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Essay on Actual Self

Students are often asked to write an essay on Actual Self in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Actual Self

Understanding actual self.

The term ‘Actual Self’ refers to how we see ourselves. It is our perception of our own traits, abilities, and characteristics. This is not about how others see us, but it is about our own understanding of who we are.

Importance of Actual Self

Knowing our Actual Self is important. It helps us understand our strengths and weaknesses. If we know our Actual Self, we can work on improving our weak areas. It also helps us set goals that match our abilities.

Actual Self and Self-Esteem

Our Actual Self affects our self-esteem. If we have a positive view of our Actual Self, we feel good about ourselves. If we have a negative view, we may feel unhappy or not good enough.

Actual Self and Relationships

Our Actual Self also influences our relationships. If we know ourselves well, we can better understand others. It helps us build strong and healthy relationships with others.

In conclusion, understanding our Actual Self is key to personal growth, building strong relationships, and maintaining a healthy self-esteem. It is a vital part of our identity and personal development.

250 Words Essay on Actual Self

Understanding the actual self.

The ‘Actual Self’ is the person you truly are. It’s like looking at your reflection in the mirror. It is the real you, with all your strengths and weaknesses, your likes and dislikes, your hopes and fears. It is who you are when nobody is watching you.

The Actual Self and Self-Image

Your ‘Actual Self’ is not always the same as your ‘Self-Image’. Your self-image is how you think you look or behave. Sometimes, people have a self-image that is different from their actual self. They may think they are better or worse than they really are. This can lead to confusion and unhappiness.

The Importance of the Actual Self

Knowing your ‘Actual Self’ is very important. It helps you understand what you really want in life. It also helps you make good decisions that are right for you. When you know your actual self, you can live a life that is true to who you are. This can make you happy and fulfilled.

Discovering the Actual Self

Discovering your ‘Actual Self’ can take time. It involves thinking about your feelings and actions. It also involves being honest with yourself. It is not always easy, but it is a journey worth taking.

In conclusion, the ‘Actual Self’ is the real you. It is important to know and understand your actual self to live a happy and fulfilled life. Remember, everyone is unique and special in their own way, and so are you.

500 Words Essay on Actual Self

Understanding the concept of ‘actual self’.

‘Actual Self’ is a term used in psychology. It refers to how we see ourselves, or our perception of our own behaviors, traits, and characteristics. Think of it as looking into a mirror, but instead of seeing our physical appearance, we see our personality and actions. This concept is important because it helps us understand who we are and how we behave in different situations.

The Role of ‘Actual Self’ in Our Lives

Our ‘Actual Self’ plays a big role in our lives. It influences how we think, feel, and behave. For instance, if you see yourself as a kind person, you’ll likely act kindly towards others. On the other hand, if you see yourself as a lazy person, you might not put much effort into your work or studies.

Our ‘Actual Self’ also affects our self-esteem, which is how much we value ourselves. If we have a positive view of our ‘Actual Self’, we tend to have high self-esteem. If we have a negative view, we may have low self-esteem.

How We Form Our ‘Actual Self’

Our ‘Actual Self’ is shaped by many factors. Our experiences, interactions with others, and even our culture can influence how we see ourselves. For example, if we constantly receive praise for being smart, we might begin to see ourselves as intelligent. Similarly, if we are often criticized for being clumsy, we might start to view ourselves as clumsy.

Changing Our ‘Actual Self’

Our ‘Actual Self’ is not fixed. It can change over time as we grow and have new experiences. For example, a shy person can become more outgoing after joining a club or participating in group activities. The key to changing our ‘Actual Self’ is to recognize our current self-perception and then work towards the change we want to see.

Importance of a Positive ‘Actual Self’

Having a positive ‘Actual Self’ is important for our mental health. It can lead to higher self-esteem, better relationships, and overall happiness. We can cultivate a positive ‘Actual Self’ by focusing on our strengths, learning from our mistakes, and not comparing ourselves to others.

In conclusion, our ‘Actual Self’ is our own view of who we are. It plays a crucial role in our lives, influencing our behaviors, feelings, and self-esteem. While it is shaped by many factors, it can also change over time. By fostering a positive ‘Actual Self’, we can improve our mental health and lead happier lives.

That’s it! I hope the essay helped you.

If you’re looking for more, here are essays on other interesting topics:

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  • College essay

How to Write About Yourself in a College Essay | Examples

Published on September 21, 2021 by Kirsten Courault . Revised on May 31, 2023.

An insightful college admissions essay requires deep self-reflection, authenticity, and a balance between confidence and vulnerability. Your essay shouldn’t just be a resume of your experiences; colleges are looking for a story that demonstrates your most important values and qualities.

To write about your achievements and qualities without sounding arrogant, use specific stories to illustrate them. You can also write about challenges you’ve faced or mistakes you’ve made to show vulnerability and personal growth.

Table of contents

Start with self-reflection, how to write about challenges and mistakes, how to write about your achievements and qualities, how to write about a cliché experience, other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about college application essays.

Before you start writing, spend some time reflecting to identify your values and qualities. You should do a comprehensive brainstorming session, but here are a few questions to get you started:

  • What are three words your friends or family would use to describe you, and why would they choose them?
  • Whom do you admire most and why?
  • What are the top five things you are thankful for?
  • What has inspired your hobbies or future goals?
  • What are you most proud of? Ashamed of?

As you self-reflect, consider how your values and goals reflect your prospective university’s program and culture, and brainstorm stories that demonstrate the fit between the two.

Prevent plagiarism. Run a free check.

Writing about difficult experiences can be an effective way to show authenticity and create an emotional connection to the reader, but choose carefully which details to share, and aim to demonstrate how the experience helped you learn and grow.

Be vulnerable

It’s not necessary to have a tragic story or a huge confession. But you should openly share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences to evoke an emotional response from the reader. Even a cliché or mundane topic can be made interesting with honest reflection. This honesty is a preface to self-reflection and insight in the essay’s conclusion.

Don’t overshare

With difficult topics, you shouldn’t focus too much on negative aspects. Instead, use your challenging circumstances as a brief introduction to how you responded positively.

Share what you have learned

It’s okay to include your failure or mistakes in your essay if you include a lesson learned. After telling a descriptive, honest story, you should explain what you learned and how you applied it to your life.

While it’s good to sell your strengths, you also don’t want to come across as arrogant. Instead of just stating your extracurricular activities, achievements, or personal qualities, aim to discreetly incorporate them into your story.

Brag indirectly

Mention your extracurricular activities or awards in passing, not outright, to avoid sounding like you’re bragging from a resume.

Use stories to prove your qualities

Even if you don’t have any impressive academic achievements or extracurriculars, you can still demonstrate your academic or personal character. But you should use personal examples to provide proof. In other words, show evidence of your character instead of just telling.

Many high school students write about common topics such as sports, volunteer work, or their family. Your essay topic doesn’t have to be groundbreaking, but do try to include unexpected personal details and your authentic voice to make your essay stand out .

To find an original angle, try these techniques:

  • Focus on a specific moment, and describe the scene using your five senses.
  • Mention objects that have special significance to you.
  • Instead of following a common story arc, include a surprising twist or insight.

Your unique voice can shed new perspective on a common human experience while also revealing your personality. When read out loud, the essay should sound like you are talking.

If you want to know more about academic writing , effective communication , or parts of speech , make sure to check out some of our other articles with explanations and examples.

Academic writing

  • Writing process
  • Transition words
  • Passive voice
  • Paraphrasing

 Communication

  • How to end an email
  • Ms, mrs, miss
  • How to start an email
  • I hope this email finds you well
  • Hope you are doing well

 Parts of speech

  • Personal pronouns
  • Conjunctions

First, spend time reflecting on your core values and character . You can start with these questions:

However, you should do a comprehensive brainstorming session to fully understand your values. Also consider how your values and goals match your prospective university’s program and culture. Then, brainstorm stories that illustrate the fit between the two.

When writing about yourself , including difficult experiences or failures can be a great way to show vulnerability and authenticity, but be careful not to overshare, and focus on showing how you matured from the experience.

Through specific stories, you can weave your achievements and qualities into your essay so that it doesn’t seem like you’re bragging from a resume.

Include specific, personal details and use your authentic voice to shed a new perspective on a common human experience.

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Courault, K. (2023, May 31). How to Write About Yourself in a College Essay | Examples. Scribbr. Retrieved April 9, 2024, from https://www.scribbr.com/college-essay/write-about-yourself/

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Essays About Myself: Top 5 Essay Examples Plus Prompts

We are all unique individuals, each with traits, skills, and qualities we should be proud of. Here are examples and prompts on essays about myself .

It is good to reflect on ourselves from time to time. When applying for university or a new job, you may be asked to write about yourself to give the institution a better picture of yourself. Self-understanding and reflection are essential if you want to make a compelling argument for yourself.

Reflect on your life: look back on the people you’ve met, the places you’ve been, and the experiences you’ve had, and think about how they have shaped you into the person you have become today. Think of the bigger picture and be sure to consider who you are based on what others think and say about you, not just who you think you are. 

If you are tasked with the prompt, “essays about myself,” keep reading to see some essay examples.

1. It’s My Life by Ann Smith

2. how i see myself by leticia woods, 3. the truth about myself by madeline dyer, 4. what we see in others is a reflection of ourselves by sandra brossman, 5. a letter to myself by gladys mclaughlin, 1. introducing yourself, 2. describing your strengths and weaknesses, 3. what sets you apart from others, 4. your beliefs and values, 5. an experience that has defined you as a person, 6. what family means to you, 7. your favorite pasttime.

“Sure, I’ve had bad experiences in my life too, but this is exactly what made me the way I am now: grateful, full of love, with a desire to study well because it will help me become a successful person in future and have a high quality of life. I believe that it is manifesting day by day and I feel even more responsibility for what I do and where I go. With all I already have, I know that I’m on the right path and I will do my best to inspire others to live the way they feel like living as well.”

In her essay, Smith describes her interests, habits, and qualities. She writes that she is sociable, enthusiastic about studying, and friendly. She also touches on others’ opinions of her- that she is funny. One of Smith’s hobbies is photography, which allowed her to meet her best friend. She aims to study hard so she can be successful on whatever path she may follow, and inspire others to live their best life. 

“It is this drive that will carry me through my degree program and allow me to absorb the education that I receive and develop solid practical applications from this knowledge. I feel that I will eventually become highly successful in my chosen field because my past has clearly shown my commitment to excellence in every endeavor that I have chosen. Because I remain incredibly focused and committed for future success, I know that my future will be as rewarding as my past.”

Woods discusses how her identity helps her achieve her career goals. First, her commitment to her education is a great asset. Second, prior education and her service in the US Air Force allowed her to learn much about life, the world, and herself, and she was able to learn about different cultures. She believes that experience, devotion, and knowledge will allow her to achieve her dreams. 

“I’m getting better as I recover from the brain inflammation which caused my OCD, but I want to have a day like that. A day where I can relax and enjoy life fully again. A day where I haven’t a care in the world. And for that, I need to be kind to myself. I need to relax and remove any pressure I place on myself.”

Dyer reflects on an important part of herself- her Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Brain inflammation has made her a perfectionist, and she cannot relax. She is constantly compelled by an inner voice to do things she “should” be doing. She wants to be happy, and will try to shut off this voice by practicing self-affirmation. You might also be interested in these essays about discovering yourself .

“Believe it or not, forgiving YOURSELF is the most effective way to disengage from negative interactions with people.  We can only love and accept others to the degree that we love and accept ourselves.  When you make it a habit to learn from your relationships, eventually you will discover that you can observe negative traits within others without judgment and without getting hooked into someone else’s drama.”

In her essay, Brossman writes how we see what we desire for ourselves in others. Our relationships help us understand ourselves better; we see people’s bad qualities and criticize them, professing that we will not be like them. On the other hand, we see qualities we like and try to imitate them. To become a better version of yourself, you should learn from your relationships and emulate desirable qualities. 

“I never tell anyone that I am tired of work or study. Success will come to those who get up and go far. This is my life motto which always reminds me of how vital it is to be hard-working and resilient towards failures. I learn that no matter what others say (even mother and father) if their

thoughts contradict my goals, I don’t have to listen to them. Nobody will live your life, and nobody should tell you who you are and what you are.”

Mclaughlin writes a letter to her future self, explaining what she envisions for herself in the coming years. She writes about who she is now and describes her vision for how much better she will be in the future. She believes that she will have great encounters that will teach her about life, a loving, kind family, and an independent spirit that will triumph over all her struggles

Writing Prompts For Essays About Myself

Essays About Myself: Introducing yourself

Write a basic description of yourself; describe where you live, your school or job, and your family and friends. You should also give readers a glimpse of your personality- are you outgoing, shy, or sporty? If you want to write more, you can also briefly explain your hobbies, interests, and skills. 

Each of us has our own strengths and weaknesses. Reflect on what you are good at and what you can improve on and select 1-2 from each to write about. Discuss what you can do to work on your weaknesses and improve yourself. 

An essential part of yourself is your uniqueness; for a strong essay about “myself,” think about beliefs, qualities, or values that set you apart from others. Write about one or more, but be sure to explain your choices clearly. You can write about what separates you in the context of your family, friend group, culture, or even society as a whole. 

Your beliefs and values are at the core of your being, as they guide the decisions you make every day. Discuss some of your basic beliefs and values and explain why they are important to you. For a stronger essay, be sure to explain how you use these in day-to-day life; give concrete examples of situations in which these beliefs and values are used. 

We are all shaped by our past experiences. Reflect on an experience, whether that be an achievement, setback, or just a fun memory, and explain its significance to you. Retell the story in detail and describe how it has impacted you and helped make you the person you are today. 

Essays About Myself: What family means to you?

More often than not, family plays a big role in forming us. To give readers a better idea of your identity, describe your idea of family. Discuss its significance, impact, and role in your life. You may also choose to write about how your family has helped shape you into who you are. This should be based on personal experience; refrain from using external sources to inspire you.

Our likes and dislikes are an important part of who we are as well; in your essay, discuss a hobby of yours, preferably one you have been interested in for a long period of time, and explain why you enjoy it so much. You should also write about how it has helped you become yourself and made you a better person.  

Grammarly is one of our top grammar checkers. Find out why in this Grammarly review . If you’re stuck picking your next essay topic, check out our round-up of essay topics about education .

essay about how you know your actual self

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essay about how you know your actual self

15 Tips for Writing a College Essay About Yourself

What’s covered:.

  • What is the Purpose of the College Essay?
  • How to Stand Out Without Showing Off
  • 15 Tips for Writing an Essay About Yourself
  • Where to Get Free Feedback on Your Essay

Most students who apply to top-tier colleges have exceptional grades, standardized test scores, and extracurricular activities. How do admissions officers decide which applicants to choose among all these stellar students? One way is on the strength of their college essay .

This personal statement, along with other qualitative factors like teacher recommendations, helps the admissions committee see who you really are—the person behind the transcript. So, it’s obviously important to write a great one.

What Is the Purpose of the College Essay? 

Your college essay helps you stand out in a pool of qualified candidates. If effective, it will also show the admissions committee more of your personality and allow them to get a sense of how you’ll fit in with and contribute to the student body and institution. Additionally, it will show the school that you can express yourself persuasively and clearly in writing, which is an important part of most careers, no matter where you end up. 

Typically, students must submit a personal statement (usually the Common App essay ) along with school-specific supplements. Some students are surprised to learn that essays typically count for around 25% of your entire application at the top 250 schools. That’s an enormous chunk, especially considering that, unlike your transcript and extracurriculars, it isn’t an assessment of your entire high school career.  

The purpose of the college essay is to paint a complete picture of yourself, showing admissions committees the person behind the grades and test scores. A strong college essay shows your unique experiences, personality, perspective, interests, and values—ultimately, what makes you unique. After all, people attend college, not their grades or test scores. The college essay also provides students with a considerable amount of agency in their application, empowering them to share their own stories.

How to Stand Out Without Showing Off 

It’s important to strike a balance between exploring your achievements and demonstrating humility. Your aim should be to focus on the meaning behind the experience and how it changed your outlook, not the accomplishment itself. 

Confidence without cockiness is the key here. Don’t simply catalog your achievements, there are other areas on your application to share them. Rather, mention your achievements when they’re critical to the story you’re telling. It’s helpful to think of achievements as compliments, not highlights, of your college essay.  

Take this essay excerpt , for example:

My parents’ separation allowed me the space to explore my own strengths and interests as each of them became individually busier. As early as middle school, I was riding the light rail train by myself, reading maps to get myself home, and applying to special academic programs without urging from my parents. Even as I took more initiatives on my own, my parents both continued to see me as somewhat immature. All of that changed three years ago, when I applied and was accepted to the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco. I would be studying Arabic and learning my way around the city of Marrakesh. Although I think my parents were a little surprised when I told them my news, the addition of a fully-funded scholarship convinced them to let me go. 

Instead of saying “ I received this scholarship and participated in this prestigious program, ” the author tells a story, demonstrating their growth and initiative through specific actions (riding the train alone, applying academic programs on her own, etc.)—effectively showing rather than telling.

15 Tips for Writing an Essay About Yourself 

1. start early .

Leave yourself plenty of time to write your college essay—it’s stressful enough to compose a compelling essay without putting yourself under a deadline. Starting early on your essay also leaves you time to edit and refine your work, have others read your work (for example, your parents or a teacher), and carefully proofread.

2. Choose a topic that’s meaningful to you 

The foundation of a great essay is selecting a topic that has real meaning for you. If you’re passionate about the subject, the reader will feel it. Alternatively, choosing a topic you think the admissions committee is looking for, but isn’t all that important to you, won’t make for a compelling essay; it will be obvious that you’re not very invested in it.

3. Show your personality 

One of the main points of your college essay is to convey your personality. Admissions officers will see your transcript and read about the awards you’ve won, but the essay will help them get to know you as a person. Make sure your personality is evident in each part—if you are a jokester, incorporate some humor. Your friends should be able to pick your essay from an anonymous pile, read it, and recognize it as yours. In that same vein, someone who doesn’t know you at all should feel like they understand your personality after reading your essay. 

4. Write in your own voice 

In order to bring authenticity to your essay, you’ll need to write in your own voice. Don’t be overly formal (but don’t be too casual, either). Remember: you want the reader to get to know the real you, not a version of you that comes across as overly stiff or stilted. You should feel free to use contractions, incorporate dialogue, and employ vocabulary that comes naturally to you. 

5. Use specific examples 

Real, concrete stories and examples will help your essay come to life. They’ll add color to your narrative and make it more compelling for the reader. The goal, after all, is to engage your audience—the admissions committee. 

For example, instead of stating that you care about animals, you should tell us a story about how you took care of an injured stray cat. 

Consider this side-by-side comparison:

Example 1: I care deeply about animals and even once rescued a stray cat. The cat had an injured leg, and I helped nurse it back to health.

Example 2: I lost many nights of sleep trying to nurse the stray cat back to health. Its leg infection was extremely painful, and it meowed in distress up until the wee hours of the morning. I didn’t mind it though; what mattered was that the cat regained its strength. So, I stayed awake to administer its medicine and soothe it with loving ear rubs.

The second example helps us visualize this situation and is more illustrative of the writer’s personality. Because she stayed awake to care for the cat, we can infer that she is a compassionate person who cares about animals. We don’t get the same depth with the first example. 

6. Don’t be afraid to show off… 

You should always put your best foot forward—the whole point of your essay is to market yourself to colleges. This isn’t the time to be shy about your accomplishments, skills, or qualities. 

7. …While also maintaining humility 

But don’t brag. Demonstrate humility when discussing your achievements. In the example above, for instance, the author discusses her accomplishments while noting that her parents thought of her as immature. This is a great way to show humility while still highlighting that she was able to prove her parents wrong.

8. Be vulnerable 

Vulnerability goes hand in hand with humility and authenticity. Don’t shy away from exploring how your experience affected you and the feelings you experienced. This, too, will help your story come to life. 

Here’s an excerpt from a Common App essay that demonstrates vulnerability and allows us to connect with the writer:  

“You ruined my life!” After months of quiet anger, my brother finally confronted me. To my shame, I had been appallingly ignorant of his pain. 

Despite being twins, Max and I are profoundly different. Having intellectual interests from a young age that, well, interested very few of my peers, I often felt out of step in comparison with my highly-social brother. Everything appeared to come effortlessly for Max and, while we share an extremely tight bond, his frequent time away with friends left me feeling more and more alone as we grew older.

In this essay, the writer isn’t afraid to share his insecurities and feelings with us. He states that he had been “ appallingly ignorant ” of his brother’s pain, that he “ often felt out of step ” compared to his brother, and that he had felt “ more and more alone ” over time. These are all emotions that you may not necessarily share with someone you just met, but it’s exactly this vulnerability that makes the essay more raw and relatable. 

9. Don’t lie or hyperbolize 

This essay is about the authentic you. Lying or hyperbolizing to make yourself sound better will not only make your essay—and entire application—less genuine, but it will also weaken it. More than likely, it will be obvious that you’re exaggerating. Plus, if colleges later find out that you haven’t been truthful in any part of your application, it’s grounds for revoking your acceptance or even expulsion if you’ve already matriculated. 

10. Avoid cliches 

How the COVID-19 pandemic changed your life. A sports victory as a metaphor for your journey. How a pet death altered your entire outlook. Admissions officers have seen more essays on these topics than they can possibly count. Unless you have a truly unique angle, then it’s in your best interest to avoid them. Learn which topics are cliche and how to fix them . 

11. Proofread 

This is a critical step. Even a small error can break your essay, however amazing it is otherwise. Make sure you read it over carefully, and get another set of eyes (or two or three other sets of eyes), just in case.

12. Abstain from using AI

There are a handful of good reasons to avoid using artificial intelligence (AI) to write your college essay. Most importantly, it’s dishonest and likely to be not very good; AI-generated essays are generally formulaic, generic, and boring—everything you’re trying to avoid being.   The purpose of the college essay is to share what makes you unique and highlight your personal experiences and perspectives, something that AI can’t capture.

13. Use parents as advisors, not editors

The voice of an adult is different from that of a high schooler and admissions committees are experts at spotting the writing of parents. Parents can play a valuable role in creating your college essay—advising, proofreading, and providing encouragement during those stressful moments. However, they should not write or edit your college essay with their words.

14. Have a hook

Admissions committees have a lot of essays to read and getting their attention is essential for standing out among a crowded field of applicants. A great hook captures your reader’s imagination and encourages them to keep reading your essay. Start strong, first impressions are everything!

15. Give them something to remember

The ending of your college essay is just as important as the beginning. Give your reader something to remember by composing an engaging and punchy paragraph or line—called a kicker in journalism—that ties everything you’ve written above together.

Where to Get Free Feedback on Your College Essay 

Before you send off your application, make sure you get feedback from a trusted source on your essay. CollegeVine’s free peer essay review will give you the support you need to ensure you’ve effectively presented your personality and accomplishments. Our expert essay review pairs you with an advisor to help you refine your writing, submit your best work, and boost your chances of getting into your dream school. Find the right advisor for you and get started on honing a winning essay.

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essay about how you know your actual self

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How to Write an Essay about Yourself — The Ultimate Guide

By: Author Marcel Iseli

Posted on Last updated: April 13, 2023

How to Write an Essay about Yourself — The Ultimate Guide

Sharing is caring!

Of all people in this world, you know yourself best. Nevertheless, writing an essay about yourself is not, and will never be, a walk in the park.

While it is a bit grueling, knowing how to write an essay about yourself effectively can be your ticket to Mars – or more precisely, to your dream job or scholarship somewhere in this world.

So, today, we’ll look into the secret recipes of writing an essay about the self. Examples and explanations are available, too, to make things easier to digest.

Let’s begin with a brief answer.

Writing an essay about yourself

  • Know your audience
  • Write for your audience
  • Stick to one topic
  • Avoid sensitive topics
  • Be cohesive
  • Be personal
  • Mention relevant people
  • Proofread your work

How to write an essay about yourself in more detail

Writing is not for everyone. So, no matter how seemingly easy the topic is, like writing about the self, we can’t really say that everyone can do it.

But, on the brighter side, writing is a skill, and thus, it can be learned. Time and effort are the two main ingredients needed to get better at it.

So, to create an essay about yourself, here are eight guidelines that you can refer to and follow to make essay writing less taxing.

1. Know your audience

Knowing your audience allows you to convey your message effectively. Apart from that, it allows you to talk directly to whoever your reader is.

This can be done by doing research in advance. So, if you’re writing an essay about yourself, you need to have some idea as to who will be evaluating your essay.

If you are applying for a job, for instance, you need to bear in mind that one of the Human Resources staff will most likely be your target audience.

All in all, knowing your audience should give you a great avenue for your essay preparation as a whole; this allows you to take control of whatever writing piece you want to focus on.

2. Write for your audience

Apart from knowing your audience, it is needless to say that you have to write for your audience too.

Yes, you will be discussing your life in your essay, but it doesn’t mean that you can’t connect to your audience when doing such a thing.

Writing for your audience basically means looking for a strategy to make your target reader empathize with your story.

In other words, you have to write in such a way that your reader gets too immersed in your work that he or she will be reading until the last word in your conclusion.

Thus, you have to make your story as interesting as possible – just like how prose writers do their job, or at least close to it.

3. Stick to one topic

When writing an essay about yourself, it is advised to focus on one topic. So, instead of writing every relevant experience you’ve had, it is best to stick to one and go in-depth with it.

This allows you to write a richer essay, and at the same time, this would also keep your reader hooked on a particular event in your life.

Writing one too many topics in a single essay is not suggested because it derails your audience from what you really want to convey.

To contextualize, just think of a teacher introducing ten book chapters in a sixty-minute class. Apparently, you are less likely to retain all the information in this scenario.

So, again, think of a single topic that has essentially molded you to become a better version of yourself and just stick to it.

4. Avoid sensitive topics

While you can generally be free as to which topic you’d be writing about, there are certain things that you might want to steer clear of.

Some of these sensitive topics include gender, religion, social taboos, and politics. You should also avoid saying negative things about certain people and their beliefs in your essay.

In case your personal experience has something to do with sensitive issues, the best thing you can do is to focus on how you were able to cope with it.

Again, avoid name-dropping people who may have wronged you before so you won’t get off-topic.

5. Be cohesive

Cohesion or unity is not only important within a nation. It is also a fundamental aspect of writing and any other structured communication activity.

Effectively connecting your ideas by transforming them into readable text allows you to demonstrate your organizational skills to your reader.

Needless to say, you also need to be as coherent or logical as possible when presenting your inner thoughts so that your audience can be in-sync with you.

You can show cohesion by using connective devices such as conjunctions and adverbs or a combination of both, conjunctive adverbs, especially at the beginning of your paragraph or sentence.

6. Be personal

As you are writing an essay about “yourself,” you obviously have to be as personal and warm as possible in your write-up.

Being personal does not mean you have to share your deepest secrets with your reader just to grab their attention and keep them intrigued while reading.

What it means is that you need to present your story in such a way that it characterizes yourself and not anyone else.

The purpose of personal statements and essays about the self is actually for an organization or institution to get to know you as a person.

So, at the end of the day, you had better showcase your human side when writing these kinds of texts.

7. Mention relevant people

While it was mentioned early on that you have to avoid badmouthing others in your essay, it follows that you definitely can praise relevant people in your piece.

Mentioning how others have helped you get through the toughest times in your life bodes well because it shows your grateful side to your reader.

On top of that, it also shows that you are not self-centered and that you actually know how to appreciate others who have helped you along the way.

To do this, you can mention your family members, mentors, classmates, sports coaches, favorite writers, philosophers, and so on.

8. Proofread your work

Last but not least, you have to reread your work and make corrections, if necessary. It is best to do this a day or at least a couple of hours after you finish writing.

Essay writing is not just a five-finger exercise. It takes time to get done, and hence, you’ll get drained of your energy after doing it for hours.

This means that upon reaching your conclusion, you’ll probably not have the same amount of mental energy as much as you had when you started your introductory paragraph.

So, you may not be able to spot superfluous and ambiguous sentences as well as grammatical and typographical errors upon reaching the end of your essay.

Also, you have to remember that even the most seasoned writers are not immune to all kinds of writing errors that can be committed, hence proofreading is a whole different story.

If you can, it would actually be best to ask another person to proofread your essay and ask for feedback from that person.

Now that we’ve discussed the do’s and don’ts when writing a personal essay, let us now see how all these parts fit together.

Here’s an example essay for your reference:

Sample 1: A general essay about yourself 

Thinking I got it all figured out, a careless mistake changed my life forever. Back in early 2015, I was confronted with the most challenging problem I had to face – the consistent two red lines on the five pregnancy test tubes I bought for $5.99 at Walmart. “No. This can’t be true,” I thought to myself, so I scheduled a doctor’s appointment a couple of days later just to make sure. As expected, the doctor confirmed that I’ve been cooking a little bun in the oven for five weeks already. Devastated and still in shock, I headed back to my small apartment and blankly stared at the TV screen for hours not knowing how to react.

Fast forward to a couple of weeks later, when I finally had my bearings, I called my mom in Idaho, told her what happened, quit school, and decided to go back home. Mothers really know best, and this isn’t a myth at all. My mom accepted me and helped me get through all the physical, mental, and even social struggles I had back then, notwithstanding her own life problems at that time. Seven months later, I gave birth to the most wonderful purple-ish creature I have ever seen in my entire life – Everett.

My son Everett, who looks more like my mom than me, has taught me so many things I never knew I was capable of – from changing poopy diapers to becoming a moderately-celebrated one-woman band in my hometown, Nampa. Yes, Everett has also made me pursue the only thing I loved but never knew I was good at – music. My son is four years old now, and I’ve been steadily raising him up through being a freelance voice talent during the day and a local musician at night. With this set-up, I have been able to see my son grow day by day without missing a beat.

This entire experience has not only taught me how not to give up on life but also on myself. My mom, most especially, has also contributed a lot to why I decided to keep going despite everything. For that, I owe what I have become today to my beautiful son Everett and to my guiding light, my mom, Evelyn.

How to write an essay about yourself for a scholarship

Writing an essay for a scholarship program more or less shares the same structure as any kind of personal essay out there.

The difference, though, is that you will have to explain the purpose of your essay in the intro paragraph if you won’t be asked for a cover letter for it.

Writing a cover letter for an essay is also not just a cakewalk because it would also require time and effort to get done, just like any other writing piece.

Also, scholarships do not just land on one’s lap. It is something that we have to apply for and do some research about.

If you’re lucky enough and you have the right connections, someone might just be able to introduce scholarship programs to you.

When this happens, you had better prepare a thank you letter for a scholarship that you can give to your scholarship grantor.

So, how exactly should you write an essay about yourself for a scholarship program? Let’s try to find out below.

Writing an essay about yourself for a scholarship

  • Write your intent
  • Build the hook
  • Describe your experience in detail

Provide a climactic event

  • Reconcile and offer value

1. Write your intent

If a cover letter for your essay is not necessarily asked by the institution or organization you are applying for, it would be best to explain your purpose at the beginning.

This part is important because it is what tells your reader why he or she is holding a piece of paper or staring at his or her screen.

Remember that not all people are good readers, which means not everyone will immediately understand what you are trying to convey.

So, be clear with your purpose or intent in the first paragraph. Clearly, you should also formally introduce yourself in this part.

2. Build the hook

The hook comes after the intent – at least in a scholarship essay that does not necessarily require a cover letter.

The hook is what captures your audience’s attention, so this part is nothing less than crucial too. Think of the hook as something that would tell your audience “Hey, I’m worth reading.”

You can use a rhetorical question or statement here. Or, you can also use a relevant quote or a life lesson that you had learned based on the story you’re writing.

In the example essay a few sections later, you will see that the hook uses a jump-in strategy where it immediately tells you why the essay is more or less worth reading.

3. Describe your experience in detail

As the hook is designed to capture your audience’s attention, they would be asking “why” you wrote it in the back of their minds.

So, the next paragraph should be where your story starts so your reader can build a connection to your hook. 

You can start with the day your story happened or a little before that. You may also want to use visual representations like describing your story’s setting.

The very point of this paragraph is to bring your reader to the day that your story happened. This is done to make them walk through your life or whatever story you are telling.

Like in books and movies, you can also add a climax to your essay. The climax is known to be the highest point or peak of your story.

Here, you might want to be as detailed as possible so that your audience would also feel the tension that you are building.

The use of appropriate descriptive words is simply the key to making this happen. So, write your climax in such a way that your reader will be holding his breath while reading.

4. Reconcile and offer value

After the climax comes the reconciliation part. Here, you would want to write about the most important lesson you have learned from your experience.

This can also serve as the conclusion already. In this part, you will explain how your experience molded you to become better.

You can also mention relevant people in this paragraph, and explain who they are and how they helped you somehow get through life.

To see how all these parts fit together, here’s an example essay for a scholarship application:

Sample 2: Essay for a scholarship application

As the ginormous wave came toward me, I felt so thrilled waiting to ride and tame it with my five-year-old surfboard. Little did I know that another ginormous rock was also waiting underneath the waters to change my perspective on life forever.

I have already been surfing for a decent amount of time because I grew up around Laguna Beach, Orange County. So, I thought to myself “This is just going to be another awesome ride.” As the giant wave neared, I patiently paddled toward it and prepared to stand. Four seconds in, I was doing really well, so I gave myself a silent “good job” praise. A few moments later, I suddenly got off-balance and ended up getting rag-dolled by the apparently not-so-harmless wave.

“Stay out of the washing machine,” I suddenly heard my brother’s voice in my head. That was the very first lesson I had to learn the easy way back when I was younger. That wasn’t my first time getting wiped out either, so I was confident I could just survive the first wave. Thinking I got it all under control, I rose to the surface only to see an even larger wave about to crash. It was too late. I had been annihilated by nature once again. But this time, a sharp edged-rock hit the back of my head and caused me to faint and drown. Luckily, another surfer saw what happened and immediately helped me get back to the shore.

Because of the incident, I was hospitalized for a month, and my parents thought I wouldn’t make it. At that time, it would be fitting to say that I hit rock bottom, literally. Had Dylan, my savior, chosen another surfing spot, I would have not been able to write this essay at all. I owe my life to him, to my family, and to the doctors who decided not to give up on me at the end of the day. For the record, the day I had my surfing accident was the same day I decided to quit school because I had mindlessly thought it wouldn’t do me any good. So, when I recovered, I firmly told myself I would do everything not to mess up ever again, especially when education is at stake.

This particular near-death experience of mine has taught me to value the gift of life. Most of all, this has taught me that education is way more important than what I thought I would only be good at — surfing. If I will be given a chance to secure a slot in your scholarship program, rest assured I will make the most out of it to make Dylan and my whole family proud, to say the least.

How to write an essay about yourself for a job application

Meanwhile, job application essays about the self may take just a slightly different approach from that of a scholarship and general one.

An essay about yourself intended for a job application is also known as a cover letter in business correspondence.

You may want to check out our guidelines on how to write a cover letter for an event manager job as a reference or sample.

At other times, essays about the self may also be called a personal statement, such as when applying for teaching-related positions.

Although encompassing a similar intent, a cover letter is different from a personal statement in terms of creativity and level of formality.

When writing an essay about yourself for a job application, the main goal is to “sell” yourself to your potential employer.

It follows that you need to highlight relevant skills and experiences that would tell your reader exactly why you can be a good fit for the role you are applying for.

So, how can we do that? Let’s find out in the next section.

Writing an essay about yourself for a job application

  • Introduce yourself formally
  • Show why you are a good candidate
  • Summarize how you can be an asset

1. Introduce yourself formally

Like in the essay for a scholarship program, the default strategy is to formally introduce yourself to your reader and explain your writing purpose.

This allows your reader to get the hang of why your essay is being laid out in front of them. Put simply, this part should quickly explain the rest of the information that goes right below the intro.

Ideally, two to four sentences should suffice in creating the introduction part of your job application essay.

2. Show why you are a good candidate

“Show” and do not “tell” why you are a good candidate in the body of your essay – this is the golden rule when writing it for a job application.

As you may know, the body comes after the intro. In a five-paragraph essay, the body is composed of paragraphs two, three, and four.

In a three-paragraph essay, which is the structure in the example below, your body is made up only of paragraph number two.

In the example, you will see how the body aims to elaborate on how the applicant got influenced by external factors in applying for the role.

On top of that, you will also see in the body the applicant’s genuine motivation in seeking a particular job. Being as genuine as possible is highly suggested when writing this kind of essay.

3. Summarize how you can be an asset

Lastly, you can summarize your message into three to five sentences. You can do this by focusing on the most important areas that the job may entail.

Do not sell too much on the idea that you are the best among the other applicants because that’s something you should do during the interview.

Instead, the goal you should have in mind when writing this part is, in fact, to prompt the reader to schedule you for an interview.

This means that having a call-to-action prompt towards or at the end of your last paragraph is also highly suggested.

Sample 3: Essay for a job application

Apart from my educational and professional experience as a virtual sourcing associate last year, my interest in this particular role has been mainly influenced by my elder sister. She has been working from the comfort of her apartment for three years now. Before that, she used to live with us in my parents’ house. That particular role actually gave her enough resources to move out and start a life of her own — something I would also want for myself. She used to live with us back when I was still in college, so I had the chance to help her with some tasks from time to time.

This situation gave me an initial exposure to a remote employment setup. Remote employment is the kind of setup I am strongly vying for because of the freedom it offers. Clearly enough, a remote employment setup is not for everyone because it also has its own can of worms. To succeed in this, one must have effective time-management, communication, and organizational skills. However, as I have been exposed to this early on, and I am undoubtedly interested in it too, I believe I can be a good fit for the position you are looking for. I would be glad to share more about what I can offer to your organization in an interview.

How to write an essay about yourself for a job interview

Applying for a role in an organization is one thing, whereas securing an interview from your target organization is another.

If a person or organization wants you to write an essay about yourself before an interview, it means that they want to save time and effort.

Therefore, taking your best shot in the essay writing part is highly advised as this would also allow you to pitch yourself more.

In this kind of intent, you need to elaborate more on your personal side so as to give your interviewer an idea of who you are as a person on top of being a professional.

Writing an essay about yourself for a job interview

  • Jump to the hook
  • Build the tension
  • Explain what you have done 
  • Mention a relevant person
  • Show excitement toward the interview
  • Thank your interviewer for the invitation

1. Jump to the hook

As you are writing an essay about yourself for a job interview, it means that you need not necessarily introduce yourself anymore.

In other words, your interviewer wouldn’t have scheduled you for an interview had he or she not known about your basic information.

So, quickly jump to the hook and grab your reader’s attention. Remember to stay honest and not overdo this part.

2. Build the tension

Tension-building through words is an art. Luckily enough, this idea should not be treated as only limited to movies and novels.

Here, you will explain a problem or challenge that you are most likely facing and convey it through your human side.

Bear in mind that life is not all roses and rainbows, so it’s fine to share some of your struggles in life as a person.

You can show your emotional side in the sincerest manner possible in this part and avoid a showing-off stance.

3. Explain what you have done

After building the tension, you may now start explaining what you have done to try to solve the problem or challenge you explained early on.

In the particular case of job interviews, it would be nice if you could tell a story of how you got to learn to apply for the role you’re vying for.

Perhaps, you can go a little bit deeper into the details of how or why you came across the job posting or how you had an idea about the job opening.

When doing this in an e-mail message, you may want to avoid saying “I came across your job posting” because of how “unintentional” it sounds. 

4. Mention a relevant person

This part is optional. But, if there’s a particular person that has introduced the job opening to you, it would be best to mention that person in this part.

This would demonstrate your good and grateful side to your reader, or perhaps, potential employer, which is definitely what you want to happen.

To do this, you can simply elaborate on how a relevant person helped you out by introducing the job vacancy or maybe even how a certain person encouraged you to take a leap of fate.

5. Show excitement toward the interview

Another proven and tested trick you can incorporate in your essay for a job interview is to show how excited you are for the interview itself.

Remember that your excitement should be directed towards the interview and not the job role yet as you are not yet officially hired.

Showing excitement and humility at the same time is a great recipe for landing your dream job or any other goal in life.

6. Thank your interviewer for the invitation

Finally, a brief paragraph dedicated to thanking your interviewer for setting up an appointment with you should also do the trick.

If you are able to appreciate another person’s role in introducing a job opening to you, you should also not forget to thank your interviewer for taking a chance on you.

So, the conclusion of your essay should bear a grateful and excited tone but already dedicated to the interviewer.

You can see how all these tips and parts fit and flow together in the essay below:

Sample 4: Essay for a job interview

But, I didn’t want to just look for any job – as I have always wanted to become a writer. I also knew right from the start that going back to my parents’ house is never an option, no matter what. So, finding the right balance between what I really wanted to do and what I actually needed to do at that time was one of the hardest decisions I had to make.

With a bit of luck and a lot of desperation, I decided to draft an application for an entry-level writer/researcher role in a start-up media company in New York City. Earlier that night, I bumped into a long-lost friend from Ohio who was the main reason for how and why I got the role I applied for.

My friend Lillia, a single mother of two lovely kids, happened to just move to an apartment located beside XYZ 86.09 – a local radio station. “I’ve read they’re looking for a new research staff or something like that at the station because the last one just quit last week. You should give it a try” – these were more or less the exact words that she said that night.

So, when I got home, I did some research about the radio station, did more about the position, wrote a cover letter together with a resume, and submitted the application online. When I woke up the next morning, an interview invitation was already sitting in my inbox. At that exact moment, all I ever wanted was to do my best in the interview so I could land the job I always knew I’m good at. Interestingly enough, willpower and luck should somehow go together to make things happen.

So, I sincerely thank you for inviting me to an interview at your station this Friday, Miss Levine. I would be more than happy to share and know more about what I can do to contribute to your company through the role I am applying for.

How to write an essay about yourself from a third-person perspective

Writing from a third-person point of view simply requires the use of third-person pronouns. That said, doing so means avoiding the use of first and second-person pronouns.

Third-person pronouns include everything else except “you,” “we,” and “I.” So, these pronouns are made up of “he,” “she,” “it,” and “they.”

Writing in the third-person perspective in academic writing allows the objective and neutral flow of ideas. 

In creative writing, third-person narration allows you to present yourself as a character in your own story. This is good because it makes your ideas less biased and more convincing.

In connection with this, the question of whether we should write a resume from a first-person perspective is asked by quite a lot of people.

The rule of thumb when writing formal texts such as resumes is to religiously avoid the use of “I’s.” Instead, pronouns must be dropped to make the information more factual.

So, how exactly can we write an essay from a third-person point of view? Is that even possible? Let’s check that out below.

Writing an essay about yourself from a third-person perspective

  • Think of yourself as a book or movie character
  • Steer clear of “I,” “we,” and “you”
  • Stick with “he,” “she,” “it,” and “they”

1. Think of yourself as a book or movie character

The first thing to do is to simply think of yourself as a character, probably the protagonist, in a movie or book that you want to write about.

This means that you need to think of yourself as someone else while recalling your own story. Doing this is naturally tricky as you have to distance yourself from, well, yourself.

However, in the example later, you will see how and why writing an essay about yourself in a third-person perspective makes the story more interesting and less opinionated.

2. Steer clear of “I,” “we,” and “you”

The next thing to do is to avoid using the personal pronouns “I,” “we,” and “you.” While “I” and “we” are both in the first person, “you” is used in the second person.

Remember this rule, and you’ll come up with an interesting essay or even a short story about yourself. You may even want to consider becoming a novel writer in the future after doing it.

3. Stick with “he,” “she,” “it,” and “they”

Last but not least, to come up with a nicely-written essay about yourself in third-person POV, remember to only stick with the pronouns “he,” “she,” “it,” and “they” while drafting.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that you cannot use other types of pronouns such as object pronouns, possessive pronouns, and reflexive pronouns that are also in the third person.

You have to treat “he,” “she,” “it,” and “they” as your default reference pronouns only no matter what kind of story angle you want to build on.

To make things clearer, here’s an example essay about the self but written in a third-person point of view:

Sample 5: Essay from a third-person perspective

Fast forward to the present, Joe is now a licensed architect in Silver Spring, Montgomery County, Maryland. He built a start-up firm from scratch. Today, this very architectural firm, whose mission is to create and design spaces that are both sustainable and environment-friendly, already has around forty employees. This goes to show that, at least, he managed to quadruple the number of years he spent at school with his current company size.

If you ask him today what made him decide to root for his own success, he could go for hours. If you asked the same question a decade ago, he would just laugh and tell you to talk to another person instead. According to his staff, they could never, ever believe he used to be the black sheep of the family. That exact reaction is what keeps him going these days. It makes him feel like he is on the right path, and for that, he can’t thank all the people he works with enough.

He is also grateful for his parents, especially his mom, who did not give up on him before. Of course, he wouldn’t be able to get to where he is right now without the guidance of his mentors and professors at school. Joe hopes that his story, though not the most ideal, could somehow help those students who are still trying to be the best versions of themselves.

Frequently Asked Questions on “How to Write an Essay About Yourself”

How can i start an essay about myself.

To start writing the first paragraph of an essay about yourself, you can make use of either a formal introduction plus the intent. Or, you can start directly with a hook in the form of rhetorical statements or questions, quotes, or personal life lessons.

How can end an essay about myself?

To end an essay about yourself, you have to reconcile the ideas that you previously introduced. This means you have to summarize the points you presented and write a realization about those. You can make this part more powerful by focusing on other people’s contributions to your improvement rather than talking more about how you did things alone.

What topics can be written in an essay about myself?

Near-death experiences, general life struggles, education, mentorship, ambitions, and weaknesses are some of the most popular topics that can be used when writing an essay about the self.

Marcel Iseli Author Profile

Hey fellow Linguaholics! It’s me, Marcel. I am the proud owner of linguaholic.com. Languages have always been my passion and I have studied Linguistics, Computational Linguistics and Sinology at the University of Zurich. It is my utmost pleasure to share with all of you guys what I know about languages and linguistics in general.

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The importance of knowing yourself: your key to fulfillment

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What does it mean to know yourself?

The importance and benefits of knowing one's self, how to know yourself better, how to improve your self-knowledge, how coaching can help.

Think of the most eccentric person in your life. You know the one. 

The one who either shows up in a disheveled leather jacket or an all-black outfit and a beret. They’re somewhat aloof but always energetic. Unapologetically flamboyant, but always kind and understanding. This person chooses to be themselves, not who they’re expected to be. 

They don’t care about the world’s expectations. This sometimes gets them into trouble or attracts judging glares from nearby strangers. But, you have to admit, it would be nice to have that kind of self-confidence . And you can!

In a world rife with expectations, living authentically can feel impossible. It feels easier to have your path planned for you. But, in the long run, this will only hold you back from living a fulfilling life.

The great philosopher Socrates said it himself: “To know thyself is the beginning of wisdom.” 

So if you’re wondering whether authenticity is worth pursuing, the short answer is “yes.” And, for the detail-oriented among you, here’s everything you need to know about the importance of knowing yourself — so you too can find your true self.

Knowing yourself is about discovering what makes you tick. Among other things, it means:

  • Learning your likes and dislikes
  • Unearthing your beliefs and values
  • Knowing your personal boundaries
  • Accepting your personality traits
  • Being a better team player
  • Having a clearer path in your professional life
  • Understanding how you interact with others
  • Recognizing your core personal values
  • Increasing your capacity for self-compassion
  • Having a clearer idea of your life’s purpose
  • Knowing what it takes to be self-motivated
  • Being more adaptable  

Ultimately, all of these things will increase your self-awareness . Being more self-aware lends to enhanced self-development, acceptance, and proactivity while benefiting our overall mental health .

We’ll be more confident, make better decisions, have stronger relationships, and be more honest .

Knowing yourself is about knowing what makes you tick. It means identifying what matters to you, your strengths and weaknesses, your behaviors, tendencies, and thought patterns. This list describes the importance and benefits of knowing one's self:

1. Despite your quirks, flaws, and insecurities, you learn self-love and acceptance. Once you do, you can walk through the world with more confidence and care less about what people think. 

2. You can change your personality flaws and improve on your weaknesses. You are empowered to become who you want to be. This will help you become a better, more well-rounded person.

3. You’ll have more emotional intelligence , which is key to knowing others. You’ll be more conscious of your own emotions and feelings, making it easier to understand another person's point of view.

4. You'll be more confident. Self-doubt disappears when you know and accept yourself, and others won't influence you as easily. It'll be easier to stand your ground .

5. You’ll forge better relationships. It’s easier to share yourself when you know yourself. You’ll also know what kind of people you get along with, so you can find your community .

6. You’ll be less stressed. Self-awareness will help you make decisions that are better for you. And when this happens, you become less stressed about what people think or whether you made the right choice. 

7. You’ll break patterns of disappointment. Y ou'll find repetitive behaviors that lead to poor outcomes when you look inward. Once you name them, you can break them.

8. You’ll be happier. Expressing who you are, loud and proud, will help you improve your well-being.

Happy-business-people-discussing-during-meeting-the-importance-of-knowing-yourself

10. You'll have more self-worth. Why is self-worth important? Because it helps you avoid compromising your core values and beliefs. Valuing yourself also teaches others to respect you.

11. You'll understand your values. We can’t understate the importance of knowing your values. They will help you make decisions aligned with who you are and what you care about.

12. You'll find purpose in life. Knowing purpose in life will give you a clear idea of where you should go and what you should do. 

Getting to know yourself is hard. It involves deep self-reflection, honesty, and confronting parts of yourself you might be afraid of. But it’s a fundamental part of self-improvement .

If you need help, try working with a professional. BetterUp can help you navigate your inner world.

Now that we’re clear on the importance of knowing yourself, you might not know where to get started. Let’s get into it.

Check your VITALS

Author Meg Selig coined the term VITALS as a guide for developing self-knowledge. Its letters spell out the six core pillars of self-understanding:

These are your guides for decision-making and setting your goals. Understanding them will help you make decisions aligned with your authentic self. Here are some example values:

  • Being helpful
  • Trust 
  • Wealth 

You can see how each of these might lead to different life choices. For example, if you value honesty, you might quit a job where you have to lie to others.

2. I nterests

Your interests are what you do without being asked, like your hobbies, passions, and causes you care about. You can then try to align your work with these interests. Here are some examples:

  • Climate change. If you’re passionate about this issue, you might choose to work directly on the problem. Or you can make choices that allow for a more sustainable lifestyle, like owning an electric car.
  • Audio editing. Perhaps you’re an amateur musician, and you spend your time recording and editing audio. You can start working as a freelance editor or find a job that uses these skills.
  • Fitness. If you love working out and value helping others, you might consider becoming a trainer at your local gym or leading a running group.

Not all of your interests need to be a side-hustle . But being aware of them can help you make decisions that better suit your desired life. It is really about knowing your priorities.

3. T emperament

Your temperament describes where your energy comes from. You might be an introvert and value being alone. Or, as an extrovert, you find energy being around others.

Knowing your temperament will help you communicate your needs to others. 

If you’re a meticulous planner going on a trip, you should communicate this to your more spontaneous travel buddy. They might feel suffocated by your planning, leading to arguments down the road. Bringing it up before your trip will help talk it out to avoid conflict later.

4. A round-the-clock activities

This refers to when you like to do things. If you’re a writer and you’re more creative at night, carve out time in the evening to work. If you prefer working out in the morning, make it happen. Aligning your schedule with your internal clock will make you a happier human being.

Two-women-at-home-gardening-the-importance-of-knowing-yourself

5. L ife-mission and goals

Knowing your life mission is about knowing what gives your life meaning. It gives you purpose, a vocation , and something to strive for.

To find your life mission, think about what events were most meaningful to you so far. For example:

  • Leading a successful project at the office
  • Influencing positive change through your work
  • Helping someone else succeed

There are many ways to fulfill a life mission. You can fulfill your goals with the skills and resources you have. For example, “helping someone succeed” could mean becoming a teacher or mentoring a young professional.

6. S trengths and weaknesses

These include both “hard skills” (like industry-specific knowledge and talents) and “soft skills” (like communication or emotional intelligence ).

When you do what you’re good at, you’re more likely to succeed, which will improve your morale and mental health.

Knowing your weaknesses and toxic traits will help you improve on them or minimize their influence on your life.

Are you ready to get started? There are many ways to understand your inner self:

  • Write in a journal
  • Step out of your comfort zone
  • Track your progress
  • Choose smart habits

Woman-in-lotus-position-in-living-room-the-importance-of-knowing-yourself

A professional coach will encourage you to reflect on and reframe your inner thoughts and patterns. They understand that, in many cases, impulsivity holds you back from attaining your full potential.

The amygdala — an almond-sized region of the brain partially responsible for emotions — releases dopamine to reinforce impulsive behavior . This happens every time you open Facebook instead of working, eat chocolate while on a diet, or get angry at your colleagues instead of helping solve the problem.

Self-awareness can help you overcome your impulsivity. Armed with the right tools, you can break unhealthy or unwanted behaviors. 

A coach can help you meet these ends. They can teach you:

  • Mindfulness: the acceptance that nothing is inherently good or bad 
  • Metacognition: the awareness that your mind is the root of your actions
  • Reframing: the power to react differently to an event or circumstance

These three elements can help you strengthen your self-control . You'll keep a cool head in stressful situations, communicate more effectively with others, and become a better leader overall.

In other words: by checking in with yourself, you avoid wrecking yourself.

At BetterUp , our coaches are trained in Inner Work® and understand the importance of knowing yourself. This is a lifetime journey. But together, we can make your life better.

Discover your authentic self

Kickstart your path to self-discovery and self-awareness. Our coaches can guide you to better understand yourself and your potential.

Allaya Cooks-Campbell

With over 15 years of content experience, Allaya Cooks Campbell has written for outlets such as ScaryMommy, HRzone, and HuffPost. She holds a B.A. in Psychology and is a certified yoga instructor as well as a certified Integrative Wellness & Life Coach. Allaya is passionate about whole-person wellness, yoga, and mental health.

The benefits of knowing yourself: Why you should become your own best friend

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Meg Selig

Looking for Your True Self? 10 Strategies for Self-Knowledge

Follow these 10 pathways to a more vital sense of self..

Posted March 18, 2016 | Reviewed by Jessica Schrader

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The what and the how of self-knowledge

What do people mean when they advise you to “know yourself"?

That was the subject of this post , where I described six key elements of self-knowledge. To remember them, just memorize this simple acronym: VITALS. “VITALS” (or “VITAL Signs”) stands for:

  • I nterests/Passions
  • T emperament
  • A round-the-Clock ( biorhythms )
  • L ife Purpose/ Goals
  • S trengths/Skills

essay about how you know your actual self

I loved creating the acronym “VITALS,” because, well, I love acronyms, and VITALS reflects a happy reality—once you know something about yourself and act on it, you actually do build a more vital sense of self. (For more details on VITALS, click here .)

So now you know what to look for. But how do you learn about your VITAL signs? And where can you find them?

The process can be haphazard and serendipitous. You may have a teacher who tells you that you have a strength in math or science, and the seed of a career idea is planted. You may become outraged when you witness or experience an injustice and decide you have a life goal to rectify this wrong. You may be one of the happy few who can build a life around an outstanding interest or passion , like pop star Gwen Stefani who said , “When I was able to first write a song, that’s when I found my whole self.”

While luck and genes play a part in learning who you are, you can also apply deliberate strategies to help you find your true self. Think of your search as a treasure hunt, with clues and red herrings scattered along the way. Here are 10 useful strategies to use:

10 Strategies of Self-Discovery

1. Listen to compliments and absorb them. If you have a tendency to dismiss or brush off compliments, stop! While it’s true that some people might manipulate you through compliments, many more might be noticing one of your VITAL signs—something you yourself may have overlooked. In 11th grade, my English teacher wrote at the top of one of my papers: “Do you like to write? There’s much in this essay that says that you do.” Although I took another career path, I never forgot this comment, and here I am writing after all. (Thanks, Helen Hollander!)

Knowing your own strengths is one of the foundations of self-confidence as well as of self-knowledge. Become a person who “takes in the good,” listening for compliments that could be clues to your strengths.

Source:

2. Notice your emotions and "flow" states.

When do you get happily lost in whatever you are doing? Flow states are a clue to what is satisfying to your true self. Positive feeling states like love, joy, and contentment can also contain clues.

Even negative emotions can help you out in your quest for self-knowledge. At times, emotions like anger , sadness, and fear can tell you what you may need to confront, accept, or change in your life. At other times, these same emotions might hint at people, places, or things you need to minimize or avoid to maintain your selfhood and sanity.

3. Notice what you are thinking.

Yes, mindfulness . Of course, you can meditate in order to observe the contents of your mind. But you can also just be mindful of the thoughts that arise on a minute-by-minute basis. These thoughts can guide you toward a better understanding of yourself. For example, your friend persuades you to buy a particular dress; this purchase sparks regret, not joy, because you wish you’d saved the money. Now you realize that at this moment you value savings over more possessions. A VITAL sign?

4. Become friends with your mistakes.

Learning to be yourself is easier when you develop a growth mindset —the ability to see a hard problem as a challenge rather than a stress . When you don’t have to be perfect, you can accept your mistakes, recognize that your missteps could lead to a potential learning experience, and figure out what you could do differently the next time.

Even outright failure, while painful, can be a spur to new directions. Terry Gross , the revered NPR host of “Fresh Air,” started out as an eighth grade teacher in an inner-city public school in 1972. She couldn’t control the class and was fired after six weeks. Think of all the wonderful interviews the public would have missed had she stayed—unhappily—in teaching!

Source: Pixabay

5. Keep a journal or take time to reflect.

Keep a journal of the moments that might be clues to your identity . I love the now-classic “Three Good Things” exercise: At day’s end, think of three good things that you did, or that happened to you, during the day. Research indicates that this activity will increase your happiness quotient, as well as strengthen your “ gratitude attitude.” But it can also highlight moments that gave you a measure of satisfaction or self-confidence, and those moments could be clues to your VITAL signs. Example: You are playing with your niece and notice that you handled several tricky situations well. Clue?

essay about how you know your actual self

6. Listen to other people, but make and live by your own decisions.

Assuming you are an adult, with an adult’s complicated life, only you know what is best for you in the long run. When you make your own decisions—however they turn out, you pave the way for self-knowledge. Develop a healthy suspicion of “shoulds.” What do you want ?

7. Talk to a therapist or counselor.

In your search for self, you may get blocked by various barriers, both internal and external. (I’ll write more about these in an upcoming blog.) A therapist or career counselor can help remove these barriers and/or help you explore new paths and grow in new directions.

8. Try personality and temperament tests.

While best done under a mental health professional’s supervision, you can also find versions of well-researched personality and temperament tests on the Internet. Although I haven’t tested out these free versions myself, you might find them helpful … as long as you take them with a few grains of salt:

Career builder The Myers-Briggs Temperament Indicator (MBTI) Holland Code Career Test

Caution 1: Some tests on the Internet lack scientific validity. Watch out! Caution 2: Remember, no test is the final authority on you. You are!

9. Practice assertiveness .

You may know yourself, but can you be yourself? When you express your feelings, wants, needs, and opinions in a direct, honest, and appropriate way, you are being assertive. You are also strengthening your sense of self. Example: Your spouse is critical of something you did and yells at you. You reply, “Don’t speak to me that way. If there’s something wrong, I’ll talk about it--but without the yelling.” Now you know: Being treated with respect is important to you. You can defend yourself.

10. Surround yourself with good people who accept you and foster your growth.

Some friends and relatives help you become your best self, while others thwart your self-expression and self-discovery. While you can probably learn something from all of them, you may find that your path is easier when most of the people you associate with have your best interests at heart and leave you free to follow your own star.

Some people think there’s no such thing as a “true self.” I disagree. When your outer life and actions are congruent with your inner VITAL Signs, you experience a strong and distinct sense of self. Life becomes more exciting and vibrant.

But it IS true that we evolve over time, and your true self is constantly evolving, expanding, and contracting, again and again. Knowing yourself is a dynamic process, not a static one. Your true self is less like a snapshot and more like a video.

What experiences, books, ideas, and people have helped you “find yourself"?

© Meg Selig, 2016. All rights reserved.

If you benefited from this post, you might also enjoy these:

  • "Know Yourself? 6 Specific Ways to Know Who You Are"
  • "The Assertiveness Habit"
  • Living With Integrity (Cynthia Kane)

For more on habits, health, and happiness, scroll down to my photo below and follow me on Facebook , Twitter, or LinkedIn.

Meg Selig

Meg Selig is the author of Changepower! 37 Secrets to Habit Change Success .

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The Makeup and Theories of Self Concept

essay about how you know your actual self

How people perceive you defines you in their eyes, but how you perceive yourself — something known as self-concept — may define your persona and how you develop.

Deconstructed facial features of a woman

What makes you “you” has a lot to do with how you see yourself. If you consider yourself to be a kind person, for example, that can become a key component of your personal identity.

“I’m kind” is something you believe about yourself. It’s a part of your self-concept.

What is self-concept?

Self-concept is what you believe defines you as a person. It answers the question: “Who am I?”

In psychology, many theories on self-concept exist, but most of them parallel the notion that self-concept is a critical component of identity development .

Self-concept involves everything about you, from your moral stance and everyday behaviors to your recreational talents and political beliefs.

According to research published in 2020 that discusses the self-concept theory proposed by William D. Brooks and Philip Emmert in 1976, your self-concept may be primarily positive or negative and predisposes you to certain thoughts or behaviors.

Positive self-concept examples

  • believe you can make a difference
  • feel on par with others
  • receive compliments without shame
  • understand everyone has certain feelings or behaviors that may not be fully socially acceptable
  • have a willingness and readiness to work on yourself and resolve unhelpful behaviors

Negative self-concept examples

  • be sensitive to criticism
  • be over-responsive to praise
  • feel disliked by others
  • assume everyone views themselves in the negative
  • tend to be hypocritical
  • offer extreme negative criticism toward others
  • encounter social interaction challenges and barriers
  • be reluctant to interact with others

Self-concept theories

The world of psychology is vast, and identity development has been a point of interest for decades.

As such, many theories on self-concept exist, some independently of others and some building off earlier works.

One of the most widely accepted frameworks of self-concept was developed by psychologist Carl Rogers, who believed self-concept could be broken down into three primary components.

What are the 3 parts of self-concept?

According to Rogers , the three core parts of self-concept are:

  • Ideal self: your vision and ambitions of who you want to be
  • Real self (self-image): how you currently see and perceive yourself
  • Self-esteem: how much worth and value you believe you have

Rogers believed how your ideal self and real self aligned was important to the development of your self-esteem.

If your ideal self did not match the reality of your real self, he suggested your self-concept was “incongruent,” and your self-esteem was likely to be negatively affected.

Real selves matching ideal selves was labeled as “congruent” and associated with positive self-esteem.

What are the four concepts of the self?

Within the framework for self-concept are coexisting theories, such as that of self-presentation, which suggests your self-concept influences how behavior can be a way to show others who you are.

In self-presentation theory , four concepts of the self exist:

  • Public self: your view of yourself as defined by other people’s public knowledge of you
  • Self-concept: who you believe you are
  • Actual or behavioral self: the self created by your actions and habits
  • Ideal self: the self you aspire to be

Self-categorization theory

In the 1980s and 1990s, John Turner, a social psychologist, proposed another self-concept principle known as self-categorization .

In his works, Turner felt two different levels of self-categorization existed:

  • Personal: your sense of self as an individual
  • Social: your sense of self as defined by the group you feel you belong to

Turner suggested self-concept was a combination of personal and social identities, and that people could define themselves on multiple levels based on their intrapersonal comparisons.

For example, as an individual, you may identify yourself as a strong athlete. However, as a member of a team, you may feel less confident as a performer if the team doesn’t do well.

Social identity concept vs. self-categorization concept

Social identity concept , pioneered by Henri Tajfel, a social psychologist, also investigates personal and social self-concept.

Unlike self-categorization, which involves self-placement in a group to which you feel you belong, social identity theory suggests you find meaning and consider it important to be a part of a specific group.

Self-categorization example: I’m Irish because I was born and live in Ireland.

Social identity example: I’m a member of my political party because I believe in what they stand for.

The looking glass self-concept

In 1902, Charles Cooley, a sociologist, introduced what was known as the looking glass theory , an extension of self-concept that suggested your sense of self was directly influenced by the perception of those around you.

For example, if you notice everyone laughs when you make a comment, you may start to define yourself as “funny.”

Sense of self can be an important part of maintaining your mental well-being .

In fact, older research from 2008 details how an unstable sense of self-identity is a symptom of bipolar disorder and can be for other mental health conditions, too.

Even if you feel as though you have a robust self-concept, there are resources available that can help you explore what self-concept really means to you.

The following resources may help guide you in self-concept development:

  • Discover Your Values
  • How to Know Yourself Better
  • How to Use Positive Affirmations for a Fulfilling Life
  • 30 Inspiring Quotes About Embracing Your True Self
  • Ready, Set, Journal! 64 Journaling Prompts for Self-Discovery

Last medically reviewed on April 12, 2022

11 sources collapsed

  • American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed.). Arlington, VA: American Psychiatric Publishing.
  • Ismail NKH, et al. (2015). Rediscovering Rogers’s self theory and personality. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/286456614_Rediscovering_Rogers's_Self_Theory_and_Personality
  • Baumeister RF, et al. (1986). Four selves, two motives, and a substitute process self-regulation model. https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-1-4613-9564-5_3
  • Baumeister RF, et al. (1987). Self-presentation theory: Self-construction and audience pleasing. https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-1-4612-4634-3_4
  • Fricke SA, et al. (2017). The looking glass self: The impact of explicit self-awareness on self-esteem. http://www.inquiriesjournal.com/articles/1711/the-looking-glass-self-the-impact-of-explicit-self-awareness-on-self-esteem
  • Inder ML, et al. (2008). "I actually don't know who I am": The impact of bipolar disorder on the development of self. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18573034/
  • Mehrad A. (2016). Mini literature review of self-concept. https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Aida-Mehrad/publication/315101634_Mini_Literature_Review_of_Self-Concept/links/58ca538c92851c4b5e6ff2e4/Mini-Literature-Review-of-Self-Concept.pdf
  • Tajfel H, et al. (2004). Chaper 16. The social identity theory of intergroup behavior. Political psychology. . https://www.taylorfrancis.com/chapters/edit/10.4324/9780203505984-16/social-identity-theory-intergroup-behavior-henri-tajfel-john-turner
  • Turner JC, et al. (1994). Self and collective: Cognition and social context. https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1995-13391-001
  • Turner JC, et al. (2011). Chapter 46: Self-categorization theory. Handbook of theories of social psychology. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/293162479_Self-categorization_theory
  • Verplanken B, et al. (2019). Habit and identity: Behavioral, cognitive, affective, and motivational facets of an integrated self. https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.01504/full

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How to Know Your True Self

Last Updated: April 12, 2024 Approved

This article was reviewed by Seth Hall . Seth T. Hall (ICF ACC, CLC, and MNLP) is a Certified Life Coach and Founder of Transformational Solutions, a Los Angeles-based life-coaching company that helps people achieve their toughest goals, find their own voice, and think outside the box. He has been a life coach for over 10 years, specializing in personal development, relationships, career and finance, and wellness. He has helped his clients break the negative cycles in their lives and replace them with a positive, proactive mindset. Seth believes that everyone has the potential to live a fulfilling and rewarding life, and works passionately to help them reach their full potential. With a deep understanding of how our minds work and the power of positive thinking, he encourages his clients to find their unique paths in life and find success on their own terms. He is a certified master practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, a featured co-author for WikiHow, and co-author of "The Mountain Method”, “The Happy Tiger”, and “The V.I.S.I.O.N.S. Program”. There are 39 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. wikiHow marks an article as reader-approved once it receives enough positive feedback. In this case, 84% of readers who voted found the article helpful, earning it our reader-approved status. This article has been viewed 62,657 times.

By its very nature, the Mind (conditioned thoughts and emotions in this context) is limited, as it only knows to label, analyze, conceptualize and fragment things, people and events through the eyes of past (mental conditioning) and knowledge. Thus it misses their essence entirely. Only when you step out of your mind can you see things and events holistically, and be aware or conscious of the sacred and timeless "Life" underneath all forms [1] X Research source Tolle, Eckhart. <i>The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment.</i> Vancouver, BC: Namaste Publishing, 1999. Page 134 . These words point to something that is beyond form; your true self . So don't just read with your mind, which only knows of content, the known, but pay attention to any feeling responses that arise from deep within. As reading with the mind (intellectually or via thinking) implies that you are seeking for the truth in words or content, where it cannot be found.

Knowing the Space

Step 1 Realize that you, in essence, are timeless space of consciousness or Knowing.

  • "Things arise and she lets them come; things disappear and she lets them go" Tao Te Ching .
  • Take the analogy of a room: a room is made up of walls, but it's the inner space that we use. Where people and things come and go, events occur and end, etc.
  • "We hammer wood for a house, but it is the inner space that makes it livable. We work with being, but non-being is what we use." Tao Te Ching.
  • Here's another signpost: Who is aware or knows of the forms that arise and disappear in your space of consciousness? Who's looking or aware of the thoughts, emotions, reactions and sensations in your body? Who experiences the environment you are in through sense perceptions? It's the ever-present 'I Am' or "knowing" or experiencer, without which there will be no experience.

Step 2 Recognize the transient nature of all forms, events and experiences.

  • No form or experience or event or condition lasts. Buddha made it a central part of his teaching. He called it anicca ; state of impermanence. Only the background, the ever-present awareness that is aware of the fleetingness of all forms, doesn't go through any change. You are that eternal awareness .
  • Once you truly see the transitory and unstable nature of all forms, relationships, events and experiences, you will not give them importance and significance that they don't have. Or put impossible demands on them to fulfill you, make you happy, feel safe or tell you who you are. World of forms, the drama or the play, cannot give you those things.
  • Suffering arises when you seek long lasting happiness, contentment and yourself in the world and mind.

Step 3 See that you are lost in mind and content.

  • "World is not there to make you happy but to make you conscious." Eckhart Tolle.
  • Wisdom is not a product of thought but arises from the formless dimension within. You will only lose yourself in content, world, endless doing and thinking (or analysis).
  • So doesn't matter how sharp and cultivated our minds are, how much knowledge we have, it’s ultimately going to be limited.

Step 4 Realize your essence as 'Emptiness'.

  • The Still depth that holds the infinite number of planets, stars, galaxies, etc. is also in you . As you are not some meaningless fragment in an alien, uncaring universe, briefly suspended between birth and death then ultimate annihilation [6] X Research source Tolle, Eckhart. <i>The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment.</i> Vancouver, BC: Namaste Publishing, 1999. Page 104 . Underneath your name and form, you are one with the infinity of God or 'One Consciousness' or Being . To get a glimpse of the 'space of awareness' or stillness within yourself, become aware of awareness and/or feel the inner body. Read Inhabit Your Inner Body More Deeply for a deeper insight on this.
  • "There was something formless and perfect before the universe was born. It is serene, empty, solitary, unchanging, infinite, eternally present... It is the mother of the universe." Tao Te Ching.

Step 5 See the common pattern in all forms.

  • Consider the miracle of birth; it's the consciousness or the life that first appears in the womb and then human form begins to develop. Your body grows stronger with time and as it grows old, it becomes weak, frail, dies, turns to dust, and then nothing at all. You go back to where you came from, just a few years ago. Does it seem similar to universe and the objects in it?
  • Can you also see the same pattern in breathing? Inhaling (expansion) and exhaling (contraction).
  • All "things" and phenomena intrinsically follow the same pattern, expansion (growth) and contraction (decay), because they are bound to the law of impermanence. [8] X Research source Tolle, Eckhart. <i>The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment.</i> Vancouver, BC: Namaste Publishing, 1999. Page 86 . So why seek yourself in mind (thoughts) and transient forms, and give them importance or significance that they don't have?

Step 6 Know your essence.

  • It's the illusion created by limited view of our sense perceptions and thinking that makes the things, people and events (dance of different frequencies) seem rigid, serious and separate. [11] X Research source Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle, Pg 79 . With fear and desire being inevitable consequences of this ethereal illusion.
  • Space consciousness. Most people pay attention to the forms and objects in the space , but who pays attention to the space itself? The infinite and eternal Emptiness that is the essence of all there is and the life that contains and enables all forms to be. [12] X Research source Tolle, Eckhart. <i>The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment.</i> Vancouver, BC: Namaste Publishing, 1999. Page 67 Perhaps space is not interesting and the mind, which only knows of content, the known, looks for interesting 'things'. Even when it looks for space, it makes the endless nothingness into an object or something filled with matter because idea or concept of forms(which are ultimately thoughts) is all it knows [13] X Research source Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle, Pg 136 .
  • Analogy: if everything around you was green, then there would be no green. There needs to be another color so that 'green' can stand out. Similarly, if there were no objects in space then there would be no space. It would be emptiness or nothingness . There need to be at least two reference points in space to measure distance, so an object can stand out. [14] X Research source Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle, Pg 136 . Hence, there must be something 'unfleeting' or unchanging in order to recognize the fleetingness of all forms. Otherwise it would not be [15] X Research source Stillness Speaks, Eckhart Tolle, Pg 34 .
  • “Yet mystery and manifestations arise from the same source. This source is called darkness. Darkness within darkness. The gateway to all understanding.” Tao Te Ching.

Step 7 Die before you die.

  • Realizing yourself as the formless awareness behind the content of your mind and abiding in that state is 'dying before you die' or death or 'end of suffering' or enlightenment. It's because awareness is timeless and unchanging. Your essential nature. So even if all forms around you (including your body, relationships, things you have etc.) grow weak or change or disappear, your conscious presence remains unchanged. Once you see this truth, you realize that there is no death, but just a form dissolving. Why do people who have been through ‘near-death experience’ lose the fear of death? It's the journey home. Meditate upon this.
  • "There's something in you that remains unchanging despite the transient circumstances in your life. That's the life that you are." Eckhart Tolle.
  • "The Master gives himself up to whatever the moment brings. He knows that he is going to die, and he has nothing left to hold on to: no illusions in his mind, no resistances in his body." Tao Te Ching.
  • Your body and forms (psychological, personality, relationships, titles, objects, skills, knowledge, stories, things etc.) that you identify with, can dissolve at any time. This is a deep and humbling realization that leaves little room for the ego. [18] X Research source Stillness Speaks, Eckhart Tolle, Pg 112 . Death will be painful as long as you cling to the illusion. That is to say, as long as you identify with forms and seek yourself in them. This doesn't mean to not have things, not use mind and body, look for relationships, enjoy experiences and pleasures of this world etc. We need to honor and appreciate the world of forms and not despise it. Realizing at the same time that no possession, thing, pleasure, relationship or experience of this world can give you long lasting fulfillment or happiness.
  • Relinquishing identification or attachment with forms means to deeply realize that seeking fulfillment, happiness and yourself in the mind and world of forms lies at the root of suffering. Also, seeking is the antithesis of happiness.

Step 8 Realize that the world is a reflection  of your inner state.

  • The inner equivalent of external noise and pollution is the incessant, compulsive and often negative activity of thoughts, reactions and emotions in you.
  • Once you see this with clarity, you start taking responsibility of your inner self. That is to say, you don't pollute your inner space with negativity. That's when external reality naturally transforms without any doing on your part because world is just a collective reflection of inner states. This is the miracle of |surrender .
  • Eckhart Tolle — "If you get the inside right, the outside will fall into place. Primary reality is within; secondary reality without."

Step 9 Abide in inner space.

  • Can you feel the inner energy field or alive 'spaciousness' of your body? Energy field of your hands, legs, hips, pelvis region, abdomen, shoulders, neck, face, head and so on. That's the formless life you are that animates, runs and sustains your incredibly complex body.
  • Can you be aware of awareness that enables the content in the foreground to be?
  • These questions and practices help create gaps between incessant Egoic thinking , thus making way for sacred and formless presence to shine through.
  • When you are in touch with inner space, that is essentially you, you are connected with something so vast, joyous, immeasurable and sacred that world, mind and events become insignificant in comparison to it. [19] X Research source A New Earth, Eckhart Tolle, Pg 22 . A playfulness arises. And it's not a selfish but selfless state.
  • "If you don't realize the source, you stumble in confusion and sorrow. When you realize where you come from, you naturally become tolerant, disinterested, amused, kindhearted as a grandmother, dignified as a king." Tao Te Ching .
  • So be aware of the inner space as much as you can. In other words, be aware of your inner body and awareness because that’s who you are in essence. It is highly recommended that you read Stay Rooted in Being for more depth on this.

Dissolving the Ego

Step 1 Recognize and dissolve the Ego.

  • To know who you are in essence, Ego needs to be dissolved i.e. you need to dis-identify from your mind. Which is not a doing but an alert seeing . As seeing is freeing yourself from the dysfunction of mind. It’s because seeing is a new dimension of consciousness that is not part of thinking. It is highly recommended that you read Dissolve the Ego (According to Eckhart Tolle's Teachings) for more depth.
  • "When you recognize illusion as illusion, it dissolves" Eckhart Tolle.

Recognize the illusion

Step 1 Recognize the dreamlike quality of human existence.

  • Try this: recall something that you did or experienced in reality. Now recall something you did or experienced in a dream. When you recalled both of the scenarios, did you notice any difference in the way the images and/or sounds from the memory appeared? Most probably not. Contextually they were both the same. Some images and sounds, which are thoughts [23] X Research source A New Earth, Eckhart Tolle, Pg 292 [24] X Research source A New Earth, Eckhart Tolle, Pg 113 . Were they ever real?
  • Similarly, for a dying person, their whole life seems as if it was a dream. Just like images and objects in a dream disappear, similarly in reality, objects, people and experiences disappear as if they had never been. All you are left with is a memory of them. And even memory, which arises as a thought form, fades and disappears. Even if you have pictures and videos of the memories, you likely may not remember if you really took the pictures or were really in them.
  • Again, suffering arises when you seek yourself and/or long-lasting fulfillment in fleeting things, thoughts, relationships and circumstances, which they can't provide. If you didn't realize this, you will be condemned to chase after transient things, sensory or sexual pleasures, relationships, and experiences, one after another, with an unconscious expectation that they will provide you long lasting fulfillment.
  • Have you noticed that normal ups and downs in a dream do not affect you that much and keep you asleep? However, it's the nightmare that has the potential to wake you up. Similarly in 'reality', it's the normal ups and downs that keep you in the grip of ego (dream of form) but when you face a limit situation or deep loss such as disability, death of a loved one or your own impending death, major illness, failure or rejection, meaninglessness etc. and the world doesn't make sense anymore, you go through a living nightmare. That's when one has a stronger motivation to wake up or get out of it [25] X Research source Tolle, Eckhart. <i>The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment.</i> Vancouver, BC: Namaste Publishing, 1999. Page 218,225 . That's why suffering has a noble purpose, as it has potential to crack open the shell of the ego by forcing you to surrender and wake up from the 'dream of matter' i.e dream of mind. This is also one of the reasons why most enlightened people on our planet once had a dense and heavy pain body .
  • Space of awareness. What you are experiencing right now through sense perceptions is the projection of the subjective external world, the dance of atoms and molecules, in your space of consciousness . [26] X Research source A New Earth, Eckhart Tolle, Pg 292 . It's an illusion that what you are experiencing is 'outside' or separate from you. Doesn't make sense? While you are dreaming your mind populates the 'space of consciousness', the substratum, with content, smell, touch, sounds, people, environment, etc. Like a screen that gets populated by a projector. This projection is a reflection of your inner state. Similarly, 'in reality', it's the projection of the subjective external world through limited view of sense perceptions that populates your space of consciousness . In unenlightened state, you see and act on the reality through conditioned mind , voice of the past, which has a compulsive need to react, conceptualize, fragment, resist, analyze and label 'what is'. Plus, content is all you know as formless dimension becomes completely obscured.
  • There's a unity between the observer (you) and the observed (world) [27] X Research source Tolle, Eckhart. <i>The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment.</i> Vancouver, BC: Namaste Publishing, 1999. Page 166 . Your 'state of consciousness' determines how you perceive and act on the world, and what kind of situations, things and people you attract. For example: If you believe that the world is a cold-hearted place, then that belief or paradigm, based on mental conditioning, will be reflected all around you and you will attract more situations and people like that. In addition, you will have a very selective perception i.e you will see only those parts, events and people that will confirm your belief. Like when you see through a green lens, things around seem green.
  • This is also one of the most important scientific breakthroughs from 20th century which says that the observing consciousness is not separate from observed phenomenon. A different way of looking makes the same phenomenon to behave differently. [28] X Research source

Step 2 See the relative and absolute truth.

  • How can you realize the totality then? Or how to see things holistically? By stepping out of your mind. That is to say, by perceiving through inner space or knowing or awareness to realize that you are one with the totality. Read Inhabit Your Inner Body More Deeply for more.
  • This is the feeling of inner space that Einstein pointed to when he said "The scientist's religious 'feeling' takes the form of a rapturous amazement at the harmony of natural laws, which reveals an intelligence of such superiority that in comparison with it all systematic thinking of human being is an utterly insignificant reflection. This feeling is the guiding principle of my work".
  • When the world is not perceived through inner-space, it is seen as a threatening place. People in particular.

Inhabiting the Present Moment

Step 1 See the illusion of time.

  • Research has proven that 2-to-3-year old children can identify the time as 'now' or 'not now' [31] X Research source but as their Ego grows in this ego-driven world, that is to say as their ego identifies with their growing form, more things and stories("good" or "bad" or "neutral"), knowledge etc., they become more lost in the world, the “known”, and psychological time i.e useless, negative, worrisome, repetitive and compulsive thoughts about content, people, world, past and future. Thus get farther from their true self that is always here and Now.
  • Have you heard people or yourself say something like "the day I achieve that I will be at peace and my future will be secure"? That day usually never comes. It's a mind-made delusion which says happiness and/or peace lie in the future, but of course, future comes as present moment and whatever happened in the past, happened in the present moment. [32] X Research source Tolle, Eckhart. "A new Earth."Vancouver,BC:Penguin, 2005. Page 45,124 Consider this, even if you are thinking about past or future, they are no more than thoughts and emotions that you, the experiencer, are experiencing in the Now .
  • “Time isn’t precious at all, because it is an illusion. What you perceive as precious is not time but the one point that is out of time: the Now. That is precious indeed. The more you are focused on time—past and future—the more you miss the Now, the most precious thing there is.” Eckhart Tolle.
  • Even if you achieved what you intended to, it will not give you a long-lasting fulfillment or satisfaction, and there will still be a void because dissatisfaction, desire, resistance etc. are in the very structure of ego.
  • "Ego wants to want more than it wants to have." Eckhart Tolle.
  • So no possessions, achievements, pleasures, experiences or relationship can satisfy it, except temporarily. We spoke about this earlier. Then you would be really in trouble as you won't be able to delude yourself that achieving goals, pleasures, relationships, possessions and so on will fulfill you. Even if you could, it will become harder and harder. [33] X Research source Tolle, Eckhart. <i>The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment.</i> Vancouver, BC: Namaste Publishing, 1999. Page 46
  • "I have seen everything that is done under the sun, and behold, all is vanity and a striving after wind." ‎Ecclesiastes 1:14.
  • However, even feeling frustration after repetitive cycles of achievement and failure, pain and pleasure, high and low etc. is part of divine game, the leela . As it has the potential to force you to surrender and realize that no experience, relationship, pleasure or possession can satisfy you, except temporarily. So you don't blindly chase after them with an unconscious expectation that they will fulfill you or relieve you of the background unease that is part of collective human condition.
  • "If you want to get rid of something, allow it to flourish." Tao Te Ching

Step 2 Realize deeply that you don't need time or effort to be who you are in essence.

  • "Enter the Now, from there" Eckhart Tolle.
  • That's why it is said that you cannot make spiritual awakening or 'end of suffering' a future goal or all you will get is further suffering and frustration. As it will always seem that you never are there.
  • This truth is realized first hand or not at all. No one can realize it for you.

Step 3 Feel the space inside and outside.

  • Meditate upon this by closing your eyes. Can you feel that your body is alive and spacious?
  • Can you realize that fleeting events, world, people, sense perceptions, physical sensations, thoughts and emotions are no more than the dance of energy arising and disappearing in your space of consciousness ? [35] X Research source Stillness Speaks, Eckhart Tolle, Pg 109 Just like infinite number of fleeting planets, stars, galaxies etc. arising, floating and disappearing into the vast emptiness of space.
  • Can you realize that body is an incredible misperception of your true reality [36] X Research source Tolle, Eckhart. "A new Earth."Vancouver,BC:Penguin, 2005. Page 241,276 and all that there is is vibrantly alive and peaceful space ?

Taking the next step into the evolution of consciousness

Step 1 Take the next step into the evolution of consciousness.

  • We are talking about a quantum leap of consciousness; from thinking to awareness. [37] X Research source Tolle, Eckhart. "A new Earth."Vancouver,BC:Penguin, 2005. Page 100 As once you truly see the madness and resistive nature of human mind that treats the present moment as an enemy or obstacle, which is the primary cause of suffering, and surrender to what is, then a higher intelligence emerges through you. Far more intelligent than the human mind. Along the intelligence comes joy and peace of One consciousness . Jesus's saying "And the peace of God that bypasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds." points to this truth.
  • However, you will not surrender or accept unless you truly had enough of suffering and/or see the dysfunctional nature of mind and/or realize that you are not your mind and/or have complete faith in the Life within and/or realize that world is not here to provide you long lasting happiness or fulfillment but to make you conscious.
  • Voluntary surrender or conscious choice to step out of the egoic mind is like a shortcut that saves time, as you wouldn't have to go through the phase of pain and suffering, to become conscious [38] X Research source A New Earth, Eckhart Tolle, Pg 164 . Which is also called as 'way of the cross' in Christianity. However, do not doubt its efficacy; it still works. [39] X Research source Tolle, Eckhart. <i>The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment.</i> Vancouver, BC: Namaste Publishing, 1999. Page 105 . Suffering is necessary until you realize that it is not necessary.
  • Spiritual dimension has traditionally arisen in one's life not when something was added to them but when something was taken away in form of deep loss (like loss of job, privilege, status, skill, ability, assets, looks, wealth, relationship etc.), suffering, old age, rejection, accident, death, failure, illness, etc.
  • However, there's growing number of people today who no longer need pain, loss and suffering to awaken, as they are embracing the new state of consciousness, Being , voluntarily.

Knowing Your Primary Purpose

Step 1 Know your primary purpose.

  • How to reconnect with your true self? By realizing your formless essence, disguised as a person. You don't have to look outside but look within. This is how close you are to the infinite and eternal presence of God or One Consciousness . And now is the only point of access to it. You access it now , or not at all. Read Dissolve the Ego (According to Eckhart Tolle's Teachings) for more depth. It is only at this point can you feel true oneness and make a real contribution to the world at the level of cause. It's because only those who have transcended the world can bring about a better world. [41] X Research source Tolle, Eckhart. <i>The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment.</i> Vancouver, BC: Namaste Publishing, 1999. Page 134
  • "For the creation (universe) waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed." Romans 8:19. What does 'children of God to be revealed' mean? Consciousness becoming conscious of itself. That is to say, you becoming aware of your own essence or holiness or divinity. Whatever you want to call it, it still cannot be named and is infinitely more than these words (content), which are only pointers.
  • Tao Te Ching pointed to the same truth "The Tao (consciousness) that can be told is not the eternal Tao . The name that can be named is not the eternal name. The unnameable is eternally real. Naming is the origin of all particular things".
  • Once you realize your primary purpose, external purpose becomes just a game that you may continue to play and honor because you enjoy it. That is to say, you no longer have the delusional expectation that achieving goals, higher titles, success, acquiring possessions, experiences, pleasures, relationships etc. will provide you long lasting fulfillment or make you feel complete.

Step 2 Realize that these words are just pointers or signposts.

  • You can talk about these pointers, teach others, write about being spiritual, believe in them or not etc., it would make no difference in your life unless you realize or 'live' the reality of formless and timeless consciousness or “Now” to which they point. Discovering and abiding in the state of Being is your primary purpose. As the spiritual dimension is meant to be lived. Missing this purpose of human existence is sin . Which is the original meaning of the word sin i.e to miss the mark.

How Can You Get To Know Yourself Better?

Expert Q&A

  • Even if it's noisy, you can still be aware of the underlying silence or stillness that enables the sounds in the foreground to be [43] X Research source Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle, Pg 67 . Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
  • You are Not your thoughts, reactions, sense perceptions, sensations(tension, physical reactions etc.) and emotions but the one who witnesses them. Read Dissolve the Ego (According to Eckhart Tolle's Teachings) for more depth. This revolutionary realization brings you out of habitual conditioned mental-emotional patterns and karmic wheel that have kept humans bondage to suffering for eons [44] X Research source Tolle, Eckhart. "A new Earth."Vancouver,BC:Penguin, 2005. Page 19 . In other words, it's the awakening of consciousness from the dream of matter (form). Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
  • A mere belief that you are formless and timeless consciousness , which may be comforting, doesn't liberate you. You need to feel or know or realize it to be true. When every cell in your body is intensely alive and present, then it can be said you are free of psychological time (painful conditioned thoughts, resistance and emotions about past and future). Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0

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  • ↑ Tolle, Eckhart. The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment. Vancouver, BC: Namaste Publishing, 1999. Page 134
  • ↑ Tolle, Eckhart. "A new Earth."Vancouver,BC:Penguin, 2005. Page 80,60
  • ↑ Tolle, Eckhart. "A new Earth."Vancouver,BC:Penguin, 2005. Page 227-239
  • ↑ Tolle, Eckhart. "A new Earth."Vancouver,BC:Penguin, 2005. Page 292,293, 243
  • ↑ Tolle, Eckhart. The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment. Vancouver, BC: Namaste Publishing, 1999. Page 68
  • ↑ Tolle, Eckhart. The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment. Vancouver, BC: Namaste Publishing, 1999. Page 104
  • ↑ http://www.bbc.com/earth/story/20150602-how-will-the-universe-end
  • ↑ Tolle, Eckhart. The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment. Vancouver, BC: Namaste Publishing, 1999. Page 86
  • ↑ http://education.jlab.org/qa/atomicstructure_10.html
  • ↑ Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle, Pg 83
  • ↑ Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle, Pg 79
  • ↑ Tolle, Eckhart. The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment. Vancouver, BC: Namaste Publishing, 1999. Page 67
  • ↑ Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle, Pg 136
  • ↑ Stillness Speaks, Eckhart Tolle, Pg 34
  • ↑ Stillness Speaks, Eckhart Tolle, Pg 107-109
  • ↑ Stillness Speaks, Eckhart Tolle, Pg 109
  • ↑ Stillness Speaks, Eckhart Tolle, Pg 112
  • ↑ A New Earth, Eckhart Tolle, Pg 22
  • ↑ A New Earth, Eckhart Tolle, Pg 105
  • ↑ Tolle, Eckhart. "A new Earth."Vancouver,BC:Penguin, 2005. Page 292, 291
  • ↑ Tolle, Eckhart. The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment. Vancouver, BC: Namaste Publishing, 1999. Page 61
  • ↑ A New Earth, Eckhart Tolle, Pg 292
  • ↑ A New Earth, Eckhart Tolle, Pg 113
  • ↑ Tolle, Eckhart. The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment. Vancouver, BC: Namaste Publishing, 1999. Page 218,225
  • ↑ Tolle, Eckhart. The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment. Vancouver, BC: Namaste Publishing, 1999. Page 166
  • ↑ https://www.scienceabc.com/pure-sciences/observer-effect-quantum-mechanics.html
  • ↑ Krishnamurti, Jiddu. Krishnamurti's Notebook. UK: Gollancz (UK) Harper & Row (US), 1982. Page 14,87
  • ↑ Tolle, Eckhart. The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment. Vancouver, BC: Namaste Publishing, 1999. Page 105
  • ↑ https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.688165/full
  • ↑ Tolle, Eckhart. "A new Earth."Vancouver,BC:Penguin, 2005. Page 45,124
  • ↑ Tolle, Eckhart. The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment. Vancouver, BC: Namaste Publishing, 1999. Page 46
  • ↑ Tolle, Eckhart. "A new Earth."Vancouver,BC:Penguin, 2005. Page 71,104
  • ↑ Tolle, Eckhart. "A new Earth."Vancouver,BC:Penguin, 2005. Page 241,276
  • ↑ Tolle, Eckhart. "A new Earth."Vancouver,BC:Penguin, 2005. Page 100
  • ↑ A New Earth, Eckhart Tolle, Pg 164
  • ↑ , Tolle, Eckhart. "A new Earth."Vancouver, BC: Penguin, 2005. Page 264, 265
  • ↑ Tolle, Eckhart. "A new Earth."Vancouver, BC: Penguin, 2005. Page 251
  • ↑ Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle, Pg 67
  • ↑ Tolle, Eckhart. "A new Earth."Vancouver,BC:Penguin, 2005. Page 19

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Getting to Know Yourself Essay Example

Getting to know yourself is a hard task to do in the world we live in today. Although being able to know yourself will strengthen you as a person, the act of looking inwards and evaluating yourself and actions and finding out the reasons behind those actions can be tough. Some people don’t want to do that out of fear that they are wrong in some way. Fear can play a huge role in finding out who you are as a person. Some people don’t want to go and find out whether or not they like something out of some kind of fear. 

Everyone has fear, whether it is stage fright, fear of heights, or even fear itself; everyone is afraid of something. That fear can hold people back from doing things that they will actually enjoy. J.D. Moyer wrote in “Getting to Know Yourself, Finally,” “Some ten-year-olds know, unwaveringly, exactly who they are and what they want to do in life. Other people die old and regretful, always living other people’s agendas and never grabbing what they wanted out of life for themselves.” When I read that, I asked myself why people never grab what they want out of life. My only conclusion was that it must be out of fear. For example, some people want to become doctors, but they are afraid of failing and having nothing else to do if they fail, so they just pick an easier occupation. 

Another fear that is almost universal to everyone that some probably do not know they have is the fear of finding out who they truly are. I think that everyone is afraid that they are not a good person and that by looking inwards and shining that spotlight onto their personality in order to find out, they might find several things that they do not want to see. Some people overcome this fear and seek therapy in order to help shine that light, but others just do not want to bother and go on thinking that they are a good person. 

Getting to know yourself is not an easy task. There are a lot of obstacles that you may have to jump through, one of them being your own fears. Fears play a huge role in being able to find out who you truly are. Some people die never knowing who they truly are and never grabbing what they really want out of life because they are too scared to do so. Some people are just too scared to actually find out who they are out of fear of what that answer is.

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Actual Self Examples: What Does Your True Self Look Like?

Ever wonder who you really are deep down inside? Not the person you pretend to be at work or the image you curate for your social media profiles, but your true self; the person you are when no one's watching. The thoughts, feelings, desires, and quirks that make you uniquely you Your actual self is the foundation of your identity, the bedrock on which you build your life, relationships, and purpose. Yet for many of us, our true selves remain a mystery, hidden behind layers of expectations and obligations.

essay about how you know your actual self

Sanju Pradeepa

Actual self examples

As human beings, we all have the tendency to present a version of ourselves to the world that may not always align with who we truly are. Here is where the concept of the actual self comes into play. The actual self examples refers to the real version of ourselves, the one that may not always be visible to others. It is the self that we may keep hidden due to fear of rejection, shame, or societal norms. However, embracing and accepting our actual selves can lead to a more fulfilling and authentic life.

Understanding who we are as individuals can be a challenging task, but it is an essential step in personal growth and development . The journey of self-discovery can be a long and winding road, but it is an opportunity to gain insight into our true selves, including our strengths and weaknesses.

This article explores what it means to connect with your authentic self and provides some tips for peeling back the layers to reveal who you really are. The journey may not always be easy, but discovering your true self is worth the effort. After all, you can’t become your best self until you know who that is. We help you by providing some ‘Actual Self Examples’ to make your journey a little bit easier.

So find a quiet place, turn your phone off, and ask yourself: “What does your true self really look like? You might be surprised by the answer.

Table of Contents

What is your actual self vs your ideal self.

Your true self is who you really are your core values, beliefs, and personality. Your ideal self is who you aspire to be; it’s the image you have of your best self. The closer these two selves are, the happier and more authentic you’ll feel.

The gap between your true and ideal selves often comes from:

  • Negative self-talk. The voice inside your head can be cruel, constantly criticizing you for your flaws and imperfections. But you are so much more than your perceived faults. Focus on your good qualities and all the things you like about yourself.
  • Unrealistic expectations. Maybe you think you need to be perfect or always pleasing others to be worthy of love. The truth is, you’re enough as you are. Learn to accept yourself, flaws, and all.
  • Lack of self-awareness. Spend time reflecting on what really matters to you and makes you feel alive. Pursue hobbies and interests that align with your values. Surround yourself with people who appreciate you for who you are.
  • Fear of judgment. Do you feel pressure to act a certain way to gain others’ approval? Give yourself permission to be authentic. Those who truly care about you will respect you for it.

The more you practice self-love and acceptance, the closer you’ll get to becoming your true self. Make choices that honor your core values and needs. Do small things each day that boost your confidence from within. Learn to tune out self-doubt and focus on your inherent worth. With time and effort, you can achieve self-actualization and become your ideal self.

Read more – Ideal self vs Real self: Exploring the Clash of Identities

Actual Self Examples

The journey to your true self is challenging but rewarding. As the masks fall away, you’ll start to see your authentic identity emerge. And you’ll find that your real self is more than enough.

1. Removing the Masks You Wear

Removing the Masks You Wear

To find your true self, you have to take off the masks you wear for others. We all put on an act to some degree. Maybe at work, you have to be super professional; at home, you’re the peacekeeper; and with friends, you’re the comedian. But who are you really?

Start by identifying the different roles you play. Make a list of the masks you wear in various areas of your life. Then, think about which parts of those personas feel most authentic to who you are. Your true self is probably a blend of these different roles.

Next, examine what drains your energy and passion. The things that exhaust you are often tied to the masks you put on for others. Make an effort to limit or avoid these energy-sucking activities when you can. Spend more time on the things that ignite your spirit.

Also, listen to your inner voice. That whisper inside knows the truth about who you are. Pay attention to what it’s trying to tell you. It may be guiding you toward new opportunities to express your authentic self.

Finally, accept yourself. Learn to appreciate who you are, quirks, imperfections, and all.

Your true self isn't some ideal you have to chase. It's already within you

2. Loving yourself for who you are

To truly love yourself , you need to accept who you are, flaws, and all. This means embracing your true self, not an idealized version of who you think you should be.

Forgive yourself for past mistakes. Everyone stumbles and makes poor choices at some point. The healthiest thing you can do is accept that you’re imperfect, forgive yourself, and move on. Let go of feelings of guilt or regret over things you cannot change. Make peace with your past so you can live fully in the present.

3. Appreciating Your Uniqueness

Appreciating Your Uniqueness

No one else is exactly like you. You have a unique set of experiences, talents, perspectives, and quirks that make you, well, you. Learn to appreciate what makes you different rather than compare yourself to others. Focus on developing your natural gifts and the qualities that make you uniquely you.

4. Surrounding Yourself With People Who Love You

Spend less time with people who criticize you or make you feel like you need to change to win their approval. Instead, nurture relationships with people who love and accept you as you are. Their positivity and support can help strengthen your own self-love and confidence from the inside out.

5. Practicing self-care

Practicing self-care

Make sure to schedule time for yourself. Do things that you personally find meaningful and fulfilling. Your authentic self needs nurturing through adequate sleep, healthy food, exercise, and downtime. When you feel rested, balanced, and recharged, it’s easier to gain perspective on what matters to you.

6. Practicing self-acceptance and kindness

Practicing self-acceptance and kindness is key to developing a healthy self-image. When you accept yourself as you are, you can build confidence from a place of truth rather than seeking validation from external sources.

7. Being gentle with yourself

Being gentle with yourself

Speak to yourself with compassion. Notice negative self-talk and try to reframe it more kindly. For example, instead of “I’m so stupid for making that mistake,” try “I’m human, and humans make mistakes. I’ll learn from this and do better next time.” Give yourself the same caring support you’d offer a close friend.

8. Focusing on your strengths

Make a list of your best qualities, talents, and accomplishments. Refer to it when you’re feeling down to remind yourself of the good in you. Play to your strengths and pursue activities that make the most of your natural abilities. Stop comparing yourself to others who seem to have it all together. They have weaknesses and insecurities too, even if they are not apparent.

You are enough, just as you are

9. Accept imperfections.

Accept imperfections

Learn to appreciate yourself, flaws, and all. No one is perfect, so don’t demand perfection from yourself. Your worth isn’t defined by a lack of flaws or mistakes but by your inherent value as a human being. Focus on progress over perfection. As long as you’re learning and improving, you’re doing great.

Be patient with yourself and maintain a positive self-image by speaking to yourself with compassion, acknowledging your strengths, taking good care of yourself, and accepting your imperfections.

10. Embracing Your Authenticity

To embrace your authentic self, you first need to identify what that looks like. Your true self is the person you are at your core—your values, priorities, interests, and personality traits . It’s who you are when no one is watching and all pretense is stripped away.

11. Look Within

Look Within

The answers lie within you, not on social media or in the opinions of others. Spend time in quiet reflection, meditation, or journaling. What are your core values? What excites or interests you? What do you care most about? How do you act when you’re alone? These clues will help reveal your authentic self.

You are deserving of love, especially your own

12. Don’t seek approval.

Stop worrying so much about what others think of you. Their opinions do not define you . Do not let the desire for approval dictate how you live your life or the choices you make. Instead, focus on living in alignment with your values and priorities.

13. Being genuine

Being genuine

In your interactions and relationships, be open and honest. Share your actual thoughts and feelings, not what you think others want to hear. Say no when you need to. Set boundaries to protect your time and energy. Do small things each day that feeds your soul. All of this helps strengthen your connection to your authentic self.

Final Thought

Loving yourself is a journey, not a destination. But by accepting your true self, surrounding yourself with a strong support system, and making self-care a priority, you’ll be well on your way to becoming your own best friend. But by looking within, rejecting external approval, being genuine in your daily life, and practicing self-care, you’ll find your true self emerging more and more. Stay committed to this process of self-discovery, and learn to fully accept yourself for who you are.

  • Actual Self by Cristina Maroiu  &  Laurențiu P. Maricuțoiu published in Springer Link (https://link.springer.com/)
  • The Effect of Self-Discrepancy on Online Behavior: A Literature Review by Chuan Hu 1 ,  Rui Cao 1 ,  Jiao Huang 2*  and  Ying Wei 1 – part of the Research Topic – Perspectives in Human-Media Interaction 2022 published in Frontiers

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50, 100, 250, & 500 Words Essay on How Well Do You Know Yourself In English

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Table of Contents

Introduction

There’s always that New Age-y person in everyone’s life who says things like “If you don’t know yourself, you won’t live.” Or, “If you don’t know yourself, you can’t be authentic.” And you’re always like, “I know myself.” Then you get home and you wonder, “Why have I had three terrible relationships recently?” I wonder why I am so depressed nowadays? Why am I so desperate for video games? 

Why do you feel so uncomfortable and resistant to getting to know yourself better?

50 Words Essay on how well do you know yourself

We are constantly changing and molding as a result of every situation we face. There is no such thing as a complete understanding of oneself. It is not enough to live a whole, complete life. Our lives are always centered around knowing more about others than ourselves.

The way you live and who you are governed by nothing outside of yourself. Knowing yourself will make you realize how simple life can be and how much power you have over your own fate.

100 Words Essay on how well do you know yourself

It is always more important to know who you are than to know what others think of you. People with egos won’t get it; they won’t be able to see it through. In your superhero story, the ego is the evil villain that threatens self-awareness. Mindfulness practice, for example, allows us to rid ourselves of our egos and create peace in our lives.

Knowing ourselves gives us a better understanding of the world. As we grow up, we develop a sense of brotherhood and sisterhood for other people. By realizing that we are all infinite beings, we begin to see life in its true light. You can have the greatest weapon in your arsenal if you know yourself. When you know yourself truly, you gain confidence and strength.

Don’t let anyone or anything distract you from who you are.

250 Words Essay on how well do you know yourself

Taking a look at myself has led me to discover a few things about myself.

The first thing I do is to trust myself, my feelings, my actions, and my capabilities. The pride I feel in myself is overwhelming!

The second reason is that I like myself. It was a blessing to be born with four limbs, a flawless hearing system, and the gift of sight. My existence in this world is a blessing from God. It doesn’t matter what happens to me, I never lose faith in God. Perhaps it’s the reason you don’t feel discouraged in life. 

I am grateful for the people, most especially my friends, who have been there for me when I am in need. The love and support of my siblings have also been an invaluable inspiration throughout this lifelong journey for me. It couldn’t get any better than this, could it?

essay about how you know your actual self

I am trustworthy. I can proudly say that I am trustworthy even if I unconsciously reveal secrets occasionally. Whenever criticism or suggestions are made, I am open-minded. Accepting my mistakes and defects calmly, examining them, and weighing things accordingly helps me make wiser decisions. 

My pessimism sometimes gets the best of me. I don’t like it at all. Whenever I think about anything, I am a worrywart. It has dawned on me that I shouldn’t be worrying about nonsensical things, it won’t help. Getting discouraged won’t help.

Finally, I make mistakes unconsciously. The next step is regret. Considering these mistakes can be of significant help to self-improvement, as next time we will be careful not to repeat them.

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500 Words Essay on how well do you know yourself

Relationships with other people can take up a lot of our time as humans. The reality is that you only have one meaningful relationship in life: with yourself.

Throughout your entire life, only you travel with you. The cradle to the grave belongs to you alone. This isn’t meant to be morbid; I only want to highlight the importance of knowing yourself and developing a relationship with yourself.

Self-knowledge is significant for three reasons:

Loving yourself

Knowing oneself, positive and negative, can help one accept who they are – exactly as they are. Laziness, for example, may not seem like a positive characteristic, but accepting it may feel difficult.

Honoring that part of yourself instead of denying it is imperative if it is a part of you. Despite your denials, it still exists. Laziness can be embraced as part of who you are and loved when you learn to appreciate it, enjoy it, and don’t let it hinder you. In addition to love, you can nurture, grow, develop, flourish, and thrive.

Self-determination

When you know yourself, you are not influenced by other people’s opinions. There is no point in listening to other people’s opinions and advice if you know what works for you – what’s good for you and, hence, what’s not.

There is no expert like you when it comes to your own being. It is up to you to decide what thoughts you want to think and who you want to be.

It is also important to have self-awareness and independence in order to have confidence. It can help to boost your self-confidence to know who you are and what you stand for.

Decisiveness

The more knowledge you gain, the more insight and confidence you will have, and this can greatly aid your decision-making process (for simple choices as well as complex ones). As a result of the moment room’s insight, doubt is no longer a problem.

Heart language and head language are the two languages we speak. A decision can be made easier if they are aligned. Whether or not you decide to act depends on your mood and what you deem right or wrong.

When you find the house that ticks all your boxes in your head, you are in the process of buying it. The house seems strange, however. It doesn’t feel right to you for some reason.

It is impossible to be clear in your system when you have two different dialogues. You want to buy the house today because your head is in charge. Hopefully, tomorrow you’ll heed the warning of your heart not to proceed with the purchase. Making decisions will be easier when you align your head and heart.

Conclusion,

All that you need is within you if you know yourself. Every one of us has the power to change the world. There is a buried treasure within, just waiting to be uncovered.

100, 200, 250, & 400 Words Essay on Chandrashekhar Azad In English

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  • Goals In Life
  • My Best Friends
  • Person I Admire
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How Well Do I Know Myself?

How Well Do I Know Myself?

The author has reflected on their personal qualities and is grateful for the blessings they have received in life, including supportive parents and inspiring siblings. They trust themselves and others trust them, although they admit to being a worrywart at times. They are open to criticism and see mistakes as opportunities for self-improvement. Despite occasional pessimism and unconscious mistakes, the author remains positive and focused on growth.

I don’t know how to start but here are some things that I’ve found out about myself. First, I trust myself, my feelings, my deeds, and my abilities. I am proud to myself! Second, I like myself. I was born with four limbs, with complete hearing and blessed with eyes. Thanks God because I am here in this world. Ups and downs, I never lose my grip to God. It maybe is the cause for not being discouraged about life. I am thankful that He gave me parents who are unceasingly extending hands when I am in need and people, especially friends, who made me feel blessed with all life’s splendor.

I am also blessed with wonderful siblings who serve as inspirations for this life-long journey. What more could I ask for? People can trust me. Though there are times that I unconsciously burst out a secret, I can still proudly say that I am trustworthy. I am open-minded to criticism and suggestions. It makes me accept my mistakes and defects calmly, examine them and weigh things so as to make moves accordingly. I get so pessimistic at times.

It’s one of my worst enemies. I am a worrywart who tends to worry on everything. But I realized now that I shouldn’t be subjecting myself to nonsensical worrying, it will do no good. I’ll just get discouraged. Lastly, I unconsciously do the wrong things. Regret is what comes next. But if we learn to consider things, maybe those mistakes are of great importance in self-improvement; and so that next time we would do things just to avoid committing the same mistakes again.

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essay about how you know your actual self

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Personal Essay Examples About Yourself In 2023

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There are times where you want to prove yourself and write an essay about yourself. Well, we’ve got you covered! Check out the already written essays below and use them as a guide to writing your own!

Article structure

Essay About Myself Helps You To Establish Your Personality And Connect With An Audience

Describing yourself could be a challenging task, but when it comes to an assignment, you can’t skip it. So, are currently dealing with an essay that requires you to describe yourself? Are you finding it challenging to do so? If so, we are here to help. We understand how normal it is to go blank when asked about describing oneself. And, if you’re a student, the pressure to do so could be immense. It is because you know the reader would be marking your write-up rather than reading it for fun. The pressure to write better and follow the right structure can be overwhelming. It can end up making you freeze or feel you’re not good enough. However, the reality is otherwise. Here are a few things you can do to avoid being in that situation:

  • Brainstorm key information and personality traits or personal experiences that you would want to share.
  • Outline your essay before you start writing the draft.
  • Make sure your draft is divided into logical paragraphs that are well-connected.
  • Make sure your introduction is engaging enough to hook the reader.
  • Make sure you conclude your essay that wraps up everything you wrote in the body.
  • Make sure you have a unique voice in your writing by using the relevant vocabulary and letting the reader feel your feelings.

Following these simple steps will ensure you create an essay that leaves an impression.

Besides, if you’re confused about what to include in your personal essay, here are a few suggestions:

  • You can talk about your personality.
  • You can talk about your student life or personal life.
  • You can include specific experiences or incidents to back up your claims about your personality.

Short Essay Sample About Yourself

Still confused? Here is a short sample essay to help you grab the idea if you’ve been asked to describe yourself in an essay:

personal essay about yourself (short example)

Describing myself is one of the toughest tasks to do, but it’s fascinating too, to put it to words. I believe our traits – be they positive or negative – make us the person we are to the world. When it comes to my personality, people can have different opinions because they see what they want to see in me, and that’s okay. So, I would describe myself from the paradigm I see myself from in different aspects.

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As a person, I believe life is an art, and I am the artist of my life. I try to keep it full of colors and as cheerful as possible no matter what life throws at me. I am an enthusiast and a person full of curiosity. Curious to know what life is all about and what it holds in the future.

I like to keep a smile on my face no matter what I am going through, and that smile keeps me going. Besides, I was brought up in a multicultural community. Therefore, I am an extrovert, and I like to meet people, I love to experience their lives, cultures, and traditions, which makes me happy and cheerful.

Moreover, I am reliable but very short-tempered. I lose my calm if not understood properly. I get very irritated internally, but that doesn’t show in my behavior. However, I would like to change this character trait a little because my friends and dear ones often do not notice that I have some troubles. Thus, they do not offer help when I need it.

Good or bad, This is me, trying to contemplate the world as it is, revealing its true colors. I believe life is a gift, and it should be treated like one, with love, care, and respect.

Long Essay Example on “Describe Yourself “

Below is one more example to help you understand the idea of personal essays better.

describe yourself essay example

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“Tell something about yourself?” It could be one of the toughest questions when asked impulsively. However, people who like sharing their achievements and personal life with others may find it another opportunity to reveal their unique traits. But with me, the case is quite the opposite. Talking about myself has never been my thing. Yet, I would still try to describe myself in the best way I can. I would like to start with my background and then move to how I am as a student and then how I am inside and how the world sees me.

The first thing that I would like to write to introduce myself is that I am nothing but just a unique kind of ‘substance’ made up of hydrogen, carbon, nitrogen, and oxygen, trying to leave a positive mark in the world. In the effort to do so, I have been continuously changing qualitatively. Being an only child raised by a single mother, I have had quite a rough childhood. Giving up on my aspirations and wishes was a normal part of my life. Living with limited luxuries and growing up without a father and siblings has a massive role in my personality today. I know how it is like not to have someone to hear you out when you come back home after a terrible day at school. Hence, I always try to be an ear to my friends and make them feel better.

However, I never let my financial constraints and not-so-easy family life get in the way of my academic goals. On the contrary, I have always been keen to learn new things and achieve good grades. As a result, I successfully managed to land in my dream college, that too on scholarship. Getting into college on scholarship was one of my biggest dreams as well as a major goal. Besides, it gave me a chance to make my mother proud of me. Making her a proud mother has always been my dream, and I can’t be happier to achieve some aspect of that dream.

Lastly, I would like to tell you that I may seem like a bright student who is confident and arrogant. But, in actuality, it is the opposite. I am a person that has to deal with social anxiety every day, which means I have to struggle a lot to make new friends, attend social events, and give presentations. I never tend to initiate a conversation or say enough to keep the conversation going with many people I don’t know. This may give them the impression that I am an arrogant teen. But, from the inside, I am as humble as a dove. I can never say no to anyone, and I can never ignore someone who needs help. I am as fragile as glass. My confidence level can go to zero on one uncomfortable remark.

All in all, this is precisely who I am as a person. And, I believe my experiences and relationships with others have a great role in making me what I am today. After all, humans are social animals. So, no matter how introverted or timid I am, I still need real connections that help me experience life at its best.

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Essay on I Know the Real Me

In our lives there is only one person that we really need to learn how to be kind to, care for, rely on, be honest with, and just overall love and respect, and that person is our own self. Then with this knowledge we are capable of sharing all that we have learned with others and giving them the things we want in return. Yet if we never learn how to respect ourselves we end up not experiencing life to the fullest. When one does not know how to appreciate oneself they cannot truly be happy. They begin to get depressed and/or lead their own life to what, according to others, is the path they should take. My experiences only prove the above. From the beginning of my sixth grade to about the time I started high school , I led a life …show more content…

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I got bullied a lot so that kind of stopped people from wanting to talk to me in the first place. When they did they saw a weird anti-social kid that wasn’t fun to be around or maybe that’s how I see myself reflecting on everything. Can’t say much about that has changed though. When I did get friends I had a problem where I’d get overly attached to them; as a result you could’ve insulted me every day and I’d still call you my friend. I think it was my want for one with the fact I was really, really dense;consequently most of the people I met weren’t great people to be around and a lot had some sort of bad habits, I still always had a book with me as once again an escape from my at least how I saw it sad and boring life in

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Recently, I have experienced a change which has caused joy in my life. I made the decision to leave all my friends and everything

Personal Narrative: Back To Public School

After a month, I started to become someone I wasn't; making friends with the wrong people and group. They weren't even my friends, I was just another person that made the group bigger, I was invisible to them. Wanting to be like them, I pushed people away that wanted to be my friend because they weren’t “cool” enough. My “friends” became less and less friendly towards me until we stopped talking. Wandering the halls alone, I realized I needed to be myself and not act fake.

Personal Narrative: Private Christian School

Over the last 5 years I believe I have developed a more humble approach to life because of the lessons I learned through this experience. Now I treat others how I would like to be treated, and try not to react too quickly and get angered over little things. Coming into ninth grade at a new school, I had a clean slate and I was determined to keep it clean and I have. I had a couple of good friends at the new school and they welcomed me, and introduced me to their friends. I knew that if I made good friends and put them first and cared about them, that I would have true friends for

The Meaning of Respect Essay

Respect for yourself is very important to a person because it can be the balancing factor of your life. If a person has no respect for themselves the will most likely go into depression. Respecting yourself is also important for your self-esteem. Having a high self-esteem means that people

Personal Narrative: Death Of A Loved One

I did not want to attend church, I did not want to have family time, and all I wanted to do is be with my friends. It does not seem like a bad thing, but I chose the wrong friends to turn to. They were the friends that made it seem okay to drink, to push your feelings away and to feel absolutely nothing. For a couple of months this is what I thought would help me heal, and I was wrong. I had become a whole new person I became a person my friends seemed to like more than who I had been because I was actually wanting to have fun. It was this way until the end of November. In November I let someone into my life and they became my new best friend. It was so easy to trust them. I opened up and told them about the choices I made and the way I have changed. I despised the person I had become, but my friend helped me out of it.

Who Am I Am Essay

The question “who am I”? Can have a lot of individuals thinking about themselves, including myself because one might not know where to start. It is a very broad question, but having done the Strengths Finder 2.0 assessment, I realized more in depth what kind of person I really am based on my top 5 strengths. Who I am as a learner, who I am in my career and who I am as a person of faith lead me to answering the question above and understanding more of myself within.

Self Respect Essay

Respect others – If we have no respect for others, how can we have self-respect? Self-respect means we have inner confidence and inner assurance, this is not a confidence or assurance built on superiority. It is the wrong approach to try and feel better by putting others down. If we look for the good qualities in other people it is easier to remember the good qualities in ourselves.

Essay About Myself

School, to me and among many peers of my age, is not a distant term. I have spent one-third of my life time sitting in classrooms, every week since I was seven years old. After spending this much time in school, many things and experiences that happened there have left their mark in my memory. Some are small incidences while some have had a great impact on me. However, regardless the degree of significance, things that happened all contributed to shape the person that I am now.

There are three very important aspects that play a major rule in my life. They can be categorized as intellectual, social, and spiritual. My intellectual self is interesting because I am mainly right-brained which means that I tend to use my creativity more than my mathematical skills, also making me a visual learner. My social self consists of friends, family, and my surroundings. I spend most of my time at home with my family. Whenever I am with my friends, I observe their behaviors and listen to their opinions. I am more of an independent type of person. Being with different people has influenced me into appreciating different cultures and beliefs. I have learned things that have now been incorporated into my own set of beliefs and

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When asked to describe myself I never know what to say, but I should know myself the best, right?

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When I look in the mirror I know whom I am, but society makes it difficult to understand who I am, because I was born to immigrants of Nigerian descent, and I am a first generation American, that term is sometimes used so loosely. By looking at my name they assume that I am from some island, but I am so quick to tell them that “I am Nigerian”, there is another statement that normally follows this. “You do not have an accent”. I wonder if I had an accent would I be considered Nigerian and not American; then I say that “My parents are Nigerian” and then that changes, so to them I am just associated with the Nigerian culture it does not make me Nigerian, there has been many discussion between my friends who are the same like me confused to

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How to Answer “Tell Me About Yourself” in an Interview (Plus Examples!)

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By Stav Ziv

“Tell me about yourself” might seem like an easy win of an  interview question —after all, you know all about yourself! And good thing, too, because it’s often the very first thing an interviewer will ask you to do—whether you’re having a preliminary phone screen, speaking to your prospective boss, or sitting down with the CEO during the final round.”

Read the full article on The Muse: https://www.themuse.com/advice/tell-me-about-yourself-interview-question-answer-examples

What is Eid al-Fitr? What to know about the Muslim holiday at the end of Ramadan

essay about how you know your actual self

As Ramadan comes to an end, Muslims are getting ready to commemorate the month of fasting, spirituality and reflection.

Eid Al-Fitr, Arabic for “the celebration of breaking the fast," is expected to fall on or around Wednesday, April 10, this year. The holiday starts once the crescent moon signifying the start of the month of Shawwal in the Islamic Hijri calendar is spotted.

During the month of Ramadan, Muslims fast from sunrise to sunset and spend time in self-reflection and prayer.

What is Eid al-Fitr?

Eid al-Fitr marks the first day Muslims return to their regular lifestyles . In fact, it's forbidden to fast on this day.

"God has given us that one special day for us to celebrate our ability to get through that one month," Khalid Mozaffar, director of communications and outreach at the American Islamic Association in Frankfort, Illinois, told USA TODAY. 

What do Muslims do on Eid al-Fitr?

The Eid prayer is a cornerstone of celebration. Muslims will congregate in their local mosques in the early hours of the first day of Eid to perform this prayer.

Muslims are also obligated to pay Zakat al-Fitr, a mandatory charity of food that must be given before the Eid prayer.

Every Muslim who can afford to do so is required to donate what is roughly a plate of food.

The donations help people celebrate Eid no matter their financial situation, Tareq Alkhudari, a Kuwaiti human rights activist, told USA TODAY.

Since it's difficult for many people to give an actual plate of food, many Muslims may choose to donate to charity organizations, like Islamic Relief , that have estimated the cost of a plate of food, which will feed those in need on their behalf.

How else do they celebrate?

Eid celebrations all across the globe vary, but it's not uncommon for families to get dressed up in their best clothes, have a nice small breakfast together and spend the day visiting relatives and friends.

Muslims will wish each other "Eid Mubarak, " or a blessed holiday.

Family members exchange gifts or money, sometimes called "Eidi". It's also not uncommon for community members to give out "eidi" to the young children in their communities.

The holiday is celebrated across the globe and different cultures have their traditions and customs for the joyous occasion, including unique dishes and sweets made just for the celebration.

Contributing: Maria Jimenez Moya

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The physical sensations of watching a total solar eclipse

Regina Barber, photographed for NPR, 6 June 2022, in Washington DC. Photo by Farrah Skeiky for NPR.

Regina G. Barber

essay about how you know your actual self

Science writer David Baron witnesses his first total solar eclipse in Aruba, 1998. He says seeing one is "like you've left the solar system and are looking back from some other world." Paul Myers hide caption

Science writer David Baron witnesses his first total solar eclipse in Aruba, 1998. He says seeing one is "like you've left the solar system and are looking back from some other world."

David Baron can pinpoint the first time he got addicted to chasing total solar eclipses, when the moon completely covers up the sun. It was 1998 and he was on the Caribbean island of Aruba. "It changed my life. It was the most spectacular thing I'd ever seen," he says.

Baron, author of the 2017 book American Eclipse: A Nation's Epic Race to Catch the Shadow of the Moon and Win the Glory of the World , wants others to witness its majesty too. On April 8, millions of people across North America will get that chance — a total solar eclipse will appear in the sky. Baron promises it will be a surreal, otherworldly experience. "It's like you've left the solar system and are looking back from some other world."

Baron, who is a former NPR science reporter, talks to Life Kit about what to expect when viewing a total solar eclipse, including the sensations you may feel and the strange lighting effects in the sky. This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

essay about how you know your actual self

Baron views the beginning of a solar eclipse with friends in Western Australia in 2023. Baron says getting to see the solar corona during a total eclipse is "the most dazzling sight in the heavens." Photographs by David Baron; Bronson Arcuri, Kara Frame, CJ Riculan/NPR; Collage by Becky Harlan/NPR hide caption

Baron views the beginning of a solar eclipse with friends in Western Australia in 2023. Baron says getting to see the solar corona during a total eclipse is "the most dazzling sight in the heavens."

What does it feel like to experience a total solar eclipse — those few precious minutes when the moon completely covers up the sun?

It is beautiful and absolutely magnificent. It comes on all of a sudden. As soon as the moon blocks the last rays of the sun, you're plunged into this weird twilight in the middle of the day. You look up and the blue sky has been torn away. On any given day, the blue sky overhead acts as a screen that keeps us from seeing what's in space. And suddenly that's gone. So you can look into the middle of the solar system and see the sun and the planets together.

Can you tell me about the sounds and the emotions you're feeling?

A total solar eclipse is so much more than something you just see with your eyes. It's something you experience with your whole body. [With the drop in sunlight], birds will be going crazy. Crickets may be chirping. If you're around other people, they're going to be screaming and crying [with all their emotions from seeing the eclipse]. The air temperature drops because the sunlight suddenly turns off. And you're immersed in the moon's shadow. It doesn't feel real.

Everything you need to know about solar eclipse glasses before April 8

Everything you need to know about solar eclipse glasses before April 8

In your 2017 Ted Talk , you said you felt like your eyesight was failing in the moments before totality. Can you go into that a little more?

The lighting effects are very weird. Before you get to the total eclipse, you have a progressive partial eclipse as the moon slowly covers the sun. So over the course of an hour [or so], the sunlight will be very slowly dimming. It's as if you're in a room in a house and someone is very slowly turning down the dimmer switch. For most of that time your eyes are adjusting and you don't notice it. But then there's a point at which the light's getting so dim that your eyes can't adjust, and weird things happen. Your eyes are less able to see color. It's as if the landscape is losing its color. Also there's an effect where the shadows get very strange.

essay about how you know your actual self

Crescent-shaped shadows cast by the solar eclipse before it reaches totality appear on a board at an eclipse-viewing event in Antelope, Ore., 2017. Kara Frame and CJ Riculan/NPR hide caption

You see these crescents on the ground.

There are two things that happen. One is if you look under a tree, the spaces between leaves or branches will act as pinhole projectors. So you'll see tiny little crescents everywhere. But there's another effect. As the sun goes from this big orb in the sky to something much smaller, shadows grow sharper. As you're nearing the total eclipse, if you have the sun behind you and you look at your shadow on the ground, you might see individual hairs on your head. It's just very odd.

Some people might say that seeing the partial eclipse is just as good. They don't need to go to the path of totality.

A partial solar eclipse is a very interesting experience. If you're in an area where you see a deep partial eclipse, the sun will become a crescent like the moon. You can only look at it with eye protection. Don't look at it with the naked eye . The light can get eerie. It's fun, but it is not a thousandth as good as a total eclipse.

A total eclipse is a fundamentally different experience, because it's only when the moon completely blocks the sun that you can actually take off the eclipse glasses and look with the naked eye at the sun.

And you will see a sun you've never seen before. That bright surface is gone. What you're actually looking at is the sun's outer atmosphere, the solar corona. It's the most dazzling sight in the heavens. It's this beautiful textured thing. It looks sort of like a wreath or a crown made out of tinsel or strands of silk. It shimmers in space. The shape is constantly changing. And you will only see that if you're in the path of the total eclipse.

Watching a solar eclipse without the right filters can cause eye damage. Here's why

Shots - Health News

Watching a solar eclipse without the right filters can cause eye damage. here's why.

So looking at a partial eclipse is not the same?

It is not at all the same. Drive those few miles. Get into the path of totality.

This is really your chance to see a total eclipse. The next one isn't happening across the U.S. for another 20 years.

The next significant total solar eclipse in the United States won't be until 2045. That one will go from California to Florida and will cross my home state of Colorado. I've got it on my calendar.

The digital story was written by Malaka Gharib and edited by Sylvie Douglis and Meghan Keane. The visual editor is Beck Harlan. We'd love to hear from you. Leave us a voicemail at 202-216-9823, or email us at [email protected].

Listen to Life Kit on Apple Podcasts and Spotify , and sign up for our newsletter .

NPR will be sharing highlights here from across the NPR Network throughout the day Monday if you're unable to get out and see it in real time.

Correction April 3, 2024

In a previous audio version of this story, we made reference to an upcoming 2025 total solar eclipse. The solar eclipse in question will take place in 2045.

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How to Claim Your Part of a $45 Million Walmart Settlement

A class-action lawsuit accusing the retail giant of inflating prices of certain weighed foods and produce resulted in a settlement. Customers may be eligible for a payment of up to $500.

A cashier in a blue Walmart vest with a sun logo stands at a blue register scanning food items, including a bag of oranges and a tin of coffee. Other cashiers are seen in the background, as well as shelves of food.

By Emmett Lindner

Some Walmart customers may be entitled to claim up to $500 as part of a $45 million settlement that the retail giant is paying to resolve a class-action lawsuit, according to a settlement administrator’s website .

The lawsuit, filed on Oct. 19, 2022, claimed that Walmart overcharged shoppers for in-store purchases of certain weighted grocery items, including poultry and pork, and for bagged citrus. The lawsuit accuses the company of “unfair and deceptive business practices” that resulted in higher costs than what were advertised, according to court documents .

The lawsuit alleges that Walmart falsely inflated product weight, mislabeled products and overcharged for clearance products sold by weight.

The retail giant has denied the allegations, but it agreed to the settlement. “We believe a settlement is in the best interest of both parties,” a Walmart spokeswoman said in a statement.

Think you’re eligible? Here’s what to know:

Walmart is accused of overcharging for some weighted items.

The lawsuit claims that Walmart overcharged for certain items. Prices for weighted products, including meat, poultry, pork and seafood, sometimes differed between the item labels and the labels on the shelves, and customers were charged for the higher prices at checkout, according to the settlement.

Other grocery descriptions are said to have been distorted, too. Some bagged citrus products, including navel oranges, organic oranges, organic grapefruit and tangerines, were labeled with a weight that was lower than what appeared on the shelf tags, and customers were charged for a heavier weight of the products than what they took home.

The lawsuit also included some weighted goods that were near expiration, and displayed a price that was lower than what appeared on the register.

How do I find out if I’m eligible for a payment?

Any customers who shopped in a store at a Walmart retail location in the United States and Puerto Rico between Oct. 19, 2018, and Jan. 19, 2024, and purchased the included weighted goods or bagged citrus can apply for a settlement payment through the administrator’s website or by mail.

The deadline to submit any claim is June 5, 2024.

How do I apply, and how much should I expect?

To apply, either fill out the online form on the administrator’s website , or download a form to print and send by mail to an address provided on the form. The form requires claimants to submit contact information, describe the type and number of items purchased, and select a payment option, and gives them the opportunity to upload receipts.

The amount that claimants receive, if approved, can vary. With proof of purchase, shoppers can take home up to 2 percent of the total amount they paid for weighted goods and bagged citrus, with a cap of $500.

I don’t keep grocery receipts from five years ago …

Fear not, you may still receive a little cash, though less than the $500 cap. If you submit a claim without documentation, you can receive between $10 and $25 , depending on the number of relevant items purchased.

When will I find out if I’m approved?

The final approval hearing is scheduled for June 12, 2024. If you qualify for a payment, money will be transferred to you electronically, or by check if requested. The deadline to object or comment on the settlement is May 22, 2024.

Emmett Lindner writes about breaking and trending news. He has written about international protests, climate change and social media influencers. More about Emmett Lindner

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    While "I" and "we" are both in the first person, "you" is used in the second person. Remember this rule, and you'll come up with an interesting essay or even a short story about yourself. You may even want to consider becoming a novel writer in the future after doing it. 3. Stick with "he," "she," "it," and "they".

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