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Four pearls of wisdom to benefit your marriage

Four Pearls of Wisdom to Benefit Your Marriage

By annie yorty ©2022.

shirley quiring mozena

I’m excited to introduce you to my friend and guest blogger, Shirley Quiring Mozena . Today Shirley shares four pearls of wisdom to benefit your marriage. At the end of her article, please check out her complete bio and website. Shirley wrote three books based on difficult twists and turns in her life which led to unexpected joy. I know you’ll be blessed.

by Shirley Quiring Mozena

My granddaughter, Sarah, and husband, Russell, were married in June. At her bridal shower, I was asked to give Pearls of Wisdom to benefit their marriage. I shared four concepts I wished I’d known before marriage.

Pearl of Wisdom #1: Grief

I was surprised after all the preparation for my wedding at nineteen years of age, that I’d be sad. Yes, the first pearl of wisdom to benefit your marriage is to understand unexpected grief. I’d just walked down the aisle with a dreamboat of a man who was now my husband. I’d counted the days until we said “I do.” I felt a let-down after all the preparation of the wedding. The dress. The going away dress. The bridesmaids. Their dresses. Wedding cake. Guests. The groom’s cake. Flowers. So many items to prepare and plan. And then, just like that, it was over. The sadness dispersed quickly, but throughout my honeymoon, there were flashes of wistful longings, which I didn’t fully understand.

Years later, I learned that sadness and grief after a long-anticipated event, is a normal occurrence. In marriage, it’s saying goodbye to a former way of life to enter a new life. In my first marriage, especially, I experienced grief. Quite honestly, in my following two marriages, the grief was different, but I still said goodbye to my former life and experienced some sadness.

For those of you who don’t know my story, I was widowed twice. The first time, I was married for forty years. Bill passed away from complications of a chronic disease. I married a second time to Blair a few years later.  We were married only seventeen months when he died suddenly of a brain aneurysm. Four years later, I met and married Jim, my current husband. God has blessed us with nearly nine years of marriage and we’re going strong!

Below, left to right: My first marriage, second marriage, and current wedding photos:

Shirley Quiring Mozena

Pearl of Wisdom #2:  Communication

I’ve been widowed twice and married three times, but most of the wisdom to benefit marriage that I learned came during my first marriage to my husband, Bill, the father of my children and grandfather to my grands.

It took twenty-two years for us to learn to communicate well. We took a communication class after twenty-some years of arguing, fighting, and near-divorce. We’d seen several marriage counselors and they recommended one last thing that might help. A communication class. Communicate to save a marriage?  Sounds too simple, doesn’t it? But it was one of the pearls of wisdom to benefit our marriage.

We learned to listen .

First, let the other person say what the problem was. Then the listener repeats what they heard. If it wasn’t correct, the speaker would repeat—in a calm voice—what they wanted to say. And the listener again repeated what they heard. We were instructed to keep repeating the process until there was understanding. It sounds so simple and yet it is profound. It saved our marriage. I learned to trust Bill with my true feelings—and that was hard, because I didn’t want him to get mad at me or think my feelings were wrong.

Honestly express those true feelings. We often expect the other person to read our minds. I remember one counselor who said even in his own marriage—and they were both marriage counselors—that eighty percent of the time when they tried to read their partner’s mind, they read it incorrectly! We can’t expect our partner to communicate through mind reading. Listening and repeating what we heard the other say and being honest about our feelings made a huge difference in our marriage.

After years of struggling and arguing, we finally learned to enjoy each other’s company. Truly. Not just mustering up our feelings because we didn’t want to divorce.

Pearl of Wisdom #3: Respect

Ephesians talks about family relationships—husbands, wives, parents, children. Often in counseling—especially Christian counseling—wives are reminded to submit to their husbands ( Ephesians 5:21-22 ). Husbands are reminded to love their wives. But often one of the most important things a wife can do is respect her husband. It’s an unconditional command.

Once I heard a marriage counselor give the example of an officer and a recruit in the military. The officer doesn’t care if enlisted men or women love them; they just want their respect. Husbands have that same desire for respect from their wives. Sometimes they don’t even know that’s what it is they want, but they do. Don’t treat your husband like a child. Don’t divulge the deep secrets he shared with you to your girlfriends. Keep it confidential. Don’t demean him in public. Give him respect.

So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband ( Ephesians 5:33 NLT ).

I learned this pearl of wisdom in my first marriage. Sometimes I’d say or do something disrespectful, and my husband would say, “I don’t feel respected.”  I had to think about it, and admit he was right.

Of course, the husband must do his part—that’s to love his wife as Christ loved the church. That means he gives up his life for her. If he loves her, she respects him. Then their marriage will be harmonious. I found respecting my husband was a very important thing I could do. Even now, after fifty total years of marriage, 40 years with my first, just under 2 years with my second, and now eight with Jim, I have to be careful to be respectful.

Pearl of Wisdom #4: Pray

Pray together. Not just at meals and in emergencies. Not just in church or prayer circles, but every day. Set aside a certain time in your day. It can be in the morning or before bedtime. Pray out loud. Write down your requests. Hold hands while you pray.  We heard Focus on the Family ( Groeschel, Craig & Amy. From This Day Forward , Zondervan, 2014 ) report that statistically, couples have a ninety-nine percent better chance of staying married if they pray together daily. Ninety-nine percent.

Here are a few tips from my book about prayer:

From  Second Chance at Love :

If at first you are not comfortable praying aloud in front of someone, we recommend you sit together, hold hands, bow your heads and close your eyes and pray silently for a minute or two. When you feel comfortable doing that, start saying one sentence out loud, if only nothing more than, “ Thank-you for this day, dear Lord.” The more you do it, the easier it becomes. Some people are afraid to pray together because they think they ’ re not spiritual enough. Simple prayers are fine. Certainly with God. We know praying together creates intimacy—spiritual intimacy. It naturally overflows to other aspects of your married life. Emotionally and physically. Most likely you will begin to pray about other things. It is a wonderful, mystical moment in joining together with the Creator of the world and asking for his blessing on your day. On your family. On your marriage. On your world.

If you are getting married soon, the fourth pearl of wisdom to benefit your marriage, praying together, is the most important by far. From an eternal perspective, it’s certainly the most critical.

Even if you’re not a new bride any longer, it’s never too late to incorporate these tips in your marriage. And if you’re the groom, or husband, you can incorporate these pearls of wisdom to benefit your marriage too.

Marriage Reflects God to the World

Marriage is a beautiful thing. I’ve been blessed in my life with three husbands who loved me. I know each of them would give their life for me. Marriage is a picture of life itself. Our marriage interacts with people to display God to our families, our church family, and our neighbors. I like this passage in the New Testament:

Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage  ( Hebrews 13:4a NLT ). Join the conversation: What are some pearls of wisdom you might share with your children or grandchildren?   Write them down. Share the ideas with them. They will thank you.

I welcome your comments!

shirley quiring mozena

Shirley Quiring Mozena is a retreat speaker and national speaker for Stonecroft Ministries . She has three hundred plus followers who read her weekly blog on encouragement and hope. Shirley has a presence on FaceBook, LinkedIn, and Pinterest. Her website includes her blogs and speaking schedule. She has published articles in her local newspaper, Christian publications, and in “Angels on Earth” in the May/June 2022 issue. She was awarded winner from Oregon Christian Writers (OCW) Cascade Awards for an unpublished article entitled, “Two Amazing Prayers.”

Shirley has authored three books : Second Chances At Life and Love, With Hope (Redemption Press, 2012), Beyond Second Chances: Heartbreak to Joy (Redemption Press, 2015), both finalists in the OCW Cascade Awards. With her husband Jim, she has co-authored a book Second Chance at Love: Navigating the Path to Remarriage (Redemption Press, 2020), which was a finalist in the 2021 Selah Awards.

She has a heart for those grieving the loss of loved ones in death. Shirley and her husband, Jim, facilitate GriefShare in their church.

She is the proud owner of an energetic King Charles Spaniel/Yorky named Rudy, who absolutely loves daily walks in the neighborhood.

ShirleyMozena.com

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Barbara Latta

Thank you, Shirley, for sharing about this important topic. Thanks, Annie for introducing us to Shirley. This post contains so much valuable information.

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Annie Yorty

I learned so much from Shirley too, Barbara. Thanks for your visit!

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Nancy E. Head

What an amazing testimony Shirley has! Words to ponder: “Marriage is a picture of life itself.”

Thanks for this post. God bless!

I love Shirley’s story too. God’s plans are above and beyond anything we can imagine. Thanks for your visit, Nancy!

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Candyce Carden

Annie and Shirley, I enjoyed learning about Shirley and her story and these four pearls of wisdom for marriage. I wish I’d known about them earlier too, but like most of us, learned them the hard way.

Thanks, Candyce, for visiting. I’ve been married for a long time, and I’m still learning!

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I wish I knew all of this before I got married. Especially number one. I never expected it and didn’t know how to deal with it or why it happened. Thank you for sharing.

I agree! Shirley gives some good advice.

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  • Sermons , The Fear of the Lord, the Beginning of Wisdom

Proverbs: God’s Wisdom in Marriage

With michael easley.

Proverbs is God’s wisdom in marriage and life being imparted to man. How do we help a simple man understand our brilliant God? We use easy-to-remember parallels, couplets, and rhymes. The simple and naive can learn, but the fool may never understand.

The Need For The Bible

The Scripture is the very Word of God. It is all we need to live successfully in the way God measures success. And yet we are in a cultural context that has become very challenging. So many churches affirm love, tolerance, and acceptance. However, the Bible is the very Word of God. Therefore, explaining, teaching, and making it accessible to everyone is essential. 

Context for The Book of Proverbs

In the book of Proverbs, Solomon is writing primarily to middle schoolers through almost married couples. He is explaining and imparting wisdom. In last week’s sermon, we looked at the way of the righteous versus the way of the wicked. The overall picture of Proverbs is that wisdom is like a woman. Proverbs 31 is explicitly not a personal goal to aim for but an explanation of what wisdom looks like. 

Meditation on The Word (Proverbs 5:1-2)

In today’s text, Solomon says, ‘my wisdom and my understanding’ to create a parallel. They’re different, but he’s saying a similar thing differently so that we remember. The father tells the sons that he wants them to have wisdom and understanding. He is hammering in the importance of paying attention, inclining our ears, grasping what we’re being told, and eventually internalizing this wisdom. 

You will not grow apart from time spent in the Word period. Most Christians have difficulty with prayer and don’t open the Word daily. The Word is life. God loves you and offers wisdom. He provides a way through our crazy culture, but you must spend time in the Word. 

Solomon says to observe discretion, and your lips may reserve knowledge. We are given clarification for this in Proverbs 17:3. We will always regret speaking out of anger, but we will never regret speaking with kindness and a level head. So it’s not only holding back but also knowing what to say and when to say it. 

Seduction (Proverbs 5:3-6)

We see an immediate contrast here with the unrestrained lips of the adultress versus the instruction to the sons in Proverbs 5:2. Seduction is powerful and connected to speech all the time. We see this with Potiphar’s wife in Genesis 39:10, who came to Joseph daily saying, ‘come lie with me.’ Sexuality is based on dialogue. 

We whisper sweet nothings, but we see in Proverbs 5:4 that it is a deception. While it may taste like honey and be smooth as oil, it is always bitter. A theme in Proverbs is the ‘smooth tongue, smooth words,’ provocative language that pierces the heart of the vulnerable. It is as sharp as a two-edged sword – it cuts both directions, in and out, side to side. 

The Seductress is the one who seduces with language, dripping with honey. Dr. Bruce Waltke adds, ‘She cuts her victims to pieces without the milk of compassion.’ Solomon moves on to the murderous intent from her mouth. Her feet go down to death and take hold of Sheol. In Leviticus 10:10 and Deuteronomy 22:22, we are reminded that adultery brought the punishment of death in the theocracy of God’s economy under the Mosaic law. 

The adulteress wanders in immorality and darkness. This language is similar to Cain being a ‘vagrant and a wanderer on the earth.’ The unfaithful and immoral have no home and stagger through life in sin from bed to bed. She does not ponder the path of life. Her ways are unstable, and she does not know it. This is uncomfortably descriptive of a person given over to immorality. This is someone so profoundly seduced by evil that they can’t even see what they’re doing.

The Folly (Proverbs 5:7-14)

Here, the father’s plea becomes more urgent. Before we get the list in Proverbs 10 and beyond, the father is doing everything he can to set up these parameters for his sons. He’s trying to create a fertile field so the naive, the ones who can still learn, will incline their ear.

This is the second time, following Proverbs 4:1, that we see the Word son become plural. But, again, the literature tells us he speaks this way because it is his legacy. 

The plurality is not necessarily a group sitting there listening to him but rather the family’s legacy. We also see the continuing movement of feet, paths, and ways. We get to choose daily which way we go. Vigor is one’s honor, and the word cruel is rarely used in the Bible. The idea here is someone who does something mercilessly. It means giving your life over to someone who has no compassion. 

Avoidance is common sense and excellent prevention for cruelty. Listen to your gut and avoid any situation that seems fishy. Whether it’s a relationship, physical safety, or a decision, you’ll never regret avoiding the door mentioned in Proverbs 5:8. If you go through the door, you will regret it. Adultery comes at a high cost and will lead you to ruin. Proverbs 5:14 completes the thought if you go down this path, you will awaken one day bankrupt with regret and ruin. He cautions the sons, ‘don’t live to regret this; live to rejoice you have kept away from the seductress.’

The Wife of Your Youth (Proverbs 5:15-23)

The father’s instruction points immediately to the solution. The way of wisdom is to avoid folly. The antidote for adultery is a godly marriage relationship. A sexually intimate marriage is the best antidote. The larger record of the Scripture is God preparing a bride for His groom. The Christian marriage reflects God’s design from Genesis 2 throughout time. 

Remarkably, the Bible opens with a wedding – God’s image bearers, man and woman becoming one –and is complete with instructions, examples, and accounts of believer’s marriages. The Scripture culminates in another wedding: Christ and His bride, the church. The Christian marriage reflects God’s design and love for mankind. 

That’s what Ephesians 5 is all about, but we miss it. In the context of the Revelation wedding, we see the culmination of Jesus marrying His church. He took her sin upon Him and died in her place on her behalf. That’s the greatest love ever. He died for His wife. 

And the world has spoiled what God meant to be good. They have perverted, twisted, distorted, and mutilated themselves beyond common sense, beyond design, in the lie that they can choose what/who they will be. They are toying with what God meant good; they are sick in sin and have become an abomination toward God’s created design. The world is not your friend. The most significant difficulty of the Christian life is how to live in the world but not of it. Wisdom will bear fruit, and you’ll never regret not sinning.

Three Lessons of The Text

  • Sexual sins will leave scars, but forgiveness is available. God is redemptive, kind, and merciful to the sinner’s repentance. Scars hurt, and they refer us back to the pain that caused them. The same is true of our sins. The moral of the story is don’t go in that door. Given time, a person who chooses to live outside the boundaries of a heterosexual, monogamous marriage will face the consequences of sin. There are two ways to handle it. You become callous, persist, or deal with God on His terms. The amazing part is that He forgives us. All sin is an illegitimate means to a legitimate end. 
  • You will never regret choosing not to sin. When we choose not to sin but to stay on track, we will never feel the guilt or shame of a sin we did not commit. It is not the primary motivation, but it is true. Our highest and best preventative is our intimacy with Christ, our pursuit of the good and godly friends He gives us, and the marriage bed. 
  • God’s design for intimacy in marriage is a blessing beyond anything the world can offer. It is far more fulfilling, beautiful, and truly a blessing than the world’s lies. The immoral are robbed of true life. They are deceived and will remain lost in a moral vacuum that can never fulfill, bless, or be what God designed for our good now and forever more. 

Catch up on the rest of the Proverbs sermon series here .

Listen on your favorite podcast app

Continue series, the ramifications of following christ (john 1:35-51).

Michael originally taught ‘The Ramifications of Following Christ’ (John 1:35-51) at Immanuel Bible Church. 

The Testimony of John (John 1:19-28)

Michael originally taught ‘The Testimony of John’ at Immanuel Bible Church. In this sermon, Michael teaches through John 1:19-28.

Jesus, The True Light (John 1:2-13)

Michael originally taught ‘Jesus, The True Light’ at Immanuel Bible Church. In this sermon, Michael teaches through John 1:2-13.

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Wisdom for Marriage

  • March 7, 2019 March 7, 2019

write a book report on marriage of wisdom

In the poetic books of the Old Testament, we find some important teaching on the subject of marriage that is rooted firmly in the original creation design of Genesis 1 & 2. While the books of Job and Psalms do not speak much about the nature of marriage, the books of Proverbs and Ecclesiastes contain instruction about the dangers of sexual indiscretion, praise for the God-ordained union of man and wife, and descriptions of the desirable qualities to be sought in a spouse. The Song of Solomon contains extensive poetry illustrating the kind of romantic love that God intended for married couples to enjoy. First we will examine the wisdom of Proverbs and Ecclesiastes, and later we will survey the Song of Songs.

Proverbs 5:15-19 – In this chapter of the book of Proverbs, a father is warning his son about the dangers of sexual immorality, saying that it will cost him his honor (v.9a), vitality (v.9b), wealth (v.10), health (v.11), and self-respect (v.12-14). Instead of listening to the tempting words of the immoral woman, however, in v.15-16 he is counseled to “Drink water from your own cistern, and running water from your own well. Should your fountains be dispersed abroad, streams of water in the streets?” The imagery here is especially powerful when we remember that Israel is an arid climate where water is a scarce commodity; no one with any wisdom would pour out their precious water in the streets. The metaphor becomes clear in the next verses: “Let them be only your own, and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth. As a loving deer and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; and always be enraptured with her love.” Sexual pleasure is not disgraceful or shameful in any way, when it is enjoyed by a husband with his wife. In fact, Solomon tells his son that he ought to be intoxicated by his wife’s love, that he is to be so captivated by her that he can no longer restrain himself. Indeed, it is only within the covenant bond of marriage, that a man is allowed to become “drunk,” although with desire for his wife and not with alcohol!

It is worth noting briefly that this passage speaks only of the husband’s pleasure with his wife, and no mention is made of the woman’s sexual desires. The context here is a father’s instruction to his son, but the principles apply just as well to women as to men. A wife ought to openly communicate her own sexual desires to her husband and seek fulfillment and pleasure within her own marriage.

Proverbs 12:4 – “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who causes shame is like rottenness to his bones.” Because of the one-flesh nature of marriage, a wife has tremendous potential either to adorn her husband with honor or to suck the life out of him. If she is excellent , literally “a woman of strength,” then her husband will be honored by her, but if she acts shamefully or foolishly she will ruin his life from the inside out. As Delitzsch says, “an unhappy marriage gnaws at the marrow of life, it destroys the happiness of life, disturbs the pursuit, undermines the life of the husband.”

Proverbs 18:22 – “He who finds a wife find a good thing, and obtains favor from the LORD.” Is marriage really a good thing? Is it something that ought to be encouraged and pursued? Genesis 2:18 is clear when God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him,” and Proverbs 18:22 agrees. Marriage is part of God’s good design and his wise provision for man. While singleness has some distinct advantages (we will consider them when we get to 1 Cor. 7), in general it is God’s intention for men and women to marry, and life-long singleness is something which God grants to a minority by his grace and for his own purpose. This statement by Robert Alden seems to be a gross understatement: “In general wives are assets to men.”

Proverbs 21:9,19 – “Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, than in a house shared with a contentious woman,” and “Better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and angry woman.” What a tragic and twisted picture this is of the hen-pecked husband and his nagging wife! It does not resemble God’s creative design of a “helper comparable” to the man. In fact, it is a rejection of marriage as the Lord ordained it with a sad and painful substitute in its place. And lest we think that this is a minor issue, Solomon speaks of this concern at least three more times in Proverbs 19:13, 25:24, and 27:15-16! Arguments and abuse have no place in the covenant of marriage.

Ecclesiastes 9:9 – “Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life which He has given you under the sun, all your days of vanity; for that is your portion in life, and in the labor which you perform under the sun.” When the Preacher says that your life is “vain,” he simply means that it is fleeting and brief, and marriage adds joy and purpose to it. This is marriage as God designed it to be: joyful, life-long, and meaningful.

There is still more to be said about marriage from the book of Proverbs, especially when we look at the famous (or infamous!) chapter 31, but that will have to wait until next time.

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Volume 38 - Issue 3

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The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God

New York: Dutton, 2011. 288 pp. $25.95.

Christian books on marriage are an abundant genre, and most tend to be either practical or theological (or at least better at one than the other). What makes Tim and Kathy Keller’s The Meaning of Marriage the new standard for books of its kind, in my judgment, is its combination of practical/cultural sensitivities with a clear theological foundation in the gospel. The book’s purpose is to present a vision for what marriage is according to the Bible (p. 12), although the Kellers work hard to demonstrate how the book is relevant for those who do not share their respect for the Bible (e.g., pp. 14–15). They also emphasize that the book is not merely for married couples, but also for single people. In fact, I would venture to say that the demographic that may benefit most from this book would be single people who either over-desire or disdain marriage. Chapter 7 addresses those called to be single and single people seeking marriage, and the entire book, having been shaped by the Kellers’ ministry at a largely single urban church (pp. 11–12), contains profound insight into how cultural idols (such as personal autonomy and fulfillment) have warped the way marriage is viewed in our setting.

A key text throughout the book is Eph 5:21–33. Drawing from Paul’s assertion in 5:32, the Kellers articulate the notion that marriage reveals the mystery of the gospel as “the message of the book” (p. 48). Much of the bulk of the book, and especially throughout chapters two through five, applies this gospel vision of marriage to practical issues in marriage such as how married partners can put aside self-centeredness and serve one another (pp. 56–60, 63–67), help one another grow spiritually (pp. 118–19), pray for one another’s sanctification (p. 121), engage in healthy conflict (pp. 155–56), communicate love to one another (pp. 158–61), bring healing into one another’s lives (pp. 147–48), fuel romance in their relationship (pp. 96–100), and grow in friendship (pp. 112–17). A particularly helpful section is “Pseudo-Spouses” on pages 127–30. Here the Kellers argue that, in order to keep a marriage healthy, it must be prioritized over kids, family, and career. Here’s a sample: “if your spouse does not feel that you are putting him or her first, then by definition you aren’t. And when that happens, your marriage is dying” (p. 128).

The single greatest strength of the book, in my opinion, is its cultural insight and application. Throughout the book, the Kellers’ dialogue partners include not only biblical commentaries and C. S. Lewis, but The New York Times and comedian Chris Rock. By my count, there are over 45 references to contemporary sociology and secular thought about marriage in chapter one alone . This means that the Kellers’ book is not simply a recounting of the Bible’s view on marriage, but an examination of how the Bible’s view on marriage confronts our modern Western idols of individual freedom and fulfillment. They especially emphasize the covenantal nature of the marriage relationship and how starkly it contrasts with our society’s consumeristic attitude toward marriage (e.g., 80–82). Many Christian readers may be surprised to discover (as I was) just how much our culture has shaped the way we think about marriage.

An important and helpful section of the book is chapter 6, which is written by Kathy and tackles the controversial issue of gender roles in marriage. The Kellers have already argued that marriage roles should be interpreted within the larger context of the sacrificial love and service that are to characterize all Christian relationships (pp. 52ff.). Now Kathy makes a case for a specifically complementarian understanding of marriage. Two especially significant themes of her chapter are that complementary roles in marriage are to be considered in light of complementary roles within the Godhead and that both headship and submission are to be defined in light of the Son of God’s redemptive work in the gospel. By setting complementarianism within a larger Trinitarian and christological framework, Kathy is able to distinguish complementarianism from traditional patriarchal views that do squelch the value and contribution of women. Kathy shows that both male and female roles require submission, since laying down your life for the good of another (the essence of biblical masculinity) is nothing if not an act of submission (p. 77). This is a vision of complementarianism that is beautiful and life-giving, not threatening or demeaning.

Kathy’s case for complementarianism is courteous and forceful, but it also allows for “wiggle room” in what complementarianism looks like within different couples and across different cultures (pp. 185–87). The principle of male headship does not vary, but the exact expression may. Another significant insight in this chapter is that sexism (along with racism, classism, etc.) is one manifestation of the broader problem of the sinful human drive for self-justification, which causes us to exclude “the Other” (p. 182). Kathy presents the gospel as the antidote to marriage problems based upon differences between the genders, showing that a grace-established identity empties our hearts of disdain or indifference towards those who are different from us (cf. pp. 182–84). This chapter also has an eye toward practical issues such as what to do when one partner within a marriage takes a different view on gender roles (pp. 190–91). An appendix extends some of the discussion into the realm of decision-making in marriage (pp. 241–44).

Chapter 8 addresses sexuality within marriage. It discusses a biblical view of sexuality, how to practice chastity until marriage, and what it means to pursue sex as “whole life self-giving” (p. 220) within the marriage covenant. The emphasis on sex as an apparatus for commitment and unification and self-giving, rather than merely for pleasure or self-expression, highlights an area where many Christians have been influenced by our hedonistic culture. As the Kellers say earlier regarding our culture’s obsession with hook-ups and romantic thrills, “‘the thrill of the hunt’ is not the only kind of thrill or passion available, nor is it the best” (p. 79). The Kellers emphasize the importance of fighting to believe this truth in the moment of temptation (the Jane Eyre illustration on this point on pp. 229–31 is worthy of deep reflection).

One final point: The Kellers explain in the Introduction why they have not chosen to address the issue of gay marriage in this book (p. 16). That is understandable, given the book’s purpose. However, I do not think that I would be alone in hoping for some treatment of how Christians should approach this issue from Keller in subsequent writings or addresses. If there is anything that seems likely to be a “battlefront issue” between polarizing trends of thought in our culture in the decades ahead, it is (to my mind) gay marriage. And if there is any helpful voice among evangelicals on how to engage the culture with truth and grace, it is (to my mind) Tim Keller. Since he has already reflected at such length about how a biblical view of marriage intersects with our cultural trends, perhaps in days ahead he will say more to help the church think about how to bring the gospel to bear on this issue.

Gavin Ortlund

Gavin Ortlund is senior pastor of First Baptist Church of Ojai in Ojai, California.

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Mark by the Book

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Handbook of Women Biblical Interpreters: A Historical and Biographical Guide

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The Theology of Augustine; An Introduction to His Most Important Works

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Vincent of Lerins and the Development of Christian Doctrine

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66 Happy Marriage Quotes That Will Inspire Every Couple

We gathered sweet messages from literature, film, comedians, and celebrities.

Cristina Montemayor is a freelance writer and makeup artist whose work has appeared on HelloGiggles, Slate, Elite Daily, and Bustle.

write a book report on marriage of wisdom

Photo by Abby Jiu Photography

In This Article

What’s the secret to a happy marriage ? Ask ten couples and you'll get ten different answers. There’s the traditional advice, such as “never go to bed angry," or there's the classic reminder to always remember that marriage requires compromise. While the practical takeaways will always vary, there's one universal trait found in all strong, healthy partnerships: Happy marriages tend to be marked with the kind of deep passion and radical acceptance that cultivates a blissful bond between two people.

Of course, no marriage is happy all the time, but by focusing on your partner’s strengths, expressing your love and appreciation every day, and communicating within the partnership, you’ll be celebrating many years of wedded bliss in no time. To celebrate the joys of marriage, we’ve put together a list of the best happy marriage quotes of all time. Whether you’re engaged , newly married, or going on multiple decades married to the same person, you’ll appreciate these 66 happy marriage quotes from literature, film, comedians, celebrities and more.

Getty Images / Design by Mehroz Kapadia

Love Quotes to Inspire Happy Marriage From Writers and Poets

  • “A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short.” —André Maurois
  • “Sensual pleasures have the fleeting brilliance of a comet; a happy marriage has the tranquility of a lovely sunset.” —Ann Landers
  • “To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.” —Mark Twain
  • "There is no remedy for love but to love more." —Henry David Thoreau
  • "I believe in love. I think it just hits you and pulls the rug out from underneath you and, like a baby, demands your attention every minute of the day." —Jodi Picoult
  • “The highest happiness on earth is marriage.” —William Lyon Phelps
  • “To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow—this is a human offering that can border on miraculous.” —Elizabeth Gilbert
  • “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers .” —Ruth Bell Graham
  • “I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where, I love you directly without problems or pride: I love you like this because I don’t know any other way to love, except in this form in which I am not nor are you, so close that your hand upon my chest is mine, so close that your eyes close with my dreams.” —Pablo Neruda
  • “Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” —Maya Angelou
  • "Love is a friendship set to music." —Joseph Campbell
  • “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” —Mignon McLaughlin
  • “If I had a flower for every time thought of you… I could walk through my garden forever.” —Alfred, Lord Tennyson
  • "This is what marriage really means: helping one another to reach the full status of being persons, responsible beings who do not run away from life." —Paul Tournier
  • “To find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness.” —Robert Brault
  • “Love doesn’t make the world go round; love is what makes the ride worthwhile.” —Elizabeth Barrett Browning
  • “Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is.” —Louis de Bernières
  • “There are a hundred paths through the world that are easier than loving. But who wants easier?” —Mary Oliver
  • “Marriage, ultimately, is the practice of becoming passionate friends.” —Harville Hendrix
  • “Marriage is the highest state of friendship. If happy, it lessens our cares by dividing them, at the same time that it doubles our pleasures by mutual participation.” —Samuel Richardson

Love Quotes to Inspire Happy Marriage From Philosophers

  • “Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back. Those who wish to sing always find a song. At the touch of a lover, everyone becomes a poet.” —Plato
  • "One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love." —Sophocles
  • “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” —Lao Tzu

Love Quotes to Inspire Happy Marriage From Musicians

  • “We have a couple of rules in our relationship. The first rule is that I make her feel like she’s getting everything. The second rule is that I actually do let her have her way in everything. And, so far, it’s working.” —Justin Timberlake
  • "A simple 'I love you' means more than money." —Frank Sinatra
  • “Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife.” —Franz Schubert
  • "We're friends, too. We love each other, but we actually like each other—and that's an important distinction there. Love is passion and all of that stuff, but actually liking somebody and enjoying someone's company is something slightly different, and it lasts longer. So you can have both, and I think that's important. Be married to your best friend." —Sting
  • "I don’t want to present myself as the 'perfect spouse' and I don’t want to present our relationship as the 'perfect relationship' because I don’t think anybody meets that definition. I think it’s too much pressure to put on anyone. However, I don’t mind being known as somebody who’s devoted to their wife. I am devoted to Chrissy. And when I write about [my commitment to her], it’s me being authentic." —John Legend

Love Quotes to Inspire Happy Marriage From Comedians

  • “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” —Rita Rudner
  • “Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music, and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." —Henny Youngman
  • "Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are." —Will Ferrell
  • “Monogamy is monotonous, but it’s safe, you know? And that’s my philosophy.” —Joy Behar
  • “A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.” —Dave Meurer
  • “Love at first sight is easy to understand; it’s when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle.” —Sam Levenson
  • “The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.” —Henny Youngman
  • "I married for love but the obvious side benefit of having someone around to find my glasses cannot be ignored." —Cameron Esposito
  • "He does tell me every single day of my life I'm beautiful, and I do know a lot of women live without that. And it does matter, someone just telling you that." —Mary Steenburgen

Love Quotes to Inspire Marriage From Movies and Television

  • “Look, you want to know what marriage is really like? Fine. You wake up, she's there. You come back from work, she's there. You fall asleep, she's there. You eat dinner, she's there. You know? I mean, I know that sounds like a bad thing, but it's not." —Ray Romano as Ray Barone on Everybody Loves Raymond
  • “When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” —Meg Ryan as Sally Albright in When Harry Met Sally
  • "I wish I had done everything on earth with you." —Carey Mulligan as Daisy Buchanan in The Great Gatsby
  • “After a while, you just want to be with the one that makes you laugh.” —Chris Noth as Mr. Big, Sex and the City
  • “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return.” —Ewan McGregor as Christian in Moulin Rouge!

Love Quotes to Inspire Happy Marriage From Literature

  • "Happiness [is] only real when shared." Jon Krakauer,  Into the Wild
  • "Love is like the wind, you can't see it but you can feel it." —Nicholas Sparks, A Walk to Remember
  • "Something my dad says...He says you end up marrying the one you don't understand. Then you spend the rest of your life trying." —Frederik Backman, Anxious People
  • "You don’t stop loving a person when they’re hurt. You get stronger so they can lean on you." —Kristin Hannah, The Great Alone
  • "But once you've actually been in love, you can't live with 'will do;' it's worse than living with yourself." —Andrew Sean Greer, Less
  • "I'm in love with you, and I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I'm in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we'll ever have, and I am in love with you.” ―John Green,  The Fault in Our Stars
  • “You know it's never fifty-fifty in a marriage. It's always seventy-thirty, or sixty-forty. Someone falls in love first. Someone puts someone else up on a pedestal. Someone works very hard to keep things rolling smoothly; someone else sails along for the ride.”― Jodi Picoult,  Mercy

Love Quotes to Inspire Happy Marriage From Actors

  • "I have someone who I can talk to about anything and someone who I care more about than I’ve cared about anybody.” —George Clooney
  • “Love is like a friendship caught on fire.” —Bruce Lee
  • "People say, 'Jeez, it must be hard to stay married in show business. I think it's hard to stay married anywhere. But if you marry the right person, it might work out. We give each other a natural sense of support for whatever the other wants to pursue. Our marriage doesn't require vast work." —Tom Hanks
  • “We support each other in everything we do. We want the other one to strive. [It] makes you happy when the other one strives. And you know what, we don’t have a very strong social life because we really like to spend time together. So, we do spend a lot of quality time together." —Salma Hayak
  • “I got gaps; you got gaps; we fill each other’s gaps...Love is absolute loyalty. People fade, looks fade, but loyalty never fades. You can depend so much on certain people; you can set your watch by them. And that’s love, even if it doesn’t seem very exciting." —Sylvester Stallone
  • "When you end up happily married, even the failed relationships have worked beautifully to get you there." —Julia Roberts
  • "There's no bad consequence to loving fully, with all your heart. You always gain by giving love. It's like that beautiful Shakespeare quote from Romeo and Juliet: 'My bounty is as boundless as the sea. My love is deep. The more I give to thee, the more I have. For both are infinite.'" —Reese Witherspoon
  • "When I feel the support that I have from him, I feel invincible. There's someone behind you on your good days and someone in front of you on your bad days." —Emily Blunt
  • “Marriage is a risk; I think it’s a great and glorious risk, as long as you embark on the adventure in the same spirit.” —Cate Blanchett
  • "Marriage is like a graph—it has its ups and downs and as long as things bounce back up again, you’ve got a good marriage. If it heads straight down, then you’ve got some problems!" —Julie Andrews
  • “I felt that I had met someone who I would absolutely, you know, trade my life for. I met someone who—her life meant more to me than my life.” —George Clooney

Love Quotes to Inspire Happy Marriage From Public Figures

  • “One of the things that really allows us to get through these moments that are obviously very stressful—we’re talking about the future of the free world—it’s important to be able to laugh at yourself and each other. We do a healthy amount of both of that. We don’t take ourselves too seriously in the context of our relationship. You can’t. You just have to flow and know what’s really important.” —Kamala Harris
  • “The secret is that you just take care of each other and admire each other and support each other and you get that back … If Jeffrey and I disagree on something, he always agrees with me!” —Ina Garten
  • “A good marriage is a contest of generosity.” —Diane Sawyer
  • “The secret of a happy marriage is finding the right person. You know they're right if you love to be with them all the time.” —Julia Child
  • "When a marriage works, nothing on Earth can take its place." —Helen Gahagan Douglas
  • “There is no more lovely, friendly, and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage.” —Martin Luther

When it comes down to it, we hope that these happy marriage quotes are a sweet reminder to you and your partner about why you love each other so much. Whether you use the quotes in your vows, in letters to each other, on birthdays, or during special celebrations, turn to these quotes about marriage for a little inspiration and reminder of how special your love truly is.

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"THE BOOK OF PROVERBS"

Wisdom regarding marriage (2), introduction.

  • We saw in our previous lesson that Proverbs can be a helpful guide in selecting a good spouse
  • In this study, we will consider what it says about being a good spouse
  • The importance of this subject should be evident...
  • Happiness in life is greatly affected by how successful we are in marriage
  • Even our usefulness to the Lord is affected by the relationship between husbands and wives
  • For example, a husband's prayers can be hindered by his treatment of his wife - 1Pe 3:7

[Appreciating the importance of a good marriage, let's begin with that beautiful passage in Proverbs 31 where we read about...]

  • THE VIRTUOUS WIFE
  • THE IDEAL WIFE...
  • Trustworthy - Pr 31:11
  • The husband can safely entrust her with his income
  • She will not squander what he gives her, but use it in a manner that benefits them both
  • Filled with an enduring love - Pr 31:12
  • Devoted to doing her husband good all her life
  • Just as she vowed in the wedding ceremony
  • Has practical skills - Pr 31:13-15,21-22
  • Such as sewing
  • And cooking
  • Industrious - Pr 31:16,24
  • Makes investments (buys land and plants a vineyard)
  • Provides extra income (makes clothing and sells to merchants)
  • Compassionate - Pr 31:20
  • Helping the poor
  • Reaching out to the needy
  • Strong character - Pr 31:25
  • Character matters, and she has developed a strong one
  • Just as Peter stressed in 1Pe 3:3-4
  • Speaks words of wisdom and kindness - Pr 31:26
  • She is thus concerned about what proceeds from her mouth
  • Just as Paul stressed in Ep 4:29
  • Diligently sees to her family's need - Pr 31:27
  • Makes whatever preparation necessary - cf. Pr 31:15
  • So that her family does not go in want - cf. Pr 31:21
  • Fears the Lord - Pr 31:29-30
  • She understands that this quality is more important and praiseworthy than physical beauty
  • With the fear of the Lord, she has the potential for great wisdom - Pr 1:7
  • WHAT A WIFE DOES NOT WANT TO BE...
  • Contentious - cf. Pr 21:9,19
  • Hateful - Pr 30:21-23

[Enough about being a good wife; where can we go in Proverbs to learn about being a good husband...?]

  • THE VIRTUOUS HUSBAND
  • WHERE'S THE PASSAGE DESCRIBING THE VIRTUOUS MAN...?
  • A question often raised by women, sometimes suggesting there is none
  • But bear in mind that the Proverbs are primarily addressed to the man!
  • There is half a chapter describing the virtuous woman
  • There are thirty plus chapters describing the virtuous man!
  • THE IDEAL HUSBAND...
  • Values his wife highly - Pr 18:22; 19:14
  • He realizes that she is a gift from God
  • Especially when she proves to be prudent
  • Gives his wife her due - Pr 31:31
  • Allows his wife the opportunity to develop her own abilities
  • Lets her reap the benefits of her own labors
  • I.e., does not treat her simply as an appendage of himself
  • Praises his wife profusely - Pr 31:28b-29
  • Praises her frequently
  • Does not take her for granted
  • Trusts his wife implicitly - Pr 31:11
  • Demonstrates a willingness to trust her
  • In such areas as her intelligence, her faithfulness, her abilities
  • Is not jealous or suspicious
  • Content with his wife's love - Pr 5:15-21
  • Does not look elsewhere
  • Will save him and his family much harm
  • So much of the joy and meaning of life that God would have us enjoy is lost if there is not a good marriage
"Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life which He has given you under the sun, all your days of vanity; for that is your portion in life, and in the labor which you perform under the sun." - Ec 9:9

The book Of Proverbs can also guide us in developing wholesome families. Our next study shall consider examples of inspired advice on providing for a family and raising children...

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Home » The Meaning of Marriage

The Meaning of Marriage

Emir Zecovic | Posted on May 11, 2022 |

13 min read ⌚ 

The Meaning of Marriage PDF

Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God

Are you single or having marriage problems? Are you, in addition to that, a Christian?

Then you should allow Timothy Keller to explain to you:

The Meaning of Marriage .

Who Should Read “The Meaning of Marriage”? And Why?

The Meaning of Marriage , as Timothy Keller reveals in the “Introduction,” is a book for married and unmarried people, but also a book about the Bible. 

Since, as he says further on, “the foundation of it all is the Bible,” the book is primarily aimed at Christians, be they single, married, or divorced. In fact, it explicitly excludes members of the LGBT+ community by the very definition of marriage it proposes in the “Introduction.” So, read it if you think that marriage is (also) about God; don’t—if you think otherwise. 

The Meaning of Marriage should also appeal to more religious fans of John Gottman and his two most famous books: The Seven Principle for Making Marriages Work and Why Marriages Succeed or Fail .

About Timothy Keller

write a book report on marriage of wisdom

Timothy Keller is an American Christian pastor, apologist, and theologian.

The founding pastor of Redeemer Presbyterian Church in New York City, Keller is most famous as the author of several best-selling books, most notably The Reason for God: Belief in an Age of Skepticism and The Prodigal God: Recovering the Heart of the Christian Faith .

Quite Appropriately, Keller has written The Meaning of Marriage with the help of his wife, Kathy Keller.

Find out more at https://timothykeller.com/  

Book Summary

Based “on a straightforward reading of Biblical texts,” The Meaning of Marriage examines “the Christian understanding of marriage.” 

The misconceptions in how modern-day culture perceives love will have you think that the most important part of your life is to find a soulmate and have you believe that romance is at the very center of that pursuit.

In truth, marriage is not a Disney fairy tale, and being happily married doesn’t essentially mean not experiencing hardships and strains in the relationship, but being able to overcome them together.

Meaning—whenever we mention the word “marriage” below, we’ll be talking about, in the words of the author, “a lifelong, monogamous relationship between a man and a woman.” 

Keller explains his definition further, thus:

According to the Bible, God devised marriage to reflect his saving love for us in Christ, to refine our character, to create stable human community for the birth and nurture of children, and to accomplish all this by bringing the complementary sexes into an enduring whole-life union. It needs to be said, therefore, that this Christian vision for marriage is not something that can be realized by two people of the same sex. That is the unanimous view of the Biblical authors, and therefore that is the view that we assume throughout the rest of this book, even though we don’t directly address the subject of homosexuality.

The substance of The Meaning of Marriage draws on St. Paul’s thoughts on marriage expressed in Ephesians 5:18-33, and, in fact, each (but one) of its eight chapters begin with a quote taken from this passage, quoted in full as an epigraph to the book.

Everything else, as you’ll see in our summary, is basically a commentary on St. Paul.

One: The Secret of Marriage

The epigraph to Chapter 1, “The Secret of Marriage” is Ephesians 5:31-32: “A man shall leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery…”

Keller tries to explain away this mystery as the miracle of “two flawed people coming together to create a space of stability, love, and consolation—a haven in a heartless world.” It is a difficult task, and, unfortunately, it has been made even more difficult by modern understandings of marriage.

The evidence abounds: today, there are twice as many divorces as in 1960; only two-thirds of all births today are to married parents, and only 1 in 10 children were born to unmarried parents just half a century ago. Finally, and most tellingly, over 72% of American adults were married in 1960, but only 50% were in 2008.

The reason?

Well, the unfortunate movement from “we” to “me.” “Marriage used to be a public institution for the common good,” writes Keller, “and now it is a private arrangement for the satisfaction of the individuals. Marriage used to be about us, but now it is about me.”

Ironically, it is this newfound freedom in marriage ( David Brooks would say “radical individualization” ) that has made spouses a little less free than before and much unhappier. 

Nowadays, you can marry everyone you want, and because of Disney and Hollywood, you expect to find “the perfectly compatible person.” It’s either that or nothing. The problem is that “perfect” doesn’t exist, so many are left with nothing, “desperately trapped between both unrealistic longings for and terrible fears about marriage.”

Don’t believe Keller?

Here’s a curious stat: two-thirds of unhappy marriages should become happy within half a decade if people opt to stay married over getting divorced!

Two: The Power of Marriage

Chapter 2 is preceded by Ephesians 5:21: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

Here Keller presents Paul’s thesis that “all married partners need the work of the Holy Spirit in their lives.” 

It is only through the work of the Spirit that we can fight against the main enemy of marriage: self-centeredness!

This is where Keller’s attack on the new notion of marriage—a union where two people can be as free as when single—really comes to the surface.

That, he says, is simply impossible!

When you decide on a career—be it a career in medicine, law, or the arts—the thing everybody asks you to do so that you can succeed is surrender . You don’t become a writer without making a few sacrifices and dedicating your free time to writing, do you? And you don’t become a successful lawyer by simultaneously studying for a doctor’s degree, right? Well, why should marriage be any different?

“Whether we are husband or wife,” writes Keller, “we are not to live for ourselves but for the other.  And that is the hardest, yet single most important function of being a husband or a wife in marriage.”

Keller says that in a union—any kind of union—you have three possibilities (and three possibilities only): you can serve with joy, you can make an offer to serve with resentment or coldness, or you can selfishly insist on your own way.

Only one of these choices leads to happiness and fulfillment in marriage, and we don’t need to tell you which one.

Three: The Essence of Marriage

In the third chapter of The Meaning of Marriage (which opens with Ephesians 5:31), Keller gets the reader “into the heart of what marriage is all about—namely, love .”

Of course, the question he tries to give an answer to here is one of the oldest ones in the book: what, in God’s name, is love actually? 

Contrary to what you think, love is not just another name for the butterflies in your stomach when you meet the one you think is the one.

“When you first fall in love,” reminds us Keller, “you think you love the person, but you don’t really. You can’t know who the person is right away. That takes years. You actually love your idea of the person—and that is always, at first, one-dimensional and somewhat mistaken.”

The real love comes after this when you actually get to meet the person you’ve fallen in love with. In fact, argues Keller, love is almost never what happens in the present: it is what gives validity to the promises for the future.

To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw us .

True love is not just horizontal—it is vertical as well. When a covenant is made before God, God is also a part of the marriage. And when He is there, every broken promise is paid doubly.

Four: The Mission of Marriage

Now, you might ask, why would one need a “horizontal” relationship with somebody from the opposite sex if he can connect on a “vertical” level, and bask joyfully in the eternal love of God?

First of all, think of it (of course, only metaphorically if you’re religious) as a sort of design flaw: Adam lived in the Garden of Eden and had the privilege of conversing with God Himself, and yet, he felt alone and needed an Eve to be complete.

Ever since every one of us feels pretty much the same. To paraphrase Black, “We need a friend, oh, we need a friend—to make us happy, not stand here on our own…” Our spouse should, in (Christian) theory, be our best friend.

And that means much more than you think. Namely, it doesn’t merely mean having someone around you to understand you, but also having someone able to “see your flaws, imperfections, weaknesses, dependencies” and yet see beneath them the person you can become, “the person God wants you to be.”

Once again, love is not about the present you: it is about the future of us. And that’s the mission of marriage: transforming you into someone you can be, someone you would have never become in the absence of the Other.

Five: Loving the Stranger

Chapter five carries on with this discussion, exploring further the relationship between the present and the future in marriage, between knowledge and love.

And it starts with a telling quote from American theologian Stanley Hauerwas who argued in “Sex and Politics: Bertrand Russell and ‘Human Sexuality’” that the primary problem in marriage is “learning how to love and care for the stranger to whom you find yourself married.”

No matter how long you’ve dated somebody before, marrying him/her means marrying a stranger—because marriage brings out many traits in both you and your partner that, up to that moment, were hidden from everybody.

And now the real fight begins!

And, interestingly enough, it is a twofold fight: you’re not only confronted with the real person that is your spouse but also with the real person that you yourself are.

But, that’s why you have each other: to see in one another the “better person” that each of you can become and to help each other on the way.

That’s why, writes Keller, “one of the most basic skills in marriage is the ability to tell the straight, unvarnished truth about what your spouse has done—and then, completely, unself-righteously, and joyously express forgiveness without a shred of superiority, without making the other person feel small.”

Six: Embracing the Other

Chapter 6 is written entirely by Timothy’s wife, Kathy Keller; understandably, since it addresses one of the most controversial issues in Christian marriage, formulated by St. Paul in Ephesians 5:22-3, thus: “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.”

Kathy combines these verses with Ephesians 5:25 (“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her”) to speak about a pretty controversial topic nowadays: gender differences.

Unsurprisingly, she says that there are quite a few and that these naturally result in two different functions: that of the husband, and that of the wife. It was always God’s plan to make males and females different. And it was always a part of our duties to live in tune with our designs.

As far as women are concerned, this means voluntary submission, i.e., “a gift offered… not a duty coerced.” Marriage is all about embracing Otherness, which is why homosexual marriages inhibit growth, as opposed to heterosexual ones.

“A person of one’s own sex is not as likely to have as much Otherness to embrace,” writes Kathy, “But God’s plan for married couples involves embracing the otherness to make us unified, and that can only happen between a man and a woman.”

Seven: Singleness and Marriage

OK, if the above is true as far as homosexuals are concerned, what does that say about single people? They have even less Otherness to embrace. And if the mission of marriage is to make one more than he/she already is, does that mean that single people are, by default, not as fulfilled as married people?

To tell you the truth, we don’t think the Kellers address this question properly. 

They say that, nowadays, when so many people put so much burden on marriage and have so many expectations from it, singleness results in depression and despair. They actually feel unfulfilled and unsatisfied, and even envious of other people’s happiness.

If you are a Christian, however, that doesn’t happen, since you already have “a deeply fulfilling love relationship with Christ now, and hope in a perfect love relationship with him in the future.” This may inspire you to find a spouse, but it can also help you live a fairly fulfilled life without one.

Of course, if that is so, then marriage has little meaning; and if it is not, then you cannot live on Christ’s love alone (see the summary of chapter 4 for more).

Eight: Sex and Marriage

“For this reason,” says St. Paul in Ephesians 5:31, “a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 

This act of “becoming one flesh,” however, has rarely been considered as something holy. In fact, quite the contrary: sex was a “dirty deed” in the eyes of many Christian theologians and thinkers, which is why it was also seen as unholy by many governments throughout history.

Keller says that this is not supported by the Bible and that “Biblical Christianity may be the most body-positive religion in the world.”

Even more, he says, that “sex is perhaps the most powerful God-created way to help you give your entire self to another human being.  Sex is God’s appointed way for two people to reciprocally say to one another, ‘I belong completely, permanently, and exclusively to you.’

“You must not use sex to say anything less,” concludes Keller and makes his case for sex in marriage is the only acceptable form of sex:

The Bible says don’t unite with someone physically unless you are also willing to unite with the person emotionally, personally, socially, economically, and legally. Don’t become physically naked and vulnerable to the other person without becoming vulnerable in every other way, because you have given up your freedom and bound yourself in marriage. Then, once you have given yourself in marriage, sex is a way of maintaining and deepening that union as the years go by.

Sex, for Keller, is both a uniting act and a covenant renewal service; and it is just as important as love. In fact, it should be understood in much the same manner: it is not something you get , but something you give .

To one and one person only.

Key Lessons from “The Meaning of Marriage”

1.      You Will Never Find a Perfect Partner 2.      Knowledge Without Love Is Dreadful; Love Without Knowledge Is Superficial 3.      Marriage Is About Serving the Other (and Serving God)

You Will Never Find a Perfect Partner

No matter how much you try, you’ll never find such a thing as a “soul mate,” i.e., “a perfectly compatible match.” 

Forget Disney and Hollywood: “happily married ever after” is a thing of fancy.

Marriage is much harder than you think; but, also, much more rewarding.

Knowledge Without Love Is Dreadful; Love Without Knowledge Is Superficial

So, finding someone perfectly compatible was never the point of marriage. 

Because, in that case, growth is inhibited. And marriage is all about growth, all about finding someone who’ll love you not for the way you are at the moment, but for what you can become in the future.

In fact, marriage is, almost always, a union between two strangers. We fall in love with the idea of a person, and that is not love—it’s just a superficial, physiologically explainable feeling. Only after really understanding someone do you know your true feelings for him/her.

That’s why, when you love somebody even after finding out most of his/her traits, you can be absolutely sure that you actually love him/her.

Marriage Is About Serving the Other 

Marriage writes Keller, “is a way for two spiritual friends to help each other on their journey to become the persons God designed them to be.”

In other words, marriage means becoming more than you are with the help of someone else. To allow this process, you need to surrender yourself to someone else.

And by surrendering, we do mean “surrendering”: marriage is not the place to look for freedom. Quite the opposite, it is the place where you find the right boundaries.

Just like religion.

This is why a Christian marriage (if we believe the Kellers) beats non-Christian marriages: once you learn to be submissive to Christ, it’s easier to learn to surrender to a fellow human being.

After all, those are the two Great commandments, aren’t they ?

Like this summary? We’d like to invite you to download our free 12 min app for more amazing summaries and audiobooks.

“The Meaning of Marriage Quotes”

Our critical review.

Unlike many too one-sided Christian books on the subject, The Meaning of Marriage has a lot to offer and is quite rich with both insights and wisdom that should certainly help its readers, be they single or married.

However, we found it difficult to take much of it seriously since it’s often self-contradicting, and it almost never takes into consideration what should marriage mean for those who are not Christians.

So, if you are a Christian, this book justifies the title and will teach you a lot, not only about the meaning of marriage but also about the meaning of life. However, if you are not, you’ll probably find almost nothing of value on most of its pages.

Emir Zecovic

Emir is the Head of Marketing  at 12min . In his spare time, he loves to meditate and play soccer.

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17 Proverbs for a Stronger, Happier Marriage

January 12, 2024 Bible Verses , Family

The Book of Proverbs is the greatest collection of wisdom ever put to paper (or…originally, papyrus or parchment). If you want to enjoy a strong, healthy, and happy marriage, you would do well to regularly read and study the Book of Proverbs and incorporate its divinely inspired wisdom into your life and home.

I’ve selected 17 (seventeen) passages from Proverbs and have applied them to marriage. I easily could have selected 117. For this reason, I encourage you to read through Proverbs yourself (and with your spouse) — and see what other verses or passages speak to you.

It should also be noted that, in most cases, the proverbs I’ve listed below don’t just apply to marriage. They apply to many aspects of our lives, but for this article, I’ve chosen to focus the application on marriage.

Here we go…

Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding. -Proverbs 4:7

Marriage involves the merging of two imperfect people (with different backgrounds, perspectives, opinions, preferences, personalities, and so on) into one household. You need wisdom! Indeed, you need it so much that you should consider the acquisition of wisdom to be the “principal” priority in your life — practically speaking. Get wisdom. Your marriage depends on it.

Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. -Proverbs 4:23

When Jesus was asked about divorce, He explained that Moses granted divorce “because of the hardness of your hearts” (see Matthew 19:8-9). Marriages fail today for much the same reason: the hardness of hearts. One of the best ways to sabotage your marriage is to harden your heart.

If you want to maintain a loving marriage, you must keep (or guard) your heart “with all diligence.” It takes work — consistent, hard work — to “keep your heart” or “guard your heart.” But the quality of your life –and the success of your marriage — depends on your doing so.

Wise men lay up knowledge: but the mouth of the foolish is near destruction. -Proverbs 10:14

If you are a wise person, then you are a continual learner. If you’re not a continual learner, then you are NOT a wise person. If you’re content to not be wise, then you’re a fool. I know that’s blunt but that’s exactly what Solomon is saying in Proverbs 10:14.

What’s more, Solomon adds that people who run their mouth — that is, when those people don’t take the time to understand what they’re talking about — are “near destruction.” In other words, they are headed for destruction and those who listen to them are headed for destruction.

Have you ever noticed that wise people say little while ignorant and foolish people say much?

Solomon noticed that too.

Let’s apply this to marriage…

If you want to be a wise husband or wise wife, you will be a continual learner. You will commit to learning about God, marriage, your spouse, and yourself. And you will continually study how you can be better.

Strive not with a man without cause, if he have done thee no harm. -Proverbs 3:30

This is great advice all around. It’s basically Solomon saying “Pick your battles.” In fact, he’s really saying “Pick only the absolutely necessary battles.” Don’t add unnecessary drama to your life or to your home. Life is too short for that kind of drama.

There will be times when you have to confront people (including your spouse) and risk conflict in order to get to a healthy and proper resolution, but there are also times when you can (and should) avoid conflict. This is especially the case when the other party — in our context for this article, your spouse — has not done you any harm.

Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins. -Proverbs 10:12

In this verse, Solomon warns that שִׂנְאָה (sin’ah) stirs up conflict. When שִׂנְאָה (sin’ah) is present, it results in intense dislike or ill will. When you harbor שִׂנְאָה (sin’ah) toward someone, you want nothing to do with that person and you generally want bad for that person.

Before you protest “I don’t hate my spouse. I just–” Stop! Do you harbor bitterness toward your spouse? Resentment? Contempt? Intense dislike? All of that is in view with this proverb.

Even taking a step down from hatred, consider the effect negative emotions have on conflict. You’ll find that the more dislike, frustration, or annoyance you have toward your spouse, the more your spouse’s faults, flaws, or transgressions will be magnified in your mind.

By contrast, the more you love your spouse, the more you will overlook and/or show grace for his or her flaws, faults, and transgressions.

Important Side Note: This verse isn’t against accountability. You have an obligation to do right by your spouse and your family in general.

Important Side Note #2: If you are the victim of egregious sins (such as abuse, infidelity, etc.), you need to get help. Seeking out appropriate intervention, setting boundaries, and/or taking steps to protect yourself or your children are acts of love. Get the help you need.

He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly. -Proverbs 14:29

Fools fly off the handle. Fools are driven by their temper. Fools have little control over their emotions. Fools rage and scorn and ridicule.

By contrast, wise people are “slow to wrath.”

Which are you?

A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. -Proverbs 15:1

Conflict is part of life and it’s part of marriage. So, it will happen from time to time. Expect it. Count on it. The important issue is…

What do you do with that conflict?

Do you escalate it or de-escalate it?

If you wish to de-escalate and reduce conflict in your home, discipline yourself to speak softly. This doesn’t just mean to speak in a low volume. It means to take the edge out of your words too. You can chop someone to pieces with your words — even while keeping your voice at a low volume. So, when Solomon talks about a “soft answer,” he means more than just a low-volume answer.

You can choose to make your words feathers or knives.

It comes down to a simple question…

Do you want to hurt your spouse? If the answer is yes, you need to reexamine your heart.

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. -Proverbs 31:10-12

This famous passage praises virtuous wives. Sadly, in our age of cynicism, easy offense, and perpetual outrage, Proverbs 31 is sometimes seen as condescending toward women or even as misogynistic. If this passage strikes you in that spirit, may I suggest that you need to reexamine your worldview? As Paul the Apostle says, do “not be conformed to this world” (see Romans 12:1-2).

Assuming you’ve not been corrupted by this world and can see Proverbs 31 in the positive light it deserves to be read…

The entire passage is a lesson on what men (in particular) should desire in a marriage. They should not be shallow or chase vanity. They should look for a wife characterized by virtue and integrity – a wife they can trust with their heart.

If you’re tempted to think that only women are held to this standard of virtue and men can live however they want, then you haven’t read the rest of the Book of Proverbs, nor have you read what Paul and Peter say specifically to husbands in the New Testament! Besides…

It takes a virtuous man to seek out a virtuous woman.

When two virtuous people marry each other, it’s what we call a “win-win.”

A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter. -Proverbs 11:13

When it comes to the issue of trust, your spouse should be able to trust you with all of his or her secrets.

Each person has pain in their past, struggles in their present, and parts of their life they would like kept secret. You should be able to trust your spouse with these secrets. And he or she should be able to likewise trust you.

Don’t be the spouse who blabs the secrets of your wife or husband or marriage to others. Be worthy of your spouse’s trust and your spouse’s heart.

Your spouse should be able to be completely open and vulnerable with you — without fear that you will expose them to others. That is the foundation of true intimacy.

In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise. -Proverbs 10:19

Just because something comes into your mind doesn’t mean it should come out of your mouth. Know when to speak and when to close your mouth.

This may seem contradictory to the previous point about intimacy within marriage but it’s not. You shouldn’t have a secret life from your spouse, nor should you have secret burdens. But…

You don’t need to air all your opinions, preferences, or emotions all the time. And when you do need to share some things on your mind, you can do so with a filter.

Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands. -Proverbs 14:1

This proverb was originally written with women in mind as it was written at a time and in a culture when wives managed the home. This is true still in many situations but obviously, not as much as was the case in Israel in 1000 BC.

This proverb can today be applied to anyone with management responsibilities in the home — be it the husband or wife or both. And here’s the application…

Don’t let laziness, selfishness, anger, disappointment, the desire for revenge, sin, or any such thing cause you to tear down your home. You should be in the business of building up your home, not tearing it down.

The liberal soul shall be made fat: and he that watereth shall be watered also himself. -Proverbs 11:25

According to Solomon, the בְּרָכָה (berakhah) soul “shall be made fat.” Obviously, Solomon isn’t literally commending obesity. He’s saying that a person with a בְּרָכָה (berakhah) soul will overflow with blessings.

The term בְּרָכָה (berakhah) is translated as “liberal” in the King James Version and “generous” in the New King James Version.

What Solomon is saying is that, if you want to overflow with blessings, you should be the person who blesses others generously or liberally.

Applying this to marriage…

If you want to enjoy blessings in marriage, bless your spouse. Not as a direct quid pro quo but by BECOMING and REMAINING a generous soul. Don’t focus on what you will get. Focus on what you give. And then, Solomon promises, at some point, you yourself will be blessed.

Stolen waters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant. But he knoweth not that the dead are there; and that her guests are in the depths of hell. -Proverbs 9:17-18

There are a few layers of meaning to this proverb. I encourage you to read all of Proverbs 9 — really the whole Book of Proverbs, but Proverbs 9 in particular to get a better idea of context for this passage. In Proverbs 9, Solomon talks about two women. The first is a personification of Wisdom, the second is a personification of Folly.

Folly offers pleasure, fun, and even excitement. Wisdom promises great rewards, particularly in the long term, but requires patience, perseverance, and delayed gratification. Throughout the entire Book of Proverbs, Solomon encourages his readers to pursue the latter. But…

By the end of the chapter, he laments that many heed the voice of folly and seek her out because “stolen waters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant.”

If we want a fulfilling marriage, pursue wisdom and honor. Don’t let yourself be seduced by the lure of short-term pleasure, excitement, or drama (including what you look at online, watch on TV, or the people you hang out with) — and wind up “in the depths of hell.”

Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well. -Proverbs 5:15

To understand the full context, you need to read Proverbs 5, which is Solomon giving candid advice to his son (likely Rehoboam) on marriage and infidelity. When you understand that context, then you know Solomon isn’t really talking about water and wells. He’s using these things as a metaphor. He’s talking about sex.

Sex is a big deal.

And Solomon is saying that a husband should fulfill his sexual desires within the context of his marriage — and not seek it outside of marriage.

Now, again, in our unfortunate Age of Easy Offense and Knee-Jerk Outrage, some readers today will recoil at this idea, condemning the sexism and the “objectification” of women. That is not the intent of this passage!!!

When you’re reading Proverbs 5, you have the privilege of reading a father’s advice to his son. Read it in that spirit. If only more men gave such candid advice to their sons today!

Obviously, a mother’s candid advice to her daughter would be worded differently, but… it would be similar. At least if we’re talking about a God-honoring woman advising her daughter. I say that because…

The principles of Proverbs 5 apply to both husbands and wives.

We are sexual beings. If we weren’t, there wouldn’t be a human race. God wired sexual desire into the human race so that children would be brought into this world through marriage. Yes, it’s of course possible for children to be born outside of marriage but this was never God’s plan (see Genesis 1 and 2). Indeed, the idea of seeking sexual gratification outside of marriage is precisely what Solomon is warning his son against.

Now, Solomon was human. He was a sinner. And, as such, he sinned — in his case, he sinned by multiplying wives (a clear violation of God’s original plan in Genesis and also the Torah – see Deuteronomy 17:17). So, Solomon is not perfect. He sinned himself. But this doesn’t negate the wisdom of what he says to his son in Proverbs 5.

Bottom line: Husbands and wives are to fulfill their sexual needs and desires in full intimacy within marriage. They are to “drink water” from their own “cistern.” They are not to step outside their marriage. When they do, they bring only trouble upon their marriage and themselves.

Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging: and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise. -Proverbs 20:1

If you want to sabotage your marriage, drunkenness can do it. So can drugs or any such addiction, but the most common addiction in Solomon’s day was drunkenness.

In this proverb, Solomon warns that “wine is a mocker.” He’s of course referring to fermented wine — alcoholic wine. And he calls it a mocker. Think of wine mocking you with words like:

  • “I don’t bite.”
  • “You can handle me.”
  • “Just one more won’t hurt.”
  • You get the idea — wine is a “mocker”

What Solomon calls “strong drink” was any alcoholic beverage other than wine. In biblical times, fermented wine was the most popular alcoholic beverage of choice in the Ancient Near East. But beer was also somewhat common, and Solomon definitely had that in mind when he said “strong drink.” The application today would obviously be any alcoholic beverage.

He says that alcoholic beverages are “raging.” They represent drama, anger, turbulence, conflict, destruction.

And then he concludes this proverb by saying anyone who falls for wine or strong drink is “not wise.” That’s the kind way of saying foolish.

My advice is to abstain from alcohol completely. Don’t bring it into your home. I know there are many Christians who disagree with me on that. I can make a strong argument from Scripture that the alcohol we drink today is NOT what Paul was referring to when he encouraged Timothy to “have a little wine” for the sake of his stomach (see I Timothy 5:23), but I’ll save that for another article. For now, I’ll simply say this…

If you want a healthy marriage, say no to drunkenness or any dependency whatsoever on alcohol!

The same principle applies to drugs.

Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom. -Proverbs 13:10

Pride isn’t just bragging or thinking you’re the greatest thing since sliced bread. Pride comes down to how much importance you place on yourself. It really comes down to how much you think about yourself — your wants, your needs, you period.

This isn’t to say that you should be a doormat. I’m not saying you shouldn’t communicate your legitimate needs or that you should let your spouse take advantage of you or be abusive towards you. I’m not saying anything of the sort. But these words from Paul come to mind…

Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. Philippians 2:3-4, KJV

Pride is doing the exact opposite of what Paul says. Pride is looking out solely or primarily for your ego, your interests, your desires, your happiness — and putting everyone else second. By contrast, someone who is mindful of his own needs but esteems his wife better than himself is a man of humility. Such a man doesn’t just look out for his own interests (or “things”) but looks out for the needs and interests of his wife. That’s humility.

As the great Christian writer said of pride’s opposite: “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.” Want a healthy marriage? Think of yourself less.

He that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind: and the fool shall be servant to the wise of heart. -Proverbs 11:29

Do you bring trouble on your house? The Hebrew word behind “troubleth” is derived from the root עכר (akar). This verb means to disturb, trouble, or ruin. It implies causing disruption or harm. This can be done through abuse, neglect, addictions, harshness, negativity, withholding love and affection, and so forth. It can be done via sins of commission or omission. And the consequences?

This metaphor suggests that one who causes trouble in his own family will gain nothing of real value. Just as the wind is intangible and ungraspable, so will be the outcome of their actions. It implies futility and the absence of real, lasting rewards.

Do not bring trouble to your marriage or into your house. Be someone who instead injects faith, hope, and love into your family.

I hope these proverbs have encouraged you. I hope they will encourage you to read the entire Book of Proverbs. It’s well worth your time.

Your marriage is worth it.

God bless you!

For more of my writing, check out:

  • “Was Sex the Forbidden Fruit in the Garden of Eden?”
  • “What Does the Bible Say About Identity, Sex, Marriage, and Family?”
  • “Sacred Sexuality: 10 Bible Passages That Teach Sexual Morality”

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Wisdom that Resonates: Marriage Verses in the Bible

Rachael Pace

Rachael Pace inspires with motivational articles on loving partnerships. She encourages making room for love and facing challenges together.

Marriage in the bible

Applying biblical principles to a marriage can lay a strong foundation and help gain a better understanding of what being married entails.

People have a tendency to view marriage as an ultimate goal, which is great, but many also develop this idea that things are going to be smooth sailing after saying, “I do.”

The definition of marriage in the bible is an intimate and complementing union in which two become one flesh for a lifetime.

God’s design for marriage is then discussed, which includes partners creating a family unit, monogamy, and so on. Several Bible verses about marriage address significant aspects of marriage that spouses can use as a guide.

Let’s take a closer look at the topic of marriage in the bible, God’s design for it, and go over a few marriage bible verses .

What does the Bible say about marriage?

God designed man and wife to become one flesh and for partners to create a family unit. This family unit is created through the sexual relationship spouses have, which allows them to produce children.

Going back to man and wife becoming “one flesh” ( Genesis 2:24 ). His second principle of marriage is that it lasts a lifetime since husband and wife do become one.

A lifelong commitment best reflects that unity, which is more reason to consistently work on maintaining a healthy, happy, and fulfilling relationship . Included in that relationship is, of course, monogamy.

In the bible, both man and wife are singular words. This indicates that marriage is a partnership between two people and two people only. This is emphasized at various points in Scripture.

All of the above give couples a sense of direction and even, more importantly, reveals the comfort and stability associated with finding that life partner .

God’s design for marriage is the best possible blueprint and covers the basics of what marriage really means, as well as what it should entail.

Bible verses about marriage and what they teach us

Along with clearly stating the design for marriage, several bible marriage scriptures go  more in-depth about the topic of marriage. The verses below can teach us all a little something about the significance of a union.

“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” (Ecclesiastes 4:12)

This scripture about marriage beautifully represents the partnership and support that comes with marriage. Once married, there is always someone there to have your back and support you whenever support is needed.

Having that support provides an amazing sense of security and stability, unlike any other. This is why remaining unified is so important.

“Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” (Hebrews 13:4)

This scripture on marriage is very simple. When you marry, you must remain faithful. Infidelity is just wrong and will cause hurt and distrust if not ruin a relationship, along with making the marriage impure.  

Marriage, according to the bible, is something to respect and cherish. Spouses must honor their relationship by staying committed to their selected partners.

“The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise, the wife to her husband.” (Corinthians 7:3)

The “marital duty” being referenced is sex. Sex often becomes an issue in marriage for a number of reasons. Unfortunately, many fail to realize the huge impact deprivation can have on a marriage.

Sex, rather than being solely for pleasure, is a way to strengthen the marital bond consistently. Sexual expression is a great tool to help couples build intimacy .

Y ielding each other’s bodies to one another further signifies spouses being one. Sex is also beneficial from an individual standpoint.

Feeling desirable builds confidence, and healthy self-confidence promotes an equally healthy relationship.

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8)

This bible verses for marriage can certainly strengthen marriag e and passes on the message that love conquers all. No one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes, and those mistakes will happen in marriage.

Both you and your spouse are going to mess up at times. You may say something hurtful, or a promise may be broken. Love will promote forgiveness and allow both parties to move past issues.

“Be completely humble and gentle; Be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace.” (Ephesians 4:2-3)

Marriage is all about love, kindness, patience, and staying grounded.

Those four things promote a healthy relationship by encouraging understanding, keeping the lines of communication open, and making sure both partners feel loved, understood, and supported.

All of the above also establish a certain level of respect which every marriage needs. That is how two people maintain a lasting emotional, physical, and mental bond.

“For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.” (Ephesians 5:25 )

This   bible quote about marriage talks about the foremost priority of a husband to his wife.

It derives a reference of Christ and indicates how he sacrificed himself for the people that believed in him. It emphasizes that in marriage, we must be committed to making sacrifices for our spouse.

As an authority of his family, a husband must love and dedicate their lives for the good of thier wives if need be.

 “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?” ( Ecclesiastes 4:9)

In this  bible verse on marriage, Solomon speaks of the importance of working together and how working together has greater rewards than being alone.

If either of them is hurt or injured, then the other would be able to help them out, and together they can keep each other warm on a cold night.

There are many valuable scriptures about marriage in the bible. God’s teachings are not only a way to enhance spirituality, but those teachings contain wisdom that resonates.

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Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships Read more and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together. Read less

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  1. How to Write the Perfect Book Report (4 easy steps)

    Step 2. Once you have finished reading the book and have taken thorough notes, it is time to start organizing your thoughts. Create an outline to structure your report like the one in the example above. Make sure you over all the necessary components.

  2. The marriage of wisdom, and other tales

    Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book! ... 9 (16%) Search review text. Filters. Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews. Abraham Barry. 1 review. Want to read. September 23, 2019. Write and explain the conflict and tragedy in the story marriage of wisdom. ... Want to know the setting, characters, theme and the plot ...

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    The marriage of wisdom, and other tales. 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars. Question about The marriage of wisdom, and other tales: "what is the moral lesson learned in marriage of wisdom?".

  4. The Marriage of Wisdom and Method (Marco Pallis) PDF

    The Marriage of Wisdom and Method (Marco Pallis).pdf - Free download as PDF File (.pdf), Text File (.txt) or read online for free. The bell (dilb u in Tibetan) stands for wisdom, while Method is represented by the dorje (vajra in Sanskrit), a root that is also present in the name darjeeling, which means "the place of the Dorje" the lamas say that both these principles must be brought into play ...

  5. PDF Making Marriage Beautiful

    MAKING MARRIAGE BEAUTIFUL. "With careful precision, Dorothy Greco examines the complexities, pain, and beauty inherent in our marriages and guides us chapter by hope-filled chapter into the wisdom needed to cultivate marriages that overflow with love and beauty.". "A remarkably honest and profoundly wise road map for real marriage—the ...

  6. Four Pearls of Wisdom to Benefit Your Marriage

    Pearl of Wisdom #2: Communication. I've been widowed twice and married three times, but most of the wisdom to benefit marriage that I learned came during my first marriage to my husband, Bill, the father of my children and grandfather to my grands. It took twenty-two years for us to learn to communicate well.

  7. How to Read Wisdom Literature

    1. Acknowledge how easy it is to become wise in our own eyes. First, one should read Wisdom Literature with the acknowledgment of how easy it is for sinners to become "wise in their own eyes.". The book of Proverbs often speaks of this serious problem ( Prov. 3:7; 12:15; 26:5; 28:11; also Isa. 5:21 ). Indeed, a person "wise in his own ...

  8. Proverbs: God's Wisdom in Marriage

    In the book of Proverbs, Solomon is writing primarily to middle schoolers through almost married couples. He is explaining and imparting wisdom. In last week's sermon, we looked at the way of the righteous versus the way of the wicked. The overall picture of Proverbs is that wisdom is like a woman.

  9. Wisdom for Marriage

    First we will examine the wisdom of Proverbs and Ecclesiastes, and later we will survey the Song of Songs. Proverbs 5:15-19 - In this chapter of the book of Proverbs, a father is warning his son about the dangers of sexual immorality, saying that it will cost him his honor (v.9a), vitality (v.9b), wealth (v.10), health (v.11), and self ...

  10. The Marriage of Wisdom, and Other Tales

    Get Textbooks on Google Play. Rent and save from the world's largest eBookstore. Read, highlight, and take notes, across web, tablet, and phone.

  11. The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the

    Christian books on marriage are an abundant genre, and most tend to be either practical or theological (or at least better at one than the other). What makes Tim and Kathy Keller's The Meaning of Marriage the new standard for books of its kind, in my judgment, is its combination of practical/cultural sensitivities with a clear theological foundation in the gospel. The book's purpose is to ...

  12. 66 Happy Marriage Quotes That Will Inspire Every Couple

    Love Quotes to Inspire Happy Marriage From Writers and Poets. "A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short." —André Maurois. "Sensual pleasures have the fleeting ...

  13. 19 Christian Marriage Books: Guidance for Christian Couples

    9. Let Me Be a Woman by Elisabeth Elliot (1976) Elisabeth Elliot, in this thoughtful exploration, provides insights on womanhood and marriage from a biblical perspective. She combines personal reflections with biblical wisdom to guide women in embracing their God-given roles and finding fulfillment in them.

  14. Sermons From Proverbs

    Just as she vowed in the wedding ceremony. Has practical skills - Pr 31:13-15, 21-22. Such as sewing. And cooking. Industrious - Pr 31:16, 24. Makes investments (buys land and plants a vineyard) Provides extra income (makes clothing and sells to merchants) Compassionate - Pr 31:20. Helping the poor.

  15. Marriage of Wisdom : And Other Stories from Liberia

    Get Textbooks on Google Play. Rent and save from the world's largest eBookstore. Read, highlight, and take notes, across web, tablet, and phone.

  16. The Meaning of Marriage Summary

    The Meaning of Marriage, as Timothy Keller reveals in the "Introduction," is a book for married and unmarried people, but also a book about the Bible. Since, as he says further on, "the foundation of it all is the Bible," the book is primarily aimed at Christians, be they single, married, or divorced. In fact, it explicitly excludes ...

  17. The Meaning of Marriage

    Think of this book as a tree supplied by three deep roots. The first is my thirty-seven-year marriage to my wife, Kathy.1 She helped me write this book, and she herself wrote chapter 6, Embracing the Other. In chapter 1, I caution readers about the way contemporary culture defines "soul mate" as "a perfectly compatible match."

  18. 17 Proverbs for a Stronger, Happier Marriage

    The Book of Proverbs is the greatest collection of wisdom ever put to paper (or...originally, papyrus or parchment). If you want to enjoy a strong, healthy, and happy marriage, you would do well to regularly read and study the Book of Proverbs and incorporate its divinely inspired wisdom into your life and home. I've selected 17 (seventeen) passages from Proverbs and have applied them to ...

  19. Wisdom That Resonates: Marriage in the Bible

    Love will promote forgiveness and allow both parties to move past issues. "Be completely humble and gentle; Be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace." (Ephesians 4:2-3) Marriage is all about love, kindness, patience, and staying grounded.

  20. Marriage: 6 Guidelines from Ancient Wisdom Texts

    The talking together of 'verbal intercourse' and enjoying sexual interactions both are considered vital ingredients of a full and healthy marriage relationship. 2. Monogamy must be protected ...

  21. Wisdom For Your Marriage: A 31-Day Couples Devotional G…

    Whether your marriage is struggling, just okay, or great, this book will challenge you and help you build a stronger marriage. You will find this book both easy to read and very practical. Spark new intimacy in your relationship with our book "Wisdom For Your Marriage", a 31-day devotional guide through the book of Proverbs.

  22. Wisdom For Your Marriage

    Whether your marriage is struggling, just okay, or great, this book will challenge you and help you build a stronger marriage. You will find this book both easy to read and very practical. Spark new intimacy in your relationship with our book "Wisdom For Your Marriage", a 31-day devotional guide through the book of Proverbs.

  23. 7 Rings of Marriage Bible Study Book: Practical Biblical Wisdom for

    Rate this book From the engagement ring to years after the wedding ring, every season of a marriage requires renewed commitment, fresh perspective, and practical Biblical wisdom. Each of the 7 "rings" outlined in this study will teach couples to view their marriage with the end in mind, ultimately leading to a lasting and fulfilling ...