transferred intent essay

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4 Transferred Intent

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• Published: March 2010
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If A tries to kill B but kills C instead, A is guilty of murder by the doctrine of transferred intent. This chapter attempts to identify a principled rationale for this doctrine, and to apply this rationale to cases that deviate from the above paradigm in a variety of interesting respects. It suggests that sometimes it might be fair and just to sentence people for a crime even though their conduct did not satisfy each of its material elements.

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Legal Dictionary

The Law Dictionary for Everyone

Transferred Intent

The legal term transferred intent is often summed up with the phrase “the intent follows the bullet.” What this means is that, if someone intends to shoot Person A, he will be held liable when the bullet that leaves his gun also injures Person B in the process. The offender’s intent is effectively “transferred” between the two victims. However, intent can only be “transferred” between crimes of a similar nature. For example, transferred intent can only be applicable to two people or two pieces of property. To explore this concept, consider the following transferred intent definition.

Definition of Transferred Intent

• A doctrine that holds an offender accountable for crime B that accidentally occurs as the result of his intention to commit crime A.

Doctrine of Transferred Intent

The doctrine of transferred intent allows for a defendant to be held liable for crime B, even if it occurred accidentally as the result of his committing crime A. The doctrine of transferred intent can be applied if an offender commits one of the following five torts:

• False Imprisonment
• Trespass to land
• Trespass to chattels

Consider the following example of how the doctrine of transferred intent would be applied:

Karen is fed up with Shelly’s cat, which constantly digs up her flower beds, and uses them to toilet. Karen chases the cat off her property, pointing a gun at Shelly’s cat, with the intention of killing it. Karen shoots the gun, but instead of killing the cat, she misses and shoots Shelly in the foot. Here, two questions must be asked and answered:

• Question: If contact had been made with Shelly’s cat, would there have been a tort? Answer : Yes – a trespass to chattels, or an intention to interfere with someone’s enjoyment of his personal property.
• Question: If Shelly’s foot had been the intended target, would there have been a tort? Answer: Yes – battery.

Because the answer to both of these questions is “yes,” Karen’s intention to shoot the cat can be transferred to the resulting injury that Shelly suffered, and Karen can be held liable for the intentional tort of battery.

Intent can only be transferred between crimes of a similar nature. For example, transferred intent would not exist if Karen tried to shoot Shelly’s cat but missed and shot out a window. This is because the destruction of property is an entirely separate crime from the one that Karen had originally intended.

The way this is rationalized is that Karen has only one intent: to hurt Shelly’s cat. If a court found that Karen intended to destroy the window, then an intent would be assigned to Karen that she never actually possessed. Now, Karen would be assigned both the intent to kill and the intent to destroy property. However, if Karen intended to kill Shelly’s cat and killed her own cat by mistake, then there still exists only one intent: the intent to kill.

Mens Rea in Transferred Intent

Mens rea in transferred intent refers to a criminal’s state of mind upon committing a crime. His state of mind must be taken into consideration when deciding his intention in committing the crime and can be significant when transferring the intent. Mens rea in transferred intent is especially important when proving someone’s guilt in a criminal trial . To do this, the prosecution must be able to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that the defendant committed the crime while being in a guilty state of mind – that he had the intent to do harm. He must also be fully aware of his misconduct.

However, a defendant does not need to know his behavior is illegal to be guilty of a crime. Instead, he must be aware of the facts that make his behavior fit the definition of the crime of which he is accused. Even if a statute fails to mention the mental state that should govern the crime committed, the courts will usually demand that the government prove the defendant was in a guilty state of mind as he committed the crime. This is done to illustrate that the defendant was fully aware of his conduct at the time he committed the crime, and should therefore be punished accordingly.

There are four states of mind that are used to characterize how blameworthy an offender is upon committing a crime, and they are arranged from most to least serious: (1) purposeful, (2) knowing, (3) reckless, and (4) negligent. Therefore, taking this hierarchy into consideration, a person who commits a crime purposefully would receive a harsher sentence than someone who commits a crime due to negligence .

Determining the state of mind of the offender at the time that the crime is committed can be beneficial to finding mens rea in transferred intent. Once the offender’s mens rea has been established, the court will understand his intent, and can better determine if that intent can be transferred to a resulting crime.

Transferred Intent Example Involving an Angry Landowner

An example of transferred intent being contemplated by a court of law traces all the way back to 1894. On September 17, 1891, Charles Smith noticed a few of the neighborhood boys hanging out on the top of one of his sheds. He asked the boys to get down, and the boys immediately obeyed. However, before the boys could get down to the ground, Smith threw a stick at them, or at least in their direction. The stick measured two inches wide by 16 inches long.

The stick ended up missing the two boys Smith was allegedly aiming for, and hit a third boy, George Talmage’s son, right above his eye. The stick landed with such force that it caused the boy to go blind in that eye. Smith claimed not to have seen the Talmage boy, and that may have been the case, but others later stated that he was certainly visible from where Smith was standing.

Talmage’s father sued Smith for damages , and at the trial Smith’s counsel argued that Smith did not intend to hit anyone when he threw the stick. Further, counsel continued, if Smith did not know that Talmage was there, then Smith could not be held liable for injuring him.

Interestingly, the case proceeded to trial despite the fact that the parties had previously engaged in a conversation wherein they agreed to settle the matter for a certain amount of money. This conversation came to light during testimony given in the matter, however the circuit judge instructed the jury to disregard the conversation, and that the settlement proposition discussed between the parties should have no bearing on the jury’s decision. The judge further instructed the jury in this manner:

“If you conclude that Smith did not know the Talmage boy was on the shed, and that he did not intend to hit Smith, or the young man that was with him, but simply, by throwing the stick, intended to frighten Smith and the other young man that was there, and the club hit Talmage, and injured him, as claimed, then the plaintiff could not recover… But if you conclude from the evidence in the case that he threw the stick, intending to hit Smith, or the young man with him … and that that force was unreasonable force, under all the circumstances, then Smith … would be doing an unlawful act, if the force was unreasonable, because he had no right to use it … He would be liable, then, for the injury done to this boy with the stick, if he threw it intending to hit the young man Smith, or the young man that was with Smith on the roof, and the force that he was using, by the throwing of the club, was excessive and unreasonable, under all the circumstances of the case … if it was unreasonable and excessive, then he would be liable for the consequences of it, because he was doing an unlawful act in the outset; that is, he was using … excessive force against Smith and the young man to get them off the shed.”

A land owner is permitted by law to use reasonable force to convince a trespasser to leave the premises. Therefore, the issue here was whether Smith had used excessive force. The trial court found that Smith indeed used excessive force, and that there did exist a transferred intent.

Smith appealed the case to the Michigan Supreme Court. The Court affirmed the lower court’s decision, holding that:

“The right of the plaintiff to recover was made to depend upon an intention on the part of the defendant to hit somebody, and to inflict an unwarranted injury upon someone. Under these circumstances, the fact that the injury resulted to another than was intended does not relieve the defendant from responsibility .”

Related Legal Terms and Issues

• Assault – A physical attack.
• Battery – An intentional act that results in harmful or offensive contact with another person.
• Beyond a Reasonable Doubt – The standard of proof required in a criminal trial: that no other logical explanation exists, given the facts presented, that the accused committed the crime.
• Defendant – A party against whom a lawsuit has been filed in civil court, or who has been accused of, or charged with, a crime or offense.
• False Imprisonment – The unlawful restraint of a person within a limited area, depriving him of his right to freedom of movement. False or unlawful imprisonment applies to that committed by private individuals as well as governmental agencies.
• Intent – A resolve to perform an act for a specific purpose; a resolution to use a particular means to a specific end.
• Mens Rea – The intent to do wrong that constitutes part of a crime, as compared to the actual act or conduct of the accused.
• Tort – An intentional or negligent act, a civil wrong, as opposed to a criminal act, which causes harm to another.
• Trespass to Land – A crime that is committed when an individual enters the land of another without permission or a legitimate excuse.
• Trespass to Chattels – A crime that is committed when one party intentionally interferes with another person’s legal possession of a chattel .

transferred intent

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Transferred intent is used when a defendant intends to harm one victim, but then unintentionally harms a second victim instead. In this case, the defendant's intent transfers from the intended victim to the actual victim and can be used to satisfy the mens rea element of the crime that the defendant is being charged with. The transferred intent doctrine is only used for completed crimes, and is not used for attempted crimes.

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How to Write a College Transfer Essay (With Examples)

Lisa Freedland is a Scholarships360 writer with personal experience in psychological research and content writing. She has written content for an online fact-checking organization and has conducted research at the University of Southern California as well as the University of California, Irvine. Lisa graduated from the University of Southern California in Fall 2021 with a degree in Psychology.

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Bill Jack has over a decade of experience in college admissions and financial aid. Since 2008, he has worked at Colby College, Wesleyan University, University of Maine at Farmington, and Bates College.

According to the National Center for Education Statistics, over 1.2 million students are enrolled in college as a transfer student. Students may transfer for a variety of reasons ranging from academics to athletics to geography.

If you are in the process of transferring colleges it’s likely that you will have to write a personal essay as part of your transfer admissions process. Ultimately, there’s no one way to write a college transfer essay. Everyone is unique, and this individuality should shine through in your essays.

However, there are some recommended things to include, and even a real example essay that was used to successfully transfer college! In this post, we’ll help you write a powerful transfer essay so you can tell your story to the admissions committee.

Jump ahead to…

• Do’s and don’ts
• Why did you choose your current school?

What are your main reasons for transferring out of your current school?

Why do you want to attend the transfer school.

• Example essay

Additional resources

• Key takeaways
• Frequently asked questions

College transfer essays: The do’s and don’ts

Before we start, we want to cover a few basics do’s and don’ts about what your transfer essays should be about.

• Elaborate on how your current school has helped you progress towards your goals. Positivity is always a good thing!
• Research your prospective school (e.g. specific classes, organizations, opportunities) for why you want to go there.
• Make sure to follow the standard/correct essay format! Transfer essay prompts may vary from college to college so you should make sure that you’re answering the exact question.
• Use up your limited word count by listing negative aspects about your current school. Instead, focus on how it has helped you grow, but how another school could further help you develop your interests/passions 
• List a group of random classes or opportunities available at your new school. Mention opportunities you’re (genuinely) interested in that relate to your goals and passions – make sure you’re telling a story through your essay.
• Copy your initial admissions essay (the one that you used when applying to colleges in high school) – you’ve changed a lot during your time in college so you will want to write a brand new essay.

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What is the goal of the transfer essay.

Potential transfer students should know that not all colleges and universities require transfer essays, so when in doubt definitely check-in with the college in question for clarification. For the purposes of this article and the sample transfer essay, we’ll be using this prompt:

Please provide a statement that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve. 

Most colleges will be interested in learning why you want to transfer and how transferring will help you achieve your goals. However, specific prompts will vary from college to college, so you should definitely pay attention to the specific prompt you are asked to respond to.

Some of the common questions you’ll come across include:

• How will your transfer school help you accomplish your goals?

Below I’ll break down how to respond to each of these questions and include an example from a successful transfer essay.

Also see: Can you transfer into an ivy league school?

Why did you choose your current school? 

To answer this question, you’ll have to go back in time when you were in 12th grade and selecting your college. Did you choose the college because it had a program you liked? Maybe you really wanted to take classes with a specific professor? Maybe you thought you wanted to attend college in a specific part of the world? Whatever the reason you should lay it out in the most factual way possible.

Here’s how I responded to this question:

Just like Jeopardy, Criminal Minds is also a show that I have watched from a very young age, and one that I continue to watch quite regularly. Being exposed to this interesting world of FBI profilers for so long inspired me to want to dive into the world of psychology myself. Due to this, I originally chose the University of Wisconsin, Madison for its amazing psychology program, and because I wanted to try something new. Being from California, this “something new” came in the form of watching snow fall from the sky, seeing cheese curds being sold in all the grocery stores, and simply living somewhere far away from home.

Also see: How to write a 250 word essay

This is always an important question for transfer admissions officers: why did your current college not work out? We recommend that students be as honest as possible and stick to the facts (as opposed to simply complaining about your current school).

Students have very different reasons for changing schools, which often depend on what type of school you’re transferring from (a 2-year or 4-year). While many community college students transfer because their plans did work out and they’ve accomplished what they wanted to at their school, those transferring from four-year universities often do so for less positive reasons (which was my experience).

If the situation at your college didn’t exactly pan out as you thought it would, you should also try to talk about some of the ways you are making the most of the situation. This shows the admissions officers that despite the less-than-ideal circumstances, you have continued to learn, grow, and contribute to your community.

Here’s how I accomplished this:

Arriving in Wisconsin, I got exactly what I wanted: an amazing psychology program and the experience of being somewhere quite different from the place I called home. My classes were interesting, my professors were helpful and caring, and experiencing the first snow was quite exciting. However, as winter progressed, walking back from class everyday under the progressively gloomier sky seemed to be a cruel reminder that I was no longer in sunny Southern California. While eating dinner in our many dining halls, I always viewed the wide array of food available: quesadillas, Chinese food, burgers, even pecan pie. The food was all delicious, but going day after day without even seeing Korean food once made me miss those fun dinners with my family. Back at my dorm, my “home away from home”, it started to feel like anything but being at home. To feel more comfortable where I was, I decided to pursue things I liked, and that I was familiar with. My passion for psychology led me to join the university’s Psychology Club, where I was able to learn about recent revelations within the field of psychology, furthering my interest in the subject. 

Going through the admissions process as a transfer student is interesting, because you have learned a lot about yourself and your preferences at your first college. This should provide you with a great perspective on what you are looking for next.

The two major things you’ll want to accomplish when answering this question are why the transfer college in question is a good fit for you and how it can help you accomplish your goals as a student.

Specificity is always more ideal here so you can show that you have spent some time thinking about what you want and also how the new college fits.

Here’s how I did this:

I plan on using the knowledge I gain in psychology, either from organizations or classes, to help people. I want to one day apply this knowledge to research, to discover possible methods to help the people suffering from the psychological problems I study. Alternatively, I hope to use this knowledge as a criminal profiler, using my understanding of psychology to narrow down pools of suspects.  To be able to accomplish either of these, I need to develop a much deeper understanding of both people’s motivations for the things they do as well as of the many psychological issues people face. For these reasons, I am very excited at the prospect of exploring and enrolling in the classes offered by USC’s Department of Psychology. In particular, Psych 360: Abnormal Psychology would be an amazing introduction to psychological disorders and their causes. Psych 314L: Research Methods would then help me put this knowledge about disorders to good use by teaching me how to properly conduct research and find possible solutions for people’s problems.

College transfer essays: an example

Here we go! Throughout this article, I’ve shown you my college essay divided into sections, and now’s time for the full thing. I can honestly say that this essay had a 100% success rate! Without further ado, here is my full college transfer essay (and prompt):

Prompt: Please provide a statement that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve. 

I wake up from my daily after-school nap to realize that it is already dinner time. As I walk downstairs, I smell the delicious fragrance coming from my mom’s samgyetang (Korean ginseng chicken soup), one of my favorite meals. Soon enough, everyone sits down to watch the newest episode of Jeopardy , a tradition we’ve had going on for as long as I can remember. As I take that first sip of samgyetang, and miss yet another geography question on Jeopardy – and wait for my family to inevitably tease me about it – I feel at home, like I am somewhere that I belong. Wherever I go, I hope I can encounter that same warm feeling. Just like Jeopardy , Criminal Minds is also a show that I have watched from a very young age, and one that I continue to watch quite regularly. Being exposed to this interesting world of FBI profilers for so long inspired me to want to dive into the world of psychology myself. Due to this, I originally chose the University of Wisconsin, Madison for its amazing psychology program, and because I wanted to try something new. Being from California, this “something new” came in the form of watching snow fall from the sky, seeing cheese curds being sold in all the grocery stores, and simply living somewhere far away from home. Arriving in Wisconsin, I got exactly what I wanted: an amazing psychology program and the experience of being somewhere quite different from the place I called home. My classes were interesting, my professors were helpful and caring, and experiencing the first snow was quite exciting. However, as winter progressed, walking back from class everyday under the progressively gloomier sky seemed to be a cruel reminder that I was no longer in sunny Southern California. While eating dinner in our many dining halls, I always viewed the wide array of food available: quesadillas, Chinese food, burgers, even pecan pie. The food was all delicious, but going day after day without even seeing Korean food once, it made me miss those fun dinners with my family. Back at my dorm, my “home away from home,” it started to feel like anything but being at home. To feel more comfortable where I was, I decided to pursue things I liked, and that I was familiar with. My passion for psychology led me to join the university’s Psychology Club, where I was able to learn about recent revelations within the field of psychology, furthering my interest in the subject. I plan on using the knowledge I gain in psychology, either from organizations or classes, to help people. I want to one day apply this knowledge to research, to discover possible methods to help the people suffering from the psychological problems I study. Alternatively, I hope to use this knowledge as a criminal profiler, using my understanding of psychology to narrow down pools of suspects.  To be able to accomplish either of these, I need to develop a much deeper understanding of both people’s motivations for the things they do as well as of the many psychological issues people face. For these reasons, I am very excited at the prospect of exploring and enrolling in the classes offered by USC’s Department of Psychology. In particular, Psych 360: Abnormal Psychology would be an amazing introduction to psychological disorders and their causes. Psych 314L: Research Methods would then help me put this knowledge about disorders to good use by teaching me how to properly conduct research and find possible solutions for people’s problems. With so many opportunities available at USC, I hope to not only help others feel more comfortable, but to find a second home for myself after all.

And that’s it! This essay touches on all of the tips listed above, and should serve as helpful inspiration as you begin your writing. Hopefully, it gives you an idea of how to integrate everything you should mention in a cohesive essay. With that, I wish you good luck with your college transfer essays (and applications)!

Don’t miss: What looks good on a college application?

If you finish your essay and still have questions about the transfer process, consider checking out these Scholarships360 resources:

• How to transfer colleges
• How to transfer from a community college
• Top scholarships for transfer students
• How to choose a college
• What’s the difference between a private and public university?

Key Takeaways

• Explain why you want to transfer, what you need that you are not getting at your current school, and why you chose your current school to begin with
• Always present things in a positive light
• Share how the transfer school will help you achieve your goals and why you are a good fit for the school

Frequently asked questions about writing college transfer essays 

How are college transfer essays different from regular application essays, do all schools require transfer essays, can i reuse my old college essays for a transfer, what should you not say in a transfer essay, scholarships360 recommended.

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Transferred Intent

Transferred Intent Name Institutional Affiliation Transferred Intent Transferred intent is a situation whereby harm directed to a certain party unintentionally or mistakably causes harm to another party who was not initially the target (Reed, Bohlander, Wake & Smith, 2014). When the action hurts a third party, the culprit remains responsible for the malice and is legally responsible as per the law. In such a case, the court must prove that the perpetrator of the act had the intention to harm the other party and that they were aware the action would cause harm. A Demonstrative Story Jack and his friend Peter are drinking in a local bar when they get into a heated argument. Jack becomes so angry that he decides to fight Peter. He picks a glass to hit his friend with it. In his an attempt to defend himself, Peter ducks and the glass accidentally hits Liz, a lady seated next table with her boyfriend. Liz moves to court to file a case against Jack. In his defense at the court of law, Jack says that he did not intend to harm Liz and that the glass hit her accidentally. Jack would still be held culpable since his actions were aimed at harming another person though he ended up causing the harm to the wrong person. This story explains a case of transferred intent. The initial intention was to harm Peter. However, the glass mistakenly landed on Liz. Jack was aware that the glass would harm his friend and that was exactly his intention. He would be held guilty because despite harming the wrong target, his sole intention was to harm.

Wait! Transferred Intent paper is just an example!

In fact, he can be charged with two crimes. The first crime is attempted assault which was directed towards Peter. Second crime would be causing harm to Liz. References Reed, A., Bohlander, M., Wake, N., & Smith, E. (2014). General defences in criminal law: Domestic and comparative perspectives. Farnham, Surrey, UK: Ashgate

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Sample College Transfer Essay

A Sample Essay by a Student Transferring From Amherst to Penn

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The following sample essay was written by a student named David. He wrote the transfer essay below for the Common Transfer Application in response to the prompt, "Please provide a statement that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve" (250 to 650 words). David is attempting to transfer from Amherst College to the University of Pennsylvania . As far as admissions standards go, this is a lateral move—both schools are extremely selective. His letter will need to be extremely strong for his transfer application to be successful.

Key Takeaways: A Winning Transfer Essay

• Have a clear academic reason for your transfer. Personal reasons are fine, but academics need to come first.
• Stay positive. Don't speak badly of your current school. Emphasize what you like about your target school, not what you dislike about your current school.
• Be meticulous. Grammar, punctuation, and style matter. Show that you put time and care into your writing.

David's Transfer Application Essay

During the summer after my first year of college, I spent six weeks volunteering at an archaeological excavation in Hazor, site of the largest tel (mound) in Israel. My time in Hazor was not easy—wake-up came at 4:00 a.m., and by noontime temperatures were often in the 90s. The dig was sweaty, dusty, back-breaking work. I wore out two pairs of gloves and the knees in several pairs of khakis. Nevertheless, I loved every minute of my time in Israel. I met interesting people from around the world, worked with amazing students and faculty from Hebrew University, and became fascinated with the current efforts to create a portrait of life in the Canaanite period.

Upon my return to Amherst College for my sophomore year, I soon came to realize that the school does not offer the exact major I now hope to pursue. I'm majoring in anthropology, but the program at Amherst is almost entirely contemporary and sociological in its focus. More and more my interests are becoming archaeological and historical. When I visited Penn this fall, I was impressed by the breadth of offerings in anthropology and archaeology, and I absolutely loved your Museum of Archaeology and Anthropology. Your broad approach to the field with emphases on understanding both the past and present has great appeal to me. By attending Penn, I hope to broaden and deepen my knowledge in anthropology, participate in more summer field work, volunteer at the museum, and eventually, go on to graduate school in archaeology.

My reasons for transferring are almost entirely academic. I have made many good friends at Amherst, and I have studied with some wonderful professors. However, I do have one non-academic reason for being interested in Penn. I originally applied to Amherst because it was comfortable—I come from a small town in Wisconsin, and Amherst felt like home. I'm now looking forward to pushing myself to experience places that aren't quite so familiar. The kibbutz at Kfar HaNassi was one such environment, and the urban environment of Philadelphia would be another.

As my transcript shows, I have done well at Amherst and I am convinced I can meet the academic challenges of Penn. I know I would grow at Penn, and your program in anthropology perfectly matches my academic interests and professional goals.

Before we even get to the critique of David's essay, it's important to put his transfer into context. David is attempting to transfer into an  Ivy League  school. Penn is not the most selective of the country's top universities, but the transfer acceptance rate is still around 6% (at Harvard and Stanford, that number is closer to 1%). David needs to approach this effort at transfer realistically — even with excellent grades and a stellar essay, his chances of success are far from guaranteed.

That said, he has many things going for him — he is coming from an equally demanding college where he has earned good grades, and he seems like the type of student who will certainly succeed at Penn. He will need strong  letters of recommendation  to round out his application.

Analysis of David's Transfer Essay

Now on to the essay... Let's break down the discussion of David's transfer essay into several categories.

The Reasons for Transfer

The strongest feature of David's essay is the focus. David is pleasingly specific in presenting his reasons for transferring. He knows exactly what he wants to study, and he has a clear understanding of what both Penn and Amherst have to offer him. David's description of his experience in Israel defines the focus of his essay, and he then connects that experience to his reasons for wanting to transfer. There are lots of bad reasons to transfer, but David's clear interest in studying anthropology and archaeology makes his motives seem both well thought-out and reasonable.

Many transfer applicants are trying to move to a new college because they are running away from some kind of bad experience, sometimes something academic, sometimes something more personal. David, however, clearly likes Amherst and is running towards something—an opportunity at Penn that better matches his newly discovered professional goals. This is a big positive factor for his application.

The Common Transfer Application instructions state that the essay needs to be at least 250 words. The maximum length is 650 words. David's essay comes in at around 380 words. It is tight and concise. He doesn't waste time talking about his disappointments with Amherst, nor does he put much effort into explaining the things that other parts of his application will cover such as grades and extracurricular involvement. He does have a lot more space left to elaborate, but in this case the letter gets the job done well with few words.

David gets the tone perfect, something that is difficult to do in a transfer essay. Let's face it—if you are transferring it is because there is something about your current school that you don't like. It's easy to be negative and critical of your classes, your professors, your college environment, and so on. It's also easy to come across as a whiner or an ungenerous and angry person who doesn't have the inner resources to make the most of one's circumstances. David avoids these pitfalls. His representation of Amherst is extremely positive. He praises the school while noting that the curricular offerings do not match his professional goals.

The Personality

Partly because of the tone discussed above, David comes across as a pleasant person, someone who the admissions folks are likely to want to have as part of their campus community. Moreover, David presents himself as someone who likes to push himself to grow. He is honest in his reasons for going to Amherst—the school seemed like a good "fit" given his small-town upbringing. It is, therefore, impressive to see him so actively working to expand his experiences beyond his provincial roots. David has clearly grown at Amherst, and he is looking forward to growing more at Penn.

The Writing

When applying to a place like Penn, the technical aspects of the writing need to be flawless. David's prose is clear, engaging and free of errors. If you struggle on this front, be sure to check out these  tips for improving your essay's style . And if grammar isn't your greatest strength, be sure to work through your essay with someone who does have strong grammar skills.

A Final Word on David's Transfer Essay

David's college transfer essay does exactly what an essay needs to do, and he includes the features of a strong transfer essay . He clearly articulates his reasons for transferring, and he does so in a positive and specific way. David presents himself as a serious student with clear academic and professional goals. We have little doubt that he has the skills and intellectual curiosity to succeed at Penn, and he has made a strong argument about why this particular transfer makes a lot of sense.

Odds are still against David's success given the competitive nature of Ivy League transfers, but he has strengthened his application with his essay.

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• Short Answer Response on Working at Burger King
• The Length Requirements for the Common Application Essay in 2020-21
• How to Transfer Colleges: A Guide for Success
• Ideal College Application Essay Length
• Sample Application Essay - Porkopolis
• The Five College Consortium
• "Grandpa's Rubik's Cube"—Sample Common Application Essay, Option #4
• Common Application Short Answer Essay on Entrepreneurship
• Common Application Essay on a Meaningful Place
• Common Supplemental Essay Mistakes
• Should an Application Essay Be Single-Spaced or Double-Spaced?
• Private School Application Essay Tips
• Great Summer Engineering Programs for High School Students

Read 2 Transfer Student Essays That Worked

Strong transfer essays can help pave the way to admissions offers.

Read 2 Transfer Essays That Worked

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Though it isn't a golden ticket, a strong transfer essay may boost an applicant's odds of admission.

There are as many reasons to transfer colleges as there are transfer students. But regardless of why someone wants to move to a new institution, the process for doing so usually requires an admissions essay.

Colleges With the Most Transfer Students

Josh Moody Jan. 28, 2020

In a 2018 National Association for College Admission Counseling survey , 41.5% of colleges polled said a transfer applicant's essay or writing sample is of either considerable or moderate importance in the admission decision.

A compelling, well-written transfer essay doesn't guarantee acceptance – many other factors are at play, such as an applicant's GPA. However, a strong essay can be a factor that helps move the odds in the applicant's favor, says Kathy Phillips, associate dean of undergraduate admissions at Duke University in North Carolina.

Know What Colleges Are Looking For In a Transfer Essay

Some schools have prospective transfer students use the Common App or the Coalition Application to apply. In addition to the main essay, students may be required to submit a second writing sample or respond to short-answer questions, though this isn't always the case. Prospective students can check a college's website for specific guidance regarding how to apply.

Whatever application method they use, prospective students should be aware that writing a transfer essay is not the same as writing a first-year college application essay, experts advise. First-year essays are more open-ended, says Niki Barron, associate dean of admission at Hamilton College in New York. When applying as first-years, prospective students can generally write about any experience, relationship or goal that has shaped who they are as people, she says.

This contrasts with transfer essays, where the focus is typically narrower. Barron says she thinks of transfer essays as more of a statement of purpose. "We're really looking to see students' reasons for wanting to transfer," she says.

Katie Fretwell, the recently retired dean of admission and financial aid at Amherst College in Massachusetts, says prospective transfer students are in a position to be a bit more reflective about their educational goals because of their additional year or years of experience post-high school. The essay helps admissions officers get a sense of whether an applicant has done "an appropriate level of soul-searching about the match," she says.

Transfer Essay Examples

Below are two transfer essays that helped students get into Duke and Amherst, respectively. Both institutions are very selective in transfer admissions. For fall 2018, Duke had a transfer acceptance rate of 8% and Amherst accepted 4% of its transfer applicants, according to U.S. News data.

Hover over the circles to read what made these essays stand out to admissions experts.

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How to Write a Winning College Transfer Essay

December 27, 2021

Much like snowflakes, DNA profiles, or interpretations of a David Lynch film, no two college transfer applicants are alike. Even if two prospective transfers to Boston University are both named Fred and each hail from Farmington, CT, their paths, and the contours of their academic journeys are probably quite different from one another. Perhaps Fred #1 is a first-generation college student who, for financial reasons, had to complete his freshman year at the local community college. Perhaps Fred #2 underachieved a touch in high school, gained admission into a less-selective state school where he excelled freshman year and is now highly-motivated to study at top school. Each Fred possesses an equally valid story to tell the BU admissions office, and doing so adeptly may well be the key to their acceptance. After all, 42% of all U.S. colleges—and close to 100% of highly-selective schools—cite the essay as being “important” to their transfer application decisions.

To cite another relevant statistic, 37% of all college students transfer at some point in their academic career and each has a worthwhile pathway to chronicle. Whether you’re Fred #1, Fred #2, or someone not even named Fred (imagine that!), you need your transfer essay to be so strong that it leaps right off the page and captures the attention (or, even better, heart) of an admissions officer. In the following article, the College Transitions team will explain precisely how to master this essential component of the transfer application.

Which Transfer essay prompt should I pick?

Starting in 2020-21, the Common App granted its member institutions the option of allowing their transfer applicants to select one of the seven current Common App essay prompts (that are available to freshman applicants).

Some schools will offer you this option, while others will simply ask you the equivalent of “Why are you applying to our university?” If you are given the choice between prompts, it is generally best to select the one that is most broad (note: a broad prompt is good, a broad essay is not) and allows you to compose an essay containing the following essential elements:

• 1) Why your prospective transfer school is a perfect fit for you.
• 2) Why your journey has led you away from your current institution.
• 3) What unique attributes and talents you will bring to campus.
• 4) How your past achievements and efforts can bolster your case.
• 5) Share your academic and career ambitions.

Let’s dive in and take a more thorough look at each component, beginning with #1.

1) Why this college is the perfect fit for you

Share with your prospective new academic home exactly what makes them attractive to you. Smaller class size, a particular academic program, a more diverse environment, or the opportunity to for hands-on learning/research opportunities are just a sampling of the legitimate selling points you can cite. Mention specific courses that you are eager to take at their institution, certain distinguished professors who you desire to study under, and unique clubs, activities, or campus traditions in which you are excited to partake. Take advantage of this chance to impress admissions officers with you expansive knowledge of their institution as well as a highly-specific accounting of how you will take advantage of your 2-3 years there. Doing so will separate you from the pack of similarly-qualified transfer applicants.

2) Why you want to leave your current college

Make sure that the reasons that you communicate for wanting to transfer do not end up sounding like a nasty Yelp review of your present school. While you may want to leave College X because the professors are all centenarian windbags and your roommate is breeding capybaras to sell on Craigslist (is there really a market for that?), remember that the school to which you are applying wants to feel wanted. Think about it—would you rather listen to your girlfriend/boyfriend rant about their ex or hear them tell you what makes you awesome? Admissions officers considering a transfer student feel the same way.

3) What unique attributes you will bring to campus

Even in the transfer admissions process, admissions officers are tasked with enhancing the diversity of their undergraduate student body and adding individuals who are likely to be contributing members of the campus community. Is there a particular club that you are eager to join or do wish to start your own? Do you desire to assist a professor in conducting research? Are you an a cappella star or club volleyball diehard? What books do you read for pleasure? Do you have a hidden talent or area of expertise? Are you an introvert or extrovert (both can be selling points)? What ideas, activities, or dreams keep you up in the middle of the night? Give the admissions reader a full picture of what your life will look at their school and how you will make more of an impact (in any form) than many of your fellow applicants.

4) Talk about your academic and extracurricular record

This is also a perfect opportunity to demonstrate your record of involvement on your current campus. It is far easier to sell yourself as someone who will be a contributing member of the campus community if you displayed these qualities at your previous college. Students with an eye on transferring are sometimes so focused on escaping their first institution that they fail to become involved in anything outside of the classroom and thus miss out on valuable opportunities to demonstrate leadership and passion—the very traits needed to transfer to a prestigious school. Write about what you are most proud of—a challenging physics exam you mastered, a philosophy paper you wrote arguing the compatibility of science and religion, or how you started a campus chapter of an organization dedicated to fighting pancreatic cancer.

5) Share your academic and career ambitions

The more you can use your essay to communicate your genuine passions and what makes you tick, the better. Doing so gives your essay broader context and deeper meaning, as it explains the true significance of all of the info shared in steps #1-4. If you want to major in biology, where do you see that taking you down the road? Are you considering graduate or medical school? Do you want to work in research in a specific area? You don’t have to be 100% sure of your career and future academic path at 19 or 20 years old, but as a transfer student, you should share where your experiences and interests may someday take you.

College Transfer Essay – Do’s and Don’ts

• Make a coherent and well-researched case for why the school to which you are applying would be a perfect fit for you.
• Explain how you spend your time outside of school whether it’s participation in a club or sport, paid work, or a hobby to which you are extremely dedicated.
• Paint a picture of the reasons why this new university is the right place to pursue your academic interests.
• Give the committee a sense of your talents and character/personal qualities. If your school does not offer interviews, this essay will be primary vehicle through which you can forge a personal connection to a fellow human being.
• Bash your current school or overly-focus on the negative.
• Make excuses for past academic performance of lack of outside the classroom involvement.
• Say that you want to attend a new school for the prestige, the pretty campus, or for a personal reason (close to home, girl/boyfriend attends, etc.).
• Forget to do adequate research on your prospective academic home. Details matter!
• Application Strategies
• College Essay

Andrew Belasco

A licensed counselor and published researcher, Andrew's experience in the field of college admissions and transition spans two decades. He has previously served as a high school counselor, consultant and author for Kaplan Test Prep, and advisor to U.S. Congress, reporting on issues related to college admissions and financial aid.

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Georgia Tech offensive line intent on not being content in 2024

As dominant as Georgia Tech’s offensive line became toward the end of the 2023 season, none of that matters three months later.

“It’s really up to us, and what we put into it is what we’re gonna get out of it. We can’t be complacent based on last year’s success,” Tech senior center Weston Franklin said Tuesday after Tech’s eighth practice of the spring. “We gotta put it to bed and move forward to this year and see where we can go. The sky’s the limit for us. We just gotta continue improving and continuing working well together like we have and just continue to climb.”

Franklin (6-foot-4, 311 pounds) is the fulcrum of a unit that virtually is intact from 2023, save for guard Connor Scaglione who exhausted his eligibility and is now hopeful for an opportunity to play professional football. Tackles Jordan Williams (6-6, 304), Ethan Mackenny (6-4, 292) and Corey Robinson (6-5, 305) and guard Joe Fusile (6-6, 302) are back this spring.

Perhaps just as important, so is Tech offensive line coach Geep Wade.

“Last year was last year, that’s in the past,” Wade said Tuesday. “And I told these guys, ‘Whatever we do now, it’s gonna be harder. We have to elevate our game.’ To elevate your game, you gotta work on your deficiencies. As a coach, I have to work on my deficiencies to be a better coach.

“They have really, really worked hard on their deficiencies. And they’re great leaders. I go up there and sometimes I’ll be coaching the 2s (second string) and (the first string has) run four plays, and I hadn’t even watched ‘em. Those guys, it matters to them, they’re ball guys. That’s what the position should be played like. We’re just trying to build a culture. It’s never gonna be right, it’s never gonna be perfect, but if you have confidence and play fast and you hit someone in the mouth, then it will all take care of itself.”

Tech finished the 2023 season as the nation’s 13th-best rushing attack, reaching that mark thanks to the efforts of Franklin, Williams, Fusile, Mackenny, Robinson, Scaglione and Jakiah Leftwich (now in the transfer portal). Those linemen surrendered only 15 sacks in 13 games (the 15th-fewest in the nation) and a modest 5.39 tackles for loss per game. Fusile, Franklin and Williams were Tech’s top run and pass blockers in ‘23, according to Pro Football Focus.

Credit: Jason Getz

But for all that, Wade judged the 2023 campaign on its whole and pointed out there were some clunkers, such as when the Jackets mustered only 69 rushing yards against Bowling Green, 99 rushing yards at Miami or 117 rushing yards at Clemson. Tech gave up three sacks in a loss to Bowling Green and four in a defeat at Clemson.

“One thing I can say, though, is I think we found who we are toward the end of the year, and we’ve continued that. I think that helps the kids out, not doing too many things,” Wade said. “It was a new staff (in 2023), coach (Brent) Key’s first year, I think we found out who we are, what we do.”

Franklin, Robinson, Fusile and Mackenny have continued to work as part of Tech’s starting lineup this spring, but there are still ongoing auditions for that fifth member of the band. Robinson and Middle Tennessee transfer Keylan Rutledge have been out with injuries this spring and, in part because of that, Mackenny has spent recent practices playing guard. Key said Saturday that freshman Jameson Riggs (6-6, 305) from Hiram High School played nearly every snap at tackle alongside the first-team offense during Saturday’s scrimmage.

Freshmen Tana Alo-Tupuola (6-1, 330), Gabe Fortson (6-3, 299) and Harrison Moore (6-5, 260) have been some of the young linemen in the rotation as well, Wade said.

“We’re not slowing down for the young guys, too. With our offense, we’re not a base offense, so we can’t slow down with a lot of motions, the box changes and all that. We don’t slow down, and the young guys have picked it up fast,” Wade said. “They’re football guys. They’re wired the right way, they love football, they’re ate up with it, they’re always over here and that’s what we want in that (group). We want junkies.”

The Jackets are scheduled to return to practice Thursday ahead of Saturday’s scrimmage, the team’s second of the spring.

About the Author

Chad Bishop is a Georgia Tech sports reporter for The Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

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Auburn guard tre donaldson enters transfer portal, share this article.

A week after senior guard K.D Johnson decided to leave Auburn and enter the transfer portal, backcourt mate Tre Donaldson has joined him. The sophomore guard announced the move on his Instagram early Wednesday morning.

Donaldson leaves the Plains after an impressive sophomore season in which he averaged 6.7 points, 3.2 assists, and 2.4 rebounds per game. While he played well throughout the season, Donaldson was stuck in a timeshare for minutes at the point guard position alongside 5-star freshman Aden Holloway.

With Holloway yet to decide on whether he will come back to Auburn and 2024 5-star point guard Tahaad Pettiford waiting in the wings, Donaldson may have been locked in the same type of limited minutes per game in his junior season.

Donaldson’s loss could force Bruce Pearl to the transfer portal himself in hopes of finding a way to replace the assist production his sophomore guard offered. With the Tigers’ guard room depleting, Pearl has a tall task ahead of him in order to get his squad ready for next season.

NEWS: Auburn guard Tre Donaldson plans to enter the transfer portal, he tells @On3sports . The 6-3 sophomore averaged 6.7 points, 2.4 assists, and 3.2 assists per game this season. https://t.co/hMa4JZmDxx pic.twitter.com/IiEiqeM1Ad — Joe Tipton (@TiptonEdits) April 3, 2024

Contact/Follow us @ TheAuburnWire  on  X (Twitter), and like our page on  Facebook  to follow ongoing coverage of Auburn news, notes, and opinion. You can also follow Brian on Twitter  @TheRealBHauch

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