essay about i change my lifestyle

8 Lifestyle Changes To Improve Your Quality Of Life

Many individuals can pinpoint times in their lives when they wanted to feel happier, healthier, or more fulfilled. Various factors, including your mental and physical health, relationships, and diet, can impact your quality of life. 

If you feel stuck, tending to various facets of your life can help you flourish. If you’re struggling to adapt to a healthier lifestyle all at once, start small. Consider trying one new activity or habit each week or month so that you don’t overwhelm yourself. Taking healthy habits one step at a time may be more beneficial than never trying something new at all. 

Signs you might be ready for a change

There may be indicators within your life that it’s time to make lifestyle changes. A few of those signs could include:

• Lack of enjoyment
• Unhealthy relationships
• Feeling unfulfilled
• Substance use
• High levels of stress
• Feeling down
• Physical health concerns
• A mental health diagnosis

This list may not cover every reason. You may experience other signs that indicate a change is in order. If you feel that you’re not living your best life physically, mentally, emotionally, in your relationships, or at work, it could be time to consider making lifestyle adjustments.

Lifestyle changes to improve your quality of life

Lifestyle changes are modifications you might make to your everyday routines. Some habits may take time to develop, so try slowly integrating them into your daily life. 

For example, if you’d like to take up running, consider starting with two or three miles per week and gradually adding more to your efforts over time. Lifestyle changes may be more likely to stick  if they’re achievable and specific, so try to set out well-defined goals you know you can accomplish.

Instead of striving to take on all the strategies below in one day, consider focusing your energy on one goal and taking on more over time as you become more comfortable with past goals. 

1. Eat a balanced diet

Your eating habits can  impact your health ; the food you eat may affect how much energy you have and can impact your ability to get a whole night’s rest.

Changing your eating habits to include more balanced nutrition may go a long way toward improving your quality of life. Consider speaking to a nutritionist to find out which types of food work best for your body. There are  many diets available that can target different areas of health, such as inflammation or gut health. Everyone is different, so what is considered “eating healthier” for your body may not work in the same for someone else. 

The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) also  recommends limiting foods high in added sugars, fat, and sodium. One way to eat a more balanced diet is by prepping nutrient-dense meals each week, which may save you time. If you’re struggling to cook dinner each night, you might also sign up for a meal delivery or grocery delivery service to make it simpler to eat healthier.

2. Stay active

Exercise is one behavior that can positively impact several aspects of life, not just physical health. In one study, researchers found a strong link between physical activity and quality of life . Being active can provide you with more energy and help you stay motivated to participate in activities you enjoy. 

Exercise may improve your mental health by releasing endorphins in your brain that can boost your mood. These endorphins may enhance your self-esteem and help you develop more confidence. If you find an activity that you enjoy, you are likely to be successful in making it a part of your routine, and maintain the habit over time.

You can go for daily walks, join a gym, do yard work, or create an at-home workout routine to get more exercise. Consider starting an exercise log to keep yourself accountable and track your progress. You can also join exercise classes or an exercise support group like Couch to 5k . 

If you find exercise difficult at first, you might consider something you can do at home, such as yoga. Studies show that yoga has been effective in treating symptoms of mental health conditions like  anxiety and depression . Stretching also  benefits your muscles  and can make you feel more “fit” when you move on to more strenuous exercises. 

3. Practice mindfulness

Being present and attuned to your thoughts, feelings, and surroundings is a healthy habit that may significantly improve your well-being. Mindfulness can help you slow down and focus, and there is evidence that it can promote feelings of  contentment and peace . 

Recent research has shown a correlation between mindfulness meditation and  feelings of self-compassion . Other studies indicate that mindfulness meditation may also increase the  hippocampus size , the area of your brain that controls learning and memory. 

Mindfulness may help you learn to gain more control over your thoughts. You may learn how to stay in the moment when you practice meditation. During meditation, if you have negative thoughts about your life enter your mind, allow them to pass through without judgment.

4. Get enough rest

Not getting enough sleep at night can impact your energy levels, mental and emotional health, and other aspects of your life. Lack of sleep  has been linked  to the following:

• Memory issues
• Mood changes
• Trouble concentrating
• Increased risk of accidents
• Weakened immune system
• High blood pressure
• Risk of diabetes
• Weight gain
• Low sex drive
• Risk of heart disease
• Poor balance

Try to stick to a sleep schedule by keeping your bedtime and wake time consistent. A night routine can also help you wind down and get better sleep. This routine could include reading, tending to personal hygiene, journaling, stretching, or meditating. It can also help you to stay away from your phone for an hour before bedtime.

5. Organize your time wisely

Do you feel like you’re frequently playing catch-up or having trouble maximizing the time you have? Creating and sticking to a schedule may help you avoid wasting time and ensure you’re prioritizing tasks efficiently. 

Consider utilizing techniques such as time-blocking, which is allocating specific tasks to certain blocks of time throughout the day. It can also help to keep a planner (physical or digital) with you so that you can jot down appointments and important dates as they arise.

6. Foster healthy relationships

Your relationships with friends or family may significantly impact your quality of life. Studies show that social connection is beneficial to your mental and physical health.  If you are struggling in your relationships, you may be able to improve your quality of life by working on strengthening them. 

One way to foster healthy relationships is through couples or family therapy. You may also improve relationships by dedicating more time to those you love during your free time.  

Consider being purposeful about who you spend your time with. If you spend a lot of time with negative people, it may impact the way you view the things around you. In this case, it could be helpful to make new friendships and connections with people with a more positive perspective.

7. Consider using alcohol less

Recent studies have shown that people might experience an increase in their quality of life by giving up drinking. Alcohol can cause depressive symptoms in some individuals, so if you relate, you may benefit from cutting it out. You can try a few weeks without alcohol to see if it has an impact on your health and wellbeing. 

You may also benefit from speaking to a substance use counselor if you find that your usage of certain substances feels out of control or negatively impacts your life. 

8. Focus on building a self-care routine

If you find you’re exhausted or experiencing  mental burnout , it could be that you need to focus on your self-care habits. Learning how to take care of yourself can help you change unhealthy habits. Self-care may include ensuring you’re eating healthy, resting, and exercising. It can also involve tasks like  journaling , meditation, going for walks, or having coffee with a friend each week.

Self-care may be focused on partaking in behaviors that help keep you rejuvenated. Make time for these types of activities. If you find that you’re always putting the needs of others before your own, you may feel like your quality of life is suffering. Look for ways to balance helping others while not sacrificing your health.

You may need to experiment with activities until you find the ones that help you to recharge and take care of your physical, mental, and emotional needs.

Talk to a therapist

Your quality of life could be negatively impacted by mental health challenges such as depression, anxiety, or trauma. Additionally, you may struggle to achieve making healthy decisions in your life or relationships or have previously experienced hurt. In these cases, it can be helpful to talk to a therapist to get support in setting and accomplishing long-term goals in behavior change. 

Therapy can help you learn research-based strategies and tips that you can apply to improve the quality of your life. You may focus on life satisfaction by working through past hurt and trauma, developing healthy self-esteem, or learning tips to help with anxiety levels. Many individuals in modern society opt for online therapy, which can be done from home. 

Research shows that online therapy is often  more effective  than traditional in-person counseling. Additionally, certain studies have pointed to  online mindfulness-based cognitive-behavioral therapy  (CBT) as effective in treating conditions such as anxiety or depression. A licensed therapist through a platform like  BetterHelp  may be able to help you plan your next steps toward a healthier and happier lifestyle. 

Changing your habits can feel overwhelming at times. However, if you take healthy lifestyle changes one at a time and focus your energy on short steps first, you may be able to stay on course and shift your habits over time. If you’d like professional support while you go through the process of lifestyle change, consider reaching out to a mental health counselor. 

What lifestyle changes can I make?

Making lifestyle changes is often most successful when you are implementing small goals that you can attain over a long period of time rather than attempting a fad diet or exercise trend; these trends tend to lead to short-lived “health kicks” rather than real change. 

Here are some changes you might implement for success in improving your overall health.

• Maintaining a regular sleep schedule and good sleep hygiene for more restful sleep.
• Keeping a balanced diet and controlling portion sizes. Continue eating the things you enjoy in moderation, opting for healthy, filling, and nutritious options when possible.
• Engaging in regular physical activity. This can be set exercises or gym routines, but it can also be a sport, dance class, or other activity that is both fun and gets you moving for around 30 minutes per day.

What are ways to change that lifestyle?

Most people find success in changing their lifestyle comes from the slow implementation of healthy new habits into their daily routine while they move away from or replace unhealthy habits. This gradual change over time can help the newer habits stick and the older habits fade more completely than trying to change quickly. 

How do you change an unhealthy lifestyle?

Being able to identify unhealthy habits is usually the first step to changing them. Research suggests taking the following steps to change your lifestyle.

• Consider what habits or routines are impacting your health.
• Work with a professional and someone in your support network (like a family or close friend) to come up with a plan for implementing changes.
• Implement those changes slowly over time. 
• Record your progress to celebrate successes and progress at all stages.
• Seek support to turn these changes into a new routine. 

What are positive lifestyle changes?

Most positive lifestyle changes involve physical health maintenance, stress management, and emotional and mental growth. This includes things like keeping a healthy diet and exercise routine, journaling and other mindfulness practices, reading and taking classes to expand skills, taking up a new hobby, or seeing a therapist or other mental health professional.

Why are lifestyle changes important?

Lifestyle changes can be used to treat a variety of physical and mental health conditions and improve a person’s quality of life dramatically. The overall goal and measure of success when making a lifestyle change is to make a person’s life better on a physical, mental, and/or emotional level in a way that will carry on throughout their lifetime rather than being only a short-term improvement.

How do you change your lifestyle (essay form)?

Finding success in changing your lifestyle is a complicated process that requires a person to have both the resolve to change and the support to do so, from their personal support network of family and friends as well as their professional support network of physical and mental health providers. Changing your lifestyle might include identifying unhealthy behaviors, finding constructive resolutions for these behaviors, incorporating these resolutions into your life over time, and recording your progress. 

What are the 8 lifestyle changes?

• Creating a regular exercise routine
• Standing more often than sitting
• Limiting the amount of sugar you eat
• Adding more fruits and vegetables to your diet
• Drinking more water
• Getting more sleep
• Limiting screentime
• Socializing more often or engaging in a new hobby

What are personal lifestyle choices?

Personal lifestyle choices are the choices made to affect a person’s own life that they take on after considering the factors that are most important to them, including socioeconomic status, general physical and mental health, and any special needs they may have from conditions or circumstances.

What makes a healthy lifestyle?

A healthy lifestyle consists of well-maintained nutrition and physical health as well as adequate attention paid to mental and emotional health, for yourself and your family. This includes keeping healthy boundaries and schedules as well as engaging in the things you enjoy regularly. Healthy lifestyles will look different for everyone depending on their individual needs. 

How can I change my lifestyle and eating habits?

You can find success in changing your lifestyle and eating habits by making small changes over time and being gentle with yourself as you make progress. For example, rather than trying to cut out all sugars immediately, you might limit the amount of sugar you eat, taking smaller portions of things like desserts and sugary drinks rather than trying to quit them “cold turkey.” This gives you room to make mistakes and accept them with grace, taking the pressure of change off and giving you achievable goals to strive for. 

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Essays About Change: Top 5 Examples and 10 Prompts

If you are writing essays about change, see below our best essay examples and writing prompts to help expand your horizon on this topic.

The only thing constant is change. It could be good or bad. It could be short-term or have a lasting impact. The best we can do is to ride on this inevitable and never-ending cycle of change and try coming out of it still standing, thriving, and smiling. This ability to cope with change is called resilience. 

However, some changes – such as the loss of a loved one or a livelihood — are too overwhelming to deal with that some fall into trauma and depression, in which case psychological support is highly encouraged. Read on to see our round-up of rich, well-written essays about change, and a list of helpful prompts follows to help you start your essay. 

1. “The Psychology Of Dealing With Change: How To Become Resilient” by Kathleen Smith

2. how prison changes people by christian jarrett, 3. six ways the workplace will change in the next 10 years by jordan turner, 4. “social movements for good: what they are and how to lead them” by derrick feldman, 5. “the right way to make a big career transition” by utkarsh amitabh, 1. changing your lifestyle for the better, 2. be the change the world needs, 3. adapting to life-changing events, 4. addressing climate change, 5. how did technology change our daily lives, 6. people who changed the world, 7. if you could change the world, 8. dealing with resistance to change, 9. coming-of-age novels, 10. changing your eating habits.

“If you can learn to cope with change, you’ll lower your risk for anxiety and depression. Your relationships will flourish, and your body will feel healthier. But if you can’t cope with change, only a minor amount of stress can make you feel overwhelmed by life. You might also struggle to set and meet the goals you have for yourself.”

Instead of fixating on events and people over which we do not have the power to control, we should focus on ourselves and how we can embrace change without fear. Some tips in this essay include practicing self-care, being in the present, and focusing on your priorities, such as health and well-being. 

Check out these essays about being grateful and essays about heroes .

“Ultimately, society may be confronted with a choice. We can punish offenders more severely and risk changing them for the worse, or we can design sentencing rules and prisons in a way that helps offenders rehabilitate and change for the better.”

In an environment where you are forced to follow the rules to the letter and worry about your safety and privacy daily, prisoners could develop a kind of “perpetual paranoia” or “emotional numbing” and deteriorate cognitive abilities. The essay suggests a rethink in how we deal with law-breakers to encourage reform rather than punish and risk repeat offenses.

Check out these essays about police brutality and essays about assessment .

“As technology closes the divide between geographically separate people, it introduces cracks in relationships and cultures. The remote distribution of work means that many employees will not build the same social relationships in the workplace, leading to issues of disengagement and loneliness.”

The COVID-19 pandemic has already disrupted our way of work in our new normal, but more changes are yet to unfold. This essay looks into the future of work where responsibilities and demands will see a sea change; machines will be co-workers; and the best employee is defined by digital skills, not years of experience.

You might also like these essays about cinema and essays about jealousy .

“Social movements for good establish a mass platform of action for a population, which helps inform and cultivate the awareness necessary to help prevent an issue from affecting more people. True social movements for good have the power to generate awareness that produces tangible results, helping the general population live longer, more productive, happier lives.”

A social movement for good aims to bring social justice to an aggrieved community by calling for tangible support and resources. To accelerate a movement’s momentum, an effective leader must possess certain qualities in this essay.

“There were so many questions running through my head during this time. Why should I quit to make this my full-time job? Is this what I really want? When should I quit? Poet Mary Oliver’s words kept ringing in my head: ‘What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?’”

Deciding on a career change is more complex than deciding whether you want to do something different. A career shift entails lifestyle, mindset, and motivation changes, each of which has to be carefully reassessed and prepared for. This essay guides you in deciding when or why it is right to leave your job.

10 Interesting Writing Prompts on Essays About Change

Below are thought-stimulating prompts to help with your essay: 

Committing to regular exercise or getting to bed earlier may be easier said than done. Moreover, the determination that was burning at the start of your lifestyle change journey may wane in the latter part when things get tough. So, for your essay, provide practical tips from wellness experts and your own experience on how to sustain a routine toward a better lifestyle. You can split your essay into sections for each health and wellness tip you recommend.

This is the gist of the famous quote by Mahatma Gandhi: “be the change you wish to see in the world.” Unfortunately, many of us get frustrated over people refusing to change but fail to see how this change should start with our perception and action. In this essay, write about what an individual can do to focus more on self-improvement and development. 

Have you ever faced a situation where you had to adapt to a drastic change? It could be moving to a different city or school or dealing with losing a loved one. Share your experience and list the traits and practices that helped you through this challenging phase. You may also research what psychologists recommend people to do to keep from falling into depression or developing anxiety. 

To offer a unique highlight in your essay, tackle what your school or community is doing to fight global warming. Interview city councilors and mayors and learn about ongoing initiatives to keep the city clean and green. So this essay could help entice others in your community to work together and volunteer in initiatives to slow climate change.

List down the advantages and disadvantages technology has presented in your life. For example, seeking clarification from teachers about an assignment has been made easier with the many communication channels available. However, technology has also enabled a work-at-home or distance learning arrangement that is causing burnout in many households. 

Feature a person who has revolutionized the world. It could be a scientist, artist, activist, writer, economist, athlete, etc. Preferably, it is someone you idolize, so you do not have to start from scratch in your research. So first, provide a short profile of this person to show his life and career background. Then, write about their ultimate contribution to society and how this continues to benefit or inspire many. 

If there’s one thing you could change in this world, what would it be? This sounds like a question you’d hear in pageants, but it could be a creative way to lay down your life advocacy. So, explain why this is where you want to see change and how this change can improve others’ lives.

Resistance to change is most common when companies modernize, and the dinosaurs in the office refuse to learn new digital platforms or systems. Write about what you think leaders and human resource units should do to help employees cope with changes in the new normal.

A coming-of-age novel tells stories of protagonists who grow up and undergo character transformation. From being eaten up by their fears, the main heroes become braver and better at confronting a world that once intimidated them. For this prompt, share your favorite coming-of-age novel and narrate the changes in the hero’s qualities and beliefs. 

Delivering fast food has become so easy that, for many, it has become a way of life, making it an enormous challenge to replace this practice with healthy eating habits. So, research and write about nutritionists’ tips on creating a lifestyle and environment conducive to healthy eating habits.

If you’re still stuck picking an essay topic, check out our guide on how to write essays about depression . For more ideas, you can check out our general resource of essay writing topics .

Yna Lim is a communications specialist currently focused on policy advocacy. In her eight years of writing, she has been exposed to a variety of topics, including cryptocurrency, web hosting, agriculture, marketing, intellectual property, data privacy and international trade. A former journalist in one of the top business papers in the Philippines, Yna is currently pursuing her master's degree in economics and business.

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Short Essay on The Day I Decided to Change My Life

Most people reach a point in their lives where they decide to quit living life like a Frisbee. For me, it seemed like forever. If this were a “Pirates of the Caribbean” classic, my take-home advice would be an endearing Jack Sparrow’s quote, “The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. Do you understand?”  — and I’ll tell you why.

My Grandfather’s tragic death had left an indelible mark on my life. At 14, I had to brave the pounding waves of the unknown, like a sailor without a compass. Grandpa, or Pa Daa-Daa-Jee as I fondly called him, was the closest thing I had to a family member, the one in whom I confided and sought strength.

His wisdom was so profound that you couldn’t help but be in awe of him. I’d learnt so much from him that writing a 500-word essay on my discoveries would be microscopic; yet, he had more to teach. He had seen it all, so of course, he had a lot to say.

While reclining on his lawn chair beneath the mango tree, pipe in hand, Pa would tell me about his great exploits in the British Indian Army. His eyes always twinkled with delight as his voice echoed his stories. Sitting next to him, I’d occasionally shift my gaze to the nearby bonfire, which seemed to nod in agreement to his tales.

As with any other Grandparents, there were a few things Pa expected his granddaughter to do. You were supposed to go to school, play with other children, and smile at others. “Smile,” he said, “It will make you feel better about yourself.” Yes, I did smile — on the outside, at least. On the inside, I would retreat, my face flushed with embarrassment. That was my early life.

As I grew up nervous and shy around people, Grandpa’s demise became pivotal in creating a vocal, free-spirited, and innovative lady. It didn’t happen overnight. Despite relocating to New York on my American-based parents’ orders a year later, I felt dispirited as I had lost touch with my memory of him in Mumbai.

To avoid embarrassment, I would often repeat myself, which dented most of my relationships. This struggle would make me quiet or defiant in school — something I resolved to overcome in my early twenties. I was sick of being called a “Bombay freak.” I wanted to be seen and heard, but that wouldn’t happen if I continued down this unforgiving course. And then the day came.

One faithful morning, shortly after I had returned from a suspension, I was discussing the impact of conflict resolution on my life with my high school instructor when the conversation began to seep into my consciousness. A deep-seated hunger, coupled with my innate curiosity, compelled me to think differently.

I recognised anger as my go-to strategy for resolving disputes, which kept others at bay. The classroom became my battleground, and everyone, my enemy. I was still hurting from Pa’s death; it reflected in my actions. I craved to remain his little girl, never growing up because of my inability to handle issues affably.

As Mrs Eileen Evans continued, I realized what Pa Daa-Daa-Jee meant about smiling, a formidable trait that fosters long-lasting relationships. While alive, his words enthralled me; yet, I struggled to comprehend them. Now they shone like a beacon in the dark. At that point, I made a U-turn. Today, I can honestly say that I’m living my best life. Anytime I’m in a rough patch, I ask myself, “What would Pa do?”

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How I Changed My Life for the Better

If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading. – Lao Tzu

A few years ago, I reached a point where I realized I was yearning for something more. A change, a renewal, a shift from the humdrum of my then-current existence. And so, I made a conscious decision to change my life for the better.

I’ve always believed that by sharing our stories, we can inspire and empower others to take control of their lives. And that’s precisely why I’ve decided to document and share the details of how I changed my life. My hope is that it can inspire you, offering insights into personal transformation , and providing a testament to the fact that change, though challenging, is deeply rewarding and entirely possible for anyone willing to embark on the journey.

Why I Wanted to Change My Life

There were numerous reasons why I wanted to make some life alterations, but the main ones were:

1. I knew I was capable of so much more. I wanted to make an effort to exploit my full potential and accomplish more and I was not doing that.

2. I was not in the best of health. I was too sedentary, out of shape, had visceral body fat around my waist, kept late hours, and was a slave to alcohol .

3. My overall lifestyle habits were not conducive to a healthy and productive life.

4. I wanted to be more mindful and happy and worry less.

Basically, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. That was my motivation.

How I Changed My Life

I conducted a lot of research online and read many books on happiness, health, success, productivity, and overall wellness. After devouring a wealth of information from famous self-help experts and some not-so-famous ones, I recognized a commonality between all of them as they pretty much were all advocating similar strategies.

I carefully and discriminately decided on the changes I would make in my life. I purposely chose changes that were practical, effective, and achievable for me. I wanted lasting changes and not temporary ones that were based on euphoria. For certain aspects, I made complete 180-degree changes while for others I made small behavioral changes. I did this because certain changes were harder for me to make than others.

I came up with a list of 31 specific habits that I wanted to change. Here is what I did:

1. I decided to cultivate daily habits and a routine I would follow diligently. I did not have to wake up in the morning and figure out what I needed to do because I had a routine that I adhered to. It eradicated the guesswork.

2. I set clear goals that I wanted to achieve. I wrote these down so that there was no ambiguity. These goals were specific and clearly stated so that it was obvious when I achieved them (or didn’t). Because there was no vagueness, I knew when I fell short.

3. Based on the advice of others, I made sure the goals I set were quantifiable and measurable. For example, rather than saying I would exercise often (what does often mean?), I said that I would exercise 4 times per week for 1 hour each time. Because my goals were so specific, I was able to review my progress (or lack of) easily. And I did a review every week.

4. Not only did I develop a daily routine, I also decided to plan my days and week in advance. Rather than leave things to chance or to what I felt like doing at the moment, I planned each day and week by listing specific things that I wanted to accomplish. For example, I decided to do my grocery shopping on a Monday afternoon when the store was less crowded and numerous items went on sale.

5. I learned to meditate and incorporated that into my daily routine. This one change has made a huge impact on my life. I now meditate every morning after I wake up. It has taught me so much about myself, helped me concentrate more, and become more mindful. It also has made me realize that my thoughts can be extremely rambunctious and that I do not always have to attach myself to them.

6. I decided to join my local gym and exercise 5 days a week. I do this in the mornings before I start work. I lift weights and then do a 20-minute cardio workout. My gym also offers classes (free with the gym membership) such as yoga which I sometimes join.

7. Another change I decided to make was to get rid of or distance myself from friends whom I considered to be toxic or bad examples. I knew that I wanted friends who had a positive influence on me.

8. Related to number 7, I started making new friends with people I considered to be positive influences. I also spent more time with existing friends who shared my goals to be a better person .

9. I made a commitment to pay closer attention to my nutrition and eat healthier food. I cut out junk food, sodas, excessive fat, and processed foods. I actually started paying attention to nutritional labels.

10. I also decided to cook more food at home rather than eating out. I love to cook so this change was not as difficult for me as for some. I now control what I cook and how much fat is added to my food. And I have been saving a ton of money by eating out less. And when I do eat out, I try to order healthier items on the menu.

11. Another change I chose to make pertains to reading. I decided to read more books. I used to read a lot when I was younger but, somehow, fell out of the habit. I now download great books on my Kindle app and read them before bed at night on my iPad or phone.

12. I have curtailed my TV viewing and now watch much less television compared to before. I have used this time to read more.

13. When I do watch TV now, I refrain from watching negative and frivolous programming. I used to watch reality shows and loved watching crime shows like Unusual Suspects but found them to have no real merit or educational value. Some of the programs that I used to watch would actually have a negative impact on me and subliminally get me depressed. My remote control is now used a lot more discriminately to find shows that are uplifting and educational. I love channels like National Geographic, Discovery, and PBS.

14. I cannot believe how much time I wasted in the past surfing the internet and visiting websites that posted junk. Today, I am more aware of the choices I make with my mouse and I avoid websites that predominantly post violent, discriminatory, sexual, and useless information.

15. After reading about the virtues of being grateful, I now list 5 things every night that I am grateful for before I fall asleep. It could be simple things like enjoying a nice meal or spending quality time with a loved one. This has made me appreciate my blessings so much more and made me more thankful .

16. A major change I have made in my life is to drastically cut back on the amount of alcohol I consume. I still drink wine in moderation but I do not indulge in vodka and binge drinking like I did before.

17. In the past, I managed to convince myself that I was a night owl and definitely not a morning person. During the week, I now climb into bed by 10 pm and wake up earlier than before. It took a while for me to adjust my sleep habits and I now realize that it is possible to follow the adage early to bed, early to rise. I feel so much more rested these days.

18. Another major change I have made in my life is being more careful with my money. I now am a lot more discriminate when it comes to buying stuff and I have learned to source out great bargains. I save a lot more than I did before.

19. In addition to saving more money, I also invest my money now. I have become a silent partner in a business and have also invested in my own business.

20. Rather than spend money buying frivolous stuff that I do not need, I now spend money on memorable experiences that I know I will cherish. Whether it is going to visit my mother who lives overseas or going kayaking, I now spend my money on great experiences that teach me a lot and afford me a lot of fun.

21. I have decided to stay in closer contact with family and friends whom I care about deeply. I used to be more self-centered and neglected to stay in touch with my loved ones. I now take the time to call my Mom more often, write more personal e-mails and letters, and simply be a better friend and family member. This has brought me so much closer to those I cherish.

22. One thing that I have changed and do much better now is managing my time. I did not realize how much I was wasting in a typical day on frivolous things, be it daydreaming, spending time in a bar, watching boring TV commercials, trolling the internet for useless gossip, etc. I now am more aware of how I spend the most precious commodity all of us have been given, time.

23. Forgiveness is a big one for me. I can honestly say that I used to be bad at forgiving others and myself. I was equally hard on others whom I perceived had wronged me, as well as on myself for all my past mistakes . I spent a lot of time learning to forgive myself and others and this has freed me from so much anger and resentment.

24. In addition to meditation, I have learned to incorporate visualization/guided imagery into my daily routine. Every morning before I meditate, I visualize and picture outcomes and goals that I desire. I do not just visualize it; I actually try to feel the feeling of actually accomplishing the outcome. I have found this to be extremely powerful.

25. I have to admit that I used to be a coward when it came to visiting the doctor or dentist. For years, I avoided them like the plague. However, I now have chosen to view going to the doctor and dentist frequently in a more positive light. I schedule visits regularly and my fear has been greatly reduced. I focus on the fact that prevention is better than cure.

26. In the past, I have been guilty of spending too much time at bars and clubs. I now have cut back on those activities significantly and substituted them with more wholesome activities. I am now more likely to go hiking, visit a state park, take up photography, bird watching, go to the beach, join a yoga class, etc.

27. I learned not to try and seek the approval of others as I often did before. This was a big change for me because I definitely tried too hard to please others, even if it meant sacrificing my authenticity. I would get upset if I incurred the disapproval of others. Instead, I now use my conscience as my guide and, while I try to be sensitive to how others feel, I do not allow it to run my life. I know that I cannot please everyone.

28. Another major change I have made in my life is making time to learn new skills and increase my knowledge. I am more likely to enroll in a photography class now, watch a TED talk , or choose a great documentary on Netflix to watch as compared to before. I read books on meditation, exercise, nutrition, etc.

29. If there was an award for procrastination, I think I would have been in the running in the past. I would procrastinate a lot, especially if the task at hand scared me or seemed daunting. I have greatly improved this tendency and now jump into things without letting fear get the better of me. I have learned that the small act of starting a task makes all the difference because it builds momentum and confidence and motivates me to continue.

30. One thing that I do much more now as compared to before is challenging myself to do things that I consider difficult. In the past, I would shy away from difficult endeavors because I was scared and did not believe in myself sufficiently. I realize now that many of these fears were unwarranted. I also know now that challenging yourself is the only way to grow and improve. I now view the discomfort in a different light. If I am uncomfortable doing something, there is a good chance it’s because I am taking myself out of my comfort zone and learning something new.

31. Last and not least, I do my best to love myself now. I do not take myself as seriously and try to practice unconditional self-love. I make a conscious effort to practice simple but positive affirmations throughout the day that emphasize self-love and worth.

What Happened When I Changed

I have incorporated these changes gradually over time and have found that each of them supports the other. I’d like to make it clear that in no way am I successful 100% of the time. I am far from perfect and still have many faults. In fact, I fail often. However, two things have happened:

1. I fail less often than I did before, probably because, like anything else, things get easier the more you practice. And

2. When I do fail, I do not let it discourage me like it would have before. I simply learn from my mistakes, make changes and move on.

I can sincerely say that these changes have made me a happier, more successful, and more equanimous person. I could not have even imagined the life I have right now, and I am still learning every day.  If I can do it, I know you can, too. I write about these and other experiences regularly because I want to share my experiences and help others.

I believe in you. What changes are you going to make in your life?

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About The Author

David Naidu

Related posts, changing your life: an introduction, how becoming a dad changed my life, follow us on instagram, possibilitychange.

48 thoughts on “How I Changed My Life for the Better”

David, you are certainly very inspirational and motivational. I have incorporated a lot of the same practices and habits that you spoke of including meditation, exercise, wholesome activities, and cooking. My life has changed a lot in the last couple of years, and it sounds like it has for you also!

Thank you very much, Norman. I appreciate your kind words. I am very glad that you are on this journey with me!

Hello David I am 21 and I’ve read this so many times. It motivates me to start changing my life starting today. I’ve been searching a lot because I decided to change a lot of things about my life. Thank you a lot. Have a good day.

Hi nice to meet you. My name is Danny. I am in a very low place at the moment in my life, at 26 years. I work for snows Toyota as a sales executive, but this is not what I want to do. I do not know what I want to do, but I know I feel I can achieve so much more, I am fed up of worrying all the time especially about money problems. I feel lost and need some guidance. I have a partner, of 8 months we love together, and it’s going well, I am also worried that changing my direction in life will also alter our relationship too which I don’t want to happen. Can you help me?

David, thanks for sharing such a valuable points about life, how to live life. I appreciate your work and thinking about life counseling. Thanks!

Dania, thank you very much for the kind words! I really appreciate your comments. I hope you also enjoyed reading my blog.

I could relate to so many of the ways in which I need to change my life. I don’t feel I have the discipline, though. How did you find the motivation and discipline to make so many changes? Did you have a system? Did you work on one thing at a time? Thanks for your input.

Thank you for your comments, Vicki. I guess I got sick and tired of being sick and tired and that was my primary motivation. I realized that nobody could make these changes for me so I had to do it myself. I worked on many things at a time and slowly introduced other changes. Discipline is nothing other than the ability to forgo instant gratification, and that is something I always try to remember. If you are interested, you can read more on my blog, http://www.skilledatlife.com . Thanks, again, for your input!

Thank you, David. I am very interested in your blog. I’ve been on a journey of simplifying my life, and I’m also wanting to better my life in many of the ways that you mentioned in this post. I actually printed out your post to read again; I plan to make notes on it and mark things to do and ideas I have for implementing some of these things in my own life as I read. Thanks again for the inspiration.

Hi David. What a pleasure to read your journey towards changing your life. You were brave to commit to 31 goals! I am definitely impressed and inspired. Thank you.

Oh you just inspired someone from a very far country – Uganda. I have promised my self to reread this post this week. Thank you so much David.

Beatrice, thank you so much! I am glad I managed to help. Uganada is a place I would love to visit.

Hi Interesting reading. Please could you tell me which books you have read that have had the biggest impact on you with regards your overall improvement?

Thank you, Luke. I have read so many, including The Road Less Traveled, The Power of Now, Quantum Wellness, as well as books by Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, Mariannae Williamson, etc. Each of them taught me something different and valuable. And I still am discovering new authors and books.

Congratulations David. You have cracked the code! For anyone not happy with how they are being in their life, this is the post to read.It really is this basic. So often we read or hear that we should just start with 1 small change. I’m not so sure that is the way. If one really wants to be happy and successful being who they are, I think a wholesale shift like you made may just be the best path to take. Thanks for sharing David

Thank you very much, Eve! I agree that it is possible to make multiple changes at the same time, especially if they reinforce one another. It seems to have worked for me.

I needed to hear this today. Im in a pretty low place. Thank you

Shelby, I am sorry to hear that you are in a low place. Please know that you deserve to be happy and that you have it in you to make whatever changes you desire. I believe in you.

I truly surprised after reading this article. Especially point 27, which I was searching for a solution. Thanks for sharing your thoughts David. Excellent understanding about life.

Thank you, Roshna, for your comments. Hope I was able to help in some way.

Such a wonderful article. You articulated extremely well on the various points I have started implementing in my life. It is so true that if we desire, we can bring monumental changes to our lives.

Do you have any thoughts on how one can help others in one’s dysfunctional, toxic families to incorporate these practices? For me it is a constant struggle when my own near and dear ones try to drag me and themselves down. I truly feel sorry for them and wish I could do something but the great thing about bringing this shift in my life has been it does not shake my core anymore. As you said, things will never be perfect, but every step leads the way. You have got to start somewhere.

By the way, Wayne Dyer is awesome and his teachings and insights are very inspiring and can transform a person. Kudos for an inspiring article.

Thank you, Patty, for the kind words. I think you are handling the dysfunctional family issue wisely. I have had some experience with this, too. I simply am not affected much by it anymore because I have learned the concept of equanimity and know what makes me happy. The best thing you can do is to lead by example and, hopefully, others will be inspired and follow suit. You are far more powerful and influential when you are calm and wise, I feel. Try to patiently teach them the truths that you have learned. If they are not ready, know that you have done your best. I commend you for your wisdom!

Hi David. I wanted to tell you how I will try and use your blog for my motivation to change. It’s 2am and I am surfing the internet, I type in “change my life”. As wonderful as google is, it can waste my whole night by sending me off on tan-guns. As I am scrolling the list, I see “sick and tired of being sick and tired.” My heart skips! I have said these very words thousands of times! I read your story and your list. Again, I choke up. So many similarities! One huge differenc; you followed thru and succeeded.

I too, have read many self help books, many spiritual guides and I too have seen the commons in them. I still feel over whelmed and I still feel the emptiness and despair the fear brings. Thank you for posting your journey. Thank you for remembering the feelings of wanting to just be you and grateful for that.

I just turned 48 a few days ago and although, I have few regrets, I am filled with anger and resentment. I long to be softer,more loving, gentler and loved not feared. Most of all, I do not want to pass on these feelings of inadequacy and the constant fear of not measuring up, to my children. I see it, like a cancer, growing in them and I love them so much, I want them happy. I hope this time I will succeed. I will print your list and return to your blog for guidance. We are each others angels you know and god speaks to us thru each other. Thank you.

Hi David Its so nice to read your blog. I feet its the best inspiration that I need right now. I want to change my life for my love one. Thank you.

Hi David and commenters, So much in common, and typed in ‘I want to change my life’ also, after years of always trying to please others, whether its family, friends or work colleagues, always the same result, just used and abused, and always feeling guilty for others paths in life. Apparently its allowable if you say ‘you always hurt the one you love the most’ yeah right! Everything you have said is what I want to do, it all makes sense because its not sales or what I want to hear, you have to have actually been through it all – well I hope so please, I have such low trust issues with people who continually lie and manage their own personal agendas at the expense of every one else. I can’t even trust what I have in common with anyone left in this world of hate. Anyway thanks for not feeling so alone, and finally having something I can believe in and people I can understand. Kind regards Donna

Thanks for sharing hope😊

really i need a total change in my life, thank you for your article was inspiring

Thank you so much for writing this blog. I need to make changes now as i want to live a better and happier life. I shall be putting your advise to work immediately

thanking you

Hi, David. I’m so happy to know that I’m not the only one who want more sustainable life, for the better. For loved one, for family and a few good friends. Reading your blog is seem like looking at the mirror. I was also dealing with alcohol consumption few years ago. Smoker & addicted to drugs too… I have a kids, a daughter and son. I imagine how life would be if I don’t stop from such a negative habits. And it’s,for sure, really frightening me. The point where you said ‘people with bad influence’ is the bottom line. Just like me. I have to keep stay away from negative people around me, but I accepted what they are. We can’t deny that positive and negative is part of our lives. Acceptance is key. Warm regards, Mirantie

Thank you for sharing this!

Thank you for sharing. Through the past couple of years I’ve made some great changes in my life. To leave my past behind in order to grow, to not make the same mistakes. Although, I’ve learned that my mistakes will never go away. They will always be by my side; as a constant reminder of how selfish I was. To be lonely, self defeating, desperate and depressed was no way I wanted to continue through life. So I climbed my way out, met the woman of my dreams. Watched my diet, drastically lessened my alcohol and pot use. Did everything I set out to do. Unfortunately a bit of my past came back to haunt me, and not only me but my partner also. I realized because I was not admitting and forgiving of myself but only burying the truth; I was avoiding the truth of a person I was, someone that i could be, someone I couldn’t respect. I see it in my partner’s eyes now. A look of discontent. So I’ve learned a great lesson in honesty and the past. You can never change the past, if you bury it, it will always haunt you, be a part of you. I would now rather admit my faults, shed my skin and be ashamed than to bury them and never change. Thank you again for your words of encouragement, the journey continues

This speaks to me on a deep level! I relate to almost every single point. Thank you for sharing this, it really inspires me.

I am at the very beginning stage but can relate to all you aspects prior to change. I am going to start by making a list that is achievable and build upon it. I am beginning today. Thank you so much for sharing. It has definitely inspired me. Best, Barbara

I felt positive in my head after reading this. Will incorporate a few changes right away and gradually get the focus back. Have felt wasted for quite some time now.

Hello David I thank you! Your article came at a very important time in my life where I am going through some major difficulties where i have even cried asking for change in my life. A sequence of evens have brought me to the conclusion that its time and I cant ignore it or go on like this. Want to change old habbits and see and feel the light of happiness. I know it will be hard but i cant go on ignoring the beauty’ s of life. Ed

Thank you David. You have inspired me.

David when I read your blog I almost burst out in tears because 90% of what you say about yourself applies to me as well. It’s as though you have lived my life. That’s mind blowing. Thank you for being brave enough to write about your journey. You have inspired me to never give up. I woke up crying this morning because I feel suffocated by how my life has turned out because I know I’m worth a lot more than the woman I turned out to be. I want to give my family a better life without wallowing in self-pity. I know I can do it thanks to you. Keep motivating those who are on the journey of self discovery. Knowing one self can be a major challenge but I now know it’s possible.

Thank you for writing about how you changed your life. I am in desperate need of change in my life right now. I have been feeling so sad, frustrated and just stuck in general. You’ve given me some ideas to start changing my life into something that I love rather than hate.

David. I am so excited to begin this journey. This last four years have been the most difficult and completely challenging for me. I have experienced so much heart ache and failures. You have saod everything i needed and wanted to hear. Thank you.

Thank you so much for this inspirational article! I now and then try to step on the way of changes, but the effect is usually not lasting. I knew in theory what was good and what was bad, but couldn’t always stay on the good side, i had some ups but there were too many downs on my way. As I understand it now it was because i had a chaos in my head. After reading your insights i gained a complete understanding, now I have a clear action plan, i know exactly what i shall do. I have never been so sure that this time i will not give up. Thank u! :)

Thank you so much David,in an often chaotic world,these words of wisdom truly resonate with me…. Peace and love my brother as we share the journey

Hey! This was really inspiring. I loved reading all of this. I am getting to that point when I am feeling that it the moment to change. Thank you so much for writing this and sharing your experience with us.

David, where are you now in your life? Are you still following these principles today and are you happier for it?

I really have been in a mess. Diabetic over weight and confused as to where I stood in terms of who I really wanted to be. Today I woke for the first time in a long time knowing if there is no change, I will not grow as a person. So glad I came across this forum to discuss the next step to a healthier much more happy future.

I found this article when at a crossroads in life and not knowing what to do next. You have inspired me. Thank you, Jane

Wow, David, you are a guy after my own heart. Habits are absolutely everything, but to create 31 new ones is absolutely sensational!

Planning in advance and having a morning routine is so important. If you just get up with no idea what you are doing, the day will run you rather than you running the day (especially if the first thing you do is check your phone!).

Serious props for having the will to change and going about it in such spectacular fashion!

Kind regards,

This is really inspiring

Thank you for spending your time writing this. I want to change too. What you said feels related to me as well. How I procrastinate to change and bad habits are hard to break. If things didn’t go well, I went to sulking mode for a long time. I should learn to forgive myself and keep going even if I mess up, don’t give up. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for the motivation.

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Changes in Life: Positive and Negative Effects Essay

One of the invariable realities in life is that we are every in a state of change. These changes may be positive or negative but regardless of their nature, they are a fundamental part of our lives and it is important that we brace ourselves for them. In my life, I have had many changes; some of which have been inconsequential and other which have literally marked a turning point in my life.

In this paper, I shall narrate one of the significant changes in my life so as to highlight the fact that our perception of the change does at times determine whether the experience will be enjoyable or shall yield to discomfort and insecurity.

The particularly significant change in my life came about as a result of the announcement by my parents that we would be moving from Texas to New Mexico. What made this change so significant to me was that we had been living in the same neighborhood for as long as I could remember and the moving process felt like literally been uprooted.

As such, the change represented being taken away from what I was familiar with and loved to being placed in a foreign place which held a lot of uncertainty for me. My initial reaction was that of shock and distress at the prospect of what life in the new place would hold.

While I did enjoy visiting new places, I had never pictured myself moving from my home town on a permanent basis. In a bid to resist the change, I tried to reason my parents out of their decision. This was a futile attempt mostly because I had no solid reasons as to my opposition to our moving.

When it was finally clear to me that we were going to move regardless of my stance, I resigned myself to my fate and I recall wallowing in self pity as I expressed my predicament to my friends. However, one of my friends who happened to have come from New Mexico remarked that the place was actually enjoyable and held many a fascinating scenes for people.

In addition, he commented on the lovely neighborhoods and the tight knit communities that were there. His statements opened my eyes to the possibilities that the change in my life presented. I had been too indulged in the uncertainty and discomfort that would arise from the move that I had failed to consider the numerous possibilities that the change presented.

In my blindness, I had set out to avoid the change and failed to recognize the fascinating new possibilities. From this point on, I took up a more positive outlook and actually looked forward to the move.

On getting to New Mexico, I discovered that while everything was not as picturesque as my friend had suggested, the place was actually enjoyable and the community was not that different from the one in my previous neighborhood.

Due to the fact that I had braced myself for the change, I overlooked the negative aspects of my new home town and as a result of my optimism and high spirits, the change turned out to be one of the most memorable ones in my life.

From my experience, I learned that sometimes the changes in our lives are neutral and it is our perception that makes them either a joy to be looked forward to or a pain to be shunned. I also learnt that our fears of change in most cases spring from unfounded assumptions and our own prejudices.

As such, it is important for us to adopt an open minded and optimistic outlook as we undergo the numerous changes that life presents to us. By doing this, we will be increasing our chances of leading a satisfying and fulfilling life.

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IvyPanda . 2023. "Changes in Life: Positive and Negative Effects." October 31, 2023. https://ivypanda.com/essays/changes-in-life/.

1. IvyPanda . "Changes in Life: Positive and Negative Effects." October 31, 2023. https://ivypanda.com/essays/changes-in-life/.

Bibliography

IvyPanda . "Changes in Life: Positive and Negative Effects." October 31, 2023. https://ivypanda.com/essays/changes-in-life/.

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How to motivate yourself to change

Change is hard, but it’s possible. use motivational interviewing techniques to build your confidence, and take the plunge.

by Angela Wood & Ralph Wood   + BIO

is a clinical social worker and assistant professor at Southeastern Louisiana University. She is the author of The Motivational Interviewing Workbook: Exercises to Decide What You Want and How to Get There (2020).

is a health educator, professor at Southeastern Louisiana University and author of dozens of academic journal articles and book chapters.

Edited by Christian Jarrett

Need to know

Struggling to change in the ways we want to is a common human experience. Many of the practical steps required aren’t easy or fun. This makes motivation a challenge. No matter our excuses – not enough time, not enough energy, not enough money – we often say to ourselves that ‘it’s too hard’, ‘I can’t be bothered’ or ‘I’m just not that motivated.’

How can we find more motivation to make positive changes in our lives? There are so many books out there meant to help you take the necessary steps toward achieving change – to become more organised, say, or more confident, or more ambitious, or to eat more healthily. They tell you what you need to do to enact change, and that’s great if you’re ready to commit to it. But what if your problem isn’t so much that you don’t know what to do; rather that, for whatever reason, you can’t even get yourself started. Perhaps you don’t feel confident in your ability to complete all the recommended steps towards change? Maybe the potential benefit of the change doesn’t seem all that important right now and you just keep putting things off? Or what if there are so many changes you’d like to make that you just don’t know where to start?

‘Motivational interviewing’ (MI) is a counselling approach developed by the clinical psychologists William R Miller and Stephen Rollnick. It’s all about emphasising change from within the client. MI practitioners use their counselling skills, such as open-ended questions and ways to reflect, to evoke what’s called change talk – a conversation about what clients are unhappy about and how they’d like to change . Through an accepting, collaborative and guiding style, this approach seeks to strengthen the person’s commitment to goals they identify for themselves. The emphasis is on a person’s own choices and own reasons for change. Though MI practitioners such as ourselves might make suggestions to help guide our clients, we aren’t trying to force anyone to change or make choices we think they should make. Instead, we ask our clients questions, and reflect back to them what we’re hearing related to their desire, ability, reasons and need for change.

Motivational interviewing recognises that motivation often changes and fluctuates day-to-day, even moment-to-moment. It also sees motivation as a multifaceted concept that involves not only being willing to change, but being ready and able. Being willing means that you recognise that something concerns you about your situation. You see a discrepancy between the reality of your life and the ideal. This might include a desire for change or a sense of need for change. For example, you might think: ‘I wish I were thinner’ or ‘I need to get out of this bad relationship.’ You might complain that your favourite jeans don’t fit anymore or that you’re tired of endless arguments with your partner. This reflects your reality. You then recognise how you wish things were: the ideal . When reality and ideal are sufficiently different, you become uncomfortable. You start thinking about change.

Readiness indicates that you not only recognise a need for change but see this need as a priority amid all the other competing priorities in life. Finally, being able refers to having confidence in your ability to change, and being in possession of the necessary knowledge and skills to make the change.

Crucially, you don’t have to see a counsellor or a therapist to benefit from the principles of motivational interviewing. In due course, you might find it helpful to see a therapist to overcome specific obstacles, work through problems or develop new skills, but in the meantime you can ‘interview’ yourself, to help identify your goals, build your motivation and make plans for change. In this Guide, we’ll show you various exercises to do this. The truth is, there’s no magic bullet we can give you. Expecting to be 100 per cent ready, willing and able isn’t realistic. But by using strategies found in MI, we hope you can get close enough to make the necessary efforts to begin enacting change, step by step.

There are four key stages involved when practitioners use motivational interviewing: engagement, focusing, evocation and planning. Engagement , which we won’t cover further in this Guide, refers to the need for practitioners to build a positive relationship or therapeutic alliance with their client or patient. We’ll start with the next stage, focusing , which helps the practitioner and client identify what issue or concern in the client’s life will be addressed first. You can work on this phase on your own using an exercise to help you clarify what you want to change:

Recognise the problem

Recognition of a problem is the first step toward building discrepancy – that is, recognising the difference between your reality and the ideal. First, what is your reality? Get a notepad and brainstorm what’s causing you dissatisfaction or concerns. Think of areas such as physical health, work, relationships, social life, finances or emotional/mental health where things aren’t as you’d like. If you have a trusted friend or relative, you could also consider brainstorming with them (but do make sure that they help you uncover your own discrepancies, rather than imposing ideas on you). Here are some examples:

• ‘I’m overweight.’
• ‘I worry too much.’
• ‘I can’t seem to get organised.’
• ‘I wish I didn’t yell at my kids.’
• ‘I need to get out more.’
• ‘I have to get a handle on my budget.’
• ‘I’m tired of being depressed.’

If you came up with more than one area of concern, rate the ones you listed on a scale from 1 to 5, where 1 indicates that you’re only occasionally troubled by the issue, and 5 indicates that the issue is causing you significant dissatisfaction. As a rough guide, if the concern bothers you several times a day, you might score it a 5. If it causes you concern only once every few weeks, you might score it 1.

Now, focus on your most highly rated concerns, and think: what would make them better, and why? In other words, what would be your ideal situation? Picking up on the examples above, you might reflect on the following:

• ‘My life would be better if I lost weight because it would help me feel better about myself and reduce my health risks.’
• ‘My life would be better if I stopped worrying so much because it would help me sleep better and probably get more done.’
• ‘My life would be better if I could get organised because it would help me be more efficient and get more done.’
• ‘My life would be better if I could handle my anger because it would improve my relationship with my kids.’
• ‘My life would be better if I found some friends to hang out with because it would help me feel less alone.’
• ‘My life would be better if I could stop spending money I don’t have because it would help me pay off my debt and feel less stressed about money.’
• ‘My life would be better if I could follow through with my counsellor’s suggestions because it would move me in the right direction, toward recovery.’

Now that you’ve identified your reality and your ideal for your most pressing concerns, grab the notepad and let’s put them together – the ideal first, and then the reality: this will help you see your discrepancy for each concern:

(Ideal): My life would be better if I ______ because it would _____. (Reality): Currently I am _________________.

Next, think about how big or small that discrepancy is. How uncomfortable does it make you feel? If the difference you perceive between your reality and the ideal is small, then you aren’t likely to be very motivated to work on the change. On the other hand, if the difference is too large, then you might feel too discouraged to consider working on that change. Ideally, at this stage you can identify a change where the discrepancy is ‘just right’ – serious enough to bother you, but not so huge that it’s overwhelming.

No matter where your discrepancy falls for the concerns you’ve identified, the next step is to choose the concerning behaviour(s) you most want to work on. The phase in MI known as evocation can help with this. In a counselling context, the MI evocation phase is when the practitioner uses strategies to help clients talk about readiness, willingness and ability to change. The theory is that, the more clients talk about their desire, ability, reasons and need for change, the more likely they’ll be to make a commitment and take action toward their goal. Here are two evocation exercises you can try on your own, or with a trusted friend or relative, that will similarly help to increase your commitment and motivation:

Determine what’s most important and why

In choosing what behavioural changes and goals to get behind, prioritise your efforts by exploring what’s most important to you. One way to better understand how to prioritise your goals is to spend some time identifying your personal values.

For each possible change that you identified in the focusing phase, answer the following questions for yourself. Try to think about the possible impact of each change across different areas of your life. What would the change mean for your physical health, work, relationships, social life, finances, sexuality or emotional/mental health. Get a notepad and jot down your thoughts under two columns:

After you make your list of pros and cons, think: why are these outcomes important? Consider what values you hold, what principles or standards of behaviour make this potential change particularly vital. Examples of values include honesty, family, integrity, faith, health, and responsibility. If you wish to reflect on these more thoroughly, here is a list of worthwhile values.

Once you’ve identified your key values, think about how your current behaviours (the ones you’re most concerned about) get in the way of you living by these values. How will working toward your change goals help you better live by these values? There’s no set duration you must spend on this exercise, but take your time and consider coming back to it on different days when you might be in a different mood or have a different perspective.

Build confidence

We hope the previous exercises helped you identify a particular issue or current behaviour(s) that most concern you right now. But even though you’ve determined how important it is to change that behaviour or behaviours, still you might not feel ready to commit to working actively toward the necessary changes. Confidence isn’t an all-or-nothing state of being. Some days you might have more confidence in your abilities than other days. When you don’t have enough confidence, you might find yourself downplaying the importance of the behaviour change, and feel like you want to give up trying. Your self-talk might be full of thoughts such as: ‘It’s too hard,’ ‘I don’t have time’ or ‘I can’t do anything about it.’

Because confidence is so important to change, another key aspect of the evocation phase is to build your confidence in your own ability to make changes to your behaviour. To do this, it’s important to spend some time reflecting on your strengths, your past successes, and your sources of hope and inspiration:

• Identify your strengths . Characteristics of successful changers include creativity, resourcefulness, stubbornness and being adventuresome (you can view a longer list in this resource pack that accompanied a book co-authored by the MI co-founder William Miller). Reflect on your own strengths. You might also ask people close to you to identify some of your strengths, and how you’ve demonstrated them in their eyes. How might your strengths help you make the changes that you’re seeking to make?
• Identify your past successes. Think back to times you’ve successfully made changes and look for nuggets that might help you in your current efforts. What steps did you take then to accomplish those changes? How did you do it, and how could you apply the same or similar strategies today?
• Develop hope and inspiration. What makes you feel hopeful? What makes you optimistic about making this change? Look for sources of inspiration. You could consider creating a ‘vision board’: use a large scrapbook, a pinboard or a blog (set it to ‘private’ if you don’t want other people to see it) and fill it with images and quotes to help you picture your goal(s). Finding a community of support and sources of information related to your change goal can also help you stay focused and inspired: look for forums or information from trusted outlets online. Relevant charities or support groups are often a good place to start.

Make a plan

By now, we hope you’ve identified the problem behaviour(s) you wish to change, understood the reasons why you want to make this change to your life, established some level of confidence in your ability to make the change, and perhaps considered its importance in relation to your value system. At this, the fourth stage of change in MI, planning , you might be ready to come up with your change plan . Once you’re able to say: ‘I’m willing to work on my change,’ that’s a good sign that you’re ready to consider your plan of action. How are you going to make this change happen? There’s really no right or wrong way to do this, though we have some suggestions.

Think of the ‘big picture’ first. A big picture helps us think of the future; it plants an image in our mind. Imagine what life would be like once you accomplish your change goal. Your big picture could be broad and include more than one specific goal. For example: ‘To cultivate a thriving marriage where we communicate regularly, enjoy each other’s company, and pay attention to the other person’s needs.’

Next, zoom back in to develop and refine your specific goal for change. Beginning from the work you did in the ‘recognise the problem’ exercise during the focusing phase, now aim to translate your aims into a SMART goal , that is: be specific, make the goal measurable, attainable, relevant and time-bound. A general goal such as ‘I want to feel better’ will be hard to build a plan around because it’s too vague. ‘I’d like to lose 10 pounds in the next eight weeks’ is a SMART goal.

As you think about your SMART goal, brainstorm possible steps you can take toward achieving the goal. Try listing at least 10 actions, steps or tasks that will help you make progress. Then, go through the list and rate each step from 1 to 5, where 5 is an action you feel capable of undertaking, and 1 is an action that’s too difficult, vague or impractical at the moment. Just as your goal needs to be SMART, your steps also need to be SMART, so try to rework the list to make as many of the steps as near to 5 as possible. For example, ‘Eat fewer carbohydrates and fats’ might become ‘I will limit myself to 1,200 calories a day for the next eight weeks.’

Everyone needs a support system, so as far as possible this should be part of your plan, too. Bear in mind that there are different ways people can be helpful. Consider who could help you financially, be a good listener, encourage you, value your abilities, and reliably touch base with you. Spend a little time figuring out how and when you could reach out to these people. We understand that not everyone has a built-in support system. But there are ways to find or develop a social network that will support you toward your goals. You can connect in person with those who share the same interests or goals (eg, co-workers, faith community or community organisations) or on social media. You might even consider starting your own group.

In addition to social support, there are other resources that might be useful on your journey toward change. It’s worth thinking about buying access to an online support group or, on a bigger scale, the funds that would enable you to move to a new location if your change goal requires it. If you’re employed, take a look at your conditions – sometimes employers offer benefits or flexible working, which might help you enact certain steps toward your change. If you don’t have the financial resources available, is there anything you could do to save or raise the necessary funds? Or could you find creative ways to utilise or access resources in your community? You don’t have to spend money to support your efforts toward change.

Make your strengths a conscious part of your plan . As you did in the ‘build confidence’ exercise during the evocation phase, choose several characteristics you possess that will help you be successful.

Setting up a system of rewards will also help you stay motivated and reinforce positive changes along the way. Brainstorm a list of possible rewards you might enjoy. While you might consider tangible rewards (eg, new clothes or electronic devices), be sure to also include in your plan rewarding activities and events, such as meetings with friends, family outings or time alone doing what you enjoy.

The final part of the plan requires identifying likely barriers and being prepared to find ways to face them or cope with them. Some obstacles might call for practical problem-solving (your support system and resources might help here) while others might be more internal, such as addressing your self-talk. Self-talk is how we speak to ourselves, our inner conversation. Negative self-talk could be an impediment to change. Once you’ve identified your unhelpful self-talk, challenge those ideas. For example: ‘You’ve shown self-control before. You can work at it.’ Again, supportive friends or relatives might be able to help you.

Put all this information – the big picture; your specific goal; 10 specific steps; your support system; your resources; your obstacles – together in a written plan, and review it often. Keeping your goal in mind is crucial to success. If you file away your plan, it will be ‘out of sight, out of mind’, so try to keep it somewhere handy and visible, such as by your bedside or on your desk. You might like to use a template plan such as the free one at the Motivational Interviewing Network of Trainers (MINT) website.

Key points – How to motivate yourself to change

• Change can be hard. Motivational interviewing is a counselling technique that helps people find their own reasons and motivation to change.
• Become willing, ready and able. Exercises from motivational interviewing can help you prepare for enacting change, even working on your own.
• Recognise the problem. Start with ‘focusing’ exercises to identify the discrepancies between how you’d like your life to be and how it is.
• Determine what’s most important and why. Use ‘evocation’ exercises to prioritise your concerns and reflect on how the changes you hope to make will help you live according to your values.
• Build confidence. Identify your strengths, past successes, and sources of hope and inspiration that might help you make the changes you seek to make.
• Make a plan. Develop a ‘change plan’, including establishing SMART goals that are specific and achievable, specifying small doable steps, building a support system, and identifying your resources and obstacles.

Motivation and the process of change can be understood through different theoretical perspectives. Motivational interviewing is partly derived from the social psychologist Daryl Bem’s self-perception theory of the 1960s, which provides the basis for the key principle of discrepancy between one’s actual and ideal self that we introduced earlier. Motivational interviewing is also grounded in humanistic psychotherapy. The humanistic perspective believes that the power to change lies within each person, and that change is always possible.

Another model of change that’s even more comprehensive is the transtheoretical model of change , or stages of change , developed by the psychologists James Prochaska and Carlo DiClemente in the 1970s. The original version of their model describes the five stages people go through when working through the process of change. While motivational interviewing wasn’t developed around these stages, the two approaches work well together, and you might find it useful to consider how the stages apply to your own situation. The five stages are: precontemplation, contemplation, preparation, action and maintenance.

The first stage, precontemplation , is typically used to describe an individual who has no intention of adopting a new behaviour in the next six months. Precontemplators can be divided into two broad categories: the uninformed and the demoralised. The uninformed have no intention of adopting a new behaviour because they don’t know that they need to do something different (in motivational interviewing terms, they haven’t yet acknowledged a discrepancy). In contrast, the demoralised individual at the precontemplation stage has made numerous attempts to change without success, and has decided to no longer attempt change. If you’re at the precontemplation stage, your goal for now is to move from saying ‘I have no intention to change’ to ‘I’ll think about it.’ Motivational interviewing and its focusing exercises can help you in this by raising your awareness of the need to change and providing relief from the stress, anxiety or depression related to the behaviours that have been causing you concern.

Contemplation is the second stage. Contemplators are considering making a change but are reluctant to commit to doing so in the next 30 days. They’re best described as ambivalent about change. Individuals at this stage recognise that they have a problem that needs addressing, yet they don’t see it as high-priority. If you’re at this stage, then, to move past it, it’s important that you believe that new ways of behaving will yield significant benefits with minimal barriers. In this case, the goal is to move from saying ‘I’ll think about it’ to ‘It’s important that I make this change.’ Through focusing, evocation and early work on planning, motivational interviewing can help you identify and address potential barriers, evaluate your goals and values against your target behaviour changes, and begin to explore and build your confidence.

Once you’ve determined that it’s important to make your change in the next 30 days, you’ve reached the preparation stage. It’s not unusual at this stage to begin ‘testing the waters’ by making small changes in the direction of your ultimate goal. This can build the needed confidence to put a plan in motion. Here, your goal is to move from saying ‘It’s important that I make this change’ to ‘I’m confident that I can make this change.’ Motivational interviewing can help by evoking commitment and through work on a change plan, including identifying small steps you’ve already taken or will take toward the direction of change. Spending time affirming your strengths as well as supporting your autonomy will further help set you in the direction of successful change.

Once you’ve developed a change plan and put it in motion, you’re in the action stage. You’re now making changes to your individualised plan that are observable, measurable, and will result in some type of benefit. At this point, it’s essential to also develop a plan to handle sliding back into old patterns, otherwise known as relapse . Should you relapse, motivational interviewing can help – revisit the earlier focusing and evocation exercises to look again at your reasons, desires or need to change. Your backup plan could also include reviewing your reward system, continuing to build your social support system, and re-evaluating potential barriers to change.

Once you’ve maintained behavioural changes that have yielded significant benefits for six months, you’re in the maintenance stage of Prochaska and DiClemente’s model. If you manage to reach this stage, that’s a fantastic achievement – we hope you’ve been able to reward yourself along the way. However, don’t become complacent. Setbacks are likely, so have a plan ready for how to get back on track if necessary. If that happens, much like in the action stage (before the goal is achieved), you can always review and revise your change plan as needed.

We hope the exercises in this Guide help you reflect on your situation and build your motivation to make the changes you want to make. You might still be finding it hard to know where to begin – that’s entirely normal. We mentioned before that sometimes the discrepancy between where we are (reality) and where we want to be (ideal) seems too big. If that’s the case, don’t rush or feel pressured – take your time to identify the minimal practical steps you can take that are specific and doable. Draw on the support of close friends and family if you can. Also, don’t be surprised if your confidence waxes and wanes from one day or week to the next. Motivation for change is often a fluctuating state of being, requiring constant attention and reinforcement – try not to feel despondent if you’re less hopeful on some days than others.

If you continue to struggle to make a change that you believe is very important, don’t feel ashamed to ask for professional help. Also, bear in mind that therapists usually view motivational interviewing as one approach in their toolbox. While we hope you’ll find the exercises in this Guide beneficial, in practice their effectiveness is usually increased when combined with other evidence-based strategies. For instance, you might have specific barriers or obstacles that can best be addressed through other approaches such as cognitive behavioural therapy or acceptance and commitment therapy – there are self-help versions of these techniques available or you could seek the help of a specialist therapist. Whatever approach you choose in your journey of change, we wish you all the best, and recommend the resources below to help you on your way.

Links & books

One of us (Angie) wrote The Motivational Interviewing Workbook: Exercises to Decide What You Want and How to Get There (2020). It contains more than 100 exercises that cover multiple facets of the change process, from recognising what you want to change to why and how.

Although it’s geared toward practitioners, the Positive Psychology site contains a variety of topics and exercises you can explore to help you grow. For example, their self-motivation topic area contains lots of ideas to help you understand and build on your motivation.

If you enjoy podcasts, try the Changeability Podcast series presented by Kathryn Bryant and Julian Illman. Their website , Brilliant Living HQ, also has many practical tips and resources to help you overcome challenges in the change process (this includes a free course on ‘vision setting’ for users who create a free account; most other resources require a fee).

TED Talks are another popular resource for knowledge and inspiration. One of our favourites is the talk ‘Why It’s So Hard to Make Healthy Decisions’ (2018) by the behavioural economist David Asch, in which he explains beautifully why we make poor health choices despite being aware of the cost (or potential cost) of our actions.

When it comes to smartphone apps, there are endless options. For daily inspirational quotes, we recommend the Monkey Taps app . Meanwhile, a habit tracker, focused on your various health behaviours, might help you stay engaged in your change process: the Way of Life app is well rated. Try searching for ‘goal-setting tracker’ to find various apps that help you design, set and track your goals (they don’t have to include health-related behaviours).

If you liked the ‘stages of change’ model we introduced in the ‘Learn More’ section above, then an ideal book to help you through the change process is Changing for Good: A Revolutionary Six-Stage Program for Overcoming Bad Habits and Moving Your Life Positively Forward (2007) by the co-developers of the ‘stages of change’ model James Prochaska and Carlo DiClemente, together with the psychologist John Norcross.

If you’d like more direction in your quest for change, you might appreciate the book Finding Your Way to Change: How the Power of Motivational Interviewing Can Reveal What You Want and Help You Get There (2015) by the psychologist Allan Zuckoff with Bonnie Gorscak. It follows the process of recognising what you want to change, dealing with ambivalence about the change, the importance of the change, and creating a change plan with in-depth examples based on several client profiles.

The nature of reality

How to think about time

This philosopher’s introduction to the nature of time could radically alter how you see your past and imagine your future

by Graeme A Forbes

Cognitive and behavioural therapies

How to stop living on auto-pilot

Are you going through the motions? Use these therapy techniques to set meaningful goals and build a ‘life worth living’

by Kiki Fehling

How to control your gambling

What’s fun at first can all too easily get out of hand. Learn the warning signs and use these tips to rein things in

by Luke Clark

How COVID-19 pandemic changed my life

Table of Contents

Introduction

The COVID-19 pandemic is one of the biggest challenges that our world has ever faced. People around the globe were affected in some way by this terrible disease, whether personally or not. Amid the COVID-19 pandemic, many people felt isolated and in a state of panic. They often found themselves lacking a sense of community, confidence, and trust. The health systems in many countries were able to successfully prevent and treat people with COVID-19-related diseases while providing early intervention services to those who may not be fully aware that they are infected (Rume & Islam, 2020). Personally, this pandemic has brought numerous changes and challenges to my life. The COVID-19 pandemic affected my social, academic, and economic lifestyle positively and negatively.

Social and Academic Changes

One of the changes brought by the pandemic was economic changes that occurred very drastically (Haleem, Javaid, & Vaishya, 2020). During the pandemic, food prices started to rise, affecting the amount of money my parents could spend on goods and services. We had to reduce the food we bought as our budgets were stretched. My family also had to eliminate unhealthy food bought in bulk, such as crisps and chocolate bars. Furthermore, the pandemic made us more aware of the importance of keeping our homes clean, especially regarding cooking food. Lastly, it also made us more aware of how we talked to other people when they were ill and stayed home with them rather than being out and getting on with other things.

Furthermore, COVID-19 had a significant effect on my academic life. Immediately, measures to curb the pandemic were announced, such as closing all learning institutions in the country; my school life changed. The change began when our school implemented the online education system to ensure that we continued with our education during the lockdown period. At first, this affected me negatively because when learning was not happening in a formal environment, I struggled academically since I was not getting the face-to-face interaction with the teachers I needed. Furthermore, forcing us to attend online caused my classmates and me to feel disconnected from the knowledge being taught because we were unable to have peer participation in class. However, as the pandemic subsided, we grew accustomed to this learning mode. We realized the effects on our performance and learning satisfaction were positive, as it seemed to promote emotional and behavioral changes necessary to function in a virtual world. Students who participated in e-learning during the pandemic developed more ownership of the course requirement, increased their emotional intelligence and self-awareness, improved their communication skills, and learned to work together as a community.

If there is an area that the pandemic affected was the mental health of my family and myself. The COVID-19 pandemic caused increased anxiety, depression, and other mental health concerns that were difficult for my family and me to manage alone. Our ability to learn social resilience skills, such as self-management, was tested numerous times. One of the most visible challenges we faced was social isolation and loneliness. The multiple lockdowns made it difficult to interact with my friends and family, leading to loneliness. The changes in communication exacerbated the problem as interactions moved from face-to-face to online communication using social media and text messages. Furthermore, having family members and loved ones separated from us due to distance, unavailability of phones, and the internet created a situation of fear among us, as we did not know whether they were all right. Moreover, some people within my circle found it more challenging to communicate with friends, family, and co-workers due to poor communication skills. This was mainly attributed to anxiety or a higher risk of spreading the disease. It was also related to a poor understanding of creating and maintaining relationships during this period.

Positive Changes

In addition, this pandemic has brought some positive changes with it. First, it had been a significant catalyst for strengthening relationships and neighborhood ties. It has encouraged a sense of community because family members, neighbors, friends, and community members within my area were all working together to help each other out. Before the pandemic, everybody focused on their business, the children going to school while the older people went to work. There was not enough time to bond with each other. Well, the pandemic changed that, something that has continued until now that everything is returning to normal. In our home, it strengthened the relationship between myself and my siblings and parents. This is because we started spending more time together as a family, which enhanced our sense of understanding of ourselves.

The pandemic has been a challenging time for many people. I can confidently state that it was a significant and potentially unprecedented change in our daily life. By changing how we do things and relate with our family and friends, the pandemic has shaped our future life experiences and shown that during crises, we can come together and make a difference in each other’s lives. Therefore, I embrace wholesomely the changes brought by the COVID-19 pandemic in my life.

• Haleem, A., Javaid, M., & Vaishya, R. (2020). Effects of COVID-19 pandemic in daily life.  Current medicine research and practice ,  10 (2), 78.
• Rume, T., & Islam, S. D. U. (2020). Environmental effects of COVID-19 pandemic and potential strategies of sustainability.  Heliyon ,  6 (9), e04965.
• ☠️ Assisted Suicide
• Affordable Care Act
• Breast Cancer
• Genetic Engineering

11 Ways to Change Your Life, and Make It Stick

These expert-generated tips can help you approach your time, relationships, mental health, and passion projects with more confidence and efficiency this year..

By Psychology Today Contributors published December 20, 2019 - last reviewed on January 23, 2020

The new year promises to deliver a fresh array of plans and obligations, on top of all the challenges carried over from the year past. But there's hope: These expert-generated tips can help you approach your time, relationships, mental health, and passion projects with more confidence and efficiency. You may even wind up with a few moments of peace.

Start Seeing—and Sharing—Your Invisible Labor

In theory, after work and sleep, we should have about eight hours a day for ourselves. (Set aside for the moment the troubling reality that many of us may spend more than eight hours working and fewer than eight sleeping —something else to work on this year.) It’s not surprising that you should want to defend that time as fiercely as you can. But powerful forces are allied against you: your partner, your kids, and your parents, as well as chores, bills, mail, and social media . Even if you welcome some of these demands, they can still be daunting. What’s worse, too few of us even acknowledge the toll these responsibilities take. It’s time for a closer look.

Take Back Your Time

If you do most of your “household management ,” with responsibility for meals, shopping, and repairs; if you are the default contact for schools and sitters, the go-to person for cleaners and contractors, and, on top of it all, the resident social coordinator, then you probably carry a heavy, and unfair, burden of “cognitive labor.”

Researchers have been slow to recognize the scope of cognitive labor because it is by its nature invisible—sometimes even to the person doing it. And while the average family’s division of labor has crept closer to equity, women still do significantly more.

Since cognitive labor tends to be accomplished in the background of your mind while you do something else, it’s also impossible to track in hours. In in-depth interviews with dozens of families, though, Harvard sociologist Allison Daminger found most of this work to be underacknowledged and underappreciated by partners who simply don’t see it.

Lacking awareness of how much energy they devote to it, cognitive laborers deprive themselves of the satisfaction of completing concrete tasks. Instead, they are likely to plow ahead until they end up drained, with all of the associated psychological, occupational, and health consequences. If you find yourself dreading another year of enduring in silence, try these steps:

• Track the full scope of your cognitive labor during an average week. Be mindful of everything you do in the background while trying to accomplish other tasks or to relax, and put it on paper.
• Acknowledge to yourself how much you are doing. And then use that understanding to become more flexible and accept any shortcomings with self-compassion.
• Share your log with your partner and talk about dividing labor more equitably. When a partner understands how much you do, he or she should want to help. Each of you can take on roles you prefer and are good at.
• Sequester time when you focus on only one (other) thing, such as exercise or work, catching your mind if it swerves back into cognitive labor, and returning it to the task at hand. You should eventually become better able to focus without distraction.
• Research practical solutions to lighten the load. There may be apps to create grocery lists or schedule carpools, or maybe it’s time to just let others figure out what’s for dinner.

—Jelena Kecmanovic, Ph.D.

Break It Down

Another concept related to cognitive labor is “life admin,” as in “laundry admin,” “insurance admin,” and, if you’re especially unlucky, “lost luggage admin.” Parents in particular struggle mightily with “kidmin,” which can feel like the cloud of dust that follows Pigpen in the Peanuts cartoons.

Admin is complicated, as is our relationship to it. But some simple strategies can help. One is to borrow from something we love. When faced with a daunting admin task—say, planning a children’s party or hiring a health aide for a parent—aim to adopt the same approach that you take when doing something you enjoy or, at least, appreciate, like going to a yoga class or practicing music.

Just do it . With exercise, showing up and starting is often hard, but finishing usually leads to a wave of done-it satisfaction. With that in mind, push yourself to start the admin project, knowing that will make the end visible.

Trust the process . When you’re resisting a task, remind yourself that you’ve been here before and that you have methods that work. You don’t have to meet every health aide in the region; have faith in your instincts to be able to identify the right person. (And if you haven’t been here before, get help from someone who has—another admin strategy.)

Calendar it . Don’t fall prey to the trap of assuming you’ll somehow improvise a plan in the interstices of everything else you do. Admin is often invisible. Putting it on the calendar helps you, and those around you, see that it’s real. Sitting down to do admin in a planned window can make it far less frustrating than trying to squeeze it in.

Picture it . Seeing the steps of an admin task as corresponding to the steps of something you like can help you relate to it as manageable, like the poses in a yoga class or the movements of a piece of music. Pick a thing you love or find easy to do, apply it to your most vexing admin, and see what you can accomplish.

—Elizabeth Emens, JD, Ph.D.

Timetable for Change

• Today: Commit to spending a full hour focused on something, anything, that’s unrelated to your routine cognitive labor.
• This Month: Talk to your partner, children, or relatives about how you can better share your domestic tasks going forward.
• This Year: Compare your cognitive labor list at the end of the year with the one from the start and confirm that you’ve reduced it.

An Essential Mental Health Check-In

Every year, you schedule appointments with your physician and dentist to make sure your body and teeth are strong and healthy. Doesn’t your mental health merit the same attention ? Although an annual psychological checkup may not be feasible for everyone in the current health-care system, individuals should still feel empowered to explore their mental well-being. A self-exam like the one below is not an official diagnostic tool and in no way substitutes for professional assessment or treatment. But considering a wide-ranging set of questions can provide a framework in which to take inventory of your inner life, providing the opportunity to probe, reflect, and grow.

How Are You Doing?

For each of these items, ask yourself if the statements describe your life, or if they don’t. If your answers to half or more are negative, it may be time to schedule a formal check-in with a mental health care provider.

• Mood . I have days when I feel down, but over the past year, I haven’t experienced a period of depressed mood that lasted longer than two weeks or negatively affected my work or relationships. There’s enough going on in my life to keep me absorbed, and I have interests or hobbies I engage in regularly.
• Relationships . I have people who care about me and people whom I care about and can depend on. I express my love to the people closest to me. I have at least one person with whom I feel I can share my most personal thoughts and feelings. If I have a significant other, we enjoy each other’s company far more than we argue or disagree.
• Professional and Financial Stability . I feel like a contributing member of society. I am either engaged in full-time work, provide care for children, or am retired but remain active. I find my work interesting enough and reasonably fulfilling. My workplace is not physically or emotionally toxic. I do not have excessive debt, or if I do, I am following a plan to pay it off. I neither feel panicked about finances nor spend money recklessly.
• Substance Use . I believe my alcohol or drug use is under control, and others in my life would agree. In the past year, my drinking or drug use hasn’t increased significantly, nor have I tried to cut down but failed. I haven’t suffered any negative repercussions, such as arrests, work absences, injuries, or relationship conflicts from substance use in the past year.
• Temper . My temper is usually under control. I don’t use physical aggression to intimidate others. People don’t often tell me to calm down or think of me as hot-headed. I don’t hold grudges or plot revenge against those who have wronged me. I don’t feel as if people are out to get me.
• Physical Health . My health is adequate. I have had a physical with blood work in the past year, I follow my doctor’s advice, and I take medications as prescribed. I walk at least 30 minutes a day, four days a week. I mostly eat food that is healthy and limit junk food. I don’t binge or unduly restrict my intake. I do not suffer from symptoms for which doctors cannot find a cause.
• Sleep . I do not have difficulty falling or staying asleep, and I get at least seven hours more nights than not. I sleep fairly regular hours given the requirements of my job or childcare responsibilities and don’t have frequent nightmares.
• Self-Care . I am able to relax and take it easy. I know family and friends are generally more important than work, and my actions reflect that. I take an hour a day to relax and do things I enjoy. I spend a full day not working at least once a week.
• Purpose . I feel as if there must be some sort of purpose to my life, even if I am not sure what it might be. I am not frightened about the future or tortured by the past. I am able to enjoy being with people and doing things in the moment, and I notice the beauty in the world.
• Goals . I don’t feel as if time is running out to do the things I want to do. If I want to, but haven’t yet committed to a life partner, had children, or launched a career , I feel those goals are within reach. I do my best to be a good spouse, parent, and/or child.
• Suicidality . I am glad to be alive. In the past year, I have not had more than a fleeting thought about suicide. I know there are people who care about me and that they and others would be worse off without me. I look forward to certain experiences and want to keep experiencing them.
• Warnings . In the past year, no one has suggested that I seek mental health treatment, and my partner has not suggested entering couples counseling.

—Glenn Sullivan, Ph.D.

When to Take a Mental Health Day

If you had a cold, you might decide to power through your workday. But if you had the flu, you’d likely stay home and rest—and no one would call you “weak”; more likely, coworkers would thank you for not coming in. Mental health should get the same respect. We’re too often told to “get over it” when we struggle with anxiety , depression , or similar concerns. But if you don’t proactively address your mental health, you won’t be able to perform at your best. Here’s how to tell if it might be time for a mental health day:

• When you’re distracted by something you need to address. If an unfinished task is leading to anxiety, a day off to complete it can address your stress , provide a sense of control, and help you focus more fully when you’re back at work.
• When you’ve been neglecting yourself. If you have not had time to recharge recently, an opportunity to practice self-care may help you perform better.
• When you need to attend mental health-related appointments. If you need to visit your doctor, adjust your medication , or schedule an appointment with a therapist, taking a day off can be instrumental.

—Amy Morin, LCSW

• Today: Make sure you have scheduled all of your essential health checkups for the year—medical, dental, and specialists—and if not, schedule them.
• This Month: Devote a block of time without distractions to a mental health check-in like the one above and think about which areas you might need to improve on.
• This Year: Be attentive to your stress and exhaustion levels and, if you believe it’s merited, see how taking a mental health day makes you feel.

Meet Your Partner All Over Again

Your partner is no longer the person you first met; he or she is at this moment changing right before your eyes. Be thankful for that: It would be a nightmare if nothing ever changed and you were still with the exact same person to whom you committed yourself all those years ago. Research tells us that partners in the healthiest relationships are always getting reacquainted, checking in regularly because they’re interested in each other’s lives and evolution. Staying connected doesn’t take a lot of time; the healthiest couples may connect just a couple of times a day, but five minutes of genuine presence and loving attentive interest can make a world of difference. ¶ When’s the last time you gave your partner five full minutes of undiluted attention? Or the last time you were genuinely and enthusiastically curious about who your partner is becoming? People change; that’s undeniable. Even the things about your partner that you could have sworn would never change will change. The same is true of you. Committing to checking in with each other, checking up on your relationship, and getting to know each other again and again is a proven standard of relationship success and an estimable goal for the new year.

—James Cordova, Ph.D.

You Can’t Do It Alone

A good deal of recent relationship research has argued for the importance of gratitude in successful long-term relationships. But couples who maintain a consistent division of household and relationship tasks may be deprived of the boost of positivity received from a partner’s expression of gratitude, because when you routinely take care of something, it becomes your “job.” And when something is your job, it fosters less gratitude from your partner.

Gratitude is the antidote to expectations and the resentment they generate. When someone’s actions, even sweet romantic ones, become the status quo, a partner may notice only when they don’t happen.

Being appreciated not only feels good, it also motivates you to do more. One study found that partners who felt appreciated for their efforts actually reported being more satisfied with their relationships the more they did.

Take time in the months ahead to think of all the big things, and especially the little things, that your partner routinely does for you or your family and commit to expressing your genuine gratitude for them. Saying thank you every day isn’t necessary, but aspire to express it enough that it feels impactful for your partner. Even better: Don’t just thank each other for what you do, but for who you are. Gratitude tends to be reciprocated, and so—while resisting expectations—you may be pleased to find your partner expressing appreciation as well, promoting good feelings all around.

—Amie Gordon, Ph.D.

Don’t Stop Believing

Once you’ve chosen a person to commit to, how sure are you that your relationship will succeed over the long haul? One key, research shows, may be having faith that you can make it. A recent study found that the belief that you’re in a relationship that will last may influence its quality and prospects. When you believe you have the skills to navigate whatever obstacles might come your way, you can generate momentum that helps this belief become your reality.

Following are the items researchers from the University of Alberta used to gauge partners’ confidence in their relationship skills. As an element of your own relationship checkup this year, rate your confidence in each category on a scale from 1 to 7, and ask your partner to do the same. Differing scores should not be seen as different levels of faith in your connection: The scale is a measure of the confidence each of you has in your own relationship skills, so lower scores can help identify areas you may want to try to bolster in the year ahead. Pinpointing your strengths and weaknesses can be an important step toward building confidence and raising your chances of staying together long-term.

• I feel good about our prospects to make this relationship work for a lifetime.
• I am very confident when I think of our future together.
• I believe we can handle whatever conflicts arise in the future.
• We have the skills a couple needs to make a marriage last.
• We can handle anything that comes our way.

— Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D.

Reboot Your Sex Life

It’s a fact: Long-term partners tend to talk less and less to each other about sex as their relationship progresses, even if one or both are dissatisfied with the amount or type of sex they have. People tend to avoid the discussion because they think it could spark a conflict that could pose an existential threat to their relationship; because they are reluctant to hurt the feelings of a partner about whose welfare they care deeply; or because they fear disapproval if they reveal desires a partner may find shameful.

These are real concerns, but it’s at least as possible that both partners may be ready for a discussion about their sex lives and that both may be looking for a path back to the primal passion they felt at the start of their relationship. It’s easier to become stuck in negative assumptions about age- or status-appropriate expectations and sexual decline than to fully inhabit our body and its sensations.

Great sex tends to feel instinctive, not intellectual. Attempting to rediscover raw passion in a long-term relationship can make us feel exceedingly vulnerable. Yet for many happy long-term couples, primal sex is an essential element. Instead of silently blaming a partner for an uninteresting sex life or living with disappointment, give yourself permission to access your deepest sexual self and to ask the partner you love to join you. Consider these steps:

• Talk about it first. Without a discussion, your partner may feel threatened by your unilateral increased intensity.
• To express your desire, get in tune with it. Many of us spend more time dissociating from our bodies than listening to them. Instead, begin to practice embodiment, an ongoing process of bringing your awareness away from your thoughts and toward physical sensation.
• Allow your sexual self to be your guide. This is a challenge; many of us associate our primal sexual nature with shame and may have been taught to hide this part of ourselves. But don’t forfeit the possibility of great sex just to avoid the risk of internalized shame.
• If your partner is on board, make sure you’re ready to tolerate and embrace their sexual intensity. Don’t giggle, make jokes, or talk baby talk; that will only reduce the chances that a partner will be willing to show that side of themselves again.

—Marianne Brandon, Ph.D.

• Today: Take five minutes to check in with your partner about his or her life and goals, with an ear toward discovering how he or she is growing and changing.
• This Month: Take the test of confidence in your relationship skills, along with your partner, then talk about each of your strengths and weaknesses and how they make your connection work.
• This Year: Think about what, if anything, could improve your sex life, talk to your partner about it, and plan how to make changes that work for both of you.

Pursue Your Passion Without Distraction

“Show me your schedule, and I’ll show you your priorities,” says executive coach Doug Holt. What part of your life best reflects your values: Your family? Serving others? Your faith? Many people’s daily calendars reveal an entirely different set of commitments. If that applies to you—if you find yourself driving home with thoughts like, How can I get through the evening routine with my family as quickly as possible so I can get back to my work?—then it’s time to align your life with what you truly care about.

“You have to take accountability,” says Holt, an advocate of “radical honesty.” You are where you are because of your choices and the actions you’ve taken.” As a cognitive behavioral therapist, I often ask people to track how they spend their time, and as we review their records together, patterns emerge: Are there wasted hours in the day? Does all of their time go toward things that are urgent, and none toward what’s truly important to them? Are their days filled with activities that are neither satisfying nor fun? The data don’t lie, and they tend to shock a lot of people.

If your calendar doesn’t reflect your values, if it doesn’t make room for the family life you know you want to have, or the creative life you always promised yourself you’d lead, take steps toward your core life goals.

The hardest things to accomplish in life tend to be those without deadlines, and the hardest part of those tasks tends to be starting them. You may not be ready to put a deadline on writing a novel, learning to snowboard, or traveling to Italy, but you can start dedicating real blocks of time to those projects and see where they go. If we wait until we’ve finished “everything else,” there will always be something more pressing to do. Instead, start reserving time for your passions and defend that time as if your life depended on it—because, in truth, it does.

—Seth Gillihan, Ph.D.

Unplug From Everything (Once a Week)

Even if accomplishing your passion project will require the use of computer screens, you may find that you actually complete it faster and more efficiently when you build a weekly “Tech Shabbat” into your calendar—a full day in which you avoid the use of all screens and focus on activities that rely on the power of human interaction or the mind-body connection, as opposed to the constant distraction of a mind-machine meld.

As I write in my book, 24/6: The Power of Unplugging One Day a Week , rest itself becomes the technology—the tool—that balances the encroachment of other technologies. By setting off a day for rest and reflection without screens, we can understand ourselves without the distraction of…everything else. If we are online all the time and available to everyone with no time for quality rest, deep thinking, or real-world connecting, we aren’t operating at our most efficient level. Unplugging becomes a tool that returns the power to us. It’s good for our health, for our thoughts, and for far-reaching ideas. These are the things that 24/6 allows space and time for. While we rest, our bodies and minds accomplish much more than we realize.

If we don’t wind down, we’ll never truly wake up. So, look at the calendar and pick a day you can try to stick with every week. Make a list of the things you want to accomplish on your Tech Shabbat and plan how you’ll do them, or, if what you really need is rest, plan nothing. Make sure you have printouts of important phone numbers, addresses, or directions that you’ll need for the day so you won’t be tempted to check your phone. And tell your relatives, friends, and coworkers of your plan. Better yet, invite them to join you.

—Tiffany Shlain

Fill Your Bucket List

A bucket list should be your ultimate inventory of everything you want to achieve, do, see, feel, and experience—and if you don’t have one already, start one this year. Such a list can help you gain clarity and focus on what you most want from life, especially if it’s about accomplishments, creativity , and connections, and not just travel dreams .

Before the year starts to get away from you, take out a pen and paper, or open a new document on your computer, and start writing down what comes to mind as you consider these questions. You may be amazed at how quickly you populate your list and how eager you are to get started.

• What’s the one crazy idea you’ve always wanted to get off the ground?
• What would you do if you had unlimited time, money, and resources?
• What skills do you want to pick up?
• Whom do you most want to meet?
• What is the most important thing you can contribute to the world?
• What do you need to do to give your life meaning?
• Today: Look over your calendar from the past year and start to think about how the year ahead could better reflect your core values.
• This Month: Plan your first Tech Shabbat, ideally with your family’s cooperation .
• This Year: Write out your bucket list and start to commit dedicated blocks of time to getting at least one of those projects off the ground.

Submit your response to this story to [email protected] . If you would like us to consider your letter for publication, please include your name, city, and state. Letters may be edited for length and clarity.

Pick up a copy of Psychology Today on newsstands now or subscribe to read the rest of the latest issue.

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Narrative Essay Sample: The Events That Changed My Lifestyle

Everybody has certain events that change their lifestyle, but for me, it was two major events that really changed the course of my life.

Well, let's start at the very beginning. When I was little I always thought about everything, and my parents said that I had a very big vocabulary and that I always thought long and hard about things. But I thought about the most though was what I was going to get to become a big sister.  I would sit all day praying for God to bless me with a little sister.

Well, I remember coming home from school one day in  kindergarten, and my mom was in the bathtub when she said “ come here  Arlee I have to tell you something.”  I ran into the room full of excitement just knowing what she was going to tell me. So she sat me down and she showed me a little picture, and I looked at the picture and asked what it was, and she said said “see that little dot, that's going to be your new sibling”.” we don't know if it is a boy or a girl yet but you're going to be a big sister”.

Most of my mom's pregnancy was very exciting, I was anticipating the birth of my sibling so badly and I couldn't wait to find out the gender, and when I finally did I was so happy. We contemplated over tons of names, the most popular being Ruby Kate, but in the end, we ended up just naming her Addee Claire.

I remember that day she was born like the back of my hand. We had to wake up at 4:30  And I remember the nanny being on TV And then having to rush off to the hospital. My mom had to stay in the hospital for a few days so I got to stay with my grandma and grandpa. On the first night, my cousin Peyton spent the night too and we went and had furs for dinner.  The next day we went up to the hospital and saw my little sister and we both got to hold her. She was beautiful. She was just the most pretty baby I  had ever seen, with a cute little pink bow right at the top of her head. That same night my cousin Gracie came over to spend the night with me and my grandma and grandpa are to keep me company.  The next day after that my grandma took me home.  

After addee was born everything was really good until one day it wasn't. My mom began to lose her hair and have body aches that were terrible. My dad took her to several doctors who all said the same thing, they didn't know what she had. They said it wasn't cancer but they didn't know what she had. They tested her for all sorts of things such as lupus, fibromyalgia, and other things too. They ended up saying that she did have fibromyalgia, and some other autoimmune disease but they still don't know exactly what it is yet.

A little bit after finding all of this out though, we got some pretty good news. My dad had a friend of his who knew a lady who couldn't quite take care of her little baby girl anymore. I was really excited to find out that we were going to have her stay with us for a while. Her name was Greenlee, she was very sweet. But I knew we couldn't keep her forever, and eventually, we had to give her to some of her relatives. My sister began going to all of the visitations my mom would get with Greenlee and they became pretty close.  But she doesn't quite remember her now. I actually remember once  Addee had told me she wanted a little sister just like Greenlee.  And after some discussion, we realized we wanted twins, so We immediately began to pray every day for twins. And it wasn't but five years later before I became pregnant again.  

I remember that day perfectly as well. I was sitting on the couch in our living room with my sister reading a book when I decided to go ask my mom what a word meant from the book that I didn't understand. When I walked in she called me over and told me the wonderful news. She said  I was going to be a big sister again. All I remember is just running in the living room crying because I was so excited to be a sister again. It was like the greatest moment of my life. 

We contemplated way more names this time considering we were waiting to find out the gender till the day of birth. Everyone said it was going to be a boy and my mom thought so too but I wanted another sister so I wasn't too happy about this idea at all. I  had told my mom I hoped she had twins, but she said because of her autoimmune stuff and the fact that she was 42 and had already had two cesexshons it was already going to be a high-risk pregnancy  .  and it was, she had to have the baby in Dallas instead of in sulfur springs where we were born.

I later found out that my mom wanted to have twins when she was a teenager but changed her mind, and  I also found out that I would have had another sibling before Addee but my mom had a miscarriage.   We went through the whole pregnancy just wondering the gender of the baby, me wanting a girl, everybody else wanting a boy. The day the baby was born my sister was sick and had to wear a mask so when we finally got to see the baby and found out it was a girl  (who we named Aynslee Grace) she kept tugging on my sister's mask and kept sticking her tongue out at her. 

Those events changed my life because they helped shape me into the person I am today and brought a lot of responsibility into my life. For example, becoming a big sister allowed me to learn skills such as patience, and many others that I can use when I become a parent myself.   Also, my mom having her autoimmune disease brought me different responsibilities, for both like having to watch my sisters on my mom’s really bad days and other things too. But those two events greatly changed my life for the better. And wouldn’t change any of it for the world.

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20 Simple Ways to Change Your Lifestyle for the Better

Last Updated: March 4, 2024 Fact Checked

This article was medically reviewed by Erik Kramer, DO, MPH . Dr. Erik Kramer is a Board-Certified Primary Care Physician at the University of Colorado. With over 15 years of experience, his clinical interests include obesity and weight management, diabetes care, and preventive care, as well as embracing a holistic approach to primary care. He received his Doctorate in Osteopathic Medicine (D.O.) from the Touro University Nevada College of Osteopathic Medicine and completed his residency at Central Maine Medical Center. Dr. Kramer is a Diplomate of the American Board of Obesity Medicine. There are 23 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 144,971 times.

Improving your lifestyle can seem like an impossibly lofty goal. Changing everything about your life all at once is probably not realistic, but there are lots of small changes you can make to improve your physical, emotional, and mental well-being, and to enjoy your life more. Start small by making one or two changes at a time. Before you know it, you'll have the lifestyle you've always wanted!

Eat healthy.

• Talk to your doctor or a nutritionist about specific dietary changes you should make based on your personal and family history.
• Your diet can also affect your mental health. Fruits and vegetables are thought to increase feelings of positivity, while fats and sugars are linked to feelings of depression. [2] X Research source

Exercise regularly.

• In addition to improving your physical health, regular exercise can also decrease symptoms of depression. [4] X Research source
• Staying active is much easier if you find an activity that you genuinely enjoy. Try several new sports or exercise classes until you find something you really want to do. [5] X Research source
• Having an exercise buddy can also help keep you on track.

Take simple steps to lose weight.

Reduce your alcohol intake.

Get enough sleep .

• If you have trouble falling asleep, try going to sleep and waking up at the same time every day, even on weekends. Avoiding caffeine and television before bed can also help. [9] X Research source

Quit smoking .

• No matter how you plan on quitting smoking, support is crucial. Find a friend to lean on during the process or join a support group. [11] X Trustworthy Source Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Main public health institute for the US, run by the Dept. of Health and Human Services Go to source
• It will be very helpful to avoid places where others smoke and to spend as much time as possible in locations where smoking is not allowed. Being away from temptation can help you get through the cravings. [12] X Trustworthy Source Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Main public health institute for the US, run by the Dept. of Health and Human Services Go to source

Get a massage.

• Applying gentle pressure to the third eye and the pressure points on the feet can also do wonders for your overall health and well-being.

Get checked for nutrient deficiencies.

• There are not a lot of clear or confirmed studies about the benefits of a nutrient replacement, so it may not work for you.
• Other common deficiencies that can lead to fatigue include B vitamins, magnesium, and antioxidants.
• Talk to your doctor about how to increase your intake of any nutrients you are lacking. Treatment may include supplements or dietary changes.

Reduce stress .

• The first step to reducing stress is to pay attention to the things that trigger it. Once you understand what causes you stress, you can decide how to react to it. In some cases, you may be able to avoid your triggers by staying away from certain people or not over-committing yourself.
• If you can't avoid your triggers, consider managing your stress by incorporating yoga, tai chi , massage, or deep breathing exercises into your daily routine. Exercise, even something as simple as walking, can also help reduce stress.

Let go of the past .

• This doesn't mean you should block out the past. It's important to acknowledge and learn from it, but you need to move forward.
• Be sure to accept any personal responsibility you may have for whatever happened in your past. Continuing to blame others will not allow you to truly let go.
• If someone hurt you in the past, it's important to forgive , even if you never reestablish a relationship with that person. If you did something bad in the past, you must forgive yourself as well.
• Stay focused on the present. If negative thoughts about your past enter your mind, try reminding yourself that the past is the past and now you are focusing on the future. Saying this aloud may be helpful. [17] X Research source

Set goals for yourself.

Come up with a motivational mantra.

• Be sure to acknowledge all of the small improvements you make. They don't all have to be drastic changes!
• You can also use a mantra when you are faced with situations over which you have no control. Try something like, "There is nothing I can do but make the best of this."

Be thankful .

• Consider making a list that you can look at when you're feeling down. You can challenge yourself to add one new item to the list every day. You might be surprised by just how much you have to be thankful for!

Appreciate the wonders of the world.

• If you can't get out to see any natural wonders, at least look at some pictures. This can have a similar effect.

Bond with your pet .

• If you don't have a pet, even petting a stuffed animal can give you a serious mood boost. Or try volunteering at an animal shelter or asking a friend if you can come over and play with their pet.

Smile more .

See a professional.

Create and stick to a budget .

• Start a savings account if you don't already have one. Setting up automatic transfers from your checking account to your savings account will make it much easier to stick to the habit of putting money away.
• Don't deprive yourself of everything you enjoy just to save money. Instead, look for small things that you won't miss that much that end up costing you a lot of money over time. Premium television channels that you rarely watch are a great example.

Stay connected with friends and family.

• Reach out to old friends and let them know you'd like to spend time together.
• Try designating chunks of time for social engagement, whether it's going to a party or having lunch with a close friend.
• Consider joining clubs or groups that will allow you to participate in a social activity on a regular basis. If it is incorporated into your regular schedule, it might be easier to stick to.

Nurture your romantic relationships.

• Openness is crucial to successful relationships. If you have a hard time opening up with your partner, start small by making a point of telling him or her about the things you did today and why you did them, or alternatively about how you are feeling and why. The more you practice, the more open you will naturally be in your relationship.

Find a hobby .

Stimulate your mind.

Expert Q&A

• Don't try to change everything about your life at once. Introducing small changes one at a time will be much more doable. [26] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
• It is always easier to make changes in your life when you have a support system. See if you can find a friend or loved one who is interested in making the same changes. You can both encourage each other to stick with it. [27] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
• Don't let yourself believe that you don't have time to live a healthy lifestyle! You can always find time for something this important. [28] X Research source Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0

You Might Also Like

• ↑ https://www.heart.org/en/healthy-living/healthy-eating/eat-smart/nutrition-basics/how-to-eat-healthy-without-dieting
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/where-science-meets-the-steps/201504/4-lifestyle-changes-will-boost-your-mental-health
• ↑ https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/staying_active_increases_your_long-term_happiness
• ↑ http://psychcentral.com/lib/therapists-spill-10-things-you-can-do-today-to-improve-your-life/
• ↑ https://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/losing_weight/index.html
• ↑ https://www.cdc.gov/alcohol/fact-sheets/alcohol-use.htm
• ↑ https://www.cdc.gov/sleep/about_sleep/how_much_sleep.html
• ↑ https://www.cdc.gov/tobacco/quit_smoking/how_to_quit/benefits/index.htm
• ↑ https://www.cdc.gov/tobacco/campaign/tips/connected/index.html
• ↑ https://www.cdc.gov/tobacco/campaign/tips/quit-smoking/guide/secondhand-smoke.html
• ↑ https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/massage
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolutionary-psychiatry/201502/lifestyle-interventions-depression
• ↑ https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/a-to-z/s/stress
• ↑ https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/how-to/how-to-let-go-of-the-past-and-live-in-the-present/
• ↑ http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2014/07/22/learning-to-let-go-of-past-hurts-5-ways-to-move-on/
• ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/ten_ways_to_become_more_grateful1
• ↑ https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2019/04/190412094728.htm
• ↑ https://www.consumerfinance.gov/about-us/blog/budgeting-how-to-create-a-budget-and-stick-with-it/
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/unwrapped/201502/is-there-time-in-your-type-lifestyle-friendship
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/when-your-adult-child-breaks-your-heart/201410/9-lifestyle-factors-can-affect-your-mental
• ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/12-ways-to-keep-your-brain-young
• ↑ http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/lifestyle-changes.aspx
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/when-your-adult-child-breaks-your-heart/201503/when-you-dont-have-time-healthy-lifestyle

About This Article

Medical Disclaimer

The content of this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, examination, diagnosis, or treatment. You should always contact your doctor or other qualified healthcare professional before starting, changing, or stopping any kind of health treatment.

Read More...

If you want to adopt a physically healthier lifestyle, eating more nutritious foods is a great first step. Most people benefit from eating more fruits and vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, and healthy fats. To keep your body in good shape, aim for at least 150 minutes of moderate exercise each day. You can also improve your health by limiting harmful habits, like smoking and heavy drinking. Your body needs plenty of rest to repair itself at the end of the day, so make sure to regularly get a full night’s sleep if you can. Doing relaxing activities like getting a massage now and then can also benefit your physical and mental health. Additionally, work with your doctor to identify and manage any possible health problems, such as vitamin deficiencies. For more advice, including how to improve your mental and emotional wellbeing, scroll down! Did this summary help you? Yes No

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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Habits — The Behaviors I Want to Change in My Life

A Habit I Would Like to Change: Insufficient Time Management

• Categories: Change Habits

About this sample

Words: 531 |

Published: Aug 16, 2019

Words: 531 | Page: 1 | 3 min read

Things I would like to change about myself (essay)

Works cited.

• Oaten, M., & Cheng, K. (2006). Improved self-control: The benefits of a regular program of academic study. Basic and Applied Social Psychology, 28(1), 1-16. doi: 10.1207/s15324834basp2801_1
• Sirois, F. M., & Pychyl, T. A. (2013). Procrastination and the priority of short-term mood regulation: Consequences for future self. Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 7(2), 115-127. doi: 10.1111/spc3.12011
• Eisenberg, D. M., Kaptchuk, T. J., Post, D. E., Hrbek, A. L., O'Connor, B. B., Osypiuk, K., ... & Buring, J. E. (2010). Establishing an integrative medicine program within an academic health center: Essential considerations. Academic Medicine, 85(3), 338-343. doi: 10.1097/ACM.0b013e3181ccc24a
• Bandura, A. (1991). Social cognitive theory of self-regulation. Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes, 50(2), 248-287. doi: 10.1016/0749-5978(91)90022-L
• Gollwitzer, P. M., & Sheeran, P. (2006). Implementation intentions and goal achievement: A meta‐analysis of effects and processes. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 38, 69-119. doi: 10.1016/S0065-2601(06)38002-1
• Baumeister, R. F., Gailliot, M., DeWall, C. N., & Oaten, M. (2006). Self-regulation and personality: How interventions increase regulatory success, and how depletion moderates the effects of traits on behavior. Journal of Personality, 74(6), 1773-1801. doi: 10.1111/j.1467-6494.2006.00428.x
• Duckworth, A. L., & Seligman, M. E. P. (2005). Self-discipline outdoes IQ in predicting academic performance of adolescents. Psychological Science, 16(12), 939-944. doi: 10.1111/j.1467-9280.2005.01641.x
• Tice, D. M., Baumeister, R. F., Shmueli, D., & Muraven, M. (2007). Restoring the self: Positive affect helps improve self-regulation following ego depletion. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 43(3), 379-384. doi: 10.1016/j.jesp.2006.05.007
• Hagger, M. S., Wood, C., Stiff, C., & Chatzisarantis, N. L. D. (2010). Ego depletion and the strength model of self-control: A meta-analysis. Psychological Bulletin, 136(4), 495-525. doi: 10.1037/a0019486

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Essay on Lifestyle

Students are often asked to write an essay on Lifestyle in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Lifestyle

What is lifestyle.

Lifestyle is the way in which a person lives. It includes the choices we make about how we spend our time, what we eat, how active we are, and our attitudes. Our lifestyle can be influenced by our family, friends, and the society we live in.

Types of Lifestyles

There are many types of lifestyles. Some people lead a healthy lifestyle, eating nutritious food and exercising regularly. Others might have a busy lifestyle, filled with work and social activities. Some might prefer a quiet lifestyle, enjoying peaceful activities like reading or gardening.

Importance of Lifestyle

Our lifestyle plays a big role in our health and happiness. A healthy lifestyle can help us feel good, stay strong, and live longer. On the other hand, a lifestyle with bad habits, like eating junk food or not getting enough sleep, can lead to health problems.

Lifestyle Choices

We all have the power to make choices about our lifestyle. We can choose to eat healthy food, get regular exercise, and get enough sleep. We can also choose to spend our time doing things we love, like playing sports, making art, or spending time with friends and family.

Changing Your Lifestyle

Changing your lifestyle can be hard, but it’s possible. Start by making small changes, like eating more fruits and vegetables, or walking more. Over time, these small changes can add up to big improvements in your health and happiness.

250 Words Essay on Lifestyle

Lifestyle means the way we live. It includes our habits, attitudes, tastes, moral standards, and how we spend our time. It’s about what we eat, how we dress, how we work, and how we relax. It also includes our beliefs, values, and goals.

There are many types of lifestyles. Some people lead a simple life, while others live in luxury. Some people are very active and do lots of sports, while others prefer quiet activities like reading or painting. Some people are very social and love to be around others, while some prefer to spend time alone.

Healthy Lifestyle

A healthy lifestyle is very important. It means eating a balanced diet, getting regular exercise, and getting enough sleep. It also means avoiding harmful habits like smoking or drinking too much alcohol. A healthy lifestyle can help us stay fit, feel good, and live longer.

Effects of Lifestyle

Our lifestyle can have a big impact on our health and happiness. A healthy lifestyle can help prevent diseases like heart disease and diabetes. It can also help us feel more positive and less stressed. On the other hand, an unhealthy lifestyle can lead to health problems and stress.

In conclusion, our lifestyle is a big part of who we are. It affects our health, our happiness, and even our future. That’s why it’s important to choose a lifestyle that is healthy and makes us feel good. Remember, it’s never too late to make positive changes in our lifestyle.

500 Words Essay on Lifestyle

Lifestyle is the way we live. It includes our daily habits, attitudes, moral standards, and economic level. It’s about how we spend our time, what we eat, how much physical activity we do, and our behavior with others. Lifestyle can be healthy or unhealthy based on our choices. It’s important to choose a healthy lifestyle for a long, happy, and healthy life.

There are many types of lifestyles. Some people have a simple lifestyle. They live in a simple way, eat simple food, and enjoy simple pleasures. They don’t need a lot of money or fancy things to be happy.

On the other hand, some people have a luxurious lifestyle. They live in big houses, eat expensive food, and enjoy high-end pleasures. They need a lot of money to maintain this kind of lifestyle.

Then, there are people who live an active lifestyle. They do a lot of physical activities like sports, exercise, and outdoor adventures. They eat healthy food and avoid unhealthy habits. This lifestyle is good for physical and mental health.

Choosing a Lifestyle

Choosing a lifestyle is a personal decision. It depends on our values, interests, and goals. We should choose a lifestyle that makes us happy and healthy. It’s not about what others are doing or what society expects from us. It’s about what feels right for us.

To choose a lifestyle, we need to think about our likes and dislikes. We need to consider our physical and mental health. We need to think about our future. And most importantly, we need to listen to our heart.

Impact of Lifestyle

Our lifestyle has a big impact on our life. It affects our health, happiness, and success. A healthy lifestyle can make us feel good, look good, and live longer. It can reduce the risk of many diseases like heart disease, diabetes, and cancer.

A healthy lifestyle can also make us happier. It can boost our mood, reduce stress, and improve our self-esteem. It can make us more productive and successful in life.

On the contrary, an unhealthy lifestyle can harm our health and happiness. It can make us feel bad, look bad, and live shorter. It can increase the risk of many diseases and mental health problems.

In conclusion, lifestyle is a key part of our life. It’s about how we live, what we do, and who we are. It’s about our choices and actions. It’s about our health and happiness. So, let’s choose a healthy lifestyle. Let’s eat healthy, stay active, avoid bad habits, and live happily. Remember, our lifestyle is our life. Let’s make it the best it can be.

That’s it! I hope the essay helped you.

If you’re looking for more, here are essays on other interesting topics:

• Essay on Lifelong Learning
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• Essay on Life Worst Experience

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Changing Your Habits for Better Health

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What stage of change are you in?

Contemplation: are you thinking of making changes, preparation: have you made up your mind, action: have you started to make changes, maintenance: have you created a new routine, clinical trials.

Are you thinking about being more active? Have you been trying to cut back on less healthy foods? Are you starting to eat better and move more but having a hard time sticking with these changes?

Old habits die hard. Changing your habits is a process that involves several stages. Sometimes it takes a while before changes become new habits. And, you may face roadblocks along the way.

Adopting new, healthier habits may protect you from serious health problems like obesity and diabetes . New habits, like healthy eating and regular physical activity, may also help you manage your weight and have more energy. After a while, if you stick with these changes, they may become part of your daily routine.

The information below outlines four stages you may go through when changing your health habits or behavior. You will also find tips to help you improve your eating, physical activity habits, and overall health. The four stages of changing a health behavior are

• contemplation
• preparation
• maintenance

Contemplation: “I’m thinking about it.”

In this first stage, you are thinking about change and becoming motivated to get started.

You might be in this stage if you

• have been considering change but are not quite ready to start
• believe that your health, energy level, or overall well-being will improve if you develop new habits
• are not sure how you will overcome the roadblocks that may keep you from starting to change

Preparation: “I have made up my mind to take action.”

In this next stage, you are making plans and thinking of specific ideas that will work for you.

• have decided that you are going to change and are ready to take action
• have set some specific goals that you would like to meet
• are getting ready to put your plan into action

Action: “I have started to make changes.”

In this third stage, you are acting on your plan and making the changes you set out to achieve.

• have been making eating, physical activity, and other behavior changes in the last 6 months or so
• are adjusting to how it feels to eat healthier, be more active, and make other changes such as getting more sleep or reducing screen time
• have been trying to overcome things that sometimes block your success

Maintenance: “I have a new routine.”

In this final stage, you have become used to your changes and have kept them up for more than 6 months.

You might be in this stage if

• your changes have become a normal part of your routine
• you have found creative ways to stick with your routine
• you have had slip-ups and setbacks but have been able to get past them and make progress

Did you find your stage of change? Read on for ideas about what you can do next.

Making the leap from thinking about change to taking action can be hard and may take time. Asking yourself about the pros (benefits) and cons (things that get in the way) of changing your habits may be helpful. How would life be better if you made some changes?

Think about how the benefits of healthy eating or regular physical activity might relate to your overall health. For example, suppose your blood glucose, also called blood sugar, is a bit high and you have a parent, brother, or sister who has type 2 diabetes . This means you also may develop type 2 diabetes. You may find that it is easier to be physically active and eat healthy knowing that it may help control blood glucose and protect you from a serious disease.

You may learn more about the benefits of changing your eating and physical activity habits from a health care professional. This knowledge may help you take action.

Look at the lists of pros and cons below. Find the items you believe are true for you. Think about factors that are important to you.

Healthy Eating

Physical activity.

If you are in the preparation stage, you are about to take action. To get started, look at your list of pros and cons. How can you make a plan and act on it?

The chart below lists common roadblocks you may face and possible solutions to overcome roadblocks as you begin to change your habits. Think about these things as you make your plan.

Once you have made up your mind to change your habits, make a plan and set goals for taking action. Here are some ideas for making your plan:

• learn more about healthy eating and food portions
• learn more about being physically active
• healthy foods that you like or may need to eat more of—or more often
• foods you love that you may need to eat less often
• things you could do to be more physically active
• fun activities you like and could do more often, such as dancing

After making your plan, start setting goals for putting your plan into action. Start with small changes. For example, “I’m going to walk for 10 minutes, three times a week.” What is the one step you can take right away?

You are making real changes to your lifestyle, which is fantastic! To stick with your new habits

• review your plan
• look at the goals you set and how well you are meeting them
• overcome roadblocks by planning ahead for setbacks
• reward yourself for your hard work

Track your progress

• Tracking your progress helps you spot your strengths, find areas where you can improve, and stay on course. Record not only what you did, but how you felt while doing it—your feelings can play a role in making your new habits stick.
• Recording your progress may help you stay focused and catch setbacks in meeting your goals. Remember that a setback does not mean you have failed. All of us experience setbacks. The key is to get back on track as soon as you can.
• You can track your progress with online tools such as the NIH Body Weight Planner . The NIH Body Weight Planner lets you tailor your calorie and physical activity plans to reach your personal goals within a specific time period.

Overcome roadblocks

• Remind yourself why you want to be healthier. Perhaps you want the energy to play with your nieces and nephews or to be able to carry your own grocery bags. Recall your reasons for making changes when slip-ups occur. Decide to take the first step to get back on track.
• Problem-solve to “outsmart” roadblocks. For example, plan to walk indoors, such as at a mall, on days when bad weather keeps you from walking outside.
• Ask a friend or family member for help when you need it, and always try to plan ahead. For example, if you know that you will not have time to be physically active after work, go walking with a coworker at lunch or start your day with an exercise video.

Reward yourself

• After reaching a goal or milestone, allow for a nonfood reward such as new workout gear or a new workout device. Also consider posting a message on social media to share your success with friends and family.
• Choose rewards carefully. Although you should be proud of your progress, keep in mind that a high-calorie treat or a day off from your activity routine are not the best rewards to keep you healthy.
• Pat yourself on the back. When negative thoughts creep in, remind yourself how much good you are doing for your health by moving more and eating healthier.

Make your future a healthy one. Remember that eating healthy, getting regular physical activity, and other healthy habits are lifelong behaviors, not one-time events. Always keep an eye on your efforts and seek ways to deal with the planned and unplanned changes in life.

Now that healthy eating and regular physical activity are part of your routine, keep things interesting, avoid slip-ups, and find ways to cope with what life throws at you.

Add variety and stay motivated

• Mix up your routine with new physical activities and goals, physical activity buddies, foods, recipes, and rewards.

Deal with unexpected setbacks

• Plan ahead to avoid setbacks. For example, find other ways to be active in case of bad weather, injury, or other issues that arise. Think of ways to eat healthy when traveling or dining out, like packing healthy snacks while on the road or sharing an entrée with a friend in a restaurant.
• If you do have a setback, don’t give up. Setbacks happen to everyone. Regroup and focus on meeting your goals again as soon as you can.

Challenge yourself!

• Revisit your goals and think of ways to expand them. For example, if you are comfortable walking 5 days a week, consider adding strength training twice a week. If you have limited your saturated fat intake by eating less fried foods, try cutting back on added sugars, too. Small changes can lead to healthy habits worth keeping.

The National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases (NIDDK) and other components of the National Institutes of Health (NIH) conduct and support research into many diseases and conditions.

What are clinical trials, and are they right for you?

Clinical trials are part of clinical research and at the heart of all medical advances. Clinical trials look at new ways to prevent, detect, or treat disease. Researchers also use clinical trials to look at other aspects of care, such as improving the quality of life for people with chronic illnesses. Find out if clinical trials are right for you.

What clinical trials are open?

Clinical trials that are currently open and are recruiting can be viewed at www.ClinicalTrials.gov .

This content is provided as a service of the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases (NIDDK), part of the National Institutes of Health. NIDDK translates and disseminates research findings to increase knowledge and understanding about health and disease among patients, health professionals, and the public. Content produced by NIDDK is carefully reviewed by NIDDK scientists and other experts.

The NIDDK would like to thank: Dr. Carla Miller, Associate Professor, Ohio State University

Essay: Accepting My Changing Career Goals

News editor Isabella Grosso talks about changing paths as a senior in college.

Since I was a sophomore in high school, I wanted to be a journalist.

I took my first reporting class in 2017 and fell in love with the fast pace and deadline-driven life journalism created. I felt the constantly-changing life of a journalist would be perfect for someone like me who is always looking for something new to focus time on. 

Now, as a fourth-year less than 50 days away from graduation with a degree in multimedia journalism, the spark for the profession that was once brightly lit inside me has dimmed. 

This hit me one night in October. I was laying in bed when I realized the career I wanted for seven years wasn’t the one I wanted to choose when I graduated in May. These thoughts sat with me like a pit in my stomach and were one of the hardest things I’ve come to terms with.

Part of me felt guilty, like I was letting my high school self down for not following through on her dreams. I thought to myself, “How could I have spent the last four years working towards this profession and not want to follow through with it in the end?” For weeks, I wasn’t sure how I was going to tell my parents, who have supported me all these years on my journalism journey. 

My brain was full of fears about the future. I wasn’t sure if I was going to have the courage to change my path halfway through my final year of college. I felt as though working for a paper was the only thing I could do. 

After months of these thoughts occupying space in my head, I’ve finally made peace with them. I realized my abilities translated beyond just working for a newspaper. For me, one of the wonders of life is having the courage and ability to change your path for the better — a thought which was previously a dark cloud hanging over me.

Though I no longer want to be the editor-in-chief of The New York Times, there are still aspects of the profession and lessons I’ve learned through journalism that will forever be part of my life.

Being the news editor for The Phoenix has provided me with more tools and life experience than anything I’ve done at Loyola. I know all of my experience editing, mentoring writers, running meetings, designing pages and making tough decisions in the newsroom will translate well to whatever I do.

Though I like to think my writing abilities are sharp and I’m now able to work quickly and accurately in other aspects of my life, harsh deadlines and the unpredictable nature of the field often come with anxiety. I felt constantly rushed through my days, even when I wasn’t writing or editing. 

After over three years as a student reporter and editor, I was finally able to learn how to slow down and take a breath. 

Always having the goal of putting out fair, honest and objective reporting every time I write or edit has taught me to be patient with my work. It showed me to always hear all sides of the story and never stop learning about a topic — all skills that will translate well into adulthood but also are challenging to manage when you constantly feel like you’re not doing a good enough job telling people’s stories. 

This field comes with constant criticism — something I didn’t consider when I was 16. No matter the story or the topic, someone will have an opinion about it — whether it’s good or bad. The constant flow of commentary on stories I was writing or putting out into the news section sometimes became too hard to bear. However, it taught me to decipher which comments to listen to and which ones to shake off — a skill everyone should develop to protect their peace.  

Over time, I’ve come to realize that I have control over my life, even in moments where it may seem in disarray. I have learned to treat my anxieties surrounding my future as just passing thoughts.

I now know if I’m unhappy in the future, with a job or other relationship, I can change it and make my life better. I have other outlets in life like artistic skills along with my journalistic abilities to explore further that could lead me to a new place I never thought possible. 

Journalism will always have a very special place in my heart. I have so much love for what I’ve done in the field, the people I have been lucky enough to meet and the lessons I’ve learned.

No matter where I end up, I know there will always be a reporter inside me guiding me through my future careers and endeavors. To the 16-year-old girl who wanted to be a newspaper reporter, I am sorry I’ve let you down, but I promise our talents are going to take us to extraordinary places. 

Feature image by Hunter Minné / The Phoenix

Isabella Grosso

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Guest Essay

Mass Tech Layoffs? Just Another Day in the Corporate Blender.

By Ashley Goodall

Mr. Goodall, who previously worked as an executive at Deloitte and at Cisco Systems, is the author of the forthcoming book “The Problem With Change.”

Silicon Valley, home of so many technological and workplace innovations, is rolling out another one: the unnecessary layoff.

After shedding over 260,000 jobs last year, the greatest carnage since the dot-com meltdown more than two decades ago, the major tech companies show little sign of letting up in 2024 despite being mostly profitable, in some cases handsomely so. In their words, the tech companies are letting people go to further the continuing process of aligning their structure to their key priorities , or “transformation” or becoming “ future ready .” Behind these generalities, however, some tech companies are using what has hitherto been an extreme measure in order to engineer a short-term bump in market sentiment.

Investors are indeed thrilled . Meta’s shares are up over 170 percent amid its downsizing talk. And where stock prices go, chief executives will generally follow, which means it is not likely to be long before the unnecessary layoff makes its appearance at another publicly traded company near you.

These layoffs are part of a tide of disruption that is continually churning the work days in corporations everywhere. If you’ve spent any amount of time working at a company of pretty much any size, you’ll be familiar with what I call the resulting “life in the blender”: the unrelenting uncertainty and the upheaval that have become constant features of business life today. A new leader comes in, promptly begins a reorganization and upends the reporting relationships you’re familiar with. Or a consultant suggests a new strategy, which takes up everyone’s time and attention for months until it’s back to business as usual, only with a new mission statement and slideware. Or, everyone’s favorite: A merger is announced and leads to all of these and more.

Now, no business prospers by standing still, and there is no improvement without change. Course corrections, re-orgs and strategic pivots are all necessary from time to time. Technological changes continue to demand the restructuring of major industries. But over the last quarter-century or so, the idea of disruption has also metastasized into a sort of cult, the credo of which holds that everything is to be disrupted, all the time, and that if you’re not changing everything, you’re losing.

You can take courses in disruption at the business schools of Stanford, Cornell, Columbia and Harvard. You can read, on the cover of a leading business magazine, about how to “Build a Leadership Team for Transformation: Your Organization’s Future Depends on It.” And if it is the catechism of chaos you’re after, you can buy the inspirational posters and chant the slogans: Fail fast; disrupt or be disrupted; move fast and break things. Part of this, of course, is a product of the hubris of the Silicon Valley technologists. But part, too, is the belief that the fundamental task of a leader is to instigate change. It is hard to remember a time when there was any other idea about how to manage a company.

Moreover, because a majority of corporate executives — together with the consultants and bankers who advise them, the activist investors who spur them on and the financial analysts who evaluate their efforts — have been raised according to this change credo, the constant churn becomes a sort of flywheel. A leader instigates some change, because that’s what a leader does. The advisers and investors and analysts respond positively, because they’ve been taught that change is always good. There’s a quick uptick in reputation or stock price or both, the executives — paid, remember, mostly in stock — feel they have been appropriately rewarded for maximizing shareholder value, and then everyone moves on to the next change.

But it’s hardly clear that this is having the desired result. Studies of merger and acquisition activity have pegged the rate at which they destroy — rather than increase — shareholder value at something between 60 and 90 percent; a Stanford business school professor, Jeffrey Pfeffer, has argued that layoffs seldom result in lower costs, increased productivity or a remedy for the underlying problems in a business; and few of us who have lived through re-orgs remember them as the occasion for a sudden blossoming of productivity and creativity.

Seen through the eyes of the people on the front lines, the reason for this gap between intent and outcome comes into tighter focus. After all, when the people around you are being “transitioned out,” or when you find yourself suddenly working for a new boss who has yet to be convinced of your competence, it’s a stretch to persuade yourself that all this change and disruption is leading to much improvement at all.

“It’s exhausting,” one person I spoke to about change at work told me. “It’s soul-sucking,” said another. One person told me that after the combination of two departments, his people were like deer in the headlights, unsure of what they should be working on. Another had 19 managers in 10 years. Another told me that perpetual change drained the energy from work: “You say the right things in the meetings, but you don’t necessarily do what needs to be done to make it happen.” Another learned to watch the managers and be alert when they stopped dropping by or communicating: “It is like before a tsunami, when the water goes. You don’t see the water, and then the tsunami comes — all of a sudden, it comes, hard. When everything is calm, I worry.”

Of the dozens of people I spoke to, every single one had some sort of change-gone-bad story to share. And these sorts of reactions are about more than simple frustration or discontent. They are rooted in the psychological response we humans experience when our sense of stability is shattered and our future feels uncertain, and indeed the scientific literature has much light to shed on exactly why life in the blender is so hard on us. Experimenters have found, for example, that our stress is greatest when uncertainty , not discomfort, is at its peak — and uncertainty is the calling card of change at work. Then there is the question of agency: a well-known series of experiments conducted by Steven Maier and Martin Seligman in the 1960s discovered that when we sense we are not in control of a situation we give up trying to make things better — this is “learned helplessness” setting in.

Other researchers have described our fundamental need, as a species, for belonging , and the importance of our social groupings — which helps to explain why we don’t like it when our teams are disassembled, reshuffled and reassembled. And others still have shown that we have — perhaps unsurprisingly! — a deep-seated need for things to make sense in our environment, a need that is so often thwarted by the generic C.E.O. statements and exaggerated cheer-speak with which most change initiatives are communicated.

But while the essential response of the human animal to uncertainty and disruption is hard-wired, the degree of change we introduce into our workplaces isn’t. It’s often a choice. We’ve reached this point because the business world seems to have decided that change is an unalloyed good, and so there is no amount of it that is too much, and no cost of it that is too great.

Were more leaders to be guided by the science of change, or by the stories that people on the front lines share, they would quickly discover that it is stability that is the foundation of improvement. Only once we begin to honor people’s psychological needs at work, by thinking twice before launching into the next shiny change initiative and by paying more heed to the rituals and relationships that allow all of us to point our efforts in a useful direction, can we begin to do justice to the idea that a company must be, first, a platform for human contribution if it is to be anything else at all.

Ashley Goodall, who previously worked as an executive at Deloitte and at Cisco Systems, is the author of the forthcoming book “The Problem With Change.”

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Should college essays touch on race? Some feel the affirmative action ruling leaves them no choice

The Associated Press

March 27, 2024, 11:13 AM

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CHICAGO (AP) — When she started writing her college essay, Hillary Amofa told the story she thought admissions offices wanted to hear. About being the daughter of immigrants from Ghana and growing up in a small apartment in Chicago. About hardship and struggle.

Then she deleted it all.

“I would just find myself kind of trauma-dumping,” said the 18-year-old senior at Lincoln Park High School in Chicago. “And I’m just like, this doesn’t really say anything about me as a person.”

When the Supreme Court ended affirmative action in higher education, it left the college essay as one of few places where race can play a role in admissions decisions. For many students of color, instantly more was riding on the already high-stakes writing assignment. Some say they felt pressure to exploit their hardships as they competed for a spot on campus.

Amofa was just starting to think about her essay when the court issued its decision, and it left her with a wave of questions. Could she still write about her race? Could she be penalized for it? She wanted to tell colleges about her heritage but she didn’t want to be defined by it.

In English class, Amofa and her classmates read sample essays that all seemed to focus on some trauma or hardship. It left her with the impression she had to write about her life’s hardest moments to show how far she’d come. But she and some classmates wondered if their lives had been hard enough to catch the attention of admissions offices.

This year’s senior class is the first in decades to navigate college admissions without affirmative action . The Supreme Court upheld the practice in decisions going back to the 1970s, but this court’s conservative supermajority found it is unconstitutional for colleges to give students extra weight because of their race alone.

Still, the decision left room for race to play an indirect role: Chief Justice John Roberts wrote universities can still consider how an applicant’s life was shaped by their race, “so long as that discussion is concretely tied to a quality of character or unique ability.”

Scores of colleges responded with new essay prompts asking about students’ backgrounds.

When Darrian Merritt started writing his essay, his first instinct was to write about events that led to him going to live with his grandmother as a child. Those were painful memories, but he thought they might play well at schools like Yale, Stanford and Vanderbilt.

“I feel like the admissions committee might expect a sob story or a tragic story,” said Merritt, a senior in Cleveland. “I wrestled with that a lot.”

Eventually he abandoned the idea and aimed for an essay that would stand out for its positivity.

Merritt wrote about a summer camp where he started to feel more comfortable in his own skin. He described embracing his personality and defying his tendency to please others. But the essay also reflects on his feelings of not being “Black enough” and getting made fun of for listening to “white people music.”

Like many students, Max Decker of Portland, Oregon, had drafted a college essay on one topic, only to change direction after the Supreme Court ruling in June.

Decker initially wrote about his love for video games. In a childhood surrounded by constant change, navigating his parents’ divorce, the games he took from place to place on his Nintendo DS were a source of comfort.

But the essay he submitted to colleges focused on the community he found through Word is Bond, a leadership group for young Black men in Portland.

As the only biracial, Jewish kid with divorced parents in a predominantly white, Christian community, Decker wrote he felt like the odd one out. On a trip with Word is Bond to Capitol Hill, he and friends who looked just like him shook hands with lawmakers. The experience, he wrote, changed how he saw himself.

“It’s because I’m different that I provide something precious to the world, not the other way around,” wrote Decker, whose top college choice is Tulane, in New Orleans, because of the region’s diversity.

Amofa used to think affirmative action was only a factor at schools like Harvard and Yale. After the court’s ruling, she was surprised to find that race was taken into account even at public universities she was applying to.

Now, without affirmative action, she wondered if mostly white schools will become even whiter.

It’s been on her mind as she chooses between Indiana University and the University of Dayton, both of which have relatively few Black students. When she was one of the only Black students in her grade school, she could fall back on her family and Ghanaian friends at church. At college, she worries about loneliness.

“That’s what I’m nervous about,” she said. “Going and just feeling so isolated, even though I’m constantly around people.”

The first drafts of her essay didn’t tell colleges about who she is now, she said.

Her final essay describes how she came to embrace her natural hair. She wrote about going to a mostly white grade school where classmates made jokes about her afro.

Over time, she ignored their insults and found beauty in the styles worn by women in her life. She now runs a business doing braids and other hairstyles in her neighborhood.

“Criticism will persist,” she wrote “but it loses its power when you know there’s a crown on your head!”

Ma reported from Portland, Oregon.

The Associated Press’ education coverage receives financial support from multiple private foundations. AP is solely responsible for all content. Find AP’s standards for working with philanthropies, a list of supporters and funded coverage areas at AP.org .

Copyright © 2024 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, written or redistributed.

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