Ethnic identity refers to one’s close identification with their cultural background. The characteristics of that culture are internalized into the person’s self-identity and is well-ingrained in their consciousness.

There is often a great sense of pride in their ethnicity and an admiration for key elements of the culture. Some examples include extolling the values of the ethnicity, wearing traditional clothes and preparing traditional meals.

Examples of ethnic identity in the U.S. are when people state that they are: African-American, Hispanic-American, Asian-American, or Italian-American.

When people have a strong sense of their ethnic identity it is a way to satisfy the need of belonging. Identifying with a larger cultural group makes people feel included and have a social identify that they can be proud of.

20. Camping

Spending time in the great outdoors with the family is just one way of bringing the family together. This is especially important in modern times when everyone is busy pursuing individual interests and staring at an electronic device.

Parents are often consumed with their careers and may only see their spouse and children for a few hours each day during the week. That time is usually absorbed by carrying out household tasks such as paying bills, preparing meals, or cleaning.

However, taking the family on a camping trip means that everyone will be with each other nearly every second of the day. Doing activities together, like setting up the tent or going fishing, gives everyone the same goal and helps create a bonding moment. Camping is a great way to meet what Maslow referred to as love and belonging needs.

Social Needs in Popular Culture and Media

21. forrest gump.

Movies and literary works often contain storylines that are consistent with Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Writers will incorporate conflicts or relationships that tap into the most basic and essential needs of human beings, such as the need to survive or be loved.

The movie Forrest Gump is an excellent example of a story that shows how friendship can play a significant role in our lives. Throughout the movie, the main character meets a new friend, and then that person goes on to impact him in a very meaningful way.

There are countless examples of movies that convey how love, friendship and a sense of belonging are central to happiness.

22. Beer Commercials

Advertisers are well-versed in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Just about every commercial on television can be analyzed in terms of his theory. Watching the stream of Super Bowl ads is like taking an introductory course in the psychology of marketing.

For example, beer commercials almost always contain scenes of friends gathered together and having a great time. There are lots of smiling faces and everyone likes each other.

It’s almost as if the ad is trying to tell you that if you drink their beer, you will have lots of friends. You will be part of a happy and cheerful group that get together and enjoy life to its fullest.

Definition of Social Needs

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs also includes a component about social needs. Level three in his theory is labeled Love and Belonging . At this level, after lower order needs are met, people want to have connections with others.

Those connections can be with family and friends, or coworkers and fellow members of the same club or organization. When people are in a group, they often feel a sense of value as a result of positive interactions. Being liked by others makes us feel good.

Maslow also included sexual intimacy in this level. The intense feeling of closeness with a loved one that intimacy brings is also important to people’s psychological health and well-being.

Other Needs on Maslow’s Hierarchy

Maslow’s hierarchy includes the following needs, from most to least important:

  • Physiological needs – these are the basic needs for survival and include air, food, water, shelter, clothing, and reproduction. They need to be met before an individual can focus on higher-level needs.
  • Safety needs – once physiological needs are met, individuals seek to feel safe and secure. This may include financial security, personal safety, and health.
  • Social needs (Love and belonging) – after meeting basic needs and feeling safe, individuals need to feel a sense of love, belonging, and connection. This may come from family, friends, romantic relationships, and a sense of community.
  • Esteem needs (self-esteem and esteem from others) – once individuals feel they belong, they need to feel good about themselves and have the respect of others. This can include self-esteem, achievement, and recognition.
  • Self-actualization needs – this is the final level of need and is about self-fulfillment and self-actualization. This may include creativity, morality, problem-solving, and a sense of purpose.

People are social animals. Since the beginning of time, we have felt a need to be with others. Interacting with other people, sharing joyful moments and enduring heartbreaking difficulties helps establish a strong emotional bond between people.

In modern times, these needs manifest themselves in numerous ways. People join social clubs and political parties, and attend sporting events along with thousands of others.

Human beings will even try to establish friendships with people on the other side of the planet for which they will likely never meet in person. Having close-knit bonds with others is so important that when a relationship is at risk, people will hire trained professionals to help them rebuild that connection.

It seems that Maslow was spot-on when he identified love and belonging needs as a critically important need that all human beings strive to meet.

Maslow, A. H. (1943). A theory of human motivation. Psychological Review,50(4) , 370-96.

Benjamin, P. and Looby, J. (1998), Defining the Nature of Spirituality in the Context of Maslow’s and Rogers’s Theories. Counseling and Values, 42 : 92-100. https://doi.org/10.1002/j.2161-007X.1998.tb00414.x

Benson, S.G. and Dundis, S.P. (2003), Understanding and motivating health care employees: integrating Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, training and technology. Journal of Nursing Management, 11 : 315-320. https://doi.org/10.1046/j.1365-2834.2003.00409.x

Cialdini, R. B., Borden, R. J., Thorne, A., Walker, M. R., Freeman, S., & Sloan, L. R. (1976). Basking in reflected glory: Three (football) field studies. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 34 (3), 366–375. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.34.3.366

Davies, J. C. (1991). Maslow and Theory of Political Development: Getting to Fundamentals. Political Psychology , 12 (3), 389–420. https://doi.org/10.2307/3791750

Fiedhawatie, S. D. (2013). Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs Manifested by the Main Character in the Forrest Gump the Movie. Jurnal Ilmiah Mahasiswa Fakultas Ilmu Budaya Universitas Brawijaya , 1 (5).

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11 Examples of Belongingness and Love Needs (Maslow’s Hierarchy)

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is a significant theory in psychology, which was postulated by the noted American psychologist Abraham Maslow in his 1943 paper, “A Theory of Human Motivation.” Even after receiving criticism for being western in nature, the theory is still relevant and a significant part of management studies. In the five tiers of these needs, the third one is the social needs of belongingness and love that comes after physiological and safety needs.

Significance

A great significance of social needs of love, affection, and belongingness is sound mental health. An individual can overcome loneliness and feel more joyful. Having strong connections or bonding with others also supports in satisfying other needs.

Examples of Belongingness and Love Needs

Let’s have some real-life examples of Belongingness and Love Needs.

1. Family get-together

The family get-together plays an important role in satisfying emotional or belongingness and affection needs of us. On different occasions like birthday parties, marriages, family lunch or dinner, family tours, any misfortunes, etc. family members assemble at one place to share sorrows and happiness with each other. It helps in fulfilling the love and belongingness needs of individuals.

2. Movies & Plays

Different movies and theatre acts or plays we watch involve different characters like friends, parents, siblings, couples, etc., and are based on love, emotions. The scripts and dialogues of these movies and dramas are written especially by keeping in mind the emotional, love and sense of belonging needs of humans.

3. Attractive tour packages by travel agencies

Nowadays different travel companies or agencies like Makemytrip, Cox and Kings, Thomas Cook, Club Mahindra, Goibibo, Yatra.com, etc., offer very attractive tour packages both National and International for married couples, families, group of friends, and corporate employees. These provide discounts on overall tour package, including tickets, hotel stay, etc., so that a large number of families or couples can avail such tour packages and can spend valuable time with each other from their busy life. By doing so, these companies contribute to the love and belongingness needs of humans.

4. Theme-based events

Different food outlets and event management companies organize different events or celebrations for their customers on different occasions, like birthday parties, Valentine’s Day celebration theme, anniversary celebration themes which play a great role in affection and love needs.

5. Social networking sites

Different social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Youtube, Whatsapp, Snapchat, etc.  support in creating informal groups in which individuals interact with each other. Through above social networking platforms family members, friends at a distance chat with each other, share the videos and images of similar likings and thus develop a sense of belonging that motivates them to incline towards peers and to follow their recommendations. If our family members or friends share any content on social media, we would like to follow and share it with others.

6. Products and services that promote belongingness and affection

The promotional and marketing strategy of products and services of different organizations is also based on the social or belongingness needs of humans. Different companies create a feeling of social belonging with their customers to satisfy their needs of love, trust, and long-term relations. Companies market their products in such a way that customers feel like their social identity is connected with the brand. For example, have a look at the advertisements of “Cadbury” dairy milk chocolates, which emphasize sharing a great bond between family members and friends on different occasions by gifting gift packs of chocolates to dear and near ones. It helps in fulfilling love and belongingness needs.

7. Matrimonial Services

Different matrimonial sites like Shaadi.com, Jeevansathi.com, etc., play an important role in fulfilling the love and belongingness needs of people by giving them an opportunity to find their perfect partner for marriage.

8. NGOs for love and belongingness needs

Different non-government organizations (NGOs) are established in which people volunteer for extending support to needy people of society, i.e., poor people, children, old-age people, women, etc., in terms of fulfilling basic needs of food, clothing and also contributing in education, health, emotional support, etc. Volunteering is considered as a great path to look for love, affection, and belonging.

9. Social clubs and communities

Different social clubs and local communities, which organize different events, like recreational events, Marathon, Craft fairs and exhibitions, etc., also play an important role in fulfilling the belongingness needs of people up-to some extent. People having common community goals or having common interests become part of these social clubs and develop a sense of belonging with each other by getting themselves indulged in a similar type of activity and sharing their joy, experiences, trust, and care to each other.

10. Employee engagement at the workplace

In offices, various employee engagement activities are organized by the HR department to keep employees connected in informal groups. These activities include employee’s birthday celebrations, outdoor picnics, and tours for employees, organizing different team games and activities, festival celebrations, etc.

11. Religious places for social needs

A large group of people of the same community often visits different religious places like temples, gurudwaras, and churches; as they share a common belief in the same God or religion. It satisfies their social needs.

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The Racism of People Who Love You

Essays on Mixed Race Belonging

By Samira Mehta

Category: biography & memoir.

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About The Racism of People Who Love You

  • authenticity and belonging;
  • conscious and unconscious cultural inheritance;
  • appropriate mentorship;
  • the racism of people who love you.

Product Details

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“Thoughtful meditations on identity.” — Kirkus Reviews “Throughout, Mehta pulls off an impressive set of balancing acts, weaving theory through stories, knitting personal memories, public histories, family dynamics, and cultural norms together with brutal honesty and no small amount of tenderness as she attempts to understand hurtful behavior without excusing it.” — Cannonball Read “Samira Mehta interweaves laugh-out-loud personal vignettes with piercing reflections on life as a biracial person. Drawing also on her multireligious upbringing, she conveys moments of joy and pain in ways that let us all in on the experience. The Racism of People Who Love You is relatable for all kinds of readers, with especially important insights for all of us who have people of mixed racial and religious backgrounds in our families and social circles.” —Khyati Y. Joshi, author of White Christian Privilege “Samira Mehta’s The Racism of People Who Love You has the qualities of my favorite writing: insightful, provocative, and revealing. Her unique story provides a window into the common yet underrepresented experience of mixed belonging, and she displays the unique ability to share these stories in ways that welcome the reader to see the world afresh.” —Simran Jeet Singh, author of The Light We Give “Moving fluidly between personal storytelling and theoretical analysis, Samira Mehta offers an unblinking examination of the complexities, dangers, and possibilities of being of mixed heritage—not only in America writ large but also within one’s own family. At once intellectually rigorous, personally invested, and uncommonly well-written, The Racism of People Who Love You is an essential read for anyone interested in negotiating difference, confronting injustice, and extending compassion to those who both love and hurt you.” —Lynn Casteel Harper, author of On Vanishing “Samira Mehta’s searching essays have prompted me to think about love and race in deeper, more nuanced, more intimate ways. As a white person in a multiracial family, I know all too well how tempting it is to buy into the myth that love is enough. Samira insists instead that love is just the beginning.” —Briallen Hopper, author of Hard to Love “We are finally, thankfully, seeing more books that delve into the personal experience of race. Mehta’s work is an important addition to our ongoing discussions about race in America.” —Kavita Das, author of Craft and Conscience “ The Racism of People Who Love You is by turns gripping, challenging, funny, and compassionate, effortlessly entwining personal experience with global, religious, and literary histories. Samira Mehta is an important new voice grappling with the complexity of American identities.” —Peter Manseau, author of One Nation Under Gods

Table Of Contents

Author’s Note Introduction ONE Where Are You Really From? A Triptych TWO Meat Is Murder THREE Failing the Authenticity Test FOUR American Racism FIVE Appropriation SIX Mentoring SEVEN The Racism of People Who Love You Acknowledgments

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Vessels Belonging to Owner of Baltimore Ship Had Been Cited for Labor Violations

The vessels had underpaid crews and kept workers onboard for months beyond their contracts, according to an Australian regulator.

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A large blue cargo ship with collapsed portions of the Francis Scott Key Bridge atop it.

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  • March 26, 2024

Ships belonging to the company whose container vessel crashed into the Francis Scott Key Bridge in Baltimore on Tuesday have been cited in recent years for labor violations, which include underpaying ship crews and holding crew members onboard for months past their contracts, according to the Australian Maritime Safety Authority.

In 2021, the authority detained the Western Callao, another ship formerly owned by the company, the Singapore-based Grace Ocean Private Ltd., after it found that the management was in arrears paying 13 crew members and had kept them on the ship for more than 12 months, well beyond their nine-month contracts. In 2020, an inspection of the same ship in Australia found that eight sailors had been aboard it for more than 11 months.

Another ship owned by Grace Ocean, the Furness Southern Cross, had 10 seafarers aboard for more than 14 months. The infractions were “serious and shameful” violations of an international convention on maritime labor, Michael Drake, the executive director of operations for the authority, said at the time, in October 2021.

“This type of behavior is unethical and in complete contravention to the Maritime Labor Convention,” Mr. Drake said. “The international conventions that protect seafarers’ rights are very clear.”

Any factors about the crew of the Dali, the Grace-owned container ship that crashed into the Key Bridge, including fatigue, will likely be among the many items the National Transportation Safety Board examines as it looks for the cause or causes of the crash.

Grace Ocean owns 55 ships, according to Equasis , a public database of ship information. While global companies such as Maersk charter the vessels, the owners and the ship managers are generally responsible for managing the crew and maintaining the ships. The management company for the Dali, Synergy Marine, was not the company managing the two vessels cited by Australia.

The extremely opaque nature of global ship-owning makes finding the ultimate owners and holding them accountable for any violations difficult. According to Singapore company records, Grace Ocean is owned by the British Virgin Islands-based Grace Ocean Investment Limited. Lloyds List, which first reported Grace Ocean’s infractions in 2021, reported that Grace Ocean Investment is based in Hong Kong. But the company matching the name and address in Lloyd’s database dissolved in 2015, according to Hong Kong company records.

The Singapore company has four directors — two Filipino citizens, a Singaporean and a Japanese person — with all listing addresses in Singapore, records show.

Alexandra Wrage, the president and founder of Trace, a group focused on anti-bribery, compliance and good governance, said that ship ownership structures were designed to maximize opacity and minimize accountability.

“There are some good actors in this space, but shipping is the Wild West from a compliance and accountability perspective,” Ms. Wrage said. “And when compliance and accountability aren’t priorities, issues like environmental standards, labor practices and health and safety often aren’t either.”

The Dali had 22 crew members from India onboard, according to a statement from Grace Ocean and Synergy Marine. None were injured.

An inspection of the Dali last year at a port in Chile found that the vessel had a deficiency related to “propulsion and auxiliary machinery.” The inspection, conducted on June 27 at the port of San Antonio, specified that the problem concerned gauges and thermometers.

The Dali has had 27 inspections since 2015, according to Equasis. The only other deficiency, a damaged hull “impairing seaworthiness,” was found in 2016, at the port of Antwerp, in Belgium. The vessel hit a berth at the port that year. A spokesman representing Grace Ocean and Synergy did not immediately have a comment on the labor violations or on the deficiency reported last year.

Michael Forsythe a reporter on the investigations team at The Times, based in New York. He has written extensively about, and from, China. More about Michael Forsythe

Peter Eavis reports on business, financial markets, the economy and companies across different sectors. More about Peter Eavis

Jenny Gross is a reporter for The Times in London covering breaking news and other topics. More about Jenny Gross

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