essay revising help

Revising Drafts

Rewriting is the essence of writing well—where the game is won or lost. —William Zinsser

What this handout is about

This handout will motivate you to revise your drafts and give you strategies to revise effectively.

What does it mean to revise?

Revision literally means to “see again,” to look at something from a fresh, critical perspective. It is an ongoing process of rethinking the paper: reconsidering your arguments, reviewing your evidence, refining your purpose, reorganizing your presentation, reviving stale prose.

But I thought revision was just fixing the commas and spelling

Nope. That’s called proofreading. It’s an important step before turning your paper in, but if your ideas are predictable, your thesis is weak, and your organization is a mess, then proofreading will just be putting a band-aid on a bullet wound. When you finish revising, that’s the time to proofread. For more information on the subject, see our handout on proofreading .

How about if I just reword things: look for better words, avoid repetition, etc.? Is that revision?

Well, that’s a part of revision called editing. It’s another important final step in polishing your work. But if you haven’t thought through your ideas, then rephrasing them won’t make any difference.

Why is revision important?

Writing is a process of discovery, and you don’t always produce your best stuff when you first get started. So revision is a chance for you to look critically at what you have written to see:

• if it’s really worth saying,
• if it says what you wanted to say, and
• if a reader will understand what you’re saying.

The process

What steps should i use when i begin to revise.

Here are several things to do. But don’t try them all at one time. Instead, focus on two or three main areas during each revision session:

• Wait awhile after you’ve finished a draft before looking at it again. The Roman poet Horace thought one should wait nine years, but that’s a bit much. A day—a few hours even—will work. When you do return to the draft, be honest with yourself, and don’t be lazy. Ask yourself what you really think about the paper.
• As The Scott, Foresman Handbook for Writers puts it, “THINK BIG, don’t tinker” (61). At this stage, you should be concerned with the large issues in the paper, not the commas.
• Check the focus of the paper: Is it appropriate to the assignment? Is the topic too big or too narrow? Do you stay on track through the entire paper?
• Think honestly about your thesis: Do you still agree with it? Should it be modified in light of something you discovered as you wrote the paper? Does it make a sophisticated, provocative point, or does it just say what anyone could say if given the same topic? Does your thesis generalize instead of taking a specific position? Should it be changed altogether? For more information visit our handout on thesis statements .
• Think about your purpose in writing: Does your introduction state clearly what you intend to do? Will your aims be clear to your readers?

What are some other steps I should consider in later stages of the revision process?

• Examine the balance within your paper: Are some parts out of proportion with others? Do you spend too much time on one trivial point and neglect a more important point? Do you give lots of detail early on and then let your points get thinner by the end?
• Check that you have kept your promises to your readers: Does your paper follow through on what the thesis promises? Do you support all the claims in your thesis? Are the tone and formality of the language appropriate for your audience?
• Check the organization: Does your paper follow a pattern that makes sense? Do the transitions move your readers smoothly from one point to the next? Do the topic sentences of each paragraph appropriately introduce what that paragraph is about? Would your paper work better if you moved some things around? For more information visit our handout on reorganizing drafts.
• Check your information: Are all your facts accurate? Are any of your statements misleading? Have you provided enough detail to satisfy readers’ curiosity? Have you cited all your information appropriately?
• Check your conclusion: Does the last paragraph tie the paper together smoothly and end on a stimulating note, or does the paper just die a slow, redundant, lame, or abrupt death?

Whoa! I thought I could just revise in a few minutes

Sorry. You may want to start working on your next paper early so that you have plenty of time for revising. That way you can give yourself some time to come back to look at what you’ve written with a fresh pair of eyes. It’s amazing how something that sounded brilliant the moment you wrote it can prove to be less-than-brilliant when you give it a chance to incubate.

But I don’t want to rewrite my whole paper!

Revision doesn’t necessarily mean rewriting the whole paper. Sometimes it means revising the thesis to match what you’ve discovered while writing. Sometimes it means coming up with stronger arguments to defend your position, or coming up with more vivid examples to illustrate your points. Sometimes it means shifting the order of your paper to help the reader follow your argument, or to change the emphasis of your points. Sometimes it means adding or deleting material for balance or emphasis. And then, sadly, sometimes revision does mean trashing your first draft and starting from scratch. Better that than having the teacher trash your final paper.

But I work so hard on what I write that I can’t afford to throw any of it away

If you want to be a polished writer, then you will eventually find out that you can’t afford NOT to throw stuff away. As writers, we often produce lots of material that needs to be tossed. The idea or metaphor or paragraph that I think is most wonderful and brilliant is often the very thing that confuses my reader or ruins the tone of my piece or interrupts the flow of my argument.Writers must be willing to sacrifice their favorite bits of writing for the good of the piece as a whole. In order to trim things down, though, you first have to have plenty of material on the page. One trick is not to hinder yourself while you are composing the first draft because the more you produce, the more you will have to work with when cutting time comes.

But sometimes I revise as I go

That’s OK. Since writing is a circular process, you don’t do everything in some specific order. Sometimes you write something and then tinker with it before moving on. But be warned: there are two potential problems with revising as you go. One is that if you revise only as you go along, you never get to think of the big picture. The key is still to give yourself enough time to look at the essay as a whole once you’ve finished. Another danger to revising as you go is that you may short-circuit your creativity. If you spend too much time tinkering with what is on the page, you may lose some of what hasn’t yet made it to the page. Here’s a tip: Don’t proofread as you go. You may waste time correcting the commas in a sentence that may end up being cut anyway.

How do I go about the process of revising? Any tips?

• Work from a printed copy; it’s easier on the eyes. Also, problems that seem invisible on the screen somehow tend to show up better on paper.
• Another tip is to read the paper out loud. That’s one way to see how well things flow.
• Remember all those questions listed above? Don’t try to tackle all of them in one draft. Pick a few “agendas” for each draft so that you won’t go mad trying to see, all at once, if you’ve done everything.
• Ask lots of questions and don’t flinch from answering them truthfully. For example, ask if there are opposing viewpoints that you haven’t considered yet.

Whenever I revise, I just make things worse. I do my best work without revising

That’s a common misconception that sometimes arises from fear, sometimes from laziness. The truth is, though, that except for those rare moments of inspiration or genius when the perfect ideas expressed in the perfect words in the perfect order flow gracefully and effortlessly from the mind, all experienced writers revise their work. I wrote six drafts of this handout. Hemingway rewrote the last page of A Farewell to Arms thirty-nine times. If you’re still not convinced, re-read some of your old papers. How do they sound now? What would you revise if you had a chance?

What can get in the way of good revision strategies?

Don’t fall in love with what you have written. If you do, you will be hesitant to change it even if you know it’s not great. Start out with a working thesis, and don’t act like you’re married to it. Instead, act like you’re dating it, seeing if you’re compatible, finding out what it’s like from day to day. If a better thesis comes along, let go of the old one. Also, don’t think of revision as just rewording. It is a chance to look at the entire paper, not just isolated words and sentences.

What happens if I find that I no longer agree with my own point?

If you take revision seriously, sometimes the process will lead you to questions you cannot answer, objections or exceptions to your thesis, cases that don’t fit, loose ends or contradictions that just won’t go away. If this happens (and it will if you think long enough), then you have several choices. You could choose to ignore the loose ends and hope your reader doesn’t notice them, but that’s risky. You could change your thesis completely to fit your new understanding of the issue, or you could adjust your thesis slightly to accommodate the new ideas. Or you could simply acknowledge the contradictions and show why your main point still holds up in spite of them. Most readers know there are no easy answers, so they may be annoyed if you give them a thesis and try to claim that it is always true with no exceptions no matter what.

How do I get really good at revising?

The same way you get really good at golf, piano, or a video game—do it often. Take revision seriously, be disciplined, and set high standards for yourself. Here are three more tips:

• The more you produce, the more you can cut.
• The more you can imagine yourself as a reader looking at this for the first time, the easier it will be to spot potential problems.
• The more you demand of yourself in terms of clarity and elegance, the more clear and elegant your writing will be.

How do I revise at the sentence level?

Read your paper out loud, sentence by sentence, and follow Peter Elbow’s advice: “Look for places where you stumble or get lost in the middle of a sentence. These are obvious awkwardness’s that need fixing. Look for places where you get distracted or even bored—where you cannot concentrate. These are places where you probably lost focus or concentration in your writing. Cut through the extra words or vagueness or digression; get back to the energy. Listen even for the tiniest jerk or stumble in your reading, the tiniest lessening of your energy or focus or concentration as you say the words . . . A sentence should be alive” (Writing with Power 135).

Practical advice for ensuring that your sentences are alive:

• Use forceful verbs—replace long verb phrases with a more specific verb. For example, replace “She argues for the importance of the idea” with “She defends the idea.”
• Look for places where you’ve used the same word or phrase twice or more in consecutive sentences and look for alternative ways to say the same thing OR for ways to combine the two sentences.
• Cut as many prepositional phrases as you can without losing your meaning. For instance, the following sentence, “There are several examples of the issue of integrity in Huck Finn,” would be much better this way, “Huck Finn repeatedly addresses the issue of integrity.”
• Check your sentence variety. If more than two sentences in a row start the same way (with a subject followed by a verb, for example), then try using a different sentence pattern.
• Aim for precision in word choice. Don’t settle for the best word you can think of at the moment—use a thesaurus (along with a dictionary) to search for the word that says exactly what you want to say.
• Look for sentences that start with “It is” or “There are” and see if you can revise them to be more active and engaging.
• For more information, please visit our handouts on word choice and style .

How can technology help?

Need some help revising? Take advantage of the revision and versioning features available in modern word processors.

Track your changes. Most word processors and writing tools include a feature that allows you to keep your changes visible until you’re ready to accept them. Using “Track Changes” mode in Word or “Suggesting” mode in Google Docs, for example, allows you to make changes without committing to them.

Compare drafts. Tools that allow you to compare multiple drafts give you the chance to visually track changes over time. Try “File History” or “Compare Documents” modes in Google Doc, Word, and Scrivener to retrieve old drafts, identify changes you’ve made over time, or help you keep a bigger picture in mind as you revise.

Works consulted

We consulted these works while writing this handout. This is not a comprehensive list of resources on the handout’s topic, and we encourage you to do your own research to find additional publications. Please do not use this list as a model for the format of your own reference list, as it may not match the citation style you are using. For guidance on formatting citations, please see the UNC Libraries citation tutorial . We revise these tips periodically and welcome feedback.

Anson, Chris M., and Robert A. Schwegler. 2010. The Longman Handbook for Writers and Readers , 6th ed. New York: Longman.

Elbow, Peter. 1998. Writing With Power: Techniques for Mastering the Writing Process . New York: Oxford University Press.

Lanham, Richard A. 2006. Revising Prose , 5th ed. New York: Pearson Longman.

Lunsford, Andrea A. 2015. The St. Martin’s Handbook , 8th ed. Boston: Bedford/St Martin’s.

Ruszkiewicz, John J., Christy Friend, Daniel Seward, and Maxine Hairston. 2010. The Scott, Foresman Handbook for Writers , 9th ed. Boston: Pearson Education.

Zinsser, William. 2001. On Writing Well: The Classic Guide to Writing Nonfiction , 6th ed. New York: Quill.

You may reproduce it for non-commercial use if you use the entire handout and attribute the source: The Writing Center, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill

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8.4 Revising and Editing

Learning objectives.

• Identify major areas of concern in the draft essay during revising and editing.
• Use peer reviews and editing checklists to assist revising and editing.
• Revise and edit the first draft of your essay and produce a final draft.

Revising and editing are the two tasks you undertake to significantly improve your essay. Both are very important elements of the writing process. You may think that a completed first draft means little improvement is needed. However, even experienced writers need to improve their drafts and rely on peers during revising and editing. You may know that athletes miss catches, fumble balls, or overshoot goals. Dancers forget steps, turn too slowly, or miss beats. For both athletes and dancers, the more they practice, the stronger their performance will become. Web designers seek better images, a more clever design, or a more appealing background for their web pages. Writing has the same capacity to profit from improvement and revision.

Understanding the Purpose of Revising and Editing

Revising and editing allow you to examine two important aspects of your writing separately, so that you can give each task your undivided attention.

• When you revise , you take a second look at your ideas. You might add, cut, move, or change information in order to make your ideas clearer, more accurate, more interesting, or more convincing.
• When you edit , you take a second look at how you expressed your ideas. You add or change words. You fix any problems in grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure. You improve your writing style. You make your essay into a polished, mature piece of writing, the end product of your best efforts.

How do you get the best out of your revisions and editing? Here are some strategies that writers have developed to look at their first drafts from a fresh perspective. Try them over the course of this semester; then keep using the ones that bring results.

• Take a break. You are proud of what you wrote, but you might be too close to it to make changes. Set aside your writing for a few hours or even a day until you can look at it objectively.
• Ask someone you trust for feedback and constructive criticism.
• Pretend you are one of your readers. Are you satisfied or dissatisfied? Why?
• Use the resources that your college provides. Find out where your school’s writing lab is located and ask about the assistance they provide online and in person.

Many people hear the words critic , critical , and criticism and pick up only negative vibes that provoke feelings that make them blush, grumble, or shout. However, as a writer and a thinker, you need to learn to be critical of yourself in a positive way and have high expectations for your work. You also need to train your eye and trust your ability to fix what needs fixing. For this, you need to teach yourself where to look.

Creating Unity and Coherence

Following your outline closely offers you a reasonable guarantee that your writing will stay on purpose and not drift away from the controlling idea. However, when writers are rushed, are tired, or cannot find the right words, their writing may become less than they want it to be. Their writing may no longer be clear and concise, and they may be adding information that is not needed to develop the main idea.

When a piece of writing has unity , all the ideas in each paragraph and in the entire essay clearly belong and are arranged in an order that makes logical sense. When the writing has coherence , the ideas flow smoothly. The wording clearly indicates how one idea leads to another within a paragraph and from paragraph to paragraph.

Reading your writing aloud will often help you find problems with unity and coherence. Listen for the clarity and flow of your ideas. Identify places where you find yourself confused, and write a note to yourself about possible fixes.

Creating Unity

Sometimes writers get caught up in the moment and cannot resist a good digression. Even though you might enjoy such detours when you chat with friends, unplanned digressions usually harm a piece of writing.

Mariah stayed close to her outline when she drafted the three body paragraphs of her essay she tentatively titled “Digital Technology: The Newest and the Best at What Price?” But a recent shopping trip for an HDTV upset her enough that she digressed from the main topic of her third paragraph and included comments about the sales staff at the electronics store she visited. When she revised her essay, she deleted the off-topic sentences that affected the unity of the paragraph.

Read the following paragraph twice, the first time without Mariah’s changes, and the second time with them.

Nothing is more confusing to me than choosing among televisions. It confuses lots of people who want a new high-definition digital television (HDTV) with a large screen to watch sports and DVDs on. You could listen to the guys in the electronics store, but word has it they know little more than you do. They want to sell what they have in stock, not what best fits your needs. You face decisions you never had to make with the old, bulky picture-tube televisions. Screen resolution means the number of horizontal scan lines the screen can show. This resolution is often 1080p, or full HD, or 768p. The trouble is that if you have a smaller screen, 32 inches or 37 inches diagonal, you won’t be able to tell the difference with the naked eye. The 1080p televisions cost more, though, so those are what the salespeople want you to buy. They get bigger commissions. The other important decision you face as you walk around the sales floor is whether to get a plasma screen or an LCD screen. Now here the salespeople may finally give you decent info. Plasma flat-panel television screens can be much larger in diameter than their LCD rivals. Plasma screens show truer blacks and can be viewed at a wider angle than current LCD screens. But be careful and tell the salesperson you have budget constraints. Large flat-panel plasma screens are much more expensive than flat-screen LCD models. Don’t let someone make you by more television than you need!

Answer the following two questions about Mariah’s paragraph:

Collaboration

Please share with a classmate and compare your answers.

• Now start to revise the first draft of the essay you wrote in Section 8 “Writing Your Own First Draft” . Reread it to find any statements that affect the unity of your writing. Decide how best to revise.

When you reread your writing to find revisions to make, look for each type of problem in a separate sweep. Read it straight through once to locate any problems with unity. Read it straight through a second time to find problems with coherence. You may follow this same practice during many stages of the writing process.

Writing at Work

Many companies hire copyeditors and proofreaders to help them produce the cleanest possible final drafts of large writing projects. Copyeditors are responsible for suggesting revisions and style changes; proofreaders check documents for any errors in capitalization, spelling, and punctuation that have crept in. Many times, these tasks are done on a freelance basis, with one freelancer working for a variety of clients.

Creating Coherence

Careful writers use transitions to clarify how the ideas in their sentences and paragraphs are related. These words and phrases help the writing flow smoothly. Adding transitions is not the only way to improve coherence, but they are often useful and give a mature feel to your essays. Table 8.3 “Common Transitional Words and Phrases” groups many common transitions according to their purpose.

Table 8.3 Common Transitional Words and Phrases

After Maria revised for unity, she next examined her paragraph about televisions to check for coherence. She looked for places where she needed to add a transition or perhaps reword the text to make the flow of ideas clear. In the version that follows, she has already deleted the sentences that were off topic.

Many writers make their revisions on a printed copy and then transfer them to the version on-screen. They conventionally use a small arrow called a caret (^) to show where to insert an addition or correction.

1. Answer the following questions about Mariah’s revised paragraph.

2. Now return to the first draft of the essay you wrote in Section 8 “Writing Your Own First Draft” and revise it for coherence. Add transition words and phrases where they are needed, and make any other changes that are needed to improve the flow and connection between ideas.

Being Clear and Concise

Some writers are very methodical and painstaking when they write a first draft. Other writers unleash a lot of words in order to get out all that they feel they need to say. Do either of these composing styles match your style? Or is your composing style somewhere in between? No matter which description best fits you, the first draft of almost every piece of writing, no matter its author, can be made clearer and more concise.

If you have a tendency to write too much, you will need to look for unnecessary words. If you have a tendency to be vague or imprecise in your wording, you will need to find specific words to replace any overly general language.

Identifying Wordiness

Sometimes writers use too many words when fewer words will appeal more to their audience and better fit their purpose. Here are some common examples of wordiness to look for in your draft. Eliminating wordiness helps all readers, because it makes your ideas clear, direct, and straightforward.

Sentences that begin with There is or There are .

Wordy: There are two major experiments that the Biology Department sponsors.

Revised: The Biology Department sponsors two major experiments.

Sentences with unnecessary modifiers.

Wordy: Two extremely famous and well-known consumer advocates spoke eloquently in favor of the proposed important legislation.

Revised: Two well-known consumer advocates spoke in favor of the proposed legislation.

Sentences with deadwood phrases that add little to the meaning. Be judicious when you use phrases such as in terms of , with a mind to , on the subject of , as to whether or not , more or less , as far as…is concerned , and similar expressions. You can usually find a more straightforward way to state your point.

Wordy: As a world leader in the field of green technology, the company plans to focus its efforts in the area of geothermal energy.

A report as to whether or not to use geysers as an energy source is in the process of preparation.

Revised: As a world leader in green technology, the company plans to focus on geothermal energy.

A report about using geysers as an energy source is in preparation.

Sentences in the passive voice or with forms of the verb to be . Sentences with passive-voice verbs often create confusion, because the subject of the sentence does not perform an action. Sentences are clearer when the subject of the sentence performs the action and is followed by a strong verb. Use strong active-voice verbs in place of forms of to be , which can lead to wordiness. Avoid passive voice when you can.

Wordy: It might perhaps be said that using a GPS device is something that is a benefit to drivers who have a poor sense of direction.

Revised: Using a GPS device benefits drivers who have a poor sense of direction.

Sentences with constructions that can be shortened.

Wordy: The e-book reader, which is a recent invention, may become as commonplace as the cell phone.

My over-sixty uncle bought an e-book reader, and his wife bought an e-book reader, too.

Revised: The e-book reader, a recent invention, may become as commonplace as the cell phone.

My over-sixty uncle and his wife both bought e-book readers.

Now return once more to the first draft of the essay you have been revising. Check it for unnecessary words. Try making your sentences as concise as they can be.

Choosing Specific, Appropriate Words

Most college essays should be written in formal English suitable for an academic situation. Follow these principles to be sure that your word choice is appropriate. For more information about word choice, see Chapter 4 “Working with Words: Which Word Is Right?” .

• Avoid slang. Find alternatives to bummer , kewl , and rad .
• Avoid language that is overly casual. Write about “men and women” rather than “girls and guys” unless you are trying to create a specific effect. A formal tone calls for formal language.
• Avoid contractions. Use do not in place of don’t , I am in place of I’m , have not in place of haven’t , and so on. Contractions are considered casual speech.
• Avoid clichés. Overused expressions such as green with envy , face the music , better late than never , and similar expressions are empty of meaning and may not appeal to your audience.
• Be careful when you use words that sound alike but have different meanings. Some examples are allusion/illusion , complement/compliment , council/counsel , concurrent/consecutive , founder/flounder , and historic/historical . When in doubt, check a dictionary.
• Choose words with the connotations you want. Choosing a word for its connotations is as important in formal essay writing as it is in all kinds of writing. Compare the positive connotations of the word proud and the negative connotations of arrogant and conceited .
• Use specific words rather than overly general words. Find synonyms for thing , people , nice , good , bad , interesting , and other vague words. Or use specific details to make your exact meaning clear.

Now read the revisions Mariah made to make her third paragraph clearer and more concise. She has already incorporated the changes she made to improve unity and coherence.

1. Answer the following questions about Mariah’s revised paragraph:

2. Now return once more to your essay in progress. Read carefully for problems with word choice. Be sure that your draft is written in formal language and that your word choice is specific and appropriate.

Completing a Peer Review

After working so closely with a piece of writing, writers often need to step back and ask for a more objective reader. What writers most need is feedback from readers who can respond only to the words on the page. When they are ready, writers show their drafts to someone they respect and who can give an honest response about its strengths and weaknesses.

You, too, can ask a peer to read your draft when it is ready. After evaluating the feedback and assessing what is most helpful, the reader’s feedback will help you when you revise your draft. This process is called peer review .

You can work with a partner in your class and identify specific ways to strengthen each other’s essays. Although you may be uncomfortable sharing your writing at first, remember that each writer is working toward the same goal: a final draft that fits the audience and the purpose. Maintaining a positive attitude when providing feedback will put you and your partner at ease. The box that follows provides a useful framework for the peer review session.

Questions for Peer Review

Title of essay: ____________________________________________

Date: ____________________________________________

Writer’s name: ____________________________________________

Peer reviewer’s name: _________________________________________

• This essay is about____________________________________________.
• Your main points in this essay are____________________________________________.
• What I most liked about this essay is____________________________________________.

These three points struck me as your strongest:

These places in your essay are not clear to me:

a. Where: ____________________________________________

Needs improvement because__________________________________________

b. Where: ____________________________________________

Needs improvement because ____________________________________________

c. Where: ____________________________________________

The one additional change you could make that would improve this essay significantly is ____________________________________________.

One of the reasons why word-processing programs build in a reviewing feature is that workgroups have become a common feature in many businesses. Writing is often collaborative, and the members of a workgroup and their supervisors often critique group members’ work and offer feedback that will lead to a better final product.

Exchange essays with a classmate and complete a peer review of each other’s draft in progress. Remember to give positive feedback and to be courteous and polite in your responses. Focus on providing one positive comment and one question for more information to the author.

Using Feedback Objectively

The purpose of peer feedback is to receive constructive criticism of your essay. Your peer reviewer is your first real audience, and you have the opportunity to learn what confuses and delights a reader so that you can improve your work before sharing the final draft with a wider audience (or your intended audience).

It may not be necessary to incorporate every recommendation your peer reviewer makes. However, if you start to observe a pattern in the responses you receive from peer reviewers, you might want to take that feedback into consideration in future assignments. For example, if you read consistent comments about a need for more research, then you may want to consider including more research in future assignments.

Using Feedback from Multiple Sources

You might get feedback from more than one reader as you share different stages of your revised draft. In this situation, you may receive feedback from readers who do not understand the assignment or who lack your involvement with and enthusiasm for it.

You need to evaluate the responses you receive according to two important criteria:

• Determine if the feedback supports the purpose of the assignment.
• Determine if the suggested revisions are appropriate to the audience.

Then, using these standards, accept or reject revision feedback.

Work with two partners. Go back to Note 8.81 “Exercise 4” in this lesson and compare your responses to Activity A, about Mariah’s paragraph, with your partners’. Recall Mariah’s purpose for writing and her audience. Then, working individually, list where you agree and where you disagree about revision needs.

Editing Your Draft

If you have been incorporating each set of revisions as Mariah has, you have produced multiple drafts of your writing. So far, all your changes have been content changes. Perhaps with the help of peer feedback, you have made sure that you sufficiently supported your ideas. You have checked for problems with unity and coherence. You have examined your essay for word choice, revising to cut unnecessary words and to replace weak wording with specific and appropriate wording.

The next step after revising the content is editing. When you edit, you examine the surface features of your text. You examine your spelling, grammar, usage, and punctuation. You also make sure you use the proper format when creating your finished assignment.

Editing often takes time. Budgeting time into the writing process allows you to complete additional edits after revising. Editing and proofreading your writing helps you create a finished work that represents your best efforts. Here are a few more tips to remember about your readers:

• Readers do not notice correct spelling, but they do notice misspellings.
• Readers look past your sentences to get to your ideas—unless the sentences are awkward, poorly constructed, and frustrating to read.
• Readers notice when every sentence has the same rhythm as every other sentence, with no variety.
• Readers do not cheer when you use there , their , and they’re correctly, but they notice when you do not.
• Readers will notice the care with which you handled your assignment and your attention to detail in the delivery of an error-free document..

The first section of this book offers a useful review of grammar, mechanics, and usage. Use it to help you eliminate major errors in your writing and refine your understanding of the conventions of language. Do not hesitate to ask for help, too, from peer tutors in your academic department or in the college’s writing lab. In the meantime, use the checklist to help you edit your writing.

Editing Your Writing

• Are some sentences actually sentence fragments?
• Are some sentences run-on sentences? How can I correct them?
• Do some sentences need conjunctions between independent clauses?
• Does every verb agree with its subject?
• Is every verb in the correct tense?
• Are tense forms, especially for irregular verbs, written correctly?
• Have I used subject, object, and possessive personal pronouns correctly?
• Have I used who and whom correctly?
• Is the antecedent of every pronoun clear?
• Do all personal pronouns agree with their antecedents?
• Have I used the correct comparative and superlative forms of adjectives and adverbs?
• Is it clear which word a participial phrase modifies, or is it a dangling modifier?

Sentence Structure

• Are all my sentences simple sentences, or do I vary my sentence structure?
• Have I chosen the best coordinating or subordinating conjunctions to join clauses?
• Have I created long, overpacked sentences that should be shortened for clarity?
• Do I see any mistakes in parallel structure?

Punctuation

• Does every sentence end with the correct end punctuation?
• Can I justify the use of every exclamation point?
• Have I used apostrophes correctly to write all singular and plural possessive forms?
• Have I used quotation marks correctly?

Mechanics and Usage

• Can I find any spelling errors? How can I correct them?
• Have I used capital letters where they are needed?
• Have I written abbreviations, where allowed, correctly?
• Can I find any errors in the use of commonly confused words, such as to / too / two ?

Be careful about relying too much on spelling checkers and grammar checkers. A spelling checker cannot recognize that you meant to write principle but wrote principal instead. A grammar checker often queries constructions that are perfectly correct. The program does not understand your meaning; it makes its check against a general set of formulas that might not apply in each instance. If you use a grammar checker, accept the suggestions that make sense, but consider why the suggestions came up.

Proofreading requires patience; it is very easy to read past a mistake. Set your paper aside for at least a few hours, if not a day or more, so your mind will rest. Some professional proofreaders read a text backward so they can concentrate on spelling and punctuation. Another helpful technique is to slowly read a paper aloud, paying attention to every word, letter, and punctuation mark.

If you need additional proofreading help, ask a reliable friend, a classmate, or a peer tutor to make a final pass on your paper to look for anything you missed.

Remember to use proper format when creating your finished assignment. Sometimes an instructor, a department, or a college will require students to follow specific instructions on titles, margins, page numbers, or the location of the writer’s name. These requirements may be more detailed and rigid for research projects and term papers, which often observe the American Psychological Association (APA) or Modern Language Association (MLA) style guides, especially when citations of sources are included.

To ensure the format is correct and follows any specific instructions, make a final check before you submit an assignment.

With the help of the checklist, edit and proofread your essay.

Key Takeaways

• Revising and editing are the stages of the writing process in which you improve your work before producing a final draft.
• During revising, you add, cut, move, or change information in order to improve content.
• During editing, you take a second look at the words and sentences you used to express your ideas and fix any problems in grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure.
• Unity in writing means that all the ideas in each paragraph and in the entire essay clearly belong together and are arranged in an order that makes logical sense.
• Coherence in writing means that the writer’s wording clearly indicates how one idea leads to another within a paragraph and between paragraphs.
• Transitional words and phrases effectively make writing more coherent.
• Writing should be clear and concise, with no unnecessary words.
• Effective formal writing uses specific, appropriate words and avoids slang, contractions, clichés, and overly general words.
• Peer reviews, done properly, can give writers objective feedback about their writing. It is the writer’s responsibility to evaluate the results of peer reviews and incorporate only useful feedback.
• Remember to budget time for careful editing and proofreading. Use all available resources, including editing checklists, peer editing, and your institution’s writing lab, to improve your editing skills.

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The Ultimate Guide to Rewriting and Revising Essays for College Students

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During your college years, you'll pen countless essays on a myriad of topics. These essays, whether they contribute to your final grades or pave the way for more extensive research, are a testament to your understanding, analytical skills, and argumentative prowess.

Yet, the journey from the first draft to the polished final piece is rarely a straight path. The beauty and clarity of your essay emerge not just in the initial burst of inspiration but in the rigorous process that follows: revising and rewriting.

Even the most seasoned writers acknowledge this truth: the first draft is just the beginning. No matter how well it's penned, every first draft can, and often should, undergo a careful revision. After all, refining your work not only elevates its quality but also hones your skills as a writer.

Understand the Difference: Rewriting vs. Revising

The journey from the start of your essay to its glorious finale often involves two essential pit stops: rewriting and revising. While these terms are sometimes used interchangeably, each has its own unique purpose in the world of essay refinement.

Rewriting: Think of rewriting as reconstructing the backbone of your essay. It’s about taking the existing content and changing its structure, tone, or even the core points. This might mean switching paragraphs around, rephrasing entire sections, or adding new insights. In simpler words, rewriting is the act of making large-scale changes to the foundation of your work.

Revising: On the other hand, revising is like polishing a diamond. Once you’ve shaped and cut the gem (your essay), revising ensures each facet shines brilliantly. It focuses on smaller, finer details: fixing grammar, refining sentence structures, checking for clarity, and ensuring a smooth flow. It’s the step that ensures your arguments are clear, concise, and compelling.

Both processes, while distinct, are equally critical. Rewriting ensures your essay’s backbone is strong and logical, while revising ensures the flesh covering that backbone is smooth, cohesive, and free of errors. Together, they guarantee that your essay stands tall, impressing readers and leaving a lasting impact.

The Rewriting Process

So, you've penned down your initial thoughts, and it's time to refine. Rewriting isn't just about fixing errors; it's about refining your message, ensuring coherence, and making sure every paragraph serves its purpose. Let's dive deep into the nitty-gritty of this transformative process.

#1. Start Fresh

Ever tried solving a puzzle for hours, only to find the solution after taking a short break? Similarly, when you’ve been deeply engrossed in your essay, you might become "blind" to its quirks and redundancies. This is why it's beneficial to distance yourself from your work for a day or two. It allows you to come back with fresh eyes, enabling you to spot areas that need improvement more effectively.

#2. Re-evaluate Your Thesis

The thesis is the heart of your essay. As you rewrite, ensure your thesis is not just present but pulsating, guiding every argument you make. Check if it's specific enough to give your essay direction, strong in its claim, and arguable to ignite interest. If your thesis feels weak or off-track, don't hesitate to reshape it. A well-defined thesis can significantly enhance the quality of your undergraduate essay writing, making services like our undergraduate essay writing service a valuable asset for students.

#3. Reorganize for Flow

You want your reader to sail smoothly through your essay, not stumble and trip. Reorganize your paragraphs, ensuring each one naturally progresses from its predecessor. Does the conclusion of one paragraph introduce the concept of the next? Are your ideas sequenced logically? Sometimes, merely swapping two paragraphs or restructuring sentences within a paragraph can make all the difference in maintaining a logical flow.

Remember, rewriting isn't about changing what you want to say; it's about ensuring you say it in the most effective, clear, and engaging way possible.

Deep Dive into Revision

Revision is an art—a meticulous process of fine-tuning your essay, word by word, sentence by sentence. It's not just about correcting grammar or spelling errors; it's about enhancing clarity, strengthening arguments, and ensuring your essay stands out. Here's how you can master this art.

#1. Seek Out Repetition

While some repetition can be used for emphasis, unnecessary repetition can make your essay feel redundant and drawn-out. Read through your essay, identifying any points or sentences that echo the same ideas. Once you spot them, decide which representation is strongest and eliminate the others. Remember, it's about quality, not quantity.

#2. Be Concise

Brevity is the soul of wit, they say, and it’s the heart of a compelling essay too. Search for lengthy phrases that can be shortened without losing their essence. For instance, instead of writing "due to the fact that," you can simply say "because." Eliminating superfluous words can make your essay sharper and more direct.

#3. Strengthen Your Arguments

Your claims should always be robust and well-backed. Scrutinize each argument you make. Is it supported by relevant evidence or examples? If not, either find the evidence to back it up or consider whether that point is strong enough to be included. A well-substantiated point is far more persuasive than a baseless claim.

#4. Evaluate Your Sources

In the age of information, not everything you read online is gold. Ensure every source you've cited adds value to your essay. Check the date of publication—is the information current? Verify the author's credentials—are they an authority on the subject? Most importantly, always prefer primary sources over secondary ones. Quality sources can elevate your essay from good to great.

Diving deep into revision requires patience and attention to detail. It's about ensuring every word, sentence, and paragraph contributes positively to your essay's overall message.

Tools to Help in the Revision Process

In the digital age, writers have more resources than ever to perfect their essays. These tools are not just about grammar checks; they're about enhancing clarity, improving style, and ensuring your essay communicates its message effectively. Here are some top tools to consider:

1. Grammarly : Arguably the most popular writing assistant out there, Grammarly goes beyond simple grammar checks. It looks at sentence structure, offers vocabulary enhancements, and even checks for tone. The premium version offers suggestions on clarity, engagement, and delivery, making it a comprehensive tool for essay revision.

2. Hemingway Editor : Named after the famous author known for his concise writing style, the Hemingway Editor is designed to make your writing clear and bold. It highlights lengthy, complex sentences and suggests simpler alternatives. It also points out passive voice, unnecessary adverbs, and other elements that might weaken your essay.

3. ProWritingAid : This is more than just a grammar checker; it’s an all-in-one style editor. ProWritingAid analyses your essay for style issues, repetitive words, and even clichés. Its detailed reports on overused words, sentence length variation, and other writing insights can help you refine your essay to perfection.

4. Readable : This tool checks the readability of your essay. It uses various metrics like the Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level and the Gunning Fog Score to ensure your content is accessible for your target audience, which in this case, is college students.

5. Editing and Proofreading Services : Sometimes, the best tool is a fresh pair of expert eyes. Consider using services like Writers Per Hour, an undergraduate essay writing service, where professional editors review and refine your essay to ensure it's of the highest quality.

Leveraging these tools can streamline your revision process, saving you time and ensuring that your essay is polished and ready for submission. Remember, while these tools are immensely helpful, they should complement, not replace, your manual revision efforts.

Before and After: Transformation Examples

Seeing is believing. To truly grasp the power of revision and rewriting, let's delve into a few "before and after" snippets. These examples showcase the transformative effects of taking the time to refine your work.

Thesis Refinement

Before : "Many people use social media nowadays."

After : "The proliferation of social media platforms has significantly influenced modern communication patterns and behavior."

Eliminating Repetition

Before : "Online classes have become popular. The popularity of online classes is due to flexibility. Flexibility makes online classes appealing."

After : "The flexibility of online classes has contributed to their rising popularity."

Strengthening Arguments

Before : "Fast food isn't good for health because it's not healthy."

After : "Fast food often contains high levels of saturated fats, sugars, and salt, which can lead to health issues such as heart disease, diabetes, and hypertension."

Being Concise

Before : "In my personal opinion, I truly believe that the study of history is absolutely essential for understanding the present day."

After : "Studying history is crucial for understanding the present."

Improved Transition

Before : "Solar energy is renewable. Wind energy is also good."

After : "Solar energy is renewable, and similarly, wind energy offers sustainable benefits."

Source Evaluation

Before : "According to a blog post I found, chocolate is great for health."

After : "A study published in the Journal of Nutrition suggests potential health benefits of dark chocolate."

These transformations, while sometimes subtle, can drastically improve the clarity, strength, and professionalism of an essay. They showcase the potential of dedicated rewriting and revision, emphasizing that the magic often lies in the details.

Feedback is Gold

Have you ever read your own writing so many times that the words start to blend together? You're not alone. This is a common phenomenon for many writers, especially when engrossed in a topic. But there's an old adage in the writing world that rings very true: "Writing is rewriting." And an integral part of this rewriting process is feedback.

Every time you read your own essay, you're coming to it with your own biases, memories of what you meant to say, and personal connections to the words. A fresh set of eyes won't have that same bias. They can often spot inconsistencies, unclear sections, or areas that need further elaboration, which you might overlook.

Your peers, especially those in the same academic setting, can be a valuable resource. They understand the assignment's context and have a good grasp of what's expected. Sharing your essay with a fellow student can offer insight into how a typical reader might interpret your work.

If you have access to a mentor, professor, or teaching assistant, use that resource! They've likely seen hundreds, if not thousands, of essays over the years. Their expertise can guide you in strengthening your arguments, refining your thesis, and improving your essay's overall flow.

It's essential to remember that feedback, even if it seems critical, is meant to help you grow as a writer. Take it in stride. Remember, every suggestion is a stepping stone to a better essay. Instead of getting disheartened, consider each piece of advice, evaluate its merits, and decide how best to integrate it into your work.

Feedback is indeed golden. It provides a pathway for improvement, offers a chance for reflection, and helps ensure that your essay isn't just good, but great.

As you embark on your academic journey, the art of rewriting and revising becomes a foundational skill in your toolkit. Remember, even the most compelling ideas can fall flat if they're not presented clearly, logically, and with precision. While your initial draft captures the essence of your thoughts, it's the meticulous process of refining that truly brings your essay to life.

Investing time in rewriting and revising isn't just about fixing errors; it's about enhancing your arguments, clarifying your points, and ensuring your essay resonates with its readers. Every essay deserves the chance to reach its full potential, and that's achieved through this iterative process.

So, the next time you pen down your thoughts, embrace the subsequent stages of rewriting and revising. They're not just final touches; they're integral to the writing journey itself. And if you're ever in doubt, remember: perfection is not achieved when there's nothing left to add, but when there's nothing left to take away.

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Academic Revising 101: The Essential Essay Revision Checklist

by Suzanne Davis | Feb 8, 2018 | Academic Writing Skills , Writing Essays and Papers

What do you do after you write the first draft of your essay?

You should feel proud because you just finished the hard work of taking ideas and information and writing the first draft.  It’s the hardest obstacle to overcome. But you still need to revise and shape it into a great final essay.  I created an essay revision checklist to guide you through the entire revising process.

Revision is key the to great writing.  Author E.B. White stated, “The best writing is rewriting.”  So, get excited about revising because you’re taking your writing and making it your best writing.

The Essay Revision Process

When you finish a first draft take a break.  Wait a few hours or if possible a day.  You will come back to your writing with a fresh pair of eyes.   Then go back to your essay and launch into revising it.

In this post, I show you a three-phase revision process that has some overlap with editing.   But, I focus on revising because it includes deeper changes to ideas and information in your essay.

The essay revision checklist here has three sections:  content, organization, and clarity.  Go through each section separately.  Move on from one section to the next when you’ve completed everything in a section.

The Essay Revision Checklist

Revising the content of an essay.

Content is the substance of your essay.  It’s the topic, main ideas and supporting reasons that connect back to your thesis statement.   If you don’t have strong content your essay is a group of fluffy words.

Checklist for Good Essay Content

• Content reveals the purpose of your essay or paper.
• There is a complex and supportable thesis statement.
• The main ideas support the thesis statement.
• There are supporting details for each of the main ideas.
• There is evidence to support the main ideas and thesis statement.

Keep revising the essay until you can check off each of these elements.

Revising the Organization of an Essay

Essays are organized into 3 basic parts: the introduction, body, and conclusion.

The introduction has a hook, overview of the topic or description of the situation, and the thesis statement. The body contains the ideas and details that support the thesis statement.  It’s the heart of your essay content.   The conclusion summarizes the thesis statement and describes the significance of it.

Checklist for Good Essay Organization

• The introduction starts with a hook.  A hook is a sentence or a few sentences that capture your reader’s interest.  Read, “7 Sensational Types of Essays Hooks”   https://www.academicwritingsuccess.com/7-sensational-types-of-essay-hooks/ and see different hooks you can use in your writing.
• The introduction has an overview of the topic that leads to the thesis statement.
• The body of the essay is organized so that the main ideas follow the sequence of things stated in your thesis .  For example, if your thesis statement lists three causes of something: Cause A, Cause B, and Cause C.  The first part of your essay examines Cause A.  The second part examines Cause B etc.
• The conclusion reviews the thesis statement and points out something significant about it. It shows some importance to your field, to people in general, to life, history, etc. Why does your thesis matter?

Revising Your Essay for Clarity

Clarity means that your ideas, sentences, and words are easy to understand.  Clarity is the window through which the reader sees your meaning.  If your essay is unclear, the content of your essay is confusing.

When you revise your essay for clarity analyze the ideas, sentences, and words in your writing.  I’ve included in this checklist the common problems I see in essays.

Checklist for Essay Clarity

• There is subject-verb agreement throughout the essay.  A singular subject has a singular verb tense. Plural subjects have plural verb tenses.  An example of a singular subject and singular verb tense is: He drinks hot coffee .  A plural subject with a plural verb tense is: They drink ice tea.
• There is good sentence flow . Fix any run-ons, incomplete sentences, short choppy sentences or just very long sentences. Make sure you have sentence variety in your essay.  Not all your sentences are short, and not all sentences are long.  Mix it up.
• There are no unclear or confusing words or phrases .   Don’t overuse academic vocabulary or the thesaurus.  Use words and phrases you understand .
• The Point of View (POV) (1 st person, 2 nd person or 3 rd person) is consistent and appropriate for the essay.   Most academic essays are written from the 3 rd person (he, she, they, it,) POV.  Usually, narrative essays and descriptive essays use the 1 st person (I, me, we, us,) POV.   Rarely is an essay written from the 2 nd person (you, your) POV.
• The pronouns agree in number and person .   For information on pronoun agreement, see Purdue OWL, “Using Pronouns Clearly.” https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/595/01/
• T he punctuation is correct .

After the Revision Process

When you’re done with the checklist, get another person to read your essay.  Ask that person for suggestions.  This could be a classmate, a peer tutor, or a private tutor (in-person or online).

Your professor might offer to help you during office hours. Professors are busy, so check to see if they offer that kind of assistance.  Writing professors usually do.  Professors of other subjects will tell you to go to a tutor.

Next, edit and proofread for grammar and spelling mistakes.   Don’t just use a spell checker/ grammar checker or Grammarly.  Read your essay aloud and listen for mistakes.  When you read aloud you read slower and see more punctuation problems.  You also notice missing words.

Another great tip is to read your paper from the last sentence all the way back to the first sentence.  This way you’re not focusing on the content and how things fit together.  You see each sentence individually.  It’s easier to find grammar mistakes when you focus on one sentence at a time.

I teach students this 3-part revision process because it highlights the key elements of an academic essay.  It helps you analyze content, organize content, and make your essay clear to the reader.   This essay revision checklist will help you change your first draft into a strong piece of academic writing.

Are you revising an academic paper? Then download your free copy of The Roadmap to Revising Academic Writing and Handing in a Great Final Paper! Each section has a list of questions that will help you revise the content, organization, and clarity of an academic paper.    Sign-up at the form above and get your free guide now!

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Steps for Revising Your Paper

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When you have plenty of time to revise, use the time to work on your paper and to take breaks from writing. If you can forget about your draft for a day or two, you may return to it with a fresh outlook. During the revising process, put your writing aside at least twice—once during the first part of the process, when you are reorganizing your work, and once during the second part, when you are polishing and paying attention to details.

Use the following questions to evaluate your drafts. You can use your responses to revise your papers by reorganizing them to make your best points stand out, by adding needed information, by eliminating irrelevant information, and by clarifying sections or sentences.

Find your main point.

What are you trying to say in the paper? In other words, try to summarize your thesis, or main point, and the evidence you are using to support that point. Try to imagine that this paper belongs to someone else. Does the paper have a clear thesis? Do you know what the paper is going to be about?

Identify your readers and your purpose.

What are you trying to do in the paper? In other words, are you trying to argue with the reading, to analyze the reading, to evaluate the reading, to apply the reading to another situation, or to accomplish another goal?

Evaluate your evidence.

Does the body of your paper support your thesis? Do you offer enough evidence to support your claim? If you are using quotations from the text as evidence, did you cite them properly?

Save only the good pieces.

Do all of the ideas relate back to the thesis? Is there anything that doesn't seem to fit? If so, you either need to change your thesis to reflect the idea or cut the idea.

Tighten and clean up your language.

Do all of the ideas in the paper make sense? Are there unclear or confusing ideas or sentences? Read your paper out loud and listen for awkward pauses and unclear ideas. Cut out extra words, vagueness, and misused words.

Visit the Purdue OWL's vidcast on cutting during the revision phase for more help with this task.

Eliminate mistakes in grammar and usage.

Do you see any problems with grammar, punctuation, or spelling? If you think something is wrong, you should make a note of it, even if you don't know how to fix it. You can always talk to a Writing Lab tutor about how to correct errors.

Switch from writer-centered to reader-centered.

Try to detach yourself from what you've written; pretend that you are reviewing someone else's work. What would you say is the most successful part of your paper? Why? How could this part be made even better? What would you say is the least successful part of your paper? Why? How could this part be improved?

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Revision Strategies

Revision Strategies  

Why is Revising Important? What is Revision? 

Now what? You’ve done your research, written your paper, but the big question now is: what do you do next? Answer: Revise. Although it can be a daunting word, revision is the time during your writing when you can carefully go back over your paper to fix any mistakes that may confuse or trip up your reader. Revision is a time to smooth out the flow of your thoughts through transitioning between your paragraphs, to make sure that each of your paragraphs are balanced with supporting evidence and your own original thought, and to look at sentence level edits like grammar and sentence flow in the final stages. While most see this as a time to make sure commas are in the right place, revision is for looking at the big picture just as much as the fine details and below are some tips and tricks to get you started!      

How do I Go About it?   

One of the first steps in the revision process is making sure you set aside enough time to properly edit your paper. If you finish a paper twenty minutes before it’s due, then there is little you can do to revise it. Although sometimes it’s hard to find time to write and revise amidst your busy schedule, I promise it’s worth it!   

Writing a paper a few days before it is due will allow you to take a step back and edit the big and small details without the pressure of a looming deadline. This will also give you time to consult writing tutors, your classmates, or your teacher if you find you need help during the process. The ratio of planned writing time to revision is usually along the lines of 70/30 or 80/20 depending on the type of writing assignment you have.   

For example, if you are assigned an 8-page research paper, then you are more than likely going to spend 70% of your timing writing and 30% of your time revising since you will have more writing that needs revising before you turn it. This is versus if you are assigned a 1-page reflection essay that requires you to spend more time writing at 80% and only about 20% of your time revising since there is only so much writing that can fit onto one page.        

Let’s face it, many of us get bored while writing. Taking a brief moment to step back after writing your first draft to do other things will allow you to return to the assignment later with fresh eyes in order to spot any errors that you may have missed before.   

The Big Picture   

When thinking about revision, our minds often jump to making sentence-level edits first. However, revision is much more than that!   

The first step in any revision process is taking a step back to look at the big picture. Does your paper have an introduction with a thesis statement? Does it have complete and coherent body paragraphs? What about a conclusion that sums up the main focus of your paper for the reader one last time? For a better understanding of how a typical essay is organized, check out “How is it Organized?” on our Reading Strategies page. 

Keep in mind that the Big Picture also includes any rubrics or assignment guidelines that your teacher may have given you. It’s important to note requirements like word/paper length during writing and revision as you don’t want to have a complete paper only to realize at the end that you missed the word count or forgot to include three scholarly sources. For more tips on how to keep rubrics and requirements in mind click here to jump to our section on assignment guidelines . Link to rubrics and assignments guidelines sections below.      

Main Intent 

Start with the main intent of your paper which is found in the ‘thesis statement.’ The thesis statement is included in the introduction paragraph and is typically found at the conclusion of the paragraph. It tells what the text will focus on and how the writer plans to achieve this. Do you state clearly and concisely what your paper will achieve and why and/or how? Do your body paragraphs support your thesis statement? Does your conclusion paragraph match your thesis statement? If you make sure that every part of your paper can be brought back to your thesis statement, then your paper will be more well-rounded and fluent.  

Note the thesis statement that is highlighted in yellow from an analysis paper on the biblical prophetess Deborah below.  

This thesis statement tells what the body paragraphs will analyze: “these texts” (analysis being the how ). It also tells why : because “they are more important in setting an example for woman of all ages by displaying how God uses a female to undertake several predominantly male roles, as He resorts to His preferred method of using the unexpected, or, in this case, a woman, to conquer a problem.”  

The following paragraphs in the paper will analyze the biblical texts that mention Deborah in order to show the reader that God uses women in male roles, an aspect that the writer found while analyzing the texts. We can assume that certain body paragraphs will inform us of the texts and others will attempt to prove the writer’s reasoning with supporting evidence from other sources.  

Paragraphs 

When reviewing your body paragraphs, you may want to consider why you are writing your paper. Are you trying to argue, persuade, or analyze? Does the structure of your paper enable you to do so? For example, a research paper is different from a persuasive paper since a persuasive paper is trying to persuade t he reader to see a topic as the writer does while a research paper focuses on objectively analyzing available sources of a topic to come to a conclusion, without regards to the writer’s personal opinion. So , the persuasive paper will have paragraphs that inform the reader of a topic, but also paragraphs that attempt to prove to the reader why their stance is the best stance on the topic.    

Topic Sentences tell the intent and focus of a paragraph. Most of the time they are original thought or observation. They can sometimes be used to attract the reader’s attention to a certain issue or point by giving a preview of what the paragraph is about which propels them to keep reading. Topic sentences are typically found at the beginning and ending of a paragraph to introduce and then sum up the points mentioned within the paragraph.  

For example, if you were to write a topic sentence for a paragraph in the aforementioned Deborah essay stating that it is hard to properly analyze the biblical texts because women prophets, especially Deborah, are sadly not as studied as male prophets, a poor intro topic sentence for paragraph might be:  

“Many people find it difficult to study the texts with Deborah in them because there is little research done on female prophets.” 

While we are able to see that this paragraph will focus on the aspect of female prophets and that it is hard to study the texts with Deborah in them because there is little research on female prophets, there is no transition from the last paragraph to connect the thoughts of the paper nor is the sentence specific about who the “many people” are.    

Whereas a more defined topic sentence with proper transitioning between paragraphs and one that introduces the full intent of the paragraph might be:   

“Although the only apparent struggles in analyzing such texts could be seen through their aforementioned slight detailed differences, a majority of scholars find textual difficulties presented in the lack of focus on female prophets in general.”   

This topic sentence, which is the first sentence of the paragraph, transitions the reader from the paragraph before it by using a good transition phrase starting with the word “Although.” “Although” is generally used to compare and contrast ideas, and ere it is used to do just that.   

By acknowledging the intent of the paragraph before it as well as previous research in general, this makes the previous information relevant to this paragraph since the content of this paragraph will be slightly contrasting since the writer is stating that this is actually the biggest issue in analysis not the other ones previously stated even though they are important too.   

The second half of the sentence also serves to tell the intent of the paragraph. Here as the reader, we know that we are going to be presented with sources that support the idea that there is a lack of focus on female prophets in general which makes it hard to study them.   

Some questions to ask might be:  

•   Do your paragraphs have a clear topic sentence? Do your topic sentences tell the main intent of that specific paragraph? Is it one clear point? If not, you may want to pick the point that best describes the content in your paragraph.    
• Do your paragraphs transition smoothly? What draws your attention during reading? Is it to the things that you want to draw attention to?  

Examples/Evidence provide a foundation atop which you can build your paper on. Teachers will typically give a minimum or maximum number of sources that you can have in your paper within the rubric or assignment guidelines. Always remember to pick sources that will best support the main intent of your paper and the assignment’s requirements. However, try to keep an open mind when you’re choosing your sources. When you’re writing a paper, you want sources that will support your argument, but, if you’re struggling to find any, try reconsidering your initial idea . It’s okay to be wrong, and it’s okay to revise and change; that’s all part of the process of learning. What you want to avoid is pulling bits and pieces from sources that don’t agree with your argument. This is called ‘cherry-picking’, and it can actually make writing a paper harder, since you have to construct writing that fits your sources, instead of finding sources that fit your writing. Some questions to ask would be:  

• Do your paragraphs have enough examples, quotes, paraphrasing, and summary from other sources to provide support for the main topic of each paragraph? Do you have more quotes than paraphrasing or vice vera?  
• Sometimes it may work better to have a quote rather than summary; however, keep in mind that well-rounded papers typically have an even amount of all in order to keep the audience’s attention and show that you know what you are talking about.    
• Do you explain why you included that examples, quotes, paraphrasing, or summary with a follow-up sentence on how it supports your argument or research? Does your inclusion of this example lead into the idea of your next sentence?  
• Sometimes having too many sources can drown out your own thought, so be sure to keep an eye out to see if your paragraphs are balanced with original thought and other sources.    

One way to check if your paragraphs are complete is by putting them to the PREP test:  

P oint: Does your paragraph have an introduction topic sentence? What is this paragraph going to be about?   

R eason: Does your paragraph give reasoning for your topic sentence? Why do you think this way, or why is your point valid?   

E xample: Does your paragraph provide an example/ evidence from supporting sources that backup your reasoning. Do you provide quotes, and/or paraphrasing, and/or summary from other sources?  

P oint: Does your paragraph have a conclusion topic sentence? Does it sum up/(re)state the focus of the paragraph without being repetitive? Does it provide a smooth transition into your next paragraph?    

Structural Edits 

Structural Edits are just what the name hints at: they involve the overall structure, or layout, of your paper. When doing structural edits, you are looking at how your paragraphs are arranged and how the sentences within them are arranged.   

Are your paragraphs arranged in a way that promotes the best flow of thoughts and transitions between them? Are your sentences arranged in a way that enables the reader to follow your thoughts while reading? Or are your paragraphs choppy and jump from idea to idea without any rhyme or reason?    

Here are a few different ways of how to go about Structural Edits:    

The Outline Method  

As you reread your paper, create an outline as you go. Do not look at your original outline but follow the flow of your written paper.   

Note where your introduction and thesis are. What does your introduction introduce and how? Note where each of your paragraphs are, what the focus of each paragraph is, what supporting and/or challenging evidence does it provide, and where their topic sentences are. Finally, note where your conclusion is. Does it sum up everything in your paper well?   

Once you finish, you should have an outline that looks somewhat like this:  

(Access a downloadable copy of the  Outline Method here.)

Now pull your original outline back out. Does your current outline and original outline match in the same places? If not, look and see how and why. Are your paragraphs in reverse order? Do you have holes in your new outline where you haven’t supported a point in one of your paragraphs? Are your topic sentences in the middle of one of your paragraphs instead of at the beginning or end? Does this work for that particular paragraph (sometimes it can depending on the length and focus of the paragraph)?   

Please note that outlines are meant to be flexible, so if your current outline doesn’t 100% match the original outline THIS IS OKAY because some changes are good! As you write and revise, you are usually able to feel and see if it makes more sense to put one paragraph in a different place or to use one source but not the other. Most of the time you know when something doesn’t look or sound right as you’re writing or editing. Just make sure that your new outline matches the main points you are trying to focus on in the original outline. Trust your instincts and, if you are not sure, consult a writing tutor, your classmates, or your teacher for advice on how to revise your paper.    

One last thing to remember is the above outline is an outline for a basic essay. If you are doing scientific research or writing a business proposal, your outline is bound to look different. However, the same basic principles still apply. Read your writing, create an outline of your writing from your reading, and consult and compare your original and current outline to see if you need to change anything.         

The PowerPoint Method  

If you are a visual leaner, one way to help you visualize your paper is by copying and pasting your paragraphs onto PowerPoint slides. Put one paragraph on a slide from beginning to end (ex: Introduction is on the first slide and Conclusion is on the last slide). Now read your paper both in your head or out loud if that helps. Does your paper flow well in the order that it is in? Try moving some of the slides around. Does it read better if Paragraph 2 is in front of Paragraph 1? While you won’t always need to rearrange your paragraphs, if you are finding that your paper is a little hard to read or choppy, using the PowerPoint method can help you see if it is the layout that is affecting your paper’s flow.   

Sentences   

Note that you could also use the same method when looking at the sentences in one of your paragraphs if it harder to read. Create a PowerPoint and try putting one sentence on each slide. Now seeing if moving some slides around in a different order helps the paragraph to be read better or be understood more easily. Do you find that you need an example to backup up one of your own statements in the paragraph? Do sentences 4 and 5 need to be rearranged to make everything clearer? Do you need to delete a sentence in order for everything to be connected better?     

The Paragraph-Cutting Method 

If you’re a hands-on learner this might be just the thing for you!  

Paragraph cutting is much like the PowerPoint Method. If you’re not comfortable with PowerPoint or don’t have the time, print your paper out and lay it in front of you. With scissors, cut the paragraphs out and line them up top to bottom from introduction to conclusion and start reading.  

Just like the PowerPoint method, you can rearrange the paragraphs to see what layout best fits your paper and intent. You can also use this method on individual paragraphs by cutting up the sentences and rearranging them as noted above.  

During this time, you might realize that a sentence you have in Paragraph 1 might actually fit better in Paragraph 3, so you can physically cut it out and move it to the other paragraph. Once you are done take a picture of your finished structure just in case you forget your edits later, and then transfer your edits into your actual paper.        

The Highlighting Method 

The Highlighting Method is a simple way to check the structure of your paper and assess what you do or don’t have in your paper as well. With at least 4 different colored highlighters (or more depending on the type of paper you’re writing or what your rubric asks you to include) highlight the different elements of your paper. Maybe you want your thesis and topic sentences to be highlighted in blue and your supporting evidence to be highlighted in orange. The Highlighting Method gives you a chance to see the placement and type of sentences you have in each paragraph by color-coordinating. This not only helps you to assess your paragraphs but also how much or how little you have in each paragraph.        

   Note in the example of the Highlighter Method above:  

• Topic sentences (which are original thought or observation) are highlighted in yellow.   
• Quotes are highlighted in green.   
• Summary is highlighted in blue. 
• Paraphrasing is highlighted in gray.   
• Anything that is not highlighted is original thought from the writer.   

The end result: This method allows us to see that this paragraph is balanced with original thought as well as a variety of sources and ways in which the writer was able incorporate them into her paragraph.  

Rubrics and Assignment Guidelines  

Teachers typically give a rubric or assignment guideline when assigning a paper so make sure to consult it when you start the revision process to remind yourself what you need to include in your paper. They are extremely helpful in making sure that you have all the big bases covered in your writing since they include what the teacher expects to find when reading your paper, such as word length, formatting, number and type of sources, and how clear your points are.      

It might be helpful for you to print out a copy of the rubric or assignment guideline for yourself and check off if you meet each of paper’s requirements when revising. If you find that you have the box for word length checked off but don’t have enough sources to meet the minimum for the source requirement, this gives you a chance to find additional sources and incorporate them into your paper before the deadline.  

Rubrics and assignment guidelines can be your best friends when you’re revising! Don’t be afraid of using them to your advantage during the revision process!    

Sentence Level Edits   While it’s essential to make sure that there are no issues with the overall structure of your paper, you should also look at some of the smaller problems. You can go about tackling some of the sentence-level edits by proofreading your paper.   

Proofreading   Proofreading is usually the final step when it comes to revising. This is when you read over your paper specifically to look for any mistakes involving things such as spelling, grammar, and punctuation. Even though revising involves more than just checking your grammar, it’s still important to make sure that your paper is grammatically correct. Having grammatical errors in your paper can not only cause you to lose points on your assignment, but it can also cause your readers to become confused and misunderstand what you’re trying to say. Before you begin this process, you should doublecheck to make sure that you’ve handled any larger issues first, such as problems with the organization, style or formatting issues, etc. If everything’s correct, then you’re ready to take a look at the grammatical errors.  While proofreading may seem like a tedious process, there are a few strategies that may help you.  

Proofreading Strategies 

Set your work to the side for a little while.   After you’ve spent some time writing and revising a paper, you become very familiar with it. You know what it says, or what it’s supposed to say. However, this familiarity can actually be a hindrance when it comes to trying to proofread. So, after you’ve finished with your major revisions, consider setting your paper to the side for a bit, maybe overnight, or even just for a few hours if you’re short on time. That way, when you come back to it, you’ll have a fresh perspective to begin proofreading with.  

Don’t just use Spellcheck.   Spellcheck, or any program like it, is a very useful tool when it comes to proofreading. You should always make sure to use it before turning in an assignment, as it can catch errors that you might not have noticed. However, you should not rely on it. There are certain problems that it can’t catch, or that it may miss, so you should look back over your paper after using Spellcheck on it.  

Print out a hard copy.   Printing out a hard copy of your paper has some of the same benefits as setting it aside for a few days. By the time you’ve reached the proofreading stage of revision, you’ll have already become very familiar with your paper, and you’ll have become used to seeing it on a screen. When you print your paper out, you’ll be seeing it in a new format, which can make it easier to spot errors. Also, having a hard copy of your paper gives you the opportunity to mark-up a physical copy of your work.  

Read your work out loud.   Reading your work out loud can help you find grammatical errors, but it’s mainly useful for making sure that your sentences flow together and don’t sound awkward. Something that looks good on paper may actually end up sounding disjointed. This is a great way to ensure that your writing is cohesive. Reading aloud in front of a friend or family member can also be helpful for identifying these types of errors. They may be able to catch things that you may not notice.   

Look for one type of error at a time.   Proofreading may seem like a daunting task, as it encompasses so many things. A way to make it less intimidating can be that you only focus on looking for one type of error at a time. For example, on your first read-through, you look for any spelling errors. Then, on your second read-through, you look for any comma errors. This can help to make the proofreading process a little more manageable.  

Ask another person to review it.   Once you’re finished proofreading your paper, it can still be helpful to have another set of eyes look over it. Like with setting your work aside, or printing out a hard copy, having a fresh perspective look over the paper can be helpful. You can ask a friend or family member to read your work, or you can always make an appointment with a consultant at the Writing Center to go over your paper. If you’d like to set up an appointment with a consultant, click here .   

Many people have trouble knowing when and where to use a comma in their sentences. This can lead to confusion in their readers, because, depending on where a comma is placed, it can change the meaning of the sentence completely. Below are a few general rules that can help you check and make sure that your paper uses commas correctly.  

If you still need some help with this, click here for some more examples of proper comma use.  

Subject Verb Agreement 

Another common mistake that people make while writing a paper is that, in their sentences, their subjects and verbs don’t agree. Subjects and verbs agree when they are both singular or plural, and in the same “person” (first person, third person, etc.). An example of subject-verb agreement would be: “I am” or “he is”, while an example of subject-verb disagreement would be: “He am” or “I is”.    

Here are a few rules you should keep in mind to make sure that your subjects and verbs agree throughout your paper.   

If you still need some help with this, click here for some more examples of subject-verb agreement.  

Active and Passive Voice 

While you’re working on your paper, you should always make sure to keep your writing in the active voice, and not the passive voice. The difference between the two is that in the active voice, the subject of your sentence is performing the action, while in the passive voice, the subject is receiving the action. That may sound confusing, so here’s an example to show you what they both look like.  

Active Voice Example: The hero saved the day.   

Passive Voice Example: The day was saved by the hero.  

In the first example, the subject of the sentence, the hero, is performing the verb. He is actively saving the day. However, in the second example, the action already happened. It’s in the past; the day was saved.   

In your writing, you want to avoid phrases that sound like the second example. The active voice is typically clearer, which makes it easier for your readers to understand what it is that you’re trying to say.   

While you’re editing your writing, if you come across a sentence that includes a “by the…” phrase, that sentence is probably written in the passive voice. You can fix it by rearranging some of your words.   

For example: The knight was kidnapped by the dragon .  

You see we have a “by the” phrase. That means that this sentence is written in the passive voice, so, what we need to do is reorganize. Who is actually doing something in this sentence? The dragon, he is actively kidnapping the knight. The knight is being useless and doing nothing, so why should he be the star of the sentence? He shouldn’t be; the dragon should be the subject instead. So, he and the knight switch places. If the dragon is the new subject, then we need to update our verb as well.  

So, our new sentence would be: The dragon kidnapped the knight.  

This sentence is written in the active voice, because the subject of the sentence, the dragon, is the one who is doing something.   

If you still need some help with this, click here for some more examples of how to change passive voice sentences into active voice.   

Questions to Keep You on Track   

As you’re revising your paper, feel free to use the questions below to help you through the revision process.   

Print out your own checklist here.

References  

Academic Guides. (n.d.). Writing a Paper: Proofreading .  https://academicguides.waldenu.edu/writingcenter/writingprocess/proofreading .   

Hobart and William Smith Colleges. (n.d.). Academics: Revision Strategies . https://www.hws.edu/academics/ctl/writes_revision.aspx .  

Lumen. (n.d.). Guide to Writing . https://courses.lumenlearning.com/styleguide/chapter/subject-verb-agreement/ .   

Purdue Writing Lab. (n.d.). Changing Passive to Active Voice // Purdue Writing Lab . Purdue Writing Lab. https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/general_writing/academic_writing/active_and_passive_voice/changing_passive_to_active_voice.html .  

Student Success. (n.d.). Commas (Eight Basic Uses) . https://www.iue.edu/student-success/coursework/commas.html .  

The Writing Center. (n.d.). Subject-Verb Agreement .  https://writingcenter.gmu.edu/guides/subject-verb-agreement .  

Choose Your Test

Sat / act prep online guides and tips, getting college essay help: important do's and don’ts.

College Essays

If you grow up to be a professional writer, everything you write will first go through an editor before being published. This is because the process of writing is really a process of re-writing —of rethinking and reexamining your work, usually with the help of someone else. So what does this mean for your student writing? And in particular, what does it mean for very important, but nonprofessional writing like your college essay? Should you ask your parents to look at your essay? Pay for an essay service?

If you are wondering what kind of help you can, and should, get with your personal statement, you've come to the right place! In this article, I'll talk about what kind of writing help is useful, ethical, and even expected for your college admission essay . I'll also point out who would make a good editor, what the differences between editing and proofreading are, what to expect from a good editor, and how to spot and stay away from a bad one.

Table of Contents

What Kind of Help for Your Essay Can You Get?

What's Good Editing?

What should an editor do for you, what kind of editing should you avoid, proofreading, what's good proofreading, what kind of proofreading should you avoid.

What Do Colleges Think Of You Getting Help With Your Essay?

Who Can/Should Help You?

Advice for editors.

Should You Pay Money For Essay Editing?

The Bottom Line

What's next, what kind of help with your essay can you get.

Rather than talking in general terms about "help," let's first clarify the two different ways that someone else can improve your writing . There is editing, which is the more intensive kind of assistance that you can use throughout the whole process. And then there's proofreading, which is the last step of really polishing your final product.

Let me go into some more detail about editing and proofreading, and then explain how good editors and proofreaders can help you."

Editing is helping the author (in this case, you) go from a rough draft to a finished work . Editing is the process of asking questions about what you're saying, how you're saying it, and how you're organizing your ideas. But not all editing is good editing . In fact, it's very easy for an editor to cross the line from supportive to overbearing and over-involved.

Ability to clarify assignments. A good editor is usually a good writer, and certainly has to be a good reader. For example, in this case, a good editor should make sure you understand the actual essay prompt you're supposed to be answering.

Open-endedness. Good editing is all about asking questions about your ideas and work, but without providing answers. It's about letting you stick to your story and message, and doesn't alter your point of view.

Think of an editor as a great travel guide. It can show you the many different places your trip could take you. It should explain any parts of the trip that could derail your trip or confuse the traveler. But it never dictates your path, never forces you to go somewhere you don't want to go, and never ignores your interests so that the trip no longer seems like it's your own. So what should good editors do?

Help Brainstorm Topics

Sometimes it's easier to bounce thoughts off of someone else. This doesn't mean that your editor gets to come up with ideas, but they can certainly respond to the various topic options you've come up with. This way, you're less likely to write about the most boring of your ideas, or to write about something that isn't actually important to you.

If you're wondering how to come up with options for your editor to consider, check out our guide to brainstorming topics for your college essay .

Help Revise Your Drafts

Here, your editor can't upset the delicate balance of not intervening too much or too little. It's tricky, but a great way to think about it is to remember: editing is about asking questions, not giving answers .

Revision questions should point out:

• Places where more detail or more description would help the reader connect with your essay
• Places where structure and logic don't flow, losing the reader's attention
• Places where there aren't transitions between paragraphs, confusing the reader
• Moments where your narrative or the arguments you're making are unclear

But pointing to potential problems is not the same as actually rewriting—editors let authors fix the problems themselves.

Bad editing is usually very heavy-handed editing. Instead of helping you find your best voice and ideas, a bad editor changes your writing into their own vision.

You may be dealing with a bad editor if they:

• Add material (examples, descriptions) that doesn't come from you
• Use a thesaurus to make your college essay sound "more mature"
• Add meaning or insight to the essay that doesn't come from you
• Tell you what to say and how to say it
• Write sentences, phrases, and paragraphs for you
• Change your voice in the essay so it no longer sounds like it was written by a teenager

Colleges can tell the difference between a 17-year-old's writing and a 50-year-old's writing. Not only that, they have access to your SAT or ACT Writing section, so they can compare your essay to something else you wrote. Writing that's a little more polished is great and expected. But a totally different voice and style will raise questions.

Where's the Line Between Helpful Editing and Unethical Over-Editing?

Sometimes it's hard to tell whether your college essay editor is doing the right thing. Here are some guidelines for staying on the ethical side of the line.

• An editor should say that the opening paragraph is kind of boring, and explain what exactly is making it drag. But it's overstepping for an editor to tell you exactly how to change it.
• An editor should point out where your prose is unclear or vague. But it's completely inappropriate for the editor to rewrite that section of your essay.
• An editor should let you know that a section is light on detail or description. But giving you similes and metaphors to beef up that description is a no-go.

Proofreading (also called copy-editing) is checking for errors in the last draft of a written work. It happens at the end of the process and is meant as the final polishing touch. Proofreading is meticulous and detail-oriented, focusing on small corrections. It sands off all the surface rough spots that could alienate the reader.

Because proofreading is usually concerned with making fixes on the word or sentence level, this is the only process where someone else can actually add to or take away things from your essay . This is because what they are adding or taking away tends to be one or two misplaced letters.

Laser focus. Proofreading is all about the tiny details, so the ability to really concentrate on finding small slip-ups is a must.

Excellent grammar and spelling skills. Proofreaders need to dot every "i" and cross every "t." Good proofreaders should correct spelling, punctuation, capitalization, and grammar. They should put foreign words in italics and surround quotations with quotation marks. They should check that you used the correct college's name, and that you adhered to any formatting requirements (name and date at the top of the page, uniform font and size, uniform spacing).

Limited interference. A proofreader needs to make sure that you followed any word limits. But if cuts need to be made to shorten the essay, that's your job and not the proofreader's.

A bad proofreader either tries to turn into an editor, or just lacks the skills and knowledge necessary to do the job.

Some signs that you're working with a bad proofreader are:

• If they suggest making major changes to the final draft of your essay. Proofreading happens when editing is already finished.
• If they aren't particularly good at spelling, or don't know grammar, or aren't detail-oriented enough to find someone else's small mistakes.
• If they start swapping out your words for fancier-sounding synonyms, or changing the voice and sound of your essay in other ways. A proofreader is there to check for errors, not to take the 17-year-old out of your writing.

What Do Colleges Think of Your Getting Help With Your Essay?

Admissions officers agree: light editing and proofreading are good—even required ! But they also want to make sure you're the one doing the work on your essay. They want essays with stories, voice, and themes that come from you. They want to see work that reflects your actual writing ability, and that focuses on what you find important.

On the Importance of Editing

Get feedback. Have a fresh pair of eyes give you some feedback. Don't allow someone else to rewrite your essay, but do take advantage of others' edits and opinions when they seem helpful. ( Bates College )

Read your essay aloud to someone. Reading the essay out loud offers a chance to hear how your essay sounds outside your head. This exercise reveals flaws in the essay's flow, highlights grammatical errors and helps you ensure that you are communicating the exact message you intended. ( Dickinson College )

On the Value of Proofreading

Share your essays with at least one or two people who know you well—such as a parent, teacher, counselor, or friend—and ask for feedback. Remember that you ultimately have control over your essays, and your essays should retain your own voice, but others may be able to catch mistakes that you missed and help suggest areas to cut if you are over the word limit. ( Yale University )

Proofread and then ask someone else to proofread for you. Although we want substance, we also want to be able to see that you can write a paper for our professors and avoid careless mistakes that would drive them crazy. ( Oberlin College )

On Watching Out for Too Much Outside Influence

Limit the number of people who review your essay. Too much input usually means your voice is lost in the writing style. ( Carleton College )

Ask for input (but not too much). Your parents, friends, guidance counselors, coaches, and teachers are great people to bounce ideas off of for your essay. They know how unique and spectacular you are, and they can help you decide how to articulate it. Keep in mind, however, that a 45-year-old lawyer writes quite differently from an 18-year-old student, so if your dad ends up writing the bulk of your essay, we're probably going to notice. ( Vanderbilt University )

Now let's talk about some potential people to approach for your college essay editing and proofreading needs. It's best to start close to home and slowly expand outward. Not only are your family and friends more invested in your success than strangers, but they also have a better handle on your interests and personality. This knowledge is key for judging whether your essay is expressing your true self.

Parents or Close Relatives

Your family may be full of potentially excellent editors! Parents are deeply committed to your well-being, and family members know you and your life well enough to offer details or incidents that can be included in your essay. On the other hand, the rewriting process necessarily involves criticism, which is sometimes hard to hear from someone very close to you.

A parent or close family member is a great choice for an editor if you can answer "yes" to the following questions. Is your parent or close relative a good writer or reader? Do you have a relationship where editing your essay won't create conflict? Are you able to constructively listen to criticism and suggestion from the parent?

One suggestion for defusing face-to-face discussions is to try working on the essay over email. Send your parent a draft, have them write you back some comments, and then you can pick which of their suggestions you want to use and which to discard.

Teachers or Tutors

A humanities teacher that you have a good relationship with is a great choice. I am purposefully saying humanities, and not just English, because teachers of Philosophy, History, Anthropology, and any other classes where you do a lot of writing, are all used to reviewing student work.

Moreover, any teacher or tutor that has been working with you for some time, knows you very well and can vet the essay to make sure it "sounds like you."

If your teacher or tutor has some experience with what college essays are supposed to be like, ask them to be your editor. If not, then ask whether they have time to proofread your final draft.

Guidance or College Counselor at Your School

The best thing about asking your counselor to edit your work is that this is their job. This means that they have a very good sense of what colleges are looking for in an application essay.

At the same time, school counselors tend to have relationships with admissions officers in many colleges, which again gives them insight into what works and which college is focused on what aspect of the application.

Unfortunately, in many schools the guidance counselor tends to be way overextended. If your ratio is 300 students to 1 college counselor, you're unlikely to get that person's undivided attention and focus. It is still useful to ask them for general advice about your potential topics, but don't expect them to be able to stay with your essay from first draft to final version.

Friends, Siblings, or Classmates

Although they most likely don't have much experience with what colleges are hoping to see, your peers are excellent sources for checking that your essay is you .

Friends and siblings are perfect for the read-aloud edit. Read your essay to them so they can listen for words and phrases that are stilted, pompous, or phrases that just don't sound like you.

You can even trade essays and give helpful advice on each other's work.

If your editor hasn't worked with college admissions essays very much, no worries! Any astute and attentive reader can still greatly help with your process. But, as in all things, beginners do better with some preparation.

First, your editor should read our advice about how to write a college essay introduction , how to spot and fix a bad college essay , and get a sense of what other students have written by going through some admissions essays that worked .

Then, as they read your essay, they can work through the following series of questions that will help them to guide you.

Introduction Questions

• Is the first sentence a killer opening line? Why or why not?
• Does the introduction hook the reader? Does it have a colorful, detailed, and interesting narrative? Or does it propose a compelling or surprising idea?
• Can you feel the author's voice in the introduction, or is the tone dry, dull, or overly formal? Show the places where the voice comes through.

Essay Body Questions

• Does the essay have a through-line? Is it built around a central argument, thought, idea, or focus? Can you put this idea into your own words?
• How is the essay organized? By logical progression? Chronologically? Do you feel order when you read it, or are there moments where you are confused or lose the thread of the essay?
• Does the essay have both narratives about the author's life and explanations and insight into what these stories reveal about the author's character, personality, goals, or dreams? If not, which is missing?
• Does the essay flow? Are there smooth transitions/clever links between paragraphs? Between the narrative and moments of insight?

Reader Response Questions

• Does the writer's personality come through? Do we know what the speaker cares about? Do we get a sense of "who he or she is"?
• Where did you feel most connected to the essay? Which parts of the essay gave you a "you are there" sensation by invoking your senses? What moments could you picture in your head well?
• Where are the details and examples vague and not specific enough?
• Did you get an "a-ha!" feeling anywhere in the essay? Is there a moment of insight that connected all the dots for you? Is there a good reveal or "twist" anywhere in the essay?
• What are the strengths of this essay? What needs the most improvement?

Should You Pay Money for Essay Editing?

One alternative to asking someone you know to help you with your college essay is the paid editor route. There are two different ways to pay for essay help: a private essay coach or a less personal editing service , like the many proliferating on the internet.

My advice is to think of these options as a last resort rather than your go-to first choice. I'll first go through the reasons why. Then, if you do decide to go with a paid editor, I'll help you decide between a coach and a service.

When to Consider a Paid Editor

In general, I think hiring someone to work on your essay makes a lot of sense if none of the people I discussed above are a possibility for you.

If you can't ask your parents. For example, if your parents aren't good writers, or if English isn't their first language. Or if you think getting your parents to help is going create unnecessary extra conflict in your relationship with them (applying to college is stressful as it is!)

If you can't ask your teacher or tutor. Maybe you don't have a trusted teacher or tutor that has time to look over your essay with focus. Or, for instance, your favorite humanities teacher has very limited experience with college essays and so won't know what admissions officers want to see.

If you can't ask your guidance counselor. This could be because your guidance counselor is way overwhelmed with other students.

If you can't share your essay with those who know you. It might be that your essay is on a very personal topic that you're unwilling to share with parents, teachers, or peers. Just make sure it doesn't fall into one of the bad-idea topics in our article on bad college essays .

If the cost isn't a consideration. Many of these services are quite expensive, and private coaches even more so. If you have finite resources, I'd say that hiring an SAT or ACT tutor (whether it's PrepScholar or someone else) is better way to spend your money . This is because there's no guarantee that a slightly better essay will sufficiently elevate the rest of your application, but a significantly higher SAT score will definitely raise your applicant profile much more.

Should You Hire an Essay Coach?

On the plus side, essay coaches have read dozens or even hundreds of college essays, so they have experience with the format. Also, because you'll be working closely with a specific person, it's more personal than sending your essay to a service, which will know even less about you.

But, on the minus side, you'll still be bouncing ideas off of someone who doesn't know that much about you . In general, if you can adequately get the help from someone you know, there is no advantage to paying someone to help you.

If you do decide to hire a coach, ask your school counselor, or older students that have used the service for recommendations. If you can't afford the coach's fees, ask whether they can work on a sliding scale —many do. And finally, beware those who guarantee admission to your school of choice—essay coaches don't have any special magic that can back up those promises.

Should You Send Your Essay to a Service?

On the plus side, essay editing services provide a similar product to essay coaches, and they cost significantly less . If you have some assurance that you'll be working with a good editor, the lack of face-to-face interaction won't prevent great results.

On the minus side, however, it can be difficult to gauge the quality of the service before working with them . If they are churning through many application essays without getting to know the students they are helping, you could end up with an over-edited essay that sounds just like everyone else's. In the worst case scenario, an unscrupulous service could send you back a plagiarized essay.

Getting recommendations from friends or a school counselor for reputable services is key to avoiding heavy-handed editing that writes essays for you or does too much to change your essay. Including a badly-edited essay like this in your application could cause problems if there are inconsistencies. For example, in interviews it might be clear you didn't write the essay, or the skill of the essay might not be reflected in your schoolwork and test scores.

Should You Buy an Essay Written by Someone Else?

Let me elaborate. There are super sketchy places on the internet where you can simply buy a pre-written essay. Don't do this!

For one thing, you'll be lying on an official, signed document. All college applications make you sign a statement saying something like this:

I certify that all information submitted in the admission process—including the application, the personal essay, any supplements, and any other supporting materials—is my own work, factually true, and honestly presented... I understand that I may be subject to a range of possible disciplinary actions, including admission revocation, expulsion, or revocation of course credit, grades, and degree, should the information I have certified be false. (From the Common Application )

For another thing, if your academic record doesn't match the essay's quality, the admissions officer will start thinking your whole application is riddled with lies.

Admission officers have full access to your writing portion of the SAT or ACT so that they can compare work that was done in proctored conditions with that done at home. They can tell if these were written by different people. Not only that, but there are now a number of search engines that faculty and admission officers can use to see if an essay contains strings of words that have appeared in other essays—you have no guarantee that the essay you bought wasn't also bought by 50 other students.

• You should get college essay help with both editing and proofreading
• A good editor will ask questions about your idea, logic, and structure, and will point out places where clarity is needed
• A good editor will absolutely not answer these questions, give you their own ideas, or write the essay or parts of the essay for you
• A good proofreader will find typos and check your formatting
• All of them agree that getting light editing and proofreading is necessary
• Parents, teachers, guidance or college counselor, and peers or siblings
• If you can't ask any of those, you can pay for college essay help, but watch out for services or coaches who over-edit you work
• Don't buy a pre-written essay! Colleges can tell, and it'll make your whole application sound false.

Ready to start working on your essay? Check out our explanation of the point of the personal essay and the role it plays on your applications and then explore our step-by-step guide to writing a great college essay .

Using the Common Application for your college applications? We have an excellent guide to the Common App essay prompts and useful advice on how to pick the Common App prompt that's right for you . Wondering how other people tackled these prompts? Then work through our roundup of over 130 real college essay examples published by colleges .

Stressed about whether to take the SAT again before submitting your application? Let us help you decide how many times to take this test . If you choose to go for it, we have the ultimate guide to studying for the SAT to give you the ins and outs of the best ways to study.

Anna scored in the 99th percentile on her SATs in high school, and went on to major in English at Princeton and to get her doctorate in English Literature at Columbia. She is passionate about improving student access to higher education.

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Revising an Essay — A Quick & Easy Guide

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The desire to provide a perfect and fascinating college essay with reliable facts and no grammatical problems is natural. Tackling an academic essay requires the same meticulous approach. However, editing and revising may be daunting if you are unprepared. To make the revision process go smoothly, you should know the steps for revising an essay, as explained below.

Inhaltsverzeichnis

• 1 Revising an Essay – In a Nutshell
• 2 Definition: Revising an essay
• 3 Revising an essay: The big picture
• 4 Revising an essay: An overview
• 5 Revising an essay: Checklist
• 6 The best time for revising an essay

Revising an Essay – In a Nutshell

• Revision is making changes and edits to a text until you fix all errors and flaws.
• Even if you believe you have done your absolute best, always approach it as a draft .
• Write your essay’s thesis statement or critical topic in the opening paragraph .
• It is crucial to elaborate on your points in each paragraph by providing relevant information and examples.

Definition: Revising an essay

To revise means to look over it again. Revising an essay entails reviewing the overall structure and how well you presented your ideas. You can rewrite some sentences to make your concepts more straightforward and add, remove or rearrange paragraphs to make your case more compelling.

Revising an essay: The big picture

During your initial reading, focus on the essay’s general theme , fluency and content quality rather than correcting grammar mistakes. Once you have read your essay, you should consider the following questions.

• How should I interpret the results of my essay?
• Was my response helpful ?
• Does it provide an understanding , or is it simply a story?
• Do I illustrate my morals using personal experiences and case studies ?
• Is there a good balance between focusing on myself and focusing on someone else or anything else?

Rewrite your essay to address the issues you raise if you answer any of the above questions negatively. For example;

Revising an essay: An overview

Revising an essay well entails moving the best ideas to the front , switching the order of the essential themes and eliminating any fluff . One way to do this is to improve the visibility of the argument’s structure by bolstering subject phrases and transitions.

The Introduction

Fundamentally, an introduction paragraph’s purpose is to ease the transition from the reader’s everyday experience into the textual and cognitive realm of the essay. Present yourself as an intelligent writer who has thoroughly researched the subject and can swiftly navigate the complexity and depths of the issue . The tone you choose for your beginning will determine how the rest of your essay reads.

Underline the confusing, tedious or superfluous portions when revising an essay. Go back and make any required changes, such as elaborating on dull areas with more exciting language or cutting out redundant phrases . Ensure that your essay highlights your unique qualities, interests and experiences that will appeal to institutions.

The Conclusion

It would be best to summarise your primary arguments , reiterate your thesis and leave the reader with a last idea in your conclusion. A preliminary draft’s topic and conclusion may likely diverge if the author drifts from the initial concept to a more detailed argument while writing. Repeat without seeming like you are trying too hard when revising an essay. Most readers do not mind a moderate level of repetition since it provides a sense of stability and familiarity they value. However, restate your thesis sparingly in the last paragraph and avoid repeatedly mentioning the same points in different wording.

Revising an essay: Checklist

Here is a checklist that will help you when revising an essay:

• While reading my work, do others understand what I mean? Have I made myself clear?
• Is the essay I turned in what the instructor expected?
• Is it possible that I am trying to do too much? Should I be more specific?
• How efficient is my method of organisation?
• How better can I explain this idea?
• Is the tone I am employing acceptable for this situation?
• Am I using any phrases that need to be defined?

The best time for revising an essay

The optimum time for revising an essay is often not immediately after you finish the first version (however, there are exceptions to this rule). Instead, give yourself space from your task by waiting a few hours or days. In this manner, you will be more open to revisions and less likely to guard your work.

When should I start revising an essay?

Wait at least an hour after finishing an essay to start revising it. Ideally, it would be better to hold off for a day or two.

When revising an essay, how many times should I do it?

There may be multiple revision phases, depending on the length and complexity of your essay. When you have finished editing your work, set it aside for a while so that you may come back to it with new perspectives.

What should I look for while revising an essay?

While reworking your college essay, look for overarching concerns such as message, flow, tone, style and clarity. Next, concentrate on removing grammatical and punctuation mistakes.

Why should I bother revising an essay?

Proofreading is just one of the revision processes. It involves reviewing the paper to ensure all ideas and content are relevant to the work.

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• Revision vs. Proofreading

by acburton | Apr 30, 2024 | Resources for Students , Writing Resources

Somewhere towards the end of the writing process , you’ll be ready for revision. Or proofreading? Or both!

You see, revision and proofreading are two different things. Revision is the process of reviewing and improving our writing for clarity, conciseness, and to make sure it fits the prompt/serves our purpose as well as seems accessible to our target audience. It focuses on global, or overarching, concerns in our writing: things like organization, argument, evidence, continuity, clarity, and flow. Proofreading on the other hand is all about double-checking local, or minor, concerns like grammar, spelling, syntax, and word choice. While both are essential, they represent two separate stages in the writing process. Revision should happen after initial drafting, while proofreading occurs as a final step before turning in a piece of writing.

The “Intuitive Sequence”

Harris ( How To Do Things with Texts ) describes the “labor of writing” as involving three steps:

• “Drafting, or generating text.”
• “Revising, or working with the text you’ve created, rethinking and developing what you want to say.”
• “Editing, or working on your text as an artifact, preparing the final version of your document.”

These steps form the “intuitive sequence”; the process of transforming ideas into words on the page, reconsidering, revisiting, and reworking what you have written, and, lastly, editing, formatting, or in other words, proofreading your final document.

It is important to remember however, that, in practice, much of this work overlaps. Many, if not most, writers revise and edit as they move through their draft, although as Harris notes, it is not usually recommended to spend too much time “polishing” a draft before you are even sure it will make it to the final cut (or version) of your essay. Sometimes, revision can include drafting new material to incorporate into your paper, or editing can lead you right back to the revision stage if you find your paragraphs, sentences, or arguments could use some rearranging.

Remember! Aim for good enough, not perfect. No piece of writing will ever be perfect, which means we’re always aiming for ‘good enough.’

Tips for Approaching Revision, Proofreading, or Both

This is not an exhaustive list! For example, in both stages, you’ll want to be sure that you are appropriately citing the work you get from another author or authors.

• As you begin revising, start by taking a “funnel approach”: begin with general concerns and gradually move to those more specific.
• Reexamine the topic and structure of your writing. Do you stay on topic throughout your essay? After revisiting your transitions, should you rearrange your paragraphs to change the ‘flow’ of your paper?
• Check out the language used; is it too wordy? Redundant? What is your tone? Are your arguments clear to an external reader?

Proofreading

• Avoid relying only on spelling and grammar checkers. They make mistakes too, so you will need to double and triple check your work, even with software helping your writing.
• Fix one error at a time. This will help you avoid having to skim or reread to catch errors that weren’t addressed the first time you caught them.
• Read the text backwards. Sometimes the brain automatically corrects written mistakes!
• Ask a native English speaker to read your paper out loud. This will help you catch minor grammatical errors you might have missed, as well as allow you to hear the ‘flow’ of your essay.
• Double-check. It’s always a good idea to read through your draft at various stages of the writing process.
• Know when to stop working on it! You’ll reach a point at which you’re not substantially revising or improving a piece of writing, just tinkering with it or nit picking (which generally isn’t helpful). It’s important to know when a piece of writing is good enough.

Ask for Feedback

While you can create a clear, powerful piece of writing on your own, it’s impossible to know whether it reads that way to an audience without talking to someone about it. Be sure to have peers, friends, family, or tutors give you feedback on your writing to make sure it’s communicating what you want it to.

Visit the Writing Center for additional help during all stages of the writing process!

https://www.unr.edu/writing-speaking-center/writing-speaking-resources/editing-and- proofreading-techniques https://www.grammarly.com/blog/revise/ https://www.jstor.org/stable/j.ctv1vbd212.8 How To Do Things with Texts by Joseph Harris (Chapter 5).

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Today’s ‘quordle’ hints and answers for monday, may 6.

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POLAND - 2023/08/01: In this photo illustration, a Quordle logo seen displayed on a smartphone. ... [+] (Photo Illustration by Mateusz Slodkowski/SOPA Images/LightRocket via Getty Images)

Looking for Sunday’s Quordle hints and answers? You can find them here:

Hey, folks! Hints and the answers for today’s Quordle words are just ahead.

How To Play Quordle

For any newcomers joining us, here’s how to play Quordle : Just start typing in words. You have four five-letter words to guess and nine attempts to find them all. The catch is that you play all four words simultaneously.

If you get a letter in the right place for any of the four words, it will light up in green. If a word contains a letter from one of your guesses but it’s in the wrong place, it will appear in yellow. You could always check out the practice games before taking on the daily puzzle.

Here are some hints for today’s Quordle game, followed by the answers:

Apple iPhone 16 New Design And Performance Upgrades Revealed In Leak

Apple confirms widespread iphone changes coming to millions of ipads, 299 tesla model 3 too good lease makes it competitive with honda civic despite lower price, what are today’s quordle hints.

• Word 1 (top left) hint — spoil clean clothing with a dirty mark
• Word 2 (top right) hint — Robin Williams’ character in Aladdin
• Word 3 (bottom left) hint — a stage of a video game
• Word 4 (bottom right) hint — a race divided into stages that sees one runner pass a baton to the next
• One of the words has a pair of repeated letters. Another word has two pairs of repeated letters
• Today’s words start with S, G, L and R

What Are Today’s Quordle Answers?

Spoiler alert! Don’t scroll any further down the page until you’re ready to find out today’s Quordle answers.

This is your final warning!

Today’s words are...

That’s all there is to it for today’s Quordle clues and answers. Be sure to check my blog for hints and the solution for Tuesday’s game if you need them.

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Hope Hicks gets teary testifying at Trump’s hush money trial

After a week of tabloid-focused testimony, the former aide led the jury through the whirlwind of the 2016 campaign and directly to the Oval Office.

NEW YORK — Hope Hicks, a former top aide to Donald Trump , appeared to break down crying on the witness stand Friday at Trump’s criminal trial, where she described campaign and White House efforts to keep a lid on scandalous stories about his past sex life.

Her time on the stand marked a significant shift in the focus of trial testimony; after days of hearing about tabloid editors and secret deals to stifle or sell celebrity gossip, the jury was led through the whirlwind of the 2016 presidential campaign and directly to the Oval Office.

Prosecutors with the Manhattan district attorney’s office wanted Hicks to show the jury how worried the 2016 Trump campaign was about negative stories about him and women — a key element in Trump’s alleged motive in the hush money case.

Her testimony seemed to accomplish that limited goal, but overall her tenor was respectful and complimentary of Trump, the presumptive GOP nominee for president in the November election; far from an aide turning against her former boss, she came across as a still-loyal and reluctant participant in his prosecution.

Hicks has long been seen as one of Trump’s most loyal aides, following him from his business to the 2016 presidential campaign to the White House. After about two hours on the witness stand in a packed courtroom, she was overcome by emotion as Trump lawyer Emil Bove prepared to cross-examine her.

As Bove began, Hicks slowly turned her face away from Trump, who was sitting at the defense table, and toward the jury. She brought her hand to her nose and started to quietly cry.

“Miss Hicks, do you need a break?” asked New York Supreme Court Justice Juan Merchan .

“Yes,” she said through tears.

Trump hush money trial

With that, the jury was sent out of the courtroom while Hicks collected herself.

Trump had watched Hicks enter the courtroom but did not react much during her time on the stand; at some points he wrote notes and passed them to his lawyers, but mostly he sat impassively at the defense table, listening with his eyes mostly closed.

Hicks appeared nervous at the start of her testimony, but there was no confrontation or revelation that seemed to prompt her emotional moment. It appeared that the attention of the high-profile trial, and being a prosecution witness against her former boss, whom she described in positive terms, became overwhelming as the day wore on.

Hicks told the jury about conversations inside the White House in 2018, as aides dealt with the fallout from news stories about payments made to two women during the 2016 campaign to keep them from going public with allegations about sexual trysts with Trump.

Under questioning from prosecutor Matthew Colangelo, Hicks recounted speaking to Trump after an article appeared in 2018 about a payment to adult-film actress Stormy Daniels. That $130,000 payment was first made by Michael Cohen, then a lawyer for Trump, whom Trump later reimbursed. Those reimbursements, and their categorization as legal costs rather than campaign expenses, are the basis of the 34-count indictment filed against Trump by Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg (D).

After that hush money payment was detailed by the Wall Street Journal, Hicks said, Trump told her that “Michael had paid this woman to protect him from a false allegation, and that Michael felt like it was his job to protect him and that’s what he was doing and he did it out of the kindness of his heart.” Soon after the story came out, Cohen publicly claimed to have made the payment with his own money.

Cohen completed a three-year prison term after pleading guilty to fraud and lying, and has become an outspoken Trump critic . He is expected to be a key witness in the case. Hicks on Friday became the latest of several trial witnesses who have said biting things about Cohen .

Asked if it sounded like Mr. Cohen to make a $130,000 payment “out of the kindness of his heart,” Hicks replied, “I’d say that would be out of character for Michael … I didn’t know Michael to be an especially charitable person or selfless person.”

She said he was “the kind of person who seeks credit.”

At another point, Hicks wryly mentioned that Cohen liked to refer to himself as a “fixer,” yet in her experience, he fixed things “only because he first broke it.”

For prosecutors, the main purpose of Hicks’s testimony seemed to be showing that Trump and his campaign were very concerned about allegations made against him by women.

When it came to the Daniels story, which surfaced publicly while he was in the White House, Hicks said Trump told her that “it was better to be dealing with it now, and it would have been bad to have that story come out before the election.”

As soon as Hicks said that, prosecutors ended their questioning.

Her testimony, while emotional at one moment, did not offer any major revelations or surprises, but it adds to prosecutors’ larger point that Trump was motivated to keep scandalous stories out of the public eye during the election.

But Hicks’s account also made clear that her former boss was concerned about the potential effect of the allegations on his family.

When the Journal published a story in early November 2016 about the National Enquirer buying the rights to a Playboy model’s tale of an affair with Trump — a purchase the tabloid made for the express purpose of keeping the allegation quiet — Hicks said the presidential candidate worried about Melania Trump’s reaction.

In her role as a campaign adviser, Hicks said, she wanted to “blow past it and keep going,” since the election was only days away.

She said Trump was “concerned about the story, he was concerned about how it would be viewed by his wife, and he wanted me to make sure that the newspapers weren’t delivered to their residence that morning.”

By that point, the campaign had already been rocked a month earlier, when The Washington Post revealed the existence of an “Access Hollywood” recording in which Trump bragged about grabbing women’s genitalia.

That story unleashed a political maelstrom, Hicks testified. Prosecutors wanted her testimony in part to show that, after the scandal, Trump and his campaign were desperate to prevent further damaging stories about him and women, and that gave the candidate and his staff a powerful motive to keep Daniels and any other potential accusers quiet.

Hicks said she was “a little stunned” when she was first asked for comment about the “Access Hollywood” tape, and wrote in an email that they should “deny, deny, deny.”

“I had a good sense that this was going to be a massive story and sort of dominate the news cycle for the next several days at least,” she said. “This was a crisis.”

At times in her testimony, Hicks flashed a sense of humor, noting that around the same time as that story, a hurricane hit the East Coast.

“I don’t think anybody remembers where or when that hurricane made landfall,” she said. “It was all Trump, all the time, for the next 36 hours.”

The 11th day of the trial — the first time a former U.S. president has faced criminal charges — began with the judge reassuring Trump that despite being found in contempt of court for repeated violations of his gag order, Trump still had an absolute right to testify in his defense if he wanted to do so later.

“It came to my attention that there may be some misunderstanding regarding the order,” Merchan said, referring to comments Trump made a day earlier in the courthouse hallway. Speaking to reporters, the former president had complained that the judge’s order — which bars him from talking about witnesses, or the families of the judge or the prosecutor — prevented him from testifying. It does not.

Merchan tried to clear up the issue by telling Trump: “You have an absolute right to testify at trial if that’s what you decide to do after consultation with your attorneys.” The gag order, he said, only applies to statements made outside the courtroom, whether in the hallway, in media interviews or on social media.

As Merchan spoke, Trump nodded in agreement.

Trump has flirted publicly with the idea of testifying in his defense, though lawyers usually advise defendants not to do so, because it gives prosecutors a chance to question the person under oath in front of the jury.

Trump has been found in contempt of court for nine statements that violated the judge’s gag order, and Merchan is considering four additional statements that may also be violations.

Later Friday, a court official said Trump has paid the $9,000 in fines he owed for those violations. The payment was made in two installments: one for $2,000 and another for $7,000.

Trump New York hush money case

Former president Donald Trump’s criminal hush money trial is underway in New York. Follow live updates from the trial .

Jury selection: A full jury of 12 jurors and six alternates has been seated. Here’s what we know about the jurors .

The case: The investigation involves a $130,000 payment made to Stormy Daniels, an adult-film actress , during the 2016 presidential campaign. It’s one of many ongoing investigations involving Trump . Here are some of the key people in the case .

The charges: Trump is charged with 34 felony counts of falsifying business records. Falsifying business records is a felony in New York when there is an “intent to defraud” that includes an intent to “commit another crime or to aid or conceal” another crime. He has pleaded not guilty . Here’s what to know about the charges — and any potential sentence .

Can Trump still run for president? The short answer, legal experts said, is yes. The U.S. Constitution does not forbid Trump, or anyone else, from serving as president if convicted of a felony.

• Trump defense suggests he was shakedown target, not hush money schemer May 2, 2024 Trump defense suggests he was shakedown target, not hush money schemer May 2, 2024
• Judge may be losing patience on gag order and other Trump trial takeaways May 2, 2024 Judge may be losing patience on gag order and other Trump trial takeaways May 2, 2024
• Hope Hicks witnessed nearly every Trump scandal. Now she must testify. May 3, 2024 Hope Hicks witnessed nearly every Trump scandal. Now she must testify. May 3, 2024

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Guest Essay

Justin Trudeau Is No Match for a Polarized World

By Stephen Marche

Mr. Marche is the author, most recently, of “The Next Civil War.”

Political careers often end in failure — a cliché that exists because it too often happens to be true. Justin Trudeau, one of the world’s great progressive leaders, may be heading toward that moment. In a recent interview he acknowledged that every day he considers leaving his “crazy job” as Canada’s prime minister. Increasingly, the question is not if he will leave but how soon and how deep his failure will be when he goes.

At stake is something that matters more than one politician’s career: Canada’s contemporary liberal and multicultural society, which just happens to be the legacy of the prime minister’s father and predecessor, Pierre Trudeau. When you fly into Montreal, you land in Trudeau airport, and that’s because of Pierre, not Justin.

The threat to that liberal tradition is not all Justin Trudeau’s fault, of course. The right-wing tide overwhelming global politics has come late but with pent-up vigor to Canada. For several years now, polls have shown Mr. Trudeau’s Liberals at lows from which no Canadian political party has ever recovered in elections. In a recent by-election, in a key suburban district of the Greater Toronto Area, the Conservative Party beat the Liberals by a lopsided 57 percent to 22 percent, a swing of nine percentage points to the Conservatives.

But polls and by-elections can be poor predictors of election viability. A better indicator is the flummoxed figure of Mr. Trudeau himself, who seems increasingly out of touch in the new world of division and extremism.

Part of Mr. Trudeau’s problem is simple exhaustion, both his own and Canadian voters’. He has been in government for almost eight and a half years. During that time, he has been one of the most effective progressive leaders in the world. His government cut Canada’s child poverty in half. He legalized marijuana, ending roughly 100 years of nonsense. He made large strides in reconciliation with Indigenous Canadians. He renegotiated NAFTA with a lunatic American president. He handled Covid better than most. You don’t have to squint too hard to recognize that he is one of the most competent and transformative prime ministers this country has ever produced.

But an era has passed since the start of that halcyon time, when Mr. Trudeau stood in front of his first cabinet and, when asked why it was half female, answered, “Because it’s 2015.” Now a new generation has emerged, for which the liberal technocratic order his government represents has failed to offer a path to a stable, prosperous future and the identity politics he once embodied have withered into vacuous schism. The growing anti-Liberal Party sentiment of young people is the biggest threat to his electability.

His opponents are well aware of Mr. Trudeau’s unpopularity with young voters and have focused Conservative attacks on an issue especially important to that cohort: the housing crisis. The soaring real estate market, in which tiny homes in Toronto and Vancouver now regularly cost more than properties in Paris or New York, has been exacerbated by the Trudeau government bringing in over a million immigrants last year without having built the necessary infrastructure to support the communities receiving them.

For decades, Canada has been the only country in the world where the more patriotic citizens are, the more they support immigration. Liberal mishandling of immigration’s impact may well end this blessed state. The housing crisis is the epitome of Mr. Trudeau’s failure: It feels good — it feels righteous — to support immigration. Isn’t that the whole idea behind multiculturalism? But without the proper hardheadedness, without being frank about difficult realities, righteousness quickly sours.

The first evidence of the prime minister’s weakness in the face of Canada’s growing polarization was the government response to the so-called Freedom Convoy in 2022, in which anti-vaccine demonstrators held Ottawa hostage for a month. His government decided to take a bureaucratic approach to the disruption, dithering while the truckers entrenched themselves in the city, then using the Emergencies Act to seize several of their bank accounts. A January federal decision found that Mr. Trudeau’s invocation of the act was “not justified.”

Other countries took much simpler approaches to their civil unrest in the aftermath of Covid restrictions. The French used tear gas. The moment a convoy set out from Los Angeles headed for Washington, in imitation of the Canadian convoy, the Biden administration called out the National Guard. Other countries know: There is a time for brute force.

The same fear of confrontation — which, to be fair to Mr. Trudeau, afflicts the entirety of Canadian culture and politics — motivated new online harms legislation, which he proposed in February in an attempt to regulate or at least somewhat contain the internet and social media, from revenge pornography and child sexual abuse material to hate speech. It is, unfortunately, an absurd document that seeks to impose virtue by fiat.

The maximum penalty for promoting genocide — a form of speech crime — is life imprisonment, meaning harsh punishments can be meted out for the vaguest and most subjective of definitions. Equally troubling is the measure that if a Canadian citizen “fears on reasonable grounds” that a hate crime will be committed, the individual can apply for an order that another person be subjected to court-mandated conditions on what that person may say.

No less a figure than Margaret Atwood described the proposed law as “Orwellian.” “It’s Lettres de Cachet all over again,” she wrote on X , referring to the king’s ability in prerevolutionary France to imprison without trial. The spirit behind the new law is the very worst of Canada: Be nice, or else. And it will do nothing to contain the disinformation wave that’s swelling.

But more than any other event, it is the Oct. 7 attack on Israel by Hamas that has exposed Mr. Trudeau’s inability to fight for liberal values. Since that day, the Canadian Jewish community has been subject to violence not seen since the 1930s. A synagogue has been firebombed , a Jewish school shot at , a Jewish hospital targeted by an antisemitic mob, a Jewish-owned bookstore vandalized , a Jewish neighborhood disrupted , a Jewish grocery store lit on fire . A mob outside a Holocaust Museum in Montreal chanted , “Death to the Jews.” Mr. Trudeau’s response has been pleas for everyone to just get along. “This needs to stop,” he said , referring to the lobbing of a Molotov cocktail at a synagogue. “This is not who we are as Canadians.”

This litany of failures is all the more significant because of Mr. Trudeau’s name. At a moment of crisis for Canadian multiculturalism, he makes a poor contrast with his father. Pierre Trudeau was not just another Canadian politician; he passed the Charter of Rights and Freedoms while establishing Canada’s Constitution as its own and not subject to the British Parliament. He made no-fault divorce and homosexuality legal. He instituted the official policy of multiculturalism, which made it a matter of law that Canadian citizens were encouraged to practice their religions and maintain their identities.

Pierre Trudeau might have been the most important architect of the liberal Canada, but he was also tough as hell. He famously invoked the War Measures Act against separatist terrorists in 1970, suspending civil liberties and bringing in the military. When asked by journalists how far he was willing to go, he said, “Just watch me.” Pierre Trudeau knew that the liberal order demands forceful and practical — and occasionally ugly — defense.

His son now seems to believe that telling people to be nice to one another will do. This weakness not only threatens the multicultural society his father founded; it threatens progressive values around the world. For many, Canada seemed a lone candle alight for the values of pluralism and liberalism as they have been extinguished elsewhere in the world.

Justin Trudeau does not have to call an election until 2025. He won elections against the odds before. But time is not on his side. It’s not Pierre Trudeau’s world anymore. It doesn’t much look like Justin Trudeau’s, either.

Stephen Marche is the author, most recently, of “The Next Civil War.”

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An earlier version of this article misstated the name of an act that Pierre Trudeau invoked in 1970. It is the War Measures Act, not the Emergency War Measures Act.

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