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Essay About Achievements: Top 5 Examples and 6 Prompts

Are you having problems writing your essay about achievements? Then, continue reading this article for samples and prompts to guide you in your writing.

Achievement influences our expectations and self-growth. It’s also often connected with an individual’s progress in life. It gives way for recognition in attaining a goal through standards. 

Achievement acknowledges successes, productiveness, and involvement. But sometimes, achieving doesn’t result in a feeling of satisfaction. Writing an achievement essay is usually based on experiences from yourself or others. You can explore different viewpoints, such as what they consider an “achievement,” how to overcome weaknesses, or why they want a specific achievement. Below are 5 examples and 6 writing prompts to assist you in your essay:

1. The Greatest Achievements In Life by Gerard Reese

2. greatest professional or academic achievement by james taylor , 3. essay on achievements from my professional life by bdoan, 4. my accomplishment by taylor wood, 5. when my weakness became my greatest accomplishment by jay merrill logan, 6 writing prompts on essay about achievements, 1. ways to achieve within different settings, 2. achievements in the small things, 3. how to build confidence, 4. the power of overcoming fear, 5. steps to be successful, 6. guide to building a strong character.

“Nobody succeeds on the first try, we take our mistakes and learn from them. Mistakes are the things that help us strive for greatness, which is why failure should not be viewed as something negative, but more as something we can use to attain [what] we want in life.”

Reese’s piece on achievement talks about learning from failure and trying again until you reach success. Time and failure are contributors to our achievements. He emphasizes that failure can be a steward and teacher to help us get where we want to be. He also provides lists of individuals who encountered crises in their lives until they reached their most successful phases. 

“My father always instilled in me the importance of education. He knew very well that in order for his children to be successful he needed to set them up for success and place them in a position where we would be afforded the opportunity to succeed.”

Family significantly impacts one’s interpretation of what achievements are about. Taylor’s essay highlights the idea of what his father taught him about education and success. He mentions how he embarked through life while keeping his father’s acknowledgment of his potential in the field he has chosen. His essay shows that family shapes one’s belief about what’s considered a successful life.

“I consider the experience in Japan as a big achievement and an important step in my career. The fact that I could master the complex situation gave me much self-confidence and showed that I could manage people successfully even in difficult situations. Today, this unique ability of handling teams attributed me as a strong leader for my people.”

Bdoan’s essay focuses on past experiences and how she handled cultural differences and beliefs, leading to her successful professional life. To achieve fulfillment in work, she breaks the barrier, communicates effectively, and embraces Japanese culture, which she set as a significant setting stone in her career life.

“Through the influence of my best friend, I have motivated myself to spend two hours during the night before I go to sleep to master the lessons the teacher has discussed in class. This helped me greatly since I would no longer have to cram and study everything for the exams later.”

Wood’s essay highlights the external factors that contributed to his achievements. External factors can lead a person to success or frustration. Through a piece of great advice, he changed his lifestyle by allowing himself to move forward and build a quality life. He compares this to Newton’s First law of motion, which he quoted and put at the beginning of his essay.

“…the more I thought about my own greatest personal academic achievement, I realized it was simply getting an A in a college history class my freshman year. Succeeding in this upper-level history class set the tone for all my future college courses and gave me the confidence I needed to achieve greatness, and I am not even a history major.”

Logan talks about his worst subject, History. He recounts how he approached his professor and overcame his weakness. This essay points out that words from others can influence self-growth and confidence. He says he developed faith in his study during college and attained his most outstanding accomplishment.

Are you having problems connecting your ideas smoothly? See this guide on transition words for essays.

After reading through the samples above, it’s time to explore your desired achievement subjects. Here are six prompts about achievements you can use:

Everyone sets expectations for themselves, dependent on the environment they’re in. It can be at work, school, or home. In these cases, the result is just as important as the process.

You can focus your essay on a relatable viewpoint, such as a student who wants to get A+ grades or an office worker who wants to get the Employee of the Month Award. Discuss ways they can excel in their surroundings. Your essay will serve as a guide to help them grow personally and professionally.

Achievements don’t need to be grand. Sometimes, simply getting out of bed is an achievement, especially for those suffering from mental illnesses such as depression. Center your essay on the simple things that can be considered achievements in their way. 

Your essay will not only serve as a reminder that it’s essential to appreciate the small things. It will also comfort those who are going through a hard time.

This topic asks you to highlight the relationship between confidence and achievements. You can interview someone confident in themselves. Ask for tips on building confidence and relay them to your readers while explaining the opportunities they can get by believing in themselves more.

In this busy world, fear is one of the most significant setbacks for people in accomplishing their goals in life. In this essay, you can explain to your readers how acknowledging their fears will help them advance.  

You can also conceptualize the effect of anxiety in achieving your desires and help you set your standard in developing self-growth. Feel free to share your experience with fears and how you plan to deal with them.

To be successful is everyone’s goal. However, sharing steps and tips on how to achieve success is general prompt many writes about. To make your piece stand out, you can tailor it to a group of individuals. For example, a student’s image of success is going on stage and graduating with honors.

Essay About Achievements: Guide to building a strong character

Someone’s character is critical to achieving achievements. You can write about a well-known individual who went against the usual route of how success is reached. Such as Steve Jobs, who founded Apple but was a college dropout. 

There are many ways to reach a goal. Tell your readers that they don’t need to follow the conventional method of accomplishing things to get their hands on the achievements they crave.

Do you want to be more confident with your writing? Here are 11 essay writing tips you need to learn today!

achievement essay for college

Maria Caballero is a freelance writer who has been writing since high school. She believes that to be a writer doesn't only refer to excellent syntax and semantics but also knowing how to weave words together to communicate to any reader effectively.

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College admissions

Course: college admissions   >   unit 4.

  • Writing a strong college admissions essay
  • Avoiding common admissions essay mistakes
  • Brainstorming tips for your college essay
  • How formal should the tone of your college essay be?
  • Taking your college essay to the next level

Sample essay 1 with admissions feedback

  • Sample essay 2 with admissions feedback
  • Student story: Admissions essay about a formative experience
  • Student story: Admissions essay about personal identity
  • Student story: Admissions essay about community impact
  • Student story: Admissions essay about a past mistake
  • Student story: Admissions essay about a meaningful poem
  • Writing tips and techniques for your college essay

Introduction

Sample essay 1, feedback from admissions.

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Good Answer

Frequently asked questions

How do i write about my achievements and qualities.

Through specific stories, you can weave your achievements and qualities into your essay so that it doesn’t seem like you’re bragging from a resume.

Frequently asked questions: College admissions essays

When writing your Common App essay , choose a prompt that sparks your interest and that you can connect to a unique personal story.

No matter which prompt you choose, admissions officers are more interested in your ability to demonstrate personal development , insight, or motivation for a certain area of study.

The Common App essay is your primary writing sample within the Common Application, a college application portal accepted by more than 900 schools. All your prospective schools that accept the Common App will read this essay to understand your character, background, and value as a potential student.

Since this essay is read by many colleges, avoid mentioning any college names or programs; instead, save tailored answers for the supplementary school-specific essays within the Common App.

Most importantly, your essay should be about you , not another person or thing. An insightful college admissions essay requires deep self-reflection, authenticity, and a balance between confidence and vulnerability.

Your essay shouldn’t be a résumé of your experiences but instead should tell a story that demonstrates your most important values and qualities.

When revising your college essay , first check for big-picture issues regarding your message and content. Then, check for flow, tone, style , and clarity. Finally, focus on eliminating grammar and punctuation errors .

If your college essay goes over the word count limit , cut any sentences with tangents or irrelevant details. Delete unnecessary words that clutter your essay.

If you’re struggling to reach the word count for your college essay, add vivid personal stories or share your feelings and insight to give your essay more depth and authenticity.

If you’ve got to write your college essay fast , don’t panic. First, set yourself deadlines: you should spend about 10% of your remaining time on brainstorming, 10% on outlining, 40% writing, 30% revising, and 10% taking breaks in between stages.

Second, brainstorm stories and values based on your essay prompt.

Third, outline your essay based on the montage or narrative essay structure .

Fourth, write specific, personal, and unique stories that would be hard for other students to replicate.

Fifth, revise your essay and make sure it’s clearly written.

Last, if possible, get feedback from an essay coach . Scribbr essay editors can help you revise your essay in 12 hours or less.

Avoid swearing in a college essay , since admissions officers’ opinions of profanity will vary. In some cases, it might be okay to use a vulgar word, such as in dialogue or quotes that make an important point in your essay. However, it’s safest to try to make the same point without swearing.

If you have bad grades on your transcript, you may want to use your college admissions essay to explain the challenging circumstances that led to them. Make sure to avoid dwelling on the negative aspects and highlight how you overcame the situation or learned an important lesson.

However, some college applications offer an additional information section where you can explain your bad grades, allowing you to choose another meaningful topic for your college essay.

Here’s a brief list of college essay topics that may be considered cliché:

  • Extracurriculars, especially sports
  • Role models
  • Dealing with a personal tragedy or death in the family
  • Struggling with new life situations (immigrant stories, moving homes, parents’ divorce)
  • Becoming a better person after community service, traveling, or summer camp
  • Overcoming a difficult class
  • Using a common object as an extended metaphor

It’s easier to write a standout essay with a unique topic. However, it’s possible to make a common topic compelling with interesting story arcs, uncommon connections, and an advanced writing style.

Yes. The college application essay is less formal than other academic writing —though of course it’s not mandatory to use contractions in your essay.

In a college essay , you can be creative with your language . When writing about the past, you can use the present tense to make the reader feel as if they were there in the moment with you. But make sure to maintain consistency and when in doubt, default to the correct verb tense according to the time you’re writing about.

The college admissions essay gives admissions officers a different perspective on you beyond your academic achievements, test scores, and extracurriculars. It’s your chance to stand out from other applicants with similar academic profiles by telling a unique, personal, and specific story.

Use a standard font such as Times New Roman or Arial to avoid distracting the reader from your college essay’s content.

A college application essay is less formal than most academic writing . Instead of citing sources formally with in-text citations and a reference list, you can cite them informally in your text.

For example, “In her research paper on genetics, Quinn Roberts explores …”

There is no set number of paragraphs in a college admissions essay . College admissions essays can diverge from the traditional five-paragraph essay structure that you learned in English class. Just make sure to stay under the specified word count .

Most topics are acceptable for college essays if you can use them to demonstrate personal growth or a lesson learned. However, there are a few difficult topics for college essays that should be avoided. Avoid topics that are:

  • Overly personal (e.g. graphic details of illness or injury, romantic or sexual relationships)
  • Not personal enough (e.g. broad solutions to world problems, inspiring people or things)
  • Too negative (e.g. an in-depth look at your flaws, put-downs of others, criticizing the need for a college essay)
  • Too boring (e.g. a resume of your academic achievements and extracurriculars)
  • Inappropriate for a college essay (e.g. illegal activities, offensive humor, false accounts of yourself, bragging about privilege)

To write an effective diversity essay , include vulnerable, authentic stories about your unique identity, background, or perspective. Provide insight into how your lived experience has influenced your outlook, activities, and goals. If relevant, you should also mention how your background has led you to apply for this university and why you’re a good fit.

Many universities believe a student body composed of different perspectives, beliefs, identities, and backgrounds will enhance the campus learning and community experience.

Admissions officers are interested in hearing about how your unique background, identity, beliefs, culture, or characteristics will enrich the campus community, which is why they assign a diversity essay .

In addition to your main college essay , some schools and scholarships may ask for a supplementary essay focused on an aspect of your identity or background. This is sometimes called a diversity essay .

You can use humor in a college essay , but carefully consider its purpose and use it wisely. An effective use of humor involves unexpected, keen observations of the everyday, or speaks to a deeper theme. Humor shouldn’t be the main focus of the essay, but rather a tool to improve your storytelling.

Get a second opinion from a teacher, counselor, or essay coach on whether your essay’s humor is appropriate.

Though admissions officers are interested in hearing your story, they’re also interested in how you tell it. An exceptionally written essay will differentiate you from other applicants, meaning that admissions officers will spend more time reading it.

You can use literary devices to catch your reader’s attention and enrich your storytelling; however, focus on using just a few devices well, rather than trying to use as many as possible.

To decide on a good college essay topic , spend time thoughtfully answering brainstorming questions. If you still have trouble identifying topics, try the following two strategies:

  • Identify your qualities → Brainstorm stories that demonstrate these qualities
  • Identify memorable stories → Connect your qualities to these stories

You can also ask family, friends, or mentors to help you brainstorm topics, give feedback on your potential essay topics, or recall key stories that showcase your qualities.

Yes—admissions officers don’t expect everyone to have a totally unique college essay topic . But you must differentiate your essay from others by having a surprising story arc, an interesting insight, and/or an advanced writing style .

There are no foolproof college essay topics —whatever your topic, the key is to write about it effectively. However, a good topic

  • Is meaningful, specific, and personal to you
  • Focuses on you and your experiences
  • Reveals something beyond your test scores, grades, and extracurriculars
  • Is creative and original

Unlike a five-paragraph essay, your admissions essay should not end by summarizing the points you’ve already made. It’s better to be creative and aim for a strong final impression.

You should also avoid stating the obvious (for example, saying that you hope to be accepted).

There are a few strategies you can use for a memorable ending to your college essay :

  • Return to the beginning with a “full circle” structure
  • Reveal the main point or insight in your story
  • Look to the future
  • End on an action

The best technique will depend on your topic choice, essay outline, and writing style. You can write several endings using different techniques to see which works best.

College deadlines vary depending on the schools you’re applying to and your application plan:

  • For early action applications and the first round of early decision applications, the deadline is on November 1 or 15. Decisions are released by mid-December.
  • For the second round of early decision applications, the deadline is January 1 or 15. Decisions are released in January or February.
  • Regular decision deadlines usually fall between late November and mid-March, and decisions are released in March or April.
  • Rolling admission deadlines run from July to April, and decisions are released around four to eight weeks after submission.

Depending on your prospective schools’ requirements, you may need to submit scores for the SAT or ACT as part of your college application .

Some schools now no longer require students to submit test scores; however, you should still take the SAT or ACT and aim to get a high score to strengthen your application package.

Aim to take the SAT or ACT in the spring of your junior year to give yourself enough time to retake it in the fall of your senior year if necessary.

Apply early for federal student aid and application fee waivers. You can also look for scholarships from schools, corporations, and charitable foundations.

To maximize your options, you should aim to apply to about eight schools:

  • Two reach schools that might be difficult to get into
  • Four match schools that you have a good chance of getting into
  • Two safety schools that you feel confident you’ll get into

The college admissions essay accounts for roughly 25% of the weight of your application .

At highly selective schools, there are four qualified candidates for every spot. While your academic achievements are important, your college admissions essay can help you stand out from other applicants with similar profiles.

In general, for your college application you will need to submit all of the following:

  • Your personal information
  • List of extracurriculars and awards
  • College application essays
  • Transcripts
  • Standardized test scores
  • Recommendation letters.

Different colleges may have specific requirements, so make sure you check exactly what’s expected in the application guidance.

You should start thinking about your college applications the summer before your junior year to give you sufficient time for college visits, taking standardized tests, applying for financial aid , writing essays, and collecting application material.

Yes, but make sure your essay directly addresses the prompt, respects the word count , and demonstrates the organization’s values.

If you plan ahead, you can save time by writing one scholarship essay for multiple prompts with similar questions. In a scholarship tracker spreadsheet, you can group or color-code overlapping essay prompts; then, write a single essay for multiple scholarships. Sometimes, you can even reuse or adapt your main college essay .

You can start applying for scholarships as early as your junior year. Continue applying throughout your senior year.

Invest time in applying for various scholarships , especially local ones with small dollar amounts, which are likely easier to win and more reflective of your background and interests. It will be easier for you to write an authentic and compelling essay if the scholarship topic is meaningful to you.

You can find scholarships through your school counselor, community network, or an internet search.

A scholarship essay requires you to demonstrate your values and qualities while answering the prompt’s specific question.

After researching the scholarship organization, identify a personal experience that embodies its values and exemplifies how you will be a successful student.

A standout college essay has several key ingredients:

  • A unique, personally meaningful topic
  • A memorable introduction with vivid imagery or an intriguing hook
  • Specific stories and language that show instead of telling
  • Vulnerability that’s authentic but not aimed at soliciting sympathy
  • Clear writing in an appropriate style and tone
  • A conclusion that offers deep insight or a creative ending

While timelines will differ depending on the student, plan on spending at least 1–3 weeks brainstorming and writing the first draft of your college admissions essay , and at least 2–4 weeks revising across multiple drafts. Don’t forget to save enough time for breaks between each writing and editing stage.

You should already begin thinking about your essay the summer before your senior year so that you have plenty of time to try out different topics and get feedback on what works.

Your college essay accounts for about 25% of your application’s weight. It may be the deciding factor in whether you’re accepted, especially for competitive schools where most applicants have exceptional grades, test scores, and extracurricular track records.

In most cases, quoting other people isn’t a good way to start your college essay . Admissions officers want to hear your thoughts about yourself, and quotes often don’t achieve that. Unless a quote truly adds something important to your essay that it otherwise wouldn’t have, you probably shouldn’t include it.

Cliché openers in a college essay introduction are usually general and applicable to many students and situations. Most successful introductions are specific: they only work for the unique essay that follows.

The key to a strong college essay introduction is not to give too much away. Try to start with a surprising statement or image that raises questions and compels the reader to find out more.

The introduction of your college essay is the first thing admissions officers will read and therefore your most important opportunity to stand out. An excellent introduction will keep admissions officers reading, allowing you to tell them what you want them to know.

You can speed up this process by shortening and smoothing your writing with a paraphrasing tool . After that, you can use the summarizer to shorten it even more.

If you’re struggling to reach the word count for your college essay, add vivid personal stories or share your feelings and insight to give your essay more depth and authenticity.

Most college application portals specify a word count range for your essay, and you should stay within 10% of the upper limit to write a developed and thoughtful essay.

You should aim to stay under the specified word count limit to show you can follow directions and write concisely. However, don’t write too little, as it may seem like you are unwilling or unable to write a detailed and insightful narrative about yourself.

If no word count is specified, we advise keeping your essay between 400 and 600 words.

In your application essay , admissions officers are looking for particular features : they want to see context on your background, positive traits that you could bring to campus, and examples of you demonstrating those qualities.

Colleges want to be able to differentiate students who seem similar on paper. In the college application essay , they’re looking for a way to understand each applicant’s unique personality and experiences.

You don’t need a title for your college admissions essay , but you can include one if you think it adds something important.

Your college essay’s format should be as simple as possible:

  • Use a standard, readable font
  • Use 1.5 or double spacing
  • If attaching a file, save it as a PDF
  • Stick to the word count
  • Avoid unusual formatting and unnecessary decorative touches

There are no set rules for how to structure a college application essay , but these are two common structures that work:

  • A montage structure, a series of vignettes with a common theme.
  • A narrative structure, a single story that shows your personal growth or how you overcame a challenge.

Avoid the five-paragraph essay structure that you learned in high school.

Campus visits are always helpful, but if you can’t make it in person, the college website will have plenty of information for you to explore. You should look through the course catalog and even reach out to current faculty with any questions about the school.

Colleges set a “Why this college?” essay because they want to see that you’ve done your research. You must prove that you know what makes the school unique and can connect that to your own personal goals and academic interests.

Depending on your writing, you may go through several rounds of revision . Make sure to put aside your essay for a little while after each editing stage to return with a fresh perspective.

Teachers and guidance counselors can help you check your language, tone, and content . Ask for their help at least one to two months before the submission deadline, as many other students will also want their help.

Friends and family are a good resource to check for authenticity. It’s best to seek help from family members with a strong writing or English educational background, or from older siblings and cousins who have been through the college admissions process.

If possible, get help from an essay coach or editor ; they’ll have specialized knowledge of college admissions essays and be able to give objective expert feedback.

When revising your college essay , first check for big-picture issues regarding message, flow, tone, style , and clarity. Then, focus on eliminating grammar and punctuation errors.

Include specific, personal details and use your authentic voice to shed a new perspective on a common human experience.

When writing about yourself , including difficult experiences or failures can be a great way to show vulnerability and authenticity, but be careful not to overshare, and focus on showing how you matured from the experience.

First, spend time reflecting on your core values and character . You can start with these questions:

  • What are three words your friends or family would use to describe you, and why would they choose them?
  • Whom do you admire most and why?
  • What are you most proud of? Ashamed of?

However, you should do a comprehensive brainstorming session to fully understand your values. Also consider how your values and goals match your prospective university’s program and culture. Then, brainstorm stories that illustrate the fit between the two.

In a college application essay , you can occasionally bend grammatical rules if doing so adds value to the storytelling process and the essay maintains clarity.

However, use standard language rules if your stylistic choices would otherwise distract the reader from your overall narrative or could be easily interpreted as unintentional errors.

Write concisely and use the active voice to maintain a quick pace throughout your essay and make sure it’s the right length . Avoid adding definitions unless they provide necessary explanation.

Use first-person “I” statements to speak from your perspective . Use appropriate word choices that show off your vocabulary but don’t sound like you used a thesaurus. Avoid using idioms or cliché expressions by rewriting them in a creative, original way.

If you’re an international student applying to a US college and you’re comfortable using American idioms or cultural references , you can. But instead of potentially using them incorrectly, don’t be afraid to write in detail about yourself within your own culture.

Provide context for any words, customs, or places that an American admissions officer might be unfamiliar with.

College application essays are less formal than other kinds of academic writing . Use a conversational yet respectful tone , as if speaking with a teacher or mentor. Be vulnerable about your feelings, thoughts, and experiences to connect with the reader.

Aim to write in your authentic voice , with a style that sounds natural and genuine. You can be creative with your word choice, but don’t use elaborate vocabulary to impress admissions officers.

Admissions officers use college admissions essays to evaluate your character, writing skills , and ability to self-reflect . The essay is your chance to show what you will add to the academic community.

The college essay may be the deciding factor in your application , especially for competitive schools where most applicants have exceptional grades, test scores, and extracurriculars.

Some colleges also require supplemental essays about specific topics, such as why you chose that specific college . Scholarship essays are often required to obtain financial aid .

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Sample College Admission Essay 1 with Feedback

Introduction.

We've discussed in a general sense what makes a good essay, but it's always helpful to look at specific examples and hear how admissions officers evaluated them. Included below is a sample essay. It's well-written and avoids the common admission essay pitfalls discussed in previous videos (listing off accomplishments like a resume, writing about someone else instead of making it personal, etc.), so it's not simple to know how an admissions officer will react. Read the essay, and then proceed to the follow-up video to hear from admissions.

Sample essay 1

Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you (500 word limit).

A misplaced foot on the accelerator instead of the brakes made me the victim of someone’s careless mistake. Rushing through the dark streets of my hometown in an ambulance, I attempted to hold back my tears while two supportive Emergency Medical Technicians (EMTs) comforted me. Although I suffered a minor knee injury, the trauma of that accident still lingers.

Fast forward six years to the present. Now I am sitting in the back of the ambulance, a rookie EMT, with my purple gloves on, stethoscope around my neck, and a red medical bag in hand. I am also making sure we have the proper medical equipment stocked, including neck collars and long body boards. As I step out of the ambulance, a bitter breeze nips at my face. Shattered glass, two crushed car hoods, and traffic everywhere, the scene is put into perspective as I can finally see what is happening. I stop in my tracks. It is my accident all over again.

“Get the collars and boards, there is a possible back injury,” my partner whispers to me. I fetch the items, still attempting to deal with my conflicting emotions. Using the help of five other EMTs, we extricate the victim from the car and secure him to the stretcher. While in the ambulance, I realize now that circumstances have been reversed. This time, clutching the patient’s hand, I tried to soothe him, and he slowly calms down. I keep my composure and actively tried to help the patient feel as comfortable as I did. Keeping all of his personal belongings close to me, we wheel him into the busy emergency room and transfer him safely. As we leave, he looked into my eyes and I could feel his sincere gratitude. Rather than being an innocent victim, like the current patient was, I am now the rescuer.

Even though I felt the horrid memories rushing back, I kept my duties as a rescuer in the forefront of my mind. Keeping my cool in the face of extreme pressure I came out of the call a changed person: someone who can see a problem, regardless of any bias I may have, and focus only on what is happening at that instant. Confidently facing my own terrors, I felt as if conquering my fears allowed me to face my duties with a grounded and compassionate outlook.

Tears stream, limbs hurt, children cry: I am there, with a smile on my face, a stethoscope around my neck, compassion in my heart, happy to help and proud to serve.

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Academic achievements encompass a wide range of accomplishments, including academic awards, scholarships, research projects, published papers, presentations, academic competitions, and high academic standings. Writing an essay on academic achievement allows you to delve into the significance of these milestones and showcase your personal growth and dedication throughout your educational journey.

In this category, we explore the multifaceted nature of academic achievements and their broader implications, providing valuable examples and essay resources. Whether you’re seeking academic achievement essay examples for college applications or looking to craft an academic achievements essay for your personal reflection, this category is a treasure trove of inspiration and guidance.

How to Write an Essay on Academic Achievement

Crafting an essay on academic achievement provides a platform to highlight your experiences, challenges, and triumphs. Share personal anecdotes and memorable moments that illustrate the impact of your academic accomplishments. From overcoming obstacles to pursuing specific goals, delve into the specific steps you took on your journey and the strategies you employed to achieve them.

Moreover, your essay can explore the broader impact of your academic achievements. Consider how your accomplishments have contributed to your community, advanced knowledge in your field, or inspired others to pursue their own educational aspirations. By showcasing the significance of your academic achievements, your essay becomes a testament to your dedication and resilience.

Unlock the power of your academic achievements through the art of essay writing. Utilize this category’s resources, including essay examples and advice, to develop a captivating narrative that captivates and inspires your readers. Whether you’re writing an academic achievement essay for college or exploring the broader aspects of academic excellence, let your passion for knowledge shine through and create a compelling essay that leaves a lasting impression.

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Best topics on Academic Achievements

1. Discipline Leads to Success: The Stepping Stones of Achievement

2. Achievement in Life as a Student: Navigating Challenges and Embracing Growth

3. Academic and Education Goals to Be a Robotic Engineer

4. Establishing Education Goals and Career Goals in Bangladesh

5. Education Goals In Children And Prefrontal Cortex

6. Factors Of Aboriginal Students’ Academic Achievements

7. Academic Writing Skills: Preparing an Essay 

8. Effect of 5Cs on Senior Secondary School Students’ Achievement in Geometry

9. A Report on The Importance of Comprehension and Retention on Academic Success

10. The Debate About the Later Start of School

11. The Relationship Between School Starting Age and Academic Achievement in Later Schooling 

12. The Importance of Extracurricular Activities for Adolescents

13. Stress On Athletes Involved in Extracurricular Activities

14. Creating A Culture of Excellence Through Research

15. The Endless Rat Race: Pursuit of Academic Excellence in Singapore

  • Importance of Education
  • School Uniform
  • Elementary School

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Greatest accomplishment essay example and topic ideas.

greatest accomplishment essay example

Developing a college essay on accomplishment may seem easy on the surface, but a hard nut on the inner. Why? Most students have not developed the necessary skills and tactics needed to give such an essay a perfect look it deserves. Nevertheless, we are here to help you develop that and make your essay one of the best achievements ever made. At the end of this post, you will be more proud that Isaac Newton, who saw a mango falling from a tree.

An accomplishment essay should have the following components :

  • The challenge
  • The outcome
  • The significance

First things first, we will start with an accomplishment essay example, which will form the basis of our discussion. Let’s do this!

The Greatest Accomplishment Essay: How I Made it in Life “When I was growing up, I had one purpose in mind, to be my boss. Well, many may find it absurd that a young lad who barely knew all the letters of the alphabet would dream of such. As crazy as it may sound, that was my dream, and I had no intention of looking back. The same urge still burned in me ten years later. No doubt that my passion for leadership was in my DNA, and nothing could stop me from achieving it. What is success? One person defined it as the accomplishment of a purpose or an aim. We create success on our own, and this is how I made my success story. I grew up in a humble background, with my mother taking both parental roles. We lived from hand to mouth, and there are times when we would go for two or three fortnights without a meal. Being a single mother, she had to ensure that her two children were well fending for with the little that she could afford. She would take up any job position; a cleaner, a homemaker, a cook, and even one time, a garbage collector. All these were for the best of her children. Don’t think that I was blind to all these sufferings. There are times that she would take me on these jobs, and I had a first-hand experience of how difficult they were. That is where I started developing a longing for a better life. Not just for me, but my family and all the others who were going through the same ordeal. From the little pennies I collected, I began my little savings account. A bank wouldn’t accept my little coins, and so I had a metallic tin, which I dubbed, “my treasure box.” As time went by, my little treasure box began being heavy. One day I decided to open it when I counted the amount; it was kind enough to buy a few packets of sweets. I bought the first three packets, and lucky enough, all of them sold out. The urge to buy more packs of sweets developed, and within no time, I had a small kiosk. Through several ups and downs, I managed to open a small shop with not just sweets but also other essential commodities. The shop did well, and I moved to a mini-market where I would do wholesale and retail services. I eventually opened a supermarket, and that is where my fortune came. Due to the excellent progress of this supermarket, I opened another branch, and the business began expanding. From a sweet seller to the director of a supermarket with branches nationwide! That is how I became my boss by creating opportunities for people like me who did not have a source of income.”

A personal accomplishment essay is as simple as that. You do not have to hustle for the so-called “great” stories. Look for that one achievement in your life and give it your best shot.

Topic Ideas for Writing the Greatest Accomplishment Essay

Show the great strides you made in your education and the accolades you received for the same.

Describe how your interest in medicine drove you to become a doctor

How does one not achieving a specific goal contribute to his/her failure?

  • The Importance of Accomplishment Discuss the privileges, results, and social impact of an accomplishment

Things to Avoid in an Accomplishment Essay

A good essay on accomplishment should not:

  • Be of an ancient achievement
  • Involve a friend, family, or marriage unless the story is genuinely distinctive and has a substantial impact.

To sum up, writing one of the most significant accomplishment essays bears a couple of requirements in mind. You should critically ask yourself specific questions and, after that, reflect on the experiences that answer those questions. If you have a problem on how to do this, we have experts with years of experience who can help you navigate through.

We also offer professional wring assistance with more essay samples for your inspiration. Contact us today.

Persuasive Research Paper Topics

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Student Essays

Essays-Paragraphs-Speeches

12 Essays on my Achievements [ Academic & Extra Curricular ]

The achievements, successes or accomplishments we gain in school are the part of best school life years.  Those achievements in middle, high school or college student life may include personal academic achievements and sports or extracurricular achievements. They may be greatest, the best or the bad but we never forget them.

List of Topics

My Achievements  in Life | Individual, Academic & Extra Curricular Achievements | My Achievements that I am Proud of

Achievements are the desires that we love to have for. They are our those goals we struggle to achieve. The achievements in personal or professional life are the true identity of a successful and struggling person. The following essay reflects the importance of achievements and a firm call for us to set and struggle to achieve those aims.

1. Essay about the Achievements that You are Proud of

Achievement is associated with the targeted goals or aims in life. When we define our action in relation to something like a goal a task is created. A task when fulfilled is called an achievement earned. The struggle in life is the sum total of our achievements, success, failures, mistakes.

Therefore, my achievement, my success or my accomplishment is the name given to my fulfilled goals. The failure, in turns, is the names given to my mistakes, my setbacks, and my loss. Every person in life has some achievements, accomplishments, rewards and successes earned. At the same time mistakes, failures and setbacks as well.

My achievements, my successes and my accomplishments are the one that make me happy and proud. Whereas, my mistakes, my failures and setbacks make me strong and bold.

There are various kinds of achievements one may have. There are some examples of achievements like personal achievements, academic achievements, sports achievements etc. There are various roles in which one achieves something. Taking myself as an example it would be like my achievements as a teacher, my accomplishments as student in school, college or in personal life.

My Academic Achievement

Academic achievements are those gains that are accomplished by a student during his high school, college or university life. These achievements are really the ones you remain prideful throughout your entire life.  Everyone who is well taught has some personal achievements including academic achievements as well.

  • My student life has given me many academic achievements that I must be proud of. Some of my academic achievements I have listed below.
  • My first academic achievement is that I have successfully completed my education till now with A+ throughout. It is my greatest achievement of life
  • My second greatest academic achievement is that I have successfully got admission in my desire career. My parents are proud of me.
  • They always wanted me to be a great doctor. It is my passion to serve my country.
  • My third biggest academic achievement is that on the basis of good scores and my professional degree, I got study scholarship for UK. I really loved my studying experience there.
  • My last academic accomplishment is that I am currently serving successfully as the head of city’s biggest health institute.

Related Post:   BEST LINES & MORE SENTENCES ESSAY ON MY SCHOOL.

2. My Sports (Extracurricular) Achievements Essay

Extracurricular activities are the part of a healthy person. I always take pride in participating in various extracurricular activities in my school. There are a few extracurricular achievements I must be proud of.

  •  My first extracurricular achievement was that I won a medal in annual inter schools speech and debates competition. I won first prize in class 5th.
  • I am also an avid reader and good writer. My second extracurricular achievement was that I won a cash prize of 10,000 rupees on a essay writing competition. I won with my essay on “Save trees Save Earth” during inter schools essay writing competition. I was in 7th grade at that time.
  • I have great interest in sports. I can play cricket very well. It was my biggest sports achievement that I helped my team win the tournament this year, in class 10th. I was awarded man of the match. It is a moment of pride and my greatest extracurricular success.

Achievements and success are the part of one’s life. These are my achievements in my school as a student. I feel a great sense of pride for my student life accomplishment. I will try my level best to add more best personal achievements in my coming life days.

3. Short Essay On My Achievements that I am Proud of

Achievements are the signs of good student life. They show the talent, the worth and the status of a student. To achieve something we work hard and we become focused. Therefore, we learn a lot of things like self discipline , hard work, dedication, self respect and motivation.

School life achievements are good and they must be the part of student’s life. I have a good many my school achievements. I must be proud of whatever I have achieved through out my personal life. I am the student of class (your current class). Currently I am studying at the school (Write the name of your school). Throughout my years of schools I have achieved valuable success.

I have some personal achievements, some academic achievements and a few extracurricular achievements. I have been a diligent and dedicated student of my school. In fact, I am the favorite student in my school. It is my greatest achievement that I have been getting A+ in all of my exams and assessments.

This achievement is in fact due to the hard work done under the guidance of my teachers and prayers of my parents. I always take interest in extracurricular activities. I am good speaker and good at playing cricket. It is my great extracurricular achievement that I secured first prize in inter schools debates and speech competition, held last month.

All of my school fellows and my teachers are proud of me. Apart from that I represented my team in annual inter schools cricket tournament. We successfully won the final match. It is my biggest sports achievement of student’s life. I will never forget.

I am grateful to my school teachers and my parents. Thanks to those achievements and set goals I struggled and worked hard. Thereby, I have known how to work hard and how to make achievements. My school achievements are surely going to help me to grow and gain more in my upcoming life days.

4. My School Achievements Paragraphs:

As a high school student, my school achievements hold a special place in my heart. They represent all the hard work, determination and passion that I have put into both academics and extracurricular activities.

One of my proudest achievements is being part of the school’s debate team. Being able to voice my opinions confidently and effectively has always been something I struggled with. However, with the help of my coaches and teammates, I was able to improve my public speaking skills and even won several regional and state-level competitions.

Apart from debating, I have also excelled in academics. Throughout high school, I have maintained a GPA of 4.0 and have been consistently ranked at the top of my class. This has not only brought me personal satisfaction but also earned me recognition from my teachers and peers.

In addition to academics, I have been actively involved in community service projects organized by my school. Through these initiatives, I have had the opportunity to give back to society and make a positive impact in my community. One of the most memorable moments was when our team raised funds for a local orphanage and spent an entire day playing and interacting with the children. It was a heartwarming experience that taught me the value of compassion and empathy.

Moreover, I have also been an active member of various clubs and organizations in school, such as the Interact Club and National Honor Society. These extracurricular activities have not only allowed me to explore my interests but also develop important leadership skills.

Overall, my school achievements have shaped me into the person I am today. They have taught me the importance of hard work, perseverance, and teamwork. I am grateful for all the opportunities that my school has provided me with and will always cherish the memories and lessons learned. However, I also understand that these achievements would not have been possible without the support and guidance of my teachers, parents, and peers. I am proud to be a part of such a supportive and nurturing community that values both academic excellence and personal growth.

5. Short Essay on My School Achievements as a Student:

My school life has been a roller coaster ride filled with ups and downs, but one thing that has remained constant is my determination to excel. Whether it was academics or extracurricular activities, I always pushed myself to be the best version of myself. As I look back on my journey, I am proud to say that my hard work and perseverance have paid off in the form of numerous achievements.

In terms of academics, I have always been a diligent student. I consistently topped my class and was awarded several academic excellence certificates. Along with maintaining good grades, I also actively participated in various school competitions like debates, elocution, and quizzes. These experiences not only helped improve my knowledge but also boosted my confidence.

Apart from academics, sports have always been a huge part of my life. I represented my school in various inter-school sports competitions and won several medals for both individual and team events. Being a part of the school’s sports teams also taught me important skills like teamwork, time management, and discipline.

Another achievement that I am extremely proud of is winning the title of “Best All-Rounder Student” in my school. This award is given to the student who excels in academics, sports, and extracurricular activities. It was a great feeling to be recognized for my overall performance and it motivated me to continue striving for excellence.

In conclusion, my school achievements as a student have not only brought me recognition but also shaped me into a well-rounded individual. I am grateful for all the opportunities my school provided me to showcase my talents and I will always cherish these memories. So, if you are a student reading this, remember to work hard and never give up on your dreams because your efforts will surely pay off in the end. Let your achievements speak for themselves!

6. Short Essay on My Greatest Accomplishment as a Student:

As a student, I have had the opportunity to learn and grow in various aspects of my life. However, if I were to choose one accomplishment that stands out above all others, it would be my ability to balance academics with extracurricular activities.

Throughout my academic journey, I have always been passionate about learning and achieving good grades. But at the same time, I also wanted to explore my interests in music, sports and volunteer work. Initially, it was challenging to juggle between academics and extracurriculars, but with determination and time management skills, I was able to excel in both areas.

One of the most significant milestones for me was when I received an award for academic excellence while simultaneously being recognized as the best athlete in the school. This achievement not only showcased my academic abilities but also highlighted my talent and dedication towards sports.

Moreover, I have always been drawn towards community service and making a positive impact in society. While balancing academics and extracurriculars, I actively participated in various volunteer projects, including organizing fundraisers for underprivileged children and contributing to environmental conservation efforts. Being able to balance my academic responsibilities and still make a difference in the community has been an incredibly fulfilling accomplishment for me.

In conclusion, balancing academics with extracurricular activities has been my greatest accomplishment as a student. It has taught me valuable lessons about time management, perseverance, and the importance of pursuing one’s passions.

This achievement not only reflects my hard work but also represents my holistic approach towards personal and academic growth. So, I encourage all students to strive for a balance between academics and extracurriculars, as it can lead to a well-rounded and fulfilling educational experience.

7. Short Achievement Essay For College:

As a college student, I have had my fair share of achievements and accomplishments. But one particular achievement stands out to me the most – being able to balance academics, extracurricular activities, and personal commitments.

During my high school years, I was always involved in various clubs and organizations such as student council, debate team, and community service groups. While these activities were fulfilling and allowed me to develop my skills in leadership, communication, and time management, they also required a significant amount of my time and energy. At the same time, I had to maintain good grades and prepare for college applications.

Juggling between these responsibilities was not an easy task, but it taught me invaluable lessons that have helped me succeed in college. I learned how to prioritize my tasks, manage my time effectively, and deal with pressure and stress. These skills are not only essential for academic success but also for personal growth.

Furthermore, being involved in extracurricular activities has allowed me to develop a diverse set of interests and expand my knowledge beyond the classroom. It has also helped me build strong relationships with my peers and mentors, which have been crucial in my personal and academic development.

Overall, I am proud of my ability to balance multiple commitments and still maintain a high level of achievement. It has not only helped me achieve success in college but also prepared me for the challenges of the real world. Through this experience, I have learned that hard work, determination, and time management are key factors in achieving one’s goals and making the most out of college life.

So, my advice to fellow college students would be to not only focus on academics but also explore opportunities outside the classroom and strive for a healthy balance in all aspects of your life. You will be surprised at how much you can achieve when you find that equilibrium. Cheers to achieving more accomplishments in the future!

8. Short Essay on I am Proud of My School Because:

I am a student of XYZ School, and I am proud to be a part of this institution. This school holds a special place in my heart because it has shaped me into the person I am today. It has not only provided me with academic knowledge but also taught me important life lessons that will stay with me forever.

One of the main reasons why I am proud of my school is because of its commitment to academic excellence. The teachers here are highly qualified and dedicated to their profession. They go above and beyond to ensure that we understand the concepts clearly and excel in our studies. Moreover, the school provides us with all the necessary resources to support our learning, including a well-stocked library, computer labs, and extracurricular activities.

This has helped me develop a love for learning and strive to do my best in all my academic pursuits.

Apart from academic excellence, my school also focuses on holistic development. It encourages students to participate in various extracurricular activities such as sports, music, art, and debates. These activities have not only helped me discover my interests but also taught me important values like teamwork, discipline, and time management.

Furthermore, my school promotes a culture of inclusivity and diversity. It celebrates different cultures and encourages students to respect each other’s differences. This has helped me develop an open-minded perspective and appreciate the uniqueness of every individual.

In conclusion, I am proud of my school because it not only provides quality education but also instills important values that will guide me throughout my life. It has given me a strong foundation to build upon and has prepared me to face the challenges of the future with confidence. I will always be grateful for the role my school has played in shaping me into a well-rounded individual.

9. Short Essay on High School Accomplishments:

My high school experience was filled with ups and downs, as I’m sure most people can relate to. However, despite the challenges, I am proud of the achievements I made during those years.

One of my biggest accomplishments in high school was becoming a member of the National Honor Society. This was a goal I had set for myself since freshman year, and achieving it in my junior year was a moment I will never forget. Being part of this prestigious organization not only recognized my academic achievements but also allowed me to give back to the community through various service projects.

Another achievement that holds a special place in my heart is winning first place in the state science fair. Science has always been a passion of mine, and being able to showcase my research and receive recognition for it was an incredibly rewarding experience.

But my high school achievements weren’t just limited to academics. I also excelled in sports, particularly on the varsity soccer team. My team and I won multiple championships, and being a part of such a close-knit group taught me valuable lessons about teamwork and perseverance.

Lastly, I am proud of how much I grew as an individual during my high school years. From overcoming personal obstacles to taking on leadership roles in various clubs and organizations, I learned the importance of resilience and adaptability.

Overall, my high school achievements are a testament to the hard work and determination I put into everything I do. They have shaped me into the person I am today and will continue to inspire me as I embark on new challenges in the future. So, I encourage all high schoolers to set goals for themselves and never give up on achieving them, because the satisfaction of success is truly worth it. Now go out there and make your own high school achievements! The sky’s the limit!

10. Short Essay on My Great Achievement in Life:

Everyone has their own opinion on what constitutes as a greatest achievement in life. Some may view landing their dream job or marrying the love of their life as their biggest accomplishment, while others may see personal growth and overcoming obstacles as theirs. For me, my greatest achievement in life is something that I never thought was possible and it’s something that has shaped me into the person I am today.

Growing up, I struggled with self-confidence and always felt like I wasn’t good enough. This led me to constantly doubt myself and my abilities, which ultimately hindered my personal growth. However, a few years ago, I made a conscious effort to break out of this mindset and started taking small steps towards self-improvement.

One of the biggest challenges for me was to step out of my comfort zone and try new things. It was terrifying at first, but I slowly started seeing the positive impact it had on my life. I began to gain confidence in myself and my abilities, which allowed me to take on bigger challenges without fear or hesitation.

But the moment that truly solidified this as my greatest achievement was when I decided to pursue something that I never thought I could do – running a marathon. Despite never being a runner, I trained for months and pushed myself to the limit on race day. Crossing that finish line was one of the most empowering experiences of my life and it’s something that I will always cherish.

This achievement taught me that with determination, hard work, and self-belief, anything is possible. It also showed me that my greatest achievements in life are not just about reaching a specific goal, but the journey and growth that comes with it. I am proud of where I am today and I am excited to see what other challenges and accomplishments lie ahead. So, my greatest achievement in life isn’t just one moment or event, but rather an ongoing journey of self-discovery and personal growth.

11. Short Results Day Speech:

Hello everyone,

Today is a very special day for all of us. It’s Results Day! I can see the excitement and nervousness in each one of your faces. Believe me, I know exactly how you feel because I have been there myself.

Firstly, congratulations to all the students who have received their results. Your hard work and dedication has paid off and you should be proud of yourselves. Your journey has just begun and you have achieved a major milestone.

For those who may not have received the results they were hoping for, it’s important to remember that this is not the end. There will be other opportunities and challenges in your life, and this is just one small part of your journey.

I want to remind all of you that success is not defined by a piece of paper. It’s about your attitude, determination and resilience in the face of challenges. Your grades do not define you, but rather your character and values.

As you move forward, remember to always believe in yourself and never give up on your dreams. Celebrate your achievements today, but also continue to strive for excellence in everything you do.

I wish you all the best in your future endeavors and I have no doubt that each one of you will go on to do great things. Congratulations once again and keep reaching for the stars!

12. Short Essay on My Achievement in School as a Teacher:

As a teacher, my ultimate goal is to inspire and empower my students to reach their full potential. Every day, I strive to create a positive learning environment where my students feel motivated and encouraged to learn. Over the years, I have had many accomplishments as a teacher, but one that stands out to me the most is the impact I have made on my students.

During my time as a teacher, I have seen numerous students who struggled with their studies and lacked confidence in themselves. These students often felt discouraged and believed that they were not capable of achieving success. However, with patience, hard work, and dedication, I was able to help these students overcome their obstacles and witness them excel in their academics.

My achievement as a teacher is not just measured by the grades my students receive, but also by the positive changes I see in them. It brings me great joy to see my students grow not only academically, but also as individuals. I have had students come back to me years later and tell me how much of an impact I had on their lives, which is truly humbling.

As a teacher, I have learned that every student has their own unique learning style and it is my responsibility to cater to each one of them. I constantly adapt my teaching methods to ensure all my students are engaged and understand the material. This approach has not only helped me achieve success as a teacher, but also helped create a lifelong love for learning in my students.

In conclusion, my greatest achievement as a teacher is the positive impact I have made on my students’ lives. Being able to inspire and empower them to reach their full potential has been an incredibly rewarding experience. As a teacher, I am constantly learning and growing alongside my students, and I look forward to many more achievements in the years to come.

1. What are some accomplishments for school?

Answer: School accomplishments can include academic achievements, sports achievements, leadership roles, community service, awards, or recognition for various school-related activities.

2. How to start an accomplishment essay?

Answer: Begin an accomplishment essay with a strong, attention-grabbing introduction. You can use a compelling anecdote, a significant event, or a personal reflection related to the accomplishment you want to discuss.

3. What are your target achievements for this school year?

Answer: Your target achievements for the school year can vary, but they may include improving grades, getting involved in extracurricular activities, aiming for leadership roles, or setting personal goals for self-improvement.

4. Should I include high school achievements on my resume?

Answer: It’s generally a good idea to include significant high school achievements on your resume if you’re a recent graduate or if they are directly relevant to the job you’re applying for. However, as you gain more work experience, these high school achievements can be phased out in favor of more recent and relevant accomplishments

Essay and speech for my school achievments

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10 Personal Statement Essay Examples That Worked

What’s covered:, what is a personal statement.

  • Essay 1: Summer Program
  • Essay 2: Being Bangladeshi-American
  • Essay 3: Why Medicine
  • Essay 4: Love of Writing
  • Essay 5: Starting a Fire
  • Essay 6: Dedicating a Track
  • Essay 7: Body Image and Eating Disorders
  • Essay 8: Becoming a Coach
  • Essay 9: Eritrea
  • Essay 10: Journaling
  • Is Your Personal Statement Strong Enough?

Your personal statement is any essay that you must write for your main application, such as the Common App Essay , University of California Essays , or Coalition Application Essay . This type of essay focuses on your unique experiences, ideas, or beliefs that may not be discussed throughout the rest of your application. This essay should be an opportunity for the admissions officers to get to know you better and give them a glimpse into who you really are.

In this post, we will share 10 different personal statements that were all written by real students. We will also provide commentary on what each essay did well and where there is room for improvement, so you can make your personal statement as strong as possible!

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Personal Statement Examples

Essay example #1: exchange program.

The twisting roads, ornate mosaics, and fragrant scent of freshly ground spices had been so foreign at first. Now in my fifth week of the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco, I felt more comfortable in the city. With a bag full of pastries from the market, I navigated to a bus stop, paid the fare, and began the trip back to my host family’s house. It was hard to believe that only a few years earlier my mom was worried about letting me travel around my home city on my own, let alone a place that I had only lived in for a few weeks. While I had been on a journey towards self-sufficiency and independence for a few years now, it was Morocco that pushed me to become the confident, self-reflective person that I am today.

As a child, my parents pressured me to achieve perfect grades, master my swim strokes, and discover interesting hobbies like playing the oboe and learning to pick locks. I felt compelled to live my life according to their wishes. Of course, this pressure was not a wholly negative factor in my life –– you might even call it support. However, the constant presence of my parents’ hopes for me overcame my own sense of desire and led me to become quite dependent on them. I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school. Despite all these achievements, I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success. I had always been expected to succeed on the path they had defined. However, this path was interrupted seven years after my parents’ divorce when my dad moved across the country to Oregon.

I missed my dad’s close presence, but I loved my new sense of freedom. My parents’ separation allowed me the space to explore my own strengths and interests as each of them became individually busier. As early as middle school, I was riding the light rail train by myself, reading maps to get myself home, and applying to special academic programs without urging from my parents. Even as I took more initiatives on my own, my parents both continued to see me as somewhat immature. All of that changed three years ago, when I applied and was accepted to the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco. I would be studying Arabic and learning my way around the city of Marrakesh. Although I think my parents were a little surprised when I told them my news, the addition of a fully-funded scholarship convinced them to let me go.

I lived with a host family in Marrakesh and learned that they, too, had high expectations for me. I didn’t know a word of Arabic, and although my host parents and one brother spoke good English, they knew I was there to learn. If I messed up, they patiently corrected me but refused to let me fall into the easy pattern of speaking English just as I did at home. Just as I had when I was younger, I felt pressured and stressed about meeting their expectations. However, one day, as I strolled through the bustling market square after successfully bargaining with one of the street vendors, I realized my mistake. My host family wasn’t being unfair by making me fumble through Arabic. I had applied for this trip, and I had committed to the intensive language study. My host family’s rules about speaking Arabic at home had not been to fulfill their expectations for me, but to help me fulfill my expectations for myself. Similarly, the pressure my parents had put on me as a child had come out of love and their hopes for me, not out of a desire to crush my individuality.

As my bus drove through the still-bustling market square and past the medieval Ben-Youssef madrasa, I realized that becoming independent was a process, not an event. I thought that my parents’ separation when I was ten had been the one experience that would transform me into a self-motivated and autonomous person. It did, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t still have room to grow. Now, although I am even more self-sufficient than I was three years ago, I try to approach every experience with the expectation that it will change me. It’s still difficult, but I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important.

What the Essay Did Well

This is a nice essay because it delves into particular character trait of the student and how it has been shaped and matured over time. Although it doesn’t focus the essay around a specific anecdote, the essay is still successful because it is centered around this student’s independence. This is a nice approach for a personal statement: highlight a particular trait of yours and explore how it has grown with you.

The ideas in this essay are universal to growing up—living up to parents’ expectations, yearning for freedom, and coming to terms with reality—but it feels unique to the student because of the inclusion of details specific to them. Including their oboe lessons, the experience of riding the light rail by themselves, and the negotiations with a street vendor helps show the reader what these common tropes of growing up looked like for them personally. 

Another strength of the essay is the level of self-reflection included throughout the piece. Since there is no central anecdote tying everything together, an essay about a character trait is only successful when you deeply reflect on how you felt, where you made mistakes, and how that trait impacts your life. The author includes reflection in sentences like “ I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success, ” and “ I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important. ” These sentences help us see how the student was impacted and what their point of view is.

What Could Be Improved

The largest change this essay would benefit from is to show not tell. The platitude you have heard a million times no doubt, but for good reason. This essay heavily relies on telling the reader what occurred, making us less engaged as the entire reading experience feels more passive. If the student had shown us what happens though, it keeps the reader tied to the action and makes them feel like they are there with the student, making it much more enjoyable to read. 

For example, they tell us about the pressure to succeed their parents placed on them: “ I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school.”  They could have shown us what that pressure looked like with a sentence like this: “ My stomach turned somersaults as my rattling knee thumped against the desk before every test, scared to get anything less than a 95. For five years the painful squawk of the oboe only reminded me of my parents’ claps and whistles at my concerts. I mastered the butterfly, backstroke, and freestyle, fighting against the anchor of their expectations threatening to pull me down.”

If the student had gone through their essay and applied this exercise of bringing more detail and colorful language to sentences that tell the reader what happened, the essay would be really great. 

Table of Contents

Essay Example #2: Being Bangladeshi-American

Life before was good: verdant forests, sumptuous curries, and a devoted family.

Then, my family abandoned our comfortable life in Bangladesh for a chance at the American dream in Los Angeles. Within our first year, my father was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. He lost his battle three weeks before my sixth birthday. Facing a new country without the steady presence of my father, we were vulnerable — prisoners of hardship in the land of the free. We resettled in the Bronx, in my uncle’s renovated basement. It was meant to be our refuge, but I felt more displaced than ever. Gone were the high-rise condos of West L.A.; instead, government projects towered over the neighborhood. Pedestrians no longer smiled and greeted me; the atmosphere was hostile, even toxic. Schoolkids were quick to pick on those they saw as weak or foreign, hurling harsh words I’d never heard before.

Meanwhile, my family began integrating into the local Bangladeshi community. I struggled to understand those who shared my heritage. Bangladeshi mothers stayed home while fathers drove cabs and sold fruit by the roadside — painful societal positions. Riding on crosstown buses or walking home from school, I began to internalize these disparities. During my fleeting encounters with affluent Upper East Siders, I saw kids my age with nannies, parents who wore suits to work, and luxurious apartments with spectacular views. Most took cabs to their destinations: cabs that Bangladeshis drove. I watched the mundane moments of their lives with longing, aching to plant myself in their shoes. Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

As I grappled with my relationship with the Bangladeshi community, I turned my attention to helping my Bronx community by pursuing an internship with Assemblyman Luis Sepulveda. I handled desk work and took calls, spending the bulk of my time actively listening to the hardships constituents faced — everything from a veteran stripped of his benefits to a grandmother unable to support her bedridden grandchild.

I’d never exposed myself to stories like these, and now I was the first to hear them. As an intern, I could only assist in what felt like the small ways — pointing out local job offerings, printing information on free ESL classes, reaching out to non-profits. But to a community facing an onslaught of intense struggles, I realized that something as small as these actions could have vast impacts. Seeing the immediate consequences of my actions inspired me. Throughout that summer, I internalized my community’s daily challenges in a new light. I began to stop seeing the prevalent underemployment and cramped living quarters less as sources of shame. Instead, I saw them as realities that had to be acknowledged, but could ultimately be remedied. I also realized the benefits of the Bangladeshi culture I had been so ashamed of. My Bangla language skills were an asset to the office, and my understanding of Bangladeshi etiquette allowed for smooth communication between office staff and its constituents. As I helped my neighbors navigate city services, I saw my heritage with pride — a perspective I never expected to have.

I can now appreciate the value of my unique culture and background, and of living with less. This perspective offers room for progress, community integration, and a future worth fighting for. My time with Assemblyman Sepulveda’s office taught me that I can be a change agent in enabling this progression. Far from being ashamed of my community, I want to someday return to local politics in the Bronx to continue helping others access the American Dream. I hope to help my community appreciate the opportunity to make progress together. By embracing reality, I learned to live it. Along the way, I discovered one thing: life is good, but we can make it better.

This student’s passion for social justice and civic duty shines through in this essay because of how honest it is. Sharing their personal experience with immigrating, moving around, being an outsider, and finding a community allows us to see the hardships this student has faced and builds empathy towards their situation. However, what really makes it strong is that they go beyond describing the difficulties they faced and explain the mental impact it had on them as a child: Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

The rejection of their culture presented at the beginning of the essay creates a nice juxtaposition with the student’s view in the latter half of the essay and helps demonstrate how they have matured. They use their experience interning as a way to delve into a change in their thought process about their culture and show how their passion for social justice began. Using this experience as a mechanism to explore their thoughts and feelings is an excellent example of how items that are included elsewhere on your application should be incorporated into your essay.

This essay prioritizes emotions and personal views over specific anecdotes. Although there are details and certain moments incorporated throughout to emphasize the author’s points, the main focus remains on the student and how they grapple with their culture and identity.  

One area for improvement is the conclusion. Although the forward-looking approach is a nice way to end an essay focused on social justice, it would be nice to include more details and imagery in the conclusion. How does the student want to help their community? What government position do they see themselves holding one day? 

A more impactful ending might look like the student walking into their office at the New York City Housing Authority in 15 years and looking at the plans to build a new development in the Bronx just blocks away from where the grew up that would provide quality housing to people in their Bangladeshi community. They would smile while thinking about how far they have come from that young kid who used to be ashamed of their culture. 

Essay Example #3: Why Medicine

I took my first trip to China to visit my cousin Anna in July of 2014. Distance had kept us apart, but when we were together, we fell into all of our old inside jokes and caught up on each other’s lives. Her sparkling personality and optimistic attitude always brought a smile to my face. This time, however, my heart broke when I saw the effects of her brain cancer; she had suffered from a stroke that paralyzed her left side. She was still herself in many ways, but I could see that the damage to her brain made things difficult for her. I stayed by her every day, providing the support she needed, whether assisting her with eating and drinking, reading to her, or just watching “Friends.” During my flight back home, sorrow and helplessness overwhelmed me. Would I ever see Anna again? Could I have done more to make Anna comfortable? I wished I could stay in China longer to care for her. As I deplaned, I wondered if I could transform my grief to help other children and teenagers in the US who suffered as Anna did.

The day after I got home, as jet lag dragged me awake a few minutes after midnight, I remembered hearing about the Family Reach Foundation (FRF) and its work with children going through treatments at the local hospital and their families. I began volunteering in the FRF’s Children’s Activity Room, where I play with children battling cancer. Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up. When they take on the roles of firefighters or fairies, we all get caught up in the game; for that time, they forget the sanitized, stark, impersonal walls of the pediatric oncology ward. Building close relationships with them and seeing them giggle and laugh is so rewarding — I love watching them grow and get better throughout their course of treatment.

Hearing from the parents about their children’s condition and seeing the children recover inspired me to consider medical research. To get started, I enrolled in a summer collegelevel course in Abnormal Psychology. There I worked with Catelyn, a rising college senior, on a data analysis project regarding Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Together, we examined the neurological etiology of DID by studying four fMRI and PET cases. I fell in love with gathering data and analyzing the results and was amazed by our final product: several stunning brain images showcasing the areas of hyper and hypoactivity in brains affected by DID. Desire quickly followed my amazement — I want to continue this project and study more brains. Their complexity, delicacy, and importance to every aspect of life fascinate me. Successfully completing this research project gave me a sense of hope; I know I am capable of participating in a large scale research project and potentially making a difference in someone else’s life through my research.

Anna’s diagnosis inspired me to begin volunteering at FRF; from there, I discovered my desire to help people further by contributing to medical research. As my research interest blossomed, I realized that it’s no coincidence that I want to study brains—after all, Anna suffered from brain cancer. Reflecting on these experiences this past year and a half, I see that everything I’ve done is connected. Sadly, a few months after I returned from China, Anna passed away. I am still sad, but as I run a toy truck across the floor and watch one of the little patients’ eyes light up, I imagine that she would be proud of my commitment to pursue medicine and study the brain.

This essay has a very strong emotional core that tugs at the heart strings and makes the reader feel invested. Writing about sickness can be difficult and doesn’t always belong in a personal statement, but in this case it works well because the focus is on how this student cared for her cousin and dealt with the grief and emotions surrounding her condition. Writing about the compassion she showed and the doubts and concerns that filled her mind keeps the focus on the author and her personality. 

This continues when she again discusses the activities she did with the kids at FRF and the personal reflection this experience allowed her to have. For example, she writes: Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up.

Concluding the essay with the sad story of her cousin’s passing brings the essay full circle and returns to the emotional heart of the piece to once again build a connection with the reader. However, it finishes on a hopeful note and demonstrates how this student has been able to turn a tragic experience into a source of lifelong inspiration. 

One thing this essay should be cognizant of is that personal statements should not read as summaries of your extracurricular resume. Although this essay doesn’t fully fall into that trap, it does describe two key extracurriculars the student participated in. However, the inclusion of such a strong emotional core running throughout the essay helps keep the focus on the student and her thoughts and feelings during these activities.

To avoid making this mistake, make sure you have a common thread running through your essay and the extracurriculars provide support to the story you are trying to tell, rather than crafting a story around your activities. And, as this essay does, make sure there is lots of personal reflection and feelings weaved throughout to focus attention to you rather than your extracurriculars. 

Essay Example #4: Love of Writing

“I want to be a writer.” This had been my answer to every youthful discussion with the adults in my life about what I would do when I grew up. As early as elementary school, I remember reading my writing pieces aloud to an audience at “Author of the Month” ceremonies. Bearing this goal in mind, and hoping to gain some valuable experience, I signed up for a journalism class during my freshman year. Despite my love for writing, I initially found myself uninterested in the subject and I struggled to enjoy the class. When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines. Journalism required a laconic style and orderly structure, and I found my teacher’s assignments formulaic and dull. That class shook my confidence as a writer. I was uncertain if I should continue in it for the rest of my high school career.

Despite my misgivings, I decided that I couldn’t make a final decision on whether to quit journalism until I had some experience working for a paper outside of the classroom. The following year, I applied to be a staff reporter on our school newspaper. I hoped this would help me become more self-driven and creative, rather than merely writing articles that my teacher assigned. To my surprise, my time on staff was worlds away from what I experienced in the journalism class. Although I was unaccustomed to working in a fast-paced environment and initially found it burdensome to research and complete high-quality stories in a relatively short amount of time, I also found it exciting. I enjoyed learning more about topics and events on campus that I did not know much about; some of my stories that I covered in my first semester concerned a chess tournament, a food drive, and a Spanish immersion party. I relished in the freedom I had to explore and learn, and to write more independently than I could in a classroom.

Although I enjoyed many aspects of working for the paper immediately, reporting also pushed me outside of my comfort zone. I am a shy person, and speaking with people I did not know intimidated me. During my first interview, I met with the basketball coach to prepare for a story about the team’s winning streak. As I approached his office, I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block, and I could hardly get out my opening questions. Fortunately, the coach was very kind and helped me through the conversation. Encouraged, I prepared for my next interview with more confidence. After a few weeks of practice, I even started to look forward to interviewing people on campus. That first journalism class may have bored me, but even if journalism in practice was challenging, it was anything but tedious.

Over the course of that year, I grew to love writing for our school newspaper. Reporting made me aware of my surroundings, and made me want to know more about current events on campus and in the town where I grew up. By interacting with people all over campus, I came to understand the breadth of individuals and communities that make up my high school. I felt far more connected to diverse parts of my school through my work as a journalist, and I realized that journalism gave me a window into seeing beyond my own experiences. The style of news writing may be different from what I used to think “writing” meant, but I learned that I can still derive exciting plots from events that may have gone unnoticed if not for my stories. I no longer struggle to approach others, and truly enjoy getting to know people and recognizing their accomplishments through my writing. Becoming a writer may be a difficult path, but it is as rewarding as I hoped when I was young.

This essay is clearly structured in a manner that makes it flow very nicely and contributes to its success. It starts with a quote to draw in the reader and show this student’s life-long passion for writing. Then it addresses the challenges of facing new, unfamiliar territory and how this student overcame it. Finally, it concludes by reflecting on this eye-opening experience and a nod to their younger self from the introduction. Having a well-thought out and sequential structure with clear transitions makes it extremely easy for the reader to follow along and take away the main idea.

Another positive aspect of the essay is the use of strong and expressive language. Sentences like “ When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines ” stand out because of the intentional use of words like “lyrical”, “profound”, and “thrilling” to convey the student’s love of writing. The author also uses an active voice to capture the readers’ attention and keep us engaged. They rely on their language and diction to reveal details to the reader, for instance saying “ I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block ” to describe feeling nervous.

This essay is already very strong, so there isn’t much that needs to be changed. One thing that could take the essay from great to outstanding would be to throw in more quotes, internal dialogue, and sensory descriptors.

It would be nice to see the nerves they felt interviewing the coach by including dialogue like “ Um…I want to interview you about…uh…”.  They could have shown their original distaste for journalism by narrating the thoughts running through their head. The fast-paced environment of their newspaper could have come to life with descriptions about the clacking of keyboards and the whirl of people running around laying out articles.

Essay Example #5: Starting a Fire

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

This student is an excellent writer, which allows a simple story to be outstandingly compelling. The author articulates her points beautifully and creatively through her immense use of details and figurative language. Lines like “a rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees,” and “rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers,” create vivid images that draw the reader in. 

The flowery and descriptive prose also contributes to the nice juxtaposition between the old Clara and the new Clara. The latter half of the essay contrasts elements of nature with music and writing to demonstrate how natural these interests are for her now. This sentence perfectly encapsulates the contrast she is trying to build: “It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive.”

In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction “Fire!” and ends with the following image: “When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.” This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.

There is very little this essay should change, however one thing to be cautious about is having an essay that is overly-descriptive. We know from the essay that this student likes to read and write, and depending on other elements of her application, it might make total sense to have such a flowery and ornate writing style. However, your personal statement needs to reflect your voice as well as your personality. If you would never use language like this in conversation or your writing, don’t put it in your personal statement. Make sure there is a balance between eloquence and your personal voice.

Essay Example #6: Dedicating a Track

“Getting beat is one thing – it’s part of competing – but I want no part in losing.” Coach Rob Stark’s motto never fails to remind me of his encouragement on early-morning bus rides to track meets around the state. I’ve always appreciated the phrase, but an experience last June helped me understand its more profound, universal meaning.

Stark, as we affectionately call him, has coached track at my high school for 25 years. His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running. When I learned a neighboring high school had dedicated their track to a longtime coach, I felt that Stark deserved similar honors.

Our school district’s board of education indicated they would only dedicate our track to Stark if I could demonstrate that he was extraordinary. I took charge and mobilized my teammates to distribute petitions, reach out to alumni, and compile statistics on the many team and individual champions Stark had coached over the years. We received astounding support, collecting almost 3,000 signatures and pages of endorsements from across the community. With help from my teammates, I presented this evidence to the board.

They didn’t bite. 

Most members argued that dedicating the track was a low priority. Knowing that we had to act quickly to convince them of its importance, I called a team meeting where we drafted a rebuttal for the next board meeting. To my surprise, they chose me to deliver it. I was far from the best public speaker in the group, and I felt nervous about going before the unsympathetic board again. However, at that second meeting, I discovered that I enjoy articulating and arguing for something that I’m passionate about.

Public speaking resembles a cross country race. Walking to the starting line, you have to trust your training and quell your last minute doubts. When the gun fires, you can’t think too hard about anything; your performance has to be instinctual, natural, even relaxed. At the next board meeting, the podium was my starting line. As I walked up to it, familiar butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Instead of the track stretching out in front of me, I faced the vast audience of teachers, board members, and my teammates. I felt my adrenaline build, and reassured myself: I’ve put in the work, my argument is powerful and sound. As the board president told me to introduce myself, I heard, “runners set” in the back of my mind. She finished speaking, and Bang! The brief silence was the gunshot for me to begin. 

The next few minutes blurred together, but when the dust settled, I knew from the board members’ expressions and the audience’s thunderous approval that I had run quite a race. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough; the board voted down our proposal. I was disappointed, but proud of myself, my team, and our collaboration off the track. We stood up for a cause we believed in, and I overcame my worries about being a leader. Although I discovered that changing the status quo through an elected body can be a painstakingly difficult process and requires perseverance, I learned that I enjoy the challenges this effort offers. Last month, one of the school board members joked that I had become a “regular” – I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Just as Stark taught me, I worked passionately to achieve my goal. I may have been beaten when I appealed to the board, but I certainly didn’t lose, and that would have made Stark proud.

This essay effectively conveys this student’s compassion for others, initiative, and determination—all great qualities to exemplify in a personal statement!

Although they rely on telling us a lot of what happened up until the board meeting, the use of running a race (their passion) as a metaphor for public speaking provides a lot of insight into the fear that this student overcame to work towards something bigger than themself. Comparing a podium to the starting line, the audience to the track, and silence to the gunshot is a nice way of demonstrating this student’s passion for cross country running without making that the focus of the story.

The essay does a nice job of coming full circle at the end by explaining what the quote from the beginning meant to them after this experience. Without explicitly saying “ I now know that what Stark actually meant is…” they rely on the strength of their argument above to make it obvious to the reader what it means to get beat but not lose. 

One of the biggest areas of improvement in the intro, however, is how the essay tells us Stark’s impact rather than showing us: His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

The writer could’ve helped us feel a stronger emotional connection to Stark if they had included examples of Stark’s qualities, rather than explicitly stating them. For example, they could’ve written something like: Stark was the kind of person who would give you gas money if you told him your parents couldn’t afford to pick you up from practice. And he actually did that—several times. At track meets, alumni regularly would come talk to him and tell him how he’d changed their lives. Before Stark, I was ambivalent about running and was on the JV team, but his encouragement motivated me to run longer and harder and eventually make varsity. Because of him, I approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

Essay Example #7: Body Image and Eating Disorders

I press the “discover” button on my Instagram app, hoping to find enticing pictures to satisfy my boredom. Scrolling through, I see funny videos and mouth-watering pictures of food. However, one image stops me immediately. A fit teenage girl with a “perfect body” relaxes in a bikini on a beach. Beneath it, I see a slew of flattering comments. I shake with disapproval over the image’s unrealistic quality. However, part of me still wants to have a body like hers so that others will make similar comments to me.

I would like to resolve a silent issue that harms many teenagers and adults: negative self image and low self-esteem in a world where social media shapes how people view each other. When people see the façades others wear to create an “ideal” image, they can develop poor thought patterns rooted in negative self-talk. The constant comparisons to “perfect” others make people feel small. In this new digital age, it is hard to distinguish authentic from artificial representations.

When I was 11, I developed anorexia nervosa. Though I was already thin, I wanted to be skinny like the models that I saw on the magazine covers on the grocery store stands. Little did I know that those models probably also suffered from disorders, and that photoshop erased their flaws. I preferred being underweight to being healthy. No matter how little I ate or how thin I was, I always thought that I was too fat. I became obsessed with the number on the scale and would try to eat the least that I could without my parents urging me to take more. Fortunately, I stopped engaging in anorexic behaviors before middle school. However, my underlying mental habits did not change. The images that had provoked my disorder in the first place were still a constant presence in my life.

By age 15, I was in recovery from anorexia, but suffered from depression. While I used to only compare myself to models, the growth of social media meant I also compared myself to my friends and acquaintances. I felt left out when I saw my friends’ excitement about lake trips they had taken without me. As I scrolled past endless photos of my flawless, thin classmates with hundreds of likes and affirming comments, I felt my jealousy spiral. I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.” When that didn’t work, I started to feel too anxious to post anything at all.  

Body image insecurities and social media comparisons affect thousands of people – men, women, children, and adults – every day. I am lucky – after a few months of my destructive social media habits, I came across a video that pointed out the illusory nature of social media; many Instagram posts only show off good things while people hide their flaws. I began going to therapy, and recovered from my depression. To address the problem of self-image and social media, we can all focus on what matters on the inside and not what is on the surface. As an effort to become healthy internally, I started a club at my school to promote clean eating and radiating beauty from within. It has helped me grow in my confidence, and today I’m not afraid to show others my struggles by sharing my experience with eating disorders. Someday, I hope to make this club a national organization to help teenagers and adults across the country. I support the idea of body positivity and embracing difference, not “perfection.” After all, how can we be ourselves if we all look the same?

This essay covers the difficult topics of eating disorders and mental health. If you’re thinking about covering similar topics in your essay, we recommend reading our post Should You Talk About Mental Health in College Essays?

The short answer is that, yes, you can talk about mental health, but it can be risky. If you do go that route, it’s important to focus on what you learned from the experience.

The strength of this essay is the student’s vulnerability, in excerpts such as this: I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.”

The student goes on to share how they recovered from their depression through an eye-opening video and therapy sessions, and they’re now helping others find their self-worth as well. It’s great that this essay looks towards the future and shares the writer’s goals of making their club a national organization; we can see their ambition and compassion.

The main weakness of this essay is that it doesn’t focus enough on their recovery process, which is arguably the most important part. They could’ve told us more about the video they watched or the process of starting their club and the interactions they’ve had with other members. Especially when sharing such a vulnerable topic, there should be vulnerability in the recovery process too. That way, the reader can fully appreciate all that this student has overcome.

Essay Example #8: Becoming a Coach

”Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay begins with an in-the-moment narrative that really illustrates the chaos of looking for a coach last-minute. We feel the writer’s emotions, particularly her dejectedness, at not being able to compete. Starting an essay in media res  is a great way to capture the attention of your readers and build anticipation for what comes next.

Through this essay, we can see how gutsy and determined the student is in deciding to become a coach themselves. She shows us these characteristics through their actions, rather than explicitly telling us: To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side.  Also, by discussing the opposition she faced and how it affected her, the student is open and vulnerable about the reality of the situation.

The essay comes full circle as the author recalls the frantic situations in seeking out a coach, but this is no longer a concern for them and their team. Overall, this essay is extremely effective in painting this student as mature, bold, and compassionate.

The biggest thing this essay needs to work on is showing not telling. Throughout the essay, the student tells us that she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence,” she “grew unsure of her own abilities,” and she “refused to give up”. What we really want to know is what this looks like.

Instead of saying she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence” she should have shared how she taught a new move to a fellow team-member without hesitation. Rather than telling us she “grew unsure of her own abilities” she should have shown what that looked like by including her internal dialogue and rhetorical questions that ran through her mind. She could have demonstrated what “refusing to give up” looks like by explaining how she kept learning coaching techniques on her own, turned to a mentor for advice, or devised a plan to win over the trust of parents. 

Essay Example #9: Eritrea

No one knows where Eritrea is.

On the first day of school, for the past nine years, I would pensively stand in front of a class, a teacher, a stranger  waiting for the inevitable question: Where are you from?

I smile politely, my dimples accentuating my ambiguous features. “Eritrea,” I answer promptly and proudly. But I  am always prepared. Before their expression can deepen into confusion, ready to ask “where is that,” I elaborate,  perhaps with a fleeting hint of exasperation, “East Africa, near Ethiopia.”

Sometimes, I single out the key-shaped hermit nation on a map, stunning teachers who have “never had a student  from there!” Grinning, I resist the urge to remark, “You didn’t even know it existed until two minutes ago!”

Eritrea is to the East of Ethiopia, its arid coastline clutches the lucrative Red Sea. Battle scars litter the ancient  streets – the colonial Italian architecture lathered with bullet holes, the mosques mangled with mortar shells.  Originally part of the world’s first Christian kingdom, Eritrea passed through the hands of colonial Italy, Britain, and  Ethiopia for over a century, until a bloody thirty year war of Independence liberated us.

But these are facts that anyone can know with a quick Google search. These are facts that I have memorised and compounded, first from my Grandmother and now from pristine books  borrowed from the library.

No historical narrative, however, can adequately capture what Eritrea is.  No one knows the aroma of bushels of potatoes, tomatoes, and garlic – still covered in dirt – that leads you to the open-air market. No one knows the poignant scent of spices, arranged in orange piles reminiscent of compacted  dunes.  No one knows how to haggle stubborn herders for sheep and roosters for Christmas celebrations as deliberately as my mother. No one can replicate the perfect balance of spices in dorho and tsebhi as well as my grandmother,  her gnarly hands stirring the pot with ancient precision (chastising my clumsy knife work with the potatoes).  It’s impossible to learn when the injera is ready – the exact moment you have to lift the lid of the mogogo. Do it too  early (or too late) and the flatbread becomes mangled and gross. It is a sixth sense passed through matriarchal  lineages.

There are no sources that catalogue the scent of incense that wafts through the sunlit porch on St. Michael’s; no  films that can capture the luminescence of hundreds of flaming bonfires that fluoresce the sidewalks on Kudus  Yohannes, as excited children chant Ge’ez proverbs whose origin has been lost to time.  You cannot learn the familiarity of walking beneath the towering Gothic figure of the Enda Mariam Cathedral, the  crowds undulating to the ringing of the archaic bells.  I have memorized the sound of the rains hounding the metal roof during kiremti , the heat of the sun pounding  against the Toyota’s window as we sped down towards Ghinda , the opulent brilliance of the stars twinkling in a  sky untainted by light pollution, the scent of warm rolls of bani wafting through the streets at precisely 6 o’clock each day…

I fill my flimsy sketchbook with pictures from my memory. My hand remembers the shapes of the hibiscus drifting  in the wind, the outline of my grandmother (affectionately nicknamed a’abaye ) leaning over the garden, the bizarre architecture of the Fiat Tagliero .  I dice the vegetables with movements handed down from generations. My nose remembers the scent of frying garlic, the sourness of the warm tayta , the sharpness of the mit’mt’a …

This knowledge is intrinsic.  “I am Eritrean,” I repeat. “I am proud.”  Within me is an encyclopedia of history, culture, and idealism.

Eritrea is the coffee made from scratch, the spices drying in the sun, the priests and nuns. Eritrea is wise, filled with ambition, and unseen potential.  Eritrea isn’t a place, it’s an identity.

This is an exceptional essay that provides a window into this student’s culture that really makes their love for their country and heritage leap off the page. The sheer level of details and sensory descriptors this student is able to fit in this space makes the essay stand out. From the smells, to the traditions, sounds, and sights, the author encapsulates all the glory of Eritrea for the reader. 

The vivid images this student is able to create for the reader, whether it is having the tedious conversation with every teacher or cooking in their grandmother’s kitchen, transports us into the story and makes us feel like we are there in the moment with the student. This is a prime example of an essay that shows , not tells.

Besides the amazing imagery, the use of shorter paragraphs also contributes to how engaging this essay is. Employing this tactic helps break up the text to make it more readable and it isolates ideas so they stick out more than if they were enveloped in a large paragraph.

Overall, this is a really strong essay that brings to life this student’s heritage through its use of vivid imagery. This essay exemplifies what it means to show not tell in your writing, and it is a great example of how you can write an intimate personal statement without making yourself the primary focus of your essay. 

There is very little this essay should improve upon, but one thing the student might consider would be to inject more personal reflection into their response. Although we can clearly take away their deep love and passion for their homeland and culture, the essay would be a bit more personal if they included the emotions and feelings they associate with the various aspects of Eritrea. For example, the way their heart swells with pride when their grandmother praises their ability to cook a flatbread or the feeling of serenity when they hear the bells ring out from the cathedral. Including personal details as well as sensory ones would create a wonderful balance of imagery and reflection.

Essay Example #10: Journaling

Flipping past dozens of colorful entries in my journal, I arrive at the final blank sheet. I press my pen lightly to the page, barely scratching its surface to create a series of loops stringing together into sentences. Emotions spill out, and with their release, I feel lightness in my chest. The stream of thoughts slows as I reach the bottom of the page, and I gently close the cover of the worn book: another journal finished.

I add the journal to the stack of eleven books on my nightstand. Struck by the bittersweet sensation of closing a chapter of my life, I grab the notebook at the bottom of the pile to reminisce.

“I want to make a flying mushen to fly in space and your in it” – October 2008

Pulling back the cover of my first Tinkerbell-themed diary, the prompt “My Hopes and Dreams” captures my attention. Though “machine” is misspelled in my scribbled response, I see the beginnings of my past obsession with outer space. At the age of five, I tore through novels about the solar system, experimented with rockets built from plastic straws, and rented Space Shuttle films from Blockbuster to satisfy my curiosities. While I chased down answers to questions as limitless as the universe, I fell in love with learning. Eight journals later, the same relentless curiosity brought me to an airplane descending on San Francisco Bay.

“I wish I had infinite sunsets” – July 2019

I reach for the charcoal notepad near the top of the pile and open to the first page: my flight to the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes. While I was excited to explore bioengineering, anxiety twisted in my stomach as I imagined my destination, unsure of whether I could overcome my shyness and connect with others.

With each new conversation, the sweat on my palms became less noticeable, and I met students from 23 different countries. Many of the moments where I challenged myself socially revolved around the third story deck of the Jerry house. A strange medley of English, Arabic, and Mandarin filled the summer air as my friends and I gathered there every evening, and dialogues at sunset soon became moments of bliss. In our conversations about cultural differences, the possibility of an afterlife, and the plausibility of far-fetched conspiracy theories, I learned to voice my opinion. As I was introduced to different viewpoints, these moments challenged my understanding of the world around me. In my final entries from California, I find excitement to learn from others and increased confidence, a tool that would later allow me to impact my community.

“The beauty in a tower of cans” – June 2020

Returning my gaze to the stack of journals, I stretch to take the floral-patterned book sitting on top. I flip through, eventually finding the beginnings of the organization I created during the outbreak of COVID-19. Since then, Door-to-Door Deliveries has woven its way through my entries and into reality, allowing me to aid high-risk populations through free grocery delivery.

With the confidence I gained the summer before, I took action when seeing others in need rather than letting my shyness hold me back. I reached out to local churches and senior centers to spread word of our services and interacted with customers through our website and social media pages. To further expand our impact, we held two food drives, and I mustered the courage to ask for donations door-to-door. In a tower of canned donations, I saw the value of reaching out to help others and realized my own potential to impact the world around me.

I delicately close the journal in my hands, smiling softly as the memories reappear, one after another. Reaching under my bed, I pull out a fresh notebook and open to its first sheet. I lightly press my pen to the page, “And so begins the next chapter…”

The structuring of this essay makes it easy and enjoyable to read. The student effectively organizes their various life experiences around their tower of journals, which centers the reader and makes the different stories easy to follow. Additionally, the student engages quotes from their journals—and unique formatting of the quotes—to signal that they are moving in time and show us which memory we should follow them to.

Thematically, the student uses the idea of shyness to connect the different memories they draw out of their journals. As the student describes their experiences overcoming shyness at the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes and Door-to-Door Deliveries, this essay can be read as an Overcoming Obstacles essay.

At the end of this essay, readers are fully convinced that this student is dedicated (they have committed to journaling every day), thoughtful (journaling is a thoughtful process and, in the essay, the student reflects thoughtfully on the past), and motivated (they flew across the country for a summer program and started a business). These are definitely qualities admissions officers are looking for in applicants!

Although this essay is already exceptionally strong as it’s written, the first journal entry feels out of place compared to the other two entries that discuss the author’s shyness and determination. It works well for the essay to have an entry from when the student was younger to add some humor (with misspelled words) and nostalgia, but if the student had either connected the quote they chose to the idea of overcoming a fear present in the other two anecdotes or if they had picked a different quote all together related to their shyness, it would have made the entire essay feel more cohesive.

Where to Get Your Personal Statement Edited

Do you want feedback on your personal statement? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

Next Step: Supplemental Essays

Essay Guides for Each School

How to Write a Stellar Extracurricular Activity College Essay

4 Tips for Writing a Diversity College Essay

How to Write the “Why This College” Essay

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Being Successful in College

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Published: Mar 14, 2024

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College applications are all about showing off to the admissions committee, and what better way to do so than to lead with your most impressive academic awards.   What are the best academic honors and awards to put on a college application?

In this guide, we give you 7 0+ academic honors examples to give you an idea of what types of achievements colleges like to see most on applications.   In addition, we explain what counts as an academic honor or award, go over different impressive academic honors and awards examples you can get, and give you useful tips for effectively talking about awards on your application.

What Is an Academic Honor or Award?

First things first, what counts as an academic honor or award?

Generally speaking, an academic honor or award is any major achievement you’ve made and been recognized for in some way.   The form of recognition can range from an actual object, such as a trophy or plaque, to prize money, a title, or verbal recognition.

Typically, an academic honor will fall into one of the following categories:

  • Distinction, honor, or honorable mention  for which you won’t usually receive a physical object or award—just the title
  • A diploma or certificate indicating the completion of a program or recognizing an accomplishment in a program or other activity
  • Prize or award won from a contest, competition, or tournament
  • Scholarship given in recognition of an outstanding (academic) accomplishment
  • Membership in a highly selective and competitive group or society

If you’ve won any awards for specific activities such as a sport you play or a club you’re part of, it’s better to list these in the extracurricular activities section of your application instead of in a separate awards section.

So what are some honors and awards to put on a college application? Up next, we'll take a look at more than 70 academic honors examples.

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Academic Honors and Awards Examples

Here, we give you a list of 70+ academic honors and awards examples you could include on your own college application, from prizes won in national and international contests to school-based distinctions and awards.

All the academic honors examples below are grouped by category and listed alphabetically.

Note that this is not an exhaustive list of all academic honors and awards you could possibly have, so if you have an achievement that doesn’t exactly match one of the examples below, don’t worry—you can still put it on your college application!

Advanced Placement (AP) Awards

  • AP International Diploma (APID)
  • AP Scholar with Distinction
  • AP Scholar with Honor
  • DoDEA AP Scholar
  • International AP Scholar
  • National AP Scholar
  • State AP Scholar
  • IB Middle Years Programme (MYP) Certificate

National Awards

  • Governor’s Volunteer Award
  • National Student Volunteer Award
  • President’s Award for Educational Achievement
  • President’s Award for Educational Excellence
  • President’s National Service Award

PSAT Awards

  • National Hispanic Scholar
  • National Merit Commended Student
  • National Merit Finalist
  • National Merit Scholar
  • National Merit Semifinalist
  • School-based National Merit Scholarship winner

School-Based Awards

  • Foreign language award
  • High class rank (e.g., top 10%)
  • Honor roll/GPA award
  • National Honor Society membership
  • Perfect Attendance Award
  • School-specific award
  • School subject-specific award
  • Student of the Month/Term/Year
  • Subject-specific Honor Society membership (e.g., Science Honor Society)

Competitions and Contests

  • AAN Neuroscience Research Prize
  • Academic Decathlon
  • Academic Triathlon
  • American Regions Mathematics League (ARML)
  • B.E.S.T. Robotics Design contest
  • Conrad Spirit of Innovation Challenge
  • Davidson Fellows Scholarship
  • Doodle 4 Google
  • Google Science Fair
  • Intel International Science and Engineering Fair (ISEF)
  • International BioGENEius Challenge
  • International Chemistry Olympiad
  • International Mathematical Olympiad
  • International Photography Awards (IPA)
  • Kids Philosophy Slam
  • Microsoft Imagine Cup
  • MIT INSPIRE
  • MIT THINK Scholars Program
  • National Academic League
  • National Academic Quiz Tournament
  • National Economics Challenge by CEE
  • National Geographic Bee
  • National Geographic Student Photo Contest
  • National High School Mock Trial Championship
  • National Science Bowl
  • National Science Olympiad
  • PhysicsBowl
  • Regeneron Science Talent Search (STS)
  • Regional/National Junior Science and Humanities Symposium
  • Scholastic Art & Writing Awards
  • Toshiba/NSTA ExploraVision Awards
  • University Interscholastic League (UIL)

Miscellaneous Awards

  • Boy Scouts/Eagle Scouts awards
  • Employee of the Month
  • Girl Scouts awards
  • Merit scholarships for college
  • Musical performance award
  • National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) winner
  • National Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo) winner
  • Publications (such as short stories, art pieces, essays, etc.)
  • Volunteer award
  • Work award or promotion

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The Best Honors and Awards to Put on a College Application

Of the dozens of academic honors examples above, which ones will look the most impressive on a college application?  Here, we explain the top four qualities a truly impressive academic honor will have. 

Note that an honor doesn’t need to have all  these qualities, though if it does, then it is definitely an excellent one to put on your application!

#1: It’s Highly Selective

One quality you want to highlight on your application is the selectivity of the award or honor you’ve won.  In other words, the academic award will be one that a lot of students try to win, making it difficult to achieve.

For example, because national and international contests and competitions draw so many student competitors, winning an award like these would certainly impress the admissions committee.

The more selective an academic honor or award is, the more impressive it’ll look on your college application.

Academic Honors Examples of Highly Selective Awards

  • Google Science Fair winner

#2: It’s Unique

Admissions committees see a lot of honor roll and National Society honors on college applications (not that these are bad — they’re just fairly common). So if you've won a particularly unique or rare award, definitely include it on your application, as this will  help you stand out from the crowd.

A unique award can be highly selective; it can also be one that is less well known or that highlights something creative, surprising, or impressive about you.

For instance, maybe you won the Most Innovative Employee award at your part-time job after you pitched the idea to create and manage a social media page for the company.

Academic Honors Examples of Unique Awards

  • Specific school-based awards (e.g., Most Confident Speaker in Chinese Class)
  • Local or community-based awards 

#3: It’s Relevant to Your Academic Interests and Strengths

Another academic award or honor that's  great to include on your college application is one that’s relevant to your academic interests and strengths.  These are typically subject- or field-specific awards, such as English or writing awards, math awards, etc.

For example, if you’re planning to major in engineering, you'd want to detail any awards you might have won in science, math, or engineering contests.

Relevant awards indicate to the admissions committee not only that you’re truly committed to the field you want to study, but also that you’re one of the most promising students in your field.

Academic Honors Examples of Relevant Awards

  • Writing award or publication (if you’re an English or creative writing major, for example)
  • STEM award (if you’re a STEM major)
  • Model UN (if you’re a political science or IR major, for example)

#4: It Highlights Your Leadership Potential

An impressive academic honor or award will also emphasize your leadership potential.  These are typically   awards that involve group or collaborative work.  S o if you ever led others to success — as a captain or president, for instance — this kind of honor would look great to potential colleges.

Just make sure that you explain on your application what kind of role you had and how your leadership specifically led your team to success.

Academic Honors Examples of Leadership/Group Awards

  • Volunteer awards
  • Girl Scouts or Eagle Scouts awards

How to Talk About Honors on Your College Application: 4 Tips

Since you likely won’t have a lot of room to write about academic honors and awards on your application, it's important that   you present your academic achievements in an effective, impressive way.  Here are some tips on how to talk about the awards you've won.

Tip 1: Open With Your Most Impressive Awards

Admissions officers don’t usually spend a lot of time with each application they get, so you want to make sure that you’re catching their eyes right away by starting with your most impressive honors and awards.  These will generally be awards that are highly competitive and required a lot of work and commitment on your end.

Tip 2: Focus on Your Spike

A "spike" is a particular academic passion you have.   For example, if you’re a science buff who plans to major in chemistry, you'd want to emphasize your spike on your application by focusing primarily on your chemistry- and science-related activities and awards.

Having a spike will ultimately help you stand out from other applicants.  To learn more about how you can develop a spike, check out our guide on how to get into Harvard and the Ivy League .

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Tip 3: Describe Awards That Are Vague or Unclear

Not all academic awards and honors are well known or obvious, especially if they’re unique to your school or area. Therefore, m ake sure that you’re using the space you have in the awards section of your application to describe any academic honors that the admissions committee is probably unfamiliar with.

The last thing you want an award to do is confuse admissions officers, so be clear about what it is, how you won it, and what makes it impressive.

Tip 4: Explain the Competitiveness of the Award

For each academic award or honor you’ve won, you want to clarify its level of competitiveness by explaining the scope of the competition.  For example, was the science tournament you won a national one? A local one? A school-based one?

Note that if the award has the word "national" or "international" in it, you shouldn’t have to add much explanation to its description since it'll be obvious that the award is fairly selective.

The overall point here is to show off!

Recap: Honors and Awards to Put on a College Application

As you can see, there's a huge variety in the types of academic honors and awards examples you can put on your college application. The 70+ academic honors examples listed above are just some of the possible honors you could include.

In general, the best academic honors to include on your application will have some or all of the following qualities:

  • They’re highly selective/competitive
  • They’re unique
  • They highlight your academic interests and strengths (your "spike," that is)
  • They emphasize your leadership skills/potential

You won’t have a ton of space on your application to explain the academic awards you’ve won, so it’s important to use the room you have wisely. To reiterate, h ere are our four best tips for how to talk about your academic awards and honors on your application:

  • Open with your most impressive awards and honors
  • Focus on your spike —i.e.,  your biggest academic passion and commitment
  • Describe any vague, unclear, or lesser-known awards/honors you've received
  • Explain the competitiveness of the award

Now get out there and win some awards!

What’s Next?

Lots of colleges use the Common App . If you're going to be using this platform to apply to college, make sure you know what to expect with the Common App honors section .

Planning to take AP tests in the spring? If you're hoping to snag a distinguished AP award , read our guide to get tips on how you can do this.

Honors can prove that you're a serious and ambitious college applicant.  Check out our expert guide to learn what high school honors is and how you can achieve honors status at your own high school.

Want to build the best possible college application?   We can help.   PrepScholar Admissions combines world-class admissions counselors with our data-driven, proprietary admissions strategies. We've guided thousands of students to get into their top choice schools, from state colleges to the Ivy League. We know what kinds of students colleges want to admit and are driven to get you admitted to your dream schools. Learn more about PrepScholar Admissions to maximize your chance of getting in:

Hannah received her MA in Japanese Studies from the University of Michigan and holds a bachelor's degree from the University of Southern California. From 2013 to 2015, she taught English in Japan via the JET Program. She is passionate about education, writing, and travel.

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achievement essay for college

January 31, 2024

Strategy for Writing an Accomplishment Essay (with examples)

achievement essay for college

Maybe you’re familiar with macros – the nutrients your body needs to function. Achieving the proper balance of macros leads to optimal health. When it comes to writing your MBA personal statements and application essays, it might be helpful to think of your accomplishments as the carbohydrates, protein, and fat – in other words, the macros – you need to make your submissions the best they can be. A fascinating brainstorming session among Accepted’s admissions consultants revealed that applicants don’t always understand how MBA adcoms define an accomplishment, so we wrote this post to explain what goes into the recipe for an enticing “accomplishments sandwich” and remove the guesswork on your part. Here are the simple macros:

Carbohydrates = Impact and Initiative

Protein = Overcoming Obstacles

Fats = Demonstrating Leadership

Carbohydrates are known as the “staff of life,” something nearly everyone considers a staple of their diet. Similarly, for your accomplishment essay, your “carbs” are what will . 

For example, maybe you took the initiative to boost membership in a group or led a team to victory. Perhaps you built a coalition in student government. Or you increased sales, cut costs, or found a solution to a problem that paved the way for a critical deal to go forward.

achievement essay for college

When you assess whether your achievements belong in a greatest accomplishment essay, think impact and initiative . 

Do awards count? It depends. If you won an award for a published story, an athletic competition, or some other “personal best,” then yes, those would be excellent choices for an essay about a personal achievement. More often, however, you will be asked to write about a significant achievement with impact beyond your own personal growth . In these situations, an award you’d like to write about would have had to result from an effort – either academic or professional – that involved a team or people other than yourself. This is the kind of achievement that transcends a “personal best.”  

By now, you can probably see the difference between a primarily personal achievement and a career-related one. You might even already recognize which of your accomplishments are notable enough to write about. But let’s say you don’t have much that feels important enough. How you can identify potential experiences for your accomplishments essay?

A good place to start is by reviewing your resume. Ideally, it will be loaded with as many quantifiable achievements as possible, from both professional and extracurricular roles. If you work in marketing and clinched four new accounts in a single year, leading to a promotion, that’s an achievement. If you work in a social service agency and developed a new intake system for clients that the agency adopted, leading to a more organized and streamlined process, that’s an achievement. In college, you might have been involved in a student organization that promotes career development and leadership among minority students, and even became president of that organization. That’s an achievement.

Which experiences on your resume stand out to you now? No doubt you’ll start to see things popping out at you.

Seemingly small achievements can also be big. The following sample essay offers a great example where the impact seems limited to one person but radiates outward: 

From the first day I was tasked to mentor a new hire, Thomas, it was a challenge. He had strong work experience in product development at his previous job, but he was soft-spoken and reserved, and had a strong stutter. I felt pain for him as he struggled to complete a word or a sentence, but it was also awkward for both of us as I waited for him to finish his point. During a department meeting, someone actually rolled her eyes as Thomas was answering a question. I just glared at her for being so cold. At our weekly department lunches, which were meant to be a relaxed social time for everyone, Thomas hung back quietly, seeming like he was a million miles away. 

I still didn’t understand why Thomas seemed a little slow to catch on to the ways of our department. He was clearly very intelligent. It was taking me longer to complete my own work because of the extra time I was spending with him on his assignments. One afternoon on a whim, I invited him to join me for dinner at a popular burger place. He looked surprised but agreed.

That night broke the ice. Thomas relaxed and enjoyed his dinner, and I noticed his speech was more fluid as well. We discovered a mutual love of soccer and political thriller novels. I really enjoyed his company and told him so. We went out again the following week to an Italian place that he chose. On our third “date,” Thomas opened up about a broken engagement that happened just before he started this new job. He knew that his grief was distracting him, clouding his thinking, and making his stutter worse. 

“I know I’ve not been easy to train,” he told me, “but I’m starting to come out of it now.” After that night, Thomas’s work improved rapidly. He risked speaking up more at the weekly lunches and at meetings, and everyone was patient when he struggled to say something, though those occasions were less frequent. 

I consider this mentoring experience one of my greatest accomplishments, because in trying to befriend a coworker, I not only gained a true friend for myself but also helped him gain confidence and perform to his capacity at work. It was the first time in my life I felt I had such a strong and positive impact on another person. It showed me the power of small gestures of friendship and understanding. 

This writer’s decision to offer a listening ear to a coworker who was clearly in some sort of distress became an inspiring achievement that was both personal and professional. His actions had impact that flowed outward beyond just Thomas to the entire department and organization. 

Protein= Overcoming Obstacles

Overcoming obstacles such as a lack of resources – time, money, talent, or people – magnifies your accomplishments. Our best-laid plans rarely go smoothly, so make sure you discuss any difficulties you faced. By the way, the obstacle can work “double-duty,” representing a failure that you experienced and chose to learn from, while also showing that you emerged wiser and more capable at the end. When discussing either obstacles or failures, make sure not to blame other people or circumstances, or to complain about the unfairness of it all. Pointing fingers makes you look small and as though you want to avoid accountability. State the facts simply, and the situation will speak for itself. 

Here’s an example of how one applicant dealt with a significant obstacle: 

My book launch had been planned for nearly one year. This was my first book, a biography about my great-grandmother, a trailblazing homeopathic physician who lived at a time when even regular women MDs were a rarity. I wanted to self-publish but knew there was a huge amount of work involved that I didn’t feel suited for. There was editing, design, layout, marketing, getting the book accepted into the book distribution system, logistics, and more. Most published books are quickly forgotten and sell few copies. I didn’t want that to happen to mine. 

My solution was to sign an agreement with my friend Haley to publish my book. She was a talented graphic artist who had set up her own publishing company to publish her husband’s book. Our agreement spelled out our individual financial obligations and responsibilities, but I had a nagging worry. Her marriage was tumultuous, and she could make impulsive decisions. 

Six weeks before the publishing date, a popular book blogger promised a 5-star review on her blog. I also sold an excerpt to a women’s magazine with more than 4 million readers. I was still doing my “happy dance” when Haley called to tell me that our deal was off. She was leaving her husband and driving to stay with her mother, who lived in another state. She said she’d be in touch to work something out. She didn’t say when.

I was furious and anguished. My biggest problem was that the book’s ISBN (identification) numbers for print and digital downloads were assigned to Haley’s company and could not be reassigned to anyone else. Haley also had the distribution and payment agreements in her name. I could have kicked myself for not listening to my intuition, which warned me against working with someone whose life was so upside-down.

I researched my options. The ISBNs could not be transferred to me, but if I bought her publishing company, I would also own her ISBNs. I had no idea if Haley would agree to this or how we would work out terms, but the only way to save my book was to do the very thing I had tried to avoid: become a publisher myself. 

The following week, Haley agreed to sell me her publishing company for a token amount. It had no assets, and I had already paid for all book-related costs, except for Haley’s time. She also promised to help me with the transition of all the accounts. I decided not to look too far ahead and just focus on giving my book the best send-off into the world that I could. I named the publishing company after my great-grandmother. 

This story about a close call with a publishing disaster revealed the writer’s achievement of stretching beyond what she thought she could do and moving forward because she had to. Making lemonade out of lemons this way was certainly an achievement worth sharing.  

Let’s review where we are so far with our “macros”       

Protein = Overcoming Obstacles 

Now, let’s incorporate our “fats.”       

Leadership accomplishments that work well in application essays usually involve one’s ability to influence, motivate, persuade, direct, and work effectively with others. This adds much needed energy to your essay.                

Think about how you have worked with other people – how you led a team, what you learned, and so on. What specifically did you do to demonstrate leadership skills? What did you learn about leadership , and how have you grown as a leader through the experience?

In this next example, the writer’s accomplishment through leadership seemed almost accidental:

My job teaching in a private school began uneventfully. I had a class of bright 4th graders, with only a handful expected to be “challenging.” I loved my supervisor, Monica, who was a gifted teacher but new to her role as a team lead overseeing the 3rd and 4th grades. In addition to having one class of her own, Monica was supposed to create interventions for struggling students, incentivize specific behavior or achievements, plan events and trips, and offer guidance to teachers. 

Monica quickly showed that her skill set was strong in the classroom but not in administration. She let requests from teachers for interventions or advice pile up, and she got testy when I reminded her that I was waiting for her feedback. I wanted to work with her and not against her, so I offered to help. I suggested we meet twice a week after school to review her in-box, which was when I discovered that just by having me sit and listen to her discuss the situations, she focused much better. Although I only had two years’ experience as a teacher, Monica still seemed to value my opinion on handling awkward situations, such as when a wealthy parent who was on the school’s board of directors refused to face the reality of her daughter’s chronically aggressive behavior in class. This case was bigger than the both of us. We agreed that Monica needed to bring it to the headmistress of the school for her intervention.

About halfway through the year, Monica and I were still meeting regularly. It was an unexpected partnership, and it was clear to both of us that she wanted to return to full-time teaching. I realized that the administrative tasks and decision-making came more naturally to me than to her, and that after a few more years of teaching experience and a master’s degree in education, I might enjoy having a job like hers. 

Another person in her situation might have simply become angry or resentful at my trying to play a role in her job. She could have shut me out completely. But Monica and I became friends, and I learned a lot from watching her dynamism in the classroom. Additionally, she courageously told the headmistress about our arrangement and asked if the school could pay me for my extra hours – which it did. 

This was a totally unexpected situation that helped me realize that I wanted to take a fork in the road of my career in education. 

Finding the experiences in your life where you have shown initiative and impact, overcome obstacles, and demonstrated leadership will help you write an essay deserving of a chef’s kiss!

Are you thinking about what you could include in a winning accomplishments essay? Team up with Accepted’s consultants for help identifying your best material. As your partner and guide in this process, we will ensure that your selections make you stand out for all the right reasons!

Judy Gruen

By Judy Gruen, former Accepted admissions consultant. Judy holds a master’s in journalism from Northwestern University. She is also the co-author of Accepted’s first full-length book, MBA Admission for Smarties: The No-Nonsense Guide to Acceptance at Top Business Schools . Want an admissions expert help you get accepted? Click here to get in touch!

Related Resources:

  • From Example to Exemplary , your guide to writing outstanding essays
  •   Four Ways to Show How You’ll Contribute in the Future
  • Four Tips for Highlighting Your Strengths in Your Application Essays

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Home / Essay Samples / Life / Personal Goals / The Best Thing I Ever Accomplished: My Greatest Achievement In Life

The Best Thing I Ever Accomplished: My Greatest Achievement In Life

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