essay about life being unfair

12 Reasons Why is life so Unfair: Exploring Life’s Injustices

It may seem that some people have to face more difficulties, sufferings, or injustices than others and that they have no control over their circumstances. There are many possible reasons for this, but some of them are: Life is unpredictable and complex, and we cannot foresee or prevent everything that happens to us or around us. Sometimes, random events or factors can have a positive or negative impact on our lives..

Sanju Pradeepa

You’re scrolling through news feeds and see another story of a person who had their life taken away too early. You think to yourself, “What kind of world is this?” It’s a question that many of us have asked at some point in our lives. We live in an unjust world, and it can be hard to process why things are the way they are. But instead of feeling helpless and stuck in this unfairness, you can take control of your own path despite the odds.

It’s no secret that life can feel pretty unfair sometimes. Whether it’s due to a bad break, a missing piece of luck, or simply not getting what you deserve, dealing with life’s injustices can weigh heavily on your heart and mind.

Focusing on the unfairness of it all will do nothing but keep us stuck in a cycle of frustration and bitterness. So, instead of wallowing in the unfairness of life, we should take the time to understand why life is so unfair in the first place.

Let’s take a deep dive into how life works and how you can strive to make a difference by taking charge of your own destiny, even when the deck may sometimes appear stacked against you.

We’ll explore why life is so unfair, bust myths about what’s standing in your way, and ultimately uncover how to create a more just future for generations to come.

Table of Contents

What is ‘unfairness’.

Have you ever felt like life is unfair? It’s a feeling that can happen when things don’t go our way and the world seems to take advantage of us. That’s because life can be unpredictable, chaotic, and sometimes seemingly unjust.

But what exactly is “unfairness,” and why does it happen so often? When we experience an obstacle that we were not expecting or when the outcome of a situation does not match the effort put into it, we are experiencing unfairness.

For example, when you put in a month’s worth of hard work on an assignment only to get a grade of C instead of an A, this may feel unfair.

In reality, there is no universal definition for “unfairness.” Everyone’s perception of justice will be different and shaped by individual experiences.

However, recognizing when something feels unfair can be a useful tool for identifying and understanding our values , including what matters to us, what we think is important in life, and how best to combat the injustice that occurs.

The Nature of The Unfairness of Life

You’ve probably asked yourself at some point: Why is life so unfair? It’s a fair question, one that has been explored by philosophers since the beginning of time. There are many theories as to why life can sometimes feel like an uphill battle, from the idea that it’s all part of a karmic cycle to the notion that life’s hurdles are there to grow us as individuals.

At its core, life’s unfairness can be attributed to two things: chance and our choices. Chance or luck plays a key role in what happens in our lives; it may be as simple as winning a lottery or as complex as our parents’ decision to move away from a war-torn country.

Our choices, on the other hand, determine how we respond to circumstances that come our way. We may choose to give up or carry on, complain about what we don’t have, or find ways to work with the resources we do have.

Understanding these competing forces allows us to accept and embrace life’s challenges with grace and dignity, while also keeping sight of our power in creating positive change.

Perhaps more than anything else, life’s unfairness can lead us to a sense of deep resignation, a feeling that all of our strivings are for naught. We can go our entire lives asking why it has to be this way and never find an answer.

But instead of succumbing to this feeling of helplessness, try to look at life’s unfairness through the lens of humanity. Rather than asking how I cope, consider the strengths, skills, and experiences I’ve gained as a result of my difficult journey. Then apply them to guide and direct your efforts to address inequities in your own community or environment.

No matter what happens, it’s essential to keep believing in a better tomorrow. Accepting that life is unfair does not have to mean accepting defeat; instead, it can serve as motivation for being an advocate for fairness in your own life and community.

Find strength in yourself and your convictions so that you are not resigned but instead inspired to make the world a better place.

Not all Storms Come to Disrupt Your Life But Also to Shape

Common misconceptions about life’s fairness.

Maybe you’ve heard people say that life isn’t fair and it’s often the most difficult circumstances that can serve as a harsh reminder of that phrase. Here are a few common misconceptions about life’s fairness:

1. Life is supposed to be easy.

It isn’t always supposed to be easy. In fact, we learn lessons and gain strength through struggle. Life is meant to challenge us, stretch us, and make us grow. This doesn’t mean it’s always easy or that things won’t seem unfair at times, but if we persevere through the storms with resilience, we will grow stronger and more capable of tackling even bigger challenges in the future.

2. It matters who you know .

At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter who you know or who your parents are. It’s all about how hard you work. You don’t need to be related to someone influential or depended on luck; it comes down to putting in the hours and not giving up when things get tough.

3. Only Money buys happiness .

This couldn’t be further from the truth: money can never buy true joy or unconditional love in your life. We should appreciate what we have instead of striving for something more materialistic. True happiness comes from within and experiencing new things, not from having more stuff around us.

Reasons Why Money Can’t Buy Happiness: 12 possible Reasons

Reasons why is life so unfair.

Life can be unfair due to chance and our choices. Chance or luck plays a key role in what happens in our lives, while our choices can also lead to unfairness. For example, we may choose to associate with people who are not good for us, or we may make poor decisions that lead to negative consequences. It’s important to recognize that life is not always fair and to focus on what we can control .

We all feel like life is unfair sometimes. We all deserve a fair break in this world, but the truth is, it doesn’t always work that way. Sometimes it seems unfair because you happen to have been born with fewer advantages than someone else, and it seems unfair that people judge your success as your own doing and their failure as a result of their own shortcomings.

But what’s important to remember is that these feelings of unfairness don’t need to strongly affect your life or make you feel worse. It’s easy to let them consume us, but we must be able to take a step back from how we think and be objective about the situation so that we don’t allow our emotions to take control of what we do.

1. Life Is Unpredictable and Uncontrollable

At times, it can feel like life is entirely out of your control. We do our best to plan, prepare, and make decisions but sometimes, it seems like the universe has something else planned for us. Life is unpredictable and uncontrollable, and that feeling of powerlessness can often lead to feelings of unfairness.

Put simply: you never know what challenges or obstacles life is going to throw your way. A lot of the time, these will be beyond your control which makes it hard to find solutions that will make life fairer in the future.

You may find yourself imagining different circumstances that would have allowed you to have a more successful outcome, but you’ll never be able to predict exactly what challenges will arise in your future. The unpredictable nature of life often makes things feel unfair, as if success isn’t down to our own hard work and perseverance.

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2. unequal life opportunities.

Life can seem especially unfair when you consider the unequal opportunities available between social classes and those in different locations. No matter how hard you work, if you don’t have the same opportunities as others, chances are that you won’t be successful.

The way you’ve been educated plays a major role in what kind of future awaits you. For example, if you come from a poorer background and don’t get the same quality of education as those from higher socioeconomic classes, your career options are automatically limited. You might not even get access to certain job openings or competitive courses due to your lack of access to proper education.

Geographic Location

Though the internet has made our world smaller, where you physically live in it still matters. Living in certain areas can determine what kind of job opportunities are available to you, or how much money you can make doing certain jobs.

Depending on where you live, there might be a lower supply and higher demand for certain jobs meaning less competition for people looking for work but that may also mean lower wages than elsewhere.

Though life can seem unfair at times, it’s important to remember that everyone has different life experiences, privileges, and obstacles they have overcome along the way, and these factors all play into what we have achieved in our lives so far. There is no right or wrong way to reach success, just hard work and perseverance.

Why is Life so Hard for Some and not Others: 10 Injustices

3. our own mindsets can manifest injustice.

It’s all too easy to spend our days feeling helpless and angry in the face of injustice. But while external forces can often be out of our control, one thing we can control is our own mindset and attitude . The way you view the world can affect how you experience it, and that means that your own mindset can be a tool for justice or for destructive behavior.

This is because our mindsets shape the stories that we tell ourselves about why certain situations are the way that they are, whether through a lens of injustice or justice.

You have the power to start shaping these stories to fit a more just perspective within your own mind by investing time in self-reflection and learning how to become aware of your own negative biases , understand the history of various forms of oppression, and explore your privilege when engaging with others. In doing this, you can create space to build solidarity with those who experience injustice instead of perpetuating it.

4. We Have Limited Control Over Our Destiny

At the end of the day, much of what happens to us in life is out of our control. You may have had ambitions and dreams for yourself and your future, but there are always external factors that can have a significant impact on how things turn out.

For instance, perhaps you applied for your dream job, hoping for success. But unbeknownst to you, the company was only offering the role internally, and so you didn’t even stand a chance from the start.

Or maybe you wanted to major in engineering at college but ended up having to take out student loans and couldn’t afford them. In both cases, it’s far from fair or reasonable that you couldn’t fulfill your plans, but these things simply can’t be helped in some cases.

It is important to remember that life isn’t necessarily designed to be “fair” or easy all the time, no matter how much we wish it were. Just because we are faced with obstacles doesn’t mean hope is lost. Understanding why life isn’t fair can help us find our way forward when faced with hardships.

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5. we are victims of our own circumstances.

Sometimes, life feels unfair because we are victims of our circumstances. When the cards are dealt, it may seem like some people have been dealt better hands than others. It’s true some people may be born into wealth and privilege, while others may come from poverty and inequality. But that doesn’t mean you’re stuck in your circumstances forever.

You can make the best of what you have, no matter where you come from or what resources you have to draw upon. Here is a list of ways in which you can create a brighter future for yourself regardless of your current situation:

• Develop strong relationships with those around you.
• Take the initiative to improve your skillset.
• Make use of any resources available to you
• Embrace challenges as learning opportunities.
• Set short-term and long-term goals.
• Find mentors who can guide and advise you.
• Surround yourself with positive, like-minded people.
• Take time to think, plan and reflect on your progress.
• Persevere through adversity, and never give up hope.

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6. society’s definition of success can be unfair.

It can feel like life is unfair when trying to determine what is considered ‘successful’ in society. We’re all so different and each of us is unique in our own way yet the same old rules seem to apply no matter what.

When it comes to measuring success, society tends to focus on traditional markers like education, financial status, job titles, and material possessions. And while these are important, they don’t always reflect the achievements you’re proudest of or the true value of your unique set of skills.

That’s not fair. Your definition of success should be personal; it’s how you define accomplishment on your own terms. Don’t let someone else decide what success looks like for you because everybody’s path looks different, and everyone takes a different route before reaching the version of success that works for them.

It can be hard to stick up for yourself sometimes and believe in yourself. But remind yourself that the world has no idea what you’re capable of until you show them. Ultimately, it’s up to you to craft your goals and work toward a purpose that makes sense for you, not anyone else.

7. Unfair Expectations Based on Gender and Race

Have you ever felt like you’re being judged or even held to different standards, simply because of your gender or race? It’s no secret that society still hasn’t completely transcended traditional ideas about gender and race, and sometimes this leads to unfair expectations from friends, family, school, the workplace, and more.

Here are some examples of how these expectations can be unfair:

Family Pressure

When it comes to family, it’s common for certain expectations to be placed on particular genders or racial identities. For example, a single mother might put a lot more pressure on her son to succeed than her daughter, in order to “make up” for the absence of a male role model in the home.

Appearance Standards

There is also a lot of pressure placed on people to subscribe and conform to societal beauty standards from hair length, skin tone and clothing choice which can be based on gender or race. This is especially true in the media and fashion industries.

Implications in Employment Opportunities

Race-based discrimination can still exist within hiring practices at workplaces from job interviews right through to promotions where certain stereotypes about specific ethnic minorities may cause them to be overlooked for roles that they are qualified for but that someone else may be deemed more suitable for.

It’s not easy living with fair expectations that feel unfair but being aware of the problem is an important first step towards creating change.

I used to struggle with my mind for a long time, wondering why this happened to me even though I did my best. After a long period of sitting in a corner, thinking about the unfairness of life and why I deserved it when I hadn’t done anything wrong, here are some ways I’ve learned to cope with the majority of my unfair situations:

8. Life isn’t supposed to be fair or equal for everyone.

Life isn’t supposed to be fair or equal for everyone. Some people are born into wealth and privilege, while others face immense hardships from day one. As much as we wish it weren’t so, the truth is that life’s injustices are unavoidable.

We all have moments when the unfairness of it all hits us hard. Why do bad things happen to good people? Why do jerks seem to have all the luck? It can feel profoundly unjust.

The hard truth is that there’s no grand plan ensuring that good deeds are rewarded or that hard work always pays off. Life is simply neither fair nor unfair. While we can work to remedy injustice and inequality on a societal scale, on an individual level, the only thing we can control is our reaction. When life’s inequities threaten to get you down:

• Practice self-care. Make sure to connect with loved ones who support you.
• Focus on gratitude. Appreciate the good things you do have, rather than resenting what you lack.
• Do small acts of kindness. Helping others gets your mind off your worries and boosts your well-being.

Accept what you can’t change. As hard as it is, make peace with the fact that life isn’t meant to be fair. The only thing you can control is your response.

Though the world may not always be just, we can find meaning even in suffering. We can choose compassion over bitterness and kindness over resentment. Life may not be fair, but we can still make the world a little bit better. That is within our power.

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9. the role of luck and randomness in outcomes.

We all know life isn’t fair. As much as we’d like to believe that hard work and perseverance always pay off, the truth is that luck and randomness play a huge role in how things turn out.

Take getting into college, for example. No matter how good your grades are or how high you score on the SAT, there’s an element of chance regarding who gets accepted and who gets rejected. Admissions officers have to make judgment calls, and they don’t always get it right. Sometimes less deserving students get in while more deserving ones don’t. It’s not fair, but it’s life.

The same is true in careers and business. Two equally smart, hardworking entrepreneurs could start companies at the same time but end up with vastly different outcomes based primarily on luck. One might happen to launch a product that taps into the cultural zeitgeist and spreads like wildfire, while the other’s offering fails to gain traction through no fault of their own.

Romantic relationships are also subject to a fair amount of randomness. Meeting the right person often comes down to fortunate timing and stumbling into a serendipitous encounter. While there are things we can do to increase the probability of finding a good match, ultimately finding “the one” requires a bit of luck.

The truth is, life’s not fair because randomness and luck are built into the system. The universe is chaotic, complex, and unpredictable. While there are always things we can do to tilt the odds in our favor, at the end of the day, the amount of control we have over outcomes is limited. The sooner we accept this, the less disappointed we’ll be when life feels unfair. The good news is that, while randomness may work against us at times, it can also work in our favor. So, here’s to hoping Lady Luck is on your side!

Is Success Luck or Hard Work: Unpacking the Success Equation

10. cognitive biases lead us to see injustice where it may not exist..

We all have a tendency to perceive injustice and unfairness in the world around us, even when they do not exist. Our cognitive biases—the mental shortcuts our brains take to make quick judgments—often lead us to see unfairness where there is none.

Confirmation bias

We seek out and believe information that confirms what we already think and ignore information that contradicts our preexisting beliefs. So if we expect the world to be unfair, we’ll notice and focus on examples that prove that belief while dismissing instances that suggest otherwise.

Illusory correlation

We tend to perceive a relationship between two events when there is none. For example, we may think people of a certain ethnicity get promoted more often because of their character flaws, when in reality there is no connection. Our mind is creating an illusory correlation.

Fundamental attribution error

We blame individuals for their circumstances rather than considering external factors. When we see someone in an unfortunate situation, we assume it’s due to their own poor choices or character flaws. We fail to account for factors outside of their control, like their environment, upbringing, education, and opportunities (or lack thereof). This bias leads us to believe that life’s injustices are deserved or self-inflicted, rather than a result of an unfair system or random chance.

We judge people for things outside of their control, like natural talents, family wealth, health issues, or other life circumstances. But no one chooses the conditions into which they are born or the random events that shape their lives. Recognizing this “moral luck” can help us develop more empathy and see that perceived injustices are often due to arbitrary factors, not life.

The truth is, life isn’t always fair. But by being aware of our cognitive biases, we can gain a more balanced perspective and work to build a society with greater justice and equality of opportunity. Recognizing moral luck and arbitrary chance can help foster more empathy, compassion, and kindness toward others.

Cognitive Bias: 9 Invisible Forces That Shape Our Decisions

11. early childhood experiences shape our sense of fairness..

Our sense of fairness is shaped from an early age. As children, we observe the world around us and internalize beliefs about justice and equality based on how we see others treated. Unfortunately, the lessons we learn aren’t always good ones.

Many of us grew up in environments where we witnessed inequality, prejudice, and mistreatment. We saw people denied opportunities or judged harshly due to their gender, race, orientation, religion, or social class. These early experiences taught us that the world isn’t fair and planted the seeds of cynicism.

The messages we received

As kids, well-meaning adults often tell us “life isn’t fair” to prepare us for disappointment. But hearing this repeatedly can lead us to accept unfairness and even spread it to others. We may adopt beliefs like:

• People get what they deserve.
• Might makes right. It’s a dog-eat-dog world.

These toxic messages stay with us and skew our views. Even small injustices in childhood, like perceived favoritism shown to another child, can have a lasting impact.

The scars remain.

The unfairness we observe as children leaves scars on our sense of justice that are hard to heal. As adults, we see the world through this lens of cynicism and expect the worst. When we encounter new injustices, no matter how small, old wounds are ripped open. Our reaction is disproportionate to the current situation because it taps into a well of accumulated pain.

The only way to improve our sense of fairness is through conscious effort. We must challenge old beliefs, increase our empathy, and commit to building a more just world for others. It’s a long process, but by healing ourselves, we can help make society a little fairer too.

12. Some groups face systemic injustices and discrimination.

Some groups in society face systemic discrimination and injustice. Minority groups, marginalized communities, and vulnerable populations often struggle against unfair treatment, a lack of opportunity, and unequal access to resources.

As a society, we have come a long way toward promoting equality and justice for all. But we still have a long way to go to remedy the harms of discrimination and make sure everyone has a fair chance in life, regardless of their race, gender, internal orientation, disability status, or other attributes.

Racial minorities

Racial discrimination and racial injustice are still major problems. Minority groups face higher rates of poverty, unemployment, police violence, and incarceration. They have less access to healthcare, education, and economic opportunity. Systemic racism built into our institutions and policies continues to negatively impact people of color.

Women face discrimination and unequal treatment in the workplace, like unequal pay and a lack of career advancement opportunities compared to men. They experience high rates of domestic violence. In some cultures, women have little access to education, healthcare, and control over family planning. Legal rights and protections for women are still lacking in many parts of the world.

LGBTQ+ community

The LGBTQ+ community faces discrimination, stigma, and a lack of legal rights in many places. They experience high rates of harassment, violence, homelessness, and mental health issues. Same-gender marriage and adoption rights are still not recognized universally. Many face rejection from friends and family due to their internal orientation or gender identity.

People with disabilities

Those with physical, intellectual, and mental disabilities often face discrimination, lack of accommodation, and unequal access to public spaces, transportation, healthcare, education, and employment. Many live in poverty due to a lack of opportunity and difficulty finding gainful work. Legal protections against discrimination are not strongly enforced.

We all must work to remedy injustice, promote equal treatment under the law, and create a fair and just society for people from all walks of life. No one should face unfair barriers due to attributes outside of their control. Together, we can build a more equitable and inclusive world for all.

How do you cope with the unfairness of life?

It doesn’t seem fair that some people get to experience privilege and affluence and others don’t, does it? You may feel powerless to make a change in the world, but your life is still within your control. Here’s how you can start taking ownership of your own path:

1. Recognize and Accept Unfairness

No one likes to think about it, but unfairness is an unavoidable truth in life. No matter how hard you try or how much you think you deserve something, unfair things happen. Recognizing and accepting this can be difficult, but it’s key to gaining the strength to keep going when times are tough.

So, how do you recognize and accept the unfairness of life? Start by understanding that life is not fair for everyone not for you , and not for anybody else either. Treating yourself with compassion during hard times will help to remind you that everyone experiences their share of misfortune from time to time.

Often, unfairness can be seen as a test of emotional resilience ; it’s a reminder to stay strong and not give up in the face of struggle or disappointment. It also helps to look at how far you’ve come : learn from your past experiences so that they don’t become roadblocks as you move forward in your journey.

By acknowledging the nature of life’s inherent unfairness and recognizing its purpose, you can find inner strength when faced with an unjust reality.

2. Learn to Cultivate Gratitude and Perspective.

It may seem like life is simply unfair to you right now, but the feeling of helplessness is only natural. The best thing to do is to stop worrying so much and focus your energy on cultivating gratitude and perspective in your life.

When things don’t go your way, take a moment to look around and appreciate the good things in your life. Making a list of all the people, places, and moments that have brought you joy can be a powerful tool for reflection and refocusing on what makes life worth living.

It’s also a great reminder that even when times feel hard, they could always be worse. So, take advantage of these moments to practice gratitude and kindness.

Perspective

Life has its ups and downs, but if you take the time to look back over the course of your life, is it really that different than it was before? As you evaluate difficult situations, remember that it’s not just about what happened today, yesterday, or last week. It’s also about how you got here.

How did this decision lead up to this moment? You can learn so much by trying to understand how events unfolded in order to help make better decisions down the line.

Learning how to cultivate gratitude and perspective are two invaluable tools for dealing with unfair times in life. Not only will they help you move past unfortunate events more easily, but they will also serve as reminders of the more beautiful aspects of life as well as give you an opportunity for growth through reflection and insight.

3. Become more aware of your thoughts and feelings

There are many ways to cope with the unfairness of life. The first step is awareness, so you can start making changes in your life. When we’re stressed, it can be difficult for us to see that we’re feeling upset or angry about something. We need to know how we feel so that we can acknowledge what’s troubling us and take steps toward changing it, if necessary.

Life is what you make of it. The world, as we know it, is a reflection of our thoughts and feelings, our desires and fears . To this day, the majority of people believe that life has been unfair to them and that they were born into unjust circumstances.

I would like to challenge this assumption by explaining how you can change your response to what happens in your life, instead of waiting for life to give back all its natural blessings without asking for anything in return.

If you want something bad enough, then nothing will stop you from getting it, even if there are obstacles standing in your way.

We are all born with different abilities and talents, some with a silver spoon in their mouths and others with a golden one. Some people have to work hard for what they want, while others do not.

Some may have been lucky enough to be born into wealthy families who can afford to give them everything they need, but this doesn’t mean that you won’t have struggles of your own if you don’t get what everyone else gets on your birth certificate.

It’s easy to think that life isn’t fair because we’ve all experienced hardships or problems at some point in our lives, but remember: This doesn’t mean there isn’t hope for change.

You Can’t Change What Happens to You

When your best friend moves away, gets fired, or breaks up with their boyfriend or girlfriend and leaves town for good when these things happen, they’re just the way they are.

You can’t do anything about them other than respond appropriately in response to them and then go on with life as if nothing happened. They are part of who we are as humans; our lives are made up of who we have been and what has happened to us throughout our lives (both positive and negative).

You won’t change this fact about yourself by changing your circumstances; there isn’t any magic wand that will allow you access to another dimension where everything goes according to plan for everyone who lives there.

You Can Change Your Response

We all have a choice when we’re faced with situations like this. We can choose to be happy or sad.

If you feel sad, think about what you can change about your response:

• Change your perspective . Think about how the situation makes sense from an outside perspective, rather than from the perspective of someone who has been through it before and knows what’s coming next (e.g., “This is just one more thing out of our hands.”)
• Focus on what matters most in life instead of focusing on things that don’t matter at all (like dwelling in the past).

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4. learn to focus on what makes you happy, instead of what doesn’t..

“Focus on what makes you happy, and do what gives meaning to your life”   Barry Schwartz,  The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less

It’s easy to focus on the negative and dwell on everything that’s going wrong. But if you’re trying to find happiness, it’s important to look at the positive things in life as well.

When I was younger, I was always too preoccupied with what I didn’t have instead of focusing on all the things that I could control, which usually led me right back down into a pit of depression.

But now that I’ve learned how valuable it is for me (and others) to take time out each day just thinking about those things that make us smile or laugh out loud.

5. Be kind and be grateful for what you have

The world is full of people who have it worse than you do, so it’s easy to take things for granted and feel like your life is unfair. But if you’re always thankful for all the good things in your life, then this will help remind you that there are some people out there who have even less than what they deserve.

If you can’t do this, then try to see the positive side of things, or at least try not to focus on all the bad things that happen in life and only think about how lucky we are if we get through them alive, or just be able to wake up tomorrow morning without being paralyzed by fear from what could happen next time around.

Take time out for yourself : If there isn’t anything else going on during the day (and this includes family members),

*Try taking a break from work or school by spending an hour doing something relaxing, such as reading a book or listening to music .

* Talk about it: Talking about how you feel with someone who cares about you will help relieve some stressors in your life.

*Engage in a hobby or practice mindfulness.

* Get enough sleep at night before going to work each morning so that when daylight comes around again after midnight then there won’t be any need whatsoever.”

* Be kinder towards yourself by recognizing your strengths and weaknesses, rather than focusing on all the things that could go wrong if something bad happened (like losing an important job). It may sound silly, but sometimes asking someone else how they would handle an issue can help us get over ourselves enough so we can move forward with confidence instead of being stuck in fear mode all day long.

6. Find the Strength to Move Forward

It’s okay to feel sad, angry and frustrated when life feels unfair. After all, what other emotions should you be feeling in these trying times? It’s natural to have a range of emotions just don’t let them consume you.

What do you do when life doesn’t go the way you expected? How do you find the strength to move forward even though it feels like your world has been shattered?

1. Acknowledge Your Emotions

It’s important to acknowledge and accept that life is unfair sometimes. We can try our best to control what happens around us, but at the end of the day, we’re not always in control. Accepting that will help ease your mind and free up inner strength for moving on.

2. Surround Yourself with Support

Having a strong support system help you process your emotions and provide comfort during difficult times. Being surrounded by family or friends who understand your situation can be incredibly beneficial in helping you cope with an injustice or unfairness that’s beyond your control.

3. Believe in Something Bigger

If you believe in something bigger than yourself, like a spiritual practice, religion, or force of nature, finding strength during tough times can be easier knowing that everything happens for a reason. Whether it’s fate, destiny, or luck, believing something greater is controlling your world can make unfairness seem more manageable.

4. Look for role models.

Find people who have faced or are facing similar struggles and see how they tackled them. Their stories of resilience might just be what helps you take control of your own path and find hope in an unjust world.

5. Practice self-care and self-compassion.

Take time to nurture yourself and practice self-love so that you can be in a better state of mind to tackle any obstacles that come your way.

6. Know that it isn’t your fault.

You may feel like you’ve been dealt a bad hand in life, but don’t blame yourself a lot of the time, we simply don’t have control over our circumstances.

7. Find Your Power.

In order to take control of your own path, you first need to find your power. This power can come from within, through self-esteem and self-confidence , or it can be found in those around you—family, friends, and other support systems. Once you have identified your source of power, use it to guide you towards the knowledge and skills that will help you flourish in challenging times.

What Determines Self-Worth: 9 Factors (Not to Focus on)

8. find the meaning and purpose in your life.

It’s natural to feel like everything is outside of your control when life throws challenges your way. But believe it or not, you can still take back some level of control. Start by asking yourself what meaning and purpose you want your life to have.

Think of this exercise like mapping a path, but instead of a physical one, it’s a mental pathway, leading towards the goals and purpose you want to find in life. It’s up to you and only you to establish what it is you want out of life and take the steps necessary to make it happen.

What kind of legacy do you want to leave behind? What causes do you stand for? These are just some of the questions that will help define your life’s purpose. Consider who has inspired you throughout your journey and how their story has shaped or motivated yours . Who are the people or things that bring positivity into your life?

After identifying goals for yourself, create action plans for turning them into reality. Consider what resources are at your disposal. Think about the skills that come naturally to you and how they can help bring those ideas from conception to implementation.

Life can be harsh, unpredictable, and sometimes downright cruel at times, but it doesn’t have to end there. By taking the time to focus on what truly matters in life and what drives us forward in our lives, we can start reclaiming some control and establishing a higher level of contentment.

Finding Purpose and Meaning in Life Despite Its Unfairness

Life is not always fair, but this doesn’t mean that it is devoid of any purpose or meaning. As hard as it may seem, finding purpose and meaning in life despite its unfairness is a key step to understanding and accepting the unfairness of life.

Firstly, it’s important to remember that life is about perspective. Everyone experiences different things in life, so the way you view life’s unfairness will depend on your own unique experience. You can find ways to make sense of the situations that feel unfair by taking a step back and reframing them in terms of what you can learn from them and where they may be leading you.

Secondly, it is essential to focus on what makes life meaningful to you finding things that give you joy and bring out the best in yourself will help provide perspective during tough times. This could involve getting involved in something that helps society, developing your creativity or engaging with your community.

Finally, it is important to remember that there are some things in life we cannot control; however, challenging yourself to change what you do have control over will help you find strength during times when things seem unfair. This could involve taking an active role in seeking out helpful insights or changing your expectations or beliefs about yourself and the world around you.

How to Determine Your Values:  A Guide to Find What Matters

How to find balance between accepting fate and taking control of our lives.

Fate is the idea that our future is fixed, predetermined, or preordained by some outside influence. It’s the belief that some higher power has arranged everything for us and our actions don’t really make a difference. On the other hand, taking control implies that you are in charge of your destiny and have the power to make decisions to shape your own future.

At first glance, it may seem like accepting fate and taking control of our lives are opposites. After all, one involves trusting that whatever happens is meant to be, while the other requires us to take on the responsibility of creating our own destiny.

But the truth is that they are deeply connected. When we accept the things we have no control over the events, people, and situations in our lives that can’t be changed we actually create space in our minds and hearts to focus more on the things we can control. Instead of worrying about something outside of our power, we can shift our energy towards productive goals and actions.

Once we understand this connection, it becomes much easier to find a balance between these two forces in life: accepting what’s out of our hands and taking action on what’s within it. Knowing when to embrace fate and when to take charge will lead us closer to achieving a fulfilling life.

It can be hard to find the balance between accepting fate and taking control of our lives, but it doesn’t have to be impossible. Here are a few tips for how you can do it:

1. Living Purposefully

It involves doing the things that matter most to us and focusing on our goals and dreams. Making conscious decisions about our lives, instead of simply allowing life to control us, is a way to take control of our own destiny.

For example, if you want to become a doctor, create a plan that outlines how you will make that happen what courses do you need to take? What will your timeline look like? How will you pay for your education? These are just some examples of how you can start taking control of your life while still accepting that there may be bumps in the road along the way.

2. Embracing Uncertainty

Accepting our fate means embracing uncertainty with an open mind and heart. This can be difficult, especially because uncertainty often carries shame and guilt. Instead of trying to close off from these feelings, try to sit with them and work through them so that you can move forward in a healthy way.

3. Letting Go of Expectations

It is key when it comes to finding balance between accepting fate and taking control of our own lives . We all have certain hopes or expectations when it comes to where we want to go in life. The difference is in how we approach those expectations. If we’re too rigid in our expectations, it might mean that we don’t leave room for unexpected surprises along the way or opportunities for growth and learning.

4. Take Action

At the same time, it’s important to take action and make decisions that are in your best interest. There will always be things that are out of our control, but we can still make choices that will lead us in the right direction. Whether it’s taking on a new job, starting a business, going back to school or investing in yourself, taking proactive steps towards your goals makes you more in control of your own destiny and gives you hope for the future.

5. Celebrate Small Wins

When life isn’t going your way, focus on small wins as a reminder that progress is possible even when the odds seem stacked against you. Celebrating small wins builds resilience. It is something we need to get through challenging times and boosts our sense of self-efficacy (our belief in ourselves). It also helps keep our focus on what matters most: staying resilient despite life’s injustices and having faith that good things will happen eventually.

Who Said Life Had to Be Always Fair?

If you have ever opened up the newspaper or your Facebook feed, you know this to be true. The world is full of people who are suffering in one way or another. People suffer from a disease, poverty, oppression, or the way they were born (even the appearance and more about themselves).

Life is a bit unfair. And you’re not the only one who feels this way. There are many people out there who are also living their lives in a world that seems unfair, but what can we do about it? Firstly , know that your situation is unique to you and no one else. It may seem like everyone else has it worse than you, but they don’t; they just have different circumstances that affect them differently from yours.

Second of all : although some things will be harder for you than others (and those things will probably happen sooner or later), there’s always hope for change. Things always get better as time goes on, if it doesn’t sound like it right now.

Maybe it won’t be so bad tomorrow… or next year… or even ten years from now, when we’re all old ladies sitting in our rocking chairs, reminiscing about how much fun we used to have together when life was simpler.

So, it is better to wake up our mind to see the truth/ the reality of the life .

Sometimes you are the one who has more advantages than someone else, and it seems unfair that people judge your success as your own doing and their failure as a result of their own shortcomings.

We all have different circumstances. Some people are born into more fortunate situations than others, and some are in less fortunate situations, but we all have to deal with what we’re dealt with in life. We don’t make our own luck or misfortune; it’s just part of being human.

Remember not only you, many people struggle with the question of why life is so unfair. They may feel that they have been dealt a bad hand, that they face more challenges than others, or that they are victims of fate or circumstance. But is life really unfair, or is it just our perception of it?

One way to approach this question is to consider the concept of fairness itself. What does it mean for something to be fair? How do we measure fairness? Who decides what is fair and what is not? These are not easy questions to answer, and different people may have different opinions and values. Another way to approach this question is to recognize that life is not a single entity but a complex and dynamic system of interconnected events, choices, and consequences.

Life is not something that happens to us, but something that we participate in and influence. We cannot control everything that happens in life, but we can control how we respond to it. We can choose to see life as a series of opportunities and challenges rather than as a series of obstacles and injustices.

Life is not fair or unfair; it is what we make of it. We can choose to focus on the positive aspects of life, such as our strengths, our passions, our relationships, and our goals. We can also choose to learn from the negative aspects of life, such as our mistakes, our failures, our setbacks, and our losses. We can use these experiences as sources of growth, resilience, and wisdom.

Life is not a competition or a comparison; it is a journey and a discovery. We can choose to appreciate the diversity and uniqueness of life rather than judge or envy others. We can also choose to celebrate our own achievements and contributions, rather than diminish or undermine them. We can use these moments as sources of joy, gratitude, and fulfillment.

We must live with the fact that life will not always be fair, no matter how hard we try. There are many people out there who have it worse than you do. This is just a fact of life that we must accept as we grow older and face the challenges and struggles of adulthood.

Life is not always as fair as you’d expect. You can’t change that. But you can change how you respond to it. Sometimes things indeed happen in life that make you wonder, “Why is life so unfair to me?” or feel angry, sad, or frustrated. But if we learn to focus on what makes us happy instead of what doesn’t, then those experiences become opportunities for growth instead of obstacles to it.

If you’re feeling down about life being unfair, don’t focus on the negatives. Instead, focus on what makes you happy and positive, and let those feelings carry you through your day. You may not be able to change what happens around us, but we can sure as heck change our own reactions towards them, and that will help us feel better in any situation.

It’s easy to get caught up in the feeling that life is unfair, but it’s important to remember that you have the power to create your own path. Some of the most essential steps are learning how to take control, identifying the views and beliefs that you want to live by, and taking the time to develop practices that will help you self-regulate your emotions and create positive change .

• Life is NOT FAIR. It NEVER Will Be. It’s OK. – YouTube video
• 7 reasons why life isn’t fair and how to be better at accepting it.
• ABOUT NEW YORK; Life Is Unfair, but Not Always Tragic – New York Times Magazine
• The Paradox of Choice – Book by Barry Schwartz

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2 thoughts on “12 Reasons Why is life so Unfair: Exploring Life’s Injustices”

Most of what you write is wrong. Life is unfair. That’s the first one. Although when taken as a simplification, you can let that one pass. As I don’t want to write a long clarification, I’ll keep it very concise by only writing the broad concept. Life is what happens and that can never be fair or unfair. It happens. Only when you define life as concept as the results of people’s actions, then certainly and without a doubt, life is unfair. Because people are incredibly unfair. And they are because it benefits themselves. When a situation presents itself where someone will benefit from being fair, then they will be fair. Will you then say that life is fair? Of course not. Life is perceived as unfair because the overwhelming majority of human interaction is so that someone will benefit by treating another person unfairly. It is rare that one will benefit by treating others fairly. So, no, life is not unfair or fair for that matter, it’s just life. It happens. It’s people who are overwhelmingly unfair ( and it’s not 60-40 or even 80-20, its 99,9-0.1) .

“Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I appreciate your perspective on life and fairness. While it’s true that life can be unpredictable and people can be unfair, I believe that we can still strive to make the world a better place by treating others with kindness and respect. It’s important to remember that our actions have consequences and can impact others in ways we may not realize. That’s how our lives become unfair.

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Life’s not fair! So why do we assume it is?

Doctoral Student in Developmental Psychology, University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign

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Larisa Hussak receives funding from the National Science Foundation.

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Income inequality in America has been growing rapidly, and is expected to increase . While the widening wealth gap is a hot topic in the media and on the campaign trail, there’s quite a disconnect between the perceptions of economists and those of the general public.

For instance, surveys show people tend to underestimate the income disparity between the top and bottom 20% of Americans, and overestimate the opportunity for poor individuals to climb the social ladder. Additionally, a majority of adults believe that corporations conduct business fairly despite evidence to the contrary and that the government should not act to reduce income inequality.

Even though inequality is increasing, Americans seem to believe that our social and economic systems work exactly as they should. This perspective has intrigued social scientists for decades. My colleague Andrei Cimpian and I have demonstrated in our recent research that these beliefs that our society is fair and just may take root in the first years of life, stemming from our fundamental desire to explain the world around us.

Believing in a legit reason for bad situations

When the going gets tough, it can be emotionally exhausting to think about all the obstacles in one’s path. This idea has been used by many researchers to explain why people – especially those who are disadvantaged – would support an unequal society. Consciously or not, people want to reduce the negative emotions they naturally feel when faced with unfairness and inequality.

To do this, people rationalize the way things are. Rather than confronting or trying to change what is unfair about their society, people prefer to fall back on the belief that there’s a valid reason for that inequity to exist.

This drive to relieve negative feelings by justifying “the system” seems to play an important role in people’s thinking about their societies all over the world . Therefore, it almost seems to be human nature to explain away the inequalities we encounter as simply the way things are supposed to be.

But are negative emotions necessary for people to justify the society around them? According to our findings , perhaps not.

Quick assumptions aren’t necessarily right

We make these kinds of justifying assumptions all day long, not just about social inequality. We’re constantly trying to make sense of everything we see around us.

When people generate explanations for the events and patterns they encounter in the world (for instance, orange juice being served at breakfast), they often do so quickly, without a whole lot of concern for whether the answer they come up with is 100% correct. To devise these answers on the spot, our explanation-generating system grabs onto the first things that come to mind, which are most often inherent facts. We look to simple descriptions of the objects in question – orange juice has vitamin C – without considering external information about the history of these objects or their surroundings.

What this means is the bulk of our explanations rely on the features of the things we’re trying to explain – there must be something about orange juice itself, like vitamin C, that explains why we have it for breakfast. Because of the shortcuts in this explanation process, it introduces a degree of bias into our explanations and, as a result, into how we understand the world.

There’s gotta be a reason…

In our research, Andrei and I wanted to see if this biased tendency to explain using inherent information shaped people’s beliefs about inequality. We hypothesized that inherent explanations of inequalities directly lead to the belief that society is fair. After all, if there is some inherent feature of the members of Group A (such as work ethic or intelligence) that explains their high status relative to Group B, then it seems fair that Group A should continue to enjoy an advantage.

What we found confirmed our predictions. When we asked adults to explain several status disparities, they favored explanations that relied on inherent traits over those that referred to past events or contextual influences. They were much more likely to say that a high-status group achieved their advantage because they were “smarter or better workers” than because they had “won a war” or lived in a prosperous region.

Furthermore, the stronger a participant’s preference for inherent explanations, the stronger their belief that the disparities were fair and just.

In order to ensure that this tendency wasn’t simply the result of a desire to reduce negative emotions, we told our participants about fictional disparities on other planets. Unlike the inequalities they may encounter in their everyday lives, our imaginary inequalities (for instance, between the Blarks and the Orps on Planet Teeku) would be unlikely to make participants feel bad. These made-up scenarios allowed us to see that people do jump to the same kinds of justifications even when we aren’t trying to alleviate negative feelings.

Kids buy into inherent explanations for inequality

We also asked these questions of an additional group of participants who should be even less likely to experience anxiety about their place in society when thinking about status disparities on alien planets: young children. Just like our adult participants, children as young as four years of age showed a strong preference for inherent explanations for inequality.

When we asked them to generate explanations, they were almost twice as likely to say that the high-status Blarks were more intelligent, worked harder, or were “just better” than the low-status Orps than they were to mention factors such as the neighborhood, family or history of either group. This preference promoted a belief that conditions were fair and worthy of support.

These findings suggest that the public’s misconceptions of inequality are, at least to some extent, due to our basic mental makeup. Primitive cognitive processes that allow us to create explanations for all the things we encounter in the world may also bias us to see our world as fair.

But the tendency to rely on inherent explanations, and adopt the subsequent belief that things are as they should be, is not unavoidable.

When we told children, for instance, that certain disparities were due to historical and contextual factors (rather than built-in, fundamental features of the aliens), they were much less likely to endorse those disparities as fair and just. Taking time to consider the many factors – both inherent and external – that contribute to social status may be an effective tool for developing a reasoned and critical perspective on our society in the face of growing inequality.

• Income inequality
• Social sciences
• Developmental psychology
• Negative emotions

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The Enemy Of Average

Why Is Life So Unfair? (And What You Can Do About It)

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Why is life so unfair?

During periods of struggle, I’m guessing that you’ve asked yourself this question. It’s only natural when life seems to be punishing you for no other reason than to be cruel.

The truth though, is that you’re stronger than your circumstances. No matter the injustice that life throws your way, you can overcome these struggles.

And even more than that, you can use the unfairness of your life to your benefit by making something of yourself despite the suffering.

This article will delve deeper into the question of why is life so unfair, and then talk about several different strategies you can implement to combat the unfairness of life.

Table of Contents

3 Reasons Why Life Is So Unfair

It’s true that every job applicant should be judged strictly on merit, regardless of family background or connections.

It’s true that in an ideal world, we’d all endure the same level of suffering, trauma, and loss.

It’s true that if life was completely fair, we’d all be born into families with the same level of opportunity and wealth.

But we don’t live in a fair world, and we never will. You’re never going to be playing the game of life on a level playing field.

Before going into what you can do about this, here’s 3 simple reasons why you’ll never stop asking the question, “why is life so unfair?”

#1: Everyone Wants What You Want

If you’re reading this article, it likely means that you want more out of life. Well, the reality is that so does everyone else. 

Many times in life, we get into trouble when we think we’re special. 

This belief manifests itself in conditions like social anxiety, which plagued my life for years. For those of you who aren’t familiar with social anxiety, it’s an anxiety disorder that’s characterized by an intense fear of being judged negatively by other people in social situations.

It’s an irrational and debilitating fear. And even though the belief comes more from a place of fear than arrogance, it’s actually quite a self-centered approach to the world — it assumes that you’re special, and that people are watching your every move waiting for you to slip up.

The reality is far different — people are so consumed with their own thoughts that our actions aren’t nearly as important as we think they are.

The belief that we’re special also causes problems when it comes to assessing our own level of ambition. I’m a huge offender of this, because for a long time I believed I was special for having so much ambition. 

I wasn’t special at all! Everyone wants to achieve their goals and dreams . Everyone wants to be happier, richer, and more fulfilled. 

The world isn’t fair because everyone is in a race to get the best of everything in life, and some people are given a significant head start. 

• Some people will possess more talent than you.  
• Some people will be born with more natural intelligence than you. 
• Some people will have more opportunities due to their family’s socioeconomic status
• Some people will encounter improbable strokes of luck that greatly accelerate their progress

You might not have any of these advantages while going after the life you want. 

Is that fair? Nope. 

Is that just how life is and how it always will be? Yes.

#2: Self Interest Reigns Supreme

Sometimes other people are the biggest culprits of us asking the question, “why is life so unfair?”

Maybe at one point you developed feelings for someone and they didn’t feel the same way. 

Maybe you’ve been let go from a job because management decided that they needed to cut back on staff to improve margins.

Maybe you’ve been on the wrong end of gossip about your personal life that’s had a negative impact on your personal relationships.

In all of these events, self-interest is driving behavior. At the end of the day, when faced with a decision, most people will place their needs above the needs of others.

It’s a survival instinct that’s been hard-wired into us over thousands of years of evolution — we all do what we feel we need to do to survive and thrive in this world.

It’s not evil, it’s just human nature. At some point, you’ve likely made a decision to benefit your own self-interests that’s negatively affected the lives of other people, even if you didn’t know it at the time.

Does that make you a bad person? Of course not, it just means that you did what you thought was best for you, which is what we’re all trying to do in this world.

#3: Pain Doesn’t Affect Everyone Equally

Right before we both started high school, one of my best friends lost his mother to cancer.

She was a wonderful woman, and I couldn’t believe she had been taken from the world such an early age (she was in her late 40’s when she died)

I also couldn’t comprehend why this was happening to my friend, who now had to go through the rest of his life with a gaping hole in his heart. Incredible pain had been inflicted upon him, and there was nothing he could do about it.

This taught me a very important lesson about the nature of the world — pain doesn’t distribute itself equally among the population.

It’s true that life is suffering, yet some people feel the weight of this suffering significantly more than others do. As you’re reading this right now, there are some truly horrible things happening in the world.

• Sons/daughters are losing their mothers and fathers unexpectedly
• Mothers giving birth are losing their babies in the womb
• Innocent people are becoming the victims of evil crimes

Events like these are inevitable, and when they happen to you or someone you’re close to, it’s understandable to wonder why is life so unfair.

And yet, there’s nothing you can do about it. You can’t change the fact that bad things are going to happen to good people, all you can do is hope that they don’t directly affect you or the people you care about.

We’re all going to experience pain in our lives. For some of you, the level of pain you experience will be healthy and manageable.

Unfortunately, there are some of you reading this who have endured, or will have to endure a tremendous level of physical and emotional pain. You’ll constantly be questioning “why is life so unfair? ” and wonder why the world is such a cruel, nasty place.

Where you end up on the sliding scale of pain largely comes down to luck — the only thing you can do is focus on managing whatever comes your way.

What Should You Do When Life Is Unfair? (4 Tips)

We can’t change the fact that life is unfair, so what can we do to combat the inevitable suffering that life will throw at us?

Here’s four different things you can do to push back against the unfairness of life:

• Focus Only On What You Can Control
• Seize Your Opportunities
• Let Your Work Ethic Define You
• Prepare For The Worst By Controlling Your Environment

The rest of this article will cover each of these strategies in more detail and give you a roadmap for tilting the odds of fate in your favor.

#1: Focus Only On What You Control

When things aren’t going your way, it’s easy to lash out at the world being cruel. Unfortunately, no amount of complaining about the external world will change it’s unfair nature.

At some point, instead of constantly asking yourself, “why is life so unfair?”, you have to shift your internal dialogue.

Here’s a more productive question — Despite what life is throwing my way, what can I do to fight back?

The game of life is won by people who master what’s within their control, and let go of the things that they can’t control..

Get laid off from your job? Sure, it’s not going to feel good in the present moment, and it’s okay to sit with that pain for a few days.

But when the resentment fades, you’re given two choices:

• Option #1: Continue to sit and wallow in your anger, using the pain as an excuse to stagnate and not look for any other opportunities. 
• Option #2: Focus on what’s within your control and execute the action steps necessary to make the best out of a bad  situation.

You can choose to start rebuilding your resume and tailor it to the job that you want to find next.

You can look in the mirror and honestly assess your own performance, and craft a plan for fixing the weaknesses that played a role in you being let go.

You can choose to send in 5-10 job applications per day so that you give yourself the best chance of landing back on your feet.

These are all positive actions that would improve this situation, and you have total control over whether or not you execute them.

So whatever the source of unnecessary pain in your life, write down 5-10 action steps that you can complete that will address this source of pain.

You can’t take on all 5-10 at once, so focus on one at a time and make incremental progress every single day. And if you have the self-discipline to do that, you may find that the world is a much more opportunistic place when you show some grit.

#2: Seize Your Opportunities  

Given that the world is an unfair place, you must take advantage of opportunities that the world throws your way.

Successful people are masters of seizing opportunity. Average people tend to let opportunities pass them by and then curse the world for their bad fortune.

The world doesn’t distribute it’s opportunities to everyone equally. Some people get the benefit of being in the right place at the right time more often than others, but we’re all in that position at one point or another.

The only question is whether or not you’re going to act at that moment.

I guarantee that if you look back on the positive events that have happened in your life, most of them were preceded by you seizing an opportunity.

The dilemma with opportunities is that capitalizing on them requires getting outside of your comfort zone. The single biggest culprit of a failure to seize opportunity tracks back to fear — fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear being negatively judged by others, etc.

If you want to make your own luck in this world, you have to get comfortable with fear. You must learn to take action in spite of it when opportunities arise.

One of the best ways to do this is through comfort zone challenges, which essentially force you to practice facing your fears.

The inherent nature of comfort zone challenges is that there’s potential for embarrassment or rejection. And although it feels scary to embrace these emotions in the moment, what lies on the other side is a greater sense of freedom.

Each time you face fear despite your brain’s urges to retreat, you build up evidence in your brain that you can handle discomfort and take risks in spite of your emotions.

And when you become that kind of person, seizing opportunities becomes far easier.

#3: Let Your Work Ethic Define You

There are a bunch of things in life that you have no control over.

You don’t have control over whether or not you were born into money. You don’t have control over your genetic code. You don’t have control over the actions of others, and the negative consequences of those actions on your own life.

With that being said, there’s one thing that you always have control over no matter how dire your situation is, and that’s your work ethic.

Working hard doesn’t guarantee success, it just tilts the odds in your favor. And the level to which the odds shift in your favor is directly related to your level of commitment to your craft.

Early on this blogging journey of mine, I realized that I didn’t have much control over when it was going to start to take off:

• I couldn’t control whether or not my guest posts to other blogs were accepted or not
• I couldn’t control whether or not other influencers in the self-improvement world would mention my content or not
• I couldn’t control the speed at which my content would start to rank in Google.

However, I did have control over the amount of posts I published each week. 

In the blogging world, more posts means more opportunities to rank in Google. More opportunities to rank means more traffic. More traffic means more money, and more money means having the resources to make this my full-time career.

Published posts is the one key metric that makes all of the things listed above possible. Furthermore, it’s something that I have 100% control over, which means it deserves every ounce of my limited focus and attention.

Now for you, this key metric may be different. In any endeavor, there’s a number of different actions that can improve your chances of success. 

However, there’s typically one thing you have control over that has the greatest influence on your overall happiness, fulfillment, and success.

So instead of asking yourself “why is life so unfair?” ask yourself this:

What’s my one key metric? What’s the one daily action that will significantly move the needle in my personal and professional life?

If you work in sales, that one key metric might be the number of calls you make every single day or the number of emails you send out.

If you’re a writer, that one key metric might be the number of words you write every single day.

If you have aspirations to become a world-class chef, that one key metric might be the number of classes you take to improve your craft.

Focusing on this metric won’t guarantee success, but it will give you a chance to smartly outwork everyone who wants what you want. And you’ll be less affected by the slings and arrows of fate when you adopt 100% responsibility for a metric that has a tremendous impact on your outcomes.

#4: Prepare For The Worst By Controlling Your Environment

“Environment is the invisible hand that shapes human  behavior.” ~ James Clear

Oftentimes, we underestimate the impact of our environment. This is a fatal mistake because human beings are a product of the environments that they’re in. 

Given that the world can be an unfair place, we need to do as many things as possible to tilt the odds in our favor.

If you were to suddenly lose a family member due to illness, would you have a strong social support system to rely on? Or, would your lack of social connection accentuate the despair that comes along with losing a loved one?

The world taking away someone that you love is a horrible tragedy that you can’t prevent. However, the strength of your personal relationships is an environmental factor that influences how you come out of this tragedy.

It also happens to be 100% controllable. There are several other examples that we could dive into, but the bottom line is this:

Bad things are going to happen to you in life. Most of the time you don’t know when, where, why or how they will happen, but be rest assured that your day is coming. The only thing you can do to prepare for adversity is to design your environment in a way that facilitates your ability to handle the consequences of fate.

The type of people that you associate with. The ease of access to distractions that impede your personal and professional growth. The places that you choose to spend time in.

These are all environmental factors that you can determine, life doesn’t have to determine these for you. And when adversity hits, these factors often play a huge role in the way you handle it.

Why Is Life So Unfair Quotes

I think a nice way to wrap up this article is to mention some inspirational quotes about the unfairness of life and the power we have to overcome it.

So without further ado, here’s a list of hard hitting quotes that highlight the harsh nature of life, and what we can do about it.

• “Life is unfair but remember sometimes it is unfair in your favor.” ~ Peter Ustinov
• “So I came to the realization. Nothing in life is unfair. It’s just life.” ~ Rob Lowe
• “Inside of a ring or out, ain’t nothing wrong with going down. It’s staying down that’s wrong.” ~ Muhammad Ali
• “The problem isn’t that life is unfair — it’s our broken idea of fairness. Meaning, our idea of fairness is self-centered.” ~ Tony Warrick
• “The only thing that makes life unfair is the delusion that it should be fair.” ~ Dr. Steve Maraboli
• “ One of the most fascinating lessons I’ve absorbed about life is that struggle is good.” ~ Joe Rogan
• “The happiest people don’t bother about whether life is unfair. They just concentrate on what they have.” ~ Andrew Matthews
• “Life happened. In all its banality, cruelty, and unfairness. But also in its beauty, pleasures, and delights. Life happened.” ~ Thirty Umrigar
• “Life isn’t fair. It never will be. Quit trying to make it fair. You don’t need it to be fair. Go make life unfair to your advantages.” ~ Robert Kiyosaki
• “Life isn’t fair. No matter what life throws your way, no matter how unfair it may seem, refuse to play the victim. Refuse to be ruled by fear, pessimism, and negativity. Refuse to quit. Be a warrior and work through whatever life throws your way with courage, love, and positivity.” ~ Zero Dean
• “When life puts you in touchy situations, don’t say “Why Me?” Just say “Try me.” ~ Dwayne Johnson
• “Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us.” ~ Unknown
• “Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand.” ~ Hayley Williams
• “Sometimes, life is unfair and you have to suck it up and move on and not use it as an excuse.” ~ Robert Kraft

Final Thoughts: Why Is Life So Unfair

The world isn’t always going to act in your favor, so you must learn to act on the world and make the best of your situation.

Usually, this means focusing on what you can control. The world can be a horrifying unfair place, but it also rewards those with the courage to become the master of their fate.

If you accept the fact that life is unfair instead of cursing the fact that it is, you’ll be more likely to work towards your goals and dreams with persistence and perseverance, knowing that you and you alone are responsible for creating your own happiness.

Hopefully the tips outlined in this article put you on the path to doing just that.

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Life Isn’t Fair – Get Over It Or Get Frustrated. It’s Your Choice.

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Have you ever said, “Life isn’t fair”?

Of course you have. We’ve all said that.

And we’re right. Life is NOT FAIR. At least it’s not fair all the time.

But sometimes life IS FAIR — to be fair.

So somebody commits a capital crime. The crime is investigated and a suspect is arrested. The defendant is tried in court and convicted by a jury as a result of the evidence. Finally, the convicted is sent to prison to serve their sentence.

That’s fair, is it not?

The person broke the law and the law punished them for the violation. This is not only fair, but our society functions effectively because of it.

Or consider a young person who decides to pursue a preferred career option.

They do well in school; are accepted into a good college; attend the college and excel; graduate from the college; apply for jobs; and eventually get hired by a firm and they have a stellar career.

That’s fair, isn’t it?

A just reward for discipline and hard work. It’s a common motivator for overcoming the inertia that’s all too common.

But even as we agree that some things in life are fair, we know that some things are NOT FAIR. In fact, many things in life are not fair. For example:

On September 11, 2001, nearly 3,000 people lost their lives through an act of terrorism. People who were just trying to earn an honest day’s pay for an honest day’s work. Children. Peace-loving people. Business people. Daycare workers. Service workers. Firefighters. People who not only did not deserve to die, but certainly not in the horrific way that took their lives that beautiful crisp September morning. That’s not fair. It’s not fair at all.

Martin Luther King, Jr., while pioneering the ideals stated in our Declaration of Independence, was assassinated by a man who had no concern for fairness at all. A man who had dedicated his life to freedom and equality and dignity for all — was cut down by a man who had no concern for any of these things. This is just not fair. Such unfairness makes us angry and we cry out against it.

Some people are born into privilege. Born into a family with money and influence. Sent to the best schools. Afforded opportunities that most can only dream about. But others are born into crushing poverty. Where survival is a daily challenge. No money or influence. Few, if any, opportunities. Yet neither the child of privilege nor the child of disadvantage did anything to bring about their fortune or lack of it. How is it fair that a child who did nothing to merit their good fortune receives so much of it? How is it fair that a child who did nothing to deserve their misfortune receives so much of it? How is that fair? It’s not fair. It’s not fair at all.

In many respects, life is just not fair. We would all agree on that. And agreeing to life’s unfairness is a good place to begin. So let’s just say it. LIFE IS NOT FAIR! And it’s a certainty that we will continue to see manifestations of life’s unfairness into the future. So what do we do about it? What do we do given the fact that life is unfair? Consider the following suggestions.

Speak to an accredited and experienced therapist to help you accept the unfairness of life. You may want to try speaking to one via BetterHelp.com for quality care at its most convenient.

We should begin by simply admitting that life is unfair . And it will always be unfair to a point.

It’s not our fault. It’s not our doing. We didn’t cause it. It just IS.

Denying that life is unfair is not only inaccurate, it’s pointless. So just admit it. Say it out loud. LIFE IS UNFAIR. It helps.

The second thing we should do is accept that life is unfair . That life always has been and always will be unfair.

We can’t change it except on the smallest of scales.

Accepting what we cannot change is one of the hallmarks of the Serenity Prayer.

It’s also a good approach to the unfairness in the world. We simply accept it as part of life. And part of our own journey.

Anticipate It

Given the fact that unfairness is part of life, we should anticipate it .

Unfairness is universal in every culture, in every time, and in every place.

Admitting and accepting that life is unfair will help us anticipate it, and not be shocked when we see it or experience it.

We may be disappointed when we experience life’s unfairness. But there’s no reason to be surprised by it. Certainly not shocked by it.

Anticipating it will go a long way toward helping us not be disillusioned by it.

Adjust To It

When we recognize that life is unfair and adopt the proper attitude toward it, we’ll be ready to adjust to it .

We adjust by not letting the unfairness of life derail us. By not letting life’s unfairness divert us from our mission and purpose.

Life’s unfairness can lead us to bitterness and cynicism . It can generate fear and dread in us as we think about the future.But none of this is necessary.

We can adjust to life’s unfairness. When something happens to us that’s not fair, we simply declare it so and adjust to it.We admit the unfairness. We mourn the fact that it was unfair. We don’t like it. But we don’t deny it.

We accept the unfairness when it happens. But we don’t equate acceptance with endorsement . Nor do we ignore the unfairness.

There are things we may choose to do that will better ensure that the particular unfairness ceases. But accepting it helps this process rather than hinders it.

Until we admit and accept that unfairness has occurred, we won’t be ready to deal with it. When we adjust to unfairness, we’re ready to move forward.

Adapt To It

When something is inevitable and unavoidable, it’s usually fruitless to get worked up over it.

It’s okay to get angry and resolve to change it if possible, but fighting unfairness doesn’t always have to be a fight.

When you’re out on the open sea in a sailboat and the wind shifts, you don’t fight the wind — you change your sails . You will never defeat the wind. All you can do is work in harmony with the wind to accomplish your goal.

If we insist on getting worked up over life’s unfairness, we will only relegate ourselves to frustration.

One of the quips of the ages is, “It’s better to light a candle than curse the darkness.”

We may feel better for a brief time by cursing the darkness. But cursing the darkness generates no light. We must light a candle to do that.

Fighting doesn’t bring the light. Cursing doesn’t bring the light. It’s the candle that brings the light.

Of course, we’re free to do battle if we choose.

I’ve known people whose life consisted almost entirely of railing against the unfairness in the world. As if their complaining about the unfairness will eradicate it.

It’s not going to happen.

The best we can do is adapt to the unfairness by accepting that it will always be with us. Then do what we can to combat it when we see it. And certainly not to contribute to it ourselves.The choice is ours to make. We don’t need to be frustrated by the unfairness. We can respond to it in a healthy and productive way. And we should. So let’s review.

Life is not fair. It just isn’t. Sometimes it’s mildly unfair. Sometimes it’s grossly unfair.

When we see life display its unfairness, here’s what we should do:

• ADMIT. Deep down we know that life is unfair. Just admit that it is. It will help.
• ACCEPT. Accepting life’s unfairness doesn’t mean we like it. It does mean we accept it as part of our journey.
• ANTICIPATE. Once we accept that life is unfair, we’ll be less shocked and derailed when we see it. We should expect life to be unfair because it is.
• ADJUST. Because life is unfair, we’ll be called upon to adjust when we experience it. If not, then life’s unfairness will get the better of us. We don’t need to let that happen.
• ADAPT. If we fail to adapt to the unfairness of life, it can break us. We can become so disillusioned by it that we give up. But don’t give up because life is unfair — adapt to it and use it as a springboard for change.

Many of the world’s great changes were brought about because someone sensed an unfairness. And they began to work toward a change. A change that in some specific way eliminated the unfairness that had earlier prevailed. Life isn’t fair. Get over it or get frustrated. It’s your choice.

Still not sure how to deal with the unfairness of life? Talking to someone can really help you to handle whatever life throws at you. It’s a great way to get your thoughts and your worries out of your head so you can work through them.

Speak to a therapist about it. Why? Because they are trained to help people in situations like yours. They can help you to accept whatever has happened and then work through the emotional and practical aspects of the situation.

BetterHelp.com is a website where you can connect with a therapist via phone, video, or instant message.

While you may try to work through this yourself, it may be a bigger issue than self-help can address. And if it is affecting your mental well-being, relationships, or life in general, it is a significant thing that needs to be resolved.

Too many people try to muddle through and do their best to overcome issues that they never really get to grips with. If it’s at all possible in your circumstances, therapy is 100% the best way forward.

Here’s that link again if you’d like to learn more about the service BetterHelp.com provide and the process of getting started.

You’ve already taken the first step just by searching for and reading this article. The worst thing you can do right now is nothing. The best thing is to speak to a therapist. The next best thing is to implement everything you’ve learned in this article by yourself. The choice is yours.

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About The Author

I was born and raised in northern Virginia near Washington, D.C. My dream as a child was to play professional baseball. I made it as far as a baseball scholarship to a Division 1 college. I’m a teacher at heart, and love to teach anything and anybody who wants to learn. I started out as a public school teacher. But within a few years, felt called to the ministry, where I spent 32 years as a pastor. I love the outdoors. I love to read. I love people. I love to learn. I try to take a long walk every day year-round. I’ve done that for more than 40 years. It’s where I do some of my best thinking. It also clears the cobwebs from my head and the nonsense that tries to take root there. My blog is Quotation Celebration , where I discuss the meaning and lessons contained within great quotes.

• Why is Life Unfair?

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Isn’t it interesting how we define fairness in life? We see life as being fair only when it works out the way we think it should–with our best interests in mind. But we often don’t consider how God has defined our best interests in the moment. Rather than writing Him off when things don’t go our way, maybe we need to listen for what good thing He’s up to that we just don’t understand yet.

This tutorial shows how to get started with these lessons.

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November 24, 2014

The problem isn’t that life is unfair – it’s your broken idea of fairness

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Unless you’re winning, most of life will seem hideously unfair to you.

The truth is, life is just playing by different rules.

The real rules are there. They actually make sense. But they’re a bit more complicated, and a lot less comfortable, which is why most people never manage to learn them.

Rule #1: Life is a competition

That business you work for? Someone’s trying to kill it. That job you like? Someone would love to replace you with a computer program. That girlfriend / boyfriend / high-paying job / Nobel Prize that you want? So does somebody else.

We’re all in competition, although we prefer not to realise it. Most achievements are only notable relative to others. You swam more miles, or can dance better, or got more Facebook Likes than the average. Well done.

It’s a painful thing to believe, of course, which is why we’re constantly assuring each other the opposite. “Just do your best”, we hear. “You’re only in competition with yourself”. The funny thing about platitudes like that is they’re designed to make you try harder anyway . If competition really didn’t matter, we’d tell struggling children to just give up.

Fortunately, we don’t live in a world where everyone has to kill each other to prosper. The blessing of modern civilisation is there’s abundant opportunities, and enough for us all to get by, even if we don’t compete directly.

But never fall for the collective delusion that there’s not a competition going on. People dress up to win partners. They interview to win jobs. If you deny that competition exists, you’re just losing. Everything in demand is on a competitive scale. And the best is only available to those who are willing to truly fight for it.

Rule #2. You’re judged by what you do, not what you think

Society judges people by what they can do for others . Can you save children from a burning house, or remove a tumour, or make a room of strangers laugh? You’ve got value right there.

That’s not how we judge ourselves though. We judge ourselves by our thoughts .

“I’m a good person”. “I’m ambitious”. “I’m better than this.” These idle impulses may comfort us at night, but they’re not how the world sees us. They’re not even how we see other people.

Well-meaning intentions don’t matter. An internal sense of honour and love and duty count for squat. What exactly can you and have you done for the world?

Abilities are not prized by their virtue. Whatever admiration society awards us, comes from the selfish perspectives of others. A hard working janitor is less rewarded by society than a ruthless stockbroker. A cancer researcher is rewarded less than a supermodel. Why? Because those abilities are rarer and impact more people.

We like to like to think that society rewards those who do the best work. Like so:

But in reality, social reward is just a network effect. Reward comes down mostly to the number of people you impact :

Write an unpublished book, you’re nobody. Write Harry Potter and the world wants to know you. Save a life, you’re a small-town hero, but cure cancer and you’re a legend. Unfortunately, the same rule applies to all talents, even unsavoury ones: get naked for one person and you might just make them smile, get naked for fifty million people and you might just be Kim Kardashian.

You may hate this. It may make you sick. Reality doesn’t care. You’re judged by what you have the ability to do, and the volume of people you can impact. If you don’t accept this, then the judgement of the world will seem very unfair indeed.

Rule #3. Our idea of fairness is self interest

People like to invent moral authority. It’s why we have referees in sports games and judges in courtrooms: we have an innate sense of right and wrong, and we expect the world to comply. Our parents tell us this. Our teachers teach us this. Be a good boy, and have some candy.

But reality is indifferent. You studied hard, but you failed the exam. You worked hard, but you didn’t get promoted. You love her, but she won’t return your calls.

The problem isn’t that life is unfair; it’s your broken idea of fairness.

Take a proper look at that person you fancy but didn’t fancy you back. That’s a complete person . A person with years of experience being someone completely different to you. A real person who interacts with hundreds or thousands of other people every year.

Now what are the odds that among all that, you’re automatically their first pick for love-of-their-life? Because – what – you exist? Because you feel something for them? That might matter to you , but their decision is not about you .

Similarly we love to hate our bosses and parents and politicians. Their judgements are unfair. And stupid. Because they don’t agree with me! And they should! Because I am unquestionably the greatest authority on everything ever in the whole world!

It’s true there are some truly awful authority figures. But they’re not all evil, self-serving monsters trying to line their own pockets and savour your misery. Most are just trying to do their best, under different circumstances to your own.

Maybe they know things you don’t – like, say, your company will go bust if they don’t do something unpopular. Maybe they have different priorities to you – like, say, long term growth over short term happiness.

But however they make you feel , the actions of others are not some cosmic judgement on your being. They’re just a byproduct of being alive.

Why life isn’t fair

Our idea of fairness isn’t actually obtainable. It’s really just a cloak for wishful thinking.

Can you imagine how insane life would be if it actually was ‘fair’ to everyone? No-one could fancy anyone who wasn’t the love of their life, for fear of breaking a heart. Companies would only fail if everyone who worked for them was evil. Relationships would only end when both partners died simultaneously. Raindrops would only fall on bad people.

Most of us get so hung up on how we think the world should work that we can’t see how it does. But facing that reality might just be the key to unlocking your understanding of the world, and with it, all of your potential.

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How to Deal with Life Being Unfair

Last Updated: January 29, 2023 References

This article was co-authored by Michael Stern . Michael Stern is a life coach and the owner of Integral Alignment, a coaching and training business focused on a holistic approach to optimizing one's health, work, love, play, and spirituality. Michael began his professional training in 2011 as an Integral Spiritual Mentor through One Spirit Learning Alliance, and has been certified as both a hatha yoga instructor and an Emotional Intelligence Coach through GolemanEI. In addition to his private 1:1 and groupwork, he has hosted workshops with thought leaders such as Frederic Laloux, Charles Eisenstein, and Thomas Hübl. Michael holds a BA in Spanish Language from Vanderbilt University and lives in Portland, Maine. There are 13 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been viewed 42,508 times.

Sometimes life is unfair. Assessing the cause of life’s unfair moments is the first step in dealing with life being unfair. Figuring out what you do and do not have control over, changing things that are within your power, and accepting those things you cannot change will help you move forward and realize that unfairness is unfortunately something everyone experiences.

Assessing the Situation

• Try sitting down and making a list of all possible causes of why life is unfair at this particular moment in time.

• Try making a list of all the causes of unfairness in a situation. Make a star beside each item that you do have control over.

• Consider your sense that you are in control of your life. If you tend to feel like you have little control, then you may need to work on developing a stronger sense of control.

Taking Action

• Building your confidence .
• Developing your resilience .
• Setting goals for yourself .
• Improving your problem solving skills .

• To find a counselor, first call your insurance company and find out what providers are covered by your insurance.
• Call at least three counselors who accept your insurance and ask if they are accepting new patients and what types of counseling they specialize in such as cognitive behavioral therapy or grief counseling.
• Set up an initial appointment with a counselor who fits your needs. If it doesn’t seem like a great fit after the first few visits, give someone else a try.

Accepting Unfairness as a Part of Life

• Try to focus on the positives in your life instead of dwelling on the negatives. For example, if you are having a bad day, then you might try to identify three things that have gone well, even if they are little things like having a good breakfast, listening to your favorite song on your way to school or work, or having the luxury of some quiet time to read before bed.

• Try sitting down with a journal and writing about the unfair situation in your life, why it is so awful, and what positive things you might gain from the situation.
• Ask a friend or family member to help you come up with new, more positive ways to think about the unfair situation. They might have ideas you wouldn’t think of on your own.

Expert Q&A

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• ↑ Michael Stern. Life Coach. Expert Interview. 8 July 2020.
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolution-the-self/201104/when-lifes-unfair-how-deal-fines-being-alive
• ↑ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/how-to-cope-with-the-fact-life-is-unfair-0107154
• ↑ http://www.oprah.com/spirit/When-Life-Seems-Unfair
• ↑ http://changingminds.org/explanations/preferences/locus_control.htm
• ↑ https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newCDV_90.htm
• ↑ http://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-deal-with-unfairness-and-change-the-things-you-can/
• ↑ http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/find-support-groups
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/freudian-sip/201102/how-find-the-best-therapist-you
• ↑ http://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/buildingselfesteem/2012/11/5-ways-to-escape-your-victim-mentality/
• ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/chiyoko-osborne-/when-life-is-unfair-feed-_b_5539448.html
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/happiness-purpose/201411/happiness-life-3-practice-gratitude

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Essay on Being Treated Unfairly

Students are often asked to write an essay on Being Treated Unfairly in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Being Treated Unfairly

Understanding unfair treatment.

Unfair treatment is when someone is not given the same chances as others. It can be because of their age, race, or gender. This can happen at school, at work or even at home. It can make a person feel sad, angry or left out.

Effects of Unfair Treatment

Unfair treatment can hurt a person’s feelings. It can make them feel bad about themselves. They may lose confidence or feel like they don’t belong. It can also make it hard for them to trust others or make friends.

Standing Against Unfair Treatment

If you see someone being treated unfairly, you should stand up for them. You can tell a teacher or another adult. You can also talk to the person who is being unfair. It’s important to treat everyone equally.

Unfair treatment is wrong. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and kindness. We should always try to treat others how we want to be treated. If we all do this, the world will be a better place.

250 Words Essay on Being Treated Unfairly

Introduction.

Being treated unfairly is when someone is not given the same chances or rights as others. It can happen anywhere, like at school, work, or home. It can be because of your looks, beliefs, or where you come from. It can make you feel sad, angry, or even scared.

The Feeling of Unfairness

When you are treated unfairly, you might feel like you are not important. You may think that others don’t respect you. It can make you feel alone and upset. You might even start to believe that you deserve to be treated this way. But remember, everyone should be treated equally and with kindness.

Being treated unfairly can make you lose confidence. You might not want to try new things or meet new people. You might also become unhappy and not want to go to school or work. It can even affect your health, making you feel tired or sick.

Standing Up for Yourself

If you are treated unfairly, it’s important to stand up for yourself. You can tell the person that their actions are not okay. You can also ask for help from a teacher, parent, or friend. Remember, it’s not your fault, and you have the right to be treated fairly.

In conclusion, being treated unfairly can hurt a lot. But it’s important to remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. If you face unfair treatment, stand up for yourself and ask for help. Everyone deserves to be treated fairly, no matter who they are or where they come from.

500 Words Essay on Being Treated Unfairly

Being treated unfairly is something no one likes. In simple words, it means not getting the same chances or respect as others. This can happen anywhere – at home, at school, or even in public places. Sometimes, it can be because of our age, gender, race, or even how we look. It’s important to understand what being treated unfairly means, how it affects us, and what we can do about it.

Unfair treatment is when someone is not given the same chances as others without a good reason. For example, if two students work equally hard on a project, but one gets a better grade just because the teacher likes them more, that’s unfair. This can make the other student feel sad, angry, and confused.

Being treated unfairly can hurt a lot. It can make us feel like we’re not good enough or that something is wrong with us. This can lead to low self-esteem, which is when we start thinking badly about ourselves. It can also make us feel lonely, as if no one understands or cares about us. In the long term, this can lead to problems like stress, anxiety, and even depression.

Why Unfair Treatment Happens

Sometimes, people treat others unfairly without even realizing it. They might have grown up in a place where everyone thought it was okay to treat people differently based on their race, gender, or age. They might not even know that it’s wrong. Other times, people are just mean and want to make others feel bad.

What We Can Do

When we are treated unfairly, it’s important to stand up for ourselves in a respectful way. We can tell the person that we don’t like how they’re treating us and ask them to stop. If they don’t listen, we can ask a trusted adult for help.

We can also try to understand why the person is treating us unfairly. Maybe they’re having a bad day, or maybe they’re upset about something else. This doesn’t make it okay, but it can help us not take it personally.

Being treated unfairly is hard, but it’s important to remember that it’s not our fault. We all deserve to be treated with kindness and respect, no matter who we are or where we come from. If we all stand up against unfair treatment, we can make the world a fairer place for everyone.

That’s it! I hope the essay helped you.

If you’re looking for more, here are essays on other interesting topics:

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How to Deal With Unfairness

Override your gut reactions before you make matters worse..

Posted August 17, 2011 | Reviewed by Ekua Hagan

Have you ever had a knee-jerk reaction to someone who cuts in front of you on the road (or should I say a mouth or finger-jerk reaction)? Have you glared at the person in front of you in the express lane at the grocery store who has too many items? Or have you fantasized about gluing the mouth shut of the person who interrupts you while you are talking and he doesn't let you finish?

Do other people's behaviors send you into a rage or cause you to feel so frustrated you shut down?

This is standard human behavior under the influence of unfairness.

When we feel something is unfair, we respond as if it were a threat and go into "fight or flight" mode. Or as Laura Cousino Klein, Ph.D. said about women in the famous study she led on women, stress , and friendship , we go into fight, flight, or call-a-friend-and-complain mode.

Many neuroscientists are using brain scans to study moral decision making . They have found that basic, primary reactions occur when your brain determines a situation is "just not fair" — demonstrating that your reactions are instinctually, not logically driven.

Steven Quartz from CalTech said , "The fact that the brain has such a robust response to unfairness suggests that sensing unfairness is a basic evolved capacity."

How does this play out? The moment your brain determines someone is not playing by the rules, your abilities to deliberate, weigh all sides of an issue and make thoughtful decisions are impaired.

Additionally, when you feel cheated your emotional system immediately prods you to say "no" to the offenders without thinking through your response and the consequences of your reaction. You can see this play out daily in our political system.

The Problem: Not everyone plays by the same set of rules. Cultural and religious background, family upbringing, education and life experiences all combine to help you form a mental frame called, "the world according to me." Other than legal and safety issues, these rules are often based on personal bias and opinions of what you think is right and wrong. You then act as if these rules are cast in stone when they actually differ from one person to the next.

The Result: You make snap decisions and emotionally react, then rationalize and justify your response using your logical brain.

The world is full of smart people who litter, plot against co-workers, scream at politicians at town hall meetings and give unaware grocery clerks the evil eye as they deal with what they believe is unfair.

1. Try to become aware of what your brain is doing. When you feel something is unfair or disrespectful of your rights, catch yourself reacting in anger or frustration. Then take a breath before you say or do anything to make the situation worse.

2. Determine if your loss is real or not. Is the rule you think was broken that important, really? Did the person who offended you take anything away from you other than a few minutes of your time? Was the action you resent a conscious offense or could the person have acted without realizing the impact on you? Did you lose your self-respect or respect from others? If the loss is not real or too small to bother with, choose to relax and let go. Then focus on something more interesting.

On the other hand, if the person who interrupted you is being intentionally rude or the person in the grocery store needs help finding the right lane, you might choose to let the person know the impact of their behavior and what would be a better choice they could make in the future. Screaming, sarcasm, or grunting creates conflict; it doesn't solve anything. If the loss is real, stand up for yourself by explaining the Impact and Desired Change of Behavior . Hopefully, this will start a useful dialogue.

3. Sometimes it is better to choose to be healthy instead of right. You decide where to put your most precious resource-your energy. Let go of what you cannot control.

In the end, one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself is to learn to quickly discern when it is time to let go from when it is time to react. There are times you need to stand up to what is unfair. There are times to move on.

This takes practice. Don't beat yourself up for having an emotional reaction. Your brain is doing what it is supposed to do-protect you. Instead, recognize when you are having an emotional reaction, take a breath and choose how you best want to respond.

It's time we take charge of our primitive brains, bringing more peace to our lives and to our world.

Marcia Reynolds, Psy.D. is the author of Wander Woman: How High-Achieving Women Find Contentment and Direction.

Marcia Reynolds, Psy.D. , is the author of three leadership books, Coach the Person, Not the Problem, The Discomfort Zone, and Wander Woman . She is the president of Covisioning, teaching transformational coaching skills to coaches and leaders worldwide.

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Turmoil at NPR after editor rips network for political bias

The public radio network is being targeted by conservative activists over the editor’s essay, which many staffers say is misleading and inaccurate.

Uri Berliner had worked at NPR for a quarter-century when he wrote the essay that would abruptly end his tenure. On April 9, the Free Press published 3,500 words from Berliner, a senior business editor, about how the public radio network is guilty of journalistic malpractice — for conforming to a politically liberal worldview at the expense of fairness and accuracy.

“It’s true NPR has always had a liberal bent, but during most of my tenure here, an open-minded, curious culture prevailed,” Berliner wrote. “We were nerdy, but not knee-jerk, activist, or scolding. In recent years, however, that has changed.”

The essay, whose arguments were disputed by NPR management and many staffers, plunged the network into a week-long public controversy.

Last week NPR’s new CEO, Katherine Maher, indirectly referenced Berliner’s essay in a note to staff that NPR also published online. “Asking a question about whether we’re living up to our mission should always be fair game: after all, journalism is nothing if not hard questions,” she wrote. “Questioning whether our people are serving our mission with integrity, based on little more than the recognition of their identity, is profoundly disrespectful, hurtful, and demeaning.”

The drama reached a pinnacle Wednesday, when Berliner resigned while taking a shot at Maher.

In his resignation letter, Berliner called NPR “a great American institution” that should not be defunded. “I respect the integrity of my colleagues and wish for NPR to thrive and do important journalism,” he wrote in the letter, posted on his X account. “But I cannot work in a newsroom where I am disparaged by a new CEO whose divisive views confirm the very problems I cite in my Free Press essay.”

Berliner’s comments have angered many of his now-former colleagues, who dismissed as inaccurate his depiction of their workplace and who say his faulty criticisms have been weaponized against them.

Berliner’s essay is titled “ I’ve Been at NPR for 25 Years. Here’s How We Lost America’s Trust .” On its face, it seemed to confirm the worst suspicions held by NPR’s critics on the right: that the legendary media organization had an ideological, progressive agenda that dictates its journalism. The Free Press is an online publication started by journalist Bari Weiss, whose own resignation from the New York Times in 2020 was used by conservative politicians as evidence that the Times stifled certain ideas and ideologies; Weiss accused the Times of catering to a rigid, politically left-leaning worldview and of refusing to defend her against online “bullies” when she expressed views to the contrary. Berliner’s essay was accompanied by several glossy portraits and a nearly hour-long podcast interview with Weiss. He also went on NewsNation, where the host Chris Cuomo — who had been cast out from CNN for crossing ethical lines to help his governor-brother — called Berliner a “whistleblower.”

Initially, Berliner was suspended for not getting approval for doing work for another publication. NPR policy requires receiving written permission from supervisors “for all outside freelance and journalistic work,” according to the employee handbook.

An NPR spokeswoman said Wednesday that the network does not comment on personnel matters. Berliner declined The Washington Post’s request for further comment.

In an interview Tuesday with NPR’s David Folkenflik — whose work is also criticized in the Free Press essay — Berliner said “we have great journalists here. If they shed their opinions and did the great journalism they’re capable of, this would be a much more interesting and fulfilling organization for our listeners.”

Berliner’s future at NPR became an open question. NPR leaders were pressed by staff in meetings this week as to why he was still employed there. And some reporters made clear they didn’t want to be edited by Berliner anymore because they now questioned his journalistic judgment, said one prominent NPR journalist, who spoke on the condition of anonymity to preserve relationships. “How are you supposed to have honest debates about coverage if you think it’s going to be fodder for the point he’s trying to make?” the staffer said.

Berliner had written that “there’s an unspoken consensus” about stories to pursue at NPR — “of supposed racism, transphobia, signs of the climate apocalypse, Israel doing something bad, and the dire threat of Republican policies” — and that the network operated without friction, “almost like an assembly line.”

Several prominent NPR journalists countered that impression. “We have strong, heated editorial debates every day to try and get the most appropriate language and nuanced reporting in a landscape that is divisive and difficult to work in as a journalist,” Leila Fadel, host of “Morning Edition,” told The Post. “Media and free independent press are often under attack for the fact-based reporting that we do.” She called Berliner’s essay “a bad-faith effort” and a “factually inaccurate take on our work that was filled with omissions to back his arguments.”

Other staffers noted that Berliner did not seek comment from NPR for his piece. No news organization is above reproach, “Weekend Edition” host Ayesha Rascoe told The Post, but someone should not “be able to tear down an entire organization’s work without any sort of response or context provided, or pushback.” There are many legitimate critiques to make of NPR’s coverage, she added, “but the way this has been done — it’s to invalidate all the work NPR does.”

NPR is known to have a very collegial culture, and the manner in which Berliner aired his criticism — perhaps even more than the substance of it — is what upset so many of his co-workers, according to one staffer.

“Morning Edition” host Steve Inskeep, writing on his Substack on Tuesday , fact-checked or contextualized several of the arguments Berliner made. For instance: Berliner wrote that he once asked “why we keep using that word that many Hispanics hate — Latinx.” Inskeep said he searched 90 days of NPR’s content and found “Latinx” was used nine times — “usually by a guest” — compared to the nearly 400 times “Latina” and “Latino” were used.

“This article needed a better editor,” Inskeep wrote. “I don’t know who, if anyone, edited Uri’s story, but they let him publish an article that discredited itself. … A careful read of the article shows many sweeping statements for which the writer is unable to offer evidence.”

This week conservative activist Christopher Rufo — who rose to fame for targeting “critical race theory,” and whose scrutiny of Harvard President Claudine Gay preceded her resignation — set his sights on Maher, surfacing old social media posts she wrote before she joined the news organization. In one 2020 tweet, she referred to Trump as a “deranged racist.” Others posts show her wearing a Biden hat, or wistfully daydreaming about hanging out with Kamala D. Harris. Rufo has called for Maher’s resignation.

“In America everyone is entitled to free speech as a private citizen,” Maher wrote in a statement to The Post, when asked about the social media posts. “What matters is NPR’s work and my commitment as its CEO: public service, editorial independence, and the mission to serve all of the American public.”

Maher, who started her job as NPR CEO last month, previously was the head of the Wikimedia Foundation, the nonprofit that operates the online encyclopedia Wikipedia. An NPR spokesperson said in a statement Tuesday that Maher “was not working in journalism at the time” of the social media posts; she was “exercising her first amendment right to express herself like any other American citizen,” and “the CEO is not involved in editorial decisions.”

In a statement, an NPR spokesperson described the outcry over Maher’s old posts as “a bad faith attack that follows an established playbook, as online actors with explicit agendas work to discredit independent news organizations.”

Meanwhile, some NPR staffers want a more forceful defense of NPR journalism by management. An internal letter — signed by about 50 NPR staffers as of Wednesday afternoon — called on Maher and NPR editor in chief Edith Chapin to “publicly and directly” call out Berliner’s “factual inaccuracies and elisions.”

In the essay, Berliner accuses NPR of mishandling three major stories: the allegations of the 2016 Trump campaign’s collusion with Russia, the origins of the coronavirus , and the authenticity and relevance of Hunter Biden’s laptop. Berliner’s critics note that he didn’t oversee coverage of these stories. They also say that his essay indirectly maligns employee affinity groups — he name-checks groups for Muslim, Jewish, queer and Black employees, which he wrote “reflect broader movement in the culture of people clustering together based on ideology or a characteristic at birth.” (Berliner belonged to the group for Jewish employees, according to an NPR staffer with knowledge of membership.) He also writes that he found NPR’s D.C. newsroom employed 87 registered Democrats and zero Republicans in editorial positions in 2021. His critics say this figure lacks proper context.

Tony Cavin, NPR’s managing editor of standards and practices, told The Post that “I have no idea where he got that number,” that NPR’s newsroom has 660 employees, and that “I know a number of our hosts and staff are registered as independents.” That includes Inskeep, who, on his Substack, backed up Cavin’s assessment.

Berliner also wrote that, during the administration of Donald Trump , NPR “hitched our wagon” to top Trump antagonist Rep. Adam Schiff (D-Calif.) by interviewing him 25 times about Trump and Russia. Cavin told The Post NPR aired 900 interviews with lawmakers during the same period of time, “so that’s 3 percent. He’s a business reporter, he knows about statistics and it seems he’s selectively using statistics.”

Cavin said some inside the organization agree with points Berliner made, even if they “don’t like the way he went about it. The irony of this is it tells you how diverse as an organization we are, in ideological terms.”

“There are a few bits of truth in this,” NPR international correspondent Eyder Peralta wrote on Facebook. But he said the essay “uses a selecting reading to serve the author’s own world views” and paints with “too broad a brush.”

“I have covered wars, I have been thrown in jail for my work,” Peralta told The Post, “and for him to question part of what is in our nature, which is intellectual curiosity and that we follow our noses where they lead us, that hurts. And I think that damages NPR.”

Some staffers have also been attacked online since the essay’s publication. Rascoe, who, as a Black woman host for NPR, says she’s no stranger to online vitriol, but one message after Berliner’s essay labeled her as a “DEI hire” who has “never read a book in her life.”

“What stung about this one was it came on the basis of a supposed colleague’s op-ed,” whose words were “being used as fodder to attack me,” Rascoe said. “And my concern is not about me, but all the younger journalists who don’t have the platform I have and who will be attacked and their integrity questioned simply on the basis of who they are.”

NPR, like much of the media industry, has struggled in recent years with a declining audience and a tough ad market. NPR laid off 100 workers in 2023, one of its largest layoffs ever , citing fewer sponsorships and a projected $30 million decline in revenue.

Going forward, some staffers worry about the ramifications of Berliner’s essay and the reactions to it. The open letter to Maher and Chapin said that “sending the message that a public essay is the easiest way to make change is setting a bad precedent, regardless of the ideologies being expressed.”

An earlier version of this article included a reference to Uri Berliner's Free Press essay in which Berliner cited voter registration data for editorial employees of NPR's D.C. newsroom. The article has been updated to clarify that this data was from 2021, not the present day.

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Rotary Club hears from Laws of Life essay winners

Published 1:59 pm Wednesday, April 17, 2024

By Ethan Reddish

Members of the Bainbridge Rotary Club met for their weekly meeting at the Kirbo Center on Tuesday. For the day’s program, Dr. Heidi Chambers introduced four Bainbridge High School students who won this year’s Laws of Life Essay Contest, with each student reading their essay to the club.

First to read was 9th grade winner Morgan Rich. Each student’s essay had a maxim that defined it, with Rich’s being, “Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path, and you will find you have crossed the mountain.” Specifically, Rich wrote her essay about her experience and challenges living with a club foot.

Next, 11th grade winner Gurpreet Kaur took to the podium, with the maxim of her essay being, “If you want to fly, give up everything that weighs you down.” Kaur’s essay focused on the stress of failing a childhood spelling bee, and the guidance given by a teacher.

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After Kaur, 12th grade winner Gilberto DeJesus spoke, with his maxim being, “Life is unfair to the ignorant and unprepared, so don’t be the same.” DeJesus wrote about his first experiences as a field worker and what he learned.

Lastly, 10th grade winner and BHS overall winner Evan Brock read his essay, which recounted how he helped an elderly widow clean out her cluttered house. His maxim was, “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in service of others.”

Following the students’ essays, the meeting was adjourned.

Bainbridge High School Band performs in National Cherry Blossom Festival

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Melania Trump Avoids the Courtroom, but Is Said to Share Her Husband’s Anger

Melania Trump has long referred to the hush-money case involving Stormy Daniels as her husband’s problem, not hers. But she has privately called the trial a “disgrace” that could threaten his campaign.

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By Katie Rogers

Katie Rogers is the author of a book on first ladies and covered the Trump White House, including Melania Trump’s East Wing.

In January 2018, when she first saw reports that her husband had paid off a porn star, Melania Trump was furious. She jetted off to Palm Beach, leaving the president to languish in Washington. She eventually returned, only to take a separate car to Donald J. Trump’s first State of the Union address.

As a criminal trial against Mr. Trump opened on Monday , on charges that he had falsified records to cover up that sex scandal involving Stormy Daniels, Mrs. Trump did not appear. She has long privately referred to the case involving Ms. Daniels as “his problem” and not hers.

But Mrs. Trump, the former first lady, shares his view that the trial itself is unfair, according to several people familiar with her thinking.

In private, she has called the proceedings “a disgrace” tantamount to election interference, according to a person with direct knowledge of her comments who could not speak publicly out of fear of jeopardizing a personal relationship with the Trumps.

She may support her husband, but Mrs. Trump is bound to see headlines involving Mr. Trump and Ms. Daniels that could reopen old wounds. On Monday, Justice Juan M. Merchan, the judge presiding over the case, also said that Mrs. Trump could be among the potential witnesses as the trial gets underway.

All of this could put Mr. Trump on shaky ground with his wife, who has defended him in some critical moments — including when he bragged on tape about grabbing women by their genitals — and withheld her public support in others, like when she did not appear alongside him as he locked up victories on Super Tuesday.

“At the end of the day, she can make or break his candidacy,” said Stephanie Grisham, Mrs. Trump’s former press secretary who resigned on Jan. 6, 2021, and went on to write a memoir. “And at the end of the day, she could probably make or break him.”

Some of the more personally damaging details of Mr. Trump’s behavior may not come up in court. On Monday, Justice Merchan barred some testimony related to the timing of a reported affair between Mr. Trump and a former Playboy model, Karen McDougal. The National Enquirer, which has longstanding ties to Mr. Trump, bought the rights to Ms. McDougal’s story for $150,000 and then never published it — a practice known as “catch and kill.”

Jurors may hear about the relationship between Mr. Trump and Ms. McDougal, Justice Merchan ruled — but not accounts that the affair continued while Mrs. Trump was pregnant with their son, Barron. (If the court proceedings bring up Barron, whose privacy his mother fiercely guards, Ms. Grisham said, Mrs. Trump is likely to be “not happy” with her husband “all over again.”)

The trial is nonetheless all but certain to examine a timeline that Mrs. Trump would prefer not to revisit. Mr. Trump and Ms. Daniels met at a 2006 celebrity golf tournament, at a time when the Trumps had been married for a year and Mrs. Trump had recently given birth to Barron.

Mr. Trump has denied having a sexual encounter with Ms. Daniels. But prosecutors say that when Ms. Daniels looked to sell her story a decade later, Mr. Trump directed Michael D. Cohen, then his lawyer and fixer, to pay Ms. Daniels $130,000 to keep quiet. The reports of a payoff blindsided Mrs. Trump, who responded to the initial reports by getting out of town.

She canceled a trip to Davos, Switzerland, with Mr. Trump, made an impromptu visit to the Holocaust Memorial Museum, and then she jetted off to Mar-a-Lago, the Trumps’ beachside fortress in Palm Beach, Fla., where she spent part of her trip relaxing at the spa. She eventually reappeared, only to take a separate car to Mr. Trump’s State of the Union address and appear on the arm of a male military aide.

By now, allies of the Trumps say, Mrs. Trump has lumped the trial into all of the other legal problems her husband faces, and she is steelier than she was before.

Last month, she appeared next to Mr. Trump to welcome Viktor Orban , the prime minister of Hungary, during a visit to Mar-a-Lago. Weeks later, she voted alongside Mr. Trump in Florida, where she responded to a question about whether she would be campaigning more often with a cryptic “stay tuned.”

Supporters have hailed her scheduled appearance at a fund-raising event for the Log Cabin Republicans, a group of L.G.B.T. conservatives, as proof that Mrs. Trump is prepared to be more engaged on the campaign trail.

The event, scheduled for Saturday, will draw attendees who have paid at least $10,000 for a chance to interact with Mrs. Trump, according to a person familiar with the planning who was not authorized to detail it.

The event will be set up like a cocktail reception, and Mrs. Trump is expected to deliver remarks about her time as first lady and reiterate her support for her husband.

But there is one catch: The event will not be held in a battleground state or at any location on a traditional campaign trail. It will be held in a reception room at Mar-a-Lago, steps from Mrs. Trump’s suite.

The Log Cabin Republicans have been a source of income for Mrs. Trump before. According to a financial disclosure last year, Mrs. Trump received a $250,000 payment from the group in December 2022. Charles Moran, a representative of the group, said in an email that Mrs. Trump was not taking a fee from the Log Cabin Republicans for her appearance.

A spokeswoman for Mrs. Trump did not respond to a request for comment for this article, and neither did a representative for the Trump campaign.

Mrs. Trump’s allies say that she will likely appear again as the campaign continues — a sign, they say, that she realizes there is a real chance she could become first lady again — but that she is likely to be selective with her time.

For now, she is focused on Barron’s graduation from high school later this spring and preparing him for college. Mr. Trump complained repeatedly on social media on Monday that he might miss his son’s graduation because of the trial. Barron attends a private school near Mar-a-Lago and is expected to graduate in May.

Mrs. Trump’s allies say other personal issues could keep her from the campaign trail. She is said to still be mourning the death of her mother, Amalija Knavs, who died in January and was one of a small number of people in Mrs. Trump’s world who had her absolute trust. Her sister, Ines Knauss, is another confidante, but Ms. Knauss lives in New York City.

Another person Mrs. Trump trusts is Kellyanne Conway, who served as counselor to Mr. Trump in the White House; Mrs. Trump is pushing for Ms. Conway to return to Mr. Trump’s orbit in a formal capacity, a development first reported by the news site Puck . Ms. Conway, who was a confidante for both Mr. and Mrs. Trump when they were in the White House, has said that Mr. Trump cares deeply about his wife’s opinion — and, in some cases, he might even fear it.

“He listens to many of us,” she told a congressional committee in 2022, “but he reserves fear for one person, Melania Trump.”

Katie Rogers is a White House correspondent. For much of the past decade, she has focused on features about the presidency, the first family, and life in Washington, in addition to covering a range of domestic and foreign policy issues. She is the author of a book on first ladies. More about Katie Rogers

Our Coverage of the Trump Hush-Money Trial

News and Analysis

Our reporter joined “The Daily” to explain what happened during the opening days  of the trial against Donald Trump.

A juror who had been selected for the trial was abruptly excused after she told the judge she was worried about her identity becoming known , demonstrating the challenges of picking a jury in this trial.

Many media outlets — including The New York Times — have used “hush-money trial” to describe the proceedings. But both the prosecutors and defense are trying to frame the case differently .

More on Trump’s Legal Troubles

Key Inquiries: Trump faces several investigations  at both the state and the federal levels, into matters related to his business and political careers.

Case Tracker:  Keep track of the developments in the criminal cases  involving the former president.

What if Trump Is Convicted?: Will any of the proceedings hinder Trump’s presidential campaign? Here is what we know, and what we don’t know .

Trump on Trial Newsletter: Sign up here  to get the latest news and analysis  on the cases in New York, Florida, Georgia and Washington, D.C.