personal essay on forgiveness

66 Forgiveness Essay: Examples, Titles, & Thesis Statement

A forgiveness essay is an exciting yet challenging task. In our article, you can find good forgiveness essay examples in literature, history, religion, and other spheres

📝 Writing a Forgiveness Theme Statement

🏆 best forgiveness essay examples, 🔍 simple forgiveness titles for essay, 💡 interesting forgiveness essay examples.

In your forgiveness essay, focus on different aspects of forgiveness. Some good forgiveness titles for the essay reveal themes of revenge, justice, and personal forgiveness. You can write an excellent reflective or argumentative essay on forgiveness – it is a versatile topic.

Regardless of your forgiveness essay’s specific topic and type, you should develop a strong thesis statement. Below we will provide recommendations on making a good forgiveness theme statement. This will help you come up with a solid base and arguments to prove your position.

Check these tips to make a powerful forgiveness thesis statemen:

• Determine the primary idea. What are you trying to prove? Can anything be forgiven, or are there cases when it’s not possible? Introduce your one main idea and the angle from which you will look at it. You can also include some facts or opinions about the acuteness of the topic.
• Work out your argumentation. It is crucial to have a firm structure in your forgiveness essay. You need to support the thesis statement with several arguments and evidence to demonstrate the consistency of your paper.
• Think of the opposing views. Every argument has a counterargument. When working on your forgiveness theme statement, always keep an opposite thesis statement in mind. Having considered counter positions, you gain additional arguments for your position.
• Don’t quote others in your thesis statement. A thesis statement is the first and foremost chance to introduce your point of view. Use your own strongest words to reach a reader. This is where they get the first impression about the whole work.

We also have lots of other tips on developing A+ thesis statements. Check our free thesis statement generator to discover more information and get a perfect forgiveness theme statement.

• Divine and Human Forgiveness in “Rime of the Ancient Mariner” By Samuel Taylor Coleridge After killing the albatross who was suppose to provide them with wind, all the people in the ship died but he managed to survive because he had asked God to forgive him all the sins […]
• Forgiveness in Simon Wiesenthal’s Work The Sunflower Taking into account the major themes of the book The Sunflower, one is to make a conclusion that such response to atrocities as forgiveness is considered to be the key aspect of humanity.
• Christ’s Atonement and the Concept of Forgiveness This study will connect the atonement of Jesus Christ and attitudes towards forgiveness through the revision of the current church, Love and God’s commandment to forgive.
• Hamlet and Forgiveness: A Personal Reflection Some of the most prominent themes in the story are the ideas of mutual forgiveness, people’s motivation to be proactive and take risks, and their willingness to forgive and ask for forgiveness.
• Service Recovery and Customer Forgiveness Studies suggest that after apologizing to customers plus taking responsibility for the problem, getting to the root of the problem is very important to prevent such occurrences in the future. Getting to the root of […]
• Racial Inequality Targeted Student Loan Forgiveness Programs The research into this topic seems highly significant as the reduction of racial inequality was one of the most debated topics in the U.S.for the last several decades.
• Forgiveness in the Christian Texts and the World Today The apostle calls upon the church’s people to stop the punishment of the wrongdoer and forgive, comfort, and affirm their love for him. It instructs Muslims to follow God and forgive others instead of following […]
• Philosophy of Forgiveness I believe that if anyone had gone through all the pain and horror that Simon had, and was asked to forgive Karl, the instinct, and most humane reaction at that moment would be to strongly […]
• Forgiveness for Workplace Conflict Resolution The problem with the relationship between the two workers is that Jake feels that Monica is a relatively malicious individual. In the outlined scenario, Jake is doing all that he can to avoid dealing with […]
• The Effects of Forgiveness Therapy After gathering the relevant data, the researchers compared the recovery of the participants to their controls to determine the effects of forgiveness therapy.
• Self-Forgiveness: The Step Child of Forgiveness Research Other than the similarities and the differences, the two types of forgiveness relate to each other as self-forgiveness facilitates interpersonal forgiveness, this is through allowance of one to identify with one’s offender.
• The Amish Philosophy of Forgiveness It is important to note that the immediate forgiveness of the enemy does not mean that the Amish will let the perpetrators of crime go free.
• Review: “Interventions Studies on Forgiveness: A Meta-analysis” by Baskin T. and Enright R. In the church, members come to the pastor with a variety of social and psychological issues. The first step the pastor should undertake is to sympathise with the victims.
• Self-Forgiveness as the Path to Learning to Forgive the Others The key issues that the given research responds to or, at least, attempts to solve, are the definition of self-forgiveness, the relation between self-forgiveness and interpersonal forgiveness, and the means to differentiate between self-forgiveness and […]
• The Effects of Forgiveness Therapy on Depression, Anxiety and Posttraumatic Stress for Women After Spousal Emotional Abuse Enright forgiveness model applied in the study proved effective since it systematically addressed the forgiveness process identified the negative attributes caused by the abuse, and prepared the women for positive responses.
• Forgiveness & Reconciliation: The Differing Perspectives of Psychologists and Christian Theologians Based on the research design there is evidence of measures put in place to control against most of these biases which strengthens the study findings; this is the strength to the study.
• Forgiveness and Reconciliation Critique Availability of literature; as stated in the literature though the area of forgiveness is new in the field of psychology, but there is enough literature to cover the study.
• Forgiveness in Martin Luther’s Movement for Rights Blacks The bible teachings tell us that God exists in the holy trinity and the only way to forgive others is for us to be able to forgive our own transgressions.
• The Idea Of Forgiveness Resonates Differently With Every Individual
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• Feelings Surrounding the Need for Forgiveness in Emily Bronte’s Wuthering Heights
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• The Styles of Forgiveness Communication in Association with Determinants of Forgiveness in In the Wake of Transgressions, an Article by Andy Merolla
• The Spiritual Principle of Forgiveness in Wes Anderson’s Film The Royal Tenenbaums, Saint Augustine’s Confessions, and the Biblical Story of Adam and Eve
• The Problems With Forgiveness: An Analysis of Literary Works
• The Relationship Between Forgiveness and Sleep Quality
• The Themes of Betrayal and Forgiveness in Paradise Lost by John Milton and A Doll’s House by Henrik Ibsen
• Love, Forgiveness, and Trust: Critical Values of the Modern Leader
• Compassion and Forgiveness: Wilde’s Insincerity
• The Secret Life of Bees An Analysis of Forgiveness and Responsibility
• Themes Of Forgiveness In The Tempest By William Shakespeare
• Resolutions of Forgiveness, Repentance and Reconciliation in Shakespeare
• The Kite Runner: Forgiveness, Loyalty, and the Quest for Redemption
• Why Forgiveness Is Vital In Our Society
• Morals And Forgiveness In Simon Wiesenthal’s The Sunflower
• The Emotional and Physical Benefits of the Act of Forgiveness
• The Monster’s Lack of Forgiveness in Frankenstein, a Book by Mary Shelley
• Conflict Management : Forgiveness And Reconciliation
• Man Alive: A True Story Of Violence, Forgiveness And Becoming
• The Renaissance Figure That Wonders the Lands in Hope of Bring Forgiveness in the Pardoner and His Tale
• The Impact of Acceptance, Tolerance, and Forgiveness in Frankenstein, a Novel by Mary Shelley
• Racism, Redemption, Forgiveness and Hope in Minor Miracle, a Poem by Marilyn Nelson
• Why Perspective in Forgiveness and Redemption is so Important
• The Themes Punishment vs. Forgiveness Present in the Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne
• The Dynamics of Corporate Debt forgiveness and Contract Renegotiation
• Throwing Stones-Resilience and Forgiveness in The Glass Castle
• The Importance of Granting Forgiveness to One’s Enemies in Simon Wiesenthal’s The Sunflower: on Possibilities and Limits of Forgiveness
• The Meaning and Significance for Christians Today of Forgiveness
• Penalties and Exclusion in the Rescheduling and Forgiveness of International Loans
• Gender Differences in the Relationship Between Empathy and Forgiveness
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• The Importance of Perspectives in Forgiveness and Redemption
• The Economic And Ethical Ambiguities Of African Debt Forgiveness
• Exploring the Themes of Forgiveness and Reconciliation in The Tempest by William Shakespeare
• Vengeance and Forgiveness in Shakespeare’s The Tempest
• The Effects of Forgiveness Therapy on Depression
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Forgiveness Essay

• Author Kimberly Ball
• Category Popular Essay Topics

Disclaimer: This paper has been submitted by a student. This is not a sample of the work written by professional academic writers.

Any opinions, findings, conclusions or recommendations expressed in this work are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views of StudySaurus.

Topic: Why is forgiveness important

Throughout your life, you will have to forgive people. Often times, forgiveness can be difficult. A wise man once declared, “Holding a grudge does not make you strong; it makes you bitter. Forgiving does not make you weak; it sets you free.” Forgiving others allow you to overcome your anger, to heal spiritual wounds, and to be set free.

First, forgiving others allows you to overcome your anger. If you hold a situation against someone, you begin to also hold a grudge. This is also known as bitterness. Bitterness builds up over time and eventually, you become a negative form of yourself. Anger is not something you should hold in. It’s proven that anger is more than just an emotion, it has physiological effects on you.

Secondly, forgiving allows you to heal spiritual wounds. Matthew 6:14-15 “ For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Once you forgive others, our Father in Heaven will forgive you. Healing spiritual wounds will allow you to grow closer to Jesus and your family in Christ. With spiritual wounds, you will never be fully whole.

Last, forgiving simply sets you free. Forgiving others will allow weight to come off your shoulders. When you do not forgive, a bad feeling exists inside of you. It makes you feel hatred. One element of life is loving everyone, you cannot do this until you forgive. You have to be a blessing. With bitterness in your thoughts and mind, you cannot do this.

Overall, you will have to forgive people every day. Everyone makes mistakes. You should forgive people as fast as you would want them to forgive you. Forgiving gives you the chance to overcome your anger, to heal your spiritual wounds, and to set you free. Forgiveness is the key to life.

Explain why it is important to forgive

The Freedom of Forgiveness

It is very important to forgive others. Forgiveness means to forget someone’s bad deed or mistake. Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never received. You react to someone else’s mistake can be vital to your life and the lives of the others around you. Avoiding forgiveness can leave frustration in your heart and destroy your personality. You must learn to forgive others and yourself. It is very important to forgive.

First of all, it is important to react in the right way to someone else’s mistake. When you act in a response to an act or mistake, it could cause damage to good and bad sides. Fighting or taking revenge will only make a situation worse and it also means that you would commit a bad deed as well. If you do not fight or take revenge, but choose to forgive, you are at a higher place than the other person. By acting mature and not fighting or taking revenge, you will not damage your self-respect. Also, there will be peace between you and the other person because you both acted in a mature way. It is important to react in the right way to someone else’s mistake.

Secondly, it is important to forgive because avoiding forgiveness causes frustration in your heart and destroys your personality. If you forgive someone, you will feel better about yourself. Your heart and your mind will become more relaxed because you have peace in knowing that you do not have to be angry with anyone. In history, war broke out because countries could not forgive each other. If you simply learn to forgive, your mind and heart will be at peace instead of at war. Forgiveness is very important.

Lastly, forgiveness is important to you and the people around you. If you do not find forgiveness in yourself, others can become victims of your ego and revenge. If you are too prideful to forgive someone, you need to change your mindset. If someone does you wrong, you must treat everyone in a kind way because it is not their fault. If you don’t forgive yourself, you can’t forgive others. Forgiveness is very important to you and the people around you.

In conclusion, it is very important to forgive others. It is important to react in the right way to someone else’s mistake. It is important to never avoid forgiveness. Also, the way you react to forgiveness will affect you and the people around you. It is very important to forgive others.

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Essay on Forgiveness

Students are often asked to write an essay on Forgiveness in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Forgiveness

Understanding forgiveness.

Forgiveness is when we stop feeling anger towards someone who has done something wrong to us. It’s like letting go of a heavy burden.

The Power of Forgiveness

When we forgive, we feel lighter and happier. It helps us to move on and not dwell on past hurts.

Forgiveness and Relationships

Forgiveness strengthens our relationships. It helps us to understand and accept others, despite their mistakes.

Learning to Forgive

Forgiving is not easy, but it’s important. We can learn to forgive by understanding that everyone makes mistakes.

Also check:

• Paragraph on Forgiveness
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250 Words Essay on Forgiveness

Introduction.

Forgiveness, a virtue often preached yet seldom practiced, is the act of pardoning an offender. It is a complex psychological phenomenon that involves an intricate interplay between emotions, cognition, and actions.

The Significance of Forgiveness

The importance of forgiveness lies in its ability to release the negative emotions of anger, resentment, and the desire for retribution. This cathartic process promotes emotional well-being, reducing stress, and enhancing interpersonal relationships. It is a testament to human resilience and our capacity for empathy and compassion.

The Psychology of Forgiveness

From a psychological perspective, forgiveness is a conscious, deliberate decision to relinquish feelings of resentment or vengeance. This process involves a cognitive shift, a change in one’s attitude towards the offender, and a willingness to let go of negative emotions. It does not necessarily mean forgetting the offense or reconciling with the offender, but rather, it is about finding inner peace and moving on.

Forgiveness as a Social Construct

Sociologically, forgiveness is a social construct that helps maintain social harmony. It promotes reconciliation and prevents the perpetuation of a cycle of revenge and hostility. In this sense, forgiveness is an essential component of social cohesion and stability.

In conclusion, forgiveness is a powerful tool for personal growth and social harmony. It is a testament to human strength, resilience, and our capacity for empathy. The decision to forgive is a journey towards inner peace, one that requires courage, humility, and a profound understanding of the human condition.

500 Words Essay on Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a multifaceted concept, deeply embedded in human interactions and fundamental to the continuity of social relationships. It is a conscious decision to let go of resentment or vengeance towards an individual or group who has harmed us, regardless of whether they deserve our forgiveness.

The act of forgiveness is a psychological process that involves a change in emotion and attitude towards an offender. It is a voluntary and deliberate act that requires effort and emotional resilience. The process is often complex, involving feelings of hurt, anger, and betrayal. However, it also opens the door to healing, peace, and the possibility of reconciliation.

Psychologists suggest that forgiveness can be a transformative process that promotes mental health, reduces anxiety, and enhances our well-being. It is a coping strategy that allows us to deal with interpersonal conflicts and emotional injuries. By forgiving, we free ourselves from the chains of bitterness, enabling us to move forward without the burden of past hurts.

The Philosophy of Forgiveness

Philosophically, forgiveness is seen as a virtue, an act of grace and compassion. It is a moral decision to absolve another of their wrongdoings, not out of obligation, but out of understanding and empathy. This perspective emphasizes the ethical dimension of forgiveness, viewing it as a moral duty or obligation.

However, forgiveness does not mean forgetting or condoning the wrongdoings. It does not eliminate the need for justice or accountability. Instead, it allows us to separate the person from their actions, acknowledging the harm done while choosing to let go of the resentment it has caused.

Forgiveness in Practice

Practicing forgiveness requires a high degree of emotional intelligence and maturity. It begins with acknowledging the hurt and allowing oneself to feel the pain. The next step is to empathize with the offender, trying to understand their perspective. This is followed by making a conscious decision to forgive, which often involves a verbal or mental declaration of forgiveness.

Forgiveness is a personal journey and there is no right or wrong way to go about it. It can be a slow and challenging process, but it also brings about personal growth and emotional liberation.

In conclusion, forgiveness is a powerful tool for personal and social transformation. It is a complex process that involves a conscious decision to let go of resentment and anger. While it can be challenging, the benefits of forgiveness extend beyond the individual to the broader community, promoting peace, reconciliation, and social harmony. Ultimately, forgiveness is a testament to the strength of the human spirit and its capacity for compassion, understanding, and love.

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Forgiveness

Apology, Blame

Reviewed by Psychology Today Staff

Forgiveness is the release of resentment or anger . Forgiveness doesn’t mean reconciliation. One doesn't have to return to the same relationship or accept the same harmful behaviors from an offender.

Forgiveness is vitally important for the mental health of those who have been victimized. It propels people forward rather than keeping them emotionally engaged in an injustice or trauma . Forgiveness has been shown to elevate mood, enhance optimism , and guard against anger, stress , anxiety , and depression .

However, there are scenarios in which forgiveness is not the best course for a particular person. Sometimes a victim of sexual abuse becomes more empowered when they give themselves permission not to forgive.

• How to Forgive Others
• How to Forgive Yourself
• The Benefits of Forgiveness

Forgiveness can be challenging, especially when the offending party offers either an insincere apology or nothing at all. However, it’s often the healthiest path forward.

A prominent model, put forth by psychologist Robert Enright, delineates four steps of forgiveness. The first is to uncover your anger by exploring how you’ve avoided or addressed the emotion . The second is to make the decision to forgive. Begin by acknowledging that ignoring or coping with the offense hasn’t worked, and therefore forgiveness might provide a path forward.

Third, cultivate forgiveness by developing compassion for the offender. Reflect on whether the act was due to malicious intent or circumstances in the offender’s life. Lastly, release the harmful emotions and reflect on how you may have grown from the experience and the act of forgiveness itself.

Resentment can sometimes linger for years, even if we believe that we’ve “moved on” or “forgotten about it.” To release resentment, reflect on why the person may have committed the offense, sit with the pain, and then try to forgive the other person, because forgiveness can instill a sense of strength that overpowers bitterness. 

The decision to forgive an affair is deeply personal. A key component is for the partner who had the affair to be completely transparent and honest from that moment forward to rebuild trust in the relationship. This may involve exploring the reasons for the affair to address underlying problems and prevent infidelity in the future.

No. Everyone has the right to decide whether or not they forgive another person. There are many examples of people who have forgiven others for horrendous crimes, such as shooting them or killing their child. If forgiveness ultimately instills peace or healing, there is no action too severe for forgiveness.

No. Forgiveness and reconciliation are distinct concepts. Forgiveness is internal, and the process does not hinge on the offender offering an apology or reconciling afterward. 

Forgiving another person is one thing, but what happens when we commit the offense ourselves? It’s important to take responsibility for mistakes, but intense guilt and shame aren’t a productive outcome in the long run.

The process of self-forgiveness can be a painful challenge but deeply valuable. Key to this process is owning up to one’s mistakes, understanding why they occurred, and helping to rectify the situation.

Begin by acknowledging that you are at fault and take responsibility for the hurt you caused. Reflect on why the event occurred and identify how to avoid a similar offense in the future. Then forgive yourself by focusing on the thought, saying it aloud, or writing it down. Apologize to the person you wronged and try to improve their life in a meaningful way.

Mistakes often become attached to underlying beliefs about ourselves, such as “I always say the wrong things” or “I’ll never be able to cover my bills.” Self-forgiveness can require these beliefs to be identified and addressed first. This pitfall and others make self-forgiveness especially challenging.

If you’ve done everything you can to fix the mistake, but you continue to beat yourself up, try a technique called “self-distancing.” Switch your internal dialogue from first person to third person and consider how an outsider would see the situation. This can help cultivate self-compassion and silence your inner critic.

Forgiveness and Forgiveness Therapy have been linked to greater feelings of happiness , hopefulness, and optimism . The process of forgiveness can also protect against serious conditions such as anxiety and depression and post- traumatic stress disorder. The act was also shown to benefit cardiac patients, by significantly lowering their blood pressure.

Harboring anger and resentment leads to the body to release stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline whenever the person comes to mind. A steady stream of those chemicals can lead to stress and anxiety as well as dampen creativity and problem solving.

Forgiveness offers many  positive psychological developments, such as reducing unhealthy anger, repairing potentially valuable relationships, growing as a person, and exercising goodness in and of itself, no matter the response. In addition to personal benefits, modeling forgiveness for others may lead to intergenerational and even societal improvement.

Forgiveness therapy asks patients to confront injustice and emotional pain, and then work toward forgiveness to resolve unhealthy anger. This therapy, in conjunction with medication or cognitive behavioral therapy, can help treat depression.

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Resentment can have a corrosive effect on love. Reflection, communication, and gratitude are key to preserving it.

A Personal Perspective: Bill's early HIV diagnosis loomed large, but as death neared, the love and loyalty between us outshined the painful memories.

When someone's feelings are hurt, they can feel an urge to “do something about it,” take action, and consider enacting revenge. How can they instead arrive at forgiveness?

Children benefit from parents’ encouragement and instruction on how to offer a sincere apology to those they have hurt.

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We discuss our Replication Registered Report of McCullough's empathy model of forgiveness, the need for a science reform, and registered reports in improving science credibility.

The movie "One Life" is about irrational guilt and the difficulty of forgiving oneself for something one has no control over.

Forgiveness is a process that takes time and patience. Be gentle with yourself and celebrate the progress you make along the way.

Forgiveness can get complex. As we forgive, there is work to do as the one who offended can be open to seeking forgiveness. Then, together, the two can work on reconciliation.

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Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

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Frequently Asked Questions

Forgiveness is often defined as a deliberate decision to let go of feelings of anger , resentment, and retribution toward someone who you believe has wronged you. However, while you may be quite generous in your ability to forgive others , you may be much harder on yourself.

Everyone makes mistakes, but learning how to learn from these errors, let go, move on, and forgive yourself is important for mental health and well-being . Discovery why self-forgiveness can be beneficial and explore some steps that may help you learn how to forgive yourself.

Verywell / Brianna Gilmartin

Learning How to Forgive Yourself

Self-forgiveness is not about letting yourself off the hook, nor is it a sign of weakness. The act of forgiveness, whether you are forgiving yourself or someone who has wronged you, does not suggest that you are condoning the behavior. To forgive yourself, you should:

• Understand your emotions
• Accept responsibility for what happened
• Treat yourself with kindness and compassion
• Express remorse for your mistakes
• Make amends and apologize (including apologizing to yourself)
• Look for ways to learn from the experience
• Focus on making better choices in the future

Forgiveness means that you accept the behavior, you accept what has happened, and you are willing to move past it and move on with your life without ruminating over past events that cannot be changed. One therapeutic approach to self-forgiveness suggests that four key actions can be helpful.

The 4 R's of Self-Forgiveness

• Responsibility
• Restoration

Get Help Now

We've tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of the best online therapy programs including Talkspace, BetterHelp, and ReGain. Find out which option is the best for you.

Understand Your Emotions

Becoming aware of the emotions you are experiencing is an important part of learning to forgive yourself. Research has found that identifying and labeling your emotion can help reduce the intensity of your feelings. This can help you better regulate emotions, including those linked to feelings of guilt and shame.

Accept Responsibility for Your Actions

Forgiving yourself is about more than just putting the past behind you and moving on. It is about accepting what has happened and showing compassion to yourself.  

Facing what you have done or what has happened is the first step toward self-forgiveness. It's also the hardest step. If you have been making excuses, rationalizing, or justifying your actions in order to make them seem acceptable, it is time to face up and accept what you have done.

By taking responsibility and accepting that you have engaged in actions that have hurt others, you can avoid negative emotions, such as excessive regret and guilt.

Treat Yourself With Kindness and Compassion

Forgiving yourself requires confronting your actions and showing remorse for what happened, but it is important to approach this with self-compassion. The key is to treat yourself with the same kindness that you would show to another person. Try to avoid being self-critical and instead be compassionate while still acknowledging that you made a mistake and want to do better in the future.

Express Remorse for Your Mistakes

As a result of taking responsibility, you may experience a range of negative feelings, including guilt and shame. When you've done something wrong, it's completely normal, even healthy, to feel guilty about it. These feelings of guilt and remorse can serve as a springboard to positive behavior change.  

While guilt implies that you're a good person who did something bad, shame makes you see yourself as a bad person. This can bring up feelings of worthlessness which, left unresolved, can lead to addiction , depression , and aggression .   Understand that making mistakes that you feel guilty about does not make you a bad person or undermine your intrinsic value.

Make Amends and Apologize

Making amends is an important part of forgiveness, even when the person you are forgiving is yourself. Just as you might not forgive someone else until they've made it up to you in some way, forgiving yourself is more likely to stick when you feel like you've earned it.

One way to move past your guilt is to take action to rectify your mistakes.   Apologize if it is called for and look for ways that you can make it up to whomever you have hurt.

It may seem as if this portion of the process benefits only the person you've harmed, but there's something in it for you as well. Fixing your mistake means you'll never have to wonder if you could have done more.

Learn From the Experience

Everyone makes mistakes and has things for which they feel sorry or regretful. Falling into the trap of rumination, self-hatred , or even pity can be damaging and make it difficult to maintain your self-esteem and motivation.

Forgiving yourself often requires finding a way to learn from the experience and grow as a person. To do this, you need to understand why you behaved the way you did and why you feel guilty. What steps can you take to prevent the same behaviors again in the future? Yes, you might have messed up, but it was a learning experience that can help you make better choices in the future.

Try to Do Better

Forgiving yourself also means making an active effort to do better in the future. As you approach similar situations, reflect on how you felt about your past mistakes. Rather than feeling guilty about those past errors, remind yourself about what you learned and how you can use that knowledge and experience to guide your actions going forward.

Get Advice From The Verywell Mind Podcast

Hosted by therapist Amy Morin, LCSW, this episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast shares why it's OK to give second chances, featuring Purple Heart recipient Craig Rossi and Fred.

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Limitations of Forgiving Yourself

While self-forgiveness is a powerful practice, it's important to recognize that this model is not intended for people who unfairly blame themselves for something they aren't responsible for.

People who have suffered abuse, trauma , or loss, for example, may feel shame and guilt even though they had no control.   This can be particularly true when people feel they should have been able to predict, and therefore avoid, a negative outcome (an example of what is known as the hindsight bias ).  

Benefits of Forgiving Yourself

The standard axiom within psychology has been that forgiveness is a good thing and that it conveys a number of benefits, whether you have experienced a minor slight or have suffered a much more serious grievance. This includes both forgiving others as well as yourself.

Mental Health

Letting go and offering yourself forgiveness can help boost your feelings of wellness and improve your image of yourself. Numerous studies have demonstrated that when people practice self-forgiveness, they experience lower levels of depression and anxiety.   Similarly, self-compassion is associated with higher levels of success, productivity, focus, and concentration.

Physical Health

The act of forgiveness can also positively impact your physical health. Research shows that forgiveness can improve cholesterol levels, reduce bodily pain, and blood pressure, and lower your risk of a heart attack.  

Relationships

Having a compassionate and forgiving attitude toward yourself is also a critical component of successful relationships.   Being able to forge close emotional bonds with other people is important, but so is the ability to repair those bonds when they become fraught or damaged.

One study found that both parties benefit from the "offending partner" showing self-forgiveness. Specifically, both partners tended to feel more relationship satisfaction and have fewer negative thoughts about each other as a result of genuine self-forgiveness.  

Challenges in Forgiving Yourself

So what is it that makes self-forgiveness so difficult at times? Why do people often continue to punish and berate themselves over relatively minor mistakes? Engaging in actions that are not in line with our own values or self-beliefs can lead to feelings of guilt and regret—or worse, self-loathing .  

Some people are just naturally more prone to rumination , which can make it easier to dwell on negative feelings. The fact that self-forgiveness involves acknowledging wrongdoing and admitting that you might need to change can make the process more challenging.  

Lastly, people who are not yet ready to change may find it harder to truly forgive themselves. Instead, of admitting they might need to change, they might engage in a sort of pseudo-self-forgiveness by simply overlooking or excusing their behavior.  

Potential Drawbacks of Forgiving Yourself

While self-forgiveness is generally thought of as a positive action that can help restore the sense of self, there is also research indicating that it can sometimes have a detrimental effect. The major pitfall of self-forgiveness is that it can sometimes reduce empathy for those who have been hurt by your actions.

Although self-forgiveness often relieves feelings of guilt, there are times this inward focus may make it more difficult to identify with others.   You can avoid this by consciously practicing empathy with those who have been affected by your actions.

Letting go of the guilt you feel often takes time. Focus on self-compassion, apologize if needed, and work on making amends. Instead of ruminating on feelings of guilt, focus on what you've learned and how you plan to do better going forward.

There are a number of reasons why you might be struggling to forgive yourself. It might be because you're worried about making the same mistake again. Or perhaps you're worried about how facing your actions might undermine your self-image or damage your self-esteem. In such cases, taking gradual steps to truly change can be helpful. Talking to a mental health professional can help you process your feelings, develop new coping skills, and find ways to avoid the same mistakes in the future.

The more serious your mistake, the longer it may take to move past it. Regret can be normal, but it is important to take steps to move past it. You might feel grief about what happened, but it is important to allow yourself to feel and accept your emotions.

As you move forward, pay attention to the things you are doing to change and learn from the experience, and focus on the feelings of gratitude for what you've learned and the opportunity you have to keep trying.

A Word From Verywell

Forgiving people who have hurt you can be challenging, but forgiving yourself can be just as difficult. It is important to remember that learning how to forgive yourself is not a one-size-fits-all process.

It is never simple or easy, but working on this form of self-compassion can convey a number of possible health benefits.   In addition to reducing stress, depression, and anxiety, self-forgiveness can also have positive effects on your physical health and relationships.

Peterson SJ, Van Tongeren DR, Womack SD, Hook JN, Davis DE, Griffin BJ. The benefits of self-forgiveness on mental health: Evidence from correlational and experimental research . J Posit Psychol . 2017;12(2):159-168. doi:10.1080/17439760.2016.1163407

Nolen-Hoeksema S, Wisco BE, Lyubomirsky S. Rethinking rumination . Perspect Psychol Sci . 2008;3(5):400-424. doi:10.1111/j.1745-6924.2008.00088.x

Cornish MA, Wade NG. A therapeutic model of self-forgiveness with intervention strategies for counselors . Journal of Counseling & Development . 2015;93(1):96-104. doi:10.1002/j.1556-6676.2015.00185.x

Torre JB, Lieberman MD.  Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling as implicit emotion regulation .  Emotion Review . 2018;10(2):116-124. doi:10.1177/1754073917742706

Zhang JW, Chen S, Tomova Shakur TK. From me to you: Self-compassion predicts acceptance of own and others' imperfections . Pers Soc Psychol Bull . 2020;46(2):228-242. doi:10.1177/0146167219853846

Pierro A, Pica G, Giannini AM, Higgins ET, Kruglanski AW. "Letting myself go forward past wrongs": How regulatory modes affect self-forgiveness . PLoS ONE . 2018;13(3):e0193357. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0193357

Rahim M, Patton R. The association between shame and substance use in young people: A systematic review . PeerJ . 2015;3:e737. doi:10.7717/peerj.737

Whited MC, Wheat AL, Larkin KT. The influence of forgiveness and apology on cardiovascular reactivity and recovery in response to mental stress . J Behav Med . 2010;33(4):293-304. doi:10.1007/s10865-010-9259-7

Conversano C, Rotondo A, Lensi E, Della Vista O, Arpone F, Reda MA. Optimism and its impact on mental and physical well-being . Clin Pract Epidemiol Ment Health . 2010;6:25-9. doi:10.2174/1745017901006010025

Taylor TF.  The influence of shame on posttrauma disorders: Have we failed to see the obvious? .  Eur J Psychotraumatol . 2015;6:28847. doi:10.3402/ejpt.v6.28847

Roese NJ, Vohs KD.  Hindsight bias .  Perspect Psychol Sci . 2012;7(5):411-26. doi:10.1177/1745691612454303

Rasmussen KR, Stackhouse M, Boon SD, Comstock K, Ross R. Meta-analytic connections between forgiveness and health: The moderating effects of forgiveness-related distinctions . Psychol Health . 2019;34(5):515-534. doi:10.1080/08870446.2018.1545906

Pelucchi S, Paleari FG, Regalia C, Fincham FD. Self-forgiveness in romantic relationships: It matters to both of us . J Fam Psychol . 2013;27(4):541-549. doi:10.1037/a0032897

Callan MJ, Kay AC, Dawtry RJ. Making sense of misfortune: Deservingness, self-esteem, and patterns of self-defeat . J Pers Soc Psychol . 2014;107(1):142-162. doi:10.1037/a0036640

Breines J. The healthy way to forgive yourself . Greater Good Magazine . August 23, 2012. 

By Kendra Cherry, MSEd Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

Greater Good Science Center • Magazine • In Action • In Education

Forgiveness Defined

What is forgiveness.

Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.

Just as important as defining what forgiveness is , though, is understanding what forgiveness is not . Experts who study or teach forgiveness make clear that when you forgive, you do not gloss over or deny the seriousness of an offense against you. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, nor does it mean condoning or excusing offenses. Though forgiveness can help repair a damaged relationship, it doesn’t obligate you to reconcile with the person who harmed you, or release them from legal accountability.

Instead, forgiveness brings the forgiver peace of mind and frees him or her from corrosive anger. While there is some debate over whether true forgiveness requires positive feelings toward the offender, experts agree that it at least involves letting go of deeply held negative feelings. In that way, it empowers you to recognize the pain you suffered without letting that pain define you, enabling you to heal and move on with your life.

While early research focused on forgiveness of others by individuals, new areas of research are starting to examine the benefits of group forgiveness and self-forgiveness .

For More: Read forgiveness expert Fred Luskin’s essay, “ What Is Forgiveness? ,” and Jack Kornfield’s thoughts on what forgiveness means . Learn more about forgiveness research in this summary of key studies and recent white paper , and consider: Is anything unforgiveable?

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Why Practice It?

We often think of forgiveness as a kind, magnanimous act—an act of mercy or compassion extended to someone who wronged us. While that can be true, research over the past few decades has revealed enormous personal benefits to forgiveness as well. According to that research, here are some of the most compelling ways forgiveness is good for us, our relationships, and our communities.

• Forgiveness makes us happier : Research suggests not only that happy people are more likely to forgive but that forgiving others can make people feel happy , especially when they forgive someone to whom they feel close.
• Forgiveness protects our mental health : People who receive therapy designed to foster forgiveness experience greater improvements in depression, anxiety, and hope than those who don’t. Forgiveness may also play a role in preventing suicide .
• Forgiveness improves our health : When we dwell on grudges, our blood pressure and heart rate spike—signs of stress which damage the body; when we forgive, our stress levels drop, and people who are more forgiving are protected from the negative health effects of stress . Studies also suggest that holding grudges might compromise our immune system, making us less resistant to illness.
• Forgiveness sustains relationships : When our friends inevitably hurt or disappoint us, holding a grudge makes us less likely to sacrifice or cooperate with them, which undermines feelings of trust and commitment, driving us further apart. Studies suggest that forgiveness can stop this downward spiral and repair our relationship before it dissolves.
• Forgiveness is good for marriages (most of the time): Spouses who are more forgiving and less vindictive are better at resolving conflicts effectively in their marriage. A long-term study of newlyweds found that more forgiving spouses had stronger, more satisfying relationships . However, when more forgiving spouses were frequently mistreated by their husband or wife, they became less satisfied with their marriage.
• Forgiveness boosts kindness and connectedness : People who feel forgiving don’t only feel more positive toward someone who hurt them. They are also more likely to want to volunteer and donate money to charity, and they feel more connected to other people in general.
• Forgiveness can help heal the wounds of war: A research-based forgiveness training program in Rwanda , for instance, was linked to reduced trauma and more positive attitudes between the Hutus and Tutsis there. A study of people who learned forgiveness skills in war-torn Sierra Leone found that they reported feeling less depressed, more grateful, more satisfied with life, and less stressed afterward. Perhaps most famously, South Africa’s Truth and Reconciliation Commission is widely credited with encouraging forgiveness and reconciliation after the end of apartheid in that country. Archbishop Desmond Tutu , the commission’s chairman, has argued that forgiveness is the path to “true enduring peace.”
• Forgiveness is good for kids and teens: Kids who are more forgiving toward their friends have higher well-being. Forgiveness training can help adolescent girls who are bullies and bullied decrease their anger, aggression, and delinquency, while increasing their empathy and improving their grades.
• Forgiveness is good for workplaces : Employees who are more forgiving are also more productive and take fewer days off, partly thanks to reduced stress around their relationships.
• People who practice self-forgiveness tend to have better physical and mental health . Forgiving ourselves may also improve our relationships .

For More: Learn more about the benefits of forgiveness in researcher Everett Worthington’s article, “ The New Science of Forgiveness ,” and in Archbishop Desmond Tutu’s essay, “ Forgiveness + Reconciliation .”

How Do I Cultivate It?

According to Robert Enright , Fred Luskin , and other experts, forgiveness isn’t just for the deeply magnanimous among us; it’s both a choice and a trainable skill that almost anyone can learn. Fortunately, research suggests that the capacity for forgiveness is an intrinsic part of human nature . Here are some research-based strategies for tapping into that capacity, whether you’re trying to forgive others, forgive yourself, or seek forgiveness from someone else.

• View forgiveness as something for you, not a gift to someone else: In his Nine Steps to Forgiveness program, Fred Luskin emphasizes that forgiveness is best seen as something that will bring you peace, closure, and reduce your suffering—a point echoed by Jack Kornfield in this video.
• Articulate your emotions : If you want to forgive or be forgiven, be willing to express how you’re feeling to others and to yourself. Ruminating on negative feelings is both unhealthy and unproductive. As the GGSC’s Christine Carter argues, this is an important lesson to teach kids as well.
• Look for the silver lining: This can be a controversial tip, but research suggests that after someone hurts you, you can forgive more easily by reflecting on the personal benefits you may have gained through the transgression. Writing about those benefits might be especially helpful.
• Make an effective apology: If you’re seeking forgiveness from others, studies suggest that apologizing will help—but weak apologies might only make things worse. Researcher Aaron Lazare has studied apologies for years, concluding that an effective apology has four parts: It acknowledges the offense, offers an explanation for the offense, expresses remorse or shame, and involves a reparation of some kind.
• Cultivate empathy : When someone has been hurt, they’ll be more likely to forgive—and less likely to retaliate—if they can sense or imagine the distress or remorse felt by the person who hurt them. This might explain why apologies foster forgiveness.
• Practice mindfulness: Training in mindfulness can help college students become more forgiving, perhaps because awareness of painful feelings is part of the process of forgiveness. More mindful people are also more forgiving of betrayal .
• Humanize the Other through contact : Research in Northern Ireland found that people on both sides of the violence there were more likely to forgive if they came into contact with someone from the other side, perhaps because it reduced feelings of anger and encouraged them to see the other’s humanity.
• Don’t let yourself off too easy: Research suggests that forgiving yourself for mistakes can sometimes reduce your empathy for others and your motivation to make amends. For a more healthy way to forgive yourself, read these research-based steps , which include empathizing with your victim and honestly reflecting on what you did wrong, or follow this process recommended by Rick Hanson.
• Seek peace, not justice: In his forgiveness program , Robert Enright emphasizes that forgiveness is separate from justice. The people who hurt you may never get their just desserts, but that shouldn’t prevent you from moving on with your life.
• Understand that forgiveness is a process : True forgiveness doesn’t happen in an instant; instead, it takes time and energy to achieve, and might not come easily.
• Overcome barriers to forgiveness: Research reveals some common fears and concerns to address if we are resistant to forgiving.
• Foster a forgiving school: Build a school climate of care and fairness in order to facilitate forgiveness among teachers and staff.
• Raise forgiving kids : Parents can help kids learn forgiveness by modeling it themselves, and allowing kids to move through the process of forgiveness at their own pace.

For more: Check out Christine Carter’s tips for teaching forgiveness skills to children, adapted from Luskin’s nine steps. And she offers these tips for fostering forgiveness in families.

Leading forgiveness researchers have also developed their own evidence-based programs to foster forgiveness, including the following.

• Luskin’s Nine Steps to Forgiveness , which involve a mix of cognitive and meditative strategies, from articulating your grievance to shifting your expectations from life to revising the way you look at your past.
• Robert Enright’s Forgiveness Process Model , which consists of 20 steps divided into four phases : the Uncovering Phase , where one becomes aware of the true emotional stress he has suffered; the Decision Phase , where one commits to forgiving rather than continuing to focus exclusively on his suffering; the Work Phase , where one comes to accept—but not condone—the pain he has suffered, no matter how undeserved; and finally the Outcome/Deepening Phase , where one recognizes the relief and meaning he is gaining from forgiveness. Read Enright’s tips for moving through this process .
• Everett Worthington’s REACH method for forgiveness, which involves five steps: R ecall the hurt, E mpathize with the person who hurt you, offer an A ltruistic gift of forgiveness, C ommit to forgive (ideally publicly), and H old onto that forgiveness.

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• Adult health

Forgiveness: Letting go of grudges and bitterness

When someone you care about hurts you, you can hold on to anger and resentment — or embrace forgiveness and move forward.

Who hasn't been hurt by the actions or words of another? Perhaps a parent constantly criticized you growing up, a colleague sabotaged a project or your partner had an affair. Or maybe you've had a traumatic experience, such as being physically or emotionally abused by someone close to you. These wounds can leave lasting feelings of resentment, bitterness and anger — sometimes even hatred.

But if you hold on to that pain, you might be the one who pays most dearly. By embracing forgiveness, you also can embrace peace and hope. Consider how forgiveness can lead you down the path of physical, emotional and spiritual well-being.

What is forgiveness?

Forgiveness means different things to different people. But in general, it involves an intentional decision to let go of resentment and anger.

The act that hurt or offended you might always be with you. But working on forgiveness can lessen that act's grip on you. It can help free you from the control of the person who harmed you. Sometimes, forgiveness might even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you.

Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting or excusing the harm done to you. It also doesn't necessarily mean making up with the person who caused the harm. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that allows you to focus on yourself and helps you go on with life.

What are the benefits of forgiving someone?

Letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for improved health and peace of mind. Forgiveness can lead to:

• Healthier relationships.
• Improved mental health.
• Less anxiety, stress and hostility.
• Fewer symptoms of depression.
• Lower blood pressure.
• A stronger immune system.
• Improved heart health.
• Improved self-esteem.

Why is it so easy to hold a grudge?

Being hurt by someone, particularly someone you love and trust, can cause anger, sadness and confusion. If you dwell on hurtful events or situations, grudges filled with resentment and hostility can take root. If you allow negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by bitterness or a sense of injustice.

Some people are naturally more forgiving than others. But even if you tend to hold a grudge, almost anyone can learn to be more forgiving.

What are the effects of holding a grudge?

If you struggle with finding forgiveness, you might:

• Bring anger and bitterness into new relationships and experiences.
• Become so wrapped up in the wrong that you can't enjoy the present.
• Become depressed, irritable or anxious.
• Feel at odds with your spiritual beliefs.
• Lose valuable and enriching connections with others.

How do I move toward a state of forgiveness?

Forgiveness is a commitment to change. It takes practice. To move toward forgiveness, you might:

• Recognize the value of forgiveness and how it can improve your life.
• Identify what needs healing and who you want to forgive.
• Join a support group or see a counselor.
• Acknowledge your emotions about the harm done to you, recognize how those emotions affect your behavior, and work to release them.
• Choose to forgive the person who's offended you.
• Release the control and power that the offending person and situation have had in your life.

What happens if I can't forgive someone?

Forgiveness can be hard, especially if the person who hurt you doesn't admit wrongdoing. If you find yourself stuck:

• Practice empathy. Try seeing the situation from the other person's point of view.
• Ask yourself about the circumstances that may have led the other person to behave in such a way. Perhaps you would have reacted similarly if you faced the same situation.
• Reflect on times when others have forgiven you.
• Write in a journal, pray or use guided meditation. Or talk with a person you've found to be wise and compassionate, such as a spiritual leader, a mental health provider, or an impartial loved one or friend.
• Be aware that forgiveness is a process. Even small hurts may need to be revisited and forgiven again and again.

Does forgiveness guarantee reconciliation?

If the hurtful event involved someone whose relationship you value, forgiveness may lead to reconciliation. But that isn't always the case.

Reconciliation might be impossible if the offender has died or is unwilling to communicate with you. In other cases, reconciliation might not be appropriate. Still, forgiveness is possible — even if reconciliation isn't.

What if the person I'm forgiving doesn't change?

Getting another person to change isn't the point of forgiveness. It's about focusing on what you can control in the here and now. Think of forgiveness more about how it can change your life by bringing you peace, happiness, and emotional and spiritual healing. Forgiveness can take away the power the other person continues to have in your life.

What if I'm the one who needs forgiveness?

The first step is to honestly assess and acknowledge the wrongs you've done and how they have affected others. Avoid judging yourself too harshly.

If you're truly sorry for something you've said or done and want forgiveness, consider reaching out to those you've harmed. Speak of your sincere sorrow or regret. Ask for forgiveness without making excuses.

You can't force someone to forgive you. Others need to move to forgiveness in their own time. Remember, forgiveness is a process. Whatever happens, commit to treating others with compassion, empathy and respect.

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• Rakel D, ed. Forgiveness. In: Integrative Medicine. 4th ed. Elsevier; 2018. https://www.clinicalkey.com. Accessed Nov. 2, 2022.
• Forgiveness can improve mental and physical health. American Psychological Association. https://www.apa.org/monitor/2017/01/ce-corner.aspx. Accessed Nov. 2, 2022.
• Silva RS, et al. Forgiveness facilitation in palliative care: A scoping review. JBI Evidence Synthesis. 2020; doi:10.11124/JBISRIR-D-19-00286.
• Martinez-Diaz P, et al. Victim's perspective of forgiveness seeking behaviors after transgressions. Frontiers in Psychology. 2021; doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2021.656689.
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The Ethics of Forgiveness: A Collection of Essays

Christel Fricke (ed.), The Ethics of Forgiveness: A Collection of Essays , Routledge, 2011, 212pp., $125.00 (hbk), ISBN 9780415885430.

Reviewed by Linda Radzik, Texas A&M University

Christel Fricke's rich collection of essays arose from a conference held in Oslo in 2008 on Charles L. Griswold's 2007 book Forgiveness . However, very little of the text is spent critiquing Griswold's work. Instead, Fricke's authors use Griswold's text as a map that points to areas worthy of further exploration. Like Griswold, most of these writers resist the temptation to develop simple, unified accounts of forgiveness and instead dedicate themselves to plotting the complexities of human interaction in the aftermath of wrongdoing. The examples the authors use along the way range from subtle, personal failings to large-scale atrocities. While most of the contributions are works in moral theory, the volume also represents other disciplinary approaches to issues of forgiveness, including literary criticism and linguistics. The result is a satisfyingly diverse range of perspectives on the nature, justification and limits of forgiveness.

Part I includes a pair of essays dedicated to the interpretation of particular, historical traditions of forgiveness. In "Forgiveness and Forbearance in Ancient China," Christoph Harbsmeier surveys the language of forgiveness in Chinese, arguing that, "for a Chinese person to forgive, is always to forgive 'in terms of' one of the concepts outlined" (21). Harbsmeier goes on to present twenty-nine different terms in ancient and modern Chinese related to "forgiveness." To me, their differences were not as remarkable as their similarity. All seemed to portray forgiveness as a matter of letting the wrongdoer off, in some way, from the possible consequences of wrongdoing. Shù , which Harbsmeier suggests as the best translation for 'forgiveness,' involves a general sort of empathetic forbearance.

So far, the virtue of shù will seem familiar enough to contemporary Westerners. But Harbsmeier emphasizes that it must be understood in a hierarchically structured culture, where, he tells us, "egalitarianism is not in any way envisaged or aspired to at any level, practical or psychological" (13). Shù is something one shows to people below oneself on the social scale. What one owes to people above oneself is, in contrast, zhong , "doing one's moral best" (22). When those above oneself commit wrongs, then, the question of forgiveness does not really arise. Instead the question for the underling is how to continue to do his duty to his superior in this new context. Harbsmeier's analysis helps explain, for example, why in China the question "whether they forgive or do not forgive Deng Xiaoping [for the Tiananmen Square massacre of 1989] has become purely academic (i.e., quite irrelevant)" (14).

Ilaria E. Ramelli's contribution on forgiveness in Christian thought argues that what is almost invariably labeled as "the Christian view" is historically inaccurate. It is commonplace for contemporary writers on the ethics of forgiveness to assert that Christianity requires its followers to forgive wrongs unconditionally , that is, to forgive whether or not their abusers have met any conditions, such as apologizing, repenting or making amends. Ramelli painstakingly reviews an impressive range of ancient sources to show that, throughout the early history of Christianity, forgiveness was always predicated on repentance. Her argument is so convincing that I was left wondering how it has come to be that most contemporary writers -- and, I would add, all my students who self-identify as Christians -- have come to see a commitment to unconditional forgiveness as central to Christianity.

Part II on "Forgiveness and Selfhood" begins with Fricke's contribution, "What We Cannot Do to Each Other: On Forgiveness and Moral Vulnerability." Fricke provides an admirable description of the normative terrain of forgiveness and specifically the interconnections between moral and social norms. Fricke anchors her discussion of forgiveness in a social, relational understanding of the nature and consequences of moral wrongdoing. Wrongdoing damages the trust that normally marks relations among victims, wrongdoers and their communities; forgiveness is one way of repairing that damage.

Fricke goes on to emphasize that, as complex selves, we relate to one another, not just as moral agents, but also as friends, partners and neighbors. This leads her to distinguish between personal forgiveness, in which personal relationships such as friendships are repaired, and moral forgiveness, in which victims come to once again see their abusers as having intrinsic moral value as human beings. She argues plausibly that one may morally forgive a wrongdoer without personally forgiving. I was less convinced by her claim that "personal forgiveness always implies moral forgiveness" because "any close personal relationship includes mutual respect of moral value or dignity" (63). Might not someone who does not value humanity as such (say, a mafia hitman) value his personal relationships (with other mafiosos)? This combination of attitudes may not be able to be held in a fully, rationally consistent way, but it seems psychologically possible. The last portion of the essay poses the question of whether wrongdoers can deserve forgiveness and victims can be morally required to forgive in either of the two senses of forgiveness; however, Fricke provides no clear answers to those questions.

The next pair of articles pursues Griswold's claim that forgiveness requires a narration of the past, one which will both acknowledge its wrongful character yet allow for the forgiver to overcome her negative attitudes toward the wrongdoer. Garry L. Hagberg and Peter Goldie each ask how this might work in cases of self-forgiveness. Both worry whether "in self-forgiveness there is not the possibility of a narrative accounting from an appropriate distanced perspective" (Goldie, 83-4). In "Self-Forgiveness and the Narrative Sense of Self," Goldie suggests that such distancing is enabled by the wrongdoer's ability to think about herself in a way that is "essentially ironic" and involves seeing one's past, wrongdoing self as, in a sense, another person (87):

This opens up the epistemic and evaluative ironic gap that is at the heart of the notion of narrative: an epistemic gap because one now knows what one did not know then; and an evaluative gap because one can now take an evaluative stance which differs from the stance that one took then (87).

Hagberg, in "Forgiveness and the Constitution of Selfhood," rejects this dyadic view of the self as phenomenologically inaccurate. Instead, he believes that self-forgiveness is enabled by "one identity seeing bi-focally, not two persons gazing from a distance upon each other" (75). Hagberg draws on literary concepts to explain his view, comparing self-forgiveness to the experience of reading fiction, wherein "we simultaneously identify with a character in fiction but also stand apart from that narratively-entwined persona" (75). For Hagberg, this narrative process is not performed by a later self that is independently distinguishable from the wrongdoing self, but is instead what constitutes the new, forgivable self. Both Goldie's and Hagberg's essays provide satisfyingly complex examples of processes of self-forgiveness. Goldie's essay is also notable for its discussion of the odd case of self-pardoning, in which one regards one's own action as involuntary on the grounds that the circumstances overstrained one's nature without actually undermining one's freedom.

Part III includes six essays that address the limits of forgiveness, that is, a variety of possible restrictions on the possibility or permissibility of forgiveness. For example, almost all theorists of forgiveness claim that forgiveness is not possible where there is no wrong. But in "Forgiveness Without Blame," Espen Gamlund defends the position that forgiveness can occur even when harm-causing is not blameworthy but rather excused or justified. Cases of agent-regret (such as the regret felt by an unlucky driver who faultlessly kills a child), disagreements over culpability between the harmed and the harm-causer, and moral dilemmas all present disruptions to peace of mind and social relations that can be solved by the sorts of interactions and changes in view that we associate with forgiveness and self-forgiveness. While critics may insist that forgiveness requires culpability by definition, Gamlund's discussion will lead many readers to find such a stipulation unsatisfying.

A major debate in the literature on forgiveness is whether forgiveness is "conditional," meaning that forgiveness is only appropriate in cases where the wrongdoer has met some sort of requirement, such as repentance or moral improvement. Jerome Neu's essay, "On Loving Our Enemies," defends the conditional view. Drawing on work by Jeffrie Murphy, Neu argues that resentment is a morally appropriate reaction to being victimized that can be set aside only for a moral reason. Also working within a conditional framework, Arne Johan Vetlesen asks whether there are cases where no moral reason could justify forgiveness and where forgiveness is, therefore, wrong. In this rather unwieldy essay, Vetlesen emphasizes the relevance of the characteristics of the wrongful acts themselves, rather than the characteristics of the agents who perform the acts, claiming that "some acts are worse, morally speaking, than any individual agent" (161).

Eve Garrard and David McNaughton, in contrast to Neu and Vetlesen, defend the position that forgiveness is unconditional by addressing objections posed by Griswold and others. The authors argue that some critics of unconditional forgiveness conflate two senses in which forgiveness can be unconditional: "(1) forgiving no matter what condition the wrongdoer is in; and (2) forgiving no matter what the reason for doing so is" (102). While defending the view that "there is sufficient reason to forgive a wrongdoer whatever his state of mind" (97), Garrard and McNaughton go on to identify reasons for extending such unmerited forgiveness. While the points made in favor of unconditional forgiveness are perhaps not novel, the skill with which the issues are explained and defended makes this essay a good candidate for course syllabuses on forgiveness.

Geoffrey Scarre strays slightly from the theme of forgiveness to look at issues of apology. In "Apologising for Historic Injustices," Scarre dives into the controversy surrounding Australia's official apology to the "Stolen Generations," which addressed the century-long practice of removing aboriginal children from their parents' care, a practice that ended only in the late 1960s or early 1970s. In 2008, Prime Minister Kevin Rudd delivered an official apology for this history, which was met with general approval from both the aboriginal and settler populations. Scarre argues that the apology was not appropriate because the people doing the apologizing did not have "ownership" of the wrongful deeds. While he defends the legitimacy of "insider-regret," a particular form of negative reactive attitude towards one's group's historical injustices, Scarre denies that this attitude can ground the practice of apology. Debates about the nature of collective responsibility are well established in the literature and are not much advanced by the arguments to be found here. However, Scarre's essay does provide opportunity for reflection on the nature and functions of apology. Scarre's clear and straightforward account of when an apology can be given and what functions it can perform is quite narrow and so leaves the reader reflecting on what a broader concept of apology might look like.

Finally, literary scholar Jakob Lothe provides a reading of W. G. Sebald's novel Austerlitz . Sebald was a writer who was born in Germany in 1944 but who lived most of his adult life in England. His fiction and non-fiction writings have become important to current discussions of how German identity has been shaped by the memory of World War II and the Holocaust. The narrator of the novel, who, like Sebald, is a German exile of the immediate postwar generation, develops an unusual friendship with a Jewish man who survived the Holocaust as a child and is now attempting to recover the story of his parents' lives and deaths in the camps. Lothe argues that Sebald's narrative techniques reveal that the main theme of the novel is forgiveness. This claim remains puzzling for much of the essay, but by the end it becomes clear that Lothe's theme is not 'what is involved in granting forgiveness,' but instead 'what it is like to feel the need to be forgiven for the injustices of previous generations.' As such, the essay is fruitfully paired with Scarre's contribution.

Griswold, C. L., Forgiveness: A Philosophical Exploration , Cambridge University Press, (2007).

Murphy, J. G. and J. Hampton (eds.), Forgiveness and Mercy , Cambridge University Pres, (1988).

Murphy, J. G., Getting Even , Oxford University Press, (2003).

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6 Powerful Essays on Forgiveness to Feel Better! [ 2024 ]

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Forgiveness is the greatest human virtue. Forgiveness is nobler than revenge. It heals and provides relief. Here, we have tried to write an Essay on Forgiveness that covers; forgiveness is not the sign of weakness, it is nobler and divine and better than revenge.

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Essay On Forgiveness | Forgiveness Essay For Children & Students

Forgiveness means to remove negative thoughts about people who have hurt us and forget their mistakes. It is a decision to release feelings of vengeance towards someone who has harmed us. It means to let go of the problem that someone has caused in our life and give that person a second chance.

Importance of Forgiveness

The term forgiveness has a strong connection with person’s physical and mental health. If a person does not have a strong heart to forgive others then he will stay in constant anger, depression and anxiety. This will also affect his health.

Forgiveness can help to repair damaged relationships. It brings peace of mind to forgiver. If we forgive others then it sets us free from stress and anger.

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If we do not forgive others and hold grudge against them that we will always have a bad feeling inside us. We will always feel hatred because of so much bitterness in our mind and heart. It is a fact that people who forgive others easily are much satisfied from inside than those who keep grudges against others.

Meaning of Forgiveness

Now a days, people prefer to stay apart from their relatives rather than forgiving them. In this fast world, everyone is so busy in work that they do not have time for each other.

If there is a misunderstanding between people then they prefer to cut communication with that person instead of forgiving him. Many people also consider it their defeat to admit that they have hurt other person.

It is important to remember that there is no loss in admitting and apologizing for your mistake. To be able to forgive others, we should first forgive our self.

It means that if a person is guilty about something then he should accept that mistake and move forward. If he cannot forgive himself for his mistakes then he will not be able to leave his past behind. He will always stay in constant regret and stress. Therefore, he should forgive himself first to free his heart from angry emotions.

All of us have some people in our life who we do not like for different reasons. We do not want to talk to them because they have hurt us through their actions.

Instead of ignoring them, we think of plans to get even and let them feel the same pain that they have caused us. It is not a right thing to do.

This is not what our religion teaches us to do. Anger is not something that we should hold in. We should understand that forgiving someone does not make a person weak.

It means that a person is strong and brave enough to forget the mistakes of others. Indeed, forgiving is not an easy task.

Understanding the situation in which other person has lied, understanding the whole situation and trusting the same person again are some of the hard aspects of this subject.

In order to forgive others, it is important to think about the whole situation with a calm mind. The best thing to do is think about what happened and try to understand that why other person would such thing, then it will get easier to decide why he should be forgiven.

As a human being, we should accept that it is in human nature to make mistakes. No one is perfect in this world. Therefore, we should forgive others with big heart instead of taking the issue to heart. If we forget mistakes of others and free our mind from all the negative thoughts then this world would become a happy place to live in peacefully.

10 Lines on Forgiveness:

• Forgiveness is an important life skill that every child should learn. It allows them to let go of anger and resentment towards others, leading to a happier and more peaceful life.
• Teaching children about forgiveness helps them understand the importance of empathy and compassion towards others. This can lead to stronger and healthier relationships with friends, family, and even strangers.
• Children who learn how to forgive also tend to have higher levels of self-esteem as they are able to move past negative experiences and focus on positive ones.
• Learning forgiveness at a young age can help prevent the development of grudges or unhealthy coping mechanisms later in life. It teaches them healthy ways to handle conflict and resolve issues.
• Forgiving someone does not mean that you condone their actions or forget what happened. It simply means that you choose to let go of negative emotions and move forward.
• As children grow, they will encounter situations where forgiveness is necessary. Teaching them this skill early on can better prepare them for dealing with challenges and conflicts in the future.
• Forgiveness also promotes a sense of responsibility and accountability in children. When they learn to own up to their mistakes and apologize, it shows maturity and allows for growth.
• By forgiving others, children learn the value of second chances and giving people the benefit of doubt. This helps foster a kinder and more understanding society.
• Children who are taught forgiveness are less likely to engage in aggressive behavior or hold grudges, leading to a more peaceful and empathetic community.
• As adults, it is our responsibility to model forgiveness for children. By practicing forgiveness in our own lives, we can show them the power of letting go and moving forward.

Short Essay on Forgiveness:

Forgiveness is an essential aspect of human life that enables individuals to move on from past hurts and grievances. It involves the act of letting go of negative emotions, resentments and bitterness towards someone who has wronged us.

The concept of forgiveness has been deeply ingrained in various cultures and religions across the world. In Christianity, forgiveness is seen as a virtue and a fundamental element of faith. The Bible teaches that we should forgive others just as God forgives us for our sins.

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The act of forgiveness requires immense strength and courage because it means releasing ourselves from the pain caused by someone else’s actions. It does not mean forgetting or excusing the wrongdoing, but rather choosing to move forward without holding onto grudges.

Forgiveness also plays a vital role in improving our mental and emotional well-being. When we forgive, we release ourselves from negative emotions such as anger, hatred and resentment that can damage our overall health. Studies have shown that individuals who practice forgiveness experience lower levels of stress and depression.

Moreover, forgiveness is not just about letting go of hurtful experiences but also about healing relationships. It can repair damaged relationships by promoting understanding, empathy and compassion between individuals. By forgiving others, we open the doors for reconciliation and build stronger bonds with others.

However, forgiving someone might not be easy at times. Sometimes the pain caused by others can feel too deep to let go of. But it is essential to remember that forgiveness is a process rather than an event. It takes time, effort and patience to come to terms with the hurt and choose to forgive.

In conclusion, forgiveness is a powerful tool that can bring tremendous benefits to our lives. It allows us to let go of negative emotions, promotes mental and emotional well-being, and strengthens relationships.

As Mahatma Gandhi once said, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” So let us be strong enough to forgive and move forward towards a happier and more fulfilling life.

Essay on Forgiveness is the Best Revenge:

Forgiveness is often seen as a sign of weakness, a way of letting someone off the hook for their wrongdoings. However, more and more people are realizing that forgiveness can actually be a powerful tool for seeking revenge. In fact, forgiveness may just be the best form of revenge.

The Power of Forgiveness

Forgiveness has the power to heal wounds, both physically and emotionally. It allows us to let go of bitterness and resentment towards those who have hurt us. By forgiving others, we free ourselves from negative emotions that can consume us.

Moreover, forgiveness also has the ability to break cycles of violence and hatred. When we forgive someone instead of seeking revenge, we stop the cycle of hurt and retaliation. This can prevent further harm and promote peace.

The Strength of Forgiving

Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness, but rather a sign of strength. It takes courage to forgive someone who has hurt us deeply. It requires us to let go of our desire for revenge and instead choose empathy and understanding.

By forgiving, we also take back control over our own lives. When we hold onto anger and resentment towards others, we are giving them power over us. But by forgiving, we are taking that power back and choosing to move forward with our lives.

Forgiveness as Revenge

When someone wrongs us, our first instinct may be to seek revenge. We want to make them feel the same pain and suffering that they caused us. However, this desire for revenge often only leads to more pain and suffering.

Forgiveness, on the other hand, can be a form of revenge that brings about positive outcomes. By forgiving someone who has wronged us, we are showing them that they do not have power over our emotions. We are also breaking their expectation of retaliation and instead choosing forgiveness.

Moreover, by forgiving someone who has hurt us, we may inspire them to change their behavior. This is especially true in cases where the person who wronged us is someone close to us. When they see the impact of their actions and our ability to forgive, it may encourage them to make amends and work towards repairing the relationship.

In a world where seeking revenge is often glorified, forgiveness may seem like a weak and ineffective response. However, it takes great strength and courage to forgive someone who has hurt us. And in doing so, we can break the cycle of violence and promote peace.

So instead of seeking revenge, let us choose forgiveness as our form of revenge. Let us show compassion and empathy towards those who have wronged us, and in turn, inspire positive change. As the saying goes, “forgiveness is not something we do for others, it is something we do for ourselves.” So let us choose to forgive, not for their sake but for ours. So remember that forgiveness is not only powerful but also the best form of revenge.

Narrative Essay on Forgiveness:

Forgiveness is not an easy concept to grasp. It requires a lot of strength, courage and understanding. Yet, it has the power to transform our lives in ways we never thought possible.

In this essay, we will explore the topic of forgiveness from different perspectives and try to understand its importance in our personal growth and relationships.

To begin with, forgiveness is not about forgetting or condoning the wrongs done to us. It’s about acknowledging that someone has hurt us and choosing to let go of the anger, resentment and bitterness towards them.

This doesn’t mean that we should minimize or ignore their actions, but rather find a way to move forward without holding onto negative emotions that can only harm us.

Moreover, forgiveness is not just for the other person, but it’s also for ourselves. When we hold onto grudges and refuse to forgive, we are only hurting ourselves in the long run. It takes a toll on our mental health, causing stress, anxiety and even physical ailments.

By forgiving, we release ourselves from this burden and free up space for positivity and growth. However, forgiveness is not a one-time event. It is a continuous process that requires effort and commitment.

We may think that by forgiving someone, we have let go of all negative feelings towards them, but sometimes those feelings resurface when triggered by certain events or memories. In such cases, it’s important to remind ourselves of why we chose to forgive in the first place and recommit to letting go. Like any other skill, forgiveness needs to be practiced and honed.

Furthermore, forgiveness doesn’t always mean reconciliation. In some cases, it may not even be possible or healthy to maintain a relationship with the person who hurt us. Forgiveness is about finding peace within ourselves and moving on from the pain, regardless of whether the relationship is repaired or not. It’s important to set boundaries and prioritize our own well-being in these situations.

In conclusion, forgiveness is a complex and multi-layered concept that holds immense power. It allows us to let go of negative emotions that hold us back and create space for growth, healing and positivity in our lives.

By understanding its true meaning and practicing it in our daily lives, we can experience the transformative effects of forgiveness and live more fulfilling and peaceful lives. So, let us strive to be forgiving towards others and most importantly, towards ourselves.

Personal Essay On Forgiveness:

Forgiveness is a powerful act that has the ability to heal our hearts, minds, and souls. It is not an easy task, but I have come to learn that it is necessary for our own well-being. Throughout my life, forgiveness has played a crucial role in shaping who I am today.

Growing up, forgiveness was not something that came naturally to me. I held grudges and refused to let go of past hurts. I believed that by holding onto these negative feelings, I was somehow gaining power over the person who had wronged me.

However, as time went on, I realized that this way of thinking was only causing me more pain and hindering my personal growth.

It wasn’t until I experienced a major betrayal from someone close to me that I truly understood the power of forgiveness. In that moment, I had two choices: hold onto my anger and resentment or choose to forgive and let go. After much reflection, I chose the latter.

Forgiveness did not come easily or quickly. It took time, effort, and a lot of self-reflection. But as I began to let go of my anger and bitterness towards this person, I could feel the weight being lifted off my shoulders. I no longer felt consumed by negative emotions and was able to move forward with my life.

Through this experience, I also learned that forgiveness is not about excusing or justifying someone’s actions.

It is about accepting what has happened and finding peace within ourselves. Forgiveness does not mean that we forget or condone the hurtful actions of others. Instead, it allows us to release our pain and move forward with a clean slate.

Since then, forgiveness has become a constant practice in my life. I have learned to forgive not only others but also myself. We are all human and make mistakes, and it is important to show ourselves compassion and understanding.

Forgiveness has taught me kindness, empathy, and the power of letting go. It has allowed me to heal from past hurts and move forward with a positive mindset. I believe that forgiveness is essential for personal growth and happiness.

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In conclusion, forgiveness is a difficult but necessary act that we must all learn to embrace. It brings peace, healing, and growth into our lives. I am grateful for the lessons it has taught me and will continue to practice forgiveness in all aspects of my life. As the saying goes, “forgiveness is not something we do for others, but something we do for ourselves.” So let us all choose to forgive and find peace within ourselves.

• What is forgiveness in a short note? Forgiveness is the act of pardoning or letting go of resentment, anger, or the desire for revenge towards someone who has wronged you.
• Why forgiveness is important in our life? Forgiveness is important because it promotes emotional healing, relieves stress, and fosters healthier relationships. It allows us to move forward and find inner peace.
• How can I explain forgiveness? Forgiveness is the choice to release negative feelings and resentment towards someone who has hurt you. It involves understanding, empathy, and a willingness to move beyond the pain to restore peace and harmony.
• What is forgiveness for class 4? Forgiveness for a fourth-grade class can be explained as a concept where we choose to let go of anger or hard feelings toward someone who has hurt us. It’s like giving them a second chance and moving on without seeking revenge or holding grudges. It’s a way to find peace and repair relationships.

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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Forgiveness — Personal Statement: I Do Believe in Forgiveness

Personal Statement: I Do Believe in Forgiveness

• Categories: Forgiveness Personal Statement

About this sample

Words: 626 |

Published: Apr 30, 2020

Words: 626 | Page: 1 | 4 min read

Works Cited

• Bible, Matthew 18:21-22 (King James Version).
• Bible, Doctrine and Covenants 64:10 (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 1981).
• Enright, R. D., & Fitzgibbons, R. P. (2015). Forgiveness therapy: An empirical guide for resolving anger and restoring hope. American Psychological Association.
• Freedman, S. R., & Enright, R. D. (1996). Forgiveness as an intervention goal with incest survivors. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 64(5), 983-992.
• McCullough, M. E., Pargament, K. I., & Thoresen, C. E. (Eds.). (2000). Forgiveness: Theory, research, and practice. Guilford Press.
• Worthington, E. L. (2005). Handbook of forgiveness. Routledge.
• Worthington, E. L., & Wade, N. G. (Eds.). (2020). Handbook of forgiveness: New perspectives, intervention strategies, and research. Routledge.
• Worthington, E. L., Witvliet, C. V., Lerner, A. J., & Fitzgibbons, R. P. (2005). Forgiveness in health research and medical practice. Explore: The Journal of Science and Healing, 1(3), 169-176.
• Witvliet, C. V., Ludwig, T. E., & Vander Laan, K. L. (2001). Granting forgiveness or harboring grudges: Implications for emotion, physiology, and health. Psychological Science, 12(2), 117-123.
• Worthington, E. L., & Lavelock, C. R. (2003). Eight positive emotions: Forgiveness, gratitude, awe, love, humor, serenity, hope, and inspiration. In Handbook of positive psychology (pp. 607-616). Oxford University Press.

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