Sample Essays
The breadth of Georgetownâs core curriculum means that students are required to write for a wide variety of academic disciplines. Below, we provide some student samples that exhibit the key features the most popular genres. When reading through these essays, we recommend paying attention to their
1. Structure (How many paragraphs are there? Does the author use headers?)
2. Argument (Is the author pointing out a problem, and/or proposing a solution?)
3. Content (Does the argument principally rely on facts, theory, or logic?) and
4. Style (Does the writer use first person? What is the relationship with the audience?)
Philosophy Paper
- Singer on the Moral Status of Animals
Theology Paper
- Problem of God
- Jewish Civilization
- Sacred Space and Time
- Phenolphthalein in Alkaline Solution
History Paper
- World History
Literature Review
Comparative AnalysisÂ
Policy Brief
- Vaccine Manufacturing
White Paper
Critical Analysis
- Ignatius Seminar
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Extracurriculars.
16 Strong College Essay Examples from Top Schools
Whatâs Covered:
- Common App Essays
- Why This College Essays
- Why This Major Essays
- Extracurricular Essays
- Overcoming Challenges Essays
- Community Service Essays
- Diversity Essays
- Political/Global Issues Essays
- Where to Get Feedback on Your Essays
Most high school students donât get a lot of experience with creative writing, so the college essay can be especially daunting. Reading examples of successful essays, however, can help you understand what admissions officers are looking for.
In this post, weâll share 16 college essay examples of many different topics. Most of the essay prompts fall into 8 different archetypes, and you can approach each prompt under that archetype in a similar way. Weâve grouped these examples by archetype so you can better structure your approach to college essays.
If youâre looking for school-specific guides, check out our 2022-2023 essay breakdowns .
Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isnât genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized.Â
Note: the essays are titled in this post for navigation purposes, but they were not originally titled. We also include the original prompt where possible.
The Common App essay goes to all of the schools on your list, unless those schools use a separate application platform. Because of this, itâs the most important essay in your portfolio, and likely the longest essay youâll need to write (you get up to 650 words).Â
The goal of this essay is to share a glimpse into who you are, what matters to you, and what you hope to achieve. Itâs a chance to share your story.Â
Learn more about how to write the Common App essay in our complete guide.
The Multiple Meanings of Point
Prompt: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. (250-650 words)
Night had robbed the academy of its daytime colors, yet there was comfort in the dim lights that cast shadows of our advances against the bare studio walls. Silhouettes of roundhouse kicks, spin crescent kicks, uppercuts and the occasional butterfly kick danced while we sparred. She approached me, eyes narrowed with the trace of a smirk challenging me. âReady spar!â Her arm began an upward trajectory targeting my shoulder, a common first move. I sidestepped â only to almost collide with another flying fist. Pivoting my right foot, I snapped my left leg, aiming my heel at her midsection. The center judge raised one finger.Â
There was no time to celebrate, not in the traditional sense at least. Master Pollard gave a brief command greeted with a unanimous âYes, sirâ and the thud of 20 hands dropping-down-and-giving-him-30, while the âwinnersâ celebrated their victory with laps as usual.Â
Three years ago, seven-thirty in the evening meant I was a warrior. It meant standing up straighter, pushing a little harder, âYes, sirâ and âYes, maâamâ, celebrating birthdays by breaking boards, never pointing your toes, and familiarity. Three years later, seven-thirty in the morning meant I was nervous.Â
The room is uncomfortably large. The sprung floor soaks up the checkerboard of sunlight piercing through the colonial windows. The mirrored walls further illuminate the studio and I feel the light scrutinizing my sorry attempts at a pas de bourrĂ©e, while capturing the organic fluidity of the dancers around me. âChassĂ© en croix, grand battement, pique, pirouette.â I follow the graceful limbs of the woman in front of me, her legs floating ribbons, as she executes what seems to be a perfect ronds de jambes. Each movement remains a negotiation. With admirable patience, Ms. Tan casts me a sympathetic glance.  Â
There is no time to wallow in the misery that is my right foot. Taekwondo calls for dorsiflexion; pointed toes are synonymous with broken toes. My thoughts drag me into a flashback of the usual response to this painful mistake: âYou might as well grab a tutu and head to the ballet studio next door.â Well, here I am Master Pollard, unfortunately still following your orders to never point my toes, but no longer feeling the satisfaction that comes with being a third degree black belt with 5 years of experience quite literally under her belt. Itâs like being a white belt again â just in a leotard and ballet slippers.Â
But the appetite for new beginnings that brought me here doesnât falter. It is only reinforced by the classical rendition of âDancing Queenâ that floods the room and the ghost of familiarity that reassures me that this new beginning does not and will not erase the past. After years spent at the top, itâs hard to start over. But surrendering what you are only leads you to what you may become. In Taekwondo, we started each class reciting the tenets: honor, courtesy, integrity, perseverance, self-control, courage, humility, and knowledge, and I have never felt that I embodied those traits more so than when I started ballet.Â
The thing about change is that it eventually stops making things so different. After nine different schools, four different countries, three different continents, fluency in Tamil, Norwegian, and English, there are more blurred lines than there are clear fragments. My life has not been a tactfully executed, gold medal-worthy Taekwondo form with each movement defined, nor has it been a series of frappĂ©s performed by a prima ballerina with each extension identical and precise, but thankfully it has been like the dynamics of a spinning back kick, fluid, and like my chances of landing a pirouette, unpredictable.Â
The first obvious strength of this essay is the introductionâit is interesting and snappy and uses enough technical language that we want to figure out what the student is discussing. When writing introductions, students tend to walk the line between intriguing and confusing. It is important that your essay ends up on the intentionally intriguing side of that lineâlike this student does! We are a little confused at first, but by then introducing the idea of âsparring,â the student grounds their essay.
People often advise young writers to âshow, not tell.â This student takes that advice a step further and makes the reader do a bit of work to figure out what they are telling us. Nowhere in this essay does it say âAfter years of Taekwondo, I made the difficult decision to switch over to ballet.â Rather, the student says âItâs like being a white belt again â just in a leotard and ballet slippers.â How powerful!Â
After a lot of emotional language and imagery, this student finishes off their essay with very valuable (and necessary!) reflection. They show admissions officers that they are more than just a good writerâthey are a mature and self-aware individual who would be beneficial to a college campus. Self-awareness comes through with statements like âsurrendering what you are only leads you to what you may becomeâ and maturity can be seen through the studentâs discussion of values: âhonor, courtesy, integrity, perseverance, self-control, courage, humility, and knowledge, and I have never felt that I embodied those traits more so than when I started ballet.â
Sparking Self-Awareness
Prompt: The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? (250-650 words)
Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug sprayâI wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire.Â
Furiously I rubbed the twigs togetherârubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teethâold, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family.Â
Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt.Â
âWhereâs the fire, Princess Clara?â they taunted. âHaving some trouble?â They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame.Â
In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since Iâd kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, Iâd practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musicianâfleshy and sensitive. And Iâd gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldnât remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformationâhe disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him.Â
Yet, I realized I hadnât really changedâI had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. Iâd grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses.Â
That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumpedâit helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldnât start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smokedâmy hands burned from all that scrawlingâand even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparkingâI was on fire, always on fire.
First things first, this Common App essay is well-written. This student is definitely showing the admissions officers her ability to articulate her points beautifully and creatively. It starts with vivid images like that of the ârustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free.â And because the prose is flowery (and beautiful!), the writer can get away with metaphors like âI knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palmsâ that might sound cheesy without the clear command of the English language that the writer quickly establishes.
In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction âFire!â and ends with the following image: âWhen the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smokedâmy hands burned from all that scrawlingâand even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparkingâI was on fire, always on fire.â This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.
While dialogue often comes off as cliche or trite, this student effectively incorporates her family members saying âWhereâs the fire, Princess Clara?â This is achieved through the apt use of the verb âtauntedâ to characterize the questioning and through the questionâs thematic connection to the earlier image of the student as a rustic princess. Similarly, rhetorical questions can feel randomly placed in essays, but this studentâs inclusion of the questions âWas I so dainty?â and âWas I that incapable?â feel perfectly justified after she establishes that she was pondering her failure.
Quite simply, this essay shows how quality writing can make a simple story outstandingly compelling.Â
Why This College?
âWhy This College?â is one of the most common essay prompts, likely because schools want to understand whether youâd be a good fit and how youâd use their resources.
This essay is one of the more straightforward ones youâll write for college applications, but you still can and should allow your voice to shine through.
Learn more about how to write the âWhy This College?â essay in our guide.
Prompt: How will you explore your intellectual and academic interests at the University of Pennsylvania? Please answer this question given the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying (650 words).
Sister Simone Roach, a theorist of nursing ethics, said, âcaring is the human mode of being.â I have long been inspired by Sister Roachâs Five Câs of Caring: commitment, conscience, competence, compassion, and confidence. Penn both embraces and fosters these values through a rigorous, interdisciplinary curriculum and unmatched access to service and volunteer opportunities.
COMMITMENT. Reading through the activities that Penn Quakers devote their time to (in addition to academics!) felt like drinking from a firehose in the best possible way. As a prospective nursing student with interests outside of my major, I value this level of flexibility. I plan to leverage Pennâs liberal arts curriculum to gain an in-depth understanding of the challenges LGBT people face, especially regarding healthcare access. Through courses like âInteractional Processes with LGBT Individualsâ and volunteering at the Mazzoni Center for outreach, I hope to learn how to better support the Penn LGBT community as well as my family and friends, including my cousin, who came out as trans last year.
CONSCIENCE. As one of the first people in my family to attend a four-year university, I wanted a school that promoted a sense of moral responsibility among its students. At Penn, professors challenge their students to question and recreate their own set of morals by sparking thought- provoking, open-minded discussions. I can imagine myself advocating for universal healthcare in courses such as âHealth Care Reform & Future of American Health Systemâ and debating its merits with my peers. Studying in an environment where students confidently voice their opinions â conservative or liberal â will push me to question and strengthen my value system.
COMPETENCE. Two aspects that drew my attention to Pennâs BSN program were its high-quality research opportunities and hands-on nursing projects. Through its Office of Nursing Research, Penn connects students to faculty members who share similar research interests. As I volunteered at a nursing home in high school, I hope to work with Dr. Carthon to improve the quality of care for senior citizens. Seniors, especially minorities, face serious barriers to healthcare that I want to resolve. Additionally, Pennâs unique use of simulations to bridge the gap between classroom learning and real-world application impressed me. Using computerized manikins that mimic human responses, classes in Pennâs nursing program allow students to apply their emergency medical skills in a mass casualty simulation and monitor their actions afterward through a video system. Participating in this activity will help me identify my strengths and areas for improvement regarding crisis management and medical care in a controlled yet realistic setting. Research opportunities and simulations will develop my skills even before I interact with patients.
COMPASSION. I value giving back through community service, and I have a particular interest in Pennâs Community Champions and Nursing Students For Sexual & Reproductive Health (NSRH). As a four-year volunteer health educator, I hope to continue this work as a Community Champions member. I am excited to collaborate with medical students to teach fourth and fifth graders in the city about cardiology or lead a chair dance class for the elders at the LIFE Center. Furthermore, as a feminist who firmly believes in womenâs abortion rights, Iâd like to join NSRH in order to advocate for womenâs health on campus. At Penn, I can work with like-minded people to make a meaningful difference.
CONFIDENCE. All of the Quakers that I have met possess one defining trait: confidence. Each student summarized their experiences at Penn as challenging but fulfilling. Although I expect my coursework to push me, from my conversations with current Quakers I know it will help me to be far more effective in my career.
The Five Câs of Caring are important heuristics for nursing, but they also provide insight into how I want to approach my time in college. I am eager to engage with these principles both as a nurse and as a Penn Quaker, and I canât wait to start.
This prompt from Penn asks students to tailor their answer to their specific field of study. One great thing that this student does is identify their undergraduate school early, by mentioning âSister Simone Roach, a theorist of nursing ethics.â You donât want readers confused or searching through other parts of your application to figure out your major.
With a longer essay like this, it is important to establish structure. Some students organize their essay in a narrative form, using an anecdote from their past or predicting their future at a school. This student uses Roachâs 5 Câs of Caring as a framing device that organizes their essay around values. This works well!
While this essay occasionally loses voice, there are distinct moments where the studentâs personality shines through. We see this with phrases like âfelt like drinking from a fire hose in the best possible wayâ and âAll of the Quakers that I have met possess one defining trait: confidence.â It is important to show off your personality to make your essay stand out.Â
Finally, this student does a great job of referencing specific resources about Penn. Itâs clear that they have done their research (theyâve even talked to current Quakers). They have dreams and ambitions that can only exist at Penn.
Prompt: What is it about Yale that has led you to apply? (125 words or fewer)
Coin collector and swimmer. Hungarian and Romanian. Critical and creative thinker. I was drawn to Yale because they donât limit oneâs mind with âorâ but rather embrace unison with âand.âÂ
Wandering through the Beinecke Library, I prepare for my multidisciplinary Energy Studies capstone about the correlation between hedonism and climate change, making it my goal to find implications in environmental sociology. Under the tutelage of Assistant Professor Arielle Baskin-Sommers, I explore the emotional deficits of depression, utilizing neuroimaging to scrutinize my favorite branch of psychology: human perception. At Walden Peer Counseling, I integrate my peer support and active listening skills to foster an empathetic environment for the Yale community. Combining my interests in psychological and environmental studies is why Iâm proud to be a Bulldog.Â
This answer to the âWhy This Collegeâ question is great because 1) the student shows their excitement about attending Yale 2) we learn the ways in which attending Yale will help them achieve their goals and 3) we learn their interests and identities.
In this response, you can find a prime example of the âImage of the Futureâ approach, as the student flashes forward and envisions their life at Yale, using present tense (âI explore,â âI integrate,â âIâm proudâ). This approach is valuable if you are trying to emphasize your dedication to a specific school. Readers get the feeling that this student is constantly imagining themselves on campusâit feels like Yale really matters to them.
Starting this image with the Beinecke Library is great because the Beinecke Library only exists at Yale. It is important to tailor âWhy This Collegeâ responses to each specific school. This student references a program of study, a professor, and an extracurricular that only exist at Yale. Additionally, they connect these unique resources to their interestsâpsychological and environmental studies.
Finally, we learn about the student (independent of academics) through this response. By the end of their 125 words, we know their hobbies, ethnicities, and social desires, in addition to their academic interests. It can be hard to tackle a 125-word response, but this student shows that itâs possible.
Why This Major?
The goal of this prompt is to understand how you came to be interested in your major and what you plan to do with it. For competitive programs like engineering, this essay helps admissions officers distinguish students who have a genuine passion and are most likely to succeed in the program. This is another more straightforward essay, but you do have a bit more freedom to include relevant anecdotes.
Learn more about how to write the âWhy This Major?â essay in our guide.
Why Duke Engineering
Prompt: If you are applying to the Pratt School of Engineering as a first year applicant, please discuss why you want to study engineering and why you would like to study at Duke (250 words).
One Christmas morning, when I was nine, I opened a snap circuit set from my grandmother. Although I had always loved math and science, I didnât realize my passion for engineering until I spent the rest of winter break creating different circuits to power various lights, alarms, and sensors. Even after I outgrew the toy, I kept the set in my bedroom at home and knew I wanted to study engineering. Later, in a high school biology class, I learned that engineering didnât only apply to circuits, but also to medical devices that could improve peopleâs quality of life. Biomedical engineering allows me to pursue my academic passions and help people at the same time.
Just as biology and engineering interact in biomedical engineering, I am fascinated by interdisciplinary research in my chosen career path. Duke offers unmatched resources, such as DUhatch and The Foundry, that will enrich my engineering education and help me practice creative problem-solving skills. The emphasis on entrepreneurship within these resources will also help me to make a helpful product. Dukeâs Bass Connections program also interests me; I firmly believe that the most creative and necessary problem-solving comes by bringing people together from different backgrounds. Through this program, I can use my engineering education to solve complicated societal problems such as creating sustainable surgical tools for low-income countries. Along the way, I can learn alongside experts in the field. Dukeâs openness and collaborative culture span across its academic disciplines, making Duke the best place for me to grow both as an engineer and as a social advocate.
This prompt calls for a complex answer. Students must explain both why they want to study engineering and why Duke is the best place for them to study engineering.
This student begins with a nice hookâa simple anecdote about a simple present with profound consequences. They do not fluff up their anecdote with flowery images or emotionally-loaded language; it is what it is, and it is compelling and sweet. As their response continues, they express a particular interest in problem-solving. They position problem-solving as a fundamental part of their interest in engineering (and a fundamental part of their fascination with their childhood toy). This helps readers to learn about the student!
Problem-solving is also the avenue by which they introduce Dukeâs resourcesâDUhatch, The Foundry, and Dukeâs Bass Connections program. It is important to notice that the student explains how these resources can help them achieve their future goalsâit is not enough to simply identify the resources!
This response is interesting and focused. It clearly answers the prompt, and it feels honest and authentic.
Why Georgia Tech CompSci
Prompt: Why do you want to study your chosen major specifically at Georgia Tech? (300 words max)
I held my breath and hit RUN. Yes! A plump white cat jumped out and began to catch the falling pizzas. Although my Fat Cat project seems simple now, it was the beginning of an enthusiastic passion for computer science. Four years and thousands of hours of programming later, that passion has grown into an intense desire to explore how computer science can serve society. Every day, surrounded by technology that can recognize my face and recommend scarily-specific ads, Iâm reminded of Uncle Benâs advice to a young Spiderman: âwith great power comes great responsibilityâ. Likewise, the need to ensure digital equality has skyrocketed with AIâs far-reaching presence in society; and I believe that digital fairness starts with equality in education.
The unique use of threads at the College of Computing perfectly matches my interests in AI and its potential use in education; the path of combined threads on Intelligence and People gives me the rare opportunity to delve deep into both areas. Iâm particularly intrigued by the rich sets of both knowledge-based and data-driven intelligence courses, as I believe AI should not only show correlation of events, but also provide insight for why they occur.
In my four years as an enthusiastic online English tutor, Iâve worked hard to help students overcome both financial and technological obstacles in hopes of bringing quality education to people from diverse backgrounds. For this reason, Iâm extremely excited by the many courses in the People thread that focus on education and human-centered technology. Iâd love to explore how to integrate AI technology into the teaching process to make education more available, affordable, and effective for people everywhere. And with the innumerable opportunities that Georgia Tech has to offer, I know that I will be able to go further here than anywhere else.
With a âWhy This Majorâ essay, you want to avoid using all of your words to tell a story. That being said, stories are a great way to show your personality and make your essay stand out. This studentâs story takes up only their first 21 words, but it positions the student as fun and funny and provides an endearing image of cats and pizzasâwho doesnât love cats and pizzas? There are other moments when the studentâs personality shines through also, like the Spiderman reference.
While this pop culture reference adds color, it also is important for what the student is getting at: their passion. They want to go into computer science to address the issues of security and equity that are on the industryâs mind, and they acknowledge these concerns with their comments about âscarily-specific adsâ and their statement that âthe need to ensure digital equality has skyrocketed.â This student is self-aware and aware of the state of the industry. This aptitude will be appealing for admissions officers.
The conversation around âthreadsâ is essential for this studentâs response because the prompt asks specifically about the major at Georgia Tech and it is the only thing they reference that is specific to Georgia Tech. Threads are great, but this student would have benefitted from expanding on other opportunities specific to Georgia Tech later in the essay, instead of simply inserting âinnumerable opportunities.â
Overall, this student shows personality, passion, and aptitudeâprecisely what admissions officers want to see!
Extracurricular Essay
Youâre asked to describe your activities on the Common App, but chances are, you have at least one extracurricular thatâs impacted you in a way you canât explain in 150 characters.
This essay archetype allows you to share how your most important activity shaped you and how you might use those lessons learned in the future. You are definitely welcome to share anecdotes and use a narrative approach, but remember to include some reflection. A common mistake students make is to only describe the activity without sharing how it impacted them.
Learn more about how to write the Extracurricular Essay in our guide.
A Dedicated Musician
My fingers raced across the keys, rapidly striking one after another. My body swayed with the music as my hands raced across the piano. Crashing onto the final chord, it was over as quickly as it had begun. My shoulders relaxed and I couldnât help but break into a satisfied grin. I had just played the Moonlight Sonataâs third movement, a longtime dream of mine.Â
Four short months ago, though, I had considered it impossible. The pieceâs tempo was impossibly fast, its notes stretching between each end of the piano, forcing me to reach farther than I had ever dared. It was 17 pages of the most fragile and intricate melodies I had ever encountered.Â
But that summer, I found myself ready to take on the challenge. With the end of the school year, I was released from my commitment to practicing for band and solo performances. I was now free to determine my own musical path: either succeed in learning the piece, or let it defeat me for the third summer in a row.Â
Over those few months, I spent countless hours practicing the same notes until they burned a permanent place in my memory, creating a soundtrack for even my dreams. Some would say Iâve mastered the piece, but as a musician I know better. Now that I can play it, I am eager to take the next step and add in layers of musicality and expression to make the once-impossible piece even more beautiful.
In this response, the student uses their extracurricular, piano, as a way to emphasize their positive qualities. At the beginning, readers are invited on a journey with the student where we feel their struggle, their intensity, and ultimately their satisfaction. With this descriptive image, we form a valuable connection with the student.
Then, we get to learn about what makes this student special: their dedication and work ethic. The fact that this student describes their desire to be productive during the summer shows an intensity that is appealing to admissions officers. Additionally, the growth mindset that this student emphasizes in their conclusion is appealing to admissions officers.
The Extracurricular Essay can be seen as an opportunity to characterize yourself. This student clearly identified their positive qualities, then used the Extracurricular Essay as a way to articulate them.
A Complicated Relationship with the School Newspaper
My schoolâs newspaper and I have a typical love-hate relationship; some days I want nothing more than to pass two hours writing and formatting articles, while on others the mere thought of student journalism makes me shiver. Still, as weâre entering our fourth year together, you could consider us relatively stable. Weâve learned to accept each otherâs differences; at this point Iâve become comfortable spending an entire Friday night preparing for an upcoming issue, and I hardly even notice the snail-like speed of our computers. Iâve even benefitted from the polygamous nature of our relationshipâwith twelve other editors, thereâs a lot of cooperation involved. Perverse as it may be, from that teamwork Iâve both gained some of my closest friends and improved my organizational and time-management skills. And though leaving it in the hands of new editors next year will be difficult, I know our time together has only better prepared me for future relationships.
This response is great. Itâs cute and endearing and, importantly, tells readers a lot about the student who wrote it. Framing this essay in the context of a âlove-hate relationship,â then supplementing with comments like âWeâve learned to accept each otherâs differencesâ allows this student to advertise their maturity in a unique and engaging way.Â
While Extracurricular Essays can be a place to show how youâve grown within an activity, they can also be a place to show how youâve grown through an activity. At the end of this essay, readers think that this student is mature and enjoyable, and we think that their experience with the school newspaper helped make them that way.
Participating in Democracy
Prompt: Research shows that an ability to learn from experiences outside the classroom correlates with success in college. What was your greatest learning experience over the past 4 years that took place outside of the traditional classroom? (250 words)Â
The cool, white halls of the Rayburn House office building contrasted with the bustling energy of interns entertaining tourists, staffers rushing to cover committee meetings, and my fellow conference attendees separating to meet with our respective congresspeople. Through civics and US history classes, I had learned about our government, but simply hearing the legislative process outlined didnât prepare me to navigate it. It was my first political conference, and, after learning about congressional mechanics during breakout sessions, I was lobbying my representative about an upcoming vote crucial to the US-Middle East relationship. As the daughter of Iranian immigrants, my whole life had led me to the moment when I could speak on behalf of the family members who had not emigrated with my parents.
As I sat down with my congresswomanâs chief of staff, I truly felt like a participant in democracy; I was exercising my right to be heard as a young American. Through this educational conference, I developed a plan of action to raise my voice. When I returned home, I signed up to volunteer with the state chapter of the Democratic Party. I sponsored letter-writing campaigns, canvassed for local elections, and even pursued an internship with a state senate campaign. I know that I donât need to be old enough to vote to effect change. Most importantly, I also know that I want to study governmentâI want to make a difference for my communities in the United States and the Middle East throughout my career.Â
While this prompt is about extracurricular activities, it specifically references the idea that the extracurricular should support the curricular. It is focused on experiential learning for future career success. This student wants to study government, so they chose to describe an experience of hands-on learning within their fieldâan apt choice!
As this student discusses their extracurricular experience, they also clue readers into their future goalsâthey want to help Middle Eastern communities. Admissions officers love when students mention concrete plans with a solid foundation. Here, the foundation comes from this studentâs ethnicity. With lines like âmy whole life had led me to the moment when I could speak on behalf of the family members who had not emigrated with my parents,â the student assures admissions officers of their emotional connection to their future field.
The strength of this essay comes from its connections. It connects the studentâs extracurricular activity to their studies and connects theirs studies to their personal history.
Overcoming Challenges
Youâre going to face a lot of setbacks in college, so admissions officers want to make youâre you have the resilience and resolve to overcome them. This essay is your chance to be vulnerable and connect to admissions officers on an emotional level.
Learn more about how to write the Overcoming Challenges Essay in our guide.
The Student Becomes the Master
âAdvanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.â Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.
Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.
Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldnât understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.
Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.Â
I first approached the adults in the dojang â both instructors and membersâ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldnât devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.
At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.
Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their childrenâs coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.
Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldnât let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojangâs longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.
Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.
Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.
This essay is great because it has a strong introduction and conclusion. The introduction is notably suspenseful and draws readers into the story. Because we know it is a college essay, we can assume that the student is one of the competitors, but at the same time, this introduction feels intentionally ambiguous as if the writer could be a competitor, a coach, a sibling of a competitor, or anyone else in the situation.
As we continue reading the essay, we learn that the writer is, in fact, the competitor. Readers also learn a lot about the studentâs values as we hear their thoughts: âI knew I couldnât let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was.â Ultimately, the conflict and inner and outer turmoil is resolved through the âSame, but Differentâ ending technique as the student places themself in the same environment that we saw in the intro, but experiencing it differently due to their actions throughout the narrative. This is a very compelling strategy!
Growing Sensitivity to Struggles
Prompt: The lessons we take from failure can be fundamental to later success. Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? (650 words)
âYou ruined my life!â After months of quiet anger, my brother finally confronted me. To my shame, I had been appallingly ignorant of his pain.
Despite being twins, Max and I are profoundly different. Having intellectual interests from a young age that, well, interested very few of my peers, I often felt out of step in comparison with my highly-social brother. Everything appeared to come effortlessly for Max and, while we share an extremely tight bond, his frequent time away with friends left me feeling more and more alone as we grew older.
When my parents learned about The Green Academy, we hoped it would be an opportunity for me to find not only an academically challenging environment, but also â perhaps more importantly â a community. This meant transferring the family from Drumfield to Kingston. And while there was concern about Max, we all believed that given his sociable nature, moving would be far less impactful on him than staying put might be on me.
As it turned out, Green Academy was everything Iâd hoped for. I was ecstatic to discover a group of students with whom I shared interests and could truly engage. Preoccupied with new friends and a rigorous course load, I failed to notice that the tables had turned. Max, lost in the fray and grappling with how to make connections in his enormous new high school, had become withdrawn and lonely. It took me until Christmas time â and a massive argument â to recognize how difficult the transition had been for my brother, let alone that he blamed me for it.
Through my own journey of searching for academic peers, in addition to coming out as gay when I was 12, I had developed deep empathy for those who had trouble fitting in. It was a pain I knew well and could easily relate to. Yet after Maxâs outburst, my first response was to protest that our parents â not I â had chosen to move us here. In my heart, though, I knew that regardless of who had made the decision, we ended up in Kingston for my benefit. I was ashamed that, while I saw myself as genuinely compassionate, I had been oblivious to the heartache of the person closest to me. I could no longer ignore it â and I didnât want to.
We stayed up half the night talking, and the conversation took an unexpected turn. Max opened up and shared that it wasnât just about the move. He told me how challenging school had always been for him, due to his dyslexia, and that the ever-present comparison to me had only deepened his pain.
We had been in parallel battles the whole time and, yet, I only saw that Max was in distress once he experienced problems with which I directly identified. Iâd long thought Max had it so easy â all because he had friends. The truth was, he didnât need to experience my personal brand of sorrow in order for me to relate â he had felt plenty of his own.
My failure to recognize Maxâs suffering brought home for me the profound universality and diversity of personal struggle; everyone has insecurities, everyone has woes, and everyone â most certainly â has pain. I am acutely grateful for the conversations he and I shared around all of this, because I believe our relationship has been fundamentally strengthened by a deeper understanding of one another. Further, this experience has reinforced the value of constantly striving for deeper sensitivity to the hidden struggles of those around me. I wonât make the mistake again of assuming that the surface of someoneâs life reflects their underlying story.
Here you can find a prime example that you donât have to have fabulous imagery or flowery prose to write a successful essay. You just have to be clear and say something that matters. This essay is simple and beautiful. It almost feels like having a conversation with a friend and learning that they are an even better person than you already thought they were.
Through this narrative, readers learn a lot about the writerâwhere theyâre from, what their family life is like, what their challenges were as a kid, and even their sexuality. We also learn a lot about their valuesânotably, the value they place on awareness, improvement, and consideration of others. Though they never explicitly state it (which is great because it is still crystal clear!), this studentâs ending of âI wonât make the mistake again of assuming that the surface of someoneâs life reflects their underlying storyâ shows that they are constantly striving for improvement and finding lessons anywhere they can get them in life.
Community Service/Impact on the Community
Colleges want students who will positively impact the campus community and go on to make change in the world after they graduate. This essay is similar to the Extracurricular Essay, but you need to focus on a situation where you impacted others.Â
Learn more about how to write the Community Service Essay in our guide.
Academic Signing Day
Prompt: What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?
The scent of eucalyptus caressed my nose in a gentle breeze. Spring had arrived. Senior class activities were here. As a sophomore, I noticed a difference between athletic and academic seniors at my high school; one received recognition while the other received silence. I wanted to create an event celebrating students academically-committed to four-years, community colleges, trades schools, and military programs. This event was Academic Signing Day.
The leadership label, âEvents Coordinator,â felt heavy on my introverted mind. I usually was setting up for rallies and spirit weeks, being overlooked around the exuberant nature of my peers.Â
I knew a change of mind was needed; I designed flyers, painted posters, presented powerpoints, created student-led committees, and practiced countless hours for my introductory speech. Each committee would play a vital role on event day: one dedicated to refreshments, another to technology, and one for decorations. The fourth-month planning was a laborious joy, but I was still fearful of being in the spotlight. Being acknowledged by hundreds of people was new to me.    Â
The day was here. Parents filled the stands of the multi-purpose room. The atmosphere was tense; I could feel the angst building in my throat, worried about the impression I would leave. Applause followed each of the 400 students as they walked to their college table, indicating my time to speak.Â
I walked up to the stand, hands clammy, expression tranquil, my words echoing to the audience. I thought my speech would be met by the sounds of crickets; instead, smiles lit up the stands, realizing my voice shone through my actions. I was finally coming out of my shell. The floor was met by confetti as I was met by the sincerity of staff, students, and parents, solidifying the event for years to come.Â
Academic students were no longer overshadowed. Their accomplishments were equally recognized to their athletic counterparts. The school culture of athletics over academics was no longer imbalanced. Now, every time I smell eucalyptus, it is a friendly reminder that on Academic Signing Day, not only were academic students in the spotlight but so was my voice.
This essay answers the prompt nicely because the student describes a contribution with a lasting legacy. Academic Signing Day will affect this high school in the future and it affected this studentâs self-developmentâan idea summed up nicely with their last phrase ânot only were academic students in the spotlight but so was my voice.â
With Community Service essays, students sometimes take small contributions and stretch them. And, oftentimes, the stretch is very obvious. Here, the student shows us that Academic Signing Day actually mattered by mentioning four months of planning and hundreds of students and parents. They also make their involvement in Academic Signing Day clearâit was their idea and they were in charge, and thatâs why they gave the introductory speech.
Use this response as an example of the type of focused contribution that makes for a convincing Community Service Essay.
Climate Change Rally
Prompt: What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time? (technically not community service, but the response works)
Letâs fast-forward time. Strides were made toward racial equality. Healthcare is accessible to all; however, one issue remains. Our aquatic ecosystems are parched with dead coral from ocean acidification. Climate change has prevailed.
Rewind to the present day.
My activism skills are how I express my concerns for the environment. Whether I play on sandy beaches or rest under forest treetops, nature offers me an escape from the haste of the world. When my body is met by trash in the ocean or my nose is met by harmful pollutants, Earthâs pain becomes my own.Â
Substituting coffee grinds as fertilizer, using bamboo straws, starting my sustainable garden, my individual actions needed to reach a larger scale. I often found performative activism to be ineffective when communicating climate concerns. My days of reposting awareness graphics on social media never filled the ambition I had left to put my activism skills to greater use. I decided to share my ecocentric worldview with a coalition of environmentalists and host a climate change rally outside my high school.
Meetings were scheduled where I informed students about the unseen impact they have on the oceans and local habitual communities. My fingers were cramped from all the constant typing and investigating of micro causes of the Pacific Waste Patch, creating reusable flyers, displaying steps people could take from home in reducing their carbon footprint. I aided my fellow environmentalists in translating these flyers into other languages, repeating this process hourly, for five days, up until rally day. Â
It was 7:00 AM. The faces of 100 students were shouting, âThe climate is changing, why canât we?â I proudly walked on the dewy grass, grabbing the microphone, repeating those same words. The rally not only taught me efficient methods of communication but it echoed my environmental activism to the masses. The City of Corona would be the first of many cities to see my activism, as more rallies were planned for various parts of SoCal. My once unfulfilled ambition was fueled by my tangible activism, understanding that it takes more than one person to make an environmental impact.
Like with the last example, this student describes a focused event with a lasting legacy. Thatâs a perfect place to start! By the end of this essay, we have an image of the cause of this studentâs passion and the effect of this studentâs passion. There are no unanswered questions.
This student supplements their focused topic with engaging and exciting writing to make for an easy-to-read and enjoyable essay. One of the largest strengths of this response is its pace. From the very beginning, we are invited to âfast-forwardâ and ârewindâ with the writer. Then, after we center ourselves in real-time, this writer keeps their quick pace with sentences like âSubstituting coffee grounds as fertilizer, using bamboo straws, starting my sustainable garden, my individual actions needed to reach a larger scale.â Community Service essays run the risk of turning boring, but this unique pacing keeps things interesting.
Having a diverse class provides a richness of different perspectives and encourages open-mindedness among the student body. The Diversity Essay is also somewhat similar to the Extracurricular and Community Service Essays, but it focuses more on what you might bring to the campus community because of your unique experiences or identities.
Learn more about how to write the Diversity Essay in our guide.
A Story of a Young Skater
âââEveryone follow me!â I smiled at five wide-eyed skaters before pushing off into a spiral. I glanced behind me hopefully, only to see my students standing frozen like statues, the fear in their eyes as clear as the ice they swayed on. âCome on!â I said encouragingly, but the only response I elicited was the slow shake of their heads. My first day as a Learn-to-Skate coach was not going as planned.Â
But amid my frustration, I was struck by how much my students reminded me of myself as a young skater. At seven, I had been fascinated by Olympic performers who executed thrilling high jumps and dizzying spins with apparent ease, and I dreamed to one day do the same. My first few months on skates, however, sent these hopes crashing down: my attempts at slaloms and toe-loops were shadowed by a stubborn fear of falling, which even the helmet, elbow pads, and two pairs of mittens I had armed myself with couldnât mitigate. Nonetheless, my coach remained unfailingly optimistic, motivating me through my worst spills and teaching me to find opportunities in failures. With his encouragement, I learned to push aside my fears and attack each jump with calm and confidence; itâs the hope that I can help others do the same that now inspires me to coach.
I remember the day a frustrated staff member directed Oliver, a particularly hesitant young skater, toward me, hoping that my patience and steady encouragement might help him improve. Having stood in Oliverâs skates not much earlier myself, I completely empathized with his worries but also saw within him the potential to overcome his fears and succeed.Â
To alleviate his anxiety, I held Oliverâs hand as we inched around the rink, cheering him on at every turn. I soon found though, that this only increased his fear of gliding on his own, so I changed my approach, making lessons as exciting as possible in hopes that he would catch the skating bug and take off. In the weeks that followed, we held relay races, played âfreeze-skateâ and âice-potatoâ, and raced through obstacle courses; gradually, with each slip and subsequent success, his fear began to abate. I watched Oliverâs eyes widen in excitement with every skill he learned, and not long after, he earned his first skating badge. Together we celebrated this milestone, his ecstasy fueling my excitement and his pride mirroring my own. At that moment, I was both teacher and student, his progress instilling in me the importance of patience and a positive attitude.Â
Itâs been more than ten years since I bundled up and stepped onto the ice for the first time. Since then, my tolerance for the cold has remained stubbornly low, but the rest of me has certainly changed. In sharing my passion for skating, I have found a wonderful community of eager athletes, loving parents, and dedicated coaches from whom I have learned invaluable lessons and wisdom. My fellow staffers have been with me, both as friends and colleagues, and the relationships Iâve formed have given me far more poise, confidence, and appreciation for others. Likewise, my relationships with parents have given me an even greater gratitude for the role they play: no one goes to the rink without a parent behind the wheel!Â
Since that first lesson, I have mentored dozens of children, and over the years, witnessed tentative steps transform into powerful glides and tears give way to delighted grins. What I have shared with my students has been among the greatest joys of my life, something I will cherish forever. Itâs funny: when I began skating, what pushed me through the early morning practices was the prospect of winning an Olympic medal. Now, what excites me is the chance to work with my students, to help them grow, and to give back to the sport that has brought me so much happiness.Â
This response is a great example of how Diversity doesnât have to mean race, gender, sexuality, ethnicity, age, or ability. Diversity can mean whatever you want it to meanâwhatever unique experience(s) you have to bring to the table!
A major strength of this essay comes in its narrative organization. When reading this first paragraph, we feel for the young skaters and understand their fearâskating sounds scary! Then, because the writer sets us up to feel this empathy, the transition to the second paragraph where the student describes their empathy for the young skaters is particularly powerful. Itâs like we are all in it together! The studentâs empathy for the young skaters also serves as an outstanding, seamless transition to the applicant discussing their personal journey with skating: âI was struck by how much my students reminded me of myself as a young skater.â
This essay positions the applicant as a grounded and caring individual. They are caring towards the young skatersâchanging their teaching style to try to help the young skaters and feeling the young skatersâ emotions with themâbut they are also appreciative to those who helped them as they reference their fellow staffers and parents. This shows great maturityâa favorable quality in the eyes of an admissions officer.
At the end of the essay, we know a lot about this student and are convinced that they would be a good addition to a college campus!
Finding Community in the Rainforest
Prompt: Duke University seeks a talented, engaged student body that embodies the wide range of human experience; we believe that the diversity of our students makes our community stronger. If youâd like to share a perspective you bring or experiences youâve had to help us understand you betterâperhaps related to a community you belong to, your sexual orientation or gender identity, or your family or cultural backgroundâwe encourage you to do so. Real people are reading your application, and we want to do our best to understand and appreciate the real people applying to Duke (250 words).
I never understood the power of community until I left home to join seven strangers in the Ecuadorian rainforest. Although we flew in from distant corners of the U.S., we shared a common purpose: immersing ourselves in our passion for protecting the natural world.
Back home in my predominantly conservative suburb, my neighbors had brushed off environmental concerns. My classmates debated the feasibility of Trumpâs wall, not the deteriorating state of our planet. Contrastingly, these seven strangers delighted in bird-watching, brightened at the mention of medicinal tree sap, and understood why I once ran across a four-lane highway to retrieve discarded beer cans. Their histories barely resembled mine, yet our values aligned intimately. We did not hesitate to joke about bullet ants, gush about the versatility of tree bark, or discuss the destructive consequences of materialism. Together, we let our inner tree huggers run free.
In the short life of our little community, we did what we thought was impossible. By feeding on each otherâs infectious tenacity, we cultivated an atmosphere that deepened our commitment to our values and empowered us to speak out on behalf of the environment. After a week of stimulating conversations and introspective revelations about engaging people from our hometowns in environmental advocacy, we developed a shared determination to devote our lives to this cause.
As we shared a goodbye hug, my new friend whispered, âThe world needs saving. Someoneâs gotta do it.â For the first time, I believed that someone could be me.
This response is so wholesome and relatable. We all have things that we just need to geek out over and this student expresses the joy that came when they found a community where they could geek out about the environment. Passion is fundamental to university life and should find its way into successful applications.
Like the last response, this essay finds strength in the fact that readers feel for the student. We get a little bit of backstory about where they come from and how they felt silencedââBack home in my predominantly conservative suburb, my neighbors had brushed off environmental concernsââ, so itâs easy to feel joy for them when they get set free.
This student displays clear values: community, ecoconsciousness, dedication, and compassion. An admissions officer who reads Diversity essays is looking for students with strong values and a desire to contribute to a university communityâsounds like this student! Â
Political/Global Issues
Colleges want to build engaged citizens, and the Political/Global Issues Essay allows them to better understand what you care about and whether your values align with theirs. In this essay, youâre most commonly asked to describe an issue, why you care about it, and what youâve done or hope to do to address it.Â
Learn more about how to write the Political/Global Issues Essay in our guide.
Note: this prompt is not a typical political/global issues essay, but the essay itself would be a strong response to a political/global issues prompt.
Fighting Violence Against Women
Prompt: Using a favorite quotation from an essay or book you have read in the last three years as a starting point, tell us about an event or experience that helped you define one of your values or changed how you approach the world. Please write the quotation, title and author at the beginning of your essay. (250-650 words)
âOne of the great challenges of our time is that the disparities we face today have more complex causes and point less straightforwardly to solutions.âÂ
â Omar Wasow, assistant professor of politics, Princeton University. This quote is taken from Professor Wasowâs January 2014 speech at the Martin Luther King Day celebration at Princeton University.Â
The air is crisp and cool, nipping at my ears as I walk under a curtain of darkness that drapes over the sky, starless. It is a Friday night in downtown Corpus Christi, a rare moment of peace in my home city filled with the laughter of strangers and colorful lights of street vendors. But I cannot focus.Â
My feet stride quickly down the sidewalk, my hand grasps on to the pepper spray my parents gifted me for my sixteenth birthday. My eyes ignore the surrounding city life, focusing instead on a pair of tall figures walking in my direction. I mentally ask myself if they turned with me on the last street corner. I do not remember, so I pick up the pace again. All the while, my mind runs over stories of young women being assaulted, kidnapped, and raped on the street. I remember my motherâs voice reminding me to keep my chin up, back straight, eyes and ears alert.Â
At a young age, I learned that harassment is a part of daily life for women. I fell victim to period-shaming when I was thirteen, received my first catcall when I was fourteen, and was nonconsensually grabbed by a man soliciting on the street when I was fifteen. For women, assault does not just happen to usâ its gory details leave an imprint in our lives, infecting the way we perceive the world. And while movements such as the Womenâs March and #MeToo have given victims of sexual violence a voice, harassment still manifests itself in the lives of millions of women across the nation. Symbolic gestures are important in spreading awareness but, upon learning that a surprising number of men are oblivious to the frequent harassment that women experience, I now realize that addressing this complex issue requires a deeper level of activism within our local communities.Â
Frustrated with incessant cases of harassment against women, I understood at sixteen years old that change necessitates action. During my junior year, I became an intern with a judge whose campaign for office focused on a need for domestic violence reform. This experience enabled me to engage in constructive dialogue with middle and high school students on how to prevent domestic violence. As I listened to young men uneasily admit their ignorance and young women bravely share their experiences in an effort to spread awareness, I learned that breaking down systems of inequity requires changing an entire culture. I once believed that the problem of harassment would dissipate after politicians and celebrities denounce inappropriate behavior to their global audience. But today, I see that effecting large-scale change comes from the âsmallâ lessons we teach at home and in schools. Concerning womenâs empowerment, the effects of Hollywood activism do not trickle down enough. Activism must also trickle up and it depends on our willingness to fight complacency.Â
Finding the solution to the long-lasting problem of violence against women is a work-in-progress, but it is a process that is persistently moving. In my life, for every uncomfortable conversation that I bridge, I make the world a bit more sensitive to the unspoken struggle that it is to be a woman. I am no longer passively waiting for others to let me live in a world where I can stand alone under the expanse of darkness on a city street, utterly alone and at peace. I, too, deserve the night sky.
As this student addresses an important social issue, she makes the reasons for her passion clearâpersonal experiences. Because she begins with an extended anecdote, readers are able to feel connected to the student and become invested in what she has to say.
Additionally, through her powerful endingââI, too, deserve the night skyââwhich connects back to her beginningâ âas I walk under a curtain of darkness that drapes over the skyââthis student illustrates a mastery of language. Her engagement with other writing techniques that further her argument, like the emphasis on timeââgifted to me for my sixteenth birthday,â âwhen I was thirteen,â âwhen I was fourteen,â etc.âalso illustrates her mastery of language.
While this student proves herself a good writer, she also positions herself as motivated and ambitious. She turns her passions into action and fights for them. That is just what admissions officers want to see in a Political/Global issues essay!
Where to Get Feedback on Your College Essays
Once youâve written your college essays, youâll want to get feedback on them. Since these essays are important to your chances of acceptance, you should prepare to go through several rounds of edits.Â
Not sure who to ask for feedback? Thatâs why we created our free Peer Essay Review resource. You can get comments from another student going through the process and also edit other studentsâ essays to improve your own writing.Â
If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you  to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!
Related CollegeVine Blog Posts
- If you are writing in a new discipline, you should always make sure to ask about conventions and expectations for introductions, just as you would for any other aspect of the essay. For example, while it may be acceptable to write a two-paragraph (or longer) introduction for your papers in some courses, instructors in other disciplines, such as those in some Government courses, may expect a shorter introduction that includes a preview of the argument that will follow.
- In some disciplines (Government, Economics, and others), itâs common to offer an overview in the introduction of what points you will make in your essay. In other disciplines, you will not be expected to provide this overview in your introduction.
- Avoid writing a very general opening sentence. While it may be true that âSince the dawn of time, people have been telling love stories,â it wonât help you explain whatâs interesting about your topic.
- Avoid writing a âfunnelâ introduction in which you begin with a very broad statement about a topic and move to a narrow statement about that topic. Broad generalizations about a topic will not add to your readersâ understanding of your specific essay topic.
- Avoid beginning with a dictionary definition of a term or concept you will be writing about. If the concept is complicated or unfamiliar to your readers, you will need to define it in detail later in your essay. If itâs not complicated, you can assume your readers already know the definition.
- Avoid offering too much detail in your introduction that a reader could better understand later in the paper.
- picture_as_pdf Introductions
College Essay Examples: 10 Best Examples of College Essays and Why They Worked
Collegeadvisor’s 10 best examples of college essays and why they worked.
The college essay is one of the most important parts of the college admissions processâand itâs also one of the hardest to complete. If youâre struggling to find the right college essay topics, youâre not alone. In this guide, weâll break down some of the best college essays to help you write a personal statement for college that will stand out .
Youâve likely written many essays over the course of your high school career. However, your personal statement for college may be the first time youâve been asked to write about yourself . Thatâs where our sample college essays can help.
The best college essays will reflect who you are, what matters to you, and why youâll enrich any college community you join. Thatâs a tall order, but looking at examples of college essays can help you as you begin the writing process. But before we dive into our sample college essays, letâs start with some basics.
What is a college essay?
A college essay is a piece of writing that responds to a given prompt, either on the Common App lication , Coalition Application , or on a schoolâs individual application. College essays can range anywhere from 50 to 800 words. There are two main types of college essays: personal statements and supplemental essays. In general, you will write one personal statement and submit it to every school you apply to. By contrast, youâll submit a different set of supplemental essays to each school.
Why do college essays matter in the admissions process?
Your college essays reflect parts of your identity that arenât clear from the rest of your application. While two students might have similar grades and extracurriculars, they wonât have the same college essays. That means that your college essays can make you stand out from the crowd. Our sample college essays can help you do just that.
In this guide, weâll walk you through sample college essays that address a wide variety of college essay topics. Weâll break down examples of college essays from every category so that you feel prepared to write your own. Each sample college essay weâve included in our college essay examples shows how you can use strong, intentional writing to approach a variety of college essay topics. By looking at these college essay examples, we hope you learn a lot about how to approach essay-writing.
Each school approaches college essay prompts differently. Each school may provide both required and optional college essay prompts. Most selective colleges will require you to write some kind of personal statement. Many also have school-specific supplemental college essay prompts and short answer questions. Below, sample college essays that worked show how students like you approached these prompts and impressed top schools.
For more tips about how to approach college essay topics and the writing process, check out our Essay Guides FAQ .
In this college essay examples guide, we’ll look at some examples of college essays and talk about why they succeeded. Our analysis will explain why these are a few of the best college essays that worked.
This includes a variety of essay types such as:
- Short essay examples
- Common App essay examples
- Examples of personal essays
- Supplemental essay examples (including why this college essay examples and why this major essay examples), and more.
Soon, weâll dive into our college essays examples and break down some examples of personal essays. But first, let’s talk about what makes a good college essay and how you can make sure your college essays stand out . As youâll see from our examples of college essays, there is no one right way to approach college essay prompts or one specific formula for writing the best college essays. However, as youâll learn from these sample college essays, there are still plenty of useful tips that can make your essays shine.
Good college essays and the college admissions process
As you start reviewing college essay prompts and looking at examples of college essays, you might find yourself wondering, âWhat are the common characteristics of good college essays?â
Each of our college application essay examples, from our Common App essay examples to our short essay examples, offer key insights into an applicantâs character. These sample college essays did a great job of answering their respective college essay prompts. As such, they each stood out to admissions teams as strong college application essay examples.
Later in this guide to college essay examples, we’ll break down the best college essays in detail. But first, let’s look at a few sample college essays to help you get an idea of what to think about as you learn how to write good college essays. These college essay examples provide valuable insight into how you can craft one of the best college essays admissions teams have ever seen.
Below is an excerpt from one of our successful personal essay examples:
One hundred and fifty bagels, all completely frozen. I couldnât believe it. My schoolâs Model UN Conference was to start in thirty minutes, and breakfast for the delegates was nowhere near ready. I looked with dismay at my friendsâ concerned faces peering out from behind piles of frozen bagels. As Secretary-General, it was my job to ensure that this conference went smoothly. However, it seemed that was not going to be the case. I took a moment to weigh my options before instructing Rachael, our âlogistics coordinator,â to heat up the frozen circles of doom in the home-ec room. I knew Rachael enjoyed baking, so I trusted her to find a way into the locked room and thaw the assortment of bagels.
Below is an excerpt from one of our successful why NYU essay examples:
The Bachelor of Science in Business Program excites me, as it entails a well rounded yet intensive study in core business disciplines. However, what draws me to Stern is the emphasis on gaining a global perspective, which is crucial in todayâs rapidly changing world economy. Through the International Business Exchange Program, I will be able to gain a first-hand cultural experience that will mold me into a global citizen and business leader. Not only will I be taking courses in the most prestigious business schools across the globe, but I will also have new doors opened for me to network with alumni.
As you can see, examples of college essays can look very different . What matters is that they are detailed, specific, and show the admissions team at any school why the writer would enrich campus lifeâall while answering the college essay prompts. When we look at more examples of college essays, we’ll discuss why these essaysâand other college essay examplesâworked so well.
We’ll break down:
- How they addressed their college essay prompts
- What kind of structure they followed
- What their unique strengths are
- Tips and tricks to use while writing your own college essays
As you start looking at examples of college essays, you may wonder how important they are to your application. The answer is: extremely.
Many top colleges and universities use a holistic process when reviewing applications. That means they evaluate your essays alongside your academic history, extracurriculars, and test scores to learn who you are, what has made you the person you are today, and what you might bring to a college campus.
As you will see from our Harvard essay examples and Stanford essay examples, the best college essays give applicants a chance to teach a school about the writer. Good college essays give schools a more complete idea of the person they will be inviting to join their student bodyâand they are the only chance a school has to learn who you are in your own words.
Providing details and telling your story
As you’ll see from our college essay examples, good college essays discuss important details that might not be clear from the rest of your application. Each of our Common App essay examples tells a specific story. Other college essay prompts, like the Stanford roommate essay, for instance, ask applicants to reflect on parts of their identity beyond their grades and test scores.
Many colleges have also tried to demystify the college application process and provide helpful resources. Some schools, like Johns Hopkins and Hamilton , even provide their own examples of college essays that worked, including Common App essay examples. This can give you a sense of what their admissions team looks for.
Youâll encounter many different college essay topics. Each of these will ask you to write about your experiences in a slightly different way. So, looking at different college essay samples (like a why this college essay example or a why this major essay example) can help you approach different college essay topics. Also, since the Common App essay is a crucial part of your application, youâll benefit from reading our Common App essay examples.
Later in this guide, weâll provide full sample college essays for you. This will include both Common App essay examples and short essay examples.
Keep reading to learn more about the different types of college essay topics. Then, weâll talk about the examples of college essays youâll find later in our college essay examples guide.
Types of college essay prompts youâll encounter
All college essay prompts will require your best writing and ideas. Understanding the differences between the types of college essay samples can help you learn how to approach your college essay prompts.
Our examples of college essays fall into two main categories:
- Personal Essay Examples (Common App essay examples/Coalition App essay examples/Personal essay examples)
- Supplemental Essay Examples (short essay examples)
Our different types of college essay examples will show how you might approach different topics and what your final essays may look like. For example, when comparing Common App essay examples and supplemental short essay examples, one significant difference between the two is the word count. When looking at short essay examples, youâll notice that the details you find in Common App essay examples donât fit within the short 150 word or 250 word limit. As youâll see in our short essay examples, short-form supplemental essays require you to make the most out of a limited number of words.
Exploring a variety of college essay samples will help prepare you to write your own. If you havenât narrowed down your school selection yet, you might not know what kinds of supplemental essays you will write or what examples of college essays you should read. In this case, start with our personal essay examplesâthat is, our Common App essay examples.
The Personal Statement
The most common type of essay youâll encounter is a personal statement for college. For most applications, youâll choose from a selection of prompts and write a longer essay (500 â 800 words) that speaks to your experiences, identity, and goals. Your personal statement for college tends to be the longest essay in your application. This means it may require more work to edit into a focused and compelling story. For inspiration, take a look at our Common App essay examples. Each of our Common App essay examples tells a story that the admissions team otherwise wouldnât know.
You will apply to colleges using the Common Application, the Coalition Application, or a school-specific portal. Each of these application portals will have their own unique prompts and specific word counts. However, all of our examples of personal essays serve a similar purpose and require a similar writing process.
Beyond your personal statement for college, many schools ask you to write school-specific supplemental essays. Our college application essay examples will cover a range of supplemental essay prompts, including why you are interested in a particular school or a particular major.
Some schools also offer a section where you can provide additional information that may have affected your grades or overall profile. This might include details about your home life or any special circumstances that created challenges for you.
In this college essay examples guide, weâll look at Common App essay examples to help you craft your personal statement.
The school-specific college essays that worked, we will review below include:
- Harvard essay examples
- Stanford essay examples
- UPenn supplemental essays
- Dartmouth essay examples
- Why NYU essay examples
- Why UChicago essay examples
This collection of college essays that worked will include short essay examples, including a why this college essay example and a why this major essay example. Before we break down these sample college essays, letâs look at what exactly makes the best college essays the best.
What makes the best college essays?
When looking at college essays that worked, whether personal essay examples or short essay examples, it may be challenging to discern exactly what makes a great sample college essay great. In our college essay examples guide, our examples of college essays (in addition to being correctly formatted ) have succeeded across a few criteria.
The criteria to keep in mind while you are considering how to write a successful essay are:
- Personality
You can apply these criteria to all of our college application essay examples, including our Common App essay examples, examples of personal essays, and short essay examples. A strong sample college essay, no matter the length, will use these three elements to create a compelling story that will show a school how you would enrich their campus.
In our examples of college essays, you’ll see that good college essays follow a thoughtfully composed structure. Since college essay prompts often have strict word limits, it is important to follow these examples of college essays and make sure your college essay flows. Strong personal essay examples usually tell a story that leaves the reader with a lasting impression.
Like our example college essays, your college essay should have a clear beginning, middle, and end. As youâll see in our college essay examples, particularly our examples of personal essays, there isnât one right way to structure your essay. Your structure could be chronological, funnel down from broad to specific, or start with a particular memory or experience and then expand out towards a greater perspective. No matter how you structure your essay, make sure your narrative remains clear.
Not all essays have to look the same
As you will see from our examples of college essays, your college essay can look any number of ways. The best college essays can take many forms â what’s important is that your college essay shows the admissions team who you are . Even as you look at college application essay examples inspired by a singular prompt, youâll find the topics they cover to be very different. However, one thing our college essay examples have in common is that they all showcase who the writer is while still answering the essay prompt.
As you read our examples of college essays and start writing your own, try to emphasize your own identity. Think about what is important to you, experiences that made you grow or changed you, times where you were challenged, or an a-ha moment that solidified a piece of who you are. Then, once youâve found a topic to write about, make sure it connects back to the original prompt. Even if you tell a fantastic story, if it doesnât answer the question in the prompt, youâll have missed the goal of the essay. If youâre still having trouble coming up with an essay topic, try this reflection exercise to help you brainstorm.
Standing out
Weâve chosen these college essay samples because they stood out in the admissions process. Besides being well-crafted, what makes a sample college essay stand out is personality. In this college essay examples guide, weâve included a range of Common App essay examples and short essay examples that embody different voices, tones, and styles.
As you read through our examples of college essays, you may get stuck on trying to pick a topic that is 100% unique or obviously impressive. Instead of worrying about what makes you unique from other applicants, focus on being honest and being true to yourself. Remember, no one is exactly like you. So, follow the blueprint our sample college essays provide, but stay true to who you are.
For example, if humor is a key part of your personality, let that side of you shine through in your essays! However, if you read a hilarious college essay example but donât naturally use humor yourself, donât try to replicate someone elseâs voice. The best college essay examples reflect students who knew who they were, what they wanted to say, and how they wanted to say it.
Our sample college essays show why it’s important to take care as you craft your personal statement and supplemental essays. But what exactly made these examples of college essays work, and how can you replicate these sample college essays in your own admissions process?
How to use these college essay examples
Wondering how to use these essays to write your own college admission essay examples about yourself?
Weâve given some background on why weâve included certain college application essay examples. Weâve also discussed what you can learn from the different types of college essay samples. Now, you might ask yourself, âHow should I use these college application essay examples to start writing my own?â
Each college essay example addresses a unique prompt within a specific word count. So, our Common App essay examples may be more helpful to reference when writing your personal statement. Our short essay examples, by contrast, may be more helpful as you tackle your supplemental essays.
Think of these college essay examples, including Harvard essay examples and Stanford essay examples, as a resource. We know the college admissions process can be overwhelming . Thatâs why we are committed to providing you with resources and essay tips to help you navigate your college applications.
These college essays that worked should inspire you. As you read over these college essay samples, use these examples of college essays as a guide, not a blueprint. Your college essay should be original and entirely your own work. However, by looking at these sample college essays, you’ll get an idea of what to highlight as you tell your authentic story .
Coming up: college admission essay examples about yourself
So far, we’ve taken a peek at some examples of college essays. We hope these college essay samples will help you jumpstart your writing process. Now, you know a little bit about what goes into selecting a college essay example and why these college essay samples work. Itâs time to take a deep dive into writing college admission essay examples about yourself.
Next, weâll dig into some examples of college essays and think about how to write college admission essay examples about yourself. First, weâll look at some Common App essay examples to help you write your personal statement. As you read through our examples of personal essays, we will break down why these Common App essay examples work and how you can craft your own effective personal statement.
Common App Essay ExamplesâHow to approach your personal statement for college
Are you furiously googling âcollege admission essay examples about yourselfâ? Youâre not alone. Writing good responses to college essay topics is one of the most difficult parts of the application process. With so many college essay prompts and college essay samples out there, it’s hard to know where to start. Thatâs why weâve provided the following examples of personal essays based on a variety of college essay topics.
This section will focus on Common App essay examplesâthat is, college admission essay examples about yourself. Weâll unpack two examples of college essays that worked and analyze what made them effective. The Common App essay will be a crucial part of your application to nearly every school on your list. Reviewing other college application essay examples is a great way to improve your own writing.
Each of these examples of college essays comes from our advisor network. Moreover, every sample college essay helped its writer get into a top school. So, they are all good examples of personal essays to use as you start your writing process.
Getting started with examples of college essays
Writing a personal statement for college isnât easy. Itâs natural to look for college admission essay examples about yourself to help. However, if you want to be competitive at top schools, you need to make sure that your Common App essayâlike these Common App essay examplesâis the best it can be. Many examples of college essays struggle to leave a lasting impression on readers. Also, many students struggle to choose the right college essay topics. These Common App essay examples will teach you how to do just that.
Letâs dig into some personal essay examplesâor college admission essay examples about yourself. Each of these college essay samples relates to one of the Common App essay prompts. These examples of personal essays each tell stories about the writers that arenât clear from the rest of their application; thatâs why our college essay examples were successful at top schools.
Our guide will walk you through these examples of college essays and show you how to write one of the best college essays you can. Later on, we break down why these sample college essays were successful and show you how you can replicate that success in your own personal statement for college.
Common App EssayâExample 1: Elinor
The first of our Common App essay examples comes from a student named Elinor. In the first of our personal essay examples, she highlights her involvement in a club in an innovative and exciting way. Her tone, structure, and style each help her essay stand out from other examples of college essays.
Below is the full text for the first of our examples of college essays. Later, weâll discuss what makes this sample college essay one of the best college essay samples to look at.
Elinor’s Common App Essay:
One hundred and fifty bagels, all completely frozen. I couldnât believe it. My schoolâs Model UN Conference was to start in thirty minutes, and breakfast for the delegates was nowhere near ready. I looked with dismay at my friendsâ concerned faces peering out from behind piles of frozen bagels. As Secretary-General, it was my job to ensure that this conference went smoothly. However, it seemed that was not going to be the case. I took a moment to weigh my options before instructing Rachael, our âlogistics coordinator,â to heat up the frozen circles of doom in the home-ec room. I knew Rachael enjoyed baking, so I trusted her to find a way into the locked room and thaw the assortment of bagels. Cold bagels were not the only thing weighing heavily on my mind that morning. As I walked from classroom to classroom helping set up committees, I couldnât help but feel nervous. Our conference wasnât going to be like those of the private schools- there were no engraved pens or stylish water bottles. Instead, people got post-it notes and whatever pens we could steal from the supply closet. Forcing myself to stop worrying, I chose instead to think of why we made that choice. Since most of the food was donated, and all of the supplies had been âborrowedâ from the supply closet, we could afford to charge only a nominal fee to everyone attending. Making Model UN accessible was one of my top priorities as Secretary-General; the same desire motivated me to begin including middle school students in the club. I hurried back down to the cafeteria, and was relieved to see that all the bagels looked warm and ready to eat. The bagels would not be the sole crisis that day. As debates were about to start, one of the Chairs sent me a panic stricken text: âWe only have 5 people in our committee! We canât reenact the creation of the Treaty of Versailles!â I hurried to where his debate was taking place, and sure enough, only five people were there. I quickly considered my options- cancel the committee? Convince some delegates to switch into this debate through bagel bribery? Or maybe, come up with a completely new topic? I settled on idea number three. But what topic could a committee of only five people spend a day discussing? I mulled it over until an idea began to form. I explained to the room, âEach one of you will represent one of the five major Democratic and Republican presidential candidates. The chair will guide you as you tweet, make campaign videos, and debate the most important political issues.â I spent a few minutes figuring out how to go about moderating such an unconventional committee, before heading off to check in on the other debates. As I walked from committee to committee, fixing problems and helping move debates along, I felt a sense of pride. I had spent months working on this conference, along with the other members of my team. At times, I worried I could never pull it off. A part of me had wished our faculty advisor would just organize the whole thing for us. After all, Iâm just a high schooler, how could I put together such a big event? But as the day went by, I realized that with the help of my peers, I had done it. All the little crises that cropped up werenât because I was doing a bad job; they were inevitable. The fact that I could find solutions to such a wide variety of problems was a testament to my leadership skills, and my level-headedness. I didnât just feel like a leaderâI felt like an adult. As I look towards my future in college and later the workforce, I know that I can succeed, even if my obstacles seem as insurmountable as a mountain of frozen bagels.
Reflecting on this sample college essay
The first of our college essay examples certainly deserves its spot among the best college essays. This sample college essay works in large part because of its opening. The first sentence of Elinorâs Common App essay makes the reader want to continueâwhat happened to the bagels? How will Elinor solve this problem? Examples of college essays with strong introductions draw the reader in. In addition, an inspiring first sentence sets the tone for the rest of the essay. The frozen bagels in this college essay example create tension that draws the reader in.
Often, good examples of college essays also read like short stories in which the writer is the main character. While Elinor does mention other people in her Common App essay, she remains focused on her own actions and emotional state. In the third paragraph, she describes in detail how she responded to a crisis. She first explains her thought process, then she tells us what action she took to address the crisis.
As you comb through various college admission essay examples about yourself, you should keep your own identity in mind. Strong examples of personal essays should contain personal details about the writer. College essay topics are designed to get to know you on a personal level. Strong examples of college essays use every chance to showcase the writerâs positive qualities.
Tell YOUR story
The best Common App essay examples tell a story about the author. These college essay examples are no exception. Often, strong sample college essays use a story to show who a student is. Elinor uses the story of her model UN conference to show her leadership , maturity, and problem-solving skills. Like any good story, Elinorâs personal statement for college contains obstacles for her to overcome and challenges to face. By presenting these examples and discussing her responses, Elinorâs Common App essay shows that she is ready for the challenges ahead.
The best college essays show information rather than just telling it. Itâs one thing to tell readers you are a proactive leader in college admission essay examples about yourself; itâs another to show it through your actions. In the second paragraph of her personal statement for college, Elinor states that she wanted to make model UN accessible as Secretary General. She then goes into detail about how she accomplished that goal by organizing food donations and only charging a small fee for attending the conference. In these Common App essay examples, the writers use details and evidence to showcase their best qualities.
Elinorâs sample college essay also contains a strong conclusion. She illustrates what she has learned about herself from this experience and in doing so, helps the admissions team learn more about her. In this college essay example, Elinor clearly shows the kind of student she would be and how she would enrich campus life. The best college application essay examples show readers why students should be admitted through evidence and storytelling. Our Common App essay examples each accomplish that goal.
Common App EssayâExample 2: Arham
The second of our Common App essay examples uses a different strategy to the first. However, it is still one of the top examples of personal essays. The next author of our college essay examples, Arham, starts with a very specific moment from his fifth grade class. He then explains how that moment has affected his life.
While some examples of personal essays are about a recent event, other personal essay examples show the authorâs development over a longer period of time. To understand why this is among the best college application essay examples, let’s look at the essay itself and how it employs techniques often found in the best college essay examples.
Arham’s Common App Essay:
An hour into President Obama’s inauguration, I stifled a yawn and raised my hand. “Ms. Edgell, who did you vote for?” Instantly, nineteen fifth-graders shattered the silence: “Of course she voted Republican!â “No, she’s a Democrat!” “Obama was born in Kenya!” “Don’t ask people about their politics,” she chided. “So . . . you’re a Republican!” “Arham. Outside.” As Ms. Edgell fruitlessly tried to explain that politics didn’t belong in the classroom, I struggled to suppress a smile–I couldnât help it. For a few moments, fifth gradeâs single-variable algebra and spelling tests had been replaced by a more intriguing conversation: one without a definitive answer. Snippets of boisterous debate continued to drift through the closed door, and I was eager to rejoin the conversation–that day, I learned disagreements were fascinating. Eager to understand the âwhyâ of each and every belief, I turned to my living room: a constant cacophony of political commentary, occasionally punctuated by my fatherâs frustrated jabs at the pause button and exasperated interjections. In my quest to decipher the cryptic nightly news, my parents became my personal dictionary, fielding a nightly barrage of questions. Forget just explaining where babies come from–over the next four years, I asked them to articulate almost every conceivable stance on gun control, abortion, and the death penalty. Through that television screen, I first encountered the full diversity of human opinions, and I was enthralled; I wanted to triumph in every dispute. Dodging my parentsâ dinnertime queries of how my day went, I delved into new lines of questioning: the viability of Medicare for All, the feasibility of 100% green energy, the merits of chicken tikka masala mac & cheese fusion. After watching the 2016 Presidential Debate, I spent hours pondering the economic consequences of a more cohesive border–sadly, the living room walls didn’t offer much feedback on my ideas. Soon, I realized that some of my âsolutionsâ were a bit near-sighted; eliminating poverty by printing money wasnât exactly the modern-day Wealth of Nations, and the solution to global warming was a tad more nuanced than planting trees. I learned that I wouldnât always be right–instead, the desire to win was slowly replaced by a yearning to understand. With every discussion, I synthesized new information, pinpointed gaps in my knowledge, and reevaluated my views; then, aided by the latest edition of The Economist and a plethora of Google searches, I’d unearth the next set of questions. Late nights in my living room have defined a lifelong passion: using disagreements as a lens to explore, understand, and influence the world. In Congressman DeSaulnier’s officeâwhere interns were instructed to hang up on adversarial callersâI instead found myself engrossed in half-hour conversations with frustrated constituents. There, I delved beneath the partisan rhetoric to truly understand why people support a wall, desire nationalized healthcare, or champion coal–and, in return, I offered a bit of my own worldview. On elevators, Iâve been known to strike conversation on the whimsical (Should gyms offer a package where you pay for every day you donât go?); overseas, I invite teams from Germany, Singapore, and Mexico to opine on whether or not Amazon should be considered a monopoly. Whether it’s discussing capitalism or everyday life, the resulting conversations shed light on our culture, upbringing, and aspirations–the willingness to disagree is what builds rapport. In recognition of that, I beckon for dialogue; I constantly invite the world to teach me more. In fifth grade, I learned that we fear disagreement–feigning unity will always be more comfortable. But, through ignoring each other’s most fundamental beliefs, we simultaneously abandon our ability to understand our peers. In my living room, disagreements provided a venue for questioning and navigating a world of conflicting perspectives: though I didnât know it at the time, they set the stage for a lifetime of questioning. So, be it in the classroom, through a phone call, or on stage, I continue to raise my hand.”
Why is this a college essay that works
As we saw in the first of our college essay examples, one reason this sample college essay is effective is that it engages the reader from the very first sentence. The author uses the technique of in medias res , which is often found in strong personal essay examples. Instead of beginning the essay with exposition, the author begins with a quote that places the reader in the middle of a riveting conversation. This strategy makes the best Common App essay examples interesting to read and helps the best college essays stand out from the rest.
Another feature that characterizes the best college essay examples is varied and interesting word choice. This doesnât mean you need to use words in your writing that you wouldnât ordinarily use. In our examples of college essays, the writers donât just throw around SAT words. Instead, these successful examples of college essays use carefully chosen words to elevate the quality of the writing and heighten emotional tension. The phrase âshattered the silenceâ from the second paragraph is a perfect example of how a vivid word can instantly improve a sentence. In addition, the phrase âconstant cacophony of political commentaryâ shows how employing poetic devicesâin this case, alliterationâcan make college essay examples more fun to read.
So, what makes the second of our college essay examples shine? This personal statement for college works because it presents a compelling story about a young boy slowly learning how to express his opinions and refining his beliefs. Many of the best examples of college essays show a process of growth or transformation. These transformations require struggle, and good college essays embrace that struggle and present it openly to readers.
The value of authenticity
This brings us to another key feature of our college essay examples: authenticity. Some students have the misconception that the best college essays should only portray your good qualities. However, this is not the case. Instead, the most successful personal essay examples address their authorsâ shortcomings and explain how they have worked to overcome them.
Honesty and authenticity permeate these college essay samples. Arhamâs example college essay reveals his genuine passion for debate. He provides several examples, both personal and academic, that demonstrate his interest in that topic. Importantly, successful Common App essay examples include details not present in other areas of your application. This gives readers a more personal look into your values. These examples of college essays reveal the quirks and obsessions that round out the authorâs personality and set him apart from his peers.
Both of these successful examples of college essays contain strong conclusions that look ahead to the future. These personal essay examples provide insight into how the writers will contribute to a college community. Arham uses the phrase âlifetime of questioningâ to show that he will bring his curiosity and thirst for knowledge to whatever college he attends. Good college application essay examples show readers why they should accept you and what you will bring to their campus.
Although these examples of college essays are different from each other, they were both successful for a variety of reasons. Now letâs look at how to replicate these examples of college essays in your own writing!
Personal Essay ExamplesâHow to get started writing your own college essays that work
Do you feel ready to sit down and write your own personal statement for college? Letâs break down some tips to help you use our sample college essays to write your own. Be aware that every writer has their own personal style. So, try to find ways to make these tips work for your own college admission essay examples about yourself!
So, what can we learn from these college application essay examples? Reflecting on these two Common App essay examples, there are several steps you can take in your own writing process to craft a college essay that works for top schools.
In addition to reviewing other examples of college essays, we recommend that you do some prewriting exercises to help you write the best college essays you can. First, take a moment to review your candidate profile. Then, decide on what 3-5 adjectives you would use to describe yourself. After youâve reviewed our college essay examples, click here for a list of strong adjectives you might use.
Consider the word count
This exercise helps focus your essay on the most important themes. Because college essay topics are so broad, students want to cover as much ground as possible. However, the best Common App essay examples recognize the limits set by the word count. With this in mind, these examples of college essays use specific details to illustrate broad concepts. You may have a lot to share, but the best college essays highlight qualities not found elsewhere in your application. Reflect on our personal essay examples as you write. Instead of rehashing your extracurricular achievements, follow the lead of our Common App essay examples. Tell a story the admissions team hasnât heard.
After you have your five adjectives, look over the Common Applicationâs college essay prompts. Then, choose one that lets you showcase the qualities you selected earlier. When writing college admission essay examples about yourself, itâs better to tell a single story in vivid detail than to write a broad survey of all your accomplishments. The first of our Common App essay examples focused on a single day of Elinorâs high school career. She then uses this anecdote to make a larger claim about her ability to solve problems. The second of the college essay samples starts with the story of a single fifth grade class before broadening out to other topics. As you choose your college essay topics, keep specificity in mind.
Expect to write multiple drafts
The best college essays take multiple drafts. So, make sure you allow yourself enough time to write your personal statement for college. The college application essay examples in this guide werenât written in a day. Rather, these college essay examples each went through several drafts to become good college essays. So, take a cue from our examples of personal essays. After you write the first draft of your Common App essay, review it after a day or two. This will help you approach it with a fresh perspective. Having others review your writing can also help transform good college essays into the best college essays.
There is no single formula for writing good college essays. However, you can learn to develop your own voice by reading articles and reviewing sample college essays written by other students. As weâve stated, examples of personal essays can help you find your own voice and narrative as you start the writing process. This article from U.S. News contains more college essay examples along with short essay examples of supplemental prompts. It also provides advice from admissions counselors about how to write college application essay examples that stand out from other examples of personal essays. Top colleges like Tufts , Johns Hopkins , and Connecticut College often post examples of college essays that worked for their schools. Reading Harvard essay examples along with other college essay samples from top schools gives you a sense of what it takes to get into top schools.
Showing vs. telling
With the above Common App essay examples, we’ve presented two college essays that worked. Both of these college application essay examples showârather than tellâthe reader important details about the applicant’s identity. These college essay examples show what kinds of students these writers would be on campus. Based on these sample college essays, top schools could imagine these students in their communities. Thatâs why these examples of college essays stand out.
Beyond the Common App Essay
These Common App essay examples are not the only personal essay examples we will look at in this guide. Next, weâll discuss supplemental college essay examplesâshort essay examples that usually range between one hundred and four hundred words.
These college essay prompts are unique to the schools that assign them. However, looking at many different short essay examples will help you prepare for the variety of college essay prompts you may encounter. Letâs take a look at these examples of college essays!
Short essay examples: What types of college essay topics will you see?
Now that you have some useful Common App essay examples to use as you write your personal statement for college, let’s look at some other examples of college essays. As we mentioned, there are several types of college essays .
The short essay examples weâll discuss effectively and efficiently answer the prompt. Keep in mind that you will often work within the constraints of a word limit. Reading examples of college essays will help you learn this writing style. Still, remember that the best college essays will reflect your own voice. Once again, use our examples of college essays as a guideâdonât try to be someone youâre not.
In this section, we’ll focus on four main types of supplemental college essay samples. These include why this college essay examples, why this major essay examples, other less typical supplemental essay examples, and “additional information” essay examples. As we look at these examples of college essays, we’ll focus on what made these some of the best college essays out there. We’ll talk about what makes each of these college essay examples uniqueâand how you can use them as you craft your own college essays.
Our college essay examples shouldnât hold you back. Donât feel limited to the same or similar college essay topics that you read in our college essay examples. Reading some short essay samples or Common App essay samples may help you brainstorm, but the stories you tell should be uniquely yours. When reading college application essay examples, keep in mind that authenticity will impress colleges the most.
‘Why this college’ essay
First, let’s break down some why this college essay examples. As you’ll see from our examples of successful essays, your why this college essay should discuss in detail what attracts you to that particular school.
Many colleges will require you to write an essay about why you want to attend that particular school. Good college essays that answer these prompts will reflect a given schoolâs mission, opportunities, and personality. When you read successful why NYU essay examples, why Stanford essay examples, or why UPenn supplemental essays, youâll notice that the writer isnât afraid to be specific.
Questions to consider
What classes will you take? Is there a professor whose work inspires you? What clubs will you join? The best examples of college essays are detailed and convincing . When reading short essay examples, notice how many details the writers include. Then, think about how you can include details with the same specificityâbut ones that are applicable to your life, plans, and interests.
Most schools will have their own supplemental essays. This is one area where Common App essay examples and supplemental college essay examples will differ. Our Common App essay samples were submitted to all colleges, while these short essay examples were submitted to individual colleges.
As our example why this college essays show, itâs important to research the schools on your list before you complete any college essay prompts. Why this college essays that work establish three thingsâa personal anecdote, details about the collegeâs offerings, and the connection between a writerâs personal story and the college. Essentially, the best college essays help the reader visualize how a student will succeed at that school.
A ‘Why Dartmouth’ essay that worked
Why this college essay examples are a useful tool as you prepare your application for any top school. When reading this Dartmouth essay, pay attention to the clearly articulated and cohesive details. The best college essay examples will be easy to read and convey lots of information in a limited number of words.
I always had a keen interest in numbers, probability, and finance. Early on, I could quickly calculate sales tax, analyze probabilities, and visualize complex mathematical models. After taking AP classes in economics and statistics, I became intrigued with mathematical representations for economic markets and statistical models. This sparked my desire to pursue an actuarial career to utilize my talents in quantitative reasoning. The Major in Mathematical Data Science will provide me the skills to apply abstract mathematical and statistical theories to the concrete world. I will also have the opportunity to stimulate my academic intrigue through an intensive research project.
Good college essays do more than discuss why the applicant wants to study their major. They also go beyond why that school would be a good fit for their interests. College essays that worked also show why the applicant would make that school a better place.
As this Dartmouth essay shows , the best college essays illustrate a track record of involvement to support the applicantâs proposed path forward. In this Dartmouth essay, the applicant plans to become an actuary. Given this studentâs background, this feels like an attainable and sincere goal.
Something else to note about this Dartmouth essay is that the writer doesnât use big fancy words or elaborate sentence structure. Good college essays are well-planned, written intentionally, and free from errors. However, they still sound like high schoolers wrote them! Like our examples of college essays, your short essays should feel natural and authentic.
‘Why UChicago’ essay examples
Why UChicago essay examples provide useful insight into what UChicago âand other top schools âlook for when evaluating applicants. These Why UChicago essay examples also have qualities that you can think about when looking at Stanford essay examples, why NYU essay examples, or others!
Ex. 1: ‘Why UChicago’ essay example
When I visited UChicago, a friend invited me to step into her Comparative Literature class: Monstrosity and the Monstrous. Desperate for refuge from the cold (as a Bay Area resident, I hadnât packed for the Chicago winter), I quickly obliged. I expected to silently observe, but when I mentioned that Iâd read Antigone, her professor was thrilled–he immediately invited me into the discussion. For an hour and a half, we weighed the pros and cons of civil disobedience: did Antigoneâs actions permanently destabilize Thebes, and in the modern day, when does protesting against a government cross the line? Was Antigone justified in interpreting the will of the gods? And, if so, would Sophocles support pardoning well-intentioned criminals? Beyond the enthralling analysis of the play, I was captivated by the spirit of UChicago: a campus that invites everyone (including a loitering high school student) to contribute and develop their ideas.
In this first section of our UChicago short essay examples, notice that the writer shows a knowledge of campus based on their campus visit and research. Though UChicago does not track demonstrated interest , the best college essay examples include references to visits, school-specific events, and specific details about the schoolâs offer. This establishes a connection between the reader and the writer. Strong college essay samples will show genuine interest.
When reading examples of college essays, you should also think about the tone. In the first excerpt of these college application essay examples, the tone is passionate and enthusiastic. The tone of this sample college essay conveys excitement, and the reader can almost see the applicant walking around campus. Letâs read more UChicago essay examples:
Ex. 2: ‘Why UChicago’ essay example
Now, itâs surreal to imagine taking âThe Economics of Crimeâ from someone as renowned as Professor Levitt (Iâve been a fan since reading Freakonomics) and staying after class to clarify the finer points of the latest Freakonomics podcast (I particularly enjoyed âSpeak Softly and Carry Big Data,â on using data analysis to perfect foreign policy decisions). I hope to add to UChicagoâs legacy of pushing the boundaries of our economic understanding by participating in undergraduate research, and perhaps put my findings to use through crafting social policy for the Harris Schoolâs Public Policy Practicum. Prior to graduating, Iâll sample tastes of future careers through the Fried Public Policy and Service Program or the Trott Business Program. Simultaneously, as someone who enjoys conversing and respectfully challenging ideas, I look forward to immersing myself in the Core Curriculum and obtaining a strong foundation of knowledge. Above all, I appreciate that UChicago teaches students how to think, encourages dialogue, and prompts students to question norms.
Showcase your various interests
In this sample college essay excerpt, the author reveals a strong passion for learning. In this and many other why this college essay samples, the writer doesnât focus solely on one academic area. Instead, the best college essays reveal qualities and traits of someone who is eager to explore a variety of interests.
Another strength of this sample college essay excerpt is that it sticks to the facts. The best college essays limit overly emotional appeals, avoid clichĂ© phrases, and donât make vague statements about the future. Youâll see many examples of college essays that acknowledge a degree of uncertainty about what the author will studyâand thatâs okay! As our examples of college essays show, you donât need to have everything figured out.
Note too, that both excerpts of UChicago college application essay examples are part of a much longer essay. The UChicago supplement is closer in length to Common App essay examples. Though the college essay topics are different for UChicago, you can learn from reading Common App essay examples, too!
For more examples of college essays from UChicago, check out this article!
‘Why this college’ essaysâAdditional tips
There are a few more tips to learn from reading these examples of college essays. First, notice that you have a lot of freedom to choose your college essay topics. All that matters is that you discuss why you want to go to that particular college. Perhaps you are attracted to a niche academic program, or maybe you want to combine two of your interests and engage with an institute on campus.
Also, choose your college essay topics and words carefully. Effective college essay samples avoid âspendingâ words complimenting colleges, telling them information they already know, or regurgitating marketing materials. Strong examples of college essays donât focus on rankings, acceptance rates, or prestige. Writing about the beautiful buildings, the weather, or the student body size will seldom effectively answer college essay prompts.
Dig deep and make connections
The most effective college essay examples mention major-specific electives or particular clubs. Most importantly, theyâll explain why these programs matter to the writer. You will notice that college application essay examples often describe how college will be an extension of existing passions, interests, and activities.
In these why this college essay examples, the writers each point to specific reasons why they would like to attend their respective schools. These why this college essays are detailed and specific. Both of these sample essays showcase what their writers would bring to a college campus and how they would benefit from attending their respective schools.
As you start writing, think about our college admission essay examples about yourself. Stay true to your identity, be specific, and tell a storyâthen, you have a great chance of writing the best college essays you can.
‘Why this major’ essay examples
Next, let’s discuss some why this major college essay prompts. A why this major essay tells the admissions team what inspires you about your chosen field. By reading our why this major essay examples, you can understand how to discuss your academic interests in an engaging way that tells the admissions team more about your identity and passions. Letâs read some sample college essays.
Ex.1: UPenn ‘Why this major’ essay
The University of Pennsylvania, with its strong emphasis on pre-professional learning is ideal as a learning environment. That focus is what drives many students with an eye to the future — we hope to apply our learning, impact the real world in ways that inspire change. I find the Cognitive Science program, specifically its concentration in Language and Mind most appealing. As someone who places great emphasis in words, the idea of analyzing the cognitive aspects behind linguistics, whether philosophically, psychologically, or computationally draws upon various fields that showcase various perspectives on the meanings of language. Itâs fascinating that despite the various languages and cultures there can be a biological scientific breakdown explaining the complex processes underlying syntax and semantics.
Ex. 2: Brown University ‘Why this major’ essay
As someone who places great emphasis in words, the idea of analyzing the cognitive aspects behind linguistics, whether philosophically, psychologically, or computationally fits my ideal of using interdisciplinary methods to study human behavior holistically. I am also concerned with quantitative methods. For example, AP Psychology allowed me to talk about the ethics and methodology. I had read about the Asch conformity tests. But when my teacher set up the experiment with three classmates as subjects and the rest of us as confederates, two subjects did not conform; our ratio of nonconformity was lower than Asch had found. Could it be a trait of the magnet population and experience? Should I remain pre-med, a strong background in neuroscience will support my study of anatomy and help me become a better physician. Directly linking biology and behavior, Cognitive Neuroscience will contribute to my holistic view of my patients.
Express your passion and curiosity
Each of these why this major essay examples gives the reader a sense of the writer’s intellectual passions. These why this major essay examples are clearly written, specific, and personal. When reading these examples of college essays, notice how detailed they are. For example, âI find the Cognitive Science program, specifically its concentration in Language and Mind most appealing.â Good college essays dig underneath the surface. Winning essays will identify how and why a student connects with their identified major or program.
Note too, that the author of the Brown sample college essay build a clear connection between their past experiences in high school (âFor example, AP Psychology allowed me to talk about the ethics and methodologyâ) and future goals in college (âShould I remain pre-med, a strong background in neuroscience will support my study of anatomy and help me become a better physician. Directly linking biology and behavior, Cognitive Neuroscience will contribute to my holistic view of my patients.â)
Content comes first
As you can see in these examples of college essays, itâs crucial to focus on the content of the essay. So, when you write, complete all college essay prompts with specific details about why you want to attend that college. This will improve your overall application narrative. And, donât forget to make that narrative cohesive. Strong college application essay examples tie extracurriculars, background , and identity together with future plans.
Whether youâre writing UPenn supplemental essays or Brown supplemental essays, try to write about interdisciplinary interests if possible. Youâre likely interested in more than one area, and many schools offer majors, minors, and certifications with unique combinations. Many short essay examples will go beyond the surface to discuss how the applicantâs seemingly disparate interests mesh.
These college admission essay examples about yourself might raise some questions. Inevitably, some of you reading college essay samples are asking, âwhat if I donât know what major I want to study?â Of course, college essays that worked can come from students who are certain of their future career. However, they can also come from students who change their major multiple times.
So, donât panic if you havenât chosen a major. Instead, look at how you spend your time. What excites you now? College essay prompts give you the flexibility to expand on your reasoning.
Unconventional college essay topics
Some supplemental essay prompts aren’t as straightforward as the why this major or why this college essay examples. For instance, Stanford has some unconventional college essay prompts that help the admissions team learn more about each student. Stanford asks students to write letters to their future roommate. So, let’s look at some Stanford roommate essay examples.
Stanford roommate essay
Stanford roommate essay examplesâlike any college essay examplesâcan be helpful as you craft your application for Stanford or any other top school. Unlike some examples of college essays, the question these Stanford roommate essay examples answer is a bit more personal. College essay prompts like these give you the chance to show off what makes you unique. The best college essays for these types of prompts will show off your unique character.
When tasked with writing an unconventional essay like the Stanford roommate essay, itâs helpful to look at a few examples of college essays. These will help give you a feel for college essays that worked. Letâs read two sample college essays.
Ex.1: Stanford Roommate Essay
In the spirit of inaugurating the life-long relationship I hope weâll build this year, let me tell you a little about myself. Hi, Iâm Allison. Iâm the second child of a comically over-optimistic refugee mother (my Vietnamese name translates, literally, to âcelestial beingâ) and a proud Kentuckian with a deep passion for student-driven advocacy. I have two parents, two stepparents, a nineteen-year-old sister (a junior in Product Design, here, at Stanford), a three-year-old half-sister, two cats, one dog, and a complicated life that spans two households. So, Iâm used to sharing space and managing shifting schedules. Iâve also always been the âMomâ friend. To me, the little thingsâa chocolate chip cookie when I know a friend has a rough day ahead, words of encouragement before a big presentation, or staying up late to explain a tough physics problemâmean the most. Iâll be there when you need meâbe it studying for tests or navigating personal challenges. I recycle incessantly and am known to snatch cans out of the trash, wash them, and relocate them to neighboring blue bins. I keep a regular sleep schedule, rarely going to bed past midnight or waking up later than 8:30. Iâm averse to gyms, opting instead to go for runs in the morning or follow along to a YouTube workout in the afternoon. Iâm passionate, but also even-keeled. I think life is best taken in strideâworrying has never gotten me anywhere, but flexibility has taken me everywhere. I look forward to an awesome year!
Ex.2: Stanford Roommate Essay
Hey Roomie! Yesterday was insane. I still canât quite get over the energy in that stadium after that final play. I guess Berkeley couldnât take back the axe to cut down these Trees! Iâm writing you this since I have an 8:30 Syntax and Morphology with Dr. Gribanov. I know, itâs early, but that class is honestly worth waking up for. Last Friday, he spent the entire period rambling about why regardless and irregardless are the same thing, but responsible and irresponsible arenât. Just a fun little thought to start your day. Iâm also writing you this as a quick apology. I wonât be back from Mock Trial until late evening, and then Iâll be practicing for Stanford Symphony auditions. So, if you hear cacophonous noises in your sleep, itâs most likely me. Plus, itâs Mahler Symphony No. 1, so you might not sleep much anyway. Kidding. These next few days are jam-packed, but Iâm craving some much-needed bonding time! I have a proposal: how does a jam session this Friday at Terman Fountain sound? Iâll bring the guitar and plenty of oldies sheet music, you just gotta bring a snack and the desire to sing! Iâve sold a few people already. Join us? Well, Iâm headed to breakfast now. Text me if you want me to grab you anything.
Casual tone and style
These examples of college essays have a more casual tone and style. This works because it fits the prompt for the Stanford roommate essay. Writing a formal styled response in this case would be inappropriate. Instead, in these college application essay examples, both authors discuss their quirks, interests, habits, and personalities . Try to replicate this in your own Stanford roommate essay. Reading a variety of examples of college essays can help you brainstorm your own, but your ideas should still be original!
You and your freshman roommate will come to know each other well, so respond to this prompt with openness and honesty. While they arenât as prevalent in Common App essay examples or supplemental college essay examples, jokes and humor are more common in these letters.
Examples of college essays that are a letter to your freshman roommate are less formal. However, they should still be specific and vivid. Include details and stories to show the reader who you are. The strongest college application essay examples for Stanford will illustrate your identity through vivid stories and specifics details.
Your letter to your Stanford roommate is a great opportunity to show the admissions committee another aspect of who you are. Take advantage of it!
The âAdditional Informationâ essay
Finally, let’s turn to one last set of examples of college essays. One of the college essay prompts you’ll encounter is the “additional information” section of the Common App. This also appears as an optional supplement for some schools. Not all students should write this college essay. However, if you have something important to share about your background or experiences, the “additional information” section can be helpful.
Let’s look at some college essay examples for this prompt. Keep in mind when reading college essay examples for this prompt that the content will differ from applicant to applicant. So, use this space in whatever way feels natural to you.
Ex. 1: Harvard University Additional Information essay
I would like the Harvard Admissions Committee to know that my life circumstances are far from typical. I was born at twenty-four weeks gestation, which eighteen years ago was on the cusp of viability. Even if I was born today, under those same circumstances, my prospects for leading a normal life would be grim. Eighteen years ago, those odds were worse, and I was given a less than 5% chance of survival without suffering major cognitive and physical deficits. The first six months of my life were spent in a large neonatal ICU in Canada. I spent most of that time in an incubator, kept breathing by a ventilator. When I was finally discharged home, it was with a feeding tube and oxygen, and it would be several more months before I was able to survive without the extra tubes connected to me. At the age of two, I was still unable to walk. I engaged in every conventional and non-conventional therapy available to me, including physical and speech therapy, massage therapy, gymnastics, and several nutritional plans, to try to remedy this. Slowly, I began to make progress in what would be a long and arduous journey towards recovery.
This short essay example shares critical information about the writer. In doing so, this sample college essay excerpt helps the reader learn more about how medical circumstances have shaped the studentâs perspective. It is factualâand so are many âadditional informationâ short essay examples you will read.
The best examples of college essays covering additional information are concrete. They often detail special circumstances, background information, or ways your life has been impacted. If you donât have important information to write about, then donât feel like you have to write something. Many students leave this section blank!
Focus on impact
Youâll notice that examples of college essays for the additional information prompt could also include details about your extracurriculars . You might use this area to detail additional extracurriculars and awards that would not fit in that section. These short essay examples typically take the form of a list rather than an essay. These short essay samples should focus on impact; donât include unimpressive extracurriculars just to put something in the box. Examples of college essays come in all shapes and sizes.
You don’t need to include any additional information on the Common App if you have nothing more to share. However, as you can see from our college essay examples, this section can be useful in some cases. So, use our sample college essays to help you determine whether you should include any additional information in your own applications.
Final ThoughtsâExamples of College Essays & College Essays That Worked
In this guide to college essay examples, we’ve walked you through several different kinds of college essays prompts. We’ve also provided details on why these sample college essays impressed admissions officers at top schools. Reading and analyzing college essay examples can be an excellent part of the brainstorming process.
Colleges admit you based on your potential. So, when reading college essay samples, note the key qualities that the writer reveals. Each of the college essay samples is original and authentic. This should be one of your primary goals when writing your own college essays.
As you write your college essays, keep these college essay examples in mind. Think about how these short essay examples show impact and character. Then, use your voice to tell your unique story. Good luck!
This guide to college essay examples was written by Caroline Marapese, Notre Dame â22, Alex Baggott-Rowe , Davidson â16, and Stefanie Tedards. At CollegeAdvisor, we have built our reputation by providing comprehensive information that offers real assistance to students. If you want to get help with your college applications from Alex or other CollegeAdvisor.com Admissions Experts , click here to schedule a free meeting with one of our Admissions Specialists. During your meeting, our team will discuss your profile and help you find targeted ways to increase your admissions odds at top schools. Weâll also answer any questions and discuss how CollegeAdvisor.com can support you in the college application process.
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How to Write the Perfect Essay
06 Feb, 2024 | Blog Articles , English Language Articles , Get the Edge , Humanities Articles , Writing Articles
You can keep adding to this plan, crossing bits out and linking the different bubbles when you spot connections between them. Even though you wonât have time to make a detailed plan under exam conditions, it can be helpful to draft a brief one, including a few key words, so that you donât panic and go off topic when writing your essay.
If you donât like the mind map format, there are plenty of others to choose from: you could make a table, a flowchart, or simply a list of bullet points.
Discover More
Thanks for signing up, step 2: have a clear structure.
Think about this while you’re planning: your essay is like an argument or a speech. It needs to have a logical structure, with all your points coming together to answer the question.
Start with the basics! It’s best to choose a few major points which will become your main paragraphs. Three main paragraphs is a good number for an exam essay, since you’ll be under time pressure.Â
If you agree with the question overall, it can be helpful to organise your points in the following pattern:
- YES (agreement with the question)
- AND (another YES point)
- BUT (disagreement or complication)
If you disagree with the question overall, try:
- AND (another BUT point)
For example, you could structure the Of Mice and Men sample question, “To what extent is Curleyâs wife portrayed as a victim in Of Mice and Men ?”, as follows:
- YES (descriptions of her appearance)
- AND (other people’s attitudes towards her)
- BUT (her position as the only woman on the ranch gives her power as she uses her femininity to her advantage)
If you wanted to write a longer essay, you could include additional paragraphs under the YES/AND categories, perhaps discussing the ways in which Curleyâs wife reveals her vulnerability and insecurities, and shares her dreams with the other characters. Alternatively, you could also lengthen your essay by including another BUT paragraph about her cruel and manipulative streak.
Of course, this is not necessarily the only right way to answer this essay question â as long as you back up your points with evidence from the text, you can take any standpoint that makes sense.
Step 3: Back up your points with well-analysed quotations
You wouldnât write a scientific report without including evidence to support your findings, so why should it be any different with an essay? Even though you arenât strictly required to substantiate every single point you make with a quotation, thereâs no harm in trying.
A close reading of your quotations can enrich your appreciation of the question and will be sure to impress examiners. When selecting the best quotations to use in your essay, keep an eye out for specific literary techniques. For example, you could highlight Curleyâs wifeâs use of a rhetorical question when she says, a”nâ what am I doinâ? Standinâ here talking to a bunch of bindle stiffs.” This might look like:
The rhetorical question âanâ what am I doinâ?â signifies that Curleyâs wife is very insecure; she seems to be questioning her own life choices. Moreover, she does not expect anyone to respond to her question, highlighting her loneliness and isolation on the ranch.
Other literary techniques to look out for include:
- Tricolon â a group of three words or phrases placed close together for emphasis
- Tautology â using different words that mean the same thing: e.g. “frightening” and “terrifying”
- Parallelism â ABAB structure, often signifying movement from one concept to another
- Chiasmus â ABBA structure, drawing attention to a phrase
- Polysyndeton â many conjunctions in a sentence
- Asyndeton â lack of conjunctions, which can speed up the pace of a sentence
- Polyptoton â using the same word in different forms for emphasis: e.g. “done” and “doing”
- Alliteration â repetition of the same sound, including assonance (similar vowel sounds), plosive alliteration (“b”, “d” and “p” sounds) and sibilance (“s” sounds)
- Anaphora â repetition of words, often used to emphasise a particular point
Donât worry if you canât locate all of these literary devices in the work youâre analysing. You can also discuss more obvious techniques, like metaphor, simile and onomatopoeia. Itâs not a problem if you canât remember all the long names; itâs far more important to be able to confidently explain the effects of each technique and highlight its relevance to the question.
Step 4: Be creative and original throughout
Anyone can write an essay using the tips above, but the thing that really makes it “perfect” is your own unique take on the topic. If youâve noticed something intriguing or unusual in your reading, point it out â if you find it interesting, chances are the examiner will too!
Creative writing and essay writing are more closely linked than you might imagine. Keep the idea that youâre writing a speech or argument in mind, and youâre guaranteed to grab your readerâs attention.
Itâs important to set out your line of argument in your introduction, introducing your main points and the general direction your essay will take, but donât forget to keep something back for the conclusion, too. Yes, you need to summarise your main points, but if youâre just repeating the things you said in your introduction, the body of the essay is rendered pointless.
Think of your conclusion as the climax of your speech, the bit everything else has been leading up to, rather than the boring plenary at the end of the interesting stuff.
To return to Of Mice and Men once more, here’s an example of the ideal difference between an introduction and a conclusion:
Introduction
In John Steinbeckâs Of Mice and Men , Curleyâs wife is portrayed as an ambiguous character. She could be viewed either as a cruel, seductive temptress or a lonely woman who is a victim of her societyâs attitudes. Though she does seem to wield a form of sexual power, it is clear that Curleyâs wife is largely a victim. This interpretation is supported by Steinbeckâs description of her appearance, other peopleâs attitudes, her dreams, and her evident loneliness and insecurity.
Overall, it is clear that Curleyâs wife is a victim and is portrayed as such throughout the novel in the descriptions of her appearance, her dreams, other peopleâs judgemental attitudes, and her loneliness and insecurities. However, a character who was a victim and nothing else would be one-dimensional and Curleyâs wife is not. Although she suffers in many ways, she is shown to assert herself through the manipulation of her femininity â a small rebellion against the victimisation she experiences.
Both refer back consistently to the question and summarise the essayâs main points. However, the conclusion adds something new which has been established in the main body of the essay and complicates the simple summary which is found in the introduction.
Hannah is an undergraduate English student at Somerville College, University of Oxford, and has a particular interest in postcolonial literature and the Gothic. She thinks literature is a crucial way of developing empathy and learning about the wider world. When she isn’t writing about 17th-century court masques, she enjoys acting, travelling and creative writing.Â
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- What is an essay?
What makes a good essay?
Typical essay structure, 7 steps to writing a good essay, a step-by-step guide to writing a good essay.
Whether you are gearing up for your GCSE coursework submissions or looking to brush up on your A-level writing skills, we have the perfect essay-writing guide for you. đŻ
Staring at a blank page before writing an essay can feel a little daunting . Where do you start? What should your introduction say? And how should you structure your arguments? They are all fair questions and we have the answers! Take the stress out of essay writing with this step-by-step guide â youâll be typing away in no time. đ©âđ»
What is an essay?
Generally speaking, an essay designates a literary work in which the author defends a point of view or a personal conviction, using logical arguments and literary devices in order to inform and convince the reader.
So â although essays can be broadly split into four categories: argumentative, expository, narrative, and descriptive â an essay can simply be described as a focused piece of writing designed to inform or persuade. đ€
The purpose of an essay is to present a coherent argument in response to a stimulus or question and to persuade the reader that your position is credible, believable and reasonable. đ
So, a âgoodâ essay relies on a confident writing style â itâs clear, well-substantiated, focussed, explanatory and descriptive . The structure follows a logical progression and above all, the body of the essay clearly correlates to the tile â answering the question where one has been posed.
But, how do you go about making sure that you tick all these boxes and keep within a specified word count? Read on for the answer as well as an example essay structure to follow and a handy step-by-step guide to writing the perfect essay â hooray. đ
Sometimes, it is helpful to think about your essay like it is a well-balanced argument or a speech â it needs to have a logical structure, with all your points coming together to answer the question in a coherent manner. âïž
Of course, essays can vary significantly in length but besides that, they all follow a fairly strict pattern or structure made up of three sections. Lean into this predictability because it will keep you on track and help you make your point clearly. Letâs take a look at the typical essay structure:
#1 Introduction
Start your introduction with the central claim of your essay. Let the reader know exactly what you intend to say with this essay. Communicate what youâre going to argue, and in what order. The final part of your introduction should also say what conclusions youâre going to draw â it sounds counter-intuitive but itâs not â more on that below. 1ïžâŁ
Make your point, evidence it and explain it. This part of the essay â generally made up of three or more paragraphs depending on the length of your essay â is where you present your argument. The first sentence of each paragraph â much like an introduction to an essay â should summarise what your paragraph intends to explain in more detail. 2ïžâŁ
#3 Conclusion
This is where you affirm your argument â remind the reader what you just proved in your essay and how you did it. This section will sound quite similar to your introduction but â having written the essay â youâll be summarising rather than setting out your stall. 3ïžâŁ
No essay is the same but your approach to writing them can be. As well as some best practice tips, we have gathered our favourite advice from expert essay-writers and compiled the following 7-step guide to writing a good essay every time. đ
#1 Make sure you understand the question
#2 complete background reading.
#3 Make a detailed plan
#4 Write your opening sentences
#5 flesh out your essay in a rough draft, #6 evidence your opinion, #7 final proofread and edit.
Now that you have familiarised yourself with the 7 steps standing between you and the perfect essay, letâs take a closer look at each of those stages so that you can get on with crafting your written arguments with confidence .
This is the most crucial stage in essay writing â r ead the essay prompt carefully and understand the question. Highlight the keywords â like âcompare,â âcontrastâ âdiscuss,â âexplainâ or âevaluateâ â and let it sink in before your mind starts racing . There is nothing worse than writing 500 words before realising you have entirely missed the brief . đ§
Unless you are writing under exam conditions , you will most likely have been working towards this essay for some time, by doing thorough background reading. Re-read relevant chapters and sections, highlight pertinent material and maybe even stray outside the designated reading list, this shows genuine interest and extended knowledge. đ
#3 Make a detailed plan
Following the handy structure we shared with you above, now is the time to create the âskeleton structureâ or essay plan. Working from your essay title, plot out what you want your paragraphs to cover and how that information is going to flow. You donât need to start writing any full sentences yet but it might be useful to think about the various quotes you plan to use to substantiate each section. đ
Having mapped out the overall trajectory of your essay, you can start to drill down into the detail. First, write the opening sentence for each of the paragraphs in the body section of your essay. Remember â each paragraph is like a mini-essay â the opening sentence should summarise what the paragraph will then go on to explain in more detail. đïž
Next, it's time to write the bulk of your words and flesh out your arguments. Follow the âpoint, evidence, explainâ method. The opening sentences â already written â should introduce your âpointsâ, so now you need to âevidenceâ them with corroborating research and âexplainâ how the evidence youâve presented proves the point youâre trying to make. âïž
With a rough draft in front of you, you can take a moment to read what you have written so far. Are there any sections that require further substantiation? Have you managed to include the most relevant material you originally highlighted in your background reading? Now is the time to make sure you have evidenced all your opinions and claims with the strongest quotes, citations and material. đ
This is your final chance to re-read your essay and go over it with a fine-toothed comb before pressing âsubmitâ. We highly recommend leaving a day or two between finishing your essay and the final proofread if possible â youâll be amazed at the difference this makes, allowing you to return with a fresh pair of eyes and a more discerning judgment. đ€
If you are looking for advice and support with your own essay-writing adventures, why not t ry a free trial lesson with GoStudent? Our tutors are experts at boosting academic success and having fun along the way. Get in touch and see how it can work for you today. đ
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Sat / act prep online guides and tips, 3 great narrative essay examples + tips for writing.
General Education
A narrative essay is one of the most intimidating assignments you can be handed at any level of your education. Where you've previously written argumentative essays that make a point or analytic essays that dissect meaning, a narrative essay asks you to write what is effectively a story .
But unlike a simple work of creative fiction, your narrative essay must have a clear and concrete motif âa recurring theme or idea that youâll explore throughout. Narrative essays are less rigid, more creative in expression, and therefore pretty different from most other essays youâll be writing.
But not to fearâin this article, weâll be covering what a narrative essay is, how to write a good one, and also analyzing some personal narrative essay examples to show you what a great one looks like.
What Is a Narrative Essay?
At first glance, a narrative essay might sound like youâre just writing a story. Like the stories you're used to reading, a narrative essay is generally (but not always) chronological, following a clear throughline from beginning to end. Even if the story jumps around in time, all the details will come back to one specific theme, demonstrated through your choice in motifs.
Unlike many creative stories, however, your narrative essay should be based in fact. That doesnât mean that every detail needs to be pure and untainted by imagination, but rather that you shouldnât wholly invent the events of your narrative essay. Thereâs nothing wrong with inventing a personâs words if you canât remember them exactly, but you shouldnât say they said something they werenât even close to saying.
Another big difference between narrative essays and creative fictionâas well as other kinds of essaysâis that narrative essays are based on motifs. A motif is a dominant idea or theme, one that you establish before writing the essay. As youâre crafting the narrative, itâll feed back into your motif to create a comprehensive picture of whatever that motif is.
For example, say you want to write a narrative essay about how your first day in high school helped you establish your identity. You might discuss events like trying to figure out where to sit in the cafeteria, having to describe yourself in five words as an icebreaker in your math class, or being unsure what to do during your lunch break because itâs no longer acceptable to go outside and play during lunch. All of those ideas feed back into the central motif of establishing your identity.
The important thing to remember is that while a narrative essay is typically told chronologically and intended to read like a story, it is not purely for entertainment value. A narrative essay delivers its theme by deliberately weaving the motifs through the events, scenes, and details. While a narrative essay may be entertaining, its primary purpose is to tell a complete story based on a central meaning.
Unlike other essay forms, it is totally okayâeven expectedâto use first-person narration in narrative essays. If youâre writing a story about yourself, itâs natural to refer to yourself within the essay. Itâs also okay to use other perspectives, such as third- or even second-person, but that should only be done if it better serves your motif. Generally speaking, your narrative essay should be in first-person perspective.
Though your motif choices may feel at times like youâre making a point the way you would in an argumentative essay, a narrative essayâs goal is to tell a story, not convince the reader of anything. Your reader should be able to tell what your motif is from reading, but you donât have to change their mind about anything. If they donât understand the point you are making, you should consider strengthening the delivery of the events and descriptions that support your motif.
Narrative essays also share some features with analytical essays, in which you derive meaning from a book, film, or other media. But narrative essays work differentlyâyouâre not trying to draw meaning from an existing text, but rather using an event youâve experienced to convey meaning. In an analytical essay, you examine narrative, whereas in a narrative essay you create narrative.
The structure of a narrative essay is also a bit different than other essays. Youâll generally be getting your point across chronologically as opposed to grouping together specific arguments in paragraphs or sections. To return to the example of an essay discussing your first day of high school and how it impacted the shaping of your identity, it would be weird to put the events out of order, even if not knowing what to do after lunch feels like a stronger idea than choosing where to sit. Instead of organizing to deliver your information based on maximum impact, youâll be telling your story as it happened, using concrete details to reinforce your theme.
3 Great Narrative Essay Examples
One of the best ways to learn how to write a narrative essay is to look at a great narrative essay sample. Letâs take a look at some truly stellar narrative essay examples and dive into what exactly makes them work so well.
A Ticket to the Fair by David Foster Wallace
Today is Press Day at the Illinois State Fair in Springfield, and Iâm supposed to be at the fairgrounds by 9:00 A.M. to get my credentials. I imagine credentials to be a small white card in the band of a fedora. Iâve never been considered press before. My real interest in credentials is getting into rides and shows for free. Iâm fresh in from the East Coast, for an East Coast magazine. Why exactly theyâre interested in the Illinois State Fair remains unclear to me. I suspect that every so often editors at East Coast magazines slap their foreheads and remember that about 90 percent of the United States lies between the coasts, and figure theyâll engage somebody to do pith-helmeted anthropological reporting on something rural and heartlandish. I think they asked me to do this because I grew up here, just a couple hoursâ drive from downstate Springfield. I never did go to the state fair, thoughâI pretty much topped out at the county fair level. Actually, I havenât been back to Illinois for a long time, and I canât say Iâve missed it.
Throughout this essay, David Foster Wallace recounts his experience as press at the Illinois State Fair. But itâs clear from this opening that heâs not just reporting on the events exactly as they happenedâthough thatâs also trueâ but rather making a point about how the East Coast, where he lives and works, thinks about the Midwest.
In his opening paragraph, Wallace states that outright: âWhy exactly theyâre interested in the Illinois State Fair remains unclear to me. I suspect that every so often editors at East Coast magazines slap their foreheads and remember that about 90 percent of the United States lies between the coasts, and figure theyâll engage somebody to do pith-helmeted anthropological reporting on something rural and heartlandish.â
Not every motif needs to be stated this clearly , but in an essay as long as Wallaceâs, particularly since the audience for such a piece may feel similarly and forget that such a large portion of the country exists, itâs important to make that point clear.
But Wallace doesnât just rest on introducing his motif and telling the events exactly as they occurred from there. Itâs clear that he selects events that remind us of that idea of East Coast cynicism , such as when he realizes that the Help Me Grow tent is standing on top of fake grass that is killing the real grass beneath, when he realizes the hypocrisy of craving a corn dog when faced with a real, suffering pig, when heâs upset for his friend even though heâs not the one being sexually harassed, and when he witnesses another East Coast person doing something he wouldnât dare to do.
Wallace is literally telling the audience exactly what happened, complete with dates and timestamps for when each event occurred. But heâs also choosing those events with a purposeâhe doesnât focus on details that donât serve his motif. Thatâs why he discusses the experiences of people, how the smells are unappealing to him, and how all the people he meets, in cowboy hats, overalls, or âblack spandex that looks like cheesecake leotards,â feel almost alien to him.
All of these details feed back into the throughline of East Coast thinking that Wallace introduces in the first paragraph. He also refers back to it in the essayâs final paragraph, stating:
At last, an overarching theory blooms inside my head: megalopolitan East Coastersâ summer treats and breaks and literally âgetaways,â flights-fromâfrom crowds, noise, heat, dirt, the stress of too many sensory choicesâŠ.The East Coast existential treat is escape from confines and stimuliâquiet, rustic vistas that hold still, turn inward, turn away. Not so in the rural Midwest. Here youâre pretty much away all the timeâŠ.Something in a Midwesterner sort of actuates , deep down, at a public eventâŠ.The real spectacle that draws us here is us.
Throughout this journey, Wallace has tried to demonstrate how the East Coast thinks about the Midwest, ultimately concluding that they are captivated by the Midwestâs less stimuli-filled life, but that the real reason they are interested in events like the Illinois State Fair is that they are, in some ways, a means of looking at the East Coast in a new, estranging way.
The reason this works so well is that Wallace has carefully chosen his examples, outlined his motif and themes in the first paragraph, and eventually circled back to the original motif with a clearer understanding of his original point.
When outlining your own narrative essay, try to do the same. Start with a theme, build upon it with examples, and return to it in the end with an even deeper understanding of the original issue. You donât need this much space to explore a theme, eitherâas weâll see in the next example, a strong narrative essay can also be very short.
Death of a Moth by Virginia Woolf
After a time, tired by his dancing apparently, he settled on the window ledge in the sun, and, the queer spectacle being at an end, I forgot about him. Then, looking up, my eye was caught by him. He was trying to resume his dancing, but seemed either so stiff or so awkward that he could only flutter to the bottom of the window-pane; and when he tried to fly across it he failed. Being intent on other matters I watched these futile attempts for a time without thinking, unconsciously waiting for him to resume his flight, as one waits for a machine, that has stopped momentarily, to start again without considering the reason of its failure. After perhaps a seventh attempt he slipped from the wooden ledge and fell, fluttering his wings, on to his back on the window sill. The helplessness of his attitude roused me. It flashed upon me that he was in difficulties; he could no longer raise himself; his legs struggled vainly. But, as I stretched out a pencil, meaning to help him to right himself, it came over me that the failure and awkwardness were the approach of death. I laid the pencil down again.
In this essay, Virginia Woolf explains her encounter with a dying moth. On surface level, this essay is just a recounting of an afternoon in which she watched a moth dieâitâs even established in the title. But thereâs more to it than that. Though Woolf does not begin her essay with as clear a motif as Wallace, itâs not hard to pick out the evidence she uses to support her point, which is that the experience of this moth is also the human experience.
In the title, Woolf tells us this essay is about death. But in the first paragraph, she seems to mostly be discussing lifeâthe moth is âcontent with life,â people are working in the fields, and birds are flying. However, she mentions that it is mid-September and that the fields were being plowed. Itâs autumn and itâs time for the harvest; the time of year in which many things die.
In this short essay, she chronicles the experience of watching a moth seemingly embody life, then die. Though this essay is literally about a moth, itâs also about a whole lot more than that. After all, moths arenât the only things that dieâWoolf is also reflecting on her own mortality, as well as the mortality of everything around her.
At its core, the essay discusses the push and pull of life and death, not in a way thatâs necessarily sad, but in a way that is accepting of both. Woolf begins by setting up the transitional fall season, often associated with things coming to an end, and raises the ideas of pleasure, vitality, and pity.
At one point, Woolf tries to help the dying moth, but reconsiders, as it would interfere with the natural order of the world. The mothâs death is part of the natural order of the world, just like fall, just like her own eventual death.
All these themes are set up in the beginning and explored throughout the essayâs narrative. Though Woolf doesnât directly state her theme, she reinforces it by choosing a small, isolated eventâwatching a moth dieâand illustrating her point through details.
With this essay, we can see that you donât need a big, weird, exciting event to discuss an important meaning. Woolf is able to explore complicated ideas in a short essay by being deliberate about what details she includes, just as you can be in your own essays.
Notes of a Native Son by James Baldwin
On the twenty-ninth of July, in 1943, my father died. On the same day, a few hours later, his last child was born. Over a month before this, while all our energies were concentrated in waiting for these events, there had been, in Detroit, one of the bloodiest race riots of the century. A few hours after my fatherâs funeral, while he lay in state in the undertakerâs chapel, a race riot broke out in Harlem. On the morning of the third of August, we drove my father to the graveyard through a wilderness of smashed plate glass.
Like Woolf, Baldwin does not lay out his themes in concrete termsâunlike Wallace, thereâs no clear sentence that explains what heâll be talking about. However, you can see the motifs quite clearly: death, fatherhood, struggle, and race.
Throughout the narrative essay, Baldwin discusses the circumstances of his fatherâs death, including his complicated relationship with his father. By introducing those motifs in the first paragraph, the reader understands that everything discussed in the essay will come back to those core ideas. When Baldwin talks about his experience with a white teacher taking an interest in him and his fatherâs resistance to that, he is also talking about race and his fatherâs death. When he talks about his fatherâs death, he is also talking about his views on race. When he talks about his encounters with segregation and racism, he is talking, in part, about his father.
Because his father was a hard, uncompromising man, Baldwin struggles to reconcile the knowledge that his father was right about many things with his desire to not let that hardness consume him, as well.
Baldwin doesnât explicitly state any of this, but his writing so often touches on the same motifs that it becomes clear he wants us to think about all these ideas in conversation with one another.
At the end of the essay, Baldwin makes it more clear:
This fight begins, however, in the heart and it had now been laid to my charge to keep my own heart free of hatred and despair. This intimation made my heart heavy and, now that my father was irrecoverable, I wished that he had been beside me so that I could have searched his face for the answers which only the future would give me now.
Here, Baldwin ties together the themes and motifs into one clear statement: that he must continue to fight and recognize injustice, especially racial injustice, just as his father did. But unlike his father, he must do it beginning with himselfâhe must not let himself be closed off to the world as his father was. And yet, he still wishes he had his father for guidance, even as he establishes that he hopes to be a different man than his father.
In this essay, Baldwin loads the front of the essay with his motifs, and, through his narrative, weaves them together into a theme. In the end, he comes to a conclusion that connects all of those things together and leaves the reader with a lasting impression of completionâthough the elements may have been initially disparate, in the end everything makes sense.
You can replicate this tactic of introducing seemingly unattached ideas and weaving them together in your own essays. By introducing those motifs, developing them throughout, and bringing them together in the end, you can demonstrate to your reader how all of them are related. However, itâs especially important to be sure that your motifs and clear and consistent throughout your essay so that the conclusion feels earned and consistentâif not, readers may feel mislead.
5 Key Tips for Writing Narrative Essays
Narrative essays can be a lot of fun to write since theyâre so heavily based on creativity. But that can also feel intimidatingâsometimes itâs easier to have strict guidelines than to have to make it all up yourself. Here are a few tips to keep your narrative essay feeling strong and fresh.
Develop Strong Motifs
Motifs are the foundation of a narrative essay . What are you trying to say? How can you say that using specific symbols or events? Those are your motifs.
In the same way that an argumentative essayâs body should support its thesis, the body of your narrative essay should include motifs that support your theme.
Try to avoid cliches, as these will feel tired to your readers. Instead of roses to symbolize love, try succulents. Instead of the ocean representing some vast, unknowable truth, try the depths of your brotherâs bedroom. Keep your language and motifs fresh and your essay will be even stronger!
Use First-Person Perspective
In many essays, youâre expected to remove yourself so that your points stand on their own. Not so in a narrative essayâin this case, you want to make use of your own perspective.
Sometimes a different perspective can make your point even stronger. If you want someone to identify with your point of view, it may be tempting to choose a second-person perspective. However, be sure you really understand the function of second-person; itâs very easy to put a reader off if the narration isnât expertly deployed.
If you want a little bit of distance, third-person perspective may be okay. But be carefulâtoo much distance and your reader may feel like the narrative lacks truth.
Thatâs why first-person perspective is the standard. It keeps you, the writer, close to the narrative, reminding the reader that it really happened. And because you really know what happened and how, youâre free to inject your own opinion into the story without it detracting from your point, as it would in a different type of essay.
Stick to the Truth
Your essay should be true. However, this is a creative essay, and itâs okay to embellish a little. Rarely in life do we experience anything with a clear, concrete meaning the way somebody in a book might. If you flub the details a little, itâs okayâjust donât make them up entirely.
Also, nobody expects you to perfectly recall details that may have happened years ago. You may have to reconstruct dialog from your memory and your imagination. Thatâs okay, again, as long as you arenât making it up entirely and assigning made-up statements to somebody.
Dialog is a powerful tool. A good conversation can add flavor and interest to a story, as we saw demonstrated in David Foster Wallaceâs essay. As previously mentioned, itâs okay to flub it a little, especially because youâre likely writing about an experience you had without knowing that youâd be writing about it later.
However, donât rely too much on it. Your narrative essay shouldnât be told through people explaining things to one another; the motif comes through in the details. Dialog can be one of those details, but it shouldnât be the only one.
Use Sensory Descriptions
Because a narrative essay is a story, you can use sensory details to make your writing more interesting. If youâre describing a particular experience, you can go into detail about things like taste, smell, and hearing in a way that you probably wouldnât do in any other essay style.
These details can tie into your overall motifs and further your point. Woolf describes in great detail what she sees while watching the moth, giving us the sense that we, too, are watching the moth. In Wallaceâs essay, he discusses the sights, sounds, and smells of the Illinois State Fair to help emphasize his point about its strangeness. And in Baldwinâs essay, he describes shattered glass as a âwilderness,â and uses the feelings of his body to describe his mental state.
All these descriptions anchor us not only in the story, but in the motifs and themes as well. One of the tools of a writer is making the reader feel as you felt, and sensory details help you achieve that.
Whatâs Next?
Looking to brush up on your essay-writing capabilities before the ACT? This guide to ACT English will walk you through some of the best strategies and practice questions to get you prepared!
Part of practicing for the ACT is ensuring your word choice and diction are on point. Check out this guide to some of the most common errors on the ACT English section to be sure that you're not making these common mistakes!
A solid understanding of English principles will help you make an effective point in a narrative essay, and you can get that understanding through taking a rigorous assortment of high school English classes !
Melissa Brinks graduated from the University of Washington in 2014 with a Bachelor's in English with a creative writing emphasis. She has spent several years tutoring K-12 students in many subjects, including in SAT prep, to help them prepare for their college education.
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Essay Introduction Examples
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Written by Scribendi
Always have a road map for an essay introduction . Having a strong essay introduction structure is critical to a successful paper. It sets the tone for the reader and interests them in your work. It also tells them what the essay is about and why they should read it at all.
It shouldn't leave the reader confused with a cliffhanger at the end. Instead, it should generate interest and guide the reader to Chapter One. Using the right parts of an essay introduction can help with this.
Check out an effective essay introduction structure below. It’s a road map for writing an essay—just like the parts of essay introductions are road maps for readers.
Essay Introduction Structure
Attention-grabbing start
Outline of argument
Thesis statement
Some academics find the beginning the most difficult part of writing an essay , so our editors have created some examples of good essay introductions to guide you. Let's take a look at the samples below to see how the essay introduction structures come together.
If you are unsure about your paper, our essay editors would love to give you some feedback on how to write an essay introduction.
[1] According to Paul Ratsmith, the tenuous but nonetheless important relationship between pumpkins and rats is little understood: "While I've always been fascinated by this natural kinship, the connection between pumpkins and rats has been the subject of few, if any, other studies" (2008). [2] Ratsmith has been studying this connection, something he coined "pumpkinology," since the early 1990s. He is most well known for documenting the three years he spent living in the wild among pumpkins and rats. [3] Though it is a topic of little recent interest, the relationship has been noted in several ancient texts and seems to have been well understood by the Romans. Critics of Ratsmith have cited poor science and questionable methodology when dismissing his results, going so far as to call pumpkinology "rubbish" (de Vil, 2009), "stupid" (Claw, 2010), and "quite possibly made up" (Igthorn, 2009). [4] Despite these criticisms, there does appear to be a strong correlation between pumpkin patches and rat populations, with Ratsmith documenting numerous pumpkin–rat colonies across North America, leading to the conclusion that pumpkins and rats are indeed "nature's best friends" (2008).
Let's break down this example of a good essay introduction structure. The beginning hooks our attention from the get-go in section one. This is because it piques our curiosity. What is this strange relationship? Why has no one studied it? Then, section two gives us context for the topic. Ratsmith is an expert in a controversial field: pumpkinology. It's the study of the connection between pumpkins and rats.
The second half of the paragraph also demonstrates why this is a good essay introduction example. Section three gives us the main argument: the topic is rarely studied because critics think Ratsmith's work is "rubbish," but the relationship between pumpkins and rats has ancient roots. Then section four gives us the thesis statement: Ratsmith's work has some merit.
The parts of an essay introduction help us chart a course through the topic. We know the paper will take us on a journey. It's all because the author practiced how to write an essay introduction.
Let’s take a look at another example of a good essay introduction.
[1] Societies have long believed that if a black cat crosses one's path, one might have bad luck—but it wasn't until King Charles I's black cat died that the ruler's bad luck began (Pemberton, 2018). [2] Indeed, for centuries, black cats have been seen as the familiars of witches—as demonic associates of Satan who disrespect authority (Yuko, 2021). Yet, they have also been associated with good luck, from England's rulers to long-distance sailors (Cole, 2021). [3] This essay shows how outdated the bad luck superstition really is. It provides a comprehensive history of the belief and then provides proof that this superstition has no place in today's modern society. [4] It argues that despite the prevailing belief that animals cause bad luck, black cats often bring what seems to be "good luck" and deserve a new reputation.
This example of a good essay introduction pulls us in right away. This is because section one provides an interesting fact about King Charles I. What is the story there, and what bad luck did he experience after his cat passed away? Then, section two provides us with general information about the current status of black cats. We understand the context of the essay and why the topic is controversial.
Section three then gives us a road map that leads us through the main arguments. Finally, section four gives us the essay's thesis: "black cats often bring what seems to be 'good luck' and deserve a new reputation."
Still feeling unsure about how to write an essay introduction? Here's another example using the essay introduction structure we discussed earlier.
[1] When the Lutz family moved into a new house in Amityville, New York, they found themselves terrorized by a vengeful ghost (Labianca, 2021). Since then, their famous tale has been debunked by scientists and the family themselves (Smith, 2005). [2] Yet ghost stories have gripped human consciousness for centuries (History, 2009). Scientists, researchers, and theorists alike have argued whether ghosts are simply figments of the imagination or real things that go bump in the night. In considering this question, many scientists have stated that ghosts may actually exist. [3] Lindley (2017) believes the answer may be in the quantum world, which "just doesn’t work the way the world around us works," but "we don’t really have the concepts to deal with it." Scientific studies on the existence of ghosts date back hundreds of years (History, 2009), and technology has undergone a vast evolution since then (Lamey, 2018). State-of-the-art tools and concepts can now reveal more about ghosts than we've ever known (Kane, 2015). [4] This essay uses these tools to provide definitive proof of the existence of ghosts in the quantum realm.
This example of a good essay introduction uses a slightly different strategy than the others. To hook the reader, it begins with an interesting anecdote related to the topic. That pulls us in, making us wonder what really happened to the Lutzs. Then, section two provides us with some background information about the topic to help us understand. Many people believe ghosts aren't real, but some scientists think they are.
This immediately flows into section three, which charts a course through the main arguments the essay will make. Finally, it ends with the essay's thesis: there is definitive proof of the existence of ghosts in the quantum realm. It all works because the author used the parts of an essay introduction well.
For attention-grabbing introductions, an understanding of essay introduction structure and how to write an essay introduction is required.
Our essay introduction examples showing the parts of an essay introduction will help you craft the beginning paragraph you need to start your writing journey on the right foot.
If you'd like more personalized attention to your essay, consider sending it for Essay Editing by Scribendi. We can help you ensure that your essay starts off strong.
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Good and Evil in Greek Mythology
This essay about the concept of evil in Greek mythology examines how the gods and goddesses embody human flaws such as jealousy, wrath, and deceit, rather than purely representing virtue. It highlights that these deities often display a spectrum of behaviors, with some actions leaning towards what might be considered malevolent. The essay discusses notable gods like Zeus, who, despite being the king of gods, is known for his unjust punitive actions and numerous affairs. It also covers Hades, often misunderstood due to his association with death, presenting him as a stern yet just ruler. Additionally, the god of war, Ares, and the goddess of strife, Eris, are explored as figures who revel in chaos and conflict, further complicating the notion of divine morality. Through these characters, Greek mythology illustrates the complex nature of power and morality, teaching moral lessons through the gods’ varied actions and highlighting the nuanced portrayal of these deities as capable of both good and evil, much like humans.
How it works
Embedded within the intricate mosaic of Greek mythology, the divine pantheon represents not merely paragons of virtue and ethical righteousness but also encapsulates human frailties, encompassing envy, fury, and duplicity. The notion of âevilâ in Greek mythos is multifaceted and often contingent upon circumstances, reflecting the nuanced ethical landscape of ancient Greek society. Unlike the stark dichotomy of good versus evil prevalent in contemporary narratives, Greek gods and goddesses frequently embody a spectrum of actions and motivations, some of which may incline towards malevolence or harm.
An exemplar of a deity embodying traits conventionally associated with malevolence is Zeus. Despite his status as the sovereign of the gods and the epitome of regal virtues, Zeus is infamous for his myriad dalliances and capricious dispensations of punishment, often guided by personal desires or the imperative to assert dominance. His actions, at times, veer from justice, driven instead by whims or desires, as evidenced by his transmutation of Lycaon into a wolfâa penalty for the attempted presentation of human fleshâan act reflective of his propensity for severe retribution.
Hades, the lord of the underworld, is another deity frequently maligned as malevolent, primarily due to his association with death. However, Greek mythology portrays him more as a stern yet equitable ruler rather than an inherently malevolent entity. Perhaps his most notorious act, the abduction of Persephone, while unsettling, portrays him as a nuanced figure burdened by isolation and the obligations of his somber realm, rather than motivated solely by malice.
Ares, the god of war, personifies the physical violence and devastation inherent in warfare. Reveling in the chaos of battle, he is depicted as ferocious and unyielding, with scant narratives highlighting virtuous attributes. This depiction stands in stark contrast to that of Athena, the goddess of strategic warfare, who embodies the nobler aspects of conflict. Aresâ penchant for conflict and his mercurial temper align him more closely with the archetype of a malevolent deity within the Greek pantheon.
Furthermore, the goddess Eris, representing strife and discord, epitomizes the deleterious impact of envy and contention. Her exploits in Greek mythology, particularly her instigation of the Trojan War through the bestowal of a golden apple inscribed âTo the fairest,â underscore her role in fomenting discord. Eris thrives amidst conflict and disorder, positioning her as one of the more unequivocally malevolent figures in Greek lore.
The depiction of evil within these narratives serves not merely as entertainment but as a vehicle for imparting moral teachings regarding the intricacies of power dynamics, the repercussions of excess, and the imperative of equilibrium and justice in human affairs. Greek myths impart wisdom through the triumphs and failings of their divine cast, illustrating that actions motivated by greed, vengeance, or disregard for the autonomy of others invariably culminate in ruin and suffering.
In summation, while the concept of âevilâ may not seamlessly align with the attributes of Greek deities, numerous divine figures exhibit behaviors that contemporary audiences would perceive as morally ambiguous or overtly negative. These tales reflect the values of ancient Greece and its perception of the cosmos, wherein gods, akin to mortals, oscillate between benevolence and cruelty, embodying the entirety of human emotions and motivations. This nuanced portrayal of the divine offers a more authentic and relatable pantheon, wherein gods are fallible yet capable of both greatness and transgression.
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Speech Writing
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Public speaking can be daunting for students. They often struggle to start, engage the audience, and be memorable. It's a fear of forgetting words or losing the audience's interest.
This leads to anxiety and self-doubt. Students wonder, "Am I boring them? Will they remember what I say? How can I make my speech better?"
The solution lies in speech examples. In this guide, we'll explore these examples to help students create captivating and memorable speeches with confidence.
So, keep reading to find helpful examples!
- 1. Speech Examples
- 2. Tips to Write a Good Speech
Speech Examples
Talking in front of a bunch of audiences is not as easy as it seems. But, if you have some good content to deliver or share with the audience, the confidence comes naturally.
Before you start writing your speech, it is a good idea that you go through some good speech samples. The samples will help to learn how to start the speech and put information into a proper structure.
Speech Examples for Students
Speech writing is a huge part of academic life. These types of writing help enhance the creative writing skills of students.
Here is an amazing farewell speech sample for students to learn how to write an amazing speech that will captivate the audience.
Below, you will find other downloadable PDF samples.
Speech Examples for Students
Every school and college has a student council. And every year, students elect themselves to be a part of the student council. It is mandatory to impress the student audience to get their votes. And for that, the candidate has to give an impressive speech.
Here are some speech examples pdf for students.
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Persuasive Speech Examples
The main purpose of a speech is to persuade the audience or convince them of what you say. And when it comes to persuasive speech , the sole purpose of speech becomes more specific.
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Informative Speech Examples
Informative speeches are intended to inform the audience. These types of speeches are designed to provide a detailed description of the chosen topic.
Below we have provided samples of informative speech for you.
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Informative Speech Sample
Entertainment Speech Examples
Entertainment speeches are meant to entertain the audience. These types of speeches are funny, as well as interesting. The given speech samples will help you in writing an entertaining speech.
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Entertainment Speech Sample
Argumentative Speech Examples
Making a strong argument that is capable of convincing others is always difficult. And, when it comes to making a claim in an argumentative speech, it becomes more difficult.
Check out the argumentative speech sample that demonstrates explicitly how an argumentative speech needs to be written.
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Demonstration Speech Examples
The demonstrative speeches are intended to demonstrate or describe the speech topic in depth. Get inspired by the demonstrative speech sample given below and write a captivating demonstrative speech.
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Motivational Speech Examples
Motivational speeches are designed to motivate the audience to do something. Read out the sample motivational speech given below and learn the art of motivational speech writing.
Impromptu Speech Examples
Impromptu speech writing makes you nervous as you are not good at planning and organization?
Check out the sample impromptu speech and learn to make bullet points of your thoughts and plan your speech properly.
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Are you graduating soon and need to write a graduation farewell speech?
Below is a sample graduation speech for your help.
Wedding Speech Examples
âMy best friendâs wedding is next week, and Iâm the maid of honor. She asked me to give the maid of honor speech, but Iâm not good at expressing emotions. Iâm really stressed. I donât know what to do.â
If you are one of these kinds of people who feel the same way, this sample is for you. Read the example given below and take help from it to write a special maid of honor speech.
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A speech essay is a type of essay that you write before writing a proper speech. It helps in organizing thoughts and information.
Here is a sample of speech essays for you to understand the difference between speech format and speech essay format.
Tips to Write a Good Speech
Reading some famous and incredible sample speeches before writing your own speech is really a good idea. The other way to write an impressive speech is to follow the basic tips given by professional writers.
- Audience Analysis: Understand your audience's interests, knowledge, and expectations. Tailor your speech to resonate with them.
- Clear Purpose: Define a clear and concise purpose for your speech. Ensure your audience knows what to expect right from the beginning.
- Engaging Opening: Start with a captivating hook â a story, question, quote, or surprising fact to grab your audience's attention.
- Main Message: Identify and convey your main message or thesis throughout your speech.
- Logical Structure: Organize your speech with a clear structure, including an introduction, body, and conclusion.
- Transitions: Use smooth transitions to guide your audience through different parts of your speech.
- Conversational Tone: Use simple, conversational language to make your speech accessible to everyone.
- Timing: Respect the allocated time and write the speech accordingly. An overly long or short speech can diminish the audience's engagement.
- Emotional Connection: Use storytelling and relatable examples to evoke emotions and connect with your audience.
- Call to Action (if appropriate): Encourage your audience to take action, change their thinking, or ponder new ideas.
- Practice Natural Pace: Speak at a natural pace, avoiding rushing or speaking too slowly.
So, now you know that effective communication is a powerful tool that allows you to inform, persuade, and inspire your audience. Throughout this blog, we've provided you with numerous examples and invaluable tips to help you craft a compelling speech.
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Lessons from Amazonâs Early Growth Strategy
If you’re interested in strategies for scaling start-ups, this episode is for you.
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So much has been written about Amazon’s outsized growth. But Harvard Business School professor Sunil Gupta says it’s the company’s unusual approach to strategy that has captured his scholarly attention. Gupta has spent years studying Amazon’s strategy and its founder and former CEO Jeff Bezos.
In this episode, Gupta shares how Amazon upended traditional corporate strategy by diversifying into multiple products serving many end users, instead of having a narrow focus.
He argues that some of Amazon’s simplest business strategies — like their obsession with customers and insistence on long-term thinking — are approaches that companies, big and small, can emulate.
Key episode topics include: strategy, innovation, leadership, scaling, Jeff Bezos, long-term thinking, customer focus.
HBR On Strategy curates the best case studies and conversations with the world’s top business and management experts, to help you unlock new ways of doing business. New episodes every week.
- Listen to the full HBR IdeaCast episode: How Jeff Bezos Built One of the World’s Most Valuable Companies (2020)
- Find more episodes of HBR IdeaCast
- Discover 100 years of Harvard Business Review articles, case studies, podcasts, and more at HBR.org .
HANNAH BATES: Welcome to HBR On Strategy , case studies and conversations with the world’s top business and management experts, hand-selected to help you unlock new ways of doing business.
So much has been written about Amazon’s outsized growth. But Harvard Business School professor Sunil Gupta says it’s the company’s unusual approach to strategy that has captured his scholarly attention.
Gupta has spent years studying Amazon’s strategy and its founder and former CEO, Jeff Bezos.
In this episode, Gupta shares how Amazon upended traditional corporate strategy by diversifying into multiple products serving many end users instead of focusing more narrowly.
And he argues that some of their simplest business strategies – like their obsession with the customer and insistence on long-term thinking – are approaches that companies, big and small, should emulate.
If you’re interested in innovation strategy, this episode is for you. It originally aired on HBR IdeaCast in November 2020. Here it is.
ALISON BEARD: Welcome to the HBR IdeaCast from Harvard Business Review. I’m Alison Beard.
If you had to name the most successful business leader alive today, who would you say? I can’t hear you from my basement podcasting room, but I would bet that for many of you, the answer is Jeff Bezos, CEO of Amazon. This is a man who over the past 25 years turned his online bookstore startup into a diversified company currently valued at $1.6 trillion.
Amazon is a digital retailing juggernaut, it’s also a web services provider, media producer, and manufacturer of personal technology devices like Kindle and Echo. Oh, and Bezos also owns the Washington Post and Blue Origin, a space exploration company. Forbes tells us he is the richest person in the world.
How did he accomplish so much? How did he change the business landscape? What mistakes has he made along the way? A new collection of Bezos’s own writing, which full disclosure, my colleagues at Harvard Business Review Press have published, offer some insights. Here’s a clip from one speech that’s included. The book is called Invent and Wander.
And our guest today, who has spent years studying both Amazon and Bezos, is here to talk with me about some of the key themes in it, including the broad drivers of both the company and the CEO’s success. Sunil Gupta is a professor of business administration at Harvard Business School and cochair of its executive program, and cochair of its executive program on driving digital strategy, which is also the title of his book. Sunil, thanks so much for being on the show.
SUNIL GUPTA: Thank you for having me, Alison.
ALISON BEARD: So Invent and Wander. I get that Bezos is inventive. You know, he created a new way for us to buy things – everything. How is he also a wonderer?
SUNIL GUPTA: So he’s full of experiments. His company and his whole style is known for experimentation, and he says that in so many words that if you want big winners, then you have to be willing to have many failures. And the argument is, one big winner will take care of a thousand failed experiments. So I think that’s the wandering part. But also his experiments are not aimless. There is a certain thought and process behind what experiments to do and why they will connect to the old, old picture of what Amazon is today.
ALISON BEARD: And your expertise is in digital strategy. How does he break the traditional rules of strategy?
SUNIL GUPTA: So for the longest time the way, at least I was taught in my MBA program and the way we teach to our MBA students and executives, is strategy is about focus. But if you look at Amazon, Amazon certainly doesn’t look like it’s focusing on anything, so obviously Jeff Bezos missed that class, otherwise it’s a very, very different thing.
And then you’d say, why is it that so called lack of focus strategy seems to be working for Amazon? And I think the fundamental underlying principle that he’s guiding his whole discussion of strategy is, he’s changed the rules of strategy. So the old rules of strategy were, the way you gained competitive advantage is by being better or cheaper. So if I am selling you a car, my car is better of cheaper. But the inherent assumption in that strategy statement is, I’m selling one product to one customer. And what Amazon is basically arguing is, the digital economy is all about connection. We have got to connect products and connect customers. Let me explain why that is so powerful.
So connecting products, here the idea is, I can sell you, this is a classic razor and blade strategy. I can sell you a razor cheap in order to make money on the blade. So I can sell you Kindle cheap in order to make money on the ebooks. Now, at some level you might say, hey, razor and blade have been around forever. What’s so unique today? I think unique today is razor could be in one industry and blades could be in completely different industrys.
So for example, if you look at Amazon’s portfolio of businesses, you sort of say, not only Amazon is an e-commerce player, but also is making movies and TV shows, its own studio. Well, why does it make sense for an e-commerce player, an online retailer to compete with Hollywood. Well, Walmart doesn’t make movies. Macy’s doesn’t make movies? So why does it make sense for Amazon to make movies?
And I think once you dig into it, the answer becomes clear that the purpose of the movies is to keep and gain the Prime customers. Two day free shipping is fine, but if you ask me to pay $99 or $119 for two day free shipping, I might start doing the math in my head, and say, OK, how many packages do I expect to get next year? And is the Prime membership worth it or not?
But once you throw in, in addition to the two-day free shipping, you throw in some TV shows and movies that are uniquely found only on Amazon, I can’t do this math. And why is Prime customers important to Amazon? Because Prime customers are more loyal. They buy three or four times more than the non-Prime customers, and they’re also less price sensitive.
And in fact, Jeff Bezos has said publicly that every time we win a Golden Globe Award for one of our shows, we sell more shoes. So this is, and he said it in your book, Invent and Wander, also, that we might be the only company in the world which has figured out how winning Golden Globe Awards can actually translate into selling more products on the online commerce.
So this is a great example of the razor being in a very different industry and blade being in another industry. Take another example. Amazon has a lending business where they give loans to small and medium enterprises. If Amazon decides to compete with banks tomorrow, Amazon can decide to offer loans to the small merchants at such a low price that banks would never be able to compete. And why would Amazon be able to do that? Because Amazon can say, hey, I’m not going to make money on loans, as much money on loans, but I’ll make more money when these businesses, small businesses grow and do more transactions on my marketplace platform. And I get more commissions. So again, loan can become my razor in order to help the merchants grow and make money on the transaction and the commission that I get from that. The moment I make somebody else’s, in this case the banks, core business my razor, they will make a very hard time competing. So I think that’s the key change, the fundamental rules of strategy and competition in that direction.
The second part of connection is connecting customers, and this is the classic network effect. So marketplace is a great example of network effects. The more buyers I have, the more sellers I have. The more sellers I have, the sellers I have, the more buyers I get, because the buyers can find all the items. And that becomes flywheel effect, and it becomes a situation where it’s very hard for a new player to complete with Amazon.
ALISON BEARD: In this diversification that Amazon has done, how have they managed to be good at all of those things? Because they’re not focused. You know, they’re not concentrated on an area of specific expertise. So how have they succeeded when other companies might have failed because they lacked that expertise, or they were spreading themselves too thin?
SUNIL GUPTA: So I think it depends on how you define focus. Most of us, when we define focus, we sort of define focus by traditional industry boundaries, that I’m an online retailer, therefore going into some other business is lack of focus. The way Amazon thinks about is focus on capabilities.
So if you look at it from that point of view, I would argue that Amazon had three fundamental core capabilities. Number one, it’s highly customer focused, not only in its culture, but also in its capability in terms of how it can actually handle data and leverage data to get customer insight. The second core capability of Amazon is logistics. So it’s now a world class logistics player. It uses really frontier technology, whether it’s key word, robotics, computer vision, in its warehouse to make it much more efficient.
And the third part of Amazon’s skill or the capability is its technology. And a good example of that is Amazon Web Services, or AWS. And I think if you look at these three core capabilities, customer focus and the data insight that it gets from that, the logistics capability, and the technology, everything that Amazon is doing is some way or the other connected to it. In that sense, Amazon, and there’s no lack of focus, in my judgment on Amazon.
Now, if he starts doing, starts making cream cheese tomorrow or starts making airplane engines, then I would say, yes, it’s got a lack of focus. But one of the other things that Jeff Bezos has said again and again is this notion of work backwards and scale forward. And what that means is, because you’re customer obsessed, you sort of find ways to satisfy customers, and if that means developing new skills that we don’t have because we are working backwards from what the customer needs are, then we’ll build those skills.
So a good example of that is, when Amazon started building Kindle, Amazon was never in the hardware business. It didn’t know how to build hardware. But Bezos realized that as the industry moved, people are beginning to read more and more online, rather, or at least on their devices, rather than the physical paper copy of a book. So as a result, he says, how do we make it easier for consumers to read it on an electronic version? And they’re spending three years learning about this capability of hardware manufacturing. And by the way, Kindle came out long before iPad came out. And of course, that capability now has helped them launch Echo and many other devices.
ALISON BEARD: Right. So it’s the focus on the customer, plus a willingness to go outside your comfort zone, the wander part.
SUNIL GUPTA: Exactly.
ALISON BEARD: Yeah. How would you describe Bezos’s leadership style?
SUNIL GUPTA: So I think there are at least three parts to it. One is, he said right from day one that he wants to be a long-term focus. The second thing is being customer obsessed. And many times he has said that he can imagine, in the meetings he wants people to imagine an empty chair. That is basically for the customer. And he says, we are not competitor focused. We are not product focused. We are not technology focused. We are customer focused. And the third is, willingness to experiment. And fail, and build that culture in the company that it’s OK to fail.
ALISON BEARD: What about personally, though? Is he a hard charger? Is he an active listener? What’s it like to be in a room with him?
SUNIL GUPTA: Oh, he’s certainly a hard charger. I mean, he’s also the kind of guy, when he hires people, he says, you can work long, hard, or smart. But at Amazon, you can choose two out of three. And I think this is similar to many other leaders. If you look at Steve Jobs, he was also a very hard charging guy. And I think some people find it exhilarating to work with these kind of leaders. Some find it very tough.
ALISON BEARD: Do you think that he communicates differently from other successful CEOs?
SUNIL GUPTA: So the communication style that he has built in the company is the very famous now, there’s no PowerPoints. So it’s a very thoughtful discussion. You write six-page memos, which everybody, when their meeting starts, everybody sits down and actually reads the memo.
In fact, this was a very interesting experience that I had. One of my students, who was in the executive program, works at Amazon in Germany. And he is, he was at that point in time thinking of moving to another company and becoming a CEO of that company. So he said, can I talk to you about this change of career path that I’m thinking about? I said, sure. So we set up a time, and five minutes before our call, he sends me an email with a six-page memo. And I said, well, shouldn’t he have sent this to me before, so I could at least look at it? He says, no, that’s the Amazon style. We’ll sit in silence and read it together. And so I read it together, because then you’re completely focused on it. And then we can have a conversation. But this discipline of writing a six-page memo, it’s a very, very unique experience, because you actually have to think through all your arguments.
ALISON BEARD: You also mentioned the long term focus, and that really stood out for me, too, this idea that he is not at all thinking of next year. He’s thinking five years out, and sometimes even further. But as a public company, how has Amazon been able to stick to that? And is it replicable at other companies?
SUNIL GUPTA: I think it is replicable. It requires conviction, and it requires a way to articulate the vision to Wall Street that they can rally behind. And it’s completely replicable. There are other examples of companies who have followed a similar strategy. I mean, Netflix is a good example. Netflix hadn’t made money for a long period of time. But they sold the vision of what the future will look like, and Wall Street bought that vision.
Mastercard is exactly the same thing. Ajay Banga is giving three year guidance to Wall Street saying, this is my three-year plan, because things can change quarter to quarter. I’m still responsible to tell you what we are doing this quarter, but my strategy will not be guided by what happens today. It will be guided by the three-year plan that we have.
ALISON BEARD: There are so many companies now that go public without turning any profit, whereas Amazon now is printing money, and thus able to reinvest and have this grand vision. So at what point was Bezos able to say, right, we’re going to do it my way?
SUNIL GUPTA: I think he said it right from day one, except that people probably didn’t believe it. And in fact, one of the great examples of that was, when he was convinced about AWS, the Amazon Web Services, that was back in the early 2000s, when a majority of the Wall Street was not sure what Jeff Bezos was trying to do, because they say, hey, you are an online retailer. You have no business being in web services. That’s the business of IBM. And that’s a B2B business. You’re in a B2C business. Why are you going in there?
And Bezos said, well, we have plenty of practice of being misunderstood. And we will continue with our passion and vision, because we see the path. And now he’s proven it again and again why his vision is correct, and I think that could give us more faith and conviction to the Wall Street investors.
SUNIL GUPTA: Oh, absolutely. And he’s one of the persons who has his opinion, and you always surround yourself with people better than you.
ALISON BEARD: How has he managed to attract that talent when it is so fiercely competitive between Google, Facebook, all of these U.S. technology leaders?
SUNIL GUPTA: So a couple of things I would say. First of all, it’s always good fun to join a winning team. And all of us want to join a winning team, so this certainly is on a trajectory which is phenomenal. It’s like a rocket ship that is taking off and has been taking off for the last 25 years. So I think that’s certainly attractive to many people, and certainly many hard charging people who want to be on a winning team.
And a second thing is, Amazon’s culture of experimentation and innovation. That is energizing to a lot of people. It’s not a bureaucracy where you get bogged down by the processes. So the two type of decisions that we talked about, he gives you enough leeway to try different things, and is willing to invest hundreds of millions of dollars into things that may or may not succeed in the future. And I think that’s very liberating to people who are willing to take on the ownership and build something.
ALISON BEARD: But don’t all of the tech companies offer that?
SUNIL GUPTA: They do, but if you think about many other tech companies, they’re much more narrow in focus. So Facebook is primarily in social media. Google is primarily in search advertising. Yes, you have GoogleX, but that’s still a small part of what Google does. Whereas if you ask yourself what business is Amazon in, there are much broader expansive areas that Amazon has gone into. So I think the limits, I mean, Amazon does not have that many limits or boundaries as compared to many other businesses in Silicon Valley.
ALISON BEARD: So let’s talk a little bit about Bezos’s acquisition strategy. I think the most prominent is probably Whole Foods, but there are many others. How does he think about the companies that he wants to bring in as opposed to grow organically?
SUNIL GUPTA: So some acquisitions are areas where he thinks that he can actually benefit and accelerate the vision that he already has. So for example, the acquisition of Kiva was to improve the efficiency and effectiveness of the systems that he already put in place in his warehouse. And logistics and warehouse is a key component or key part of Amazon’s business, and he saw that Kiva already was ahead of the curve in technology that he probably wanted to have that in his own company. So that was obvious acquisition, because that fits in the existing business.
Whole Foods is kind of a slightly different story, in my judgment, because I some ways, you can argue, why is Amazon, an online player, buying an offline retail store, Whole Foods? And in fact, they bought it at 27% premium. So that doesn’t make sense for an online retailer commerce to go to offline channels. And I think, in fact, part of the reason in my judgment is, it’s not just Whole Foods, but it’s about the food business, per se. And why is Amazon so interested in food? In fact, Amazon has been trying this food business, online food delivery for a long period of time without much success. And Whole Foods was one, another way to try and get access to that particular business. And why is that so important to Amazon, even though you could argue, food is a low margin business?
And I would say, part of the reason is, food is something, grocery is something that you buy every week, perhaps twice a week. And if I, as Amazon, can convince you to buy grocery online from Amazon, then I’m creating a habit for you to come onto Amazon every week, perhaps twice a week. And once you are on Amazon, you will end up buying other products on Amazon. Whereas if you are buying electronics, you may not come to Amazon every day.
So this is a habit creation activity, and again, it may not be a very high margin activity to sell you food. But I’ve created a habit, just like Prime. I’ve created a loyal customer where you think of nothing else but Amazon for your daily needs, and therefore you end up buying other things.
ALISON BEARD: And Amazon isn’t without controversy. You know, and we should talk about that, too. First, there are questions about its treatment of warehouse employees, particularly during COVID. And Bezos, as you said, has always been relentlessly focused on the customer. But is Amazon employee centric, too?
SUNIL GUPTA: So I think there is definitely some areas of concern, and you rightly said there is a significant concern about the, during the COVID, workers were complaining about safety, the right kind of equipment. But even before COVID, there were a lot of concerns about whether the workers are being pushed too hard. They barely have any breaks. And they’re constantly on the go, because speed and efficiency become that much more important to make sure customers always get what they are promised. And in fact, more than promised.
Clearly Amazon either hasn’t done a good job, or hasn’t at least done the public relations part of it that they have done a good job. Now, if you ask Jeff Bezos, he will claim that, no, actually, they have done things. For example, they offer something called carrier choice, where they give 95% tuition to the employees to learn new skills, whether they’re relevant to Amazon or not. Pretty much like what Starbucks does for its baristas, for college education and other things. But I think more than just giving money or tuition, it requires a bit of empathy and sense that you care for your employees, and perhaps that needs, that’s something that Amazon needs to work on.
ALISON BEARD: And another challenge is the criticism that it has decimated mom and pop shops. Even when someone sells through Amazon, the company will then see that it’s a popular category and create it itself and start selling it itself. There’s environmental concerns about the fact that packages are being driven from warehouses to front doors all over America. And boxes and packaging. So how has Bezos, how has the company dealt with all of that criticism?
SUNIL GUPTA: They haven’t. And I think those are absolutely valid concerns on both counts, that the small sellers who grow to become reasonably big are always under the radar, and there are certainly anecdotal evidence there, small sellers have complained that Amazon had decided to sell exactly the same item that they were so successful in selling, and becoming too big is actually not good on Amazon, because Amazon can get into your business and wipe you away. So that’s certainly a big concern, and I think that’s something that needs to be sorted out, and Amazon needs to clarify what its position on that area is, because it benefits from these small sellers on his platform.
And your second question about environmental issues is also absolutely on the money, because not only emission issues, but there’s so many boxes that pile in, certainly in my basement, from Amazon. You sort of say, and it’s actually ironical that Millennials who are in love with Amazon are extremely environmentally friendly. But at the same time, they would not hesitate to order something from Amazon and pile up all these boxes. So I think Amazon needs to figure out a way to think about both those issues.
ALISON BEARD: And at what point will it have to? I mean, it seems to be rolling happily along.
SUNIL GUPTA: Well, I think those issues are becoming bigger and bigger, and it’s certainly in the eye of the regulators, also, for some of these practices. And not only because it’s too big, and there might be monopoly concerns, but these issues will become larger, and any time you become a large company, you become the center of attraction for broader issues than just providing shareholder value.
ALISON BEARD: Yeah. So those are weaknesses possibly for the company. What are some of Bezos’s personal weaknesses that you’ve seen in studying him and the company?
SUNIL GUPTA: So I think one thing that stands out to me, and at least in the public forums, I have not seen any empathy. And it’s, I mean, we talk about that the leaders have, should have three qualities. They should be competent. They should have a good character. And they should have compassion. So he’s certainly very competent. I mean, he’s brilliant in many aspects, right, from the computer vision and AI and machine learning, to the nuances of data analytics, to the Hollywood production, etc. He also seems to have good character, at least I have not heard any personal scandals, apart from his other issues in his personal life, perhaps.
Those characteristics of competence and character make people respect you. What makes people love you is when you show compassion, and at least I haven’t seen compassion or empathy that comes out of him. I mean, he certainly comes across as a very hard charging, driven person, which probably is good for business. But the question of empathy is perhaps something lacking right now.
ALISON BEARD: Yeah. The other issue is his just enormous wealth. He did invent this colossally valuable company, but should anyone really be that rich?
SUNIL GUPTA: Well, I guess that’s, you can say that’s the good or the bad thing about capitalism. But I think, and again, my personal view is there’s nothing wrong in becoming rich, if you have been successful and done it with hard work and ingenuity. But how you use your wealth is something that perhaps will define Jeff Bezos going forward. I think Bill Gates is a great example how he actually has used his wealth and his influence and his expertise and his brilliance into some certain thing that actually is great for humanity.
Now, whether Jeff Bezos does that down the road, I don’t know, whether his space exploration provides that sort of outlet which is both his passion as well as good for humanity, I don’t know. But at some point in time, I think it’s the responsibility of these leaders to sort of say, my goal is not simply to make money and make my shareholders rich, but also help humanity and help society.
ALISON BEARD: If you’re talking to someone who’s running a startup, or even a manager of a team at a traditional company, what is the key lesson that you would say, this is what you can learn from Jeff Bezos? This is what you can put to work in your own profession?
SUNIL GUPTA: So I would say two things that at least I would take away if I were doing a startup. One is customer obsession. Now, every company says that, but honestly, not every company does it, because if you go to the management meetings, if you go to the quarterly meetings, you suddenly go focus on financials and competition and product. But there’s rarely any conversation on customers. And I think, as I mentioned earlier, that Jeff Bezos always tells his employee to think of the imaginary chair in which a customer is sitting, because that’s the person that we need to focus on. Howard Shultz does the same thing at Starbucks, and that’s why Starbucks is so customer focused.
So I think that’s the first part. And the argument that Bezos gives is, customers are never satisfied. And that pushes us to innovate and move forward, so we need to innovate even before the rest of the world even sees that, because customers are the first ones to see what is missing in the offering that you have.
And the second I would say that I would take away from Jeff Bezos is the conviction and passion with what you do. And many times that goes against the conventional wisdom. And the Amazon Web Services is a great example of that. The whole world, including the Wall Street Journal and the Wall Street analysts were saying, this is none of Amazon’s business to do web services. But he was convinced that this is the right thing to do, and he went and did that.
And part of that conviction may come from experiments. Part of that conviction comes from connecting the dots that he could see that many other people didn’t see. I mean, that’s why he went, left his job, and went to Seattle to do the online bookstore, because he could see the macro trends as to what the Internet is likely to do. So, I think that’s the vision that he had. And once you have the conviction, then you follow your passion.
ALISON BEARD: Sunil, thanks so much for coming on the show.
SUNIL GUPTA: Thank you for having me. Alison.
HANNAH BATES: That was Harvard Business School professor Sunil Gupta, in conversation with Alison Beard on the HBR IdeaCast .
We’ll be back next Wednesday with another hand-picked conversation about business strategy from Harvard Business Review. If you found this episode helpful, share it with your friends and colleagues, and follow our show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. While you’re there, be sure to leave us a review.
And when you’re ready for more podcasts, articles, case studies, books, and videos with the world’s top business and management experts, find it all at HBR.org.
This episode was produced by Mary Dooe, Anne Saini, and me, Hannah Bates. Ian Fox is our editor. And special thanks to Maureen Hoch, Nicole Smith, Erica Truxler, Ramsey Khabbaz, Anne Bartholomew, and you – our listener. See you next week.
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